If You Work Hard to Heal But Happiness Is Nowhere in Sight, Try THIS
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- Опубліковано 21 лис 2024
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Everybody loves transformation stories where someone has a horrible life of struggle and addiction and trauma - and then ONE good thing happens and EVERYTHING is happy ever after. It sounds good on social media but does not help those of us who are trying to FREE ourselves from the trauma-driven problems of the past. In reality, the wounds of trauma are still there even after you begin changing your life. In this video, I respond to a letter from a woman who has worked hard to heal but feels lonely, hopeless, sad and angry. You might benefit from hearing my advice.
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14:00 "when you grew up with trauma ...it's like a hoarder house in your head; there's good stuff in there, but there's all this other stuff too" I love this image!
I really can relate to the letter writer. It does feel lonely, it does often feel like we are never ‘winning’ and it often feels like the ‘bad guy finishes first’.
I’m also sad a lot of the time. You are not alone ❤
Her recovery speaks volumes. The anger that comes with having to abandon an entire lifestyle including old friends (and a relationship) can leave you so bitter.
Being alone is hard. I felt her letter to the core. I was also this mess of a person and changed for the better.
I am now 43 and single. I am ok with it. People tolerated me out of codependency which was not ok. I am responsible for myself and my actions now and have self control.
The more I heal, the lonelier it gets. There are some parts of this wound that only a bit of real love from someone else can heal.
I so hear you on that. Since you are in the process of healing, you have completely upped your chances of finding it. Hang in there.
The more I improve the more discerning I become. There are very few people I would consider to be friends or associate with. I focus on myself and control my feelings and thoughts. This works well for me.
It is hard to find people who don’t drink from a shallow puddle. I want more. I want to drink from a deep well. I get real bored real fast keeping things on a surface level. That makes me “heavy company”. People seem either intimidated by me or bored with me. I guess I need to be my own company. Really wish I could talk to people who have self awareness and curiosity about what makes people tick. That is so interesting to me.
Same....but confusing & confronting......as i used to have HUGE attatchment issues & now I feel I'm the opposite.....& finding I don'teven want to be around long term friends....
@@Pure-Pisces It can take a long time to figure out if someone is a real friend or if they’re just looking for attention on themselves. No inclination to make you feel cared for. Bored when you express yourself. Wanting to use you as dumping ground for all their beefs. Yeah, Alone can be a good thing.
@4estdweller4ever Thankyou...🙏
I just have a handful of close friends who respect other species as I do and I superficially interact in a friendly way with everyone else and find happiness that way.
18:10 "im resentful at god because i have fear all these people who are wack get to have all the relationship things and i dont. fear i'm unworthy somehow. fear life is just unfair. fear i'm being punished." spot on, thank you, anna ❤🙏🏻
❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉
That's right.
This is EXACTLY how I feel. After a man I loved for years chose to marry a drug addict & thief (she stole from her own family members & relatives), I (almost) lost my faith both in God & humanity.
Tru
Words!!
The Fairy nailed it when she referred to pre-verbal trauma. This is what makes it hard to heal. This is why talk therapy is not helpful for some of us (the wound is deeper than our talking abilities). This is why reading self-help books is not always beneficial. An intellectual understanding is simply not deep enough to touch the real issue and pain. The Daily Practice provides the emotional release and helps stabilize the nervous system. Pete Walker's concept of an "emotional flashback" was revelatory to to me. I was lying in bed, flipping out one night and it hit me, "Holy crap, this is a flashback." Almost every dysfunctional thing I have ever done has been an attempt to work through pre-verbal issues. Talking and obsessing do not work. The Daily Practice gives my mind and spirit space to rest. Up until the past couple decades, nobody understood pre-verbal trauma. I don't know if the Daily Practice can work for everyone, but it's FREE. What does anyone have to lose?
Hey thanks for sharing but can you lmk what the daily practice is I’m 6:24 in
Is this advertisement or does this really work because I need something 😢
@@jozzz222 When I tried the Daily Practice, I wondered if this was what normal people felt like. I have tried many things and have had a lot of Cognitive Based Therapy and nothing helped. This makes me feel emotionally stable. Nothing else ever has. I plan on using the DP until I die. It doesn't solve any problems; it just makes you capable of dealing with them.
@@PastOverRated It is writing out your fears and resentments briefly and then restfully meditating. No mantra, unless you want one. Catharsis and rest. Twice a day or what you can handle. No magic. The free course is on the Fairy's website. This is not a cult. Like the twelve step groups say, "Take what you like and leave the rest."
Thank you so much for sharing this :) -Calista@TeamFairy
2 things that changed my life: EMDR and Anna’s daily practice. I’ve been doing the daily practice twice a day for 3 years now.
So happy to hear both methods are helpful for you! Keep up the great work!
