One quick note on this. The line I said "the amount of kisses promised didn't equal the amount of kisses delivered" can be interpreted as problematic and I want to clarify that ANYONE HAS THE RIGHT TO REVOKE CONSENT AT ANY TIME. I just thought it was a funny thing to say, and was bummed that we didn't make out cause she was very pretty & intelligent. However I am not entitled to anyone's body, and they are free to not make out with my face if they don't want to anymore. In this specific situation, I think we were both merely afraid to make the first move, but want to clarify for those who may take it in the way it isn't intended to be: just a funny little line I thought of.
The sad part is that you had to put this disclaimer for the minority of people who don't think you know what consent is. The rest of us get it. You made a joke. P.S. welcome to the darkside.
Now you experience the wlw problem of no one making the first move ever because women have been socialised to "be pursued" and not do the pursuing lest we be sluts. My dating women made me realise what a low, low bar men have in a relationship (I.e. don't be an arse). My bar for dating women was much higher, until I realised this and adjusted my bar for men 😊
Hi Anna, I'm glad you clarified it, even though I personally never felt that you honestly meant it in any problematic way. I decided to comment on it above, because it to me is an interesting topic that is both scary and tremendously important to show both or several sides of, and I'm glad that me and some of my fellow commentors are getting the chance to share our opinions on the matter. You certainly shouldn't feel like you have to censor yourself going forward, just because one of your jokes sparked a discussion. Just the fact that you're willing to share some of your honest, spur of the moment feelings that might be thought of as questionable in hindsight, means that your channel is a space where you and your viewers can discuss complicated matters, even when there may be a bit of controversy. To me, that's beyond awesome and thank you for providing that! :)
Correction, she just wants a "guy friend". Aka he will have to stear clear if some other guy she likes hits on her and have to be a bodyguard if someone she doesn't like hits on her.
This is one of those moments where I understand why old bitter guys in literally every facet of life laugh at the newbie who got the same treatment they did
When u get this kind of one-sided interactions, be rude! Express her or his faultiness or live with the leash/ an imbalanced relationship without a clue for happiness!
Boomer here. Back in the 80s, being feminist meant that you were independent and responsible. Most of the time, you went Dutch and paid your portion of expenses because being independent meant you didnʻt want to be bought. On a first date, it was typical that the person who made the invitation paid for everything. If the other person wanted to pay part of it, there was no big deal about it. Thatʻs what being equal means.
I probably don't know other country's dating cultures and I saw 2 comments mentioning being Dutch meant you split the bill. What does being Dutch have to do with splitting the bill?
That's not equal at all. Men are expected to approach in the overwhelming number of cases. Saying "it was typical that the person who made the invitation paid for everything" is the literal equivalent of saying it's expected that men pay for everything, all the time, forever. There is literally not one thing equal about that. And no, putting on fakeup so you can pretend you're an 8/10 instead of a 6/10 ISN'T recompense for this, it's actually a net negative that I wish wasn't even legal.
I went on a date with this one girl and she stayed on her phone the whole time. So I finished my food quick, Went to the register paid for my half of the meal and left.
51/50 we live by that. If I got it and you don't we both eat good. If you got it and I don't we still eating good. Shout out to all the homies that live like this. #SquadOverMoney Any day!
lol girl that is just the demo wait for the full package with hits like : - I cheated on you and it was your fault. - I will be angry all the day and never tell you the reason. - My best friend partner does (insert X) for her. - I will give clear hints that im totally into you and the next day treat you as a total stranger. And my favorite: - I don't want to be with you but also don't want to see you with anyone else.
Whats stuck with me the most out of any relationship is what my last ex said was her reason for breaking up. She said "You are just too stable". That one statement has literaly destroyed any desire to put myself out there again. I just cant understand what that even means.
@@yayo0 Don't worry, I'm not mad about it at all. :) [Warning: Wall of text incoming] I can see how it could come off as that, but the point that I didn't make, but which kind of goes along with my comment is that, while (as a guy) it's great to see that Anna is acknowledging that empowerment isn't the same as equality, and that gender roles still very much exist in modern dating, but that we should also still be careful not to confuse expectations with entitlements. And secondly that everyone here (including me) finds it adorable, when Anna said "the amount of kisses promised didn't equal the amount of kisses delivered", but if a man had said it, everyone here (including me) would find it borderline predatory. But there's no outrage in this observation, I feel everyone has the right to change their mind, as much as everyone else has the right to feel disappointed, as long as it stays at that. It was just an observation, which I'm not entirely sure what to do with yet. :)
I once dated a girl that made fun of me for having “childish” hobbies. I first didn’t think much about that fact but soon she started make fun of everything I said (even if the things I told her were like absolute 100% facts!) At that time I thought she was just innocently pranking me. But then I noticed that every time we meet she uses any excuse to joke that I was dumb and she is smart. Then I got to know she was really insecure about her not being able to finish college and working as a cashier while me being a university graduate and working as a software developer. Needles to say I got fed up with her attitude and dumped her. Right now I’m married to the love of my life - and she is a huge nerd for lego and Warhammer 40k just like me. What I got out of my bad experience in dates - don’t waste your time on people that don’t want to respect your hobbies!
Also that's not the reason man are supposed to pay for dates, the reason is that women used to have no money since they didn't work so ghe man was supposed to pay, femminism made chivalry obsolete
Yep... the simple idea of putting yourself in the other person's position brings an epiphany of clarity. This should have been realized by women long ago!
@@jimnapier7087 never should expect anyone (male or female) to empathize in your circumstances. We are human. And she is still a women regardless if she sleeps with other women. She has the same tendencies and DNA imprint. They cannot empathize with our struggles just like we cannot empathize with their struggles. This is why I believe it is not coming from a genuine place. Even her disclaimer shows its in her DNA.
@@Mikaiah72 I'm sorry, I have to do this. *per se It is a Latin term that means 'itself' ' or more modernly, 'intrinsically.' Just wanted to let you know since you did use it correctly.
@@Mikaiah72 Thats probably where my problem comes from, I don't mind doing most things but I need my companion to be able to do some things herself. (Coming from a house hold where no one knew anything and kinda just complained for things to happen save my Ma who honestly had the pants in the family lmao)
What’s funny is how surprising these realizations always are to women, rather than a relatively obvious or automatic extension of empathic understanding by the sex that usually claims to be so much more naturally in tune with others emotionally
They are more in tune with the emotions of people they can relate to, and that’s a small subset of people. Personally, I see a lot of them as very fake.
We don't particularly claim so. Society claims it about us. And then, we take over than idea as it is one of the very few positives society is associating with women. Both sexes are capable of empathy to the same degree and both can refuse to participate in it. In reality, we are really not that different, we are much more similar on many levels than it might seem at first glance because guess what? We are all human.
It’s so rare that men receive any ounce of sympathy or compassion for the roles that we play in our day to day lives. This was a refreshing point of view. Keep doing what ya do!
Learning of the Day: 1. Most women (not all) won't care about men's complaints unless they experience them themselves. 2. The best way for women to listen to men's complaints is if they are said by other women. Think about that. (By the way, personally, I've never had those specific problems. I've been blessed to meet extraordinary women, but I have friends who have).
This is kind of just a basic truth of human nature. It's difficult to empathize with something when you've never experienced something similar. You might be able to understand it academically, but really internalizing something is much harder to do without relevant experience. I remember reading this really interesting article about a white guy who wanted to research white privilege. So he underwent a procedure that would leave his skin darkened for about a month with the intention of experiencing what it feels like to be black. The guy after only a few days he abandoned the study, staying inside until the treatment wore off because he constantly felt like he was in danger. There are countless examples of this sort of unintentional bias. The rich fail to truly empathize with the average person's issues. The average person fails to truly empathize with the impoverished. The able-bodied fail to truly empathize with the disabled. Everyone that breaks a limb for the first time realizes this one to some degree. You never really appreciated your off-hand until you realize that you can't sharpen your pencil one-handed. You never truly appreciate your ability to walk until you realize just how many places are rendered inaccessible by a three inch ledge or a narrow passageway when you are in a wheelchair. There are plenty of emotional examples too. It's really easy to think the whole "don't date a your friend's ex" taboo is overblown until it happens to you and you are shocked by how much it actually bothers you. It's easy to think you understand what it feels like to lose someone close to you until it actually happens and you realize you never truly got it until before then. I guess my point is that it's important to keep in mind that this sort of bias isn't exclusive to any group of people.
To be fair, the other way around is also true. I think generally a lot of people have a hard time to accept that their personal experience isn't universal.
Just wait, soon you'll get hit with: You: "Where do you want to eat?" Them: "Anywhere is good." You: "Okay, we'll eat at _______." Them: *passive aggressive sigh*
I just stopped giving them a choice. It made it easier on me. I got to eat what I wanted to eat and they got to go out to dinner and have a free meal. If they paid or did half that was a bonus (most women I dated did). Women hate having to make decisions, for whatever reason that may be. So take their agency out of the equation in that instance and take them where you want to go.
I'm a middle aged guy and I have a lesbian friend who is older than me and she has a lifetime of experience dating women. I really enjoy chatting with her because her stories of getting burned by manipulative women are basically the same as my stories of getting burned by manipulative women!
Lesbians who divorce (and there are a lot of them) list the same reasons for doing so that straight women do. It's just double the probability that one of them will feel that way.
I love when girls say wearing make up and clothes is their "contribution" to the date. Like presenting your best when you are on a date isn't just basic and is on both ends.
Exactly. Men also pay for their nice clothes, haircuts, they take time grooming their hair and their facial hair, and spend money on quality colognes, beard oils, etc. Presenting yourself well isn't "your contribution to the date". It's for making a good impression on your date.
This is why when I was dating a first date was pretty much a free walk in the park and ice cream with conversation. A pro tip from a big brother of mine. It’s an easy filter
I'm a straight woman and I think women can be flat out emotionally cruel to men, far more than they are comfortable admitting. When I watch my dad's partner (not my mother fyi) mock everything he does, the fact that he's bald, the fact he has a belly now, this is wrong, that is wrong... it's scratching the surface of emotional abuse at times and you know it would never, ever be tolerated the other way round. I think men have to swallow a LOT of things down.
Men (or women) don’t HAVE to swallow anything. They choose to because they believe they can only find a partner if they continue tradition. I hear men complain about their wives and say women are crazy all the time. I don’t think women are crazy. I think men don’t have high enough standards and women don’t respect themselves enough to be higher quality women. Most men do most of the work: Talking to the woman, getting her on a date, paying for the date, paying for the wedding, buying the ring, etc. But it doesn’t have to be that way. It should be equal. Women have wanted equality for a long time, but what about signing a prenup or splitting the bill on every date or approaching the man of their dreams in public instead of watching him walk away to never see him again and waiting for some guy to talk to them first because they’re “shy.” Keep in mind the whole movement of guys who have started going out just to talk to random women to get get rid of the fear of rejection and finally have sex and possible love in their life. Most men are still doing most of the work. It’s time for a change. I wonder what would happen if no men approached women and refused to pay for anything unless the woman payed for the other half.
@@bgos4727 the fact that you have to clarify "I'm not a pick-me" proves how horribly toxic the female attitude to men often is. You have to clarify you're not just saying something for attention because other women (I've seen men do it but usually women) will call you a pick-me for daring to have some compassion for a guy.
