Deep Dive HSP & Divergent Mind
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- Опубліковано 6 вер 2024
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Everything here is 100% relatable. I’ve been shut down all my life for perceiving differently and needing things to be very specific. Getting blamed for being so sensitive really kills the self esteem and we second guess ourselves even if we’re in the right. But I think our neurodivergence and sensitivity are our super powers. We think so deeply and see what others cannot. We don’t just go with the crowd and be ignorantly blissful. We can learn to be more thoughtful and compassionate than others, like your story about the bread or the guy with mental illness.
We see you!
I'm completely obsessed with the perfect descriptive words, definitions etc too. As an add on I really enjoy using descriptive words in unusual but correct contexts. The other day I said to my colleague "I have a *lavish* amount of unanswered emails" and I got a real kick out of that 😂. I enjoy the process of figuring words out ✨
Fellow autistic here! I think i might have adhd too. You are my new favourite UA-camr 🌸✨
Thank you!! Nice to have you here
The hyper focus on finding the right word is the most relatable autistic trait I’ve heard so far- I’m a professional writer and this obsession is responsible for my career
I can remember whole stories from someone's life from talking to them a couple times. But I can't often remember their names.
you: telling the bread story and saying that you understand that it sounds insane
me: doesn’t sound insane to me, i couldn’t relate more tbh 😹
Haha, let’s see if the dad likes the bread!
Same!! I thought it is so sweet. Why don’t others understand this?
Omg I cant even begin to explain how relatable needing to find that perfect word in a conversation is more for me. I was always strong with english and vocabulary in school so I very often need to find the perfect word for something I'm explaining or else I feel like I'm not correctly elucidating the topic or thing I'm trying to describe. My partner will also just help me find the word till i need it. And often we'll move on but further in the convo I will say "aha! It's this word" and that will bring us back to the original topic in order to resolve that discussion correctly. It must be really humorous for people to see XD.
I also have that urge to always know something I don't understand or validate something I'm not sure about. Part of that might be because I'm a scientist, but to be for real it's probably the other way around.
during my autism diagnosis process (already diagnosed with adhd) i was diagnosed with hsp generalized anxiety and giftedness. i am a high masking afab person and felt extremely dismissed also the reasoning of not being diagnosed with asd was because i “made quality eye contact and used appropriate gestures”. a month later i went back in to talk to the psychologist and after talking for 15 minutes she said she was going to diagnose me with autism.
im glad my psychologist was super open to conversation but it made me concerned because she said that many other girls have came to her looking for an autism diagnosis and was given my exact diagnosis (she also said people rarely came back to talk about anything). hopefully i helped other people like me going to that psychologist get diagnosed the first time.
apologies for rambling! i really appreciate the community and safe space you foster!! thank you :)
Yes it’s so important to never give up on getting diagnosed (for personal reasons, statistical/ future+ongoing research reasons as well). Of course it’s okay to need breaks in between to recoup if needed cause it is really discouraging to be invalidated within the medical system
@@thethoughtspot222 yes it just was baffling to me that it only took 15 minutes of talking. i feel very relieved to have a diagnosis now!
niiiiice! I'm so proud of you for standing up for yourself and even making a difference for so many of this professionals future patients!! yay, this made me very happy and hopeful
I'm delighted to see more videos about HSP! I myself am HSP, and I'm undiagnosed but I am Neruodivergent. For so long, there were things my hubby would say I'd do, (like he calls it 'Freezing' when something big and stressing came up) or how I'd act or be, and I'd always be so caught off guard by these things. In the recent year, I started to learn more about neruodivergent traits, autism, adhd and HSP.
I am constantly running with my cup already half full, so emotional events just hit me so much harder. Ever randomly cry during a job interview? I still got it though!
I miss tons of ques half the time, and I'm often told the way I think and come up with conclusions/solutions to problems is so different or weird.
Small events can ruin my day, emotionally. I can be super up, and then at the drop of a hat, someone could say something that just. . . sends me into a mood. And it's so hard to shake off. Yet, LOGICALLY, *I know* I should just, realized it's not a big deal... but I can't *stop* feeling.
