Why Men Get So Few Matches on Dating Apps

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  • Опубліковано 23 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 20 тис.

  • @memeabledata
    @memeabledata  Рік тому +6636

    Corrections and remarks:
    - I forgot to mention that I ran the simulation 1000 times for every scenario
    - 05:02: "Attractiveness is subjective". A lot of comments argued that attractiveness is NOT subjective, otherwise we wouldn't have such a high inequality in likes for different users. My response to that is that attractiveness is *partially* subjective. A person that I consider to be attractive might not be attractive to you and vice-versa. Therefore, attractiveness has at least some level of subjectiveness.
    - 05:50: There's a mistake in the formula of the right chart. It should be f(x) = 14%
    - 06:12: The chosen functions were power functions and NOT polynomial functions, as mentioned in the footnote

    • @tanelviil9149
      @tanelviil9149 Рік тому +1

      Dude are you stupid or what ?
      It is simple women have vagina AND MEN WANT TO SPREAD THEIR SEEDS THAT's WHY ALMOST EVERY man runs after women ( simp behavior ) ... back in the days men just took women...now that is no longer allowed so they have to compete with other stuff.
      The choice is left to women and women are programed to get the BEST MAN they can get . Thats why so many men have to settle for less or for no woman at all.
      even ugly disabled women gets men while a man has it much harder and in modern days, women have a huge acces to men all over the world ( internet ) , thats why men cant compete, because women on the other hand are programmed to get the " BEST MAN " so they just keep wanting better and better and now we in the west have it so that most women want a guy who is at least 185 cm tall, rich and looks good.
      Women have lost their sense of reality .... men like that belong to the 1 % of all men.
      So 90 % of women want only 1 % of men .
      And that's why men on social media lose .... they are competing with FEMALE DESIRE TO WANT THE BEST MAN and with MEN WHO ARE 185 cm tall , rich and good looking.

    • @Toto-cm5ux
      @Toto-cm5ux Рік тому +61

      Could you explain more how you got your numbers ? Because I just see numbers but not mathematical formula with explanation. It's like people has to believe you without understanding how you got into this opinion.

    • @GeoffroyLemonde
      @GeoffroyLemonde Рік тому +116

      Not sure you could measure it, but I’ve noticed a lot of female profiles are in fact scammers from other countries or appear in the app, but in the woman isn’t even looking at her profile for months or years on end. I also suspect some accounts are created out of thin air by the people running the app, just to have a few “tools” up their sleeves when your account subscription is ending in a week or so. Its also really suspecious to me that on the app called Zoosk, almost 70% of women are 5′7″ (170 cm) and they all have doctorates.

    • @yakovbrod9992
      @yakovbrod9992 Рік тому +29

      There should be laws on this making things more equal

    • @Toto-cm5ux
      @Toto-cm5ux Рік тому +47

      @@yakovbrod9992 feminists work on it

  • @oneobjective5448
    @oneobjective5448 Рік тому +30233

    The way to separate yourself from the crowd is to not participate. If you ask a woman out in person, no matter how difficult and scary it is, it will instantly put you ahead of everyone else that is too scared to do it. It also shows that at least you're confident and have social skills

    • @Goregreet
      @Goregreet Рік тому +2063

      If i would do it i would totally not be seen as confident or socially skilled lol
      I tried it many times
      And it never worked
      I always end up saying some weird sh cuz i can not think under all that pressure

    • @meowththatsright7881
      @meowththatsright7881 Рік тому +916

      Don't be a creep

    • @TheNewCoalition
      @TheNewCoalition Рік тому +818

      @@Goregreet You need to relieve the pressure then. Practice just glazing over and not even thinking about who you're talking to, just talk to a wall. If you can do it to a wall, you can do it to a girl if you just do the same thing. Just completely fool your mind into dissociating with who / what you're interacting with,

    • @Goregreet
      @Goregreet Рік тому +414

      @@TheNewCoalition i don't understand how to not care about a situation like this happening right in front of me
      Like how do you just switch off your attention/interest in a person

    • @TheNewCoalition
      @TheNewCoalition Рік тому +209

      @@Goregreet Practice. Like I said practice on a wall, or the mirror, or a door. Or whatever. Just kind of ignore every thought other than the most important ones to the conversation. It just takes practice.

  • @calimantis
    @calimantis Рік тому +15146

    Best way to describe dating sites/apps that I've heard is that they're "filled with women who get attention they don't want and men who want attention they don't get"

    • @maijensen3317
      @maijensen3317 Рік тому +116

      So true 🤣

    • @jardel_lucca
      @jardel_lucca Рік тому +391

      Women who don't want attention? How is that?

    • @ihx4111
      @ihx4111 Рік тому

      @@jardel_lucca harassment, men that only want sex, men that give hearts before even seeing what the person actually looks like (happens a lot with big woman and trans woman), not all attention is good, especially in dating apps with all the fake profiles and stuff

    • @jardel_lucca
      @jardel_lucca Рік тому +831

      @@lugrisa I think what he/she actually means is that they don't want attention from "creepy" (aka unattractive) guys

    • @stevederoeck4025
      @stevederoeck4025 Рік тому +154

      There’s a reasonable percentage that goes on there to see their market value,or increase their self confidence,but have no intention to find a date on the app.stay away from clubs and Tinder if you want to find a good women.

  • @JK-uc2he
    @JK-uc2he Рік тому +5360

    As an Engineer working with simulation systems: This video is extremely good. I love how you mark your quotations and how you talk about your thinking process step by step. Keep it up!

    • @MattPSU02
      @MattPSU02 Рік тому +5

      This brought me back to my IE classes in college.

    • @asdlfkj12jieweo21
      @asdlfkj12jieweo21 Рік тому +11

      I'm also quite astonished about the accuracy of the video altough there is very less data. Makes it quite easy to understand what's going on for everyone that's not in the materia already.

    • @gabrielallert
      @gabrielallert Рік тому +7

      WHAT IS AN ENGINEER!!!!!!!?????

    • @taddik6869
      @taddik6869 Рік тому +5

      5th year of industrial engineering at texas A&M here. Simulation systems was by far my favorite class thus far

    • @RoseFBN
      @RoseFBN Рік тому

      @@gabrielallert someone smarter than you lmao

  • @randomdisplayname
    @randomdisplayname Місяць тому +234

    I had tinder back in the day. Handful of matches, a few failed conversations, only ever met one girl on there, she was cool, then the usual lets just be friends speech. So I gave up on it.
    I lived my life instead, work, gym, walked my dog, found a hobby to throw myself into and made some friends, eventually without the obsession to find love i met a girl, a friend of a friend, we clicked, we hung out, we dated, we moved in together, we got cats, we got dogs, we got married.
    Anyone reading this, it can happen, don't make it your solo mission in life and don't discard it because it hasn't happened yet.
    It gets better.

    • @RoadtoRippedNow
      @RoadtoRippedNow Місяць тому +2

      Thanks for the advice man, I find myself checking dating apps too much right now. Im wondering did you feel more anxious about finding a girl while you were still using tinder than after you abandoned it?

    • @chika3915
      @chika3915 20 днів тому

      Congratulations 🎉🎉👏👏 to you and you wife may you guys be blessed with a happy and lively marriage in Jesus name

    • @loslingos1232
      @loslingos1232 6 днів тому

      I hope you're right....

    • @tjmed7708
      @tjmed7708 2 дні тому

      so many single men not only need to hear this, they need to believe it too

    • @fiverx2159
      @fiverx2159 19 годин тому

      You got lucky. It does not get better for most of us. I’m 50 and I’ve never been able to get a date. The longer it goes on the more it’s a red flag to women.
      If you aren’t rich or lucky then you will always be alone. Women despise men who aren’t 6’ millionaires

  • @grahamvaneck8906
    @grahamvaneck8906 Рік тому +3462

    I spent around 4 years in my mid-to-late 20s on every dating app I could find, and in all that time I got exactly 1 date. I would go for weeks at a time without any matches or responses; it felt like I was screaming into an empty abyss. And like most men, it absolutely damaged my self-image, and was one of the factors that lead me into a deep depression in my late 20s. My mental health has gotten considerably better since I've sworn off online dating as a whole, and I find a certain amount of solace in hearing and reading that others have had similar experiences.

    • @Nimbus3690
      @Nimbus3690 Рік тому +208

      Your story is nearly identical to mine. Bless you, brother

    • @moolikethecow1172
      @moolikethecow1172 Рік тому +115

      exact same story here bro. glad you made it out 💪🏿

    • @nagatodan
      @nagatodan Рік тому +65

      Could relate about messing up my self image and spiraling into deep depression

    • @alukuhito
      @alukuhito Рік тому +41

      Sounds funny. There was no such thing as a dating app when I was in my 20s. Actually, there was no such thing as an app.

    • @WaldemarPerezJr
      @WaldemarPerezJr Рік тому +49

      I deleted all of my app a while ago to. I regret all the money spent simping and paying for those stupid apps.
      Can't wait for my passport to get here.

  • @codywalden7105
    @codywalden7105 Рік тому +49358

    Dating for straight women is like shopping. Dating for straight men is like a job interview.

    • @jooot_6850
      @jooot_6850 Рік тому +2535

      @@____-qf7mzYou sound like you need a character arc

    • @adnaP_esreveR
      @adnaP_esreveR Рік тому

      @@____-qf7mz You have things backwards. If women were treated well men wouldn't need that much "vetting" by women who want to be safe with who they date. They have to do research or else they might be dating someone who might abuse, traffick, kill, etc. them.

    • @SaltyBoggart
      @SaltyBoggart Рік тому +2265

      Women easily harrass desirable men too tho. Especially after a one night stand. A lot of stalking issues

    • @nathanroche7908
      @nathanroche7908 Рік тому +172

      I've never found this.

    • @Beeman2892
      @Beeman2892 Рік тому +54

      Fr❤

  • @justanobservation3423
    @justanobservation3423 Рік тому +4998

    The fact that you put your sources in footnotes during the video is amazing! Def wish that was general practice

    • @odyseeone
      @odyseeone Рік тому

      This is similar to people who think votes are actually counted and that it isn't rigged. You can justify it with all the logic you want and prove yourself to be correct, but underlying all of it is an obscured evil agenda. Dating apps aren't in place to create relationships, their primary purpose is to demoralize the masses. Overinflate the ego's of all women so that they believe they're worth more than they actually are (Weaponize their innate hypergamous nature), while also giving them choice overload and decision fatigue, the trifecta that creates destruction of the ability to pair bond, delusion, and choice paralysis.
      While also destroying Men's willpower and motivation to continue pursuing women so they end up choosing solitude and focusing on hobbies instead. The result is a demoralized, thus easier-to-control population and a declining birth rate among that population. Two things the malevolent controllers are most interested in producing.

    • @HyperLexus
      @HyperLexus Рік тому +44

      too much effort for most pseudo science channels

    • @CrittingOut
      @CrittingOut Рік тому +1

      it is for more academic leaning videos.

    • @bart_grasmat889
      @bart_grasmat889 Рік тому

      I also allways write notes on my foot!

    • @ayanned
      @ayanned Рік тому +2

      Remember guys,
      It is not worth it.
      Leave them alone, let them rage with baby rabies, and let them die lonely and alone.

  • @DodgeThis
    @DodgeThis 4 місяці тому +100

    I had bumble for a couple years. I had plenty of matches as a man, but either no woman is willing to meet, fail to respond and the match expires, or are just insane or looking for attention. Dating apps have ruined real dating.

    • @RareKush21
      @RareKush21 Місяць тому

      not true. you have never done it and talk like you lifed it

    • @Primerblob
      @Primerblob 29 днів тому

      @@RareKush21???????

    • @RareKush21
      @RareKush21 29 днів тому

      @@Primerblob real dating is not done with dating apps

    • @Primerblob
      @Primerblob 29 днів тому

      @@RareKush21 so you say its not true with no evidence

    • @RareKush21
      @RareKush21 29 днів тому

      @@Primerblob i know for a fact there are still women who have not been corrupted by the internet/dating apps. they just don't use dating apps. only the weird dudes and girls use dating apps. to say everything is ruined is a crazy level of delusion. maybe you need to visit other countries. get out of your social circle. start a hobby and meet people in real life. it gives incel vibes if you cry me a river about this topic. you're a prisoner of your own thoughts.

  • @Borzah
    @Borzah Рік тому +4874

    i got 20 matches on Tinder but every girl was playing games and most the them didn't respond. girls have too many matches. Dating apps are used for entertainment

    • @GorgieClarissa
      @GorgieClarissa Рік тому +291

      i match with men, and they rarely respond. men play just as many mind games with women too.

    • @betallyoungattractive644
      @betallyoungattractive644 Рік тому +1287

      @@GorgieClarissa you are talking about the Chads (most physically attractive men) who all women are going after. Of course those guys are gonna flake on you. You women pursue the top 1% and when the top 1% flake on you, you blame all men including the 99% you ignore. The only guys who flake and ghost are Chads. Typical guys like myself don't do that. I have never flaked on a girl on a dating app yet I get ghosted all the time. And these women who ghost me are women who reached out to me first!

    • @womp47
      @womp47 Рік тому +581

      @@betallyoungattractive644 exactly, average guys dont just randomly ghost girls they match with, simply because they don't get matches in the first place (as this video shows) so why would they ghost people when they barely get matches anyway?

