*Take my free Daily Practice course: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice *Join my Membership and access my private online community: bit.ly/CCF-Membership *Visit my website at crappychildhoodfairy.com *Order my new book RE-REGULATED here: bit.ly/3XiLsj2 *Have a question for me to answer on UA-cam? Write me here: bit.ly/CCF_Letters
My whole life I’ve lived for glimpses of joy & productivity & creativity in between chasms of nothingness filled with trauma, worthlessness, & mood swings…
@ exactly. It feels like I’m going to make it this time & sometimes (a lot) my partner behaves in a way that doesn’t support my good periods and they take me down, knowing they’re taking away my joy to get my attention back on them.
Oh gosh. For years I thought it was just me. I did everything I could to hide it. I would come home from my full time job and collapse on my bed. Nothing was left for my family or joy. Now I'm retired and thanks to this channel I'm doing much better.
This behavior pattern doesn't really describe me. Rather, I grossly underestimate how much time and effort something takes to accomplish, like moving to an apartment while I'm working, emptying a self storage unit, renting a van to transport my belongings, etc. I often miscalculate by 50% in time, labor, etc. Afterward, I have to shift back to my work and routine. It could take me weeks and months to unpack. This is not about Time Management but never developing an appreciation for what my time is worth, lacking the funds to get to the finish line.
This is why I avoid things/orders with deadline. It dysregulates me, affect my autism and ADHD, procrastination ensues, I overperform at thr last minute and spend the next two days to reregulate myself. It's very exhausting!
My childhood was trauma and my entire adult life as well! I'm traumatized daily! Single Moms are forever. I have a list of health problems from all the stress and exhaustion.
I’m your triplet….same here. I have three daughters. My first identical twins. I struggle to feel joyful when chaos is everywhere around me being three humans life coach!
I was just starting to get a grip on some of this stuff through watching these videos after my therapist at the time told me about CPTSD and how my daily life was being so impacted. Then a I found out I was pregnant with my son who was born in September. I was extra motivated to figure this shit out so I could be the best mom I could be and not pass down this generational trauma. My son died unexpectedly 12 days after he was born. It was such a traumatic experience finding my perfectly healthy baby just gone. Since then I’m in the deepest slump I’ve ever been in. I don’t know how to keep living. So I’m back here watching your videos. I forgot how much peace it brought me just hearing things laid out in such an easy to digest way. Thank you for all you do.
Oh my goodness, AshlyAnn I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of your baby boy. I had just finished listening to this video and was scrolling through the comments when I read yours...I am sure you are going through a very difficult time. The Crappy Childhood Fairy videos have always been a comfort for me as well during my hard days. Sending love your way, I truly hope for much peace for you. Keep learning and taking in the good knowledge to reprogram our brains that will give us strength.
OMG, I'm so very sorry. I can't imagine. I wish for you all the love and support in the world for this impossibly difficult time you're going through. ❤
@AshlyAnn91, how heartbreaking. I'm so very sorry. Hearing that these videos comfort you makes me want to go make some videos as best I can. Thank you for sharing with us what you're going through. Perhaps I'll see you on a Zoom call soon?
Yes jealous, insecure people will try to knock you down because they see a weakness...that you don't believe in yourself. I still come across this but the more I heal I can stand my ground and put my energy back into what I was doing, saying ect. The CCF is an amazing person to have figured this out, heal and go on to help others! She helped me immensely, when no one fully understood what people who experienced childhood trauma really went through. I thought I was alone! Forever grateful CCF!❤
I'm beginning to think maybe it's not AuDHA maybe it's c-ptsd? They have such similar patterns. Thank you so much and - I'm sure you were under 500K last time I noticed and now WOW! 904K subs. Well done you what a success x Very happy for you x You help so many people understand their messy brains, thank you from the bottom of my heart x
Yup, could be. Especially if you were diagnosed in adulthood as a woman. The healthcare system just doesn't know what to do with people who have experienced past trauma so they pop a label on it and suggest meds.
It makes sense to me. As a child it was either a good day (when my father was sober and kind) or it was a horrible day (when my father was abusive). Some periods, months and even years were relatively stable. And some were just pure chaos. I lived like that for seventeen years. So. Now I have internalized exactly what you say, Anna.
This explains why I stopped doing art after several shows of my work several years ago. At one show they had a comment book. Someone wrote a terrible criticism that pierced my heart. I ignored the positive comments. It had taken me years of perseverance to get the courage to get to the level of work I was doing. I know comments-good or bad-mean nothing unless they give you practical information. I let this get to me. Now I’m crawling back out again slowly. I don’t blame the commentator. It came from within.
@@lillianbarker4292 yes, but the critic wrote the thing that caused you to take yourself down. I have to force myself to look for ways to turn my attention to the people that like my work. Those are the ones that see you & like you the way you are.
I’m sorry to read this happened to you. Keep taking steps for you, continue to practice self compassion. I’m excited for your art. The world needs your creativity 👊🏽
It's NEVER a good idea to criticize harshly or cruelly, no matter how much you think they may deserve it, which I'm sure you didn't. LOTS of angry frustrated wannabe artists turned critics out there. So very sorry this happened to you.
Oh, please don't let the negative one keep you down! No artist, writer, etc., will please everyone! A mystery writer will bore a romance writer, and so on!
Mine was light at first. Lots of work small crashes here and there. Then it went to day long crashes. Then weeks. Then months. And one year i completely gave up. I felt extreme shame and guilt but i felt hollow and unable to try. Finally i snapped out of it. And now in my humming along phase, im seeing a therapist and working through trauma.
I relate to that. I'm 53 and nearly a year I've felt flat and pointless, desperate for it to shift, it will for a day or 2 then I slip back. Glad you're humming now, my hum will return soon..
This explains so much! I worked for 28 years in that environment! Your boss was afraid that you would be successful and take his job, that is why he told you that you could not work there and write. I usually ran into that with female bosses, not male bosses.