Logically, I can tell myself, this should effect you, shake it off. Yet, emotionally? I'm checked out. I have to recharge. I have to have the emotions, to get them out, and get passed it. Then I'm able to get back into the fray, so to speak.
Thank you for this video, and I'm glad I've found your channel! :3
You literally just described me in this comment! Word for word! I'm also on my journey to figure out my neurodivergence and if I do have autism or ADHD! I'm also an HSP and I get all the experiences you described!
Hii, you look so cool in orange!
Thank you! One of my favorite colors 🍊
That loaf of bread story just shows your attention to detail and also how much you care about the well-being of the person you’re doing it for. I relate a lot since I’m the same. I’ve always loved making gifts or gestures that match things my close friends have hinted or asked for. Or that are related to some thing they really love. It feels so good when you see their reaction 😊 it’s priceless!
There’s someone in my life that gets SO irritated by my need for words to be used properly, and for me to use the proper word, they get annoyed with my struggle to find a word and the time it can take. Most of the people I have in my life appreciate this characteristic, it has rarely gone unmentioned by others, and I look things up in multiple dictionaries and thesauruses/thesauri (yes I checked, both are correct) because sometimes dictionary definitions differ, urban dictionary has been a HUGE help to me retroactively for when people have said things that they don’t mean (i.e./e.g.”That’s sick” - meaning that’s cool/awesome/rad)
I don't think the bread thing sounds insane at all. I think it sounds like such an act of love! If someone did that for me I'd be moved to tears.
Another video where my head’s processes seem to be layer out and articulated accurately and eloquently.
Especially where seeing the brokenness with people, and the thing about words.
I am waiting for a second level assessment for ASD. My son and I are very sensitive. A lot of the characteristics of HSP describe us so much, as much as your description of your unique autistic approach that so many can relate here in the comments section.
One more thing I want to say that as a man, I have been even more “gaslighted” for being “too sensitive” or “feminine” or “ mother like” for just being who I am. I feel I am a super strong man for being able to deal with so much thrown at me in my life, for being who I am, and for being an amazing single parent. Some other people ask me how I can deal with everything I have to deal with, and it is because I know we are giants with a giant heart!
Thank you. With your videos you put my mind at rest that ASD and HSP can coexist and that perhaps they are even the same thing.
This definitely resonated with me. I also get obsessed with trying to find the exact word that I wanted to use. And I totally understood and was nodding along about bringing the bread to be 100% sure that an experience will be exactly what you wanted. Thanks so much for this video! Going through the examples was really helpful. And made me really happy to know you do these things that I do too.
I hope it's okay for me to do the very thing you describe and suggest that the phrase your partner was looking for is "settling for someone" as opposed to "settling down with someone" (which I would personally define the same way you did.) 😺
I just wanted to say thank you for including HSP when talking about neurodivergency!
I am highly sensitive but not autistic nor do I have ADHD. I feel like HSP is sometimes seen as only a part of ASD or ADHD or not seen as/not discussed when talking about neurodivergency at all. So I just really appreciate you acknowledging it as it's own thing AND as a valid type of neurodivergency!
It just makes me feel so seen as a fellow neurodivergent
Cool vid, i would like to see more content on your personal experience w/ OCD and the effect its had on your life. I’m contemplating if I have it and having your insight could be helpful. Also I just like hearing you talk about this stuff in general :)
I made a video talking about OCD vs ASD, but I can also make another one going more into detail about how it affects me personally!
@@thethoughtspot222 that would be really cool!
The loaf of bread story is TOTALLY relatable! For me, the relationships that I chose to commit to (romantic or close friendships/family) I really want to nurture in this sort of way.
For instance, one family member who i wanted to show appreciation for but didnt know how to, had an old stash-box that looked a bit dishevelled, so I made it my mission to find them a new one made from a independent, local craftsperson with a simplistic aesthetic they'd enjoy... They loved it !