    • @kmacgregor6361
      @kmacgregor6361 Рік тому

      @betallyoungattractive644 Wow, dude. "You women", like all women are the same? You have no idea of this person's experience. Why would you assume you know? And not all men are the same as you either. Look around the comments in this thread and you'll see men commenting how they're unselective when they swipe (because most won't result in a match anyway) but look again and get more selective when they match. Or complaining how the matches they do get are "low quality". So, absolutely, men do this too, because - surprise! Turns out men and women are both human! Maybe women are turned off when they talk to you because you give the impression of being a bitter, sexist dick who thinks women are all the same and some kind of lesser subspecies. Certainly the impression you've given me.

    • @oliverboii7034
      @oliverboii7034 Рік тому +165

      ​@@GorgieClarissajust as many? Did you watch the video?

  • @HansLemurson
    @HansLemurson Рік тому +1917

    Being constantly ignored and ghosted on dating apps really hurt my self esteem, and I haven't even bothered for years because of the pain of so many dashed hopes.

    • @mr.gamewatch7547
      @mr.gamewatch7547 Рік тому +144

      For real, it's awful

    • @AmetafJohora
      @AmetafJohora Рік тому +94

      I’m sorry to hear that man- I Feel like the apps are designed t more to make money, then to help people - I just suggest trying to meet people in person instead

    • @HansLemurson
      @HansLemurson Рік тому +30

      @@PaulVanced-jl5gk That's like littering because you're angry about garbage.

    • @PaulVanced-jl5gk
      @PaulVanced-jl5gk Рік тому +2

      @@HansLemurson ??? Do you have brain damage or something? What the hell are you talking about ?

    • @mr.gamewatch7547
      @mr.gamewatch7547 Рік тому +19

      @@PaulVanced-jl5gk 0/10 bait

  • @mikebranch7928
    @mikebranch7928 Рік тому +5431

    Dating apps increased my depression by 100x

    • @sehrerwachsen8955
      @sehrerwachsen8955 Рік тому +96

      Please try real world

    • @Whymedude-bo9eg
      @Whymedude-bo9eg Рік тому

      ​@blahblah2779 lmao please don't reproduce

    • @ChristiansPlaymo-Ecke
      @ChristiansPlaymo-Ecke Рік тому +395

      @@sehrerwachsen8955 And get humiliated publicly and even more severely? Besides, a lot of women see getting approached in rl as harrassment. And you have NO idea if the woman you are approaching is one of them - there is ltierally no way to know. OK, if you look like me, there is - she WILL see it as harrassment^^.

    • @sehrerwachsen8955
      @sehrerwachsen8955 Рік тому

      @@ChristiansPlaymo-Ecke have you tried not looking like a living harassment?

    • @ChristiansPlaymo-Ecke
      @ChristiansPlaymo-Ecke Рік тому

      @@sehrerwachsen8955 I don`t really thnk that is possible since you never know what is seen as harrassment. But trying to be more conventional attracive is pretty hard if you are simply not.

  • @vicente321
    @vicente321 4 місяці тому +17

    The worst part of online dating is that I would match with ppl, but then after talking a few days they would just disappear. It feels so disheartening getting to know someone only for them to ghost.

    • @lilquakeroats554
      @lilquakeroats554 4 місяці тому +1

      make a fake women account, you'll find out how thirsty the average man is when she gets 300 likes a day

    • @Josh-zr3jy
      @Josh-zr3jy 3 місяці тому +4

      Not only that but you also know they are over there chatting it up with someone else after seeing your message and ignoring you.

    • @ginacoates4729
      @ginacoates4729 13 годин тому

      Unfortunately, the dating world is so fast pace that you’ve just got to make a good impression in a very short amount of time. Think of it like a child’s attention span, if they don’t feel ‘entertained’ by one toy, they lose interest and move onto playing with something else. Now please don’t take that as anyone’s playing with your emotions, i just mean don’t start with the casual “hey, how you doing” small talk. Start off with something more interesting that will grab their attention. Take time to look at their profile, find a comment interest and maybe make a comment about that, starting a conversation that shows interest in them.
      Wishing you the best of luck!

  • @Nois-ufnoc
    @Nois-ufnoc Рік тому +4502

    If you keep producing content of this quality, there is no way this channel won't blow up.

    • @NoidoDev
      @NoidoDev Рік тому +35

      It's getting recommended because it's new, but the topic isn't. Also, the take here in this video is to step on nobodies toes. Many other channels warned for years against dating apps, many get demonetized or banned after a while for "misogyny" or whatnot.

    • @Yowzoe
      @Yowzoe Рік тому +13

      @@NoidoDev yes, it's *all* a conspiracy 😂

    • @lukehart7225
      @lukehart7225 Рік тому +1

      No wonder I only get about 1-3 per day or more likely per week. Hahah

    • @izzyzzty6769
      @izzyzzty6769 Рік тому +3

      I feel like UA-cam is coming back, I am now able to find at least one video I want to watch now or later

    • @rorybanana2960
      @rorybanana2960 Рік тому

      It came tru i guess

  • @joaogabriel.mesquita
    @joaogabriel.mesquita Рік тому +3656

    This goes in line with an experiment I did yesterday on tinder. I wanted to see what other man generally put in their profiles so I set up a fake account of a woman, with a picture of a landscape of my city and no bio, just a fake name and age, and interest in "something casual". In an hour this profile had about 50 likes, that's crazy!

    • @Electragirl5
      @Electragirl5 Рік тому +562

      Yep I used to have a legit bio now I have a troll bio that tells absolutely nothing about me or what I’m looking for and I get the same amount of likes. Guys are only swiping on my first photo, it doesn’t even matter the amount of effort I put into my profile

    • @matthewlozy1140
      @matthewlozy1140 Рік тому +787

      Guys utilize the shotgun approach. Swipe right on every single woman and sort out the ones you actually get matches on.

    • @popejaimie
      @popejaimie Рік тому +438

      ​@@matthewlozy1140yeah that's why I deleted tinder, completely defeats the purpose

    • @inorite4553
      @inorite4553 Рік тому +308

      If you're a man, the best advice I can give you to make your profile better, is to create a fake female account and just observe how other men behave.

    • @LorbyOwo
      @LorbyOwo Рік тому +100

      ​@@inorite4553 seems a bit toxic to fill tinder with fake profil of the rarest gender in my opinion. (sorry for bad english btw)

  • @erichganz4605
    @erichganz4605 Рік тому +3521

    As a Data Scientist, it was AMAZING to watch that! I am sure you must be skilled in storytelling of data!

    • @blindbrad4719
      @blindbrad4719 Рік тому +89

      Jeez, why don't you ask him out on a day already. 🙄 😂

    • @jensraab2902
      @jensraab2902 Рік тому

      @@blindbrad4719 What's wrong with giving someone positive feedback on a well-made video that required quite some work, especially when that praise comes from an informed place?
      Stop being a douche.

    • @berarpaul
      @berarpaul Рік тому +22

      I get the feeling this is just sarcasm

    • @NotScared
      @NotScared Рік тому +11

      @@berarpaulno

    • @bliskin8847
      @bliskin8847 Рік тому +24

      I use statistics at work, and I love it when the numbers work out. Filters that hurt your chances even more are race, and height.

  • @philipptasaduros8124
    @philipptasaduros8124 Місяць тому +3

    Danke/thank you, great work

  • @dibidibadibidibou
    @dibidibadibidibou Рік тому +3033

    Also there is a thing to take into consideration: dating apps are not designed to help men to find women but the exact opposite! The goal is to keep them subscribed as longer as possible!

    • @AcevedoDMA
      @AcevedoDMA Рік тому +106

      Excellent and probably most important point!

    • @ISHak2119
      @ISHak2119 Рік тому +220

      Of course, not many realize that men are the target audience of dating apps because they are the ones paying all kinds of subscriptions

    • @SrCoxas
      @SrCoxas Рік тому +34

      yeah, but most of the problems of those apps are a consequence of the bad proportion of men and women on the app, not the design of the app

    • @marvin2678
      @marvin2678 Рік тому +36

      @@SrCoxas but dont you think that these progrtammers design the app that way to make the most money ?

    • @SrCoxas
      @SrCoxas Рік тому +56

      @@marvin2678 I do think they profit on the number of men trying harder and harder to get matches, but this disparity didnt originate on purely app design, there's simply more men than women in society interested in screening potential partners online through dating apps

  • @Sari36YT
    @Sari36YT Рік тому +4233

    To all the men out there that are struggling and suffering, and I know you know just how bad it can feel, you're not alone.

    • @KO-sx9uy
      @KO-sx9uy Рік тому

      Just stop simping for ugly women caked in make-up.

    • @nirorit
      @nirorit Рік тому +2

      Eh… I don’t know you and I honestly dont care I’m not alone in it, I want a relationship not a group of failures like me to jerk one another.

    • @ExternalEclips305
      @ExternalEclips305 Рік тому +27

      Shit is so bad for me just like how Jamie said , “TERRIBLE TERRIBLE TOO SLOW” hate this shii fr

    • @nicolehoelle1401
      @nicolehoelle1401 Рік тому

      To the men out there-maybe you can now know what it has been like for women for eons. As a woman in her 50’s, I lived with the real-life inequality of a man’s world. Sorry, boys, but we have had to deal with men owning the world and calling the shots our whole lives. Finally something skewed in our favor.

    • @AnonymousBosch3158
      @AnonymousBosch3158 Рік тому +67

      I am alone. It's not necessarily a bad thing.

  • @ConcreteAdvisory
    @ConcreteAdvisory 11 місяців тому +4562

    I hate that dating is made mostly through apps nowadays.
    I genuinely HATE that.

    • @donniet685
      @donniet685 11 місяців тому +236

      I tried to get a date after matching (the whole point, right) and the chick said "she does not meet anyone unless she knows them on social media first", and she was like a 27 year old woman, not a 16 year old. LOL!

    • @ConcreteAdvisory
      @ConcreteAdvisory 11 місяців тому +207

      @@donniet685 this generation thinking their so good in social skills due to social media when it’s the total opposite. Dumb

    • @orangejacket4551
      @orangejacket4551 11 місяців тому +38

      Everything is. Whatever happened to paper cash and choosing to tip services by choice rather than have it shoved in your face every time you shop.

    • @kingsguard5614
      @kingsguard5614 11 місяців тому +16

      Its honestly the best if it works tho. I get maybe 3-8 likes a day or ~1 match/day and its way easier to meet women that are interested this way than having to go out or approach them on the street and then not beeing sure if they are even aviable or not

    • @bsherman8236
      @bsherman8236 11 місяців тому +15

      Mostly for materialistic people, i see a lot of people dating irl more often

  • @MichielvandenBroeke
    @MichielvandenBroeke Місяць тому +16

    It’s good to know that i’m not the only one. I tried a lot of dating apps over the years but unfortunately never got a date. Because even if there is a match she will be gone the next day without saying a word

    • @Jacky.c.v
      @Jacky.c.v День тому

      I can give the perspective from the other side. When I was on dating apps as a woman I got many matches. I got many ice breakers too (it's a way to message someone who didn't match with you) I was so overwhelmed by the amount of message requests but I tried to answer the ones who seemed genuine. Soon I got a lot of expectations thrown at me. Many wanted to meet immediately, which I tried to negotiate because I didn't want it to go so fast but most of the time they became passive aggressive and like "what's the point of dating if you don't want to meet me" which was not the case, but it immediately turned me off because it seemed like they didn't get what I was saying. Some wanted to meet at my or their place and tried to argue with me when I wanted a neutral spot. I went on some dates and they went fine but it didn't click and I think it was mutual most of the time, just awkward. I was still overwhelmed by the amount of people and felt bad and sometimes nausea from the pressuring. So I deleted it and never went back. There were probably great guys there but they were overshadowed by the pushy ones and the sheer amount of interest. Some didn't even seem to read my profile, just "acceptable Woman, swipe right" kinda thing.
      Some of the guys probably felt ghosted when I deleted the app and felt like I was arrogant or something and I understand why they would feel like that even though that was not my intention.

  • @MichaelSheaAudio
    @MichaelSheaAudio Рік тому +2806

    I haven't been active on dating apps since 2019. Even though I've done a lot to improve myself in that time, it's hard to go back when I know that I'm at such a disadvantage. I used them on and off for like 5 years, and never actually met up with anyone. I barely had any fruitful conversations. A stark contrast from what I've experienced in the real world. 😂

    • @T-Bone99
      @T-Bone99 Рік тому +254

      Dont ever touch them again my friend. Just don't. (Years ago) after a year of self improvement i got back on tinder and nothing, it crushed me. But it was absolutely useless and a waste of time and an unnecessary "being crushed". Could have kept the momentum going for more self improvement. I was and still am gaining a muscle, my teeth get better by the week with invisalign and i feel more and more confident. But i've learned from my mistake. Even if I turn out to be the type who would do ok on dating apps, i will still not do it. Won't make that mistake again, fuck that. I'll go down other avenues. I've been told numerous times that I'm extremely funny and witty. So i'll play on that strength and try to meet women in conversation, using humor and my skills in that area to make them laugh. Whatever i actually end up doing, i won't ever go back to dating apps

    • @exoticalBecky_Miami
      @exoticalBecky_Miami Рік тому +143

      Guys do better in person because they haven't spent their whole life learning their angles lolololol

    • @MichaelSheaAudio
      @MichaelSheaAudio Рік тому +26

      @@T-Bone99 That's awesome, I could list all the things I've worked on but it would be a novel. I've been single for almost 10 years, but I'm in a way better position individually than I was back then. It doesn't help that I don't really have local friends, I'm an introvert, I don't drink or do drugs or anything so bars and parties are off the table, and I've worked from home since 2020. I know that I get on well with women, but a dating profile is just too shallow to actually work. I want to give it another try, but the constant thought of "I'll do it after I fix this" is exactly what's wrong with it.