ANNA, I was cleaning up in the kitchen, and your story of 18 years" sabotage and working for that monster boss moved me so much I have taken off my cleaning gloves just to write this comment! I kind of did a similar thing with my poetry. I feel my poems are.unwanted. But in the depths of my being I know they are extraordinary. I just felt such an epiphany of realization hearing you. But before that I feel such empathy and compassion and love for you!! May God bless you. And THANK YOU! ❤
duno if this is a cptsd manifestation, but i would hold a grudge against that boss for 18 years, stuck in unforgiveness, while continuing to sabotage myself and not advance 🙈 im very thankful you made this channel; your way with words is so healing 🙏🏻
I blamed a college coach like that - still hold a grudge so much so that when their ego got them knocked down more than a few pegs I felt better. They earned every bit of it - If I have to be held to a karmic standard I feel like we all should
I also struggle with resentment, sometimes it bubbles up and it's almost like it's happening again right now, all the waves of emotion.. EFT is a useful aand brilliant tool if you have a moment during a resentful reemergence..it can diffuse all the intensity very quickly.
This explains the pattern that has persisted throughout my life ~ I’ve never heard anything that comes closer to my own lived experience. Having always looked through the lens of a mental health diagnosis, minus the contribution of CPTSD (till recently), I remained perplexed that my symptoms were being managed without any significant change in my “take on the world/now crash” ride. This video had me tearing up and nodding my head in recognition. Thank you, Anna!! You are amazing 💕🕊️
Im in a really bad low/non productive/procrastinating phase. I go through phases where im extremely productive, usually to the detriment of my social life and relationships, and that can last months to a year. But then I go through phases where I can't get myself to do anything productive at all, outside of my work and exercise routines (I work in service industry and I want to focus more on my creative hobbies to turn them into a career). It's a tough cycle because the harder I am on myself for not getting shit done or being focused enough, the more I want to distract myself and not do those things.
I disassociate myself from the crop I need to be doing around me right now It's really hurting me. I do not find joy in doing it alone. Maybe if I had someone just to sit with me I could do it I don't know I'm not motivated I don't care I need to get rid of these clothes and some stuff that I want to get rid of. It's a yucky state of mind and heart and soul
Whew! This really spoke to me. I’ve been living in this state for almost 6 months now - and off-and-on for…well, forever. What stood out to me was the “big project” bit because you’re right: I often step right up to my edge, then push it a little too far, and WHAM! I crash. Thank you for this insight. And about routine (which I tend to resist). Very helpful.
@@dddilworth12 I work hard to finish something(s) because I know that other shoe is going to drop & the first half of every good Period is spent cleaning up what I let go of put off during the dark period leading up.
I am still so immediately triggered by criticism or perceived criticism. It's hard to forgive myself. But I will. I know that I can do that. I know that I can keep getting better. Thanks to this channel and Pete Walker's book and other resources, I know that I will keep getting better. And that everyone else w CPTSD can too ❤
This video keeps getting more accurate the more I listen to it. I'm moving towards something new. the crash is real. It's fucking up alot for me. Self sabotage, I'm very good at that.
I just needed to tell you how very helpful this video has been to me. I've done a lot of therapy, and am a therapist myself, yet sometimes it takes a lot for something to "hit me" like this video did. You explained it so well. Many many thanks.
I laughed so many times during this video because it’s so, so true. I know exactly what you’re talking about! And sure, I suppose I could cry about it or rant about it or get all-the way-under-the-covers about it, but for right here, right now, I got to laugh about how wonderfully imperfect I am and how my journey of recovery continues, with its ups and downs and occasional bleeps. Thank you, as always, for sharing your experience, strength and hope (I, too, was an Alanoner for about 12 years, and it definitely helped save my life and restore my sanity), and for continuing to forge a path for those of us who care to follow. Oh, and I hope that many, many more people, especially therapists, counselors, psychologists, psychiatrists, etc, learn how CPTSD with its ups and downs, can look a lot like bipolar disorder. I never had this misdiagnosis, thankfully, but I’d bet some people have.
Yes, I did get this misdiagnosis, and am on a crap ton of meds that caused me to gain well over 100 lbs. An anti-anxiety medication probably would have done the trick, but I got put on the heavy duty sedating meds. Now I have high cholesterol, at high risk for developing diabetes, and am desperately trying to lose weight.
OMG...I am in tears watching this! You just described my life!! And Im 54 now 😞😞. I so hope your advice can now help me change these negative and self sabotaging behaviours and patterns....🤞🤞🤞. Thank you so much
Thank you for the story repost. When I heard it before, I understood completely. Yet, this time, I grieved and consoled my old self. I was run over by a jealous colleague & a terrible friend. I respected both to be my mentors. I quit the job, trying to desperately get into academia. I may not have made it yet, but I have moved on. Thank you for giving me the moment of realisation ❤
Idk... it's been so long since I have ever been in a routine. I have so many physical ailments that I spend my days reacting. I wake up, and usually, after a trip to the bathroom... my first thought is, "What hurts the most?" And I spend most of my day just putting bandaids over whatever screams the loudest. I don't think it's that I don't want a routine, but if I force those expectations onto myself, I just feel guilty, and then I feel physically worse. I don't make promises, and I don't set goals because my life is so inconsistent. I've thought about setting a routine around my pill box because that noisy little sucker is pretty hard to ignore, but there's still times I slam the alarm off and don't take the pills because I might get too tired from them and get nothing done. I've recently diagnosed myself with ADHD & high functioning autism and I get accused of using it as an "excuse," but it is quite the opposite. Now, I don't just hate myself for my shortcomings... I know there are answers & other people have gone through it, too. I know rewiring your brain takes a long time, and I am trying to be patient with myself. The hardest part seems to be, "I know I have been doing this wrong, and I need to do this to fix it." My mother didn't allow room for failure. I'm not sure why I ever thought it was logical to get it right the first time. I took guitar lessons at age 5, and no matter how I would complain about the pain, she'd just say I need to build up callouses and "practice makes perfect!" I really wanted to play piano. Then by age 13, I wanted to play the drums in band. My mom said, "Girls don't play drums!" So, to spite her, I quit playing guitar as well. Plus, the fact that my guitar teacher said, "She's got so much her own style, she could probably become a professional!" And I thought, "Oh, Dear God, no! It's going to get worse!" What do I want for myself? Actually, it is very similar to what you do, ANNA. I want to help people and find a better love than I have ever known... even if that is a support group. I signed up for your information once, but my guess is you asked for money? I'm on disability and can hardly get by as is plus, I don't have much hope for our future economy. God bless!
Thank you, Making My Bright Sunny Adulthood Fairy! Thank you for this right when I needed it so greatly! Going to finish listening to modulating the ups and downs and see what emotional blockades I can overcome and defeat today!
what I don’t understand with this channel’s content is why I can actually identify of these problems in my daily life (struggle). Eventhough I have not experienced any severe trauma.
