THIS is the book that was a GAME-CHANGER for me - always accommodating my life to live peacefully as an HSP, but always (I'm 59) for years and years saying "there is something wrong with my brain" NOW, I got my diagnosis thanks to reading THIS book, and I NO LONGER say "there is something wrong with my brain" NOW, I'm happy to say I'm Autistic and my brain works differently...these are my strengths..this is what I struggle with etc....VERY POIGNANT part of my life ❣❤🦄
My mom took me to a psychologist as a kid because while I was hitting milestones a lot faster than other kids, I was also suffering from panic attacks regularly and behaved oddly, the psychologist said I was a Highly Sensitive Person and I was later diagnosed with Autism as an adult. While I denied being HSP to myself for many years, thinking it made me weak, now it's a tool to understand and accommodate myself to different situations.
Ah the reading of autistic traits here was me nodding my head going "yes, yes, yeah kind of, yes, yes..." The problem can be that life is hard for EVERYONE especially in transition periods like puberty and growing into adulthood so how was I to say that I struggled more than my peers and the easy explanation was laziness, aloofness etc.
I am a male of the speices - an autistic one at that. The more I learn about my late diagnosis, the more I feel that my neurodivergent brain operates in a very female way. before this video I didn't know about the term HSP but I have been this all my life - I feel too much (I even momentarily felt sorry for Liz Truss when she resigned as British PM). I have suffered from mental health problems all my life too, my earliest memory is of feeling anxious in my cot. Like a lot of autistic women I was misdiagnosed with borderline personality disorder. I have accepted my suicide ideation will never leave me and take great comfort from knowing I can take control if I am brave enough. Being late diagnosed I have 'imposter syndrome' and continue to self-flagellate for being 'rubbish at life'. This video was a great comfort and I related to almost everything that was written....even though though it is aimed at neurodivergent women.
You're not alone. I'm in the same boat. Was later on in my life that I realized it... I never felt draw to "manly" stuff but forced myself to do it to fit in with my peers. Being hsp as a man is seen as a weakness in this society and not just another way to manifest in the world.
A lot of the research is also showing that people on the spectrum have vastly higher instance of being non binary (me), genderfluid and trans. Something like 30% higher than the NT population. So there's real science starting to back up the fact that our brain/gender don't operate the same way as allistic folks.
Wow I haven’t been able to sit down & read in a long time & people’s voices reading audible books irritates me too much, they have so much fake animation in their voices, I love how calming your voice is & how natural your reading is
I received an unreasonable amount of enjoyment from the color combo of your beanie and burnt orange lipstick ☺️ plus the birdsong was so lovely 💛 thank you for everything
Irene, thank you so much for bringing this book to my attention by creating this video. I will now have to go read it in its entirety. The list of traits, while I understand the feeling of disassociation you describe, stopped me completely in the middle of my morning routine. I was suddenly and unexpectedly overcome by emotion, and I am still trying to process what I was feeling. All I know at this point is that I immediately felt the urge to use this video as a tool to be able to describe my inner life to someone, which is something I struggle so very much to do.
I appreciate you. Am currently “self-diagnosing” and assessing myself, my childhood, and overall life and the many nuances and quirks (and difficulties) I have. You are helping me make sense of it all and giving me more sources and info to look into. My upmost thanks to you love \^~^/ 💗
In the criteria "Elaborating everything" really depicts my trait. I am Japanese and had calligraphy class once a week as a kid. All kids finished the pages of calligraphy practice within assigned time whereas I was about in the half way..... I was embarrassed needing to submitting unfinished practice notes. Is anybody with similar experiences?
In high school, I took a watercolor painting class and always found myself taking much longer than everyone else to finish my paintings. The teacher of that class commented on my report card that I worked carefully and as a result, always worked slowly. I don't think it's anything to feel bad about, though sometimes, it's necessary to hurry up to finally get a task done!
I'm also a slow and thorough, in most of the things i do. Sometimes it really makes me crazy when I should be fast (like in a work setting). I have blamed it on perfectionism. Is it also an autistic trait?
> 1:50 "30% of HSPs are extroverts" I think that's a curious way of phrasing it. Presumably the remaining 70% are introverts? But then if the author only explicitly mentions extroversion, that puts extroversion at the forefront of the reader's mind. It makes the reader think of extroversion in connection with HSPs. It does not (automatically) make the reader think of introversion in connection with HSPs, even though that's really the dominant part of the picture. [At least on my 70% assumption.] I may be wrong: maybe 30% are extroverts, 50% are in the middle with no clear leaning, and only 20% are introverts, and extroversion really _is_ the thing to associate with HSPs. Except wouldn't the non-distinct 50% middle _really_ be the thing to associate with HSPs? No matter how I slice that statement, I get funny results. I'm not saying the author is intentionally misleading, I just want to air my thoughts. Do you find it curious too? What do you make of it?