Nika@TeamFairy
I felt similar and have come to realise a lot of people I know have “settled”. They aren’t truly happy. They just wanted to be married/ have kids/ check a box and they found someone and settled. They aren’t fulfilled, they don’t have deep emotional connections with their partner. I don’t want to do that, so I’m happy to wait and work on myself so I can be the best partner and parent possible when the time comes.
how exactly do you know this if you're not them ?,
@ many people have just told me honestly or spoken about things in conversation. A friend on her wedding day: I don’t love this guy but he will be a good husband and father. A friend complaining about her husband who works long hours to pay the bills and doesn’t want to spend any quality time together- he spends free time out with friends and isn’t interested in spending time with her. A former coworker who calls his fiancée “miss piggy” behind her back and brags he is marrying her because her parents are rich and well connected. An acquaintance who “trapped” a casual boyfriend who wasn’t into her but she was turning 40 and became suddenly desperate for a baby at any cost (they got married to “do the right thing” but look miserable together and verbally argue all the time). Things sometimes work things out or they grow to appreciate and love the other person and life they have built - but generally they have all settled in some way and aren’t truly happy.
@@y.peffle2802How many couples do you know who got married in their twenties who are genuinely happy, content and fulfilled? I only know a rare few. The rest definitely settled. Which is probably why affairs, divorce rates, etc. are so high.
I've been feeling this way a little bit lately. The holiday season is always full of people announcing engagements, marriages, and babies, and I'm barely a year post-divorce from a narcissist who made my life hell. I have many good things in my life, and bevause we never had kids, I was able to make a clear break from him. I'm always happy for the people announcing their good things, but it still brings up twinges of grief at times.
Be happy you were lucky to have made a clear cut from that person. Trust me, had you had his kids, he'd be in your life FOREVER! During this time, rejoice and find comfort in doing what makes YOU HAPPY and helps you heal if youre still feeling "icky" about it. Could be a long relaxing bubble bath, a movie, or a book you want to enjoy. Don't make a romantic partner the center of your life. Take time to be with yourself and perhaps if you enjoy someone else's company, invite them to join you for social gatherings or activities, but setting boundaries. Sending you positive energy!
I understand where you are coming from! Look at it this way-you don’t have that anchor of an ex in your life anymore! You have your freedom! Thinking of you! ❤️🩹
You are so lucky you didn't have kids with that person! You would never break free otherwise. Try to view it as a blessing!
Same. I'm sorry for your pain. I've been out 2 years with still trauma to deal with. I do have a child, but I got off social media. I take myself on dates to see Christmas lights and movies. I buy myself flowers and chocolates and presents to wrap and put under the tree. If I'm emotional, I cry until I feel better. When I'm depressed, I make blessing bags and try to bless others. I mess up, but I try not to lose my soft heart so I don't become like the ones who hurt me. This world is full of demons and mean people, so we need to be our own advocate. Go buy yourself some flowers. You are valuable to God. That's why He made you and even gave His life for you. You are worth being treated well. ♡
I was watching another of Anna's videos and I was going to make this comment but it appears to be more needed here. From what I can guage most of Anna's audience fall in the 30-through-60 age range. None of us are kids (or young according to our Western youth obsessed culture that thinks anyone over 29 is old), but here's the thing! Even at 60 most of us still have 20 more years of living! 20 more years of life! The average American lives until 80...80! Let that sink in.
My point is that we are NOT to old to get the life we want. Sure it hurts seeing others that are doing bad and hurtful things to others succeeding in life with beautiful partners and a group of friends while we who try to do good silently suffer alone. BUT ALL OF US still have 20, 30 40, and 50 long years to change our lives! Again 60 is NOT to old! Because you have 20 years to heal and create the life you want. If the goal you set will take you 10 years to achieve don't avoid it chase it! Because even at 60 you still have 10 years to enjoy it. At 50 you have 20 years, at 40 you have 30 years, etc, etc.
I see a lot of use losing the battle of hope in the comments; that's your trauma talking don't like it blind you with despair and hold you back from starting to rebuild your life to create the future you want.
Hello Angeleyes
Wow 😍 so well said 👍
Thank you 💕
It's so true, life is always worthy to improve, specially with cptsd
I don't want to be pessimistic, but without CCF 🧚♀️ i don't think i would have reach 60th, my body was giving up....
I'm not religious but i practice the daily practice like religious 🎉 i know why, no one persuaded me, i live it 🙌🤩
Thank you Anna 🎉
So happy to see new faces and i'm proud to belong to this amazing community 🧚♀️💞 for hopeless people who dares to try 💕
Bridgette, don't worry, darling. We are all you right now.
This is a funny comment!
Hi Anna, i understand you didn't want to answer this letter, but i'm really happy you did. Im 32 and like Bridget, i have some days like this and those are part of the journey too. I'm not a very "rainbows and unicorns" kind of person, so its a good thing to see im not alone, Bridget is not alone, but we'll get there.
Bridget! We'll get there girl!
Thanks for sharing this :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Some people just don't have that luck in a sense for charisma for happiness.