    • @nocturnaljoe9543
      @nocturnaljoe9543 Рік тому +20

      @@exoticalBecky_Miami Yeah... But actually *no.*

    • @Goregreet
      @Goregreet Рік тому +136

      ​@@exoticalBecky_Miamiyeah a lot of women just use dating apps to get validation though
      And then just uninstall once they got said validation
      Wasting everyones' time

  • @moorish-mellow9285
    @moorish-mellow9285 Рік тому +530

    You know, this video actually helped me a lot. I had been feeling really insecure with my experience on dating apps lately. I guess its just nice to know im not the only one

    • @CoMtLion
      @CoMtLion Рік тому +33

      Ya the stats explain why dating apps are terrible for men.

    • @cepahreinholt8710
      @cepahreinholt8710 Рік тому +2

      ​@@CoMtLionyep and people on the app are not to blame for it.

    • @david2nine
      @david2nine Рік тому

      If you are resorting to a dating app to find a girlfriend then realise that you don’t even need a girlfriend.

    • @moorish-mellow9285
      @moorish-mellow9285 Рік тому +5

      @@david2nine I mean, I'm not explicitly looking for a girlfriend. Just people nearby with similar interests. I just moved to a new city

    • @R0ndras
      @R0ndras Рік тому +15

      @@david2nine Maybe people resort to what its better for them?

  • @aki-r4v6y
    @aki-r4v6y Рік тому +1651

    This video is super well made. This is a prime example of how data can explain society :)

    • @koat1153
      @koat1153 Рік тому

      @@potatotielmore men are likely active on dating apps because as the video mentions online dating or talking to strangers online in general is scary for women, and men often are really creepy so it doesn’t feel productive. Also the whole social narrative that guys are praised to sleep around and women are put down for it (pre obvious)? The last part, “ why women are so…”, not sure where u got that from, it is proven that women date below their standards and men over achieve so let’s be real here.

    • @Svn6twomm
      @Svn6twomm Рік тому

      @@potatotielagree on your point. They way he made this video you really have to master statistics and like to play with numbers that’s for sure. But society is best tracked if you go out there and take interviews ask confidential questions. The statistics are a way to view but not to take society. We humans evolve so fast since the last world war its crazy if you take a moment to think about it.

    • @hislord1
      @hislord1 Рік тому

      @@potatotiel Women are biased towards the same good looking guys for the same reason that men are biased toward the same good looking women.

    • @ayanned
      @ayanned Рік тому +8

      Remember guys,
      It is not worth it.
      Leave them alone, let them rage with baby rabies, and let them die lonely and alone.

    • @Fl4ngerr
      @Fl4ngerr Рік тому +1

      If you leave them alone or treat them badly they will more likely get interested in you lmao@@ayanned

  • @danceswithferrets
    @danceswithferrets 3 місяці тому +241

    step 1 - Delete dating apps
    step 2 - Get a dog
    step 3 - Get dog a dog
    step 4 - Enjoy walks in the countryside

    • @rodrigobelinchon2982
      @rodrigobelinchon2982 2 місяці тому +8

      I don't like dogs , but it is a great strategy to meet girls walking her dog

    • @averychilco
      @averychilco 2 місяці тому

      @@rodrigobelinchon2982 A dog is way more expensive than a woman, atleast she can get a job. 😂😂🤣🤣

    • @haterade3.029
      @haterade3.029 2 місяці тому +1

      Nobody can marry a f
      Dog and start a family

    • @CS_Star_0m
      @CS_Star_0m Місяць тому +1

      Women don't like men on dating profiles because they check out and chat to other women. This is why women chose to date guys without social media. Many men have an issue with it. It's not a battle any woman wants to fight. So if she is on a dating site, she might not be the best of person or likely not in for a serious relationship.

    • @PurXion_legendary_777
      @PurXion_legendary_777 Місяць тому

      ​@@CS_Star_0mDon't you dare do that don't give me hope. I've been on the verge of giving up and almost considered a dating app until I saw this.

  • @Kinesis17
    @Kinesis17 Рік тому +1250

    This has accurately summed up my own experience with dating apps, my brother and I have discussed this endlessly with frustration.
    I had no problems dating as a teen, had a few healthy relationships and typically had a "normal" level of engagement. I even met my last two girlfriends on dating sites in the early days of them, but as time went on I've gotten less matches, less conversations started and less actual dates until I gave up a couple years ago. It's almost ironic, I feel that I have more to offer in a relationship than ever before between numerous hobbies, a successful career that's growing and lots of free time, I just want to experience someone else's passions too and share my own. For lack of a better explanation as my assets have increased my prospects have decreased. It's backwards from what I saw my parents and their friends enjoyed during their time. I've learned to be happy being single, it's not the life I always wanted but you make of it what you can.

    • @xanderq
      @xanderq Рік тому +61

      preach brotha, you have just described my life to a T. Goodspeed in finding that partner

    • @DesertStateInEU
      @DesertStateInEU Рік тому +150

      Except this video is a watered down version of reality. The most famous statistic is from tinder, where 84% of women only like the top 4% of men.
      This is insane. They're all expecting to end up with christian gray from the movie. A young billionaire with his private jet.
      And thats not addressing the other problem I noticed - If its obvious based on your profile bio that you're a conservative, your profile will be actively suppressed, hidden, sabotaged, etc.
      Theres examples of messages not going through, and matches disappearing even though neither of us unmatched each other.
      Its 21st century eugenics.

    • @onebridge7231
      @onebridge7231 Рік тому +95

      Because your parents talked to strangers face to face, but now everyone walks around like zombies with their noses glued to their phones. Next time you see someone not on their phone and naturally make eye contact and the setting is appropriate, then strike up a conversation and ask the person out on a date.

    • @4bidn1
      @4bidn1 Рік тому +109

      @@onebridge7231 Was thinking about this the other day actually, Was sitting waiting for my pizza outside the pizza shop, there were a few other customers also waiting around for their dinner, I was the only one not looking at my phone while waiting.. 10 years ago that small local pizzeria would be full of customers making small talk amongst each other and chatting with the shop owner (who used to be considered a local legend), and yet in that moment I felt super out of place and weird simply because I WASNT looking at my phone and was fine just sitting there not being stimulated by a screen.. Was a bit of a sad moment tbh.

    • @des1nteress3
      @des1nteress3 Рік тому +63

      @@DesertStateInEU Of course, make it sexist lol. Not to be rude, but I see so many of my female friends matching with guys I think are UNDER their league. It's mostly that some just can't engage at all or have very boring profiles with fishing and dogs. No offence to dogs, but women know the trick by now.

  • @jmatrix0053
    @jmatrix0053 Рік тому +503

    Really liked how you structured the models by adding changes one by one, rather than just showing the final product at the end. really let’s you see the impact of each factor better than way.

  • @shakaraeq4674
    @shakaraeq4674 11 місяців тому +2750

    This doesnt even go into the whole issue of fake accounts where a lot of your matches are actually just sex workers or scammers.

    • @donniet685
      @donniet685 11 місяців тому

      In my 20 years casually researching online dating I can confirm 100% that most apps create fake profile databases and also try and get men to pay for their paid services by sending fake likes etc.
      On this one dating site I did not even set up a profile properly (including NO PHOTO) and within 48 hours I had several like notifications via email inviting me to "pay to see who messaged me".

    • @howardg5934
      @howardg5934 10 місяців тому +87

      I've spent plenty of time on a popular dating app for seniors, reporting fake profiles. A sense of accomplishment in an environment that otherwise breeds depression.

    • @DeadCat-42
      @DeadCat-42 9 місяців тому +1

      I swiped left on all the O F prostitutes and land whales..
      Reached the end without seeing one women I would want to date.

    • @endlessstudent3512
      @endlessstudent3512 9 місяців тому +72

      Or how many of the men are actually married, just looking for someone to cheat with.

    • @DeadCat-42
      @DeadCat-42 9 місяців тому

      Yeah, at this point the majority of female accounts are old ones that never got deleted, scammers, only fans prostitutes or just the regular kind. And morbidly obese single moms looking for a seven foot millionaire athlete.

  • @saxorskittle3839
    @saxorskittle3839 2 місяці тому +3

    As someone who uses dating apps and is currently studying statistics at uni. That was very informative and a very well tested and evaluated hypothesis. So thank you for the information but also for the statistics

  • @retsof4916
    @retsof4916 Рік тому +4232

    I'm 29 and went out with a 42 year old woman about half a year ago. She expressed frustration that she had only been on tinder for a week and had over 5,000 likes. She even opened the app on her phone and showed me.
    5,000 men to choose from, in just a week. For a middle aged woman with kids
    Mind-Boggling.

    • @vladdascalescu
      @vladdascalescu Рік тому

      You pretty much won at life... Was she some kind of a MILF or?
      Yes, some of us men are getting desperate in trying to find a partner just for a little chit-chat, but they wouldn't even bother to do that, to see if we can go ahead or not. I don't mean the creepy rude desperate guys or mysoginists but the normal guys like you and I, with pro's and cons.
      Ofc, nobody would expect them to answer to hundreds/thousands of guys, but at least choose like 10-20 out of them and see how it goes.

    • @pauldiaz4273
      @pauldiaz4273 Рік тому +5

      90% of those 5,000 are married or have girlfriends !

    • @sparingpickle4918
      @sparingpickle4918 Рік тому

      It seems mind boggling…… Then you realize the majority of men are losers nowadays to it all makes sense lol 😂

    • @rando4858
      @rando4858 Рік тому +487

      So many simps out there, they dilute the market!

    • @xysarenottheprize
      @xysarenottheprize Рік тому +267

      Which is why I’ll never believe in the mythical „wall.“ You males will date anything. 😂

  • @catmacleod6241
    @catmacleod6241 Рік тому +2939

    I did this once as a bet with some of my female friends who had a very distorted view of dating apps for the obvious reason shown in your study. I did not "play the numbers" but only swiped on women I genuinely was interested in. I fared better than average but still shocked my femaie friends with the experience men have. I generally think men are a lot better off not engaging in dating apps unless they are extremely attractive AND very rich... however men like this don't need dating apps. The industry really seems to prey on the loneliness of men in general and makes money off of boosting profiles based on that loneliness.

    • @portman8909
      @portman8909 Рік тому +158

      i don't give dating apps any money. That's for escorts.

    • @christiantaylor1495
      @christiantaylor1495 Рік тому +29

      ​@@portman8909How do you make sure they're not being sex trafficked?

    • @Sllee93
      @Sllee93 Рік тому +17

      Yeah what a dark industry

    • @portman8909
      @portman8909 Рік тому +1

      I have no way of 100% knowing. That's up to the government to make sure they are protected and independent. Pimps illegal here.@@christiantaylor1495

    • @eafesaf6934
      @eafesaf6934 Рік тому +1

      ​@@christiantaylor1495mm??? There are hundreds of women engaging in their own terms in the sex industry. Escorts especially have generally more independence then the local prostitute...

  • @masonharkness6437
    @masonharkness6437 Рік тому +1562

    Honestly, I’ve started asking women out in person since I finally found the confidence and self esteem to do so and man it’s been so much easier and less mind boggling than dating apps
    Edit: damn this got more attention than I thought it would lol but my dudes I’ve just started to be more social and put myself places where I’m able to meet new ppl. Doesn’t have to be the club or whatever, say you go to the dog park and there’s a cute girl there and you strike up a convo and things seem to be flowing well that’s when you follow it up with a question like would you want to go get coffee sometime?
    Second edit: just to be fair I get told no thank you I’m not interested way more than I hear yes but you gotta try and understand your not gonna be everyone’s type and that’s okay it’s not a knock on you

    • @G_xx_
      @G_xx_ Рік тому +54

      Thats great to hear bro. Keep it up

    • @cem96
      @cem96 Рік тому +24

      is that not that easy days people are afraid to their lives get ruined or Are afraid to get hurt. People have unrealistic standards relationships. Not all people have the the means. Most are broke. Maybe make folks should make their standards a little bit more realistic

    • @MrPetersCyka
      @MrPetersCyka Рік тому +144

      @@cem96 i had a stroke reading this

    • @OzixiThrill
      @OzixiThrill Рік тому

      Just remember - Dating apps have a financial interest to make women feel wanted and keep men desperate for anything.

    • @Keivz
      @Keivz Рік тому +16

      #Metoo ruined asking out work colleagues and the pool got much smaller after that. I saw dating apps as the only way forward and eventually got lucky, but it was a rough road for quite awhile there

  •  15 днів тому +10

    Dating apps… incredibly depressing and a complete waste of time and they cost hard earned money….. a total fool’s game.

  • @RYUZAKILL117
    @RYUZAKILL117 7 місяців тому +1085

    Even before watching this video, I had the differences clear: A friend and I made our profiles the same day, at the same time, she almost immediately got enough matches to even start using some of the chats as “meme chats” (non-serious conversations), while it took me one whole day to get a single match (and that match ignored me, btw). As the days passed, she had felt so overwhelmed by matches, that she started to think about deleting the app, while in the same time, I only managed to get 3 matches, and all of those 3 ignored me.

