6 REASONS NARCISSISTS HAVE DOUBLE STANDARDS
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- Опубліковано 7 чер 2024
- #narcissist #narcissismawareness Narcissists are notorious for their double standards. What's okay for them isn't okay for you. There are real reasons that narcissists see themselves as held to a different standard than you, and understanding those reasons can help you let go of the need to reason with someone who will never see you as an equal.
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You’re much better than most of the professionals (IMHO).
Definitely, without question 👍
I love this girl. I love how she teaches us about narcissism. She really gets down into it, gifted.
Absolutely. After 3 years of watching these videos, I finally had to unsubscribe from all the channels that are done by those who don't have some kind of degree in this field. There are only a handful that I kept and still watch. You are in that handful. I have been watching your videos for a very long time and am always blown away by your knowledge and ability to explain things so well. One thing though, all the other channels give us their name. I don't believe you have ever told us your name. I can understand that you might not want to give out your last name, but we don't even know your first name. It's hard to have a conversation or communicate with someone when you don't know the person's name. Trust me, my narc husband of 34 years has NEVER called me by my name. No pet names either. Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Agreed!
When he yells at you and ask him why he yelled at you, he will deny that still at an even higher tone and louder raging voice
Omg yes.. 🤦🏻♀️😒
"If they have to do things that costs you your job, or your home, or your relationships, or your health, or, even, your life, they don't feel bad for you." I was hoping you said "life." No matter how much we learn about narcissism/narcissists, it's very important that we understand that they are extremely dangerous and never underestimate how dangerous they can be. Think of the worst thing a human being could do to another human being -- the narcissist would do that to you. It's scary.
My mother always offered the last bit of food for her family rather than take it herself. I was always taken aback when the ex took the last cookie, as you had mentioned. I always thought because he came from a family of 8 that he had to fight for every morsel. But I think it is all about him, his entitlement and his lack of caring/empathy for others.
Large families fight over the fish & chips.
A narcissist's paranoia is SOMETIMES projection, and SOMETINES it's legitimate because it's probably someone they've hurt (several times) before and that person would have a VALID REASON to go after them, which they would have earned based on their toxic behaviour to others. If the narcissist constantly abuse someone that someone MIGHT just want to get vengeance or treat them badly in return.
But no matter what, they'll ALWAYS consider themselves either the 'hero' or the 'victim'. Infact, if you ever notice it actually alternates: hero, victim, hero, victim, hero, victim, etc. But the OTHER person is PERMANENLY labelled the "villain" no matter what abuse they've taken from the narcissist.
I have kids with a very narcissistic person and he is in perpetual violation of the custody and support orders. He truly believes no rule applies to him, and that I am doing to him what he is doing to me. His parents are exactly the same. I am always telling friends how his family sees me as less than human. Thank you for validating this and please let me know of any videos pertaining to this issue. ❤
"yeh but its different".. WOW.. you're the first person to say those exact words I always heard from her whenever I explained that she did the exact thing she got upset at me doing to her...they literally cannot take their own energy... yuk!
This is a great explanation. On another aspect of the narcissist, I have seen the narcissist who is living in the same house as I do a tendency to "mirror" what I do. I think this is the term specialists use to describe how narcissists imitate whatever their primary source does. For example, if I say I like yogurt, this person suddenly likes yogurt. The same goes for so many things, to the ridiculous extreme of wanting to take the same natural medication I am taking, or buying the same style of shoes. Another aspect is what is called the "narcissist's stare." I cannot understand why, in a conversation, he has to be staring at me, with his eyes wide open as though he were trying to take in everything he sees in me. It is so upsetting to me that I prefer to look downward or askance as though I were thinking about what he is saying. He calls me on it sometimes by saying that it is more proper for people in a conversation to maintain eye contact. I simply cannot stand maintaining eye contact with a person who is staring at me and never blinking. I would appreciate your commenting on this. Thank you so much for your videos. They help me to live with this person without going insane.
My difficulty is trying to show our two young daughters that this is not how relationships should work, so in my case I need to call my wife out for her hypocrisy
He taunts me and whistles circus music at me until I finally blow up and rage, then he records me. Then I'm the one who has to apologize.
You have to fight them in order to have a relationship with them. It’s incredibly tiresome and even after the relationship has been finished by them they still continue to try to provoke you and you think to yourself “well you threw me away and blocked me why on earth do you care if i give attention to other women especially when you appear to be getting on soo well with all these new men and cavorting with them and trying to look at me for any discomfort”. There’s nothing civilised about them in how they treat you only this false grandiosity.
1. They don't see themselves as another person or a one person.
> You are not equal to them.
> They are the only real person.
2. They are the exception.
> Their binary thinking (black vs. white)
makes them the good guy, so you must be the bad guy.
3. They think they are better than you.
> They are overcompensating their deep shame & insecurities.
4. They lack empathy.
> Life is a competition.
> They don't care.
> They have no filter.
5. They are paranoid.
> You are a thread to them.
> Most of it is projection.
6. They are in denial.
> They make lots of efforts to excuse themselves for their behaviour.
Conclusion:
》You can't reason with someone who is not able to see you.
》They are in constant crisis-mode.
Thanks to you & 🐈⬛ ❤
Thanks for this!
I waited until the end for Lucy ❤
Meow. 😻🧶🐾
Actually, I think it's more than that. I think that they themselves think that everybody is like them. That's why they think that you're gonna screw him over. That's why they think that you don't really care about him. That's why they think they're gonna one up you all the time. They don't think they're better than you. They think you're just like them and that you're gonna do things to them, just like they think of doing to everybody else
Also, they never, never take accountability for things they caused to go wrong. I was reminded of that tonight and just when I thought maybe I can deal with this for the time I have left in my life by enforcing boundaries and just not really caring, I was reminded it's not all about that. There is so much more insidious cumulative damage going on.