Sadly it is hard when you become jaded just from your experiences but No One understands or cares you have to use the mask or persona of a happy face just to survive and blend in. Despite being in so much pain.
❤
@keip4568 I hope you can find some relief trying the Daily Practice. Over time it really can help create space in our lives to heal and learn how to connect with others in a healthy way. Sending 💗 and healing thoughts your way.
Thank you for this video Anna. Thank you for sharing your kindness and wealth of understanding. I grew up Christian but walked away from it years ago. Recently i have found myself praying in intense moments where it feels i can get no relief. I dont know why it helps, but it does. Some horrible family issues have recently come to light and I have been listening to the hymn "it is well with my soul" which brings me peace.
Don’t surrender your loneliness so quickly. Let it cut more deep. Let it ferment and season you as few human or divine ingredients can.
~ David Wilcox
What Bridget writes is how I feel for exactly 40 years! No change, no matter what I tried and I achieved tiny little good things but in 40 years zero a bit bigger good things.
I can totally relate with the anger and jealousy that Bridget feels. Sometimes it's better not to be chosen, things aren't always what they seem. Watching a couple of crime storytime videos just proves that looking from the outside most people have no clue what is actually happening in dysfunctional relationships. Social media also makes the illusion of happy relationships so much worse.
I just ordered your book and literally can't wait to get to it. Thank you, you have been a true God send on my path. I truly believe that surrender prayer is where I'm at now and so many people abandoning me over the years is where God is telling me that He wants me to put Him first and love him above all things. That's where my change has been shifting and now people are slowly coming back around it's awesome!
I can relate to a lot of what she is saying. Getting sober and/or healthy often increases the feeling of being alone. I doubt you'd be happy in a relationship throwing pots. But I understand what you mean. Alone IS hard. But you're actually badass.
Idk why the metaphor of brushing your teeth was so funny and what I needed to hear today. Been feeling frustrated at all the time I’ve spent on mental health the past 10 years but seeing it from another perspective has lifted some of the frustration
We're so happy to hear that :) -Calista@TeamFairy
No Sudar Coating with you! Thank you very much!
Anna I am so happy you have the ability to speak openly and honestly about faith, I became a Christian 6 years ago and all good changes that I have done in my life has originated from there. But because I live in Sweden I sometimes feel like I can not talk about it because it is so frowned upon but you inspire me to stand up and say it with my whole chest 😊
I found Rico Tice's Honest Evangelism helpful. About expecting hostility & hunger, at the same time.
Be blessed 🙌🙌
I purchased a rosary to help with my prayers. It's a form of meditation.
Letting go of wanting a relationship and focusing on my hobbies -( Model Car Building,Playing Guitar and Singing and swimming) helps me fill the void.. and I'm 54.
Yeah 🎉🎉 i'm 54 too and want to do the same, focus on what is really important for me and i'll meet people doing what i love 😘 and with more healing they are different with me, i experienced too, less i'm dysregulated and less social problems i have 😮
But no, i don't want to give up for having a romantic relationship, but i want to be capable to have a good life even if i'm unlucky in love.... But can't give up.... It feels too good 😊
Wow wish I could meet up with you for a jam🎉Aussie 😊
@@CristinaEvans-w2m what's a jam🎉Aussi...? 😅
@@RoadRunnergarage8570 a jam is when you get all your music mates to come over and play music make up songs etc and usually get drunk at the same time….gangs of 🤩 fun
You know there's this point in healing when you need to just.... Let the "new" come. I felt it intuitivly, but you did a great job at explaining it. Grateful, because I've been missing a name for this moment.
Oh
Man this letter made me cry because this is exactly where I am. I don't like for people to know it because I'd rather encourage them instead. I don't want them to feel like this.
God keeps telling me "Be still and know that I am God." I HATE being still it drives me nuts! Maybe you do too. Persevering in the face of such adversity is all we can do.
And man, if God is protecting my future husband from this version of me right now, then I am okay with it. Hurting him is the very last thing I want to do 🥺 So thank you Anna for this.
Be blessed 🙌🙌... Your love is first HIM.... Rest will automatically follow...
This loneliness is real. I once took a communication class. Better communication skills are tied to higher self-esteem. The teacher told us to expect that as our communication skills increased, our friendship circles would often decrease, although the people we kept in our lives would be of higher quality. The reason for this was described in a metaphor: In this world, there is more ice cream than cherries on the sundaes. However, once you migrate from being in the ice cream crowd to entering the cherry domain, it is impossible to go back.
Wow this is incredible I love this
My core stuff, and I strongly dislike stating this, is lack of attachment/ and severe betrayal. Have done a lot of work, and am not sure what in the world to do. I don’t know what to do about needs, identity, individuation with the “FID”, the fragmentation, incompletion and disorganization (all internal) and ultimately, it is not yet clear how to flourish.
Laurence Heller writes about trauma as putting one in “exile”, or alone.