    • @ALEX-fq7hh
      @ALEX-fq7hh 5 місяців тому +195

      Dating as a woman is living life in tutorial mode

    • @kirotheavenger60
      @kirotheavenger60 5 місяців тому +108

      ​@ALEX-fq7hh it blows me away how they complain about it.
      "I get so many matches, I don't know how to choose 😩" without an ounce of irony

    • @NovellNUSoulSeries
      @NovellNUSoulSeries 5 місяців тому +53

      It's ok. I'm ugly too bro.🙌💪

    • @grumpydroo
      @grumpydroo 4 місяці тому +110

      After becoming disillusioned with dating apps I did a little experiment. I created a new profile of a woman that didnt exist, with an AI generated average looking portrait, first name, and date of birth, and nothing else. Within 2 days the profile had hundreds and hundreds of likes, along with 2 dozen messages. Some of these messages were a page or more long. It was wild to me that men out there are so desperate they would put that much effort into pursuing a person that they essentially knew nothing about. It then all made sense how easy women have it in the dating market.

    • @deepquotes3319
      @deepquotes3319 4 місяці тому

      ​@@grumpydrooimagine if all of them was sending you money 😅💰💰

  • @ganig.5531
    @ganig.5531 Рік тому +883

    Your analysis is quite accurate. In my recent experience using Bumble (first time trying out online dating apps), where I was active for more than 3-4 months improving my profile each day in that period of time, I hardly had 2 likes and no matches. And I always thought that I was better than other men who liked any girl that they saw, that I will not swipe right on any random girl and only the ones that I found interesting enough or were of my type. But, after having no luck for some time I started rethinking on my type preferences and started liking anyone out of desperation, thinking that will atleast get me any matches. But no luck again. And being a data person, I knew that it is the statistics thing and also there's only so much you could tell about yourself from your profile for the other person to decide whether they want to date you or not. Anyway, its a good scam business playing out on people's desperation to find a way out of loneliness. Good luck!

    • @aprilpower1158
      @aprilpower1158 Рік тому +96

      Bumble is funny. Its supposed to be an app where women is in control of the dating, but in reality it forces them to take the first action (of writing first message). But that is out of their comfort zone so it usually ends up with "Hi" or not even writing anything. Some girls even have "I don't write first" in their bios, and I don't know how that works on Bumble lol.
      And yes, when the girls are in control, that also means they are even more picky and getting matches is even harder.

    • @kingsguard5614
      @kingsguard5614 Рік тому +11

      I got 50+ likes in 2 weeks with 1 week beeing inactive having good quality pictures helps as average dude. Some of my hot friends get 150+ likes within just 2 days. Some men simply experience dating apps like women do.

    • @yamanjain
      @yamanjain Рік тому +11

      I've made plenty of fake ideal profiles choosing the best possible profiles I could find and even pictures of models. One or two matches per month.
      There simply aren't that many girls in the area where I live.
      Comparatively much better in cities like Hyderabad and Bangalore.

    • @lukamagicc
      @lukamagicc Рік тому +4

      Wow that ending was bitter lmao

    • @kristersgrauze8636
      @kristersgrauze8636 Рік тому +8

      @@yamanjain if you had that level of matches with model pics it means you are banned. If you want to properly experiment in 2023 for each new profile you should get at minimum - a new SIM, new FB profile, reinstalled app.

  • @Thereisnorules
    @Thereisnorules 2 місяці тому +9

    Most men do mass right swiping. They don't even look at the profiles

  • @corvora0
    @corvora0 Рік тому +1919

    So I clicked on this video thinking it was a 200k+ views video, with the excellent thumbnail, attractive title and honestly excellent amount of clickbait.
    Color me suprised to see the video having a few hundred of views with an incredible quality of animations, voiceover and topic coverage.
    As a (future) data fellow I say bravo! Easy to understand and an interesting take. Deserving of a comment, to help improve your outreach.
    Cheers and keep up the excellent work

    • @memeabledata
      @memeabledata  Рік тому +61

      Thank you!

    • @adrienjose2266
      @adrienjose2266 Рік тому +10

      Truly well done video!

    • @Nickel_Eye
      @Nickel_Eye Рік тому +9

      well it's at 24k now so it's growing fast

    • @RareTS
      @RareTS Рік тому +5

      this channel will def explode soon

    • @danielwhyatt3278
      @danielwhyatt3278 Рік тому +2

      I totally agree. I would’ve thought there would’ve been a lot more by now very quickly.

  • @JustinAllegree
    @JustinAllegree Рік тому +475

    This honestly helped with my view of self worth. It's been over a year since trying a dating app and I've moved on from that, but the memory of those feelings still hangs and I could never quite grasp or comprehend what was going on and why I was having the experience that I did. This helped bring everything into the big picture that I failed to see before. I wish I could have seen your video before I ever got started, I might have even stuck with it and gone for the long run. This is a great video and I hope it can help some other poor guy from having the same experience that I did, either by using the system, or avoiding it completely, either way.

    • @schweiz555
      @schweiz555 Рік тому +11

      this comment hit the nail on the head. I felt the same

    • @jirkazalabak1514
      @jirkazalabak1514 Рік тому +30

      I tried it for about a month or so, and it was one of the most miserable experiences in my life. I feel like a lot of people are focusing on the matches, but honestly, the main problem for me was the unbearable boredom. Most people you like never like you back, most people you get matched with never reply to your text, most people who reply to your text never want to take it any further. Hours and hours of staring into my phone spent doing stuff that was neither fun nor useful. It´s just so much more straight-forward and more fun to just start talking to someone you like, try and guess if they like you back, and then go from there. You can either ask them directly, or just go away if the interest just isn´t there. Either way, you get some valuable experience and most importantly, you get an answer, which allows you to move on.

    • @tylerbreau4544
      @tylerbreau4544 Рік тому +12

      @@jirkazalabak1514 For what it's worth, chances are nearly all of the people you liked on the app probably never saw your profile.
      Which means it's not necessarily that they didn't like you but rather you were never presented to them as an option.

    • @arzhur8006
      @arzhur8006 Рік тому +5

      Bro why are u using a dating app just get out there

    • @azureth354
      @azureth354 Рік тому +5

      ​@@arzhur8006my guy you have a point, really I should have made moves while I was back at my old work where I got along with most the woman there but I was too much of a coward back then to say anything 🤦‍♂️. I have had one match in tinder that resulted in a relationship, that lasted 1 month ended cus we wanted different things.

  • @liopleurodon155
    @liopleurodon155 Рік тому +1992

    Also, think about it from an app developer standpoint. If you find someone on a dating and start a long term relationship, the app loses two customers forever. The incentives for the devs are to design the apps in such a way as to keep you hooked, and let you win small amounts (few likes, maybe a match), but to never let you hit the jackpot like in a casino.

    • @matthewlozy1140
      @matthewlozy1140 Рік тому +203

      Eh maybe. That's really short sighted though. You want success stories that friends will share with each other thus attracting more users. There will never be a shortage of people looking for relationships. Trying to keep as many users as possible on their platform isn't necessarily their goal. Their goal is money which comes from ads and the paid buffs they sell. Having those aspects actually works will be good for them in the long run.

    • @TL-sk6xf
      @TL-sk6xf Рік тому +54

      Not really tho, if I found a successful relationship through an app then I would recommend that app to others. This scenario is definitely a better strategy than whatever ur saying

    • @BlondeQtie
      @BlondeQtie Рік тому +39

      but everyday new people turn 18 and want to use the app if it works. you have unlimited people if you’re good.

    • @sithticklefingers7255
      @sithticklefingers7255 Рік тому +18

      You make a great case for them to be heavily regulated or banned for public health reasons.

    • @liopleurodon155
      @liopleurodon155 Рік тому +3

      @@matthewlozy1140 Fair point taken

  • @davidcole2913
    @davidcole2913 Місяць тому +5

    This seems exactly accurate to me. 6 months on dating apps and I’ve gotten 4 likes and 5 matches, two of which were scammers/catfish.
    I am an above average looking male. A 7 or an 8 depending on if I clean up or not. Over 6 feet tall.
    It is unbelievably defeating to put in effort just to feel like I’m wasting my time for nothing.

    • @ajensenlec
      @ajensenlec 2 дні тому

      Maybe try asking some of your female friends to look over your profile and give you suggestions. I would say I’m attractive but still a normal guy def not a chad and I’m only 5 8, 130. But I get like 2-3 matches a day. I think a big part of it is guys just making shitty profiles and not knowing how to present themselves or take pictures of themselves 😂

  • @bennemann
    @bennemann 11 місяців тому +646

    This video was an invaluable resource in helping a friend get over his depression due to his lack of success in dating apps. We are very glad this video exists, thanks a ton for making it!

    • @cseptember6562
      @cseptember6562 11 місяців тому +2

      How did it help him?

    • @bennemann
      @bennemann 11 місяців тому

      @@cseptember6562 He took his lack of matches personally, blaming it on his looks and hurting his self-esteem.

    • @Imnotavirgintrustme
      @Imnotavirgintrustme 11 місяців тому +37

      @@bennemannsame, I thought I was severely ugly as I had like 5 matches after like 3 weeks but now I realise I’m probably just average at worst. Helped a bit knowing that most guys have no success

    • @nevergiveupbaby1720
      @nevergiveupbaby1720 10 місяців тому

      Lack of success is because you are unattractive. Thats all there is to it

    • @Chraan
      @Chraan 9 місяців тому

      @@cseptember6562 It really helps knowing that it's not you. If you are someone who doesn't blame yourself inherently then you wouldn't get it. But there are people who need to check whether it is their fault, and that is just not possible. Until this video.

  • @kaw8473
    @kaw8473 Рік тому +413

    One major factor I experienced was living in a medium-sized city, with a smaller town nearby. I had 2 men from the same town literally beg me to date, where they were willing to drive 2 hours, round trip, to date me and I'm not conventionally attractive. I feel terrible for those guys because the odds are even more unfair towards them.

    • @biglee13m
      @biglee13m Рік тому +61

      I believe you. The chance of an average male getting any match is so slim, would do everything to not let go of the opportunity because you never know when the next match is going to be. That's where dating apps come in and cash in on the males. Making them feel like they can boost their chances by paying them. Sure... some extra exposures maybe but your chance of getting swiped left stays the same.

    • @marvin2678
      @marvin2678 Рік тому +3

      round trip ?

    • @veloso98
      @veloso98 Рік тому +33

      I drived 3 hours to see a girl that didn't said a single word to me. BUT her sister asked for my instagram, so i take that has a win.

    • @veloso98
      @veloso98 Рік тому +7

      Drove*

    • @alsparkproductions7849
      @alsparkproductions7849 Рік тому +12

      ​@@veloso98odds are the sis said that for you to get off her sister.

  • @audioin9105
    @audioin9105 Рік тому +2694

    We need to bring back lots more community events such as dances, jazz clubs, etc where the point is for people to have fun and meet potential partners naturally, in person.
    Have never been on a dating app and don't ever want to!

    • @CaptainHanneman
      @CaptainHanneman Рік тому

      Won’t work. Online dating gives women access to higher tiers of men. Modern women have no interest in average men.

    • @natashadickson4819
      @natashadickson4819 Рік тому +192

      Dancehalls and nightclubs are a nightmare of harassment for women by guys who are under the influence of substances. Bring them back if you want to...I don't think that will help. I met my guy at a farmers market in the city (Vienna, VA)...in daylight.

    • @CEOofCTOs
      @CEOofCTOs Рік тому +94

      gotta get everyone off their phones and outta their homes! buncha gremlins

    • @jd-zu5ok
      @jd-zu5ok Рік тому +34

      Look up articles on "third places." I think there's a good one on the Atlantic rn but there's many

    • @jd-zu5ok
      @jd-zu5ok Рік тому +18

      Dealing with guys is a muscle and unfortunately for the newer generations that muscle is atrophying.

  • @FANTAVISION
    @FANTAVISION 3 місяці тому +8

    My WORST relationship was with someone I met on a dating app. Never again.

  • @deputydrip4520
    @deputydrip4520 Рік тому +3009

    This is why I never bothered with dating apps. The advantage you have as an average-slightly above average looking guy and approaching in person is unmatched.

    • @majorbajor
      @majorbajor Рік тому

      Dating Apps are everything that's wrong with social media dialed up to 100%

    • @ChinchillaisGod
      @ChinchillaisGod Рік тому +620

      It's usually the same story even if a girl isn't on a dating app, though. You're probably not the first guy to approach her in that week, not to mention she very likely has dozens of men in her Instagram DM's. The amount of competition is unbelievable. I've looked through the DMs of a slightly above average woman with around 500 followers on IG (with her consent), and she was averaging 3 DMs per day from either completely random men or men who had mutuals with her. Then you think about a woman who is very attractive (8+), there has to be an insane amount of guys DMing her every single day. Not only the competition, but the mere fact that a girl is getting multiple DM's per day and gets guys approaching her on a regular basis will send her ego to the stratosphere, which is why most 5's and 6's think they're 10's. Men in the west are visually desperate for a relationship and companionship, so they start treating women who aren't very attractive like they are, which in turn makes the girl think every man should treat her like that. It's a dangerous cycle men have created in recent years, which will only lead to annual new records of singleness, loneliness, suicide rates, reduced marriage rates, increase in children born out of wedlock, and slowly the deteoriation of our society as a whole. It's very sad to witness what is going on in real time in the west.