I disagree. Girls and guys have equal rights now, meaning a girl finally has the opportunity to make as much money as a guy. Guys and girls, or guys and guys, or girls and girls, should just split the bill. Easy and done
@@giftedwolf6671 Yes, I agree. When I go on a date I always split the bill. I think it is kinda weird that women expect for men to pay on a first date.
I knew my girlfriend was a keeper when I asked her out for our first date and she said “that sounds great but I am broke right now, how about next week?” Lol
give her a big hug from me. She's financially and emotionally stable marriage material and that is rare. If you want you can grab her butt during the hug. up to you.
I'm 30 and just give up also. Almost marry with the wrong one and now I kind of can see their nature and feel no obliged in participate in this game anymore... I'm happy alone and like to use my whole energy for myself.
It has always been extremely difficult for me to understand all these rituals associated with romantic relationships. Then I just stopped trying. And my life got better.
same lol. i haven't think about dating for the last 2 years and my life is actually going better. Less time sulking about dates, or thinking about being lonely. The most opened apps for the last 2 years? Games. Haven't checked tinder and such for almost a year. Heck, I even woke up at 6 everyday due to less overthinking at 2AM.
People need to stop thinking of what are the rituals and starting to think what they want. Simple communication through the date is enough to understand what type of person are you meeting with. If they are not ok with splitting the bill from the very beginning, simply cut the date short! You know you don't like the attitude of that person already so why suffer for next couple of hours? Just communicate clearly with them and a normal person will really appreciate it. If they don't, they're not worth your time.
@@Anaryen91 That's what I always do. It's not the best if they lie or hide things (plus I am WAY too forgiving), but there have been a few people that I opened up to and was honest about everything from the very beginning/beforehand, it easily removed anyone who became a shitty person because of it.
@@briannalee1998 Not overly fond of this. Guys are getting told to treat women two different ways. Treat women as equals! But you should still treat them differently when it benefits women. I also don't buy Anna's "We spend time to look pretty so you should pay for dinner" rational. The whole thing makes it seem like I have to pay for a women's time.
Yep. I feel like a first date should be getting to know someone, NOT impressing. I'd never dress up for a first date because I feel it's fake. You're putting on this persona that isn't you on a regular basis.
Here in germany, it´s all quite the opposite. Women don´t want to eat on the first date - i actually never had dinner with any of them, not even the one i currently date for 6 weeks now. And for everything where we have to pay for something, they always want to split checks. And when i try to pay without asking them if they want to split checks, they get really annoyed. And the women i date often make a shitload more money than i do. They just don´t care. None of them ever asked for my salary. The stuff that happens in the US really isn´t normal.
I am from Germany too and yes, I assumed there would depend a lot on local culture too. It is also not expaected for men to pay for the woman on a first date either. Still, the other problems are true in Germany as well. My GF is bi and she also says that dating women is much more complicated and that she is always afraid and super nervous about dates with other women but not with men.
I'm a bisexual woman and I find dating other women really hard because I feel like in most cases, they don't express their wants. Even if there are some hints, I'm just scared that I'm misreading the situation.
"I'm just scared that I'm misreading the situation" exactly like guys exept if you misread it it might just comes of as an emberassing situation. If we misread it it will end on the court.
That's exactly on point! "Scared that I'm misreading" the situation is what we feel all the time, and it can be very draining and exhausting sometimes.
I'm bisexual too and dating women can be difficult. From my experience, it's a lot of indirect communication but that has also helped me to see that I should work on being more direct myself. It can be really hard to read between the lines because sometimes we see/hear what WE want and not what they are indirectly saying. lol
Well in my case i just wouldn't want to go somewhere that he wouldn't like ya know? Like oh what's your fav restaurant? Oh its a chinese one - oh i don't like Chinese
Im a guy that relates to the line "sometimes I feel like a girl doesn't like me for me she just wants a boyfriend." I had this ex girlfriend who made me feel like I was like some sort of accessory to her. It felt like she only wanted to feel what having a boyfriend is like. Not appreciating me the way I appreciate her. It's like all she does is take and I just kept giving and giving. There's no reciprocating. It was no bueno dudes.
I never understood that phrase until you explained this. I'm really sorry about that. Giving yourself is extremely exhausting especially if it isn't reciprocated. I pray that I've day you will give a young woman that you can have that connection with.
“We girls spend our investments on makeup clothes, etc, looking good for you!” Also girls: “we aren’t wearing makeup and dressing for others we are doing it for ourselves!!!”
She didn't ask me a single question about myself, sang 100% of the time we were driving (which I encouraged... to a point) and then treated me like an Alexa "play this song" over and over and over again. Went to a very nice local french pastry shop, didn't want anything and when she chose Macaroons, I asked if that was her favourite dessert, she replied "no, I tried them in Germany and I hated them". I couldn't wait for it to end, and yes, I called her out on it.
Never encourage singing in the car (unless it's you the driver). Play your favourite tunes or radio station. This is known as the Driver Rule. Passengers should be given a rule sheet upon entering the vehicle.
@@jamieshannon9809 everybody knows "my car, my tunes".MAJOR red flag! First date is her on her best behavior. Glad you got out before experiencing her worst!
The argument that the girl gets ready so men should pay is bogus. You don’t know how long a man takes to get ready. Plenty of us guys get a haircut for a date, which takes plenty of time.
When I first started speaking to women in addition to men on dating apps, I realized how infrequently they reply and felt a gross frustration with it that made me feel empathy for men and simultaneous disgust with myself 😩
I can understand that most girls would receive a lot more messages and quick responses compared to guys so sometimes they just don't have the time to respond much or write anything meaningful. But at the same time you can go back to that guy later when you have time and tell him that you were busy and try to get a convo going, instead of what most girls do is never get back to them again unless he sends multiple texts which then girls find desperate and ignores them anyway.
I’ve messaged over 55 girls after getting their Insta from their Tinder profiles over the past year. Only got 4 or 5 responses back. I always got excited with each of those responses because it virtually never happens. Only to find out that those who responded only did so to ask for guys to pay to subscribe to their cam channels. So, because they wanted something they replied and were friendly. Getting ignored was one thing, and those responding to ask for money made my already frustrated self feel worse
Bro its even worse when you’ve already smashed a girl; then she rejects you after lmfao. Then you’re like oh ok this was a 1 night stand my bad 😂😂😂 “Don’t even worry about it I’ll stop inviting you” 💔💔💔 🤧 *Cries*
@@Gravy1255 you’re probably right but I was in love after a few hours lmaoo 😂 It wasn’t just physical though I was attracted to her personality too and she was cracking jokes making me laugh which girls never do so I was like oh this girl wifey lmao 💔💔💔
I (female) paid for the first date with my current BF because I asked him out. Now we always split except for special occasions. Equality goes both ways!
It's a nice thing to do of you ,but to some men they would actually be upset , if they dont pay , It isnt about equality here I mean Its like you let them pay , to make them feel good And of course everyone is different.
I refused to let my fiancé (he’s male, I’m female) pay for any of our dates. It wasn’t until we had been together for a few months that he finally said that he would have liked it if I allowed him to pay (and not have to owe him anything for it). We now take turns, but he tends to do it more often since he keeps expressing his desire to do so. I really don’t think women should expect it, but it really depends on the person. It’s not my preference and I don’t like feeling like I need to owe someone something for paying for a date, which was how I used to feel. Paying for myself made me feel in control of the situation I was in since I didn’t need to pay back anything to the person I was on the date with. They couldn’t turn around and say “well, I paid for this so you owe me a ‘favour.’ Turns out my fiancé was not that kind of guy anyway.
If someone can't say thank you, that's a red flag. I've been on plenty of dates and ALWAYS say, 'thank you' if someone pays. I also don't let someone ever pay unless I'm truly interested.
@@Alvin_Vivian It gets harder and harder for them, once they get married, most of them blimp out... and at least here in CA, especially the Mexican girls. They get so big, their husbands roll them in flour to look for the wet spot.
I can honestly say I don't know a single man who would care if a woman didn't take time to do her makeup or hair before a date. Shower, comb your hair, yes please, but if you spend $0 on makeup the majority of men wouldn't care. Women put on makeup to compete with other women, not for men.
Exactly. I remember I invited this one girl on a date back in 2022. I got dressed to impress and she showed up in her pajamas it didn't bother me because I still found her attractive and it made me at ease with how much low maintenance her attire was. It was a good date but I had to cut her off a few months later cause she was too toxic. 😅
Observably not true - sex workers put a lot of effort into wearing makeup and feminine clothing (FFS, there's a type of heel named a 'stripper heel', even though comfort would normally take priority when pole dancing), precisely BECAUSE straight men are primarily attracted to feminine gender presentation and sex workers who perform femininity earn more money. I was absolutely shocked by how differently men treated me when I put on crappy makeup and a dress after a lifetime of having short hair, no makeup and men's clothing, and most other women I've spoken to have had the same experience.
@@katherinestanley5576 That's a tactic to not only A: advertise that you are a sex worker and B: to stand out among the competition from other women. If the sex worker was a plane Jane with no makeup and just put up a sign that said "I'm a sex worker, ask me about my pricing" I assure you that would be just as successful and she wouldn't have to pay a dime on special clothing or makeup.
@@katherinestanley5576 yes, decorations can help speed things up when after a quick booty call, but ever know them to stay on after marriage? Better to see whats there imo
What I've noticed with same gender couples like 2 females on a date is that the unspoken social construct is that even though they're both girls, it's still expected of the girl with slightly more masculine traits to pay for the date.
A female friend of mine recently told me she was going out with 3 dudes at the same time, saying she was just indecisive and enjoyed the free meals. She then told me how upset she was that one of them had started hooking up with another girl. She’s since committed to one of them, but the double standards were real.
As an Uber Driver recently pick up a girl who's have a serious discussion with her ex through her phone. She said after the call the world had given priviledge to men but it's changing for equaility. I agreed. She continued saying she was tired of trying hard to have a heatlhy relationship because the majority of men won't worth it. And then finished saying that she's choosing the guy she'll go out at the weekend because she was very stressed with her job and do not have money to go to a nice place. I remained silent because tell her some truth will give me a one star on app...
The thing I wish most from my dates is some appreciation. I really give my all to know my date and be interested in her stories, compliment her looks and try to find things we have in common. My dates often don't ask me anything about myself at all and sometimes there are litteral months between compliments I receive. I can say with confidence that a single compliment goes a mile for us men.
One experience was really funny. We sat down in the café and were talking, suddenly she says "sorry, you're not my type, I gotta go!". I was like, "uhm alright, no problem. I'll stay a little longer, I like the place". Suddenly she went from that to "uh oh, now I feel bad" I said "Oh, don't mind, it's totally okay". She stood up. Sat down. Stood up again. Looked inside her handbag. "I'll pay for everything!!!!". I said "You don't have to, I'll just relax here" 😂. Everything was so weird about it haha she was completely confused. Then she went out and I ordered something, I kinda felt funny, I was smiling all the time, because I couldn't grasp what happened.