Still the question remains why there is difference in interpretation. That there is, also means that some people who dealed with severe traumas could for what ever reason heal better from it than some others with less severe traumas. So some point in healing seems to be less accessible for some people regardless of the degree of severity they were facing. What is or are these factors? And there is no plausible answer but things like „character“ and character - what is that? But for sure a concept that, basically, sells. However there are circumstances in everyone’s life which for sure give an explanation.
Oh how blessed you are thank God every day because experiencing trauma changes your life and not in a good way so we so grateful and so thankful and keep living the good life. Maybe you’re one of the few lucky blessed ones and that is something to be valued and appreciated and letting our creator know that you’re so grateful for the blessing that you received in your time on this earth.
Holy crap, this was so me! Just about every milestone I ever achieved in my career was followed by a horrific crash and burn or a slow dying on the vine. Thank you for affirming that I'm not crazy, or alone.
Totally true. These are some great insights and helpful tips, Anna, to "walking the path" as you call it, being present with our thoughts, emotions, and responding to needs instead of reacting to situations (oftentimes that are out of our control). Brain health is so important. Thank you. Your stories about other's sabotaging your efforts is a particularly painful part of the 'unveiling' process during our recovery efforts. The harmful actions, seemingly trivial at the time, of others or ourselves can derail a promising career or even shorten lives. Damaged people are everywhere in need of either a hug or "a slap in the face" (aha! moment) to keep humanity going. I appreciate these aha! moments you share in your videos.
I grew up with parents that were physically and sexually abusive alcoholics that abused myself and my brothers and sisters. I managed to suppress it till I was 30. I am now 62 and have been under psychiatric care of one doctor or another constantly since. Been in and out of a psych ward 6 times. I have often gone through what you described.
My opinion is that most of that field don't really help people but just want to make them functional for society again. When you haven't got help you were at the wrong place.
I stopped doing everything.I have two degrees and claim sickness benefit so many people have told me I am crap and I can't do anything right .My mother is highly critical of me .She still makes remarks about how clumsy and forgetful I am.I am in total crash I won't even socialise with freinds and I have basically been in bed for 3 years .I really need to get out of it.I just wish I could go for a walk in nature .This is the longest crash and I really need to get out of it.Thanks for this video ut has opened my eyes❤
Hello. 1st. My heart and soul hurts for you. You do NOT deserve to live this way. I have had episodes like this that lasted three days and that was grueling and draining and degrading and awful and I can’t imagine what you’re going through doing this to yourself for three years!!!!please dear friend I beg of you to get help. 🛐❤️🛐Please see someone or talk to someone -you’ve got to make some changes. Your life is so much more worth, laying in a bed. you are so loved. You probably don’t even realize how many people are hurting because they feel so helpless in trying to change you but only you can do it. I know this for a fact!! my heart is with you. God is with you. I am praying for you and I really really hope that you get some help and make some changes. I love you, dear friend. 💕
It sounds hard but we're glad you are here. It's not easy to make the first step to healing, but a walk in nature sounds like a REALLY good idea! I strongly encourage you to do so. You may also want to try Anna's free Daily Practice course. It is a simple technique that can be done by anyone anywhere and it has already helped many people around the world. Check it out, it can help you too!: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice Nika@TeamFairy
Another great video! Thanks for the reminder that we don’t heal in isolation and for the permission/reminder to take the time to re-regulate so that we can get things done. I know all this but sometimes you just gotta hear it again! I like your analogy to diabetes…so true.
Your so brillant I am so glad I've found your channel. I'm in tears typing this... I have so many issues and want to change but don't know how or even what to change. Thank you.❤❤
Omg this is really speaking to me. I can relate so much to the crushes and low level depression/inner frustration when working in jobs that I KNEW were not meant for me in the past.
Thank you so very much for sharing your experiences with trauma crashing. You have inspired and encouraged me and I really appreciate you so much. God bless you dear.
All of your videos have been so helpful to me since I started watching about 2 years ago...I have to say that your most recent videos have been immensely timely and helpful with where I'm at in life. Recently I've struggled with productivity as it relates to personal tasks and pursuing hobbies to fill my free time. This really helps to reframe and rethink my thoughts of feeling lazy or like I'm not good at anything. Even worse, when I've been feeling dysregulated I start into this thinking pattern that tells me I have no identity. I have put off using the free Daily Practice course but this video just gave me the push to finally do that in my extra free time I'll have this week with the holiday. Thank you so much for your work and providing these invaluable resources to all of us.
omfg, just watched your video, this is exactly me. Ive known for a while that I suffer from CPTSD, from severe child hood abuse. Emotional, physical beatings regularly, religious, sexual, intellectual. Ive just recently learned about the freezing, now just learned about how the trama makes your productivity comes in burst. Ive seen it so many times in my life. Its like running around life being in a straight jacket all the time. I have seen that I will set myself up for failure, when I know I have so much more inside of me.
Wow thank you for sharing your story. I hope you will never tolerate a crappy boss again. This video is very true of me and my accomplishments. Ive always felt like my success has been start/stop. I really dont think there’s a cure though! Nobody gets saved from this, when their parents were rotten? Modulating my crashes, ok. I think i do that, but i still get harmed by those crashes that are very real and keep coming.
Wow!! I thought i was bipolar because of my ups and downs, but it's wasnt my mood it was my energy. I was chasing down an autoimmune disease, nope. Its unresolved trauma! Wow wow wow. I'm shocked but happy I found an answer and solution. ❤ my gratitude is immeasurable.
Great insight. You have described the pattern of my entire life, and while I am HSP who struggles with C-PTSD, I did not tie that to the ups and downs in productivity until now. This video represents a particularly high moment in productivity. ;-)
Sounds to me that those two persons weaponised their jealousy on you. And to state someone else and others said it is proper mean. I thought in my mind your 'Unsolicited advice' tic tok vid was absolute genius and now I know that you are skillful filmaker and that makes sense. I enjoy writing screenplays and realised through an awful horrific experiance of someone who was a Cannes winning film producer I will never get in industry and if I ever did I would never clwant to work with such narcasistic individuals Ive given that dream up completely years ago. Did nothing more and now I decided to write novels instead. I struggle like you did with falling down but trying harder than ever to get it done. Thankyou for your awesome video that I know will benefit so many of us.😊
Oh boy am I familiar with this one. Your so spot on describing this I bet this is a trauma symptom even if the research doesn't know it yet. Your skin looks amazing by the way. I appreciate your work! Happy Thanksgiving.