    • @kyv2431
      @kyv2431 Рік тому +3

      @@ChinchillaisGodyou’re missing the entire point of the original comment. DM’s are not real life interactions and are synonymous with dating apps from the women’s perspective. You need to chill and actually touch some grass. You might have a better chance of getting laid

    • @manyseas1219
      @manyseas1219 Рік тому

      ​@@ChinchillaisGod what are you smoking ? Women dont get an ego boost when they get 10 dms every day by creepy old dudes sending dick pics. Men are not allowed to talk about their feelings and emotions without being labeled as less weak, fragile and less masculine by other men, which is also why suicide rate are higher among men. Most marriages fall apart, because of financial instability.
      Many men are addicted to video games and let them self go, which is why they are lonely. They dont know how to cook, do laundry or dont go to the gym and then expect their girl friend to do it for them. Maybe meet women offline, befriend them and then see how it goes and if she doesnt want to be your girl friend then move on. But basic social skills are lost when you dont have social circle. I see so many guys throw a tantrum like a child if they dont get what they want.

    • @papakias3922
      @papakias3922 Рік тому +33

      Why don't you quit them permanently then? There's no point

  • @rmtsapphire0
    @rmtsapphire0 Рік тому +861

    This was my experience with tinder. I'm a man and I called it depression simulator.
    I match a week or a fortnight. Friends always want to see your profile so they can make it better in their eyes. Seeing female friends get it and immediately drown in matches.
    I remember at one point they had tinder gold which just flatly let you see who liked you so you could skip swiping through and was devastated to find there was only one.
    It also made being ghosted or talking to women who had no intention of going out far worse.
    Having said that, I did eventually find my current partner of 4.5years on there.

    • @deusex9731
      @deusex9731 Рік тому +41

      Dating apps have a lot of bot accounts or accounts that are run by people that work for the app, so they can talk to you and keep you hooked in the app

    • @sline1276
      @sline1276 Рік тому +70

      @@deusex9731so you are saying that the only person that liked him was a bot? 😂

    • @rmtsapphire0
      @rmtsapphire0 Рік тому +39

      @@sline1276 tbh, probably.
      I only matched with my partner because I super liked.

    • @RodrigoDTVilla
      @RodrigoDTVilla Рік тому

      @@deusex9731 Oh, do they? I never found it here. lol

    • @RodrigoDTVilla
      @RodrigoDTVilla Рік тому +24

      Yes, I understand you. I met my ex-wife and previous girlfriends on Tinder. What usually happens here is that I receive likes but from people that I didn't like, so the matches are hard to get. And most women I have matched doesn't want or know how to have a proper dialog. They answer with few words, vague, without interest... I click unmatch.

  • @awesomekraken
    @awesomekraken 6 днів тому +8

    i dont care how bad life gets, im never using a dating app

  • @quetzalthegamer
    @quetzalthegamer Рік тому +2081

    Just to describe my experiences with dating apps:
    I started using them pretty much right when I graduated from high school (8 years ago). Turned 18 in March of 2015 and graduated in June/July of that year. Since then I've used about 7 different dating apps. Let's see if I can remember all of them.
    -Tinder
    -Hot or Not
    -Bumble
    -Plenty of Fish
    -Match
    -OK Cupid
    -Facebook's new dating section
    8 years. 7 apps. Swiping on thousands upon thousands of profiles. Guess how many women I've met with in real life through those apps. One.
    These apps are horrible for men's self-image and self-esteem.

    • @chrishastings6487
      @chrishastings6487 Рік тому +238

      I'm on 2 meet ups in 16 years.
      These apps, combined with other external factors such as social media and reality TV, have caused the required levels of attractiveness etc to climb way above and beyond anything I'll attain. I probably used to be considered a 6 or 6.5, but by todays standards I've probably been pushed down to a 4 or 5.
      Just for clarity, I have no kids, don't smoke or do drugs, drink lightly, have my own house, own car and a decent income. You'd think that would be a strong base for dating/relationships and put me in a good position....nope.
      Sadly, I accepted long ago that it's going to be a life alone for me.

    • @JuliusAhenkora
      @JuliusAhenkora Рік тому +39

      I think it shows you which areas you need to work on as a man. It's a cold, hard world out here and even professional "pick up artists" who do the whole cold approach thing report the same number of success presented here. If you aren't in the top 10-15% of men, you likely won't see tons of matches/dates overall. Imo quality is better than quantity, so use everything at your disposal, dating apps, gyms, coffee shops, bars, etc. To find your one.

    • @Zyn_RS
      @Zyn_RS Рік тому

      Probably just not attractive dude, I’ve met hundreds of women off of online dating apps.
      You should try working on yourself instead of blaming the women or the apps.
      Hit the gym, be more interesting. You have to make yourself desirable as a man.

    • @naushinrahman2479
      @naushinrahman2479 Рік тому +108

      self esteem comes from WITHIN. Stop thinking that a relationship is going to fix that. There is more to life than dating stop whining all the damn time

    • @CoMtLion
      @CoMtLion Рік тому +55

      Agreed. These apps are terrible for men and we should stop using them.

  • @MemeticsX
    @MemeticsX Рік тому +770

    When I was curious about the imbalance phenomenon in dating websites, I analyzed hundreds of profiles and discovered that most of the female profiles were fake - duplicated language with only slight revisions, profile pictures plagiarized from elsewhere on the web, etc. This was the case on three popular dating websites I studied (though this was over a decade ago). I concluded that the sites were padding their female profile numbers because otherwise they wouldn't have enough female profiles to keep the male customers interested with enough material to look through.
    That may still be the case - a high number of fake female profiles for padding, which would skew the match results even more severely.

    • @lordraiden007
      @lordraiden007 Рік тому +112

      Also take into account the real accounts by women on the apps for purely financial reasons. It’s not uncommon for a profile that matched with a male to only send out messages asking for onlyfans subs or other monetary exchanges.
      It’s not just the company padding their numbers, many people are using these apps to exploit others for personal gain.

    • @kirkmooneyham
      @kirkmooneyham Рік тому +29

      The more female profiles that the app can get up on the site, the greater the "engagement" by men with the app. Seemingly one of the biggest scams ever perpetrated.

    • @identity__thief
      @identity__thief Рік тому +32

      Several sites, including Ashley Madison, got caught doing this so I don't doubt it for a second

    • @Trylena
      @Trylena Рік тому +31

      This is true. I have tried dating sites as a straight woman and my experience is nothing like the video. I got a couple of matches but not that many, I might get a Hi once or twice a year but mostly get ignored even when I am the first who send the message, and I have seen so many male profiles with no information so I swipe left.
      Dating sites are a scam.

    • @ElPato8
      @ElPato8 Рік тому +29

      ​@@Trylenagirl... You are just not attractive if you dont get matches 💀 like everyvwoman i know get 99+ likes is less than an hour

  • @j.l.parker
    @j.l.parker Рік тому +1036

    This is brilliant. Thank you!
    I hope men who are disappointed with their performance (for lack of a better word) on dating apps will watch this and feel better knowing the odds are not in their favor in any way. Even being statistically more generous with their likes puts men at a disadvantage in some cases! Some apps are actually coded to show the profiles of users who like indiscriminately to fewer other users.

    • @spentcasing3990
      @spentcasing3990 Рік тому +46

      I know I don't feel better. I actually feel kinda worse

    • @maxxxy94
      @maxxxy94 Рік тому +13

      except you are highly attractive, then you have a great performance however

    • @danieldaniel-ol6dz
      @danieldaniel-ol6dz Рік тому +21

      See that's a nice thing to think about. But I can't help and not flip it on myself anyways. How am I supposed to succeed not being in the top 10% of the men? When conclusively, that's what women like?

    • @scoper7897
      @scoper7897 Рік тому +4

      @@danieldaniel-ol6dz i mean you have to be just above average in 40% or so. Then just put money and thinking on your look. keep your hair in check. use bubblegum and stay in shape. Boom ur in ''10%''. My friend whos literally average looking man is one of that ''10%'' because he always going to gym and is smooth talker in every situation. He doesnt stress social situation and that landed him a female that is 10 in my opinion. Its not all about your looks but you can still improve alot how you look like. And last and most important part. Dont smell like sh--. Pay attention to your perfume and pay attention to your hygiene. Use mouthwash and use perfume that FEMALES like. NOT what YOU like. Even if that car oil smells fantastic it might not be the most attractive thing to use perfume that smells like it

    • @koc3127
      @koc3127 Рік тому +18

      @@scoper7897 listen to this ESL poster, just chew bubblegum and redeem woman sirs

  • @philbob_d9254
    @philbob_d9254 День тому +1

    My experience on dating apps was nothing short of terrible. I'm really sorry that I wasted my time. Thanks for uploading this video

  • @zonkz6947
    @zonkz6947 Рік тому +757

    This doesn’t even factor the 0.0001% likelihood that you are to actually meet one of these few matches IN PERSON.

    • @AXharoth
      @AXharoth 7 місяців тому +1

      bc it doesnt need to

    • @rexx9496
      @rexx9496 7 місяців тому +50

      Yeah, getting a match is just the top of the funnel. Half the matches don't even respond when you send a message. Then of the ones that do respond most of those quickly fizzle out before any date can be set up. Then by the time you get one to agree to meet up there's probably a 50/50 chance it won't lead to a second date or sex. So a guy has to probably get at least 20 matches just to have enough volume in the funnel to even get to the point of having sex.

    • @SozjeCat.
      @SozjeCat. 6 місяців тому +1

      ​@@rexx9496If that is the goal. You're better off hiring a sex worker.

    • @platinumfalcon798
      @platinumfalcon798 6 місяців тому

      ​@@rexx9496 *basically none of the matches respond
      and if they do, it's just a 'hey' or 'hi' or some other word for "I don't want to put in effort. So you must do it."
      Yes, I've had shitty experiences on dating apps, I'm just tired of it

    • @kingpluto555
      @kingpluto555 6 місяців тому

      ​​@@rexx9496,
      I just used Bumble the past week, and that app really suffers from the "no response" issue because of the gimmick of women making the first move. From what I've heard, most women on the app actually FORGET about the 24-hour time limit because they expect the man to take the lead; the man can't do jack shit. Thus, nothing happens and the time runs out. You're better off consulting a matchmaker agency. I would say AI girlfriend, but you have to pay the extra buck just to talk to a make-believe person for the whole year. Paying for an AI was definitely one of my worst life choices.

  • @Redrash12
    @Redrash12 Рік тому +460

    The thing that compounds how bad dating apps are, is that once you get out of college (as a man at least), you have to go out of your way to be social, to events, find classes/groups with women if you want an even half-decent chance of "putting yourself out there." And even then, you actually still have to be proactive in terms of approaching women within those spaces, because chances are, unless you're decently good looking you're going to have to make the first move. For someone who is a natural introvert and keeps to themselves most of the time, this is incredibly difficult, hence I feel like dating apps are my only realistic options, after experiencing rejection in-person and feeling out-of-place in social scenarios.

    • @andymac6207
      @andymac6207 Рік тому +48

      If introversion has anything at all to do with genetic predisposition, I don’t got a single damn clue how did that gene not die out millenia ago.
      As an extrovert man, I think if I was an introvert I’d be guaranteed to never ever even be on a date.
      Maybe this gene survived because the prospects are a bit different for introvert women…

    • @dallor09
      @dallor09 Рік тому +42

      @@andymac6207first that was very rude to say
      second, If you are an introvert use that to your advantage. Try to make friends online and then meet them in person. If you find a cumumity for a game you like or something go to an in person meetup and you will find people like you

    • @mr.simulator4724
      @mr.simulator4724 Рік тому +80

      @@dallor09 nothing was rude, your just soft

    • @dallor09
      @dallor09 Рік тому +12

      another thing you could do is do things you do by yourself, like reading, handheld gaming, or drawing at a park or a coffee shop. that way you only have to interact with the people you want to, and you don’t get too tired too fast

    • @mr.simulator4724
      @mr.simulator4724 Рік тому +14

      @@dallor09 do u have adhd

  • @valjean76
    @valjean76 Рік тому +101

    video followed by a bumble ad...flawless.

    • @ions82
      @ions82 5 місяців тому +1

      Nine months after this comment, I got a Bumble ad, too. OLD has run its course.

  • @Sparrow-76
    @Sparrow-76 19 днів тому +1

    I used dating apps for a year and only got 1 date, and that was with a single mother 12 years older than me who was living with her parents.

  • @sanmatteo12
    @sanmatteo12 Рік тому +345

    100% accurate, I stopped using dating apps for good. The most I got out of it, was interaction with scammers. The dating apps themselves are a scam. We are even paying to get scammed.

    • @jermsmason2082
      @jermsmason2082 Рік тому +33

      "dating apps, now you can pay money to have even more women ignore you!"

    • @Nickoftime2023
      @Nickoftime2023 Рік тому +7

      Yeah, after getting rejected again and again irl i figured dating apps would expose me to more people that were similar to myself. After paying for multiple dating apps over several years and getting no matches I just gave up.

    • @КоляКоронов-к9э
      @КоляКоронов-к9э 11 місяців тому +1

      Расскажите когда и как вас пытались обмануть ?

    • @christophermoshier
      @christophermoshier 11 місяців тому +1

      I went to dinner with a lot of scams then.

    • @vyacheslavpetrov4713
      @vyacheslavpetrov4713 11 місяців тому

      @@КоляКоронов-к9эthere are people who pretend to be female or just a likesbke person. And mid conversation they can ask you for some “help” by lending them money or something is sorts, when you do so, they just leave.

  • @glennday7802
    @glennday7802 9 місяців тому +336

    The business model of the dating app industry is to prey on men that are desperate for a date. It's basic economics.

    • @pootypump7440
      @pootypump7440 9 місяців тому +10

      Indeed.

    • @raezor82
      @raezor82 3 місяці тому

      And it’s a demoralization program against the goyem.