What happened was that she was nervous, she felt a really strong repelling force but was also split between the social anxiety of being the pariah, and the maybe also regretting hurting you
Arranged marriage is the future. Nobody is happy, therefore an asset [happiness] is equally distributed disregarding merit, therefore everything is good
@@alaaye5237 It doesn't matter what gender the reader of my comment is. And if you don't know what my comment is referring to then you are either blind, live under a rock or you are just a kid.
It’s only difficult if you let it be. People don’t communicate as much and try to fix the problem they let their pride get in the way sometimes too. But that doesn’t mean everyone is like that. The best thing to do is not to ware any more time on people who aren’t willing to fix their problems
The one thing you need to understand about Men is that we dont think you spent hours getting ready to "look good for us", we think you spent hours getting ready to hide all the natural little things about you face that you dont like about yourself, because you think we dont want to see the real you
Yep, I've learned that lesson the hard way. One time I paid for $130 dollar dinner bill, and my part of it was less than $20, while listening to her complain and be abusive to the wait staff, then she says she wants someone who makes way more money than I do. Other times I've made reservations at a place for a first date. And more than once I've been stood up, and had to be humiliated when she doesn't show up. Lessons learned the hard way.
@@jimmyboy131 Yea, women don't appreciate good men. Men have to vet and screen for a women nowadays. I find that online dating is trash and meeting women in person is better. If they are 29+, walk away. Trust me, it's not worth it.
@@blackonblack...9244 Online dating is horrible, I agree. I'd say at least 90% of the ones I contact are frauds, are just looking for money or sex (I'm looking for a real relationship), and it's very discouraging. (yes, getting laid is pretty easy if that's what I'm after, but it's not) Well, I'm nearly 50 so meeting younger women in person, in today's society, is pretty much impossible unless I want to be instantly labeled a creeper, regardless of my manner and character. And meeting women my age in person, while easy to do, is another bundle of issues that I won't go into here. So the only real option I have is online dating, which, as I mentioned, is very discouraging.
yeah, men are just generic men objects to women. the only parts of you that they have any interest in are those that overlap with the template of a generic, soulless male. That's why they love men in uniform: they don't want a special snowflake, they want a factory standard
When my wife and I first started dating we had a rule. We lived about an hour away from each other. The person who drives doesn't take care of dinner and such. If I went to see her, she paid. If she went to see me, I paid. And since we alternated who saw whom, it was a very fair exchange
idk if i agree.. bc that seems too materialistic like yk you'd go to see her but she might feel like ur only there for the free dinner and vice versa. Just my opinion tho
As a straight dude, I really appreciate the perspective you’re getting, the newfound empathy ur developing for us & ur willingness and ability to express it publicly. While being fair to both women and men. And the way you dramatize these experiences is quite entertaining!
Woman: “I spent hours to get ready” Man: “I spent hours to make the money for the date” Difference is you still have the clothes and makeup after the date is over!
@@matheus_ps What is that "etc" you are talking about? My late husband used smells when he gone to work as when he dated me. He wakes up, takes a shower, brush teeth, combs his hair and puts up a smell of some sort. The only difference was that he dressed better and we had fun together. I did much more for my date with him. He looked almost the same as every day.
Tracyn I've tried to pay on dates, but my boyfriend (who I've been with for 2 years) won't let me pay because he says it'll hurt his pride. He did let me but him lunch a few times, then he said it hurt his pride and that he will never let it happen again. I find it hilarious and sweet and I'm grateful that it keeps my wallet full, it I also feel bad because I don't ever want to take advantage of him. That girl sounds like she took advantage of you though, I hope she at least said thank you.
@@briannalee1998 saying your treat or you're paying sounds like "i only want your money and i dont care about you" While generally men usually insist on paying because us men were raised in a certain way where we must always be tough confident and provide a nice house, cars, and money. And if we don't we start to feel shamed and emasculated. For example, when some little boys cry instead of having their parents ask what's wrong or why are they crying they get told "men don't cry" and get shamed for it; implying that their feelings are meaningless and shouldn't be shown. So most men feeling obligated to pay and wont mind doing so; unless, they start to feel used or its more than what they can afford.
I only tell my bf hes paying bc we've dated for 3yrs and we equally spend on money on each other. Most of the time I dont actually have to ask bc we've talked about how it would be nice to treat each other once in a while.
Brianna Lee I’ve only been with my girlfriend for a short while, but every time we go to get food or go places, she tries to pay for all of it lol. It’s not so much a pride thing with me, but I do like to be fair, so we’re working on it and paying equally now. Kinda weird because I expected her to want me to pay for everything.
"Spending hours getting ready" is a personal choice. Not sure how that equates to an expectation. I'm chivalrous so I usually do anyway, but I disagree with that as being the reason. That's silly.
This is really interesting, I didn't expect someone like you to have this perspective on dating. I wish there were more people like you in where I'm currently living.😳
When she waits till your birthday to tell you she found a new guy and that she's been upset about something for six months and that it's your own fault for not seeing the signs.
As a woman, I’ve never liked the argument of “women pay so much money and put in so much effort to look good for a date so the man should pay”. It puts so much pressure on women to always go above and beyond just for physical appearance. I like to invest my money in other things, am I wrong for doing that because as a woman it’s my job to look good for a guy? Nope. It’s not an obligation for me to spend money on makeup and it isn’t an obligation for him to pay for my dinner.
Very true. If a man would buy a 2k watch and an expensive suit for a date would he be suddenly inclinded to have his meal paid for? Of course not. No one is responsible for one person buying expensive things to look good. Both parties should pay for their own meal if they are not yet in a relationship.
@@scarletice As a man I put about 3 hours getting ready for a date. I find it strange she and the OP assume I just roll in there as if I just got out of bed or something. I don't wear makeup but I need to do everything else there, manicure, wash my hair, save, moisturize, manscape, dry my hair, trim my nose hair etc. I'm not born looking this way you know.
Since you directly asked at the end: I am a bi male, came out recently, and when I was on dating apps just for a few days listed as "femboy", I got matches with guys who had stuff like "dominant" in their profiles. And I was absolutely scared. That I wouldn't know whether they accept Nos and boundaries or go all over these. Suddenly, I could understand women very well being scared of some guys and dates.
Theoretically yes that would work.....but you'd have to be bisexual. If you don't though just look at other people's perspectives and advice and have a open mind as to how it would theoretically feel.
@@zsurvivalist7996 exactly. I've never dated a guy but I've analyzed situations involving both myself and not and put myself in their place and just really thought about how would I genuinely react. Changes your life man.
What a weird and twisted logic is this: "I make myself looking nice for you and buy expensive make up and clothes, so you can pay for the dinner as your part of the deal." like excuse me... What!? Is this how women think!?
Nope. This is how *some* women think (depending on upbringing and social circle). A LOT of us believe in paying for what you ate yourself. We are just not noticed so much because we are not the ones you have a discussion about.
As a straight woman this is the first time I heard that. I even thought she was joking. It's sad that some women do that much, but many women don't care about paying, or making up, or gender roles whatsoever. We care mostly about the person.
Seeing videos like this make me so grateful to have been married for almost 20 years. God speed to those who to face this dating world. I do not envy you,but wish you the best of luck.
"Girls take hours to get ready and makeup costs money, therefor guys should pay" Cool - so you're gonna pay for my years gym membership and educations?
also, is she gonna wipe that make-up off right after we split? who says shes not gonna let me pay, then hook up with the next guy right after walking out of the restaurant?
@GoodGirlBacklash . . . Ok, so if girls do the same thing, gym and education (keeping in mind guys will also pay for nice clothes and hygienic items to smell good) , then by that logic both should be expected to pay part of the dinner bill. All you have done in commenting this has proven the original comment point. If you both take steps in your own lives that costs money and time then you should equally be expected to pay.
When you said guys should pay the bill because women spend a lot of money on makeup and getting ready, all I thought about is how men spend tons of money on nice cars so you'll be attracted, we buy flashy clothes, nice shoes, watches, hell we even get nice phones because girls aren't into guys with flip phones because it screams they don't have money. There are a ton of things men pay for so you'll go on the date to begin with. If you want us to pay the bill, it's gotta be a good excuse instead of "I put make up on, buy me stuff"
Yup. The most attractive women want to benefit completely from their looks, but then not also be objectified for them and desired primarily for sex when that's really all most of them actually have to offer. Can't have it both ways, honey.
It’s true, a lot of guys are happy with just a t shirt and some comfy pants. But girls are more likely gonna go for the guy wearing the expensive clothes. There’s also guys who put a lot of time into their look as well though.
I had a boyfriend who would get really cold, I also get cold ( both have bad circulation) be gave me his jacket. But then he was shaking. I made him wear it after that cause although I really cold I wasn’t shaking, couldn’t have him suffer like that.
In my I was simply a convinience who drove her around, made her feel comfortable and paid for things and before i even realized that she never appreciated me or the things i did, she had found someone else
@@lotuswolf1518 how can you love or respect someone whos aim it is to exploid you, whether it is for your money or just for you to play the role they want you to play. the second aspect .. that women don't care for the guys themselves but for them to play a certain role in their lives .. is by far the heaviest observation about women. it means that the character of a guy does not matter at all.. they are completly replaceable by the next guy who is willing to play that particular role... and sadly it is a common observation guys make. that attitude is not to be respected at all.
@You need magnesium. the girls i encountered were no gold diggers, they were ordinary girls. my "data" is aquired by observing them and others girls. also, it should be clear to you that comments like that use generalizations .. because otherwise noone would ever get to the point.
I'm uncomfortable with the hypocricy with being dumped in relationships. Rihanna (who I adore) unceremoniously dumps her rich boyfriend because she was 'bored' and she recieved praise online, she's a KWEEEEN. But if a guy dumped his gf suddenly because he too was 'bored', he would be labeled an emotionally unavailable man with a lack of empathy by these same insecure women 💁🏾♀️🙃
Couldn't have said it better myself, we should all be equally accountable to our actions, and nobody should band together cause they are the same gender/race etc, Rather, based on the charactor of their heart
I once went on a date with a girl, she offered to pay and I was like "That would be great actually, thank you. I can get the next one" (this was our fourth date and the first time she suggested) She proceeds to say "No, you're paying for it. I only offered to be polite, not to actually pay"
@EL JAY No, I didn't. It wasn't too terribly expensive which is why I was willing to let her However, I did let her other "Guy" friends know about this and practically all of them ghosted her. Twas very satisfying
@@davidbolha Like I said before, I paid because it wasn't too expensive (wanna say like $30) and was also trying to avoid more drama, but I did tell all of her guy friends and she was left without a guy in her life. She bitched about it on insta for like a week😂
@@ancientparadox2084 same with women when they say they used "make up for like an hour" as a entitlement reason to not pay the date🥱 Like bruh nobody asked you to put a chunk of make up for an hour cuz of your own insecurities 💀it's not our problem if you feel like that lmao
One quick note on this. The line I said "the amount of kisses promised didn't equal the amount of kisses delivered" can be interpreted as problematic and I want to clarify that ANYONE HAS THE RIGHT TO REVOKE CONSENT AT ANY TIME. I just thought it was a funny thing to say, and was bummed that we didn't make out cause she was very pretty & intelligent. However I am not entitled to anyone's body, and they are free to not make out with my face if they don't want to anymore. In this specific situation, I think we were both merely afraid to make the first move, but want to clarify for those who may take it in the way it isn't intended to be: just a funny little line I thought of.