I often find myself in this loop of initially getting very excited for the idea, obsessing over every detail, to then feel guilty for being "too weird or intense about it".
But no! Thesedays, I've been telling myself to follow through - its always worth it to do the kinder thing than opt out from fear. 🥰
the little story about getting sandwiches for your partner's dad was so adorable
I do that exact thing in conversations too! Stopping to find the exact word I'm thinking of. And pointing out when someone uses a word wrong, though typically this isn't very appreciated by the other person in the conversation. I don't mind though because to me, it is a very fun interest. I love etymology and history.
Great video! Loved the bread story. As for your last point, it really hit home. I had to learn the hard way how people take your actions for granted, so, for instance, if you generally help others, you are labelled as" the helper", so beware of failing to help once! I feel people expect more of you when you're a giver, a great employee, a brilliant student, an overachiever, etc and think you'll be able to cope somehow at all times, and that makes the double standard more evident. Slackers are never taken for granted. So it's a constant state of being caught between a rock and a hard place. Figuring out how to control the ebb and flow of my energy and attention to others (as well as setting up strong boundaries) has been a lesson I've only mastered in the last few years and I'm in my last 40s.
Your video was very informative. I am currently on a journey to receive a diagnosis of autism, and I found your explanation of social situations to resonate with my own experiences. During my time at university, my friends noticed that I would frequently repeat the same word multiple times throughout the day. Although I wasn't initially aware of this habit, it became evident that I had a tendency to fixate on specific words, finding enjoyment in their intonation and meaning. Another aspect of social context that affects me is my strong analytical nature. I extensively observe my environment and typically remain quiet most of the time. However, if a particular topic captures my interest, I will actively engage in conversation. Nevertheless, when I return home, all the conversations replay in my mind, and I find myself analyzing them once again. This tendency often leaves me feeling exhausted and prompts me to avoid social interactions whenever possible.
Hiii, just wanted to say that I discovered your channel not long ago and watching your videos I identified too much with many of the things you talked about and you don't know how much it has helped me understand myself even though I'm not "officially" diagnosed with autism. It makes me feel like I'm not as alone and "weird" as I thought, thank you. :") (Excuse my english, it's not my first language)
I always find your videos interesting love to listening to what your talking about you are a beautiful intelligent speaker sorry that happened to him
A lot of your videos are so great at communicating my personality and personal struggles. I'm still learning but I have a really bad time with verbally communicating how I'm feeling. A lot of words I cannot describe I use literal sensations and sounds, or not-so-synonyms.
Is the art on the wall behind you a leaf? It's very beautiful
I am getting SO much from your channel. Thank you for putting all of this out there. I just found your channel today and listened to 7 videos back to back while cooking, working out, cleaning, etc. I’ve subscribed and look forward to more.
the bread story is so wholesome. made me tear up a bit
I intentionally worked on my obsession with words. I used to make my mother crazy, and I had endless and annoying discussions with my partners. I hated that. I learned to repress the impulse to correct people and fight over words' proper definitions...most of the time. Still, I ALWAYS notice. Even more so in my native language. And it is way worse than I. She is very passionate and uses apps with definitions to correct people and win discussions.
You are amazing! Love your videos!!
This is relatable. I think the dad would enjoy any type of bread you brought but I understand your desire to bring a particular type
Just this second discovered your channel. It's a miriad of things that mean I want to subscribe. Tone, Sincerity, Competency +. You're great. I'll be going through a lot of your content. Thank you. My background is complex and I'm just now starting to realise that i've spent two decades+ of being confused and deeply masking. I'm not diagnosed nor on the track to be. That's a different story that I need hellp on but I'll get to that in my own time. Again, thank you.