    • @emreduygun
      @emreduygun 3 місяці тому +3

      @@pootypump7440sad , shouldn’t be that way
      No man or woman should be taken advantage of

    • @CAHSR2020
      @CAHSR2020 3 місяці тому

      @@emreduygun So long as it only degrades and defrauds men it's okay.

  • @joshuamakesbank
    @joshuamakesbank Рік тому +693

    This video is just incredibly well made, I love how transparent and detailed you are about the limitations of this experiment. You could probably turn this into a phd thesis

    • @alaalfa8839
      @alaalfa8839 Рік тому +1

      Except for the echo noise. Even after lowering the volume the noise remains, but you don't hear clearly what he says. It's on many videos.

    • @EEEEEEEE
      @EEEEEEEE Рік тому +1

      E‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎

    • @revenger211
      @revenger211 Рік тому +4

      @@fredrezfield1629 well obviously there are more factors than he could cover, it's a stimulation for a UA-cam video. Get over yourself.

    • @Enonymouse_
      @Enonymouse_ Рік тому +1

      Dating sites will not reveal this kind of data because if they did, they would go out of business.

    • @Ryan-gx4ce
      @Ryan-gx4ce Рік тому +1

      This is not PhD worthy by any stretch of the imagination. It's a great video. But it's barely even the math behind a freshman math major

  • @planetofthegapes
    @planetofthegapes 25 днів тому +4

    1. Be attractive
    2. Don't be unattractive

  • @TheSterlingArcher16
    @TheSterlingArcher16 Рік тому +496

    When I met my wife years ago (IRL) she asked how many tinder matches I had. I felt pretty good having about 120. She had told me she rarely used it and was picky about who she swiped on.
    She had 1200 matches.

    • @woIfson
      @woIfson Рік тому +48

      so u basically got 10X'd

    • @keithdube12
      @keithdube12 Рік тому +41

      1200😭😭😭 just imagine

    • @businesswoofer
      @businesswoofer Рік тому

      wouldnt wanna be with someone like that lol. imagine the amount of men she probably met and had sex with. yikes

    • @invictusdomini8624
      @invictusdomini8624 Рік тому +18

      Absolutely Pareto Distributed. 😹😹😿

    • @biglee13m
      @biglee13m Рік тому +61

      I got bored one day and created a female account with average attractiveness to see what other males look like... you know, to gauge your chances in the pool... and then "oh my god" the app was blowing up crazy day and night. Yup.. I believe you.

  • @mattc9009
    @mattc9009 6 місяців тому +1108

    The only winning move is to not play.

    • @Beginning-l3s
      @Beginning-l3s 4 місяці тому +39

      or convince everyone else not to play so you're the only option left

    • @Redfizh
      @Redfizh 3 місяці тому +1

      It is true victory move. 🫡

    • @ZafrasF
      @ZafrasF 3 місяці тому

      Yeah, tinder women are not worth it since dating IRL is so much easier for them, just the worst women use dating apps. If they are not ugly, they have some other big problem.

    • @downsclan
      @downsclan 3 місяці тому +13

      Greetings Professor Falken

    • @alangriffith1006
      @alangriffith1006 3 місяці тому +14

      I agree with OP. Really just stay away from dating apps. There's plenty of other ways to find someone, and meeting in person first before agreeing to any dates is a huge game changer!

  • @Ilnur-v6z
    @Ilnur-v6z 11 місяців тому +403

    The fact that I got an ad for a dating app on this video is crazy.

    • @eyflfla
      @eyflfla 9 місяців тому +7

      Not really? A person watching videos about dating apps is very likely to be the target audience for a dating app ad.

    • @Ilnur-v6z
      @Ilnur-v6z 9 місяців тому +14

      @@eyflfla I get that. I’m mostly implying that the audacity of is wild.

    • @0mn1P4wn4g3
      @0mn1P4wn4g3 8 місяців тому +5

      Use an adblocker.

    • @dizzyhaha640
      @dizzyhaha640 7 місяців тому +7

      Let me guess…Bumble. They’re having to advertise because men have figured out that it’s house rules for the guys and we’ve been quitting or switching to no pay in droves. Their profits are down 35% year over year. Another fun fact: starting last week men can now make the first move for a chat. Because they found the women “got anxiety” about making the first move and won’t engage. Big suprise. “I want control but I have no idea what to do.”

    • @bojackfishman4135
      @bojackfishman4135 7 місяців тому

      ​@@dizzyhaha640Golden comment

  • @manishrathi6436
    @manishrathi6436 4 дні тому

    What I noticed apart from what you mentioned is, how different ages display differently. Girls in 18-19-20s will barely mention anything, while some fish for Instagram followers, ladies in their middle or late 20s put efforts and mention things they like.
    Furthermore, the less information the dating app asks (tinder) the more likely chances are that people focus only on pictures, and not at all on personality and "about me" section.

  • @darkdudironaji
    @darkdudironaji Рік тому +634

    This actually made me feel really good about myself. I never got a lot of matches, but I always got a few. Turns out, that makes me a 7/10.

    • @ayanned
      @ayanned Рік тому +32

      Remember guys,
      It is not worth it.
      Leave them alone, let them rage with baby rabies, and let them die lonely and alone.

    • @2FadeMusic
      @2FadeMusic Рік тому +62

      @@ayanned what is baby rabies lol

    • @ayanned
      @ayanned Рік тому +21

      @@2FadeMusic the rush to have babies when they reach the "wall" (years of decreasing fertility)

    • @josephmother2659
      @josephmother2659 Рік тому +36

      @@ayannedif someone wanted a child then they would have one would they not?

    • @verchojanskij
      @verchojanskij Рік тому +111

      @@ayanned You don't need to grow bitter and misogynistic in order to start valuing yourself more as a man. That's one of the great lessons I learned through my depression. And I've had very healthy relationships with women ever since, both as lovers and as friends.

  • @xavikortekaas9174
    @xavikortekaas9174 5 місяців тому +459

    Dating apps destroyed my confidence. From a pool of like 400 girls nobody wanted me, so why would they want me if I talk to them in person. It is a cycle that is hard to leave. These apps just strengthen your insecurities. Delete them and start looking in the real world. Looking IRL can be scary, but at least it is real.

    • @avidier7347
      @avidier7347 Місяць тому

      Trust me girls want you, if you look in the real world they want you. You just got to see the signals they give you, open your eyes and stop looking down at your phone.

    • @emissarygw2264
      @emissarygw2264 Місяць тому +15

      Depends where you live. Around here nobody will even make eye contact with anyone outside their clique. Combined with working desk jobs, I think I went like a year without even meeting a new person, let alone someone attractive I wanted to date. I eventually found my wife on a dating app, though it took nearly a decade. On the app I was using, they'd show your profile to a lot more people if you showed back up after a long break, my wife was one of them 😊

    • @sstreakzzzz
      @sstreakzzzz Місяць тому

      the dating app is telling u smth bro. if u ever wanna join the blackpill lmk. i did and its the best and worst thing ive ever done. The bad thing is that i can never look in the mirror and be happy with myself. im in therapy but it doesnt help. i survive off of the approval and compliments of women. the good thing, though, is i get a lot of it. i get treated totally differently. whether its simple things like fixing my hair, whitening my teeth, or surface level looksmaxing like bonesmashing, zygo pulling, and accutane, to the real stuff like hopping on steroids and looking like a fucking greek god, put it all together and youre a completely different person; you get treated like it too.

    • @Centurylamar88
      @Centurylamar88 Місяць тому +7

      you have a better chance at scoring a girl in real life then online. if you asked 100 girls on a date in person will get some yes's, online you might go 0/100

    • @emissarygw2264
      @emissarygw2264 Місяць тому

      @@Centurylamar88 I'd probably just avoid trashy sites like tinder. There are others where they actually try to do things better.

  • @ronj9448
    @ronj9448 10 місяців тому +101

    I used the internet for dating back in the old days of 2000-2010 when you had to put essays along with your pic and be witty. I would meet about 3-6 women in a few weeks in person that I liked and would pick two that I would take seriously and start seeing. All of them said my essays caught their attention. In the swipe world of today, I would lose badly.

    • @vaidasjan3201
      @vaidasjan3201 5 місяців тому

      I was also using dating websites around 2000-2006 (no smartphones were available yet) and it were really working! Lamentably after divorce I tried to use it nowadays..I found that over 95% of apps are scammers with 100% fake profiles and the rest (as a Tinder) you will win in Loto a million dollars easier than you will find woman there. Nowadays online dating - is over. Only history.

    • @bs4427
      @bs4427 5 місяців тому +5

      I remember those Myspace days. You could actually meet real girls online back then. I remember friending a girl on myspace, sending her a whole page essay as a hello letter and she actually liked what I had to say and we met up. She liked the fact that I took the time to write her that much. I think people in the world needs to take a breath and slow down like we used to. We are so overloaded these days with info that we feel like we have to rush through all the content so we can see it all but doing this we lose the actual human experience that used to be present in our realities before the internet and during its invention.

    • @storagecrafter5701
      @storagecrafter5701 5 місяців тому +1

      I would say woman those era also more open to relationship than nowadays generation

    • @lilquakeroats554
      @lilquakeroats554 4 місяці тому +2

      @@storagecrafter5701 that's because there weren't that many desperate men back then, once they started showing up in waves, women took advantage from all the attention and became picky

  • @StToNutSht
    @StToNutSht Місяць тому +2

    To be fair this video really describes my experience with online dating and dating apps, except unfortunately the 1% of interaction that I do receive is usually from scam accounts or accounts that reveal they offer "services"
    It's super frustrating to say the least

  • @mariusg8824
    @mariusg8824 Рік тому +825

    I like about this, that it is surprisingly precise with very few assumptions. It doesn't address toxic behaviour, regional differences, communication strategies etc.. still it creates a good theory why dating apps leaves most users frustrated (on both sides actually), and gives a hint what might be improved.

    • @PartaMr
      @PartaMr Рік тому +10

      How does toxic behaviour impact likes and matches? It happens after you've hot a match. Same with communication strategies.

    • @LovelyAngel.
      @LovelyAngel. Рік тому +60

      ​@@PartaMr women get toxic messages, so they use the app less and less until they quit

    • @mariusg8824
      @mariusg8824 Рік тому +34

      @@PartaMr You behaviour will adapt depending on your experience. If you encountered toxic behaviour once, you will probably adjust how often and which profiles you like in the future.

    • @PartaMr
      @PartaMr Рік тому +2

      @@LovelyAngel. This is already reflected in the overall ratio of men/women.

    • @LovelyAngel.
      @LovelyAngel. Рік тому

      @@mcnair435 Even if a woman gets 100 nice messages and 5 that are toxic, it discourages them from using the app because human brain is constructed in a way that it is more likely to store and recall negative memories. It's basic neurology and you're being ignorant towards it. Go read a book.

  • @CopyCaden00
    @CopyCaden00 Рік тому +590

    I wish this video came out 3 years ago when I was still using Tinder, Hinge, and Bumble all at the same time. Watching my objectively attractive male friends get 40-50 likes per day versus my 1 a week was infuriating. I knew the apps were rigged but I didn't know to what degree. This video is very useful for people who struggle with the issue of self worth. My self worth was tied to those apps and with every passing day it fell lower and lower.
    I am now happily married (someone I met on Hinge actually), but even still learning about this math makes me feel better about myself in hindsight.

    • @andymac6207
      @andymac6207 Рік тому +45

      Boom, there you go, married to someone from Hinge, so in the end of the day it was worth it :D

    • @wolfsilver8373
      @wolfsilver8373 Рік тому +11

      Well feel ya.. a colleague has like hundred of match in each apps and just don't care and don't even bother to speak to them (that's like... for ego i guess?)
      While on my side, never ever had a match :/

    • @288theabe
      @288theabe Рік тому +1

      I was in the same boat 2 years ago, bro. It was when I only used those apps less seriously was when I found my current love (no marriage...yet).

    • @NoidoDev
      @NoidoDev Рік тому +5

      @@andymac6207 Warning about these apps existed for at least a decade or so. He ignored them or the recommendations didn't reach him. Same for the warnings about getting married. But "I wish this video came out 3 years ago when I was still using..." Dude...

    • @Littlevampiregirl100
      @Littlevampiregirl100 Рік тому +11

      if its any relief, to anyone, attractive people tend to mostly attract superficials and narcissists that think they deserve them. attractive men in particular, i can imagine, have a harder time finding nice people, because they may be assumed players, just from looks alone. if your more attractive friends got much more likes, its likely not from the kind of people you would want attention from in the first place. happy to hear you got someone genuine out of it

  • @RecklessEnterainment
    @RecklessEnterainment Рік тому +302

    I’ve literally never been on a date with anyone off a dating app and this explains why. It’s so difficult to even match with someone let alone get a convo going with them.

    • @Nediac800
      @Nediac800 Рік тому +68

      Your first mistake was not being a top 1% man or a mildly attractive woman

    • @newmexicoballer3867
      @newmexicoballer3867 Рік тому

      Wow I'm lucky. I had a hot woman fly from Japan twice to US to see me just for sex.

    • @xxwales15xx33
      @xxwales15xx33 Рік тому +11

      I've been on plenty of dates from tinder and alot of the women talked a big game or looked amazing had personalities of a wet flannel 😂 meeting someone in real life is way better or I prefer hinge I'd you haven't heard of that

    • @stopthecap4317
      @stopthecap4317 Рік тому +26

      @@Nediac800 You don't even have to be attractive as a woman on there lol

    • @jasonskeans8889
      @jasonskeans8889 Рік тому

      @@xxwales15xx33what makes Hinge better? I didn’t notice much difference

  • @TucznikNieboży
    @TucznikNieboży 13 днів тому +7

    These apps need to be destroyed.