I do agree it could be worded better. This fact though helps in countering a possible stereotype that highly sensitive people are just another way to say introverts. At least, the original researcher, Dr. Elaine Aaron likes to make that fact clear in her lectures
Somehow, it didn’t strike me as odd. When I hear that 20% of the population is thought to be Highly Sensitive, my first reaction is there is no way that’s true. It can’t be that common because if it was, there’d be more people who relate to that experience and we wouldn’t be feeling so out of place. So when she said 30% of that population is extroverted, to me, it explained how a good chunk of HSPs don’t come across as highly sensitive. Because extroverts tend to seem more comfortable in social situations and busy environments. So maybe, that’s why the emphasis was placed on extroverts right after stating how common HSPs are.
This is very interesting that on-the-spectrum autists share many traits with highly sensitive persons and vice versa, autism sounds like a sub category of hsp. I need to investigate if I'm on the spectrum, some of my behaviours such as obsessions, absent minded state, lack of rationality, ingenuity, communication issues since early age brang me a lot of troubles with relationships. I don't see how it can be diagnosed. I've tried to adapt to the society only to get more suffering, poor judgement, rejection :/
Even though I am an hypersensitive person, I tend to choose difficult path for HSP in my life.... Of course this tendency just makes me get harder life experiences and burn out. I don't know why I am punishing myself like that....
WoW this resonates. I am recently diagnoses. And all the pieces fall into places. And my ex has called me out for a lot. Wich I am not! And as a women of 58 I never knew and understood my OWN needs. Just Because I was different from others . But this amazing lecture fits me.
I think I'm only ~1/3 autistic, or like adjacent to autistic & HSP. Can this be a thing? It's my scoring based on what I've read & learnt across online spaces, how many is relatable, how many helpful advices, what I realize the things I read about are indeed my traits & tendencies. The online test RAADS-R, I score ~100, it says avg suspected autists taken online there get ~140, while most neurotypical get
really? I‘ve read Raads r said that neurotypicals ranged from scoring low to 50, not higher whereas autists score from 50 (with 44 being apparently the lowest someone got) to the higher end. There were also studies saying the tests didnt qualify for correct assessment, Idk
I think I just met ME…. Seriously…. This is the beginning of a new understanding of my whole life . I just turned 60 and can breathe a little deeper knowing I am not “a mess” , I am not a mistake, I am my own normal. It’s just like having brown hair and wanting to be blonde like everyone else and judging myself as bad because I was born with brown hair. It’s not MY FAULT that “gentleman prefer blondes”… the world prefers blondes as well. Literally and metaphorically I have DYED my hair to be more blonde and feel I “Died” myself to be more BLAND. It stops now. Thank you.
I hear you! I have ash blonde/light brown hair and blue eyes. I dye my hair deep red to look more striking. And, I get we didn't choose how our brain was going to work, but it's still exhausting. It's a constant battle to keep a neutral and/or positive attitude.
I don’t agree that sarcasm is an ASD thing. In general, I feel sarcasm is self-aggrandizing and cruel at the expense of others, esp when used with children and ASD folks who have a hard time reading normal social cues let alone sarcastic ones. I was always so careful not to be sarcastic in my classes because it often upset and confused my ASD students (though several other teachers used a lot of sarcasm and thought it was funny-at others’ expense- and cool). Also I don’t see how “dry humor” is an ASD thing. Neither sarcasm nor dry humor has been a regular part of my ASD or in my ASD students.
I am AuDHD and a HSP and taking a intercontinental flight tomorrow. It's so awful and nothing I do to make it better ever helps. I feel so helpless and angry.
Hey, I hope the flight was alright 💗 My strategy for long flights is to wear a covid facemask so I don't smell people or food so strongly, noise cancelling headphones, something to cover my eyes if I want to (like a sleeping mask) and my own pillow from home. These tips were a GAMECHANGER for me. I really feel your struggle- intercontinental flights used to be my biggest nightmare and I always got sick from being so overwhelmed as a child.