Came here to say how lovely you are that you notice the sadness and spiralling in others. It’s takes a toll but I believe it’s a gift and despite how hard it is on our body’s and minds to be able to see someone when they are at their most vulnerable is beautiful. X I’m the same, except when I am having a hard time I become the opposite and close down so I don’t let all that in. X
As I watched the video, 100 percent I felt your symptoms like me. I am doing mind therapy, and correct my negative thoughts and reduce my deepest fear of closing to people. I still don't know how my brain works, not outside me but inside, you know. I love people as they don't treat me badly,but in reality I was so many times left out by othes by talking behind, mocking. I am korean immigrant, and 6.5 years to live in the U.S . When I was a baby and elementary school, It was challenging for me to expressing myself, to others and I started getting bullied when I was 13 and from now many times due to anxiety with looking froze or how to react to friends. It is sad and I cannot change my past, and for me it is adventure to know new people in the U.S and now the biggest challenge is opening my self to others and making a good friends. But actually I am afraid of people's bad reaction, I hope you read my message and reply me. And I was touched that how thoughful your efforts to share your story.
You talked about bread and I got a Rustik Oven bread ad! 😂😂😂
i love words so much and i do the exact same things you described with your partner lol, it baffles me that this is not a common universal experience
I always get so stuck on meanings and words and if they’re accurate or not. A lot of the time people get annoyed at this because they think I’m angry or upset about it. They say “it’s not a big deal.” And I’m so confused because to me it’s just interesting. I’m not upset about it, I just find it fun to talk about. And yes I get a bit obsessive about arguing my point, but I’m just passionate not angry lol
my god, your story about your friend spiraling made me think of a similar experience as well. I was basically not a friend to this person. An exe to an acquaintance I knew. But I was super sad for him when they broke-up, because I saw it in his actions. He was not well. And for whatever reason we were all hanging out...essentially ignoring him brooding. I even tried reaching out and doing small talk. I do NOT do that. Nothing came of it tho.
And your bread story made me think of people that way as well. I used to be really good at giving "thoughtful" gifts. And your story made me think of my brain in how I'd like to formulate in wanting to give certain gifts to people. My spouse would stop me if it's too "out there" lol
Yo, I'm the similar way about words. But not-so the same way, my spouse really enjoys wordplay, so I'd struggle with certain words, and he'd like to saying words backwards and puns. (which he had to teach me how puns work, but he's bad at explaining/teaching for me, so I had to experience it plenty of times to get it)
the breaking the rules bit at the end is my whole work life.omg
my partner & I have those word origin / definition conversations as well :) it's delightful to hear about it from someone else!
Thank you thank you for your videos! Your thoughts on social interaction versus connection were especially interesting to me. I'm 60 years old and still trying to figure out the social thing. You have a great way of explaining things.
The bread story was awesome! I would have packed a loaf too!
You rock girl! Thanks for making this content ❤🎉😊
I could listen to you all day! Words have always been important to me too 😊 Unfortunately, I have lost a lot of my ability to communicate effectively due to years of constant misunderstandings and rejection. I tend to shut down very quickly now in conversations which is very frustrating. I know my shutdown is imminent as I constantly lose the right word and verbally stumble with malapropisms and spoonerisms. Does this happen to you as well?
I am hoping that by sharing your amazingly articulate videos with fam/friends they will see I am not trying to be difficult, I am just constantly questioning to get clarification to try and understand exactly what they are meaning - the intent behind what they are saying!
I love that you have a partner who is eager to explore word definitions and join you on the quest to find the perfect word - every ND’s dream! ❤ (Oh, is he ND too?). Love your work! ❤
Oh losing words happen all the time! I think it’s important to not beat yourself up too much and just understand you may be having a difficult time processing
I think it’s nice, if you trust the other person, to find other ways to communicate!
Ok I definitely do have an itch to find the right word but I didn't try too hard to find it but it is very satisfying to figure it out. I often will try to say something and then it just completely doesn't come out right I don't even know, it seems so far off from what I mean but I don't know how to fix it and just give up and leave it, it's upsetting. I wish I could express myself more easily.
That story you told about your friends friend who wasn't doing so well was really moving. It can b so hard to reach out for help, I wish people would jump in and help u when I obviously need it like that but yeah maybe they just can't even tell they should or don't know what to say.