The sad part is that you had to put this disclaimer for the minority of people who don't think you know what consent is. The rest of us get it. You made a joke. P.S. welcome to the darkside.
Now you experience the wlw problem of no one making the first move ever because women have been socialised to "be pursued" and not do the pursuing lest we be sluts.
My dating women made me realise what a low, low bar men have in a relationship (I.e. don't be an arse). My bar for dating women was much higher, until I realised this and adjusted my bar for men 😊
Because she was intelligent? Righhht..........🙄
Hi Anna, I'm glad you clarified it, even though I personally never felt that you honestly meant it in any problematic way. I decided to comment on it above, because it to me is an interesting topic that is both scary and tremendously important to show both or several sides of, and I'm glad that me and some of my fellow commentors are getting the chance to share our opinions on the matter.
You certainly shouldn't feel like you have to censor yourself going forward, just because one of your jokes sparked a discussion. Just the fact that you're willing to share some of your honest, spur of the moment feelings that might be thought of as questionable in hindsight, means that your channel is a space where you and your viewers can discuss complicated matters, even when there may be a bit of controversy. To me, that's beyond awesome and thank you for providing that! :)
@@EaglePlaneAnchor people can be attracted to other people just because of their intelligence or talent more than their appearance.
"I don't feel like she likes me for me, she just wants a boyfriend" oh the accuracy!
@Thelondonbadger 😂
And sometimes …. "boyfriend" = "boyfriend's wallet"
You can turn that around as well.
I didn’t get this one
Correction, she just wants a "guy friend". Aka he will have to stear clear if some other guy she likes hits on her and have to be a bodyguard if someone she doesn't like hits on her.
After talking about paying on dates. I sent a message to my date that I am thankful that he paid for it and now I will be more aware about it.
And that will make a big impression on him. You will stand out in his mind. Men like to feel important and appreciated too.
👏👏👏
Take this like
Viktorija Putriute I always do this even if I don’t like the guy and with my girlfriends. It’s a great gesture.
So you didn't even thank him for paying for your food in the moment it happened? wow.
"Doesn't offer to pay"
"Doesn't say thank you"
"Never hear from her again"
This is just too perfect
This is one of those moments where I understand why old bitter guys in literally every facet of life laugh at the newbie who got the same treatment they did
The holy trinity of dating gold diggers
Lmfao she’s only felt 1% of what men feel . Let that sink in.
When u get this kind of one-sided interactions, be rude! Express her or his faultiness or live with the leash/ an imbalanced relationship without a clue for happiness!
Lol
Boomer here. Back in the 80s, being feminist meant that you were independent and responsible. Most of the time, you went Dutch and paid your portion of expenses because being independent meant you didnʻt want to be bought. On a first date, it was typical that the person who made the invitation paid for everything. If the other person wanted to pay part of it, there was no big deal about it. Thatʻs what being equal means.
I probably don't know other country's dating cultures and I saw 2 comments mentioning being Dutch meant you split the bill. What does being Dutch have to do with splitting the bill?
@mariustan9275 probably a saying 'going dutch'
@@mariustan9275 I think it is a running stereotype that the Dutch are somewhat stingy.
Actually it may have been from Pennsylvania Dutch with the idea of "bringing your own food" and essentially paying for your share.
That's not equal at all. Men are expected to approach in the overwhelming number of cases. Saying "it was typical that the person who made the invitation paid for everything" is the literal equivalent of saying it's expected that men pay for everything, all the time, forever. There is literally not one thing equal about that. And no, putting on fakeup so you can pretend you're an 8/10 instead of a 6/10 ISN'T recompense for this, it's actually a net negative that I wish wasn't even legal.
I went on a date with this one girl and she stayed on her phone the whole time. So I finished my food quick, Went to the register paid for my half of the meal and left.
That’s the way it should be done
My man !
LOL NICE ONE!! WHAT WAS HER REACTION!?😀😂😭😭😭
@@Niniisaac didn't stick around to find out
You sir are a hero
When you go out with the homies just to chill everyone pitches in and if one is broke at the moment we got him. That’s bro code
This is the way.
God dame right BRO CODE
51/50 we live by that. If I got it and you don't we both eat good. If you got it and I don't we still eating good. Shout out to all the homies that live like this. #SquadOverMoney Any day!
This is the most realistic dating females I have ever heard 😂😂😂
So anna aconda are you still dating women or did you go back to men? 😂🍪
lol girl that is just the demo wait for the full package with hits like :
- I cheated on you and it was your fault.
- I will be angry all the day and never tell you the reason.
- My best friend partner does (insert X) for her.
- I will give clear hints that im totally into you and the next day treat you as a total stranger.
And my favorite:
- I don't want to be with you but also don't want to see you with anyone else.
You forgot about he zodiac girls, gotta watch out for them
You forgot: "but you make more money than me, why should i have to help with rent?"
I got the first one.
Some of this stuff is actually more common of guys, but I think you're just describing sucky people.
Luis Ah, track 5. That takes me back to high school
Whats stuck with me the most out of any relationship is what my last ex said was her reason for breaking up.
She said "You are just too stable". That one statement has literaly destroyed any desire to put myself out there again. I just cant understand what that even means.
it means you're not the exciting toxic bad boy that these women pretend they don't want.
It means you dodged a bullet. The problem ain't you.
What the hell is even "you are just too stable" supposed to mean?
That's exactly how men have behaved throughout the entire history. How do you like your bs being thrown back at you, men?
You dodged a nuclear armed ballistic missile, friend.
I feel like she just used me for a free meal
All men in Ace Ventura voice: Reeeeaaaalllllyyyyyyy
Like a glovvvvvvvvvve
@@fixer1140 Allllllrigghty then
😂
That so true.
When the date ends poorly: "Down, Bubba!"
Pro tip for dating women: if a girl turns you down because she's "too complicated for you," you dodged a bullet
Pro tip for dating women: if a girl turns you down, you dodged a bullet
@Fantassin de Guillaulme LOL
Pro tip: if you get turned down multiple times, you're in the Matrix cause only Neo could dodge that many bullets
Well said!!!
Don't worry, there's still a good chance on the next one.
Dating for women is like shopping, dating for men is like a job interview.
This is soooo true
TAKE EM TO CHURCH 👌
LEMME GET AN AMEN!!!
That they pay for
In a way it is
Two men on a date.
Check arrives.
Pays double.
“I got it bro”
“Nah bro don’t worry about it”
*riot breaks out*
The waiter would be so happy with the tip.
That sounded sexual.
Take it or leave it
@@yvngnova8949 man, that happens a lot in Canada lol
@Cameron Bell I know the feeling bro. He better stay down
You've barely scratched the surface. The rabbit-hole goes deeper than you can ever imagine.
Its like alice in wonderland
I dated alice
Im dead is true tho
Tadgh Smith I’m high and this slaps.
Rest assured, I’ve been there as well.
Imagine what she will feel when she realizes the first time a man gets flowers is at his funeral.
Damn, this is profound
Dang bro, this stings
You just made me have a goal. When I date a man the first week of us being together id give him flowers. And occasionally do so.
@@mintycokies8057 u a keeper
Dude… that’s deep.
two girls on a date when the check arrives: confused screaming
two guys on a date when the check arrives: im paying for it! no, let me pay for it!
And endup in a epic bar fight, about who wins pay the ckeck.
That's something we can except
What's funny is my boyfriend and I kinda had this for a while hahaha
We decided to do swapsies so we could both spoil the other 😂
Gotta be honest, both girls sitting on the couch talking for hours waiting for the other girl to make the first move is funny as hell.
Yep.
xd
Could you imagine how long it would take a lesbian couple to pick where they want to get food or anything really?!
@@BUSTERy going into assumption like: "all girls are the same" is not healthy and this is low key sexism
@@magieenvtuber9783 relax... He probably meant a lesbian couple like this two girls and was trying to make a joke
"the amount of kisses promised didn't equal the amount of kisses delivered" haha I love this 😂
Now imagine a guy saying that, and watch all the alarm bells go off.
@@multeyemeteor ikr
multeyemeteor i don’t get why you’re mad about it? That’s literally at the bottom of the list on world problems
@@yayo0 Don't worry, I'm not mad about it at all. :)
[Warning: Wall of text incoming]
I can see how it could come off as that, but the point that I didn't make, but which kind of goes along with my comment is that, while (as a guy) it's great to see that Anna is acknowledging that empowerment isn't the same as equality, and that gender roles still very much exist in modern dating, but that we should also still be careful not to confuse expectations with entitlements.
And secondly that everyone here (including me) finds it adorable, when Anna said "the amount of kisses promised didn't equal the amount of kisses delivered", but if a man had said it, everyone here (including me) would find it borderline predatory. But there's no outrage in this observation, I feel everyone has the right to change their mind, as much as everyone else has the right to feel disappointed, as long as it stays at that.
It was just an observation, which I'm not entirely sure what to do with yet. :)
multeyemeteor in what way is it borderline predatory?
I once dated a girl that made fun of me for having “childish” hobbies. I first didn’t think much about that fact but soon she started make fun of everything I said (even if the things I told her were like absolute 100% facts!) At that time I thought she was just innocently pranking me. But then I noticed that every time we meet she uses any excuse to joke that I was dumb and she is smart. Then I got to know she was really insecure about her not being able to finish college and working as a cashier while me being a university graduate and working as a software developer. Needles to say I got fed up with her attitude and dumped her.
Right now I’m married to the love of my life - and she is a huge nerd for lego and Warhammer 40k just like me.
What I got out of my bad experience in dates - don’t waste your time on people that don’t want to respect your hobbies!
Somehow I knew, instantly, when I read 'childish' it would be 40k. No shame, obviously, Warhammer is life.
@@crowlypa
For the Emperor! lol
Lego and Warhammer 40k? Holy shet that's a double bonus
@@dantesparda4493
Yup! Exactly!
Also we play as a team in overwatch and in HOTS (it’s like dota only by Blizzard)
Mate The Emperor protects !
This argument with "hours to get ready" and "makeup is expensive" is such a bs. No one is forcing you to do that
Ya I agree.
My gf doesn’t even wear makeup.
Also that's not the reason man are supposed to pay for dates, the reason is that women used to have no money since they didn't work so ghe man was supposed to pay, femminism made chivalry obsolete
I mean it's not their fault for being ugly without makeup 😂
Like they would prefer not to do all that s***.
Don't listen to what wimin say, it's all bs.
Exactly. Men usually don't even about that stuff as much. Women just assume men care about it because women care about it.
Just another example of: "Its not real until it happens to you." - Human Beings 101
Huge statement
Yep... the simple idea of putting yourself in the other person's position brings an epiphany of clarity. This should have been realized by women long ago!
@@jimnapier7087 never should expect anyone (male or female) to empathize in your circumstances. We are human. And she is still a women regardless if she sleeps with other women. She has the same tendencies and DNA imprint. They cannot empathize with our struggles just like we cannot empathize with their struggles. This is why I believe it is not coming from a genuine place. Even her disclaimer shows its in her DNA.
Cannot...stop...pounding...like button!