  • @Matt-uy8tw
    @Matt-uy8tw Рік тому +770

    I was at my peak using Tinder when it launched. I think the landscape was different in the beginning because I got a lot of matches. At the time, Tinder was great. I was meeting women, and for the first time, I was rejecting girls rather than trying to make a relationship work that wasn’t ideal for me. I met one girl, and it was wild; we were finishing each other’s sentences, and that’s the girl I married. I feel bad for the guys of today. I wish everyone had an experience like I had that was looking for a genuine relationship

    • @sabiofilosofo1306
      @sabiofilosofo1306 Рік тому +24

      First, congratulations on your wedding, amazing story! What do you think changed on Tinder from the time you used the app to today?

    • @ApriliaRacer14
      @ApriliaRacer14 Рік тому +100

      @@sabiofilosofo1306It brought the worst out of female nature. Women would call it leveling the playing field others would say it makes women too similar to men. Male nature hasn’t changed but is know…much more cautious about LTRs and marriage…too much to lose anymore especially with a anti-male family law and court system.

    • @pamparam3495
      @pamparam3495 Рік тому +9

      I met my wife in tinder too

    • @gnack420
      @gnack420 Рік тому +9

      ​@BGH2008actually the numbers don't back that up.

    • @HonderdtachtigCC
      @HonderdtachtigCC Рік тому +13

      @BGH2008 Thats how your guaranteed to die alone. Everything in this world is luck based, luck and hard work. If luck fails you, you have to go and get it yourself and that means alot of failure before succes. I agree with being yourself ect but to attract female attention you need this things: Social status, Friends, Funny, Money. and if your lucky your: Handsome, have female friends or a friend group with a lot of females associated, Have a lot of females in your're working place. If you dont have any of these it wil be extremely difficult or even impossible as a man to find a spouse in 2023, Females are the choosers they have A LOT of options due to social media and simps. Ive seen girls age 14 to 27 with 100+ unopend snap's and Dm's of boys of all ranges even guys who drive's Benz's Bmw ect and the girls are average. You need to make yourself worthy and be a good catch, cause your competing with a lot of other dudes. But remember to have a spine and self respect.

  • @MoempfLP
    @MoempfLP Рік тому +522

    I have to compliment this video:
    - Nice visualization
    - Using real life figures with sources makes the model very realistic
    - It teaches men not to lose hope or self esteem

    • @AustynSN
      @AustynSN Рік тому +13

      Problem is that actually using any of the apps have already convinced us hope is a lie and we are worthless.

    • @Tobi-xf8ez
      @Tobi-xf8ez Рік тому +4

      Actually the video is wrong. When using 667 males and 333 females there are even less matches overall. The actual numbers for 3:14 are *0.93 for the average amount of matches for men and 1.87 for the average amount of matches for women*. In his video he used 200 men and 100 women, not 667 and 333.
      Though the ratio is still the same in the end.

    • @EEEEEEEE
      @EEEEEEEE Рік тому

      ‎‎‎‎‎E‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎

    • @melikmourali2072
      @melikmourali2072 Рік тому

      ​@@Tobi-xf8ezI've checked it. You're right 👍

    • @cl00x3r
      @cl00x3r Рік тому

      @@AustynSNlife is about worthless finding worthless and making worthy one

  • @ChargedTTq
    @ChargedTTq Рік тому +693

    I've spent the last ten years researching the sociology of dating.
    And your model is basically spot on. Consider that there's even more factors that are unfavorable to men in real life.
    Oh, and that the app makers are predatory as well. Fake profiles abound.

    • @joegambitt7414
      @joegambitt7414 Рік тому +14

      Sorry but what are those other unfavorable factors in men life, im just curious

    • @MylesKillis
      @MylesKillis Рік тому

      @@joegambitt741490% of the women a man sees in a day on the apps are fake, social media influencers, looking for a friend, already taken but bored, or is gonna get swooped on by a man in the top 10% tomorrow

    • @nidhoggstrike
      @nidhoggstrike Рік тому +107

      I recently interviewed with a company that needed chat operators. I decided not to take the position when it became apparent that the job was not to be a chat host as advertised, but to personify fake female profiles so men would get their hopes up and keep paying for memberships on a dating site. I never figured out which dating site this was, but it made me lose the last bit of faith in online dating I had.

    • @tgheretford
      @tgheretford Рік тому +49

      People have to realise that dating apps are a profit-making business and so how that app is designed is done to maximise profit.

    • @Voskos
      @Voskos Рік тому +15

      About the app makers, what I found for my expiriements is that at the first days, I make a profile or come back I usually have more likes like 5-6 so I suppose as a new user to be hooked up I get shown to more people which drastically decreases the next days.

  • @e.c9866
    @e.c9866 4 дні тому +1

    99% of the men I match with, they never speak to me and the chat stays inactive....so my guess is they are getting lots of matches too ;)

  • @Styx-Lo
    @Styx-Lo Рік тому +543

    What a comforting video. I just started using tinder about 2 weeks ago and my confidence went down the drain, especially this weekend. I don't even think I'm ugly, I get approached at least once a night when I go to the club. Yet on tinder I'm sitting with a cool 5 likes (it was at 3 like 5 months ago when I quit so pretty much 2 likes in the 2 weeks). I hope as many men as possible see this video before they assume they are unwanted.

    • @mindman1234
      @mindman1234 Рік тому +77

      honestly dating apps are toxic imo, i deleted them all. idgaf if im single forever lol

    • @sementhrower9161
      @sementhrower9161 Рік тому +10

      Yeah it's fked, tinder was so much better back in the day 2015/2016

    • @Ludo045
      @Ludo045 Рік тому

      Bruh.. You're an ethnic. Your ratio will be low on average.

    • @natebetzen
      @natebetzen Рік тому +43

      Two likes in two weeks? Who are you, Casanova? Last time I was on a dating app I think I got one like in a full month.

    • @sick-sea100
      @sick-sea100 Рік тому +32

      Why are you on Tinder if you get approached at night clubs? Why do you add to the competition that we, who don't even get that, have to face? Is it just an ego thing?

  • @Kekkuli9
    @Kekkuli9 5 місяців тому +401

    As a man this does reflect my experiences with Tinder. I talked to an attractive female friend who had also tried a dating app and she had a similar experience to this video. What is interesting is that she told me that she wasn't even flattered: she felt that she doesn't matter at all, because the men are only interested in her because she is a woman and they have a physical need towards her. I'm inclined to feel less bitter after this knowing that the opposite side doesn't feel very empowered with this situation either.

    • @lequoiscontreonu
      @lequoiscontreonu 5 місяців тому +59

      Exactly. 90% of men on apps just one one night stand/ situationship not a relationship.

    • @Kekkuli9
      @Kekkuli9 5 місяців тому

      @@lequoiscontreonu It might also be that 90% of those top 15% men are like that while rest of the men get culled.
      I could try to hook up with those unattractive girls who do like my profile, but I consider that unethical, so for those girls it probably looks like every guy who initiates a conversation is only looking for a hookup.

    • @smashbutton3922
      @smashbutton3922 5 місяців тому +79

      I'm surprised how many people think we have it easy because we get matches. The truth is,it feels like we don't matter at all. We know men swipe right on pretty much anyone ,and they rush to taking us off the app asap "to have an advantage" over other men. They don't try to get to know us. It sometimes actually feels super demeaning even. We have to try and select men who we think will not hurt us or take advantage of us based on very little info ,we don't physically have the time to talk to everyone we match with,and people feel offended when you don't go out with them off the bat. So there's definitely downsides on both sides

    • @purplewine7362
      @purplewine7362 5 місяців тому

      ​@@smashbutton3922 I would love to be in your extremely difficult situation.

    • @GluhfunkeDE-sk2il
      @GluhfunkeDE-sk2il 5 місяців тому

      @@smashbutton3922Even a one night stand is someone willing to have an interaction with you. When we don’t get a response from woman it feels like they’re saying „you’re so unappealing that I wouldn’t even consider a one night stand with you, much less a relationship.“

  • @0giwan
    @0giwan Рік тому +329

    This basically echoes my experience with dating apps, and is why I stopped using them. Also, the "if they do match she knows it's probably because he's liking every other profile" very much explains how many women's profiles say to not play games.

    • @ShadowPhoenix82
      @ShadowPhoenix82 Рік тому +6

      I don't think that's what they mean by game playing

    • @mtninjas
      @mtninjas Рік тому +9

      That's just code word for the hot guys I keep matching with just use me and dump me, my young brother. Most of the time they continue to go out of their way to keep choosing those bad guys. But that's just part of the game. As a man you just keep building inner and outer value. Eventually you reach a point where you are not thirsty for low value women

    • @G0rdy92
      @G0rdy92 Рік тому +5

      I’ve had a fun time on them, met plenty of people, been on some fun dates, have had relationships with girls I’ve met on them. I think it’s how you present yourself/ your attitude going into it. I’ve seen some terrible profiles from dudes. Dudes that just aren’t helping themselves/ arnet in a good spot physically, professionally and mentally. Need to make sure you are squared away on that front and then get on the apps and have fun (and I don’t mean sleep around, I mean legit have fun, think of fun dates, be actually interested in the person you matched with, be funny and go into it not thinking about when you are going to sleep with the girl you matched and just enjoy the time you spend and you’ll enjoy it. Coming from a dude that isn’t Brad Pitt handsome but has had good luck

  • @ButchersNailsEnjoyer
    @ButchersNailsEnjoyer 3 місяці тому +1

    People are online and on apps so much too that you’re seen as a creep for approaching in person.

  • @amasirat
    @amasirat Рік тому +106

    This video is honestly great motivation for me taking my engineering probability and statistics course in Uni seriously

  • @benjamindanielsen5204
    @benjamindanielsen5204 Рік тому +108

    I stopped taking dating apps seriously after my first year or so of using them because on the odd moon mondays when I do get matches, there's a significant likelihood that the other person just never responds back, doesn't put much effort into the conversation, or unmatches within a few minutes.
    Out of probably the dozens of matches I've had over the 3 years I've used them, only one has ever resulted in a date, and even then that date went terribly because (and I wish I was making this up) she started spouting off nonsense about how the birds outside were spying on her.
    At this point I don't have any hope of finding anything meaningful on them and just use them to look at the bios, and I gotta say one of my favorites was a girl who was scared of lobsters that had a picture of her reacting to her friend holding it up to her.

    • @chinashorts1491
      @chinashorts1491 Рік тому +6

      These apps expose the laziness of women. Really put it on stage.

    • @vignotum132
      @vignotum132 Рік тому +15

      @@chinashorts1491nah bro it just exposes that the women don’t need to try. If it were the other way around, men would be just as “lazy”.
      In reality, both men and women are lazy when it comes to doing unnecessary work, which is what women improving their profiles would be

    • @ikaros6453
      @ikaros6453 Рік тому +7

      Come on now. It’s a well known fact that all birds died off decades ago. And were replaced with government surveillance drones. Why else do they always sit on power lines?????? Cause the got to recharge their batteries.😂

    • @superjare23
      @superjare23 Рік тому

      @@vignotum132 Just be gay. It's been working wonders for me! :)

    • @OzixiThrill
      @OzixiThrill Рік тому +2

      The fact that you somehow managed to catch a person who buys the "birds are government drones" stuff while using a dating app is hilarious to me.

  • @Rondo2ooo
    @Rondo2ooo 8 місяців тому +231

    I'm 52 now. I got divorced at 40 and tried dating apps for a few occasions afterwards. It was the most weird and unnatural type of "interactions" I had in my life. Ghosting was a default. I then decided to go out, subscribed to real people networking events and happenings, and eventually met a lot of different people the traditional way. Some became close friends.
    Rather by coincidence I met my second wife after two years with this group of people through a common friend. We acquainted traditionally, dated slowly and stayed together. We are very happily married since 7 years now. My best move in life.

    • @blahblah2779
      @blahblah2779 8 місяців тому +4

      I’ll take “things that have never happened” for 100, please

    • @Rondo2ooo
      @Rondo2ooo 8 місяців тому +53

      @blahblah2779 If you think people don't acquaint without dating apps, you must be living under a rock or be a kid. In either case, I feel sorry for you. Ask you parents, how they met.

    • @Anna-bo5dk
      @Anna-bo5dk 5 місяців тому

      @@blahblah2779 what? you don't know any people that met their partner in real life??? 50% of my friends did, including me, and all my three relationships started by meeting a man through friends, on the train oder at a social gathering.

    • @Lucy-pg3fe
      @Lucy-pg3fe 5 місяців тому +2

      I love this!

    • @ricky.t.1658
      @ricky.t.1658 5 місяців тому +1

      How can i do this please

  • @starship1701
    @starship1701 Рік тому +645

    I've only used dating apps a few times, and only met a couple of women. I ended up pushing myself to go out with women I wasn't actually attracted to. I had convinced myself that these were the only women that will bother giving me attention, so I should try and make it work no matter what. It didn't last very long. There's nothing wrong with them, it's just that a relationship simply can't work without attraction. I pulled away as politely and respectfully as I could - the least I could do is tell them how I feel and why I wished to stop talking. I haven't used any of these apps in years now. The experience just wasn't great and I think for a lot of guys it just isn't worth our time.