My first crash happened because of my family. I watched them trying to hide how everything was falling apart. I didn't start to come out of that for nearly thirty years. Now they gaslight me about it. They didn't tell me to sabotage my potential but they left me wondering in silence.
This was super helpful for me, thank you! I crashed 2x on "being a youtuber" (haven't done anything on socials for about 3 yrs now...) and I also realized in an opposite way, I am getting several friends encouraging me, with high praise - yet it feels like pressure to me, and i am fighting myself. Wait, no... I "want" to do it, but I have some sort of ridiculous thing deep inside that is pushing against "them." (Like an oppositional defiant disorder? hmm.) This is DEFINITELY a trauma reaction. 😁 I'm sure you have a video on this... Checking...
Thanks for sharing. As a screenwriter I took this message to heart knowing that I’m working on following my calling, and it’s tough and I often crash but I’m working on it. Thanks for helping. Oh and how can I find this film?
Hi, Anna and Team! I would really love to see the movie ❤ I apologize in advance if I'm being invasive by asking that, but I'd love to see your early work, both the movie and the book. As someone who works with video and text, it would be so inspiring to me to see this snapshot of you succeeding even when you were, I suppose, experiencing unhealed CPTSD. And, who knows, our support here might be a powerful reparative experience for you, too? I know I'd cheer these efforts all the way!! And, no matter what you decide, congratulations on your inspiring work over here!
YES. My sentiments exactly Anna. Polished or not, I'm sure both are brilliant, beautiful works filled with authenticity and heart, just like these videos are!
OMG. What an aha moment. I think now that some of my lack of inner power is the crash side of things. I never got any momentum in my life. I love routine and the DP. Perhaps, at some point, I will have a well of sustainable inner power. That is my hope.
Diabetes is ptsd in itself and a lot of abuse causes diabetes -- it adds a lot of pressure because the challenge to 'keep it at bay or reverse it' when you have ptsd and are perfectionist from perfectionist family, AND the healthcare system when you work for it, no mistakes allowed, no questions can be asked, etc....hero until a zero, etc. It's a LOT.
I didn't have trama until I was 17-21. Im not sure if I qualify. I have about 5 or 6 great productive days a year. Then i was thinking about all the projects i started and never finished. I think i have about 400... But I'm trying to get caught up. ❤
Set you time goal half an hour before the actual time you need to be somewhere and stick to it. Don't suck yourself into, well, I REALLY have and extra half hour. Tell yourself that other people are depending on you being there when you say you will be. If you are late, it backs everything up and you are being rude to all those people who have to wait because you were 10 minutes late. It works for me.
@@mariahiggins-burke4295 Thanks. I've done that in the past until my body adjusts to the deception. Then I couldn't do that anymore. Years later, I recently tried it again, and it now works again.
So, how do we know when things are due to trauma and not a mental health condition? Or do they play into each other/overlap? Hope that makes sense, love your videos Anna💚😊
They do overlap sometimes. You may want to watch this video (if you'd like to learn more about overlapping symptoms of CPTSD and autism): ua-cam.com/video/l51r0MKbxTc/v-deo.html Nika@TeamFairy
Writing is a beautiful thing! I encourage you to try Anna's free course, The Daily Practice. It can help you re-regulate by processing fears and resentment through writing and meditation. Maybe this will be a stepping stone to getting back to your writing? Give it a try, if you haven't already: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice Nika@TeamFairy
Would you say that seasonal circadian cycles could also be a factor? Also, are you saying that although we may have confronted and understood our childhood trauma, we still live as if we are still being traumatized? TIA
*Take my free Daily Practice course: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice
*Join my Membership and access my private online community: bit.ly/CCF-Membership
*Visit my website at crappychildhoodfairy.com
*Order my new book RE-REGULATED here: bit.ly/3XiLsj2
*Have a question for me to answer on UA-cam? Write me here: bit.ly/CCF_Letters
My whole life I’ve lived for glimpses of joy & productivity & creativity in between chasms of nothingness filled with trauma, worthlessness, & mood swings…
That’s me as well. And when I’m in my joy and productivity, I think I’m FINALLY getting better. Then the next day hits and I realize I’m not
@ exactly. It feels like I’m going to make it this time & sometimes (a lot) my partner behaves in a way that doesn’t support my good periods and they take me down, knowing they’re taking away my joy to get my attention back on them.
Oh gosh. For years I thought it was just me. I did everything I could to hide it. I would come home from my full time job and collapse on my bed. Nothing was left for my family or joy. Now I'm retired and thanks to this channel I'm doing much better.
Agreed
@@samuel-no8ypsame😢
This behavior pattern doesn't really describe me. Rather, I grossly underestimate how much time and effort something takes to accomplish, like moving to an apartment while I'm working, emptying a self storage unit, renting a van to transport my belongings, etc. I often miscalculate by 50% in time, labor, etc. Afterward, I have to shift back to my work and routine. It could take me weeks and months to unpack. This is not about Time Management but never developing an appreciation for what my time is worth, lacking the funds to get to the finish line.
This is why I avoid things/orders with deadline. It dysregulates me, affect my autism and ADHD, procrastination ensues, I overperform at thr last minute and spend the next two days to reregulate myself. It's very exhausting!
Exactly this ❤
Same here ❤❤❤
Yes, me too ♡! :( ...❤️🙏
Yep
I prefer things with a set deadline otherwise I won't do it at all
“Get back on your path and make it sustainable!” I love you!
My childhood was trauma and my entire adult life as well! I'm traumatized daily! Single Moms are forever. I have a list of health problems from all the stress and exhaustion.
Are we twins? 💜
I’m your triplet….same here.
I have three daughters. My first identical twins. I struggle to feel joyful when chaos is everywhere around me being three humans life coach!
OK we are Quads!! Wow
Yep, I’m in this club too
I was just starting to get a grip on some of this stuff through watching these videos after my therapist at the time told me about CPTSD and how my daily life was being so impacted. Then a I found out I was pregnant with my son who was born in September. I was extra motivated to figure this shit out so I could be the best mom I could be and not pass down this generational trauma. My son died unexpectedly 12 days after he was born. It was such a traumatic experience finding my perfectly healthy baby just gone. Since then I’m in the deepest slump I’ve ever been in. I don’t know how to keep living. So I’m back here watching your videos. I forgot how much peace it brought me just hearing things laid out in such an easy to digest way. Thank you for all you do.