This must be the only channel where the presenter remains nameless. Maybe if I look behind the mirror.... Lucy is beautiful thanks for introducing the cat! I love it when an animal gets in the picture. Hi from Australia.
Yes my mother was/still is a full blown narcissist + hypomanic. Not a good combo. I can vouch that they never change, high & mighty even in old age.
OVERCOMPENSATION
I finally hear that word after studying narcissism for 4000 hours
Est.
why did it take so long for this word to come up
I learned this concept by listening to the Little Shaman, although I’m not sure if she uses that word. But if you aren’t already listening to her, you may find her content useful as well.
@LookingBehindMirror Her work is profound!
Thank you ever so much for your insight and your compassion for taking the time to make these videos. You put the words on my every feeling ive had with my own experience and its liberating to say the least.
I think you are a wonderful, intelligent and beautiful woman inside and out. Thank you for your empathic heart. This series has really helped me through a really tough period in my life. If not the hardest.
I almost jumped up and hit the ceiling when your video popped up in my feed! I missed you so much. Thanks for all the great info. Happy New Year!❤❤❤
Awwww. Thanks. It’s been a hectic holiday season. Hopefully I can get back to more frequent posts in the new year.
@@LookingBehindtheMirror I understand. Thanks for getting me through the toughest year of my life.
I don’t know. Mine says that he ain’t worth it.
and he called me immature.........thanks and Happy New Year.
Hi Lucy!
Thank you so much for sharing your incredible wisdom and insight with so many people and for shedding light on this topic. You and your content are so powerful and you are making such a positive difference in peoples lives🥰🙏🏽✨
Thank you.
I completely agree! ❤
And I think because of they've acted on their emotions alone and what they think somebody thinks th after the situation is gone, they there's no memory of it. I'm telling you I've been with my husband almost 20 years. There is no memory of what they tell you. You know like when you say oh I like onions or i don't like onion. S you're pretty much not gonna like onions. But they're like I don't like onions and then they like onions and you like. I thought you didn't like onion. Oh no I like onions. Do you like what and everything they say? It doesn't really mean what they're saying. Because they honestly don't care they don't care about anything they just care about. I'm sounding like I know something better right now. I mean, my husband's told me the stupidest stuff like you know how plugs have a light switch so you can plug in the lamp and then turn the lights switch off. As they've always turned in the lamp off. That was popular like in the 90s 80s, and we have a switch like that. And he's gonna tell me not to turn the switch off. Cause the TV turns off cause when you have a smart t. V. It's basically always on listening to you if it's plugged in whether it's off or not. So you can wake it up basically.
I mean, he'll just make up stuff that you know is not. Plausible, it's just made up. It's like a toddler or a 5 year old. Trying to tell you stories and I'm getting you to believe them. And then I saw adult, you say okay. Now you telling me a story that you made up, or you tell me a real story that really happened that you no, and they'll be like. Oh, it's a made up story and then. That's a point where you're teaching the difference between make-believe in real. You know what I mean, they don't have that don't tell you some stupid stuff or you're like. How can you even tell another adult human beings? Some stupid junk like that.
Hi Lucy!🥳
Question: when they seem to blame the other for being unemployed--- like the other is in charge of the economy? Does this type of blaming look like narcissistic abuse or simply clueless about the reality the other faces? I often hear comments about homeless people who could fix their lives simply by getting a job. And then there is the border issue where people think foreign citizens deserve to work and travel freely.
The blame game. This seems to carry a double standardness.
Good question. IMO it goes along with the general agenda of not accepting accountability, responsibility and blame shifting all of that onto others/previous managers/government/economy, etc. It's always NOT them or their fault. That's what they care about. Not being at fault for their own destruction.
@@kaylaschroeder1 Disproportional blame and self aggrandizement --- without sufficient evidence of either.
I have often felt that a discussion about the difference between arrogance and confidence is rather revealing.
awww. kitty :)
Aahw lucy is so cute!❤
Thank you for anothet great and informative video - you are great helper for people .. have an amazing 2024!
Hello🐈
🐈🐈⬛🐱❤
UA-camrs pets think.....uummm who are you talking to?
😂
if i call her on her shit she goes stop playing the victim card lol just all blame shifting, she would project all the things she is doing on to me. so she was easy to see everything she said i was doing is what she is doing. i am gone and working so hard to let her go.
now my work is to work on why i keep going back to this i sure have some problems to deal with.
meow
They don't have standard so to say they have double standards. That's just not correct. A standard is something you have consistently. They don't have a standard. They're standards, they change. It's more like saying whatever they think they need to stay to one up the other person. And it's sad because like all these things that I learned as a kid like really based on more. Than 10 commandments, but we weren't religious or anything. But I mean I picked up stuff from all kinds of people when I was yoand they don't were much better adults. Like he doesn't even know that term misery loves company and I'm like OKI do not know that I mean so many of these things. It's just like they're not there like they are for a normal halfway normal people. My sister's a nark, my mom's a nark. And they really expect you to just alter your own reality, even when you're talking to them about things in the past, they say stuff or you're like okay, that's not how it was, that's not what I thought I didn't even do anything to make you think that so why would you think that and it's funny? Because they know how you think they know what you really mean, even though you've told them straight out they've been like. Oh, no, that's not it, it's because of this and you're like OK. How could it be because of that? If that's not even in my brain, but it's in your brain that you just made up.
Medicine is an art not science.