U preachin out here
"I feel like she just used me for a free meal"
Men: "only 1 free meal? You go off light."
Hell yes. I was used for a baby. Currently half way through 18 years of payments... 🙄
@@porticoman damn. That's sad..
James Franco: "First time?"
"You gotta pump those numbers up. Those are rookie numbers."
@@porticoman so glad i married a woman who can't get pregnant. still together 21 years later.
Girl: dating women is so hard
Guys: did you just understand me?
More like
Guys:" Modern women are still capable of empathy?"
king_ Tesseract they lost it during evolution
@@Mikaiah72 I'm sorry, I have to do this.
*per se
It is a Latin term that means 'itself' ' or more modernly, 'intrinsically.' Just wanted to let you know since you did use it correctly.
@@Mikaiah72 Thats probably where my problem comes from, I don't mind doing most things but I need my companion to be able to do some things herself. (Coming from a house hold where no one knew anything and kinda just complained for things to happen save my Ma who honestly had the pants in the family lmao)
I’m the thousandth like this feels so special
What’s funny is how surprising these realizations always are to women, rather than a relatively obvious or automatic extension of empathic understanding by the sex that usually claims to be so much more naturally in tune with others emotionally
They are more in tune with the emotions of people they can relate to, and that’s a small subset of people.
Personally, I see a lot of them as very fake.
What makes you ascribe elevated empathy to women in the first place?
"...when I came out as bi..."
Y-A-W-N...
@@EditioCastigata I believe they are claiming that women (falsely) ascribe it to themselves.
We don't particularly claim so. Society claims it about us. And then, we take over than idea as it is one of the very few positives society is associating with women.
Both sexes are capable of empathy to the same degree and both can refuse to participate in it. In reality, we are really not that different, we are much more similar on many levels than it might seem at first glance because guess what?
We are all human.
It’s so rare that men receive any ounce of sympathy or compassion for the roles that we play in our day to day lives. This was a refreshing point of view. Keep doing what ya do!
I just don't get why anyone would bother with women like that...
Very rare. Most women have zero empathy or appreciation for men. Women see men as objects to use and dispose of.
I'm sorry guys, I was the 70th like.
Jacob Smith lmao keep the likes coming. Everybody should know that you are not alone in feeling alone. Stay strong and push forward
@@hithere605 since I broke the 69, I'll be waiting for the 6969th like!
Date Tip: Show her your Bionicle collection. If she’s willing to go on another date with you she’s a keeper.
Friend tip: slap your friend if he still has Bionicle, and tell him to get into gunpla
I lost all my Bionicles...
How do you get in your house on the first date tho
Until she takes the Bionicles in the divorce.
Jri Sparks Ask her, “Wanna see my Bionicles?”
Learning of the Day:
1. Most women (not all) won't care about men's complaints unless they experience them themselves.
2. The best way for women to listen to men's complaints is if they are said by other women.
Think about that.
(By the way, personally, I've never had those specific problems. I've been blessed to meet extraordinary women, but I have friends who have).
Women will hear this from another women and still disregard it. You give them too much credit
This is kind of just a basic truth of human nature. It's difficult to empathize with something when you've never experienced something similar. You might be able to understand it academically, but really internalizing something is much harder to do without relevant experience.
I remember reading this really interesting article about a white guy who wanted to research white privilege. So he underwent a procedure that would leave his skin darkened for about a month with the intention of experiencing what it feels like to be black. The guy after only a few days he abandoned the study, staying inside until the treatment wore off because he constantly felt like he was in danger.
There are countless examples of this sort of unintentional bias. The rich fail to truly empathize with the average person's issues. The average person fails to truly empathize with the impoverished. The able-bodied fail to truly empathize with the disabled. Everyone that breaks a limb for the first time realizes this one to some degree. You never really appreciated your off-hand until you realize that you can't sharpen your pencil one-handed. You never truly appreciate your ability to walk until you realize just how many places are rendered inaccessible by a three inch ledge or a narrow passageway when you are in a wheelchair. There are plenty of emotional examples too. It's really easy to think the whole "don't date a your friend's ex" taboo is overblown until it happens to you and you are shocked by how much it actually bothers you. It's easy to think you understand what it feels like to lose someone close to you until it actually happens and you realize you never truly got it until before then.
I guess my point is that it's important to keep in mind that this sort of bias isn't exclusive to any group of people.
yeah, that's why i almost never talk my problem to my girl friends. They just won't get it.
To be fair, the other way around is also true. I think generally a lot of people have a hard time to accept that their personal experience isn't universal.
@@scarletice nah only women cant fathom a mans issues and concerns. Women are the least empathetic of the sexes
Just wait, soon you'll get hit with:
You: "Where do you want to eat?"
Them: "Anywhere is good."
You: "Okay, we'll eat at _______."
Them: *passive aggressive sigh*
@Thelondonbadger I wish I knew how true this was.
I just stopped giving them a choice. It made it easier on me. I got to eat what I wanted to eat and they got to go out to dinner and have a free meal. If they paid or did half that was a bonus (most women I dated did). Women hate having to make decisions, for whatever reason that may be. So take their agency out of the equation in that instance and take them where you want to go.
😂😂😂😂
Dcftomm i was gonna say something to agree but your comment made my laugh xD lol props
Thelondonbadger make sure you have no ice cream so that you get them under control anyway they don’t make the decisions around here
The problem in situation a is that She asked u Out, that means She paying
Splitting would be fine cause your phone is basically a calculator
I've been asked out and always payed
@@mtsEnrique u got played
@@limweimin3250 that too
lol - "Hi. Would you like to pay for din--- I mean go to dinner sometime?"
Just wait till she ghosts you only to reappear when she sees you talking to other girls
or dumps you for someone she thinks is better only to come back after you when they dump her for someone better XD
@@Redd_Nebula That's when you hit her with the "cry me a river"
@@pandawarrior218_8 I did, there are too many guys with no self esteem that would take her back if they were in my position though :/
this is golden
Yup love that move. And then I say new phone who dis?
"Girls take hours to get ready for a date."
Like guys just roll out of bed pimpin'.
Well, I do. Don't know whats up with the rest of yall. Do I need the /s?
@@VinceA-jq6ds Do you have any sleep-based muscle and confidence building tips for us plebs? xD
People that do the "/s" thing are super cringe
@@garden_dork sadly it is needed b/c many just miss the sarcasm.
@@garden_dorkAnd sadly, people who think the "/s thing" is cringe are even cringier
Anna: Now I understand men
Men: *singing* We're all in this together!
Trying to find a good name for this
Lmfao 🤣🤣🤣🤣😭💀⚰️
😅
High school musical lmao
I see Warframe reference
I'm a middle aged guy and I have a lesbian friend who is older than me and she has a lifetime of experience dating women. I really enjoy chatting with her because her stories of getting burned by manipulative women are basically the same as my stories of getting burned by manipulative women!
We're on the same team after all!
Probably similar for people who date manipulative men and get burned by them, though, right?
Lesbians who divorce (and there are a lot of them) list the same reasons for doing so that straight women do. It's just double the probability that one of them will feel that way.
"never try and understand women. Women understand women and they HATE each other!" ~ Al Bundy
@@Tiger74147Lesbians make the best bros
I love when girls say wearing make up and clothes is their "contribution" to the date. Like presenting your best when you are on a date isn't just basic and is on both ends.
I pay money for myself to look good so you need to spend money on my food
There no basic respect amongst these females
Plus she just objectified herself with that statement.
Exactly. Men also pay for their nice clothes, haircuts, they take time grooming their hair and their facial hair, and spend money on quality colognes, beard oils, etc. Presenting yourself well isn't "your contribution to the date". It's for making a good impression on your date.
@@diogenes8272 Don't forget working out and going to the gym for a aesthetic physique.
This is why when I was dating a first date was pretty much a free walk in the park and ice cream with conversation. A pro tip from a big brother of mine. It’s an easy filter
I'm a straight woman and I think women can be flat out emotionally cruel to men, far more than they are comfortable admitting. When I watch my dad's partner (not my mother fyi) mock everything he does, the fact that he's bald, the fact he has a belly now, this is wrong, that is wrong... it's scratching the surface of emotional abuse at times and you know it would never, ever be tolerated the other way round. I think men have to swallow a LOT of things down.
I am not a pick me girl or anything like that, but i agree some women can really be flat out horrible with men.
Yea, I always saw my dad apologies to my mom after an argument, never ever the other way around.
Men (or women) don’t HAVE to swallow anything. They choose to because they believe they can only find a partner if they continue tradition.
I hear men complain about their wives and say women are crazy all the time. I don’t think women are crazy. I think men don’t have high enough standards and women don’t respect themselves enough to be higher quality women. Most men do most of the work: Talking to the woman, getting her on a date, paying for the date, paying for the wedding, buying the ring, etc. But it doesn’t have to be that way. It should be equal. Women have wanted equality for a long time, but what about signing a prenup or splitting the bill on every date or approaching the man of their dreams in public instead of watching him walk away to never see him again and waiting for some guy to talk to them first because they’re “shy.”
Keep in mind the whole movement of guys who have started going out just to talk to random women to get get rid of the fear of rejection and finally have sex and possible love in their life. Most men are still doing most of the work. It’s time for a change. I wonder what would happen if no men approached women and refused to pay for anything unless the woman payed for the other half.
@@bgos4727 those "some" are starting to grow more these days
@@bgos4727 the fact that you have to clarify "I'm not a pick-me" proves how horribly toxic the female attitude to men often is. You have to clarify you're not just saying something for attention because other women (I've seen men do it but usually women) will call you a pick-me for daring to have some compassion for a guy.
I think that people have just to split the bill. No matter what gender
Lol
If a guy can't pay for dinner he shouldn't be taking anyone to dinner and work on trying to make more money
I disagree. Girls and guys have equal rights now, meaning a girl finally has the opportunity to make as much money as a guy.
Guys and girls, or guys and guys, or girls and girls, should just split the bill. Easy and done
@@giftedwolf6671 Yes, I agree. When I go on a date I always split the bill. I think it is kinda weird that women expect for men to pay on a first date.
a lot of the time my husband covers meals because he makes more money than me. bills are split down the middle, though. 👍👍
I knew my girlfriend was a keeper when I asked her out for our first date and she said “that sounds great but I am broke right now, how about next week?” Lol
Mutated Pearl lmaoo
8 years and still gong strong, she is my best friend and I love spending as much time with her as I can 😁
Aww 😍
give her a big hug from me. She's financially and emotionally stable marriage material and that is rare. If you want you can grab her butt during the hug. up to you.
@@chrisl7228 marry her bro
Gave up dating at 40. 55 now. 15 years of peace and relative happiness. Ahhhhhhhh.
I'm 40, never dated anyone... used to be depressed. Now I tell myself - why worry? I can as well be single and happy.
I'm 30 and just give up also. Almost marry with the wrong one and now I kind of can see their nature and feel no obliged in participate in this game anymore... I'm happy alone and like to use my whole energy for myself.
It has always been extremely difficult for me to understand all these rituals associated with romantic relationships. Then I just stopped trying. And my life got better.
Much better
same lol. i haven't think about dating for the last 2 years and my life is actually going better. Less time sulking about dates, or thinking about being lonely.