- Peter
THANK YOU! This months PMS and period have been hard which made it much harder trying to hide my loneliness and disappointment. 45 permanently single, no friends, no kids. Yup, idiots that get to have a life with no thoughts nor introspectijve. I tried and got less not more and now it's to late and I'm done.
You speak from a deep perspective and are an amazing guide to healing.
I’m so happy!! you shared your spiritual experience in your healing!! Thank you for that.❤❤
Bridget! I think I wrote in a very similar letter to Anna recently I feel you. I feel like I’m doing all the things to be better yet my life doesn’t seem to be changing for the better and I look at others some terrible people who seem to have a much “better” life without trying to do anything to be better themselves. It is really frustrating. I’m alone too now and I often wonder why did I do all this just to be alone. Thank you for writing in as it gave Anna a chance to give you advice and that’s advice for me too that has given me a different perspective and the motivation to go forward a few more steps.
I visit this channel regularly for help - the brush your teeth twice a day was a nod if nothing else. Thank you.
Thank you for being a part of our community :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Anna, thank you for everything you do. I wish I had a friend like you. God is definitely using you. ❤
Omg did i write this letter? Thank you so much for sending this in and thank you for making this video!!!
❤❤❤❤
Thank you for sharing your personal story, Anna. I believe in God and sometimes I have walked away from faith in Him out of frustration but I always come back because in times of prayer and worship I feel so much love and I agree with your prayer. Please show me what to do. And sometimes the thing to do is just keep doing the right things. It takes time…
Wow 💕
That was a strong video 😮
Thank you so much Anna 🧚♀️💞 for your honesty and to share your vulnerability and straight 😊
I relate so much, before knowing the daily practice, i thought that this time it's game over, i was frozen and to walk 5min i needed days of sleep and i was sleeping most of the time.... For me it's like a miracle 😮 , finally something works 🤩✍️🙏🧘♀️
But it's not easy to get used to and i felt the need to practice twice a day 7/7, for me that's what i need NOW to have the capacity to move and i couldn't on my own.... I was a member for some months but struggled to go on Facebook or the zoom calls, i was too much used to avoid, but i needed help....
In the first peer led DP Zoom call a peer 💕 suggested to me to do a peer led zoom call a day, or as much as needed, to get support to practice twice a day 7/7 🎉 and now i'm capable to practice twice a day even without a peer led zoom call or a DP Q&A with Anna, Frida or Cara for some days a week if i don't have the time, what happens now, before i avoided the maximum, more than the maximum... That's why i needed to practice twice a day and to root the practice, by putting it as a priority for sixe months, because without i know i can't and i have work to do that's very important.
Without the need to practice, i wouldn't know how helpful the zoom calls are and that i get an education and a safe place to begin to reconnect with understanding people, it's more than powerful and i'm still surprised that i relate so much and others do relate with me 💕 it's a feeling i didn't know and i love it 🙌
And having the chance to begin to heal with 30th is a gift and it's a gift with over 50th, like me or even older, it's my life and i want to get what i can and not to lose all my life because of my cptsd.... I didn't lash out, i was too frozen but people felt, more than i was aware of, that i was in rage and i think now that i seemed to be a ticking bomb and that was true but i was more in danger to implose .... My first thought in the morning was " help, an other day..... 😢 "
And now i wake up early and don't want to go back to sleep, i begin mostly the day with the DP or at least in the morning and the second one, most of the days, with a peer led zoom call 😘.
Because of avoidence and my lovely cptsd i'm isolated and CCF is the place i interact with people 💕 and have teaching too help me.
Giving me the opportunity to try the daily practice, is the best thing i done too heal from cptsd 🎉 and to see the changes in others is an amazing experience ❤❤❤❤❤🎉 and to listen to those who have more healing is like a message from the future.
While rooting the daily practice, life goes on and i change because i have a better perception and if i want to practice some thing it's ok as long as it doesn't take too much will power away, i need to practice the DP ( daily practice ) because without it i can't do anything, it's the foundation of my healing and i don't have the time to forget it and Anna went through hell too know it 💕 for my own sake and for Annas painful experience and for those who didn't had the chance to know the DP 🧚♀️💞 and payed with there life....... And, who knows, maybe i can be there for one of my siblings or their children or any one from my family who needs help and ask for it.... Without healing i can't do anything and for me it's the DP 🧚♀️💕 ✍️🙏🧘♀️ and CCF 🧚♀️ Land 💯
I hope that Annas video helped those who are in despair, like i was and wish you to give it a try and that you find enough hope to give you a chance 💕🧚♀️✍️🙏🧘♀️ because you worth it no matter how young or old you are, no need to believe, it works 😊 just try 🎉
I LOVE THIS LETTER SO MUCH
People accusing her of bitterness would be exactly where she is if you weren’t in a place you are today, I guarantee it. Even Anna said so.
I totally relate to what she said, maybe not the way it was written down, but the core of the letter is definitely on point.