Oh my goodness, AshlyAnn I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of your baby boy. I had just finished listening to this video and was scrolling through the comments when I read yours...I am sure you are going through a very difficult time. The Crappy Childhood Fairy videos have always been a comfort for me as well during my hard days. Sending love your way, I truly hope for much peace for you. Keep learning and taking in the good knowledge to reprogram our brains that will give us strength.
OMG, I'm so very sorry. I can't imagine. I wish for you all the love and support in the world for this impossibly difficult time you're going through. ❤
I'm so sorry. Sending you love. 💗💗💗💗
There is nothing I can say to make this better for you, but I will say I am so very sorry.
@AshlyAnn91, how heartbreaking. I'm so very sorry. Hearing that these videos comfort you makes me want to go make some videos as best I can. Thank you for sharing with us what you're going through. Perhaps I'll see you on a Zoom call soon?
Yes jealous, insecure people will try to knock you down because they see a weakness...that you don't believe in yourself. I still come across this but the more I heal I can stand my ground and put my energy back into what I was doing, saying ect. The CCF is an amazing person to have figured this out, heal and go on to help others! She helped me immensely, when no one fully understood what people who experienced childhood trauma really went through. I thought I was alone! Forever grateful CCF!❤
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We're so glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy
❤❤❤i can't agree
More .
I'm beginning to think maybe it's not AuDHA maybe it's c-ptsd? They have such similar patterns. Thank you so much and - I'm sure you were under 500K last time I noticed and now WOW! 904K subs. Well done you what a success x Very happy for you x You help so many people understand their messy brains, thank you from the bottom of my heart x
Yup, could be. Especially if you were diagnosed in adulthood as a woman. The healthcare system just doesn't know what to do with people who have experienced past trauma so they pop a label on it and suggest meds.
It can be both 🤷🏻♂️
It makes sense to me. As a child it was either a good day (when my father was sober and kind) or it was a horrible day (when my father was abusive). Some periods, months and even years were relatively stable. And some were just pure chaos. I lived like that for seventeen years. So. Now I have internalized exactly what you say, Anna.
This explains why I stopped doing art after several shows of my work several years ago. At one show they had a comment book. Someone wrote a terrible criticism that pierced my heart. I ignored the positive comments. It had taken me years of perseverance to get the courage to get to the level of work I was doing. I know comments-good or bad-mean nothing unless they give you practical information. I let this get to me. Now I’m crawling back out again slowly. I don’t blame the commentator. It came from within.
@@lillianbarker4292 yes, but the critic wrote the thing that caused you to take yourself down. I have to force myself to look for ways to turn my attention to the people that like my work. Those are the ones that see you & like you the way you are.
I’m sorry to read this happened to you. Keep taking steps for you, continue to practice self compassion. I’m excited for your art. The world needs your creativity 👊🏽
It's NEVER a good idea to criticize harshly or cruelly, no matter how much you think they may deserve it, which I'm sure you didn't. LOTS of angry frustrated wannabe artists turned critics out there. So very sorry this happened to you.
Oh, please don't let the negative one keep you down! No artist, writer, etc., will please everyone! A mystery writer will bore a romance writer, and so on!
@ thank you-you’re right!
Mine was light at first. Lots of work small crashes here and there. Then it went to day long crashes. Then weeks. Then months. And one year i completely gave up. I felt extreme shame and guilt but i felt hollow and unable to try. Finally i snapped out of it. And now in my humming along phase, im seeing a therapist and working through trauma.
I relate to that. I'm 53 and nearly a year I've felt flat and pointless, desperate for it to shift, it will for a day or 2 then I slip back. Glad you're humming now, my hum will return soon..
Our systems crash because we are exhausted. Our tolerance through our nerve systems is very short-fused.
This explains so much! I worked for 28 years in that environment! Your boss was afraid that you would be successful and take his job, that is why he told you that you could not work there and write. I usually ran into that with female bosses, not male bosses.
ANNA, I was cleaning up in the kitchen, and your story of 18 years" sabotage and working for that monster boss moved me so much I have taken off my cleaning gloves just to write this comment! I kind of did a similar thing with my poetry. I feel my poems are.unwanted. But in the depths of my being I know they are extraordinary. I just felt such an epiphany of realization hearing you. But before that I feel such empathy and compassion and love for you!! May God bless you. And THANK YOU! ❤
duno if this is a cptsd manifestation, but i would hold a grudge against that boss for 18 years, stuck in unforgiveness, while continuing to sabotage myself and not advance 🙈 im very thankful you made this channel; your way with words is so healing 🙏🏻
I still hold a grudge against a boss for 22 years it stops me from doing things because it wrecked my confidence.
I blamed a college coach like that - still hold a grudge so much so that when their ego got them knocked down more than a few pegs I felt better. They earned every bit of it - If I have to be held to a karmic standard I feel like we all should
I also struggle with resentment, sometimes it bubbles up and it's almost like it's happening again right now, all the waves of emotion.. EFT is a useful aand brilliant tool if you have a moment during a resentful reemergence..it can diffuse all the intensity very quickly.
omg, so on the spot, i blame myself a lot for this
This explains the pattern that has persisted throughout my life ~ I’ve never heard anything that comes closer to my own lived experience. Having always looked through the lens of a mental health diagnosis, minus the contribution of CPTSD (till recently), I remained perplexed that my symptoms were being managed without any significant change in my “take on the world/now crash” ride. This video had me tearing up and nodding my head in recognition. Thank you, Anna!! You are amazing 💕🕊️
Thank you for watching! Glad the video was helpful.
Nika@TeamFairy
Im in a really bad low/non productive/procrastinating phase. I go through phases where im extremely productive, usually to the detriment of my social life and relationships, and that can last months to a year. But then I go through phases where I can't get myself to do anything productive at all, outside of my work and exercise routines (I work in service industry and I want to focus more on my creative hobbies to turn them into a career). It's a tough cycle because the harder I am on myself for not getting shit done or being focused enough, the more I want to distract myself and not do those things.
Be kind to yourself... It's really hard ...it's something we need to learn...practice.... We all can do it!