I remember u told another story about hiding under the xmas tree and how no one could see you there. It sounded so appealing to me to be able to just be around people but able to observe them unseen. I've often wished I could just watch people from up close but without bothering them. I don't want to stalk them I'm just fascinated with the way they act.
I also feel a lot of confusion about treatment of different people like at work. People seem to get buddy buddy so much and it seems like I'm just not a part of it but I don't know y. I like to follow all the rules to the letter and do my best and not everybody does that. When other people do not follow the rules I feel confused about it, y do they think it's ok to not do it? It bothers me a bit but I realize that I can only control what I do so I'll just keep on.
I love your videos, you seem so insightful. I'm glad to be able to hear your thoughts about things
i'm laughing with such delight Irene HAHHAHAAH I loveeeee your channel so much!!!
Nobody actually believes my selfdiagnose but my mom…. Who always treats me as if I am sick… wich is not much affirming…. I am tired…
This was so validating, thank you! I remember my high school sociology teacher loves Diet Coke from a specific taco restaurant in the small town I grew up in. No clue why I remember that😅
I loved the book too .... and i wish it will be inculcated in the society more and more
Wow I can't believe how much I relate to. I prefer a printed dictionary. As a kid I used to sit on the floor of my parents bedroom and flip through the pages of the encyclopedia. I always learn something, and I had my favorite pages.
I like learning the etymology of words, and the origins of phrases of speech and customs. Like why do people shake hands anyway? Where does the term Milestone come from? Is it actually possible to be so angry you see red? I have learned these answers over time
your partner sounds awesome!
First of all, I think your version of settling down is the most right one!😂 His just seems like settling, full stop. Secondly, I completely understand the need to be precise and have the same from others (which is super hypocritical since I rarely share my feelings with anyone anymore😬), but it’s still very important! And it was good to see your perspective on work, because unfortunately I’ve been on both sides, I just never could see it when I was the one disregarding certain rules (I’m compulsively tardy, always, my entire life….definitely an anxiety thing, but also just stop trying so hard sometimes when it gets overlooked), but also have been the one with a really good work ethic when it comes to certain things and seemed like the better I tried to do my job, the more I was punished for it in a lot of ways while others make half the effort…..I’ve learned to not concern myself with things other people do because when I care it gets way too confusing, like most things do. Anyway, thank you for a totally relatable, great video. You make things make sense in a way most do not, and I appreciate that big time!🙏🫶
Haha I think my definition of settling down was more objective and his was more “social-relational”. & yes being held to a higher standard can be so frustrating at times!
It’s me ❤
Where is the segments of the book video?
I need a follow up in the bread 🥖 situation lol
I will keep y’all posted!!
I love etymology, get a latin to English dictionary. It's amazing
20:05 If that ain't the definition of autism idk what is! 😂😂
(I get it! LOL)
Lol, I’m in Tulsa, OK-what kind of bread are you looking for? I used to live in Los Angeles several years ago and I miss a couple of types of bread I used to get there! You’re right, bread is very regional. I would just take the bread with me too. It makes total sense to me. 😂
Does being a HSP, mean than you are neurodivergent?
So are HSP usually autistic?
I don’t think HSP necessarily means your autistic and likewise not all autistic people are HSP-prob similar to adhd+ASD
@@thethoughtspot222 Oh, interesting!
This book was NOT helpful for me trying to find ways to improve and navigate a world not built for us. It was completely rife with other people’s writing on their experiences. I need SOLUTIONS.
💯
I completely get it. Why do you have to explain? Lol
Sometimes it’s fun to explain! If the other person is willing to listen and understand
@@thethoughtspot222
Oh my gosh! I meant rhetorically of course. I love your elaborate explanations. They have literally helped me connect dots that I was never able to connect before. So thank you. I respond when someone says something impactful, I appreciate what you are doing for the community and everyone we interact with.
Did he like the bread????
Sounds like your partner was saying ‘settling down’ when they may actually mean ‘settling’.
Okay, i don’t want to come across as ignorant, but are the traits she describes not normal? like genuinely not normal? like you’re telling me that most people don’t think like this/have these traits??!?