The most opened apps for the last 2 years? Games. Haven't checked tinder and such for almost a year.
Heck, I even woke up at 6 everyday due to less overthinking at 2AM.
People need to stop thinking of what are the rituals and starting to think what they want. Simple communication through the date is enough to understand what type of person are you meeting with. If they are not ok with splitting the bill from the very beginning, simply cut the date short! You know you don't like the attitude of that person already so why suffer for next couple of hours? Just communicate clearly with them and a normal person will really appreciate it. If they don't, they're not worth your time.
@@KoeSeer are you ok with being alone for the rest of your life
@@Anaryen91 That's what I always do. It's not the best if they lie or hide things (plus I am WAY too forgiving), but there have been a few people that I opened up to and was honest about everything from the very beginning/beforehand, it easily removed anyone who became a shitty person because of it.
I have no idea why this is in my recommendations for UA-cam. But you just got yourself a new subscriber
chayse choyce
Awesome profile pic
Samee
chayse choyce same here
Pretty much
Same 😂
Don't take a girl to dinner on a first date, go for a coffee.
I drink 🎗☕🇺🇸 Black Rifle Coffee Co... no go for coffee 🙄... maybe with someone I knew & needed to kill time...
THIS
Rebis some girls will be grateful and remember to say thank you.
@@briannalee1998
Not overly fond of this. Guys are getting told to treat women two different ways.
Treat women as equals!
But you should still treat them differently when it benefits women.
I also don't buy Anna's "We spend time to look pretty so you should pay for dinner" rational.
The whole thing makes it seem like I have to pay for a women's time.
Yep. I feel like a first date should be getting to know someone, NOT impressing. I'd never dress up for a first date because I feel it's fake. You're putting on this persona that isn't you on a regular basis.
Here in germany, it´s all quite the opposite. Women don´t want to eat on the first date - i actually never had dinner with any of them, not even the one i currently date for 6 weeks now. And for everything where we have to pay for something, they always want to split checks. And when i try to pay without asking them if they want to split checks, they get really annoyed.
And the women i date often make a shitload more money than i do. They just don´t care. None of them ever asked for my salary.
The stuff that happens in the US really isn´t normal.
no its not, and is cause US men to look for mates overseas where they are less entitled.
I am from Germany too and yes, I assumed there would depend a lot on local culture too. It is also not expaected for men to pay for the woman on a first date either.
Still, the other problems are true in Germany as well. My GF is bi and she also says that dating women is much more complicated and that she is always afraid and super nervous about dates with other women but not with men.
Germany is an outlier, the 3rd world isn't any better in this regard
@@malakarvonstroheim5372 the USA is the outler. Every other country has a better dating system
@@Gromic2k Then how come girls in 3rd world countries are not much different than this?
I'm a bisexual woman and I find dating other women really hard because I feel like in most cases, they don't express their wants. Even if there are some hints, I'm just scared that I'm misreading the situation.
"I'm just scared that I'm misreading the situation" exactly like guys exept if you misread it it might just comes of as an emberassing situation. If we misread it it will end on the court.
If women stated what they want guys would have less trouble. I digress
That's exactly on point! "Scared that I'm misreading" the situation is what we feel all the time, and it can be very draining and exhausting sometimes.
I'm bisexual too and dating women can be difficult. From my experience, it's a lot of indirect communication but that has also helped me to see that I should work on being more direct myself. It can be really hard to read between the lines because sometimes we see/hear what WE want and not what they are indirectly saying. lol
Oof yeah, women tend to be too polite to say what they want lmao 😂
I’m guilty of this if I’m not familiar with the person
Did not even think you were making a sexual pun, since you know your a crazy cat lady.
@@isabellajohnston1923 but she is crazy for cats.
you’re*
And she didn't use the p word
Wesly Vargas you’re**
@Pip Jackson There** grammar** you're*** it's**
"I Don't Know" = Most women's favorite restaurant.
I'm also indecisive as hell
I'm a woman and your joke is funny af 😂
You should open that restaurant... I'd go there every time she says, "I don't know..."
Well in my case i just wouldn't want to go somewhere that he wouldn't like ya know? Like oh what's your fav restaurant? Oh its a chinese one - oh i don't like Chinese
@@xokelis0015 if someone actually made a restaurant with this name they would make bank. The complete trolling and irony would be great !
When my bisexual daughter said that she will never date a woman again because of how women treat others I just laughed so hard.
I would to women are backstabbers it is hard to trust them to be your friend. I'm saying this as a woman myself.
Im a guy that relates to the line "sometimes I feel like a girl doesn't like me for me she just wants a boyfriend."
I had this ex girlfriend who made me feel like I was like some sort of accessory to her. It felt like she only wanted to feel what having a boyfriend is like. Not appreciating me the way I appreciate her. It's like all she does is take and I just kept giving and giving. There's no reciprocating. It was no bueno dudes.
Why tf would you commit to that lol she would have lost me at the 2nd check she didnt pick up
adriel bryce I relate to this on a spiritual level
Been there. I want to go back in time and slap myself for not getting out of that relationship sooner.
@@strenifstrecs2551 subscribe my dude. took me a year to realise that.
I never understood that phrase until you explained this. I'm really sorry about that. Giving yourself is extremely exhausting especially if it isn't reciprocated. I pray that I've day you will give a young woman that you can have that connection with.
“We girls spend our investments on makeup clothes, etc, looking good for you!”
Also girls: “we aren’t wearing makeup and dressing for others we are doing it for ourselves!!!”
Oof. Too loud
You hit the nail on the head with that observation!
So true 😆
she was talking about on a date, not in regular life.
Correction one girl this is one girl
She didn't ask me a single question about myself, sang 100% of the time we were driving (which I encouraged... to a point) and then treated me like an Alexa "play this song" over and over and over again. Went to a very nice local french pastry shop, didn't want anything and when she chose Macaroons, I asked if that was her favourite dessert, she replied "no, I tried them in Germany and I hated them". I couldn't wait for it to end, and yes, I called her out on it.
and what happened when you called her out on the BS????
Never encourage singing in the car (unless it's you the driver). Play your favourite tunes or radio station. This is known as the Driver Rule. Passengers should be given a rule sheet upon entering the vehicle.
Where are u and gf from
@@jamieshannon9809 everybody knows "my car, my tunes".MAJOR red flag! First date is her on her best behavior. Glad you got out before experiencing her worst!
This is so sad
Hypocrite
Human shame
And I bet she is some "new age/feminist girl"
The argument that the girl gets ready so men should pay is bogus. You don’t know how long a man takes to get ready. Plenty of us guys get a haircut for a date, which takes plenty of time.
When I first started speaking to women in addition to men on dating apps, I realized how infrequently they reply and felt a gross frustration with it that made me feel empathy for men and simultaneous disgust with myself 😩
Rough. What else happened?
I can understand that most girls would receive a lot more messages and quick responses compared to guys so sometimes they just don't have the time to respond much or write anything meaningful. But at the same time you can go back to that guy later when you have time and tell him that you were busy and try to get a convo going, instead of what most girls do is never get back to them again unless he sends multiple texts which then girls find desperate and ignores them anyway.
I’ve messaged over 55 girls after getting their Insta from their Tinder profiles over the past year. Only got 4 or 5 responses back. I always got excited with each of those responses because it virtually never happens. Only to find out that those who responded only did so to ask for guys to pay to subscribe to their cam channels. So, because they wanted something they replied and were friendly. Getting ignored was one thing, and those responding to ask for money made my already frustrated self feel worse
Al B and it seems that ALL of the ones I messaged were like that. Bummer
Thank-you!!! It's ridiculous out Here and doesn't make you feel good @ all... 😢😩😰
She missed the most important one.... having to be the one to ask the girl out and getting rejected.
had that my whole life, thats why i dont bother anymore
Bro its even worse when you’ve already smashed a girl; then she rejects you after lmfao. Then you’re like oh ok this was a 1 night stand my bad 😂😂😂
“Don’t even worry about it I’ll stop inviting you” 💔💔💔 🤧 *Cries*
@@doom-driveneap4569 if you bang a girl day 1 yall probably shouldn't date.
@@Gravy1255 you’re probably right but I was in love after a few hours lmaoo 😂
It wasn’t just physical though I was attracted to her personality too and she was cracking jokes making me laugh which girls never do so I was like oh this girl wifey lmao 💔💔💔
@@doom-driveneap4569 I guess she is a actually a nice girl but had some rough time lately and was just looking for some good time
Girls: this is so hard!!
Boys: *this is normal.*
This isnt even half chub
-Ghandi
Not normal, easy
True.
Man learns to endure. Women find someone who will do for her
@@haroldlemar5569 i meant its normal for a man to have it tough when dating, one mistake and boom ur dumped
@@SebastiansSebastian-fc4pj ahh yes, the same Gandhi who nuke my country to oblivion in the late game
I heard this a while back, and I forget where I heard it. "Who pays for the date?" "Whomever askes the other person."
Exactly. That is actually part of etiquette. That's the problem, modern day people threw etiquette out of the window!😂😂😂
Yes they did.
50 cent said that on an interview
Thank you for clearing that up.
@@pringles_mcgee fair point.
I (female) paid for the first date with my current BF because I asked him out. Now we always split except for special occasions. Equality goes both ways!
Never been on a date 😂but I agree with the logic or splitting the bill or who ever plans pays.
Or just straight up equity lol
You asked him out, so that's different.
It's a nice thing to do of you ,but to some men they would actually be upset , if they dont pay ,
It isnt about equality here I mean Its like you let them pay , to make them feel good
And of course everyone is different.
I refused to let my fiancé (he’s male, I’m female) pay for any of our dates. It wasn’t until we had been together for a few months that he finally said that he would have liked it if I allowed him to pay (and not have to owe him anything for it). We now take turns, but he tends to do it more often since he keeps expressing his desire to do so.
I really don’t think women should expect it, but it really depends on the person. It’s not my preference and I don’t like feeling like I need to owe someone something for paying for a date, which was how I used to feel. Paying for myself made me feel in control of the situation I was in since I didn’t need to pay back anything to the person I was on the date with. They couldn’t turn around and say “well, I paid for this so you owe me a ‘favour.’ Turns out my fiancé was not that kind of guy anyway.
We are searching for that simple girl who says “Thank you so much, I had a great time with you!” when we pay. We are often not appreciated on dates.
I hope you find her soon ❤️ good luck
Speak for yourself. I'm looking for a girl who still pulls her own weight regardless. Talk is cheap.
@@Alvin_Vivian I test for gratefulness on the first date. If women can test, so should we.
If someone can't say thank you, that's a red flag. I've been on plenty of dates and ALWAYS say, 'thank you' if someone pays. I also don't let someone ever pay unless I'm truly interested.
@@Alvin_Vivian It gets harder and harder for them, once they get married, most of them blimp out... and at least here in CA, especially the Mexican girls. They get so big, their husbands roll them in flour to look for the wet spot.
these problems can easily be solved by not dating people
@ComocosonoEWL Beastiality. 😂😂🤣🤣😏😏👍👍😃😀
@ComocosonoEWL That's not cool man. That's not cool. 🤣🤣
ComocosonoEWL I mean I thought it was cats
@ComocosonoEWL yea there are whole tubes with that cathegory and it's awesome
@ComocosonoEWL ya you heard...which means blatant gossip, mind your business bro..