@@pliena3240 The flight turned out ok actually because I wasn't crowded by anyone next to me but a transformer blew at the destination airport so I was stuck in customs for 4 hours while systems rebooted and the luggage was unloaded. That ended up being quite overwhelming, but this trip was not as bad as the last 👍
It's frustrating because some people say that an HSP is actually Autistic. I think the difference is that an HSP is limited to having heightened senses and that's it It's also annoying that people with Autism are often stereotyped, so because I don't fit the typical stereotypes,I am not seen as Autistic because I'm considered normal 🙄 I struggle with loud sounds, lights, smells.sometimes I'm so overwhelmed I end up crying or become exhausted. I am good at hiding this from people. people don't respect or understand me . I have all the signs of being an HSP, now what? I still have to face this noisy world 😭
No, please stop trying to force what you identify with onto others! HSP is it’s own category and I feel just as different from neurotypical people as I do from the Autistic community. While Autistic traits may include hyper-sensitive traits, it doesn’t relate the other way with many other traits - especially with social cues and relating, touch, and many other things. My primary issue is a hyper-attunement to other people’s nervous systems, energy, and even feeling and picking up others thought-forms. Basically, I’m an energetic sponge that causes me to need a lot of quiet down time, but I don’t relate to the same traits as Autistic people. My partner is mildly autistic - (his nephew is full-blown) - and our energetic traits are very different, with the exception of us both being different in our own ways. It shouldn’t be seen as a threat for there to be different categories of neurodivergence.
Thank you, you read this book beautifully. I went to buy this book but then read some of the reviews. As a male some reviews didn’t recommend it for men. Just wanted to know your thoughts is this book for anyone who is neurodivergent.
THIS is the book that was a GAME-CHANGER for me - always accommodating my life to live peacefully as an HSP, but always (I'm 59) for years and years saying "there is something wrong with my brain" NOW, I got my diagnosis thanks to reading THIS book, and I NO LONGER say "there is something wrong with my brain" NOW, I'm happy to say I'm Autistic and my brain works differently...these are my strengths..this is what I struggle with etc....VERY POIGNANT part of my life ❣❤🦄
Hi Jill, so did you identified as a HSP but then realised you were autistic? I am asking bc I think I’m there… 💖
Jealous. I'm still confused of myself.
(for now let's just say I'm 1/3 autistic, or adjacent autistic)
My mom took me to a psychologist as a kid because while I was hitting milestones a lot faster than other kids, I was also suffering from panic attacks regularly and behaved oddly, the psychologist said I was a Highly Sensitive Person and I was later diagnosed with Autism as an adult. While I denied being HSP to myself for many years, thinking it made me weak, now it's a tool to understand and accommodate myself to different situations.
There's just something about your voice that makes listening calming, even if I already know the content you're reading. Keep it up!
Ah the reading of autistic traits here was me nodding my head going "yes, yes, yeah kind of, yes, yes..." The problem can be that life is hard for EVERYONE especially in transition periods like puberty and growing into adulthood so how was I to say that I struggled more than my peers and the easy explanation was laziness, aloofness etc.
I am a male of the speices - an autistic one at that. The more I learn about my late diagnosis, the more I feel that my neurodivergent brain operates in a very female way.
before this video I didn't know about the term HSP but I have been this all my life - I feel too much (I even momentarily felt sorry for Liz Truss when she resigned as British PM). I have suffered from mental health problems all my life too, my earliest memory is of feeling anxious in my cot. Like a lot of autistic women I was misdiagnosed with borderline personality disorder. I have accepted my suicide ideation will never leave me and take great comfort from knowing I can take control if I am brave enough.
Being late diagnosed I have 'imposter syndrome' and continue to self-flagellate for being 'rubbish at life'. This video was a great comfort and I related to almost everything that was written....even though though it is aimed at neurodivergent women.
You're not alone. I'm in the same boat. Was later on in my life that I realized it... I never felt draw to "manly" stuff but forced myself to do it to fit in with my peers. Being hsp as a man is seen as a weakness in this society and not just another way to manifest in the world.
A lot of the research is also showing that people on the spectrum have vastly higher instance of being non binary (me), genderfluid and trans. Something like 30% higher than the NT population. So there's real science starting to back up the fact that our brain/gender don't operate the same way as allistic folks.
Wow I haven’t been able to sit down & read in a long time & people’s voices reading audible books irritates me too much, they have so much fake animation in their voices, I love how calming your voice is & how natural your reading is
I received an unreasonable amount of enjoyment from the color combo of your beanie and burnt orange lipstick ☺️ plus the birdsong was so lovely 💛 thank you for everything
I can't stress enough how much I LOVE LOVE LOVE the birdsong xxx
I agree! It’s just loud enough to be a calming background sound but not so loud as to distract me. ❤
Irene, thank you so much for bringing this book to my attention by creating this video. I will now have to go read it in its entirety.
The list of traits, while I understand the feeling of disassociation you describe, stopped me completely in the middle of my morning routine. I was suddenly and unexpectedly overcome by emotion, and I am still trying to process what I was feeling.