Even if those feelings are valid, we do need to take care of them so it doesn’t burden us and affect our opportunities. At 30 there is still time for a good relationship, marriage and family, without throwing the pots.
I’m 72 and as damaged now as I was as a preschooler. Layer on layer of grief and pain from my genetic inherited connective tissue syndrome, which brings with it constant pain and a learning disability. As if that were not enough my father was a serial paedophile responsible for the death of my childhood friend and the fracture of myself and many other children ( at least 6 ).My son was abused also from the same age ( 14months or less) he has been in mental hospital for 16 of the last 22 years. The saddest thing is I have no mental health support from anywhere.
Sending love to you
So sad to hear this. I too am sending you love.❤
Our system is broken. Ask for the higher angelic realms (archangel Michael) to come into your daily life and assist you.
I am so sorry ❤
Am so sorry for what ur going thru! I’m in my late 30s and just got diagnosed with a connective tissue disorder. Mainly because I was always “too young” to be in pain and no one bothered to do a scan on me till this year. I know how cloudy this condition can make your mind be. I’m always in and out of the doctors office and on meds. It’s scary and even more isolating on top of the trauma work. Praying for you to be in better spirits.
I dont "like spiritual stuff" but i like you CCF!!! You rock and I've learned sooo much from you. To all of us broken people out there who are watching Anna's videos..hang in there we can do this surviving thing!❤❤❤❤❤
Thanks for sharing this :) -Calista@TeamFairy
People can definitely sense the aftermath and know we’ve been through trauma and ‘stuff’ so that makes us isolated and not very attractive. Just ‘hard work’ and difficult to even bother with because we are extra vigilant and guarded.
Thank God for your comments about God!!!
This is where I am at!! I am so glad I am not the only one! I could not admit I resented the Only one I loved! Thank you thank you!!
Wishing you a happy and productive life Bridget! ❤
I think the main issue I'm experiencing is that I don't know anyone on this journey locally... And I'd probably not get along with them in the end 😅 What a hell
I love that! "Let it get rinsed off a couple times a day." Yeah.
Need this one today, thank you so much!😁
Sending you encouragement :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Now picture your hope, your heart’s desire as a castle that you must keep. In all of its splendor, it’s drafty with lonely. This heart is too hard to heat. When I get lonely that’s only a sign some room is empty but that room is there by design. If I feel hollow that’s just my proof that there’s more for me to follow. That’s what the lonely is for.
You can seal up the pain, build walls in the hallways, close up a small room to live in. But the walls remain to keep you there always and you’ll never know why, why you given the lonely.
~ David Wilcox
( my interpretation is the “lonely” is an unfulfilled need for a spiritual connection. It can also be about your disconnection with yourself)
12:25 “Look, I brushed them in 1972, I’m good now.” 😅
Sometimes our comfort zone is sadness and pain because that is what sometimes that is all people knew.
Sadly. Many who barely have wounds to share or relate want to keep it that way as well using positivity and sugar coating to cause stigma and use avoidance and denial to keep people with scars at a distance. It is sad but many embrace this fake good vibes only mentality.
I embraced the mentalities of a cult too so I guess its like the same thing with the fake happy vibes- people. I'm so glad Im not in that cult now!
i compare myself to others too! why am i not chosen 😢 then i try to explain my misfortune as karmic punishment
That's really unfortunate to put that kind of pressure on yourself. Sometimes it's better not to be chosen, things aren't always what they seem. Watching a couple of crime storytime videos just proves that looking from the outside we most people have no clue what is actually happening in dysfunctional relationships.
Bless you, Fairy Anna, You are my heroine and savior! After a lifetime of out-of'control thoughts, behaviors, disassociation, rage, insomnia, bulimia, envy, self'-hatred and finally, a heart attack, you've said out.loud what I've been needing to hear for decades.. You've given me an understanding of what's been wrong all these years and why I've left a path of destruction in my wake. Thanks to your videos, I now feel I know who I am and I've never been able to say that before. I CAN take action to control my reactions...who knew?.
I'm so glad the channel has been helpful. We're all rooting for you :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Bridget I am a 37 year old man and I hate you and everyone else on this planet for all the reasons you listed yourself, but I have to realize that those feelings are fundamentally wrong and that’s just a part of me that’s begging to come back home and be one with me.