I can honestly say I don't know a single man who would care if a woman didn't take time to do her makeup or hair before a date. Shower, comb your hair, yes please, but if you spend $0 on makeup the majority of men wouldn't care. Women put on makeup to compete with other women, not for men.
Exactly. I remember I invited this one girl on a date back in 2022. I got dressed to impress and she showed up in her pajamas it didn't bother me because I still found her attractive and it made me at ease with how much low maintenance her attire was. It was a good date but I had to cut her off a few months later cause she was too toxic. 😅
Yes aas aa guy that's true.
Observably not true - sex workers put a lot of effort into wearing makeup and feminine clothing (FFS, there's a type of heel named a 'stripper heel', even though comfort would normally take priority when pole dancing), precisely BECAUSE straight men are primarily attracted to feminine gender presentation and sex workers who perform femininity earn more money. I was absolutely shocked by how differently men treated me when I put on crappy makeup and a dress after a lifetime of having short hair, no makeup and men's clothing, and most other women I've spoken to have had the same experience.
@@katherinestanley5576 That's a tactic to not only A: advertise that you are a sex worker and B: to stand out among the competition from other women. If the sex worker was a plane Jane with no makeup and just put up a sign that said "I'm a sex worker, ask me about my pricing" I assure you that would be just as successful and she wouldn't have to pay a dime on special clothing or makeup.
@@katherinestanley5576 yes, decorations can help speed things up when after a quick booty call, but ever know them to stay on after marriage? Better to see whats there imo
Wait until you hear "Thank you for dinner and drinks. You're a really nice guy. But..."
Rs
Lmao real
Hit me on a spiritual level
Oh don't get me started on that bullshit. OH HELL NO!!!!!!!!!
*Vietnam flashbacks*
The idea of two women going on a date and just staring at the check is lowkey hilarious 😂 almost as funny as her not paying when SHE asked YOU out 💀
What I've noticed with same gender couples like 2 females on a date is that the unspoken social construct is that even though they're both girls, it's still expected of the girl with slightly more masculine traits to pay for the date.
She must've seen her as the masculine stud in that situation.
Ew 🥴
YES - like neither have any idea what to do at this point. "WOW that cheque is not paying itself, whats wrong...?"
@@Young_Dab Wow...that's interesting, tbh. Never would ahve thought of that.
A female friend of mine recently told me she was going out with 3 dudes at the same time, saying she was just indecisive and enjoyed the free meals.
She then told me how upset she was that one of them had started hooking up with another girl.
She’s since committed to one of them, but the double standards were real.
Tell that man to grab his money and run.
As an Uber Driver recently pick up a girl who's have a serious discussion with her ex through her phone. She said after the call the world had given priviledge to men but it's changing for equaility. I agreed. She continued saying she was tired of trying hard to have a heatlhy relationship because the majority of men won't worth it. And then finished saying that she's choosing the guy she'll go out at the weekend because she was very stressed with her job and do not have money to go to a nice place. I remained silent because tell her some truth will give me a one star on app...
@@rafaelrp07 your comment was really funny 😂😂😂
@@rafaelrp07 What country was this?
rafaelrp07 smart move lol
The thing I wish most from my dates is some appreciation. I really give my all to know my date and be interested in her stories, compliment her looks and try to find things we have in common.
My dates often don't ask me anything about myself at all and sometimes there are litteral months between compliments I receive.
I can say with confidence that a single compliment goes a mile for us men.
One experience was really funny. We sat down in the café and were talking, suddenly she says "sorry, you're not my type, I gotta go!". I was like, "uhm alright, no problem. I'll stay a little longer, I like the place". Suddenly she went from that to "uh oh, now I feel bad" I said "Oh, don't mind, it's totally okay". She stood up. Sat down. Stood up again. Looked inside her handbag. "I'll pay for everything!!!!". I said "You don't have to, I'll just relax here" 😂. Everything was so weird about it haha she was completely confused. Then she went out and I ordered something, I kinda felt funny, I was smiling all the time, because I couldn't grasp what happened.
Kudos to you for handling it the right way. Did she reach up o you later?
this is real taoïsm
What happened was that she was nervous, she felt a really strong repelling force but was also split between the social anxiety of being the pariah, and the maybe also regretting hurting you
That woman sounds honest and quite decent. She might be good for someone else. Better she told you right away.
@@arnavrawat9864 I feel like we've low-key normalized shallowness and snubbing people.
It's genuinely sad how difficult and mentally draining the dating world is for everyone involved
Arranged marriage is the future. Nobody is happy, therefore an asset [happiness] is equally distributed disregarding merit, therefore everything is good
tsopmocful
You don’t even know their gender and you act like dating is such a terrible thing, if you hate dating then don’t date.
@@alaaye5237 It doesn't matter what gender the reader of my comment is.
And if you don't know what my comment is referring to then you are either blind, live under a rock or you are just a kid.
@@tsopmocful1958 lmao women are called toxic crazy gold digging bitches as a standard
Men aren't the only ones being shat on
It’s only difficult if you let it be. People don’t communicate as much and try to fix the problem they let their pride get in the way sometimes too. But that doesn’t mean everyone is like that. The best thing to do is not to ware any more time on people who aren’t willing to fix their problems
The one thing you need to understand about Men is that we dont think you spent hours getting ready to "look good for us", we think you spent hours getting ready to hide all the natural little things about you face that you dont like about yourself, because you think we dont want to see the real you
lol its to hide the ugly, simple as that
Facts
So true. We want to see your faces, not art paintings.
Louder!
As a bisexual woman I agree with you on both
Welcome to being a man, you'll get your instructions on how to be a psychic mind reader in a few days.
Underrated comment hahahahhaa fukk
This comment should get more likes.
got my instructions the other day...all the pages were blank.
It's blank, we're hoping somebody will fill it out and send it back...
Joshua Mallory 😂
This was thoroughly entertaining. It's cool and funny at the same time when men and women can understand each others frustrations.
2 very important rules guys
1. Never take a woman out on a dinner date on the first date.
2. Don't forget rule 1.
Use to do that not no more it's coffee dates on the first date only now. It's alot better, makes me wonder what I was thinking back then
Yep, I've learned that lesson the hard way. One time I paid for $130 dollar dinner bill, and my part of it was less than $20, while listening to her complain and be abusive to the wait staff, then she says she wants someone who makes way more money than I do.
Other times I've made reservations at a place for a first date. And more than once I've been stood up, and had to be humiliated when she doesn't show up.
Lessons learned the hard way.
@@jimmyboy131 Yea, women don't appreciate good men. Men have to vet and screen for a women nowadays. I find that online dating is trash and meeting women in person is better. If they are 29+, walk away. Trust me, it's not worth it.
@@blackonblack...9244 Online dating is horrible, I agree. I'd say at least 90% of the ones I contact are frauds, are just looking for money or sex (I'm looking for a real relationship), and it's very discouraging. (yes, getting laid is pretty easy if that's what I'm after, but it's not)
Well, I'm nearly 50 so meeting younger women in person, in today's society, is pretty much impossible unless I want to be instantly labeled a creeper, regardless of my manner and character. And meeting women my age in person, while easy to do, is another bundle of issues that I won't go into here. So the only real option I have is online dating, which, as I mentioned, is very discouraging.
@@jimmyboy131 online dating is pointless. It is 50% hookers, 30% bots and the last 20% want chads. If you are not a chad just throw it away.
“Sometimes I feel she doesn’t like me for me, she just wants a boyfriend” yup
Still better then "sometimes i feel like she won't date me for me but only for free dinner"
yeah, men are just generic men objects to women. the only parts of you that they have any interest in are those that overlap with the template of a generic, soulless male. That's why they love men in uniform: they don't want a special snowflake, they want a factory standard
It goes both directions sadly, some men do that, too
Most of you are hard to like.
@@shanineedwards6894 Most people in general are hard to like. But nobody forces you to like them. So just don't waste time and be straight about it.
When my wife and I first started dating we had a rule. We lived about an hour away from each other. The person who drives doesn't take care of dinner and such. If I went to see her, she paid. If she went to see me, I paid. And since we alternated who saw whom, it was a very fair exchange
Wholesome!
❤
idk if i agree.. bc that seems too materialistic like yk you'd go to see her but she might feel like ur only there for the free dinner and vice versa. Just my opinion tho
Namita Gogoi what? That’s a 2 hour drive back and forth... that alone wuickly covers the food expenses
Very good deal, finding a women who knows how to fairly negotiate logistics like this is super important (and for the guys to learn this as well)
As a straight dude, I really appreciate the perspective you’re getting, the newfound empathy ur developing for us & ur willingness and ability to express it publicly. While being fair to both women and men. And the way you dramatize these experiences is quite entertaining!
Woman: “I spent hours to get ready”
Man: “I spent hours to make the money for the date”
Difference is you still have the clothes and makeup after the date is over!
oof
As if men didn’t bought expensive clothes and perfumes etc
@@matheus_ps What is that "etc" you are talking about? My late husband used smells when he gone to work as when he dated me. He wakes up, takes a shower, brush teeth, combs his hair and puts up a smell of some sort. The only difference was that he dressed better and we had fun together. I did much more for my date with him. He looked almost the same as every day.
@@WaterisjustWet dont care plus you are a woman
@@matheus_ps your saying that you let the girlfriend pay the bill?idk man if you guys were eating at the Mcd for your date,I wouldn't complain..
A girl literally said to me
“Let’s go out , your treat!”
Yeah .. never talked/heard of her afain
Tracyn I've tried to pay on dates, but my boyfriend (who I've been with for 2 years) won't let me pay because he says it'll hurt his pride. He did let me but him lunch a few times, then he said it hurt his pride and that he will never let it happen again. I find it hilarious and sweet and I'm grateful that it keeps my wallet full, it I also feel bad because I don't ever want to take advantage of him. That girl sounds like she took advantage of you though, I hope she at least said thank you.
@@briannalee1998 saying your treat or you're paying sounds like "i only want your money and i dont care about you"
While generally men usually insist on paying because us men were raised in a certain way where we must always be tough confident and provide a nice house, cars, and money. And if we don't we start to feel shamed and emasculated. For example, when some little boys cry instead of having their parents ask what's wrong or why are they crying they get told "men don't cry" and get shamed for it; implying that their feelings are meaningless and shouldn't be shown. So most men feeling obligated to pay and wont mind doing so; unless, they start to feel used or its more than what they can afford.
I only tell my bf hes paying bc we've dated for 3yrs and we equally spend on money on each other. Most of the time I dont actually have to ask bc we've talked about how it would be nice to treat each other once in a while.
Brianna Lee I’ve only been with my girlfriend for a short while, but every time we go to get food or go places, she tries to pay for all of it lol. It’s not so much a pride thing with me, but I do like to be fair, so we’re working on it and paying equally now. Kinda weird because I expected her to want me to pay for everything.
Hypergamy rampant
"Spending hours getting ready" is a personal choice. Not sure how that equates to an expectation. I'm chivalrous so I usually do anyway, but I disagree with that as being the reason. That's silly.
woman " fakes" how she looks and expects to get paid for it. ha ha ha
wasn't aware that dating was about paying women for a service and not something you both want to do.