I disassociate myself from the crop I need to be doing around me right now It's really hurting me. I do not find joy in doing it alone. Maybe if I had someone just to sit with me I could do it I don't know I'm not motivated I don't care I need to get rid of these clothes and some stuff that I want to get rid of. It's a yucky state of mind and heart and soul
@@sandytthomas2667i have heard ppl
with Adhd need someone to be around them even if just sitting there to feel
motivated
Whew! This really spoke to me. I’ve been living in this state for almost 6 months now - and off-and-on for…well, forever. What stood out to me was the “big project” bit because you’re right: I often step right up to my edge, then push it a little too far, and WHAM! I crash. Thank you for this insight. And about routine (which I tend to resist). Very helpful.
@@dddilworth12 I work hard to finish something(s) because I know that other shoe is going to drop & the first half of every good Period is spent cleaning up what I let go of put off during the dark period leading up.
I am still so immediately triggered by criticism or perceived criticism. It's hard to forgive myself. But I will. I know that I can do that. I know that I can keep getting better. Thanks to this channel and Pete Walker's book and other resources, I know that I will keep getting better. And that everyone else w CPTSD can too ❤
Criticism without good feedback is from satan to stop you...
You can do it! Glad you are here!
Nika@TeamFairy
This video keeps getting more accurate the more I listen to it. I'm moving towards something new. the crash is real. It's fucking up alot for me. Self sabotage, I'm very good at that.
I just needed to tell you how very helpful this video has been to me. I've done a lot of therapy, and am a therapist myself, yet sometimes it takes a lot for something to "hit me" like this video did. You explained it so well. Many many thanks.
I laughed so many times during this video because it’s so, so true. I know exactly what you’re talking about! And sure, I suppose I could cry about it or rant about it or get all-the way-under-the-covers about it, but for right here, right now, I got to laugh about how wonderfully imperfect I am and how my journey of recovery continues, with its ups and downs and occasional bleeps.
Thank you, as always, for sharing your experience, strength and hope (I, too, was an Alanoner for about 12 years, and it definitely helped save my life and restore my sanity), and for continuing to forge a path for those of us who care to follow.
Oh, and I hope that many, many more people, especially therapists, counselors, psychologists, psychiatrists, etc, learn how CPTSD with its ups and downs, can look a lot like bipolar disorder. I never had this misdiagnosis, thankfully, but I’d bet some people have.
Yes, I did get this misdiagnosis, and am on a crap ton of meds that caused me to gain well over 100 lbs. An anti-anxiety medication probably would have done the trick, but I got put on the heavy duty sedating meds. Now I have high cholesterol, at high risk for developing diabetes, and am desperately trying to lose weight.
OMG...I am in tears watching this! You just described my life!! And Im 54 now 😞😞. I so hope your advice can now help me change these negative and self sabotaging behaviours and patterns....🤞🤞🤞.
Thank you so much
Glad you are here!
Nika@TeamFairy
Thank you for the story repost.
When I heard it before, I understood completely. Yet, this time, I grieved and consoled my old self.
I was run over by a jealous colleague & a terrible friend. I respected both to be my mentors. I quit the job, trying to desperately get into academia. I may not have made it yet, but I have moved on.
Thank you for giving me the moment of realisation ❤
Thank you so much for your shares, support and love ✨️💖
Thank you for being a part of our community :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Idk... it's been so long since I have ever been in a routine. I have so many physical ailments that I spend my days reacting. I wake up, and usually, after a trip to the bathroom... my first thought is, "What hurts the most?" And I spend most of my day just putting bandaids over whatever screams the loudest. I don't think it's that I don't want a routine, but if I force those expectations onto myself, I just feel guilty, and then I feel physically worse. I don't make promises, and I don't set goals because my life is so inconsistent. I've thought about setting a routine around my pill box because that noisy little sucker is pretty hard to ignore, but there's still times I slam the alarm off and don't take the pills because I might get too tired from them and get nothing done. I've recently diagnosed myself with ADHD & high functioning autism and I get accused of using it as an "excuse," but it is quite the opposite. Now, I don't just hate myself for my shortcomings... I know there are answers & other people have gone through it, too. I know rewiring your brain takes a long time, and I am trying to be patient with myself. The hardest part seems to be, "I know I have been doing this wrong, and I need to do this to fix it." My mother didn't allow room for failure. I'm not sure why I ever thought it was logical to get it right the first time. I took guitar lessons at age 5, and no matter how I would complain about the pain, she'd just say I need to build up callouses and "practice makes perfect!" I really wanted to play piano. Then by age 13, I wanted to play the drums in band. My mom said, "Girls don't play drums!" So, to spite her, I quit playing guitar as well. Plus, the fact that my guitar teacher said, "She's got so much her own style, she could probably become a professional!" And I thought, "Oh, Dear God, no! It's going to get worse!" What do I want for myself? Actually, it is very similar to what you do, ANNA. I want to help people and find a better love than I have ever known... even if that is a support group. I signed up for your information once, but my guess is you asked for money? I'm on disability and can hardly get by as is plus, I don't have much hope for our future economy. God bless!
A friend recently shared you with me. Yhank you for breaking all this down and explaining it
Welcome to our community :) -Calista@TeamFairy
@CrappyChildhoodFairy explains so much and answers those why's and being different
Thank you, Making My Bright Sunny Adulthood Fairy!
Thank you for this right when I needed it so greatly!
Going to finish listening to modulating the ups and downs and see what emotional blockades I can overcome and defeat today!
I've never been able to explain this disregulation. It's so me everything you just said...omgosh!
what I don’t understand with this channel’s content is why I can actually identify of these problems in my daily life (struggle). Eventhough I have not experienced any severe trauma.
unfortunately for us trauma doesn't have to be "severe" to be impactful or lasting. At least we are here and learning
Your body’s interpretation of trauma can be very different from your intellects interpretation.
Still the question remains why there is difference in interpretation.
That there is, also means that some people who dealed with severe traumas could for what ever reason heal better from it than some others with less severe traumas.
So some point in healing seems to be less accessible for some people regardless of the degree of severity they were facing.
What is or are these factors? And there is no plausible answer but things like „character“ and character - what is that? But for sure a concept that, basically, sells.
However there are circumstances in everyone’s life which for sure give an explanation.
Oh how blessed you are thank God every day because experiencing trauma changes your life and not in a good way so we so grateful and so thankful and keep living the good life. Maybe you’re one of the few lucky blessed ones and that is something to be valued and appreciated and letting our creator know that you’re so grateful for the blessing that you received in your time on this earth.
@
I never said that but well, one can not expect any serious conversation in the comment section.