Thank you so so much for opening up about your spirituality I felt this was so vulnerable and brave of you to do and I really appreciated it, in fact felt it was one of your best videos because of including this Higher Dimension in a real way, which says to me that Bridget is on the right path, because I do believe we do go through many dark nights of the soul, yet your letter Bridget and the courage it took to reach out and bring your vulnerability and your authenticity and your feelings into the light helped many of us listening, so that in itself is a great service to the whole. Wow this for me was a really powerful episode. I have studied Psychosynthesis psychology and although I didn’t get it at the time, this is a Transpersonal psychology which I didn’t understand either, but basically it includes a spiritual element, a Higher Power, but it also include what they call the unconscious where all our trauma lives, and so it gives us empowerment. That’s why I believe that as the planet is waking up more spiritually and people awaken, no one is good or bad, they are just living according to their level of consciousness 😊what they know, the best they can do and like Crappy Childhood Fairy says what looks like something on the outside in someone’s life, they may be trying desperately hard to keep up appearances but dying deep inside. I’m also learning that what has nearly killed me in this life is “Comparison is the thief of joy” so I try to keep in my lane now and not take on others stuff. The fact that your doing this work too gives me encouragement that I am too on the right path and although it’s flipping hard work we have each other to keep bringing us to light, especially on great channels such as CCF’s. This is a sign, a very strong sign that you getting healthy is working because you’ve noticing what is healthy or not. I also find journalling for an hour or so a day and “psycho education” really really helps. Thanks everyone, thanks CCF and thanks Bridget for being brave enough to come out of the darkness into the light and connect with this world where there are people doing the collective work of healing too and hopefully the world will shine brighter because of people like you, CCF and the rest of the collective consciousness 😮 I’m in complete awe from what I’ve got out of this episode and so grateful 😇. Sending much love and much light to you all ❤
Anna
Having relationships is horribly overrated. I was unbearably lonely for several years. All i did was try and work on myself to be a better partner, only to be screwed over yet again! That was 3 years ago. I realized during this time that most people are crap and lie, cheat, steal and betray you. I have so much peace after making the co conscious decision that i simply don't really need a close connection with anyone to feel good. I really used to think i did, but not having to be responsible for anyone's emotions, jealousy, lies etc. is just so much better. I have my little hobbies and i do have two teenage sons which is enough for me. We always want what we don't have and when you finally get it, you realize you didn't need it in the first place.
This really hit me. So glad I found your content. Thank you.
Glad you're here! -Calista@TeamFairy
Hit very close to home. Thank you
We're so glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Anna, in one of your videos in the past, you mentioned that if we grew up with a parent who didn't care about us, then it's even more important to not repeat that behavior of pattern, and the necessity of caring about others in the road to recovery.
And I thought about that alot as I found myself, like the letter writer, alone. It took over a year, but I've steadily reached out for help and went out of my way to show others I care and to be present in their lives, perhaps even as a source of hope and faith every now and then as I've been told, and I've found that I am less alone now. I do have people in my life that care about me. And during those dark periods, I would often ask myself, what would Fairy advise if she saw me now? And honestly, that has kept me so grounded.
My own mother has hurt me in many ways but it gives me hope that there are female role models out there, even strangers, who can uplift me and give me hope for the future.
Wow, that's so wonderful to hear! Thank you for sharing, I'm sure Anna will appreciate this :)
-Calista@TeamFairy
❤~Yes, asking how to proceed is an excellent prayer!!!~❤
I can relate. I compare myself to other people all the time... They seem to do everything wrong and still have people loving them... I don't get it and it's weird but I just prefer to stick to myself and my recovery bc I gone too far now. I'd rather be alone than having someone driving me crazy more than I drive myself lol
Feeling superior to others can seem like a toxic thing, but you know it's really rough when you feel superior to others and it still doesn't make you happy. Maybe you're focusing on feeling superior so hard that you end up focusing only on people that hurt you.
I understand everyone wants a relationship- But my main issue and life long one is how this effects work. I had an epiphany tonight that I have a drive to perform and attempting to do so like a “ normal “ person…Creating a lot of unhealthy stress and burnout cycles- misery. With adhd it’s an impossible scenario it seems. Recently I tried a sensory deprivation tank which was relaxing in a very deep level. I am looking into Ketamine therapy- with decades of high levels of chronic stress and exhaustion i know the daily practice is a helpful tool but it’s going to take more “ muscle “ to pull me out of this hole. Thanks Anna for another great video! 🙂✌🏻
Beautiful testimony, thank you so much.
Thank you for being a part of our community :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Hi Hannah I have watched so many of your videos on utube and for the best part they have helped I was in such a bad place a while back as you said I not only watch your videos I found other's on utube and I had that same feeling you mentioned a overwhelming sense that I had to deal with all this with a sense of calm and that's how I have lurnt from watching utube videos I needed to just try and get me back to being someone that could deal with my cptsd in a more sensable way which I tried to be as a kid I had this as a child I wanted to be grown up but at the same time I knew that my life was so wrong and it's like my brain had shut down to protect me because I was so confused and angry and lonely I still feel lonely but I'm me
We're so glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Hello there crappy childhood fairy, guess what, youre speaking my language..
Alot of what you said, about your own experience is how i feel..
Like the resentment to God..
I've still got to reach that point of calm, and acceptance that the higher power is working for me and not against me.
Aside from that, things like disregulation, and cpsd is new revelations to me..
I'm keen to get started on your daily practice..