@@riccardopattarin amazing👏
I read this in a SorrowTV voice
I don't think you know what Chivalry actually means. It certainly doesn't mean buying things for people.
This is really interesting, I didn't expect someone like you to have this perspective on dating. I wish there were more people like you in where I'm currently living.😳
When she waits till your birthday to tell you she found a new guy and that she's been upset about something for six months and that it's your own fault for not seeing the signs.
too specifc, are you okie?
Ouch
RIP mans
I feel you dog
Y on ur birthday specifically tf
"I spent a ton of money on MYSELF, therefore, you should buy me a meal." Yeah, yup. Goodbye.
"dO yOu KnOw HoW lOnG i HaD tO sIt ArOuNd FoR mY hAiR cOnDiTiOnEr To FiNaLlY aCtIvAte FoR yOu?!" 😜
@@livefreeprintguns LMAOO
Yeah I saw another comment like this and there were people trying to make it right lol. It’s never right and you can’t convince anyone it is.
"Bold of you to assume I don't do the same"
@BOW TO GOD JIHYO PEASANTS stop justifying it lol
As a woman, I’ve never liked the argument of “women pay so much money and put in so much effort to look good for a date so the man should pay”. It puts so much pressure on women to always go above and beyond just for physical appearance. I like to invest my money in other things, am I wrong for doing that because as a woman it’s my job to look good for a guy? Nope. It’s not an obligation for me to spend money on makeup and it isn’t an obligation for him to pay for my dinner.
It's also rather dismissive of the time, effort, and money a lot of men put into their appearance.
Very true. If a man would buy a 2k watch and an expensive suit for a date would he be suddenly inclinded to have his meal paid for? Of course not. No one is responsible for one person buying expensive things to look good. Both parties should pay for their own meal if they are not yet in a relationship.
@@scarletice As a man I put about 3 hours getting ready for a date. I find it strange she and the OP assume I just roll in there as if I just got out of bed or something. I don't wear makeup but I need to do everything else there, manicure, wash my hair, save, moisturize, manscape, dry my hair, trim my nose hair etc. I'm not born looking this way you know.
@@JewTube001 I truly hope you're joking. Three hours to get ready would be long even if you were getting married that day...
You are right 😊
Since you directly asked at the end: I am a bi male, came out recently, and when I was on dating apps just for a few days listed as "femboy", I got matches with guys who had stuff like "dominant" in their profiles. And I was absolutely scared. That I wouldn't know whether they accept Nos and boundaries or go all over these.
Suddenly, I could understand women very well being scared of some guys and dates.
Dating women is like looking for clean water in a desert. Dating men is like looking for clean water in a swamp.
You wonder if women have the attitude problems we do when it comes to dating because of the way we have been historically violated. 🤷🏼♀️
Then don't date "dominant" guys! 🤷♂
So you’re telling me to date dudes too for me to understand women?
Lmao 😂😂😂
Yes I would download grinder if i were you
Theoretically yes that would work.....but you'd have to be bisexual. If you don't though just look at other people's perspectives and advice and have a open mind as to how it would theoretically feel.
... why don't you give it a try. This would be interesting to hear about.
@@zsurvivalist7996 exactly. I've never dated a guy but I've analyzed situations involving both myself and not and put myself in their place and just really thought about how would I genuinely react. Changes your life man.
What a weird and twisted logic is this: "I make myself looking nice for you and buy expensive make up and clothes, so you can pay for the dinner as your part of the deal." like excuse me... What!? Is this how women think!?
Of course it's the way women think. Where have you been hiding?
Nope. This is how *some* women think (depending on upbringing and social circle). A LOT of us believe in paying for what you ate yourself. We are just not noticed so much because we are not the ones you have a discussion about.
yes....all of them
Stine Mary Boye Kristiansen that is by no means the norm globally. Maybe not all women think like this but the majority sure do.
As a straight woman this is the first time I heard that. I even thought she was joking. It's sad that some women do that much, but many women don't care about paying, or making up, or gender roles whatsoever. We care mostly about the person.
"Anything experience that expands ur compassion is worthy sharing" wow
Edy you got that right !
Seeing videos like this make me so grateful to have been married for almost 20 years. God speed to those who to face this dating world. I do not envy you,but wish you the best of luck.
Thank you very much. It's a nightmare
For what it's worth I wouldn't envy most people who are married either... best of luck though.
"Girls take hours to get ready and makeup costs money, therefor guys should pay"
Cool - so you're gonna pay for my years gym membership and educations?
@GoodGirlBacklash thats not really the point
@GoodGirlBacklash no way you invest the same amount of time and money into working out.
also, is she gonna wipe that make-up off right after we split? who says shes not gonna let me pay, then hook up with the next guy right after walking out of the restaurant?
@GoodGirlBacklash No, thats not his Point. His point is that you females should pay too lmao...
@GoodGirlBacklash . . . Ok, so if girls do the same thing, gym and education (keeping in mind guys will also pay for nice clothes and hygienic items to smell good) , then by that logic both should be expected to pay part of the dinner bill. All you have done in commenting this has proven the original comment point. If you both take steps in your own lives that costs money and time then you should equally be expected to pay.
When you said guys should pay the bill because women spend a lot of money on makeup and getting ready, all I thought about is how men spend tons of money on nice cars so you'll be attracted, we buy flashy clothes, nice shoes, watches, hell we even get nice phones because girls aren't into guys with flip phones because it screams they don't have money. There are a ton of things men pay for so you'll go on the date to begin with. If you want us to pay the bill, it's gotta be a good excuse instead of "I put make up on, buy me stuff"
ALL they have are their looks. What are they if they don't have that
Yup. The most attractive women want to benefit completely from their looks, but then not also be objectified for them and desired primarily for sex when that's really all most of them actually have to offer. Can't have it both ways, honey.
Guys with flip phones have the most money. They don't spend it on phones or on women.
It’s true, a lot of guys are happy with just a t shirt and some comfy pants. But girls are more likely gonna go for the guy wearing the expensive clothes.
There’s also guys who put a lot of time into their look as well though.
@@jefferyhall1646 yeah flip phones for that dealer cash
When she asks to wear your hoodie but like you are also cold, so now I just keep two hoodies in my car. Lol
Lmao
Aw! That's really sweet :D
I had a boyfriend who would get really cold, I also get cold ( both have bad circulation) be gave me his jacket. But then he was shaking. I made him wear it after that cause although I really cold I wasn’t shaking, couldn’t have him suffer like that.
Now that is a man with good planning skills.
That's so hot
In my I was simply a convinience who drove her around, made her feel comfortable and paid for things and before i even realized that she never appreciated me or the things i did, she had found someone else
Girl complains about dating women
Boys: first time?
😂
Biggest advice is just love girls and respect them don't try to understand them
@@lotuswolf1518 lol but ive never seen anyone say this abt boys
@@lotuswolf1518 how can you love or respect someone whos aim it is to exploid you, whether it is for your money or just for you to play the role they want you to play.
the second aspect .. that women don't care for the guys themselves but for them to play a certain role in their lives .. is by far the heaviest observation about women.
it means that the character of a guy does not matter at all.. they are completly replaceable by the next guy who is willing to play that particular role... and sadly it is a common observation guys make.
that attitude is not to be respected at all.
@You need magnesium. the girls i encountered were no gold diggers, they were ordinary girls. my "data" is aquired by observing them and others girls. also, it should be clear to you that comments like that use generalizations .. because otherwise noone would ever get to the point.
One time a lady asked me, "what is it like to be a guy."
With a smile I simply said, "It's very lonely"
👍🏽
😎👍👍
😎 👍🏻 👍🏻 👍🏻
I must be a guy 🙂
Preach brother
I'm uncomfortable with the hypocricy with being dumped in relationships. Rihanna (who I adore) unceremoniously dumps her rich boyfriend because she was 'bored' and she recieved praise online, she's a KWEEEEN. But if a guy dumped his gf suddenly because he too was 'bored', he would be labeled an emotionally unavailable man with a lack of empathy by these same insecure women 💁🏾♀️🙃
Yup
Couldn't have said it better myself, we should all be equally accountable to our actions, and nobody should band together cause they are the same gender/race etc, Rather, based on the charactor of their heart
@@connorhood6490 perfect world talk right there
@@mirrorflame1988 In truth, Christianity without the occult knowledge of their time is total falsehood.
The solution is to stop caring what other people think of you.
"I dated women so you don't have to" 🗣️📣
If I ask a girl out... then I’ll pay. If she asks me out. I hope she at least offers to pay.
First couple dates I usually pay though
I just split everything
Chris Cecil So nice of you! :)
The person asking out pays.
yeah! just some gesture to ask to offer or split is appreciated
First date I'll pay, don't want people to feel I owe them anything.
To be honest, this is miniscule compared to what men really have to go through.
Exactly
Like having to be the one to ask out the other person instead of being asked out
Ikr she thinks she understands but if anything she’s even further away because she thinks she’s worked it out
The fact that she still believes that her preparation in her looks for the night are equal to the man paying for dinner. Gtfoh
But she is still learning.
She's the one spoken about in the prophecy's. She will bring balance amongst the people
Tristan Cechman ⚰️💀 lmaoooo
The avatar!
As all things should be
@@beefybread5769 Beat me to it
Better make sure she doesn't hate sand first before speaking of chosen ones, & prophesies to bring about balance to the people of the universe.
0:37 wow what a new discovery 😂
I once went on a date with a girl, she offered to pay and I was like "That would be great actually, thank you. I can get the next one" (this was our fourth date and the first time she suggested)
She proceeds to say "No, you're paying for it. I only offered to be polite, not to actually pay"
@EL JAY No, I didn't. It wasn't too terribly expensive which is why I was willing to let her
However, I did let her other "Guy" friends know about this and practically all of them ghosted her. Twas very satisfying
I hope you excused yourself to the men's room (& then escaped through the bathroom window - leaving her with the checque). 🤔😆😎😜
@@davidbolha Like I said before, I paid because it wasn't too expensive (wanna say like $30) and was also trying to avoid more drama, but I did tell all of her guy friends and she was left without a guy in her life. She bitched about it on insta for like a week😂
@@Dragonrider-cj8js She complained because you started a movement. 😎😆
The beginning of **her wall** .
The dice is cast. 😁
Bruh moment
"Where were the kisses I was promised" is a great way for a man to get arrested.
She was showing some of that male entitlement! lol
@@ancientparadox2084 more like combination of molecules entitlement
R/niceguys have a list of similar post about guys ranting
@@ancientparadox2084 same with women
when they say they used "make up for like an hour" as a entitlement reason to not pay the date🥱
Like bruh nobody asked you to put a chunk of make up for an hour cuz of your own insecurities 💀it's not our problem if you feel like that lmao
@James Cheddar ikr lol they are bad at logic
The EGO to suggest that looking nice for a man is PAYMENT😂😂
Maybe if men weren’t so blatantly shallow
@@Alexis_005 ????? nice generalization dunce
@@Alexis_005 found a feminist, lmao
@@Alexis_005 ? Tf
Alex is a troll
The fact that you can get SOOO MUCH experience in only a year speaks miles about how the female dating world works