Which is absolutely sad and toxic by the way.
Holy crap, this was so me! Just about every milestone I ever achieved in my career was followed by a horrific crash and burn or a slow dying on the vine. Thank you for affirming that I'm not crazy, or alone.
CCF is reaffirming on so many levels.
Totally true. These are some great insights and helpful tips, Anna, to "walking the path" as you call it, being present with our thoughts, emotions, and responding to needs instead of reacting to situations (oftentimes that are out of our control). Brain health is so important. Thank you. Your stories about other's sabotaging your efforts is a particularly painful part of the 'unveiling' process during our recovery efforts. The harmful actions, seemingly trivial at the time, of others or ourselves can derail a promising career or even shorten lives. Damaged people are everywhere in need of either a hug or "a slap in the face" (aha! moment) to keep humanity going. I appreciate these aha! moments you share in your videos.
I grew up with parents that were physically and sexually abusive alcoholics that abused myself and my brothers and sisters. I managed to suppress it till I was 30. I am now 62 and have been under psychiatric care of one doctor or another constantly since. Been in and out of a psych ward 6 times. I have often gone through what you described.
My opinion is that most of that field don't really help people but just want to make them functional for society again. When you haven't got help you were at the wrong place.
I stopped doing everything.I have two degrees and claim sickness benefit so many people have told me I am crap and I can't do anything right .My mother is highly critical of me .She still makes remarks about how clumsy and forgetful I am.I am in total crash I won't even socialise with freinds and I have basically been in bed for 3 years .I really need to get out of it.I just wish I could go for a walk in nature .This is the longest crash and I really need to get out of it.Thanks for this video ut has opened my eyes❤
Hello. 1st. My heart and soul hurts for you. You do NOT deserve to live this way. I have had episodes like this that lasted three days and that was grueling and draining and degrading and awful and I can’t imagine what you’re going through doing this to yourself for three years!!!!please dear friend I beg of you to get help. 🛐❤️🛐Please see someone or talk to someone -you’ve got to make some changes. Your life is so much more worth, laying in a bed. you are so loved. You probably don’t even realize how many people are hurting because they feel so helpless in trying to change you but only you can do it. I know this for a fact!! my heart is with you. God is with you. I am praying for you and I really really hope that you get some help and make some changes. I love you, dear friend. 💕
It sounds hard but we're glad you are here. It's not easy to make the first step to healing, but a walk in nature sounds like a REALLY good idea! I strongly encourage you to do so. You may also want to try Anna's free Daily Practice course. It is a simple technique that can be done by anyone anywhere and it has already helped many people around the world. Check it out, it can help you too!: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice
Nika@TeamFairy
Another great video! Thanks for the reminder that we don’t heal in isolation and for the permission/reminder to take the time to re-regulate so that we can get things done. I know all this but sometimes you just gotta hear it again! I like your analogy to diabetes…so true.
Your so brillant I am so glad I've found your channel. I'm in tears typing this... I have so many issues and want to change but don't know how or even what to change. Thank you.❤❤
You're in the right place and we're all so glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy
A year of no batteries followed by three hours of zap
😅
Omg this is really speaking to me. I can relate so much to the crushes and low level depression/inner frustration when working in jobs that I KNEW were not meant for me in the past.
Glad you're here! -Calista@TeamFairy
Awesome! Thanks for dropping this!!! 🙌
Glad you're here! -Calista@TeamFairy
Thank you so very much for sharing your experiences with trauma crashing. You have inspired and encouraged me and I really appreciate you so much. God bless you dear.
All of your videos have been so helpful to me since I started watching about 2 years ago...I have to say that your most recent videos have been immensely timely and helpful with where I'm at in life. Recently I've struggled with productivity as it relates to personal tasks and pursuing hobbies to fill my free time. This really helps to reframe and rethink my thoughts of feeling lazy or like I'm not good at anything. Even worse, when I've been feeling dysregulated I start into this thinking pattern that tells me I have no identity. I have put off using the free Daily Practice course but this video just gave me the push to finally do that in my extra free time I'll have this week with the holiday. Thank you so much for your work and providing these invaluable resources to all of us.
We're all rooting for you! -Calista@TeamFairy
omfg, just watched your video, this is exactly me. Ive known for a while that I suffer from
CPTSD, from severe child hood abuse. Emotional, physical beatings regularly, religious, sexual, intellectual.
Ive just recently learned about the freezing, now just learned about how the trama makes your productivity comes in burst. Ive seen it so many times in my life. Its like running around life being in a straight jacket all the time. I have seen that I will set myself up for failure, when I know I have so much more inside of me.
Perfect timing with the perfect topic, which matches reality, so perfectly, ye,t again !!
It is like a form of cocooning.
💯 yassss
Wow thank you for sharing your story. I hope you will never tolerate a crappy boss again. This video is very true of me and my accomplishments. Ive always felt like my success has been start/stop. I really dont think there’s a cure though! Nobody gets saved from this, when their parents were rotten? Modulating my crashes, ok. I think i do that, but i still get harmed by those crashes that are very real and keep coming.
Wow!! I thought i was bipolar because of my ups and downs, but it's wasnt my mood it was my energy. I was chasing down an autoimmune disease, nope. Its unresolved trauma!
Wow wow wow. I'm shocked but happy I found an answer and solution. ❤ my gratitude is immeasurable.
Me as well. To add to mine is the migraine that comes with the crash after a day of feeling great.
You’ve just pulled the veil on my life 😮
Amazing.
I’m going to show 8:00 to my daughter. I’ve been stiffed over and over when I believed someone when they said I couldn’t do something.
Great insight. You have described the pattern of my entire life, and while I am HSP who struggles with C-PTSD, I did not tie that to the ups and downs in productivity until now. This video represents a particularly high moment in productivity. ;-)
That explains a lot. OMG, I always wondered why I stopped doing things when I reach new heights; so annoying. Thank you for the tips.
Oh, I so relate to this.
Glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Sounds to me that those two persons weaponised their jealousy on you. And to state someone else and others said it is proper mean.
I thought in my mind your 'Unsolicited advice' tic tok vid was absolute genius and now I know that you are skillful filmaker and that makes sense.
I enjoy writing screenplays and realised through an awful horrific experiance of someone who was a Cannes winning film producer I will never get in industry and if I ever did I would never clwant to work with such narcasistic individuals Ive given that dream up completely years ago. Did nothing more and now I decided to write novels instead. I struggle like you did with falling down but trying harder than ever to get it done. Thankyou for your awesome video that I know will benefit so many of us.😊
Thank you for sharing your experience with us. Glad you are here!