Lovings❤
Thanks for sharing this, we're so glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Not a day goes by where I don't wish to be the only person on the planet since it feels like the ONLY way to truly be free. THEN I could go on a LOT of the adventures I've been wanting since I was 8 without facing criticism, rejection, or judgement from others & be happy. THEN I can perform menial tasks around the house without someone pointing out an incomplete task or finding something else to b**** @ me about & I can keep my sense of f****** accomplishment!!!
You expressed this exactly how I feel!!!!
Glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Anna your videos have helped me change my life. Thank you for every video.
Wow, we're so happy to hear that! Thank you for sharing :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Yes
I really do feel like that.
But, I'm working on changing that.❤
Thanks
I am too old now ..with 63 to have " chances" opertunities...I try to value the smal things but this deep loneliness is hard to bear 😏🤦♀️🤷♀️
❤❤❤
As you read the letter I thought, where is my slice of the pie .
Everyone else has one .
Where's mine !?!?!?!?
Not everyone. Although it seems like it looking over the fence from the other side ….
I'm 65 and still alone. I feel emotionally damaged.
❤❤❤❤
I have mostly recovered from the trauma in my past, but am currently being retraumatized by people in my life!! Struggling!!
@@valerier4308 retraumatising is extremely rarely discussed anywhere
❤❤❤ bless you
@RecoveryTrauma ❤️🙏
Just want to encourage someone in that sometimes bad things happen and your life seems harder precisely because you are chosen. The enemy sees your value and tries to destroy your view of it. The darkness would have no reason to target you and try to overcome you if you didn't have any light. Something to think about.
❤🙏🌹... Thank you Ana... GOD BLESS YOU...
12:25 “Look, I brushed them in 1972, I’m good now.” 😅
I ordered your book on 29th of August (i am located in Berlin, Germany) - it always gets delayed by Amazon. :(
I am looking forward to re-regulate ❤
We hope it arrives soon :) -Calista@TeamFairy
@@CrappyChildhoodFairyI can translate books into German ?
Learn how to be happy with yourself first cause no one can do that for you except yourself.
Yes and no.... I couldn't do it on my own, without the daily practice i would be still be frozen and sleeping to avoid my life and without the teaching i get from Anna and CCF 🧚♀️ in general, it's too much for one head, at least for mine..... I have to do the work but not all of it and not alone ❤🎉
We are 8 milliards, i hope there are people to feel good with... Or i don't get something...
Glad to hear Anna's materials were helpful for you, but the work you had to do on your own and this is something to be proud of. You did a great job!
Nika@TeamFairy
@CrappyChildhoodFairy thanks Nika 🙌 🤩 i don't feel it often, but yes i'm proud and grateful too ❣️
Life is never one good thing and everything is better after. Just give it time. These days I see alot of early twenty something's thinking life has magically changed for them. I had the same experience in my 20s and over time, things change and your no longer on that pink cloud of new found adult independence because as you get older, you have more responsibility. I wish I could go back to my mid twenties when I was still naiive and didn't know it, but I do still get my childish energy working out as if I'm 20 so perhaps I can't complain.
@@Dobermanmomma you are and think exactly like me. Recently I get quite tired from experiencing that nothing gets better. I fight so much for little improvements and I achieve them and I always think positive about the smallest nice things in daily life but the big problems stay, like not enough money for a normal life, hard work prevents time for finding friends but I see too many people who primitive like alcohol and primitive talk, and I have not any nice relative in my family, but having health issues etc.
I don't understand anymore what all this is about. I was patient for decades and hoping for better situations and never was unfriendly to others but always trying to be positive also about tiny nice things. Led to nothing. Still no love, no family, no friends, no nice apartment, but a crappy job to survive and all the horrible memories of trauma situations in the childhood or as young adult
@@Dobermanmomma and especially the thing with watching young people in their pink cloud: recently it's reeeeally hard for me to watch this, see often them
~I did spend a long time watching video after video on The Daily practice, and i finally gave up cuz it never addressed my questions~I just decided to keep doing it the way i have been, which is to focus on gratitude & goodness before my meditation, UNLESS im already having a lot of resentful & fearful thoughts~
I so feel this.
Glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy
@CrappyChildhoodFairy ❤️ love your channel always. Thanks.
Thank you
Thank you for being a part of our community :) -Calista@TeamFairy
I'm not saying this to be cute or flip, but this is the truth: Comparison is the thief of joy. That's a fact! And not just comparison of your life vs. the lives of others. It also includes comparing your current life with the life you believe you could have had if you hadn't experienced trauma. Comparison (in this way) is a pointless venture.
I'm wishing well to everyone here (including myself).
I fully agree. I "hate" my species, but I am upbeat and happy and I love my partner, my small family of origin, a few of my amazing friends and coworkers, and my cat companions and other animals who aren't human. I never compare myself to other people. I am overall very happy. I am childfree by choice and agnostic and very satisfied with my life. I have a few issues I should address caused by trauma, but feel my decades of charity work devoted to helping animals fixed me along the way.