All I know at this point is that I immediately felt the urge to use this video as a tool to be able to describe my inner life to someone, which is something I struggle so very much to do.
I appreciate you. Am currently “self-diagnosing” and assessing myself, my childhood, and overall life and the many nuances and quirks (and difficulties) I have. You are helping me make sense of it all and giving me more sources and info to look into. My upmost thanks to you love \^~^/ 💗
Having found your channel, I feel so appreciative. Calming easy-to-listen to reading.
Thank you!
In the criteria "Elaborating everything" really depicts my trait. I am Japanese and had calligraphy class once a week as a kid. All kids finished the pages of calligraphy practice within assigned time whereas I was about in the half way..... I was embarrassed needing to submitting unfinished practice notes. Is anybody with similar experiences?
In high school, I took a watercolor painting class and always found myself taking much longer than everyone else to finish my paintings. The teacher of that class commented on my report card that I worked carefully and as a result, always worked slowly. I don't think it's anything to feel bad about, though sometimes, it's necessary to hurry up to finally get a task done!
I'm also a slow and thorough, in most of the things i do. Sometimes it really makes me crazy when I should be fast (like in a work setting). I have blamed it on perfectionism. Is it also an autistic trait?
> 1:50 "30% of HSPs are extroverts"
I think that's a curious way of phrasing it. Presumably the remaining 70% are introverts?
But then if the author only explicitly mentions extroversion, that puts extroversion at the forefront of the reader's mind. It makes the reader think of extroversion in connection with HSPs. It does not (automatically) make the reader think of introversion in connection with HSPs, even though that's really the dominant part of the picture. [At least on my 70% assumption.]
I may be wrong: maybe 30% are extroverts, 50% are in the middle with no clear leaning, and only 20% are introverts, and extroversion really _is_ the thing to associate with HSPs. Except wouldn't the non-distinct 50% middle _really_ be the thing to associate with HSPs?
No matter how I slice that statement, I get funny results.
I'm not saying the author is intentionally misleading, I just want to air my thoughts.
Do you find it curious too? What do you make of it?
It could have been worded better.
I do agree it could be worded better. This fact though helps in countering a possible stereotype that highly sensitive people are just another way to say introverts. At least, the original researcher, Dr. Elaine Aaron likes to make that fact clear in her lectures
Somehow, it didn’t strike me as odd. When I hear that 20% of the population is thought to be Highly Sensitive, my first reaction is there is no way that’s true. It can’t be that common because if it was, there’d be more people who relate to that experience and we wouldn’t be feeling so out of place. So when she said 30% of that population is extroverted, to me, it explained how a good chunk of HSPs don’t come across as highly sensitive. Because extroverts tend to seem more comfortable in social situations and busy environments. So maybe, that’s why the emphasis was placed on extroverts right after stating how common HSPs are.
Hi Irene, you’ve convinced me to get this book (actually the audiobook version of it’s available). I really enjoy your channel. ❤
Also, I’m a Leo.
I’m definitely HSP & neurodivergent… now I’m wondering, could I be also autistic. Hmm
This is very interesting that on-the-spectrum autists share many traits with highly sensitive persons and vice versa, autism sounds like a sub category of hsp.
I need to investigate if I'm on the spectrum, some of my behaviours such as obsessions, absent minded state, lack of rationality, ingenuity, communication issues since early age brang me a lot of troubles with relationships. I don't see how it can be diagnosed. I've tried to adapt to the society only to get more suffering, poor judgement, rejection :/
You are such a beautiful comforting perso you are intelligent person awesome video
Thank you reading it because i struggle take anything i read in but could listen all day to you read thank u
Even though I am an hypersensitive person, I tend to choose difficult path for HSP in my life.... Of course this tendency just makes me get harder life experiences and burn out. I don't know why I am punishing myself like that....
WoW this resonates. I am recently diagnoses. And all the pieces fall into places. And my ex has called me out for a lot. Wich I am not! And as a women of 58 I never knew and understood my OWN needs. Just Because I was different from others . But this amazing lecture fits me.
I think I'm only ~1/3 autistic, or like adjacent to autistic & HSP. Can this be a thing?
It's my scoring based on what I've read & learnt across online spaces, how many is relatable, how many helpful advices, what I realize the things I read about are indeed my traits & tendencies.