Nika@TeamFairy
Oh boy am I familiar with this one. Your so spot on describing this I bet this is a trauma symptom even if the research doesn't know it yet. Your skin looks amazing by the way. I appreciate your work! Happy Thanksgiving.
A brilliant explanation
Keep going your helping me out of the holler.
Thank you, this is what I needed to hear!
This is my life now!!!!
Thank you for not giving up ❣️
You are a true inspiration to us all ❣️🩷🙏
Thank you for being a part of our community :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Your channel is life changing❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
So glad to hear it!
Nika@TeamFairy
Wow. Thank you. You literally described my life. I thought I was the only one.
My first crash happened because of my family. I watched them trying to hide how everything was falling apart. I didn't start to come out of that for nearly thirty years. Now they gaslight me about it. They didn't tell me to sabotage my potential but they left me wondering in silence.
This was super helpful for me, thank you! I crashed 2x on "being a youtuber" (haven't done anything on socials for about 3 yrs now...) and I also realized in an opposite way, I am getting several friends encouraging me, with high praise - yet it feels like pressure to me, and i am fighting myself. Wait, no... I "want" to do it, but I have some sort of ridiculous thing deep inside that is pushing against "them." (Like an oppositional defiant disorder? hmm.) This is DEFINITELY a trauma reaction. 😁 I'm sure you have a video on this... Checking...
Thanks for sharing. As a screenwriter I took this message to heart knowing that I’m working on following my calling, and it’s tough and I often crash but I’m working on it. Thanks for helping. Oh and how can I find this film?
That was actually extremely helpful! Thank you!
I'm so glad the video was helpful! -Calista@TeamFairy
Thank you for this 🌹
Thank you for being a part of our community :) -Calista@TeamFairy
17:17 "maybe even reverse it." I was adverse to medication at first but someone explained to me how it can help because of neuroplasticity.
Thanks for you and the message that goes out
Much needed, thank you ❤️
Hi, Anna and Team! I would really love to see the movie ❤
I apologize in advance if I'm being invasive by asking that, but I'd love to see your early work, both the movie and the book.
As someone who works with video and text, it would be so inspiring to me to see this snapshot of you succeeding even when you were, I suppose, experiencing unhealed CPTSD.
And, who knows, our support here might be a powerful reparative experience for you, too? I know I'd cheer these efforts all the way!!
And, no matter what you decide, congratulations on your inspiring work over here!
Me too! The movie❤
YES. My sentiments exactly Anna. Polished or not, I'm sure both are brilliant, beautiful works filled with authenticity and heart, just like these videos are!
OMG, that explains exactly what I couldnt explian or understand!!!! Wow!!!
Glad it was helpful!
Nika@TeamFairy
Thanks
Totally relate to this video. Totally relate.
Thank you so much for sharing this.
You're so welcome! Glad you've watched it!
Nika@TeamFairy
This is really helpful thanks
OMG. What an aha moment. I think now that some of my lack of inner power is the crash side of things. I never got any momentum in my life. I love routine and the DP. Perhaps, at some point, I will have a well of sustainable inner power. That is my hope.
We're all rooting for you! -Calista@TeamFairy
I struggle with this all of the time!! UGH 😢..
You're in the right place :) -Calista@TeamFairy
On point! On all levels. Thank you
That's so truth
Diabetes is ptsd in itself and a lot of abuse causes diabetes -- it adds a lot of pressure because the challenge to 'keep it at bay or reverse it' when you have ptsd and are perfectionist from perfectionist family, AND the healthcare system when you work for it, no mistakes allowed, no questions can be asked, etc....hero until a zero, etc. It's a LOT.
You are really, realy amazing. I love you. Thank you for your work
Thank you for being a part of our community :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Thanks for sharing
I thought I was the only one with real wicked people around me at work.
Nope. They're everywhere.
I can relate a lot of what’s happened to you
I didn't have trama until I was 17-21. Im not sure if I qualify. I have about 5 or 6 great productive days a year. Then i was thinking about all the projects i started and never finished. I think i have about 400...
But I'm trying to get caught up. ❤
I wish I knew how to be on time.
Set you time goal half an hour before the actual time you need to be somewhere and stick to it. Don't suck yourself into, well, I REALLY have and extra half hour. Tell yourself that other people are depending on you being there when you say you will be. If you are late, it backs everything up and you are being rude to all those people who have to wait because you were 10 minutes late. It works for me.
@@mariahiggins-burke4295 Thanks. I've done that in the past until my body adjusts to the deception. Then I couldn't do that anymore. Years later, I recently tried it again, and it now works again.
😲 this hit home so hard
So, how do we know when things are due to trauma and not a mental health condition? Or do they play into each other/overlap? Hope that makes sense, love your videos Anna💚😊
They do overlap sometimes. You may want to watch this video (if you'd like to learn more about overlapping symptoms of CPTSD and autism): ua-cam.com/video/l51r0MKbxTc/v-deo.html
Nika@TeamFairy
Thanks
Thank you for being a part of our community :) -Calista@TeamFairy
What about if you’re an artist and you do this? I hyper focus until I complete a project and then crash completely
Oh, this is me every week.. on a bit lower degree of difference between up and down but yes..😅
You're in the right place :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Kaliphos tissue salts are good for stress and energy
Do you recommend a particular brand ?
Any one 0:29
Story of my life!😢
You're in the right place :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Writing was my life. When my mother, who was the worst abuser and lived with me until I was 40, died. I have not written in 10 years.
Writing is a beautiful thing! I encourage you to try Anna's free course, The Daily Practice. It can help you re-regulate by processing fears and resentment through writing and meditation. Maybe this will be a stepping stone to getting back to your writing? Give it a try, if you haven't already: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice
Nika@TeamFairy
Thank you
Thank you for being a part of our community :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Would you say that seasonal circadian cycles could also be a factor? Also, are you saying that although we may have confronted and understood our childhood trauma, we still live as if we are still being traumatized? TIA
I can’t believe your boss undermined you like that. So toxic and destructive. It’s so wonderful that you persevered despite everything
Sure he did, putting down competition and turn it into advantage to him. Classic patriarchy. 😄
Yes!!!
a lot of this for me isnt even social but medical 😢