I feel exactly like Bridget 😢😢😢
You're in the right place and we're all rooting for you :) -Calista@TeamFairy
I can not sign in for the information on your writing course! I have tried several times! It mentions having a stronger password! I changed it and it did not make a difference! Thank you !
Please contact our customer service team at hello@crappychildhoodfairy.com They know how to resolve this.
Nika@TeamFairy
Dude, every time I open up one of these videos I’m just hearing my internal thoughts coming out of someone else’s mouth. I have literally said the exact same thing as Bridgette 100 times.
Unfortunately I’ll never be able to afford any help. Oh well.
If you haven't already, you may want to try Anna's free course ‘The Daily Practice’. It is the technique that led to Anna’s own healing, and she uses it to this day. Here’s a link if you’re interested: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice -Calista@TeamFairy
What's worse? Keep being told by professionals and friends that they can't help me....Homeless shelter isn't appropriate for me.
I'm in a terrible situation that I keep attracting abusive situations including physically and financially abusive landlords.... Exacerbated traumatic incidences in
warzone in Israel. I need help to be hosted somewhere. My abusive mom is a narcissist in Israel. Discarded by siblings for attempting to raise issues of childhood S abuse being passed on to the neices and nephews with Silence. Anyone can host me for 1-2 MONTHS until I can just calm down and get a job? I'm an American ex-pat. It's an extremely long and overwhelming story.....🙊🤐
I don't believe in any spirituality since I am 25, so for more than 25 years . I have a couple of (how I find) good reasons not to believe anything and I do NOT not believe in anything because of bitterness or anger or so but for relaxed reasons. So am I lost in a trauma healing process at the very hard parts without spirituality?
I would say no. I healed myself with charity work and bibliotherapy and am agnostic. I am surrounded by happy atheists and agnostics.
I feel like I’ve been awakened from a sleep state I’ve been in for most of my life until 2 years ago, my childhood dog of 17 years passed. Why am I 31 and only realising how much damage was done to me in my childhood? The situations I have put myself in for most of my life and I never thought anything of it. I’ve been completely isolated, my family have cut me off and my relationship has broken down. Tbh, I begged God to show me the truth and I’ve seen it now but I feel stuck. I just want guidance. I don’t know what to do. I can’t sit still for long enough to meditate or pray. I’m stuck in this place in my life and I’m exhausted.
If you haven't already, you may want to try Anna's free course ‘The Daily Practice’. It is the technique that led to Anna’s own healing, and she uses it to this day. This technique involves writing and meditation, but when you first start practicing, you may want to shorten the meditation part, and over time you can try to lengthen it if that suits you. Here’s a link if you’re interested: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice
Nika@TeamFairy
Will you ever be near Cincinnati Ohio?
Anna doesn't currently have any events planned there, but we will certainly send out an email if that changes :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Question: My anxiety got worse after some weeks of daily practice...is this normal?
Thanks
I'd need more info. Be sure to watch the FAQ videos in the free course, in the appendix of my book. I answer in depth there.
Try mediation
My life sucks
How many more tests and lessons though. They say God puts these things in our lives and in our way to see if we have learnt anything …Would we be silly and gullible enough to fall for it all again. But as I said … how many more.
How do I find the zoom calls?
Here's a link to the calendar: bit.ly/DailyPractice_Calls -Calista@TeamFairy
I can't seem to break up, I feel so desperate... 😭I am so afraid to be without belonging. My son is estranged from me. What if I break up, where do I belong?
@@jamirohertje please write more: where do you live, what were little belongings you experienced in the past? What were belonging-wishes in the past that haven't worked out really? I guess you are 45+/- very roughly (!), what had been in the age of 30 your expectations about belonging to... when you are 45+? You need someone to talk about all that and THEN develop new plans for your new phase of life. A belonging needs to be integrated into long-term plans and aims. I give you a hug
@@jamirohertje if you are 35+/- the adapt the numbers in my previous text by minus 10, doesn't changes the content though.
(By the way, why are there all this videos about Germany in your Playlist of your channel? Have you traveled there once?)
@@Mathias-k6t5g I am 45 yrs old. Divorced 4 years ago, but left 6 years ago. My father died last year and because of this my son decided to go no contact. I come from a dysfunctional family and my son was sick and tired of this. I travelled to Germany a lot, expecially the Eiffel region. I live in the Netherlands, so it is a nice getaway for me.
@@jamirohertje you went through really hard times. You have decades ahead of you, it's very likely somewhen your son will come back to you, often hard to believe but when he gets old enough to understand better how complicated life is... Have hope and try to find for yourself new aims. Is not easy at all. I am 52 and also still struggle. I live near Münster NRW, studied in Trier
@@Mathias-k6t5g I have visited Trier, beautiful city!
How to write you letter??
You can submit your letter here: bit.ly/CCF_Letters
Nika@TeamFairy
lmfao this is me, i'll listen on.