The online test RAADS-R, I score ~100, it says avg suspected autists taken online there get ~140, while most neurotypical get
really? I‘ve read Raads r said that neurotypicals ranged from scoring low to 50, not higher whereas autists score from 50 (with 44 being apparently the lowest someone got) to the higher end. There were also studies saying the tests didnt qualify for correct assessment, Idk
you're either autistic or you're not, but not all autistics have the same intensity of specific traits or even all traits so you could be autistic
I think I just met ME…. Seriously…. This is the beginning of a new understanding of my whole life . I just turned 60 and can breathe a little deeper knowing I am not “a mess” , I am not a mistake, I am my own normal. It’s just like having brown hair and wanting to be blonde like everyone else and judging myself as bad because I was born with brown hair. It’s not MY FAULT that “gentleman prefer blondes”… the world prefers blondes as well. Literally and metaphorically I have DYED my hair to be more blonde and feel I “Died” myself to be more BLAND. It stops now. Thank you.
I hear you! I have ash blonde/light brown hair and blue eyes. I dye my hair deep red to look more striking. And, I get we didn't choose how our brain was going to work, but it's still exhausting. It's a constant battle to keep a neutral and/or positive attitude.
I’m reading this now.
I’ve been wanting to read this book! I think I have to buy it.
I don’t agree that sarcasm is an ASD thing. In general, I feel sarcasm is self-aggrandizing and cruel at the expense of others, esp when used with children and ASD folks who have a hard time reading normal social cues let alone sarcastic ones. I was always so careful not to be sarcastic in my classes because it often upset and confused my ASD students (though several other teachers used a lot of sarcasm and thought it was funny-at others’ expense- and cool).
Also I don’t see how “dry humor” is an ASD thing. Neither sarcasm nor dry humor has been a regular part of my ASD or in my ASD students.
NO BRIGHT LIGHTS. Not now. Not ever.
I am AuDHD and a HSP and taking a intercontinental flight tomorrow. It's so awful and nothing I do to make it better ever helps. I feel so helpless and angry.
Hey, I hope the flight was alright 💗
My strategy for long flights is to wear a covid facemask so I don't smell people or food so strongly, noise cancelling headphones, something to cover my eyes if I want to (like a sleeping mask) and my own pillow from home.
These tips were a GAMECHANGER for me.
I really feel your struggle- intercontinental flights used to be my biggest nightmare and I always got sick from being so overwhelmed as a child.
@@pliena3240 The flight turned out ok actually because I wasn't crowded by anyone next to me but a transformer blew at the destination airport so I was stuck in customs for 4 hours while systems rebooted and the luggage was unloaded. That ended up being quite overwhelming, but this trip was not as bad as the last 👍
It's frustrating because some people say that an HSP is actually Autistic. I think the difference is that an HSP is limited to having heightened senses and that's it
It's also annoying that people with Autism are often stereotyped, so because I don't fit the typical stereotypes,I am not seen as Autistic because I'm considered normal 🙄
I struggle with loud sounds, lights, smells.sometimes I'm so overwhelmed I end up crying or become exhausted. I am good at hiding this from people. people don't respect or understand me .
I have all the signs of being an HSP, now what? I still have to face this noisy world 😭
That's because HSP is just an ableist way to say "autistic".
No, please stop trying to force what you identify with onto others! HSP is it’s own category and I feel just as different from neurotypical people as I do from the Autistic community. While Autistic traits may include hyper-sensitive traits, it doesn’t relate the other way with many other traits - especially with social cues and relating, touch, and many other things. My primary issue is a hyper-attunement to other people’s nervous systems, energy, and even feeling and picking up others thought-forms. Basically, I’m an energetic sponge that causes me to need a lot of quiet down time, but I don’t relate to the same traits as Autistic people. My partner is mildly autistic - (his nephew is full-blown) - and our energetic traits are very different, with the exception of us both being different in our own ways. It shouldn’t be seen as a threat for there to be different categories of neurodivergence.
Hi can you talk about autism and fixed ideas, I feel like, despite being undiagnosed, that I am very closed-off and unwilling to try new thing.
love your channel ❤️
Thank you, you read this book beautifully. I went to buy this book but then read some of the reviews. As a male some reviews didn’t recommend it for men. Just wanted to know your thoughts is this book for anyone who is neurodivergent.
It does emphasize women’s experiences a lot but I think it’s still an amazing book and can be read in a non-binary pov
Women read books about male experiences all the time. Go ahead and read it if you think it might apply to you.
8:40 * reactions to xyz. . From youth exposed to stress/ environmental or family violence*
5:18 I relate to most of those statements but I am male, I am not feminine but I still relate.
Thank you❤
thank you for posting this
You have an angelic face.
Yes
everyone styled like our generation and culture and how we grew up is getting really strange
like we are dress up
Rapture research center? Lol.