    • @ptracey5998
      @ptracey5998 Рік тому +43

      When the options are pretty bad that's about the same as no options

    • @rayflyers
      @rayflyers Рік тому +55

      Be selective and just accept that you'll get fewer matches. We don't like talking to men who aren't actually interested in us. That's why we try to be selective.

    • @tiffanyribbons
      @tiffanyribbons Рік тому +28

      It isn’t worth anyone’s time, no matter the gender honestly. What ever happened to asking a friend to be your wingman?? That’s the best option nowadays. Not too direct, and you can show your interest without scaring a lady away due to how unsafe the world can be for women.
      (Take advice if you’re looking for it. If not, don’t read)
      The second best option is to go up to a lady you fancy, with a reasonable distance so she knows you won’t grab her or anything; maybe like four to six feet apart. Be Polite and gentle of course. And simply ask. Example. “Hello. I don’t mean to be weird but, I have seen you around and I was wondering if you were looking for any dates. If that answer is no, that’s okay.”
      If the lady says yes, then, proceed with a lighthearted convo to set up a date. (PUBLIC PLACES ONLY for the first dates)
      If the lady says no, don’t take it personal. Simply say, “I see. Well then, Thank you for your time.”
      And don’t approach the woman again if you see her again out and about.

    • @Lyu-Phy
      @Lyu-Phy Рік тому +55

      @@rayflyers You are selective, because you can, not because you care so much about men. You only care about Chad.

    • @mistrdavid
      @mistrdavid Рік тому +4

      I personally dont care about attraction. 😅 But it doesnt mean i would want anyone. I need same values. And its not easy.
      Never had anyone. Still dont know if better place is dating apps or irl... In real life i cant ask some stuff immediately. And in dating apps... You know... I dont have many options. Change values? No. Definitely no. I tried ask my values once and it ended in total lost of my identity. You dont want to question your values rationally. Because values are in its core, emotional.
      Then i need to be patient. And i choose to not care about look and other stuff. To higher my chances. I need to compensate my values and personality somewhere... 😅 Maybe my way of thinking is terrible but only time will tell. 😊

  • @guilhermemaia3790
    @guilhermemaia3790 Рік тому +31

    Loved the video and the topic! Please keep going. You deserve more traction and will eventually get it. Hard work pays off! LFG 🚀

    • @Tom-b9r1o
      @Tom-b9r1o Рік тому +2

      LFG. Looking for girlfriend? 😂 just kidding

    • @guilhermemaia3790
      @guilhermemaia3790 Рік тому

      @@Tom-b9r1o
      Ahah could be, though! But it means "Lets fucking go"

  • @redo1122
    @redo1122 Рік тому +238

    I did exactly that with my friend. We are both 18 and lack a friend group. I started a week early, after a week of my experience I convinced her to try and see. She has heavily surpassed what I've got in a week in just an hour. Dating apps are a scam boys.

    • @davidbolha
      @davidbolha Рік тому +16

      Mhm. Just boycott it. 😏😎

    • @11froglegs
      @11froglegs Рік тому +7

      Scam city for Most😢

    • @flch95
      @flch95 Рік тому +9

      Man, you guys are young. Good luck. Can’t imagine dating nowadays.

    • @GodEmperor_
      @GodEmperor_ Рік тому +17

      I will say this a lot of my friends that are girls have said to me they just like the attention "the desire to be wanted" that's why they use it. Bonus tip a lot of them also said they're not going to risk meeting a stranger they found on app either a girl who does is "desperate" yeah do what you want with this info.

    • @theoaky8924
      @theoaky8924 Рік тому

      @@GodEmperor_ I could of told you that, but appreciate the anecdote.👍

  • @themike97_58
    @themike97_58 6 годин тому

    easily the most annoying thing about dating apps now is the fact that they are completely unusable unless you shell out $20/month which is absolutely absurd. you have to pay to see who likes you now, and im 90% sure that these apps intentionally hide profiles from users that like you while you're swiping through profiles so you dont discover them organically.

  • @FusionRey
    @FusionRey Рік тому +409

    This is an extremely important video for our current day and age. I personally have past experiences of feeling insecure and a lack of confidence when it came to receiving so few matches on dating apps. I know I'm not "unattractive" and I have a lot of good qualities, so it was discouraging to think "Well I guess I'll never find anyone" since dating app likes/matches are so skewed.
    I think this video is so important right now because it gives great believable data to show *why* this is happening, and that it is *not* the fault of most of the men who may feel down or insecure about this. This discrepancy was created not only by the design of the app itself, but how things have developed in our society. This data allows both men and women to know that we do *not* need to measure our self-worth and romantic success based on what we receive with dating apps, as it is very clear that these online dating apps *do not reflect reality.*
    It's time for us to think of an alternative. Ironically, probably going back to trying to meet people in person, lol. Which would probably be better if there were no dating apps and people learned how to respectfully and confidently accomplish meeting and building positive relationships with people in person and around their community.
    That, or the highly unlikely creation of a different kind of dating app which takes into account these discrepancies, as well as not being profit driven.

    • @lextacy2008
      @lextacy2008 Рік тому +17

      This all good on paper, but meeting people in person is a two way street. Women still have not been brought up in a way that places emphasis on equality. This is why women still are attracted to toxic people.

    • @DavidNikkiZane
      @DavidNikkiZane Рік тому +15

      this makes me feel like I'm either 1. cold approaching someone who is just minding their business, or 2. tricking them into thinking I'm their friend over days or weeks... or months... or years, only to announce my 'true intentions' and making it seem like the friendship was fake

    • @gotnokush
      @gotnokush Рік тому +20

      Bro don’t sweat it. I’m above average in looks and have a great career. I receive one like every few days if that. Hardly no matches at all. In real life I’ve been told how Handsome I am several times by the opposite sex. I’m in no way conceited I’m just trying to show you that it has nothing to do with that. Tinder withholds matches and likes in order to get men to fork out money. It’s a known fact. Hold your head high bro. Live your life and interact with women that attract you in real life. Don’t fear asking them out. Most men don’t because they fear. You know how many unattractive men I see with hot chicks. I see it slot. You aren’t unattractive. Do your thing bro. Take care

    • @bean6803
      @bean6803 Рік тому +5

      ⁠​⁠@@lextacy2008 No offense, but as a woman I can just as easily say the same thing for guys. Do you know how many times I’ve seen headlines about women who murdered their partners followed by dozens of comments from horny guys saying they’d give her a chance? If you want to argue that women are attracted to toxic people, I’d argue that it cuts both ways (neither of which I agree with, btw).

    • @APiccolo
      @APiccolo Рік тому +4

      ​@@gotnokushI have such a similar case. Just recently I've been getting compliments from women in the night. But my bumble and tinder profiles are sad. Well... It turns out apps mustn't be capturing the full picture

  • @brianhuang7596
    @brianhuang7596 Рік тому +2085

    For all the men out there, it's time for us to go old school. I recently deleted all the dating apps and went out in the real world to ask girls out, which took lots of effort but made some progress. Don't lose hope. It's not you. It's exactly what was explained in the video.

    • @voroldrwarfff8858
      @voroldrwarfff8858 Рік тому

      time for us to kick women out of school

    • @MrShankaPerera
      @MrShankaPerera Рік тому +117

      for that, you need to master to face rejection.

    • @SeaToSummit-bk1qy
      @SeaToSummit-bk1qy Рік тому +54

      ​@@MrShankaPereraWhat have you got to lose?

    • @terrafluent4238
      @terrafluent4238 Рік тому +66

      you mean you are going to harrass women everyday? Bothering them when they are doing grocery, in the gym or at work, is that it? If there are such disporportions in an app designed for that, do you know how annoying and intrusive on a woman's life would it be for her to deal with men asking her every hour? I hope some woman severely humiliates you after such an attempt so that she can save other women from your harrassment.

    • @MrShankaPerera
      @MrShankaPerera Рік тому +24

      @@SeaToSummit-bk1qy dignity. Because i know at least for myself it wont be a soft reject. There's no much difference between tinder and cold approach.

  • @genewang8826
    @genewang8826 Рік тому +146

    Please don't stop making these videos! The way you showed your research process and even the data volume just made the result ten times more convincing, informative and insightful.

  • @runertje550
    @runertje550 Місяць тому +2

    I made a post about this yesterday on a dating subreddit. Talking about how I’m not getting any likes or matches, and how its really hitting myself esteem.
    I then got banned from the subreddit due to hateful speech..

    • @PuroTells
      @PuroTells Місяць тому +2

      First of all, delete Reddit and social media, your perception about women and dating will change, trust me.

    • @runertje550
      @runertje550 Місяць тому +2

      @ I gotta tell you that I’m not a full on Redditor, and I am very grateful for that. I only went on Reddit here and there to sometimes ask about advice about something, but it never was like a daily thing. So, I dont want you to think of me like that.
      Deleting social media is a bit difficult to do. I did however delete all dating apps. I genuinely already feel a lot better

    • @EYBeats
      @EYBeats Місяць тому +1

      Bruh i also got banned from a dating subreddit. It was about dating advice.
      I've always been respectful and never called anyone names. The only thing that i did was generalized but based on facts. They didn't like that and banned me...
      I'm in a relationship for like 8 years and i know its hard out there but some people just don't want to hear the uncomfortable truth

    • @runertje550
      @runertje550 Місяць тому

      @@EYBeats its crazy. The subreddit is there to help people in need. They then ban people without warning for the SMALLEST of things.
      Apparently, the reason why I got banned was because I said the sentence “I wouldn’t call myself a white knight, but I am not on a dating app to take advantage of people” , or something along those lines.
      They then banned because “white knight” is a form of hatespeech against genuine good guys.
      Like bro, this is literally the single most biggest piece of BS I have ever seen. They literally ban people because they are easily-hurt-redditor-neck-beard-baffoons. If they had read my comment, they would have seen I had no ill intend.

  • @KaybeCA
    @KaybeCA Рік тому +229

    OkCupid did a big study on this years ago. They flat out stated that for men, it's far far better for them to step out into the real world and meet women the old fashioned way. Online dating is a huge self esteem killer for the bottom 90% of men.

    • @Transilvanian90
      @Transilvanian90 Рік тому +13

      Eh, it depends which ones you use. I'm not top 10% in terms of looks but I still get some decent results, especially on Hinge, less on Tinder.

    • @FrostedMike
      @FrostedMike Рік тому +6

      The issue for me is that I work only evening-night shifts. I'm literally not available when the best time to find a date is the evening. It's dating mid day when everyone at work or nothing so dating apps are the only choice I got.

    • @tgheretford
      @tgheretford Рік тому +44

      You're not going to have any real life success unless you have a social circle who know other single people within their circle. And that becomes practically impossible when you hit your mid-thirties onwards because everyone has partnered up, get married and raise children. Also, single people tend to be left out of social gatherings because they don't gel with everyone else who is coupled up. Even online, the vast majority of people meet in social groups via social media and instant messaging groups, not via online dating.

    • @FrostedMike
      @FrostedMike Рік тому +13

      @@tgheretford And this is the issue I'm having: when everyone are out and socialize, I'm hard at work and done when everyone are back home already to sleep. I literally can't go with friends often enough because work.

    • @christiansaenscheidt9056
      @christiansaenscheidt9056 Рік тому +5

      @@Transilvanian90 Because attractiveness for most women, also of profiles, isn`t really based on looks. Something most men don`t really get. The top 10% of men in interactions aren`t the same as the top 10% ranked by looks, eventough there is large overlap.

  • @vairoxx4031
    @vairoxx4031 Рік тому +291

    We all know the problem behind this but you made it crystal clear.
    I hope this video will go viral. You earn way more attention for that!
    By the way I have never seen a dating app video or article that explained better whats going on.
    Highly appreciate it

  • @DJYoue
    @DJYoue Рік тому +150

    This actually makes me feel a lot better about myself, I just got out of a loooong relationship and thought I'd try dating apps and it just crushed my self esteem a little, when the numbers are put like this it feels a lot better!

    • @Durmomo0
      @Durmomo0 Рік тому +15

      This is exactly what happened to me. The ending of the relationship and then dating apps can be soul crushing as an unpopular man.

    • @MrPhilips02
      @MrPhilips02 Рік тому +6

      You’re not alone. Me and my ex of a 5 year relationship broke up. I forgot how to even flirt; and the fact that i work quite a lot doesn’t allow me to meet many people, which makes dating apps seem like the only option sometimes…

    • @micha4431
      @micha4431 Рік тому

      Same here. Single for 2 years.

  • @TopKat1
    @TopKat1 Місяць тому

    I've always been aware of these statistics but still stunning to see the results of each of your scenarios. I split up with a long term partner last year and never been able to bring myself to going on those apps (other than for about a day or two to see if she cared). As a guy in my 40s who desperately wanted more kids, the chances of finding the right person would be even worse. On the other hand my ex-partner was all over the dating apps and racking up interest (she told me how many likes she had etc) and was talking to other men before she even let me know she was finished. It just makes you lose faith and hope in people altogether.

  • @samb3396
    @samb3396 Рік тому +508

    I was on a dating app, I found this girl and instantly felt like she was a great match based on her profile. We matched and started talking. For about a week I was texting this girl and was trying to setup a date. Later that week, my little sister tells me I've been catfish and one of my old hs friends was behind the profile. I come to find out it was true. This happened a few weeks after my crush got a boyfriend. I've never been so emotional distressed in my life.

    • @lotusflute2104
      @lotusflute2104 Рік тому +4

      you should have asked her snapchat

    • @KoeSeer
      @KoeSeer Рік тому +38

      idk the timeline between your crush and tinder but,
      1. why are you not focusing on the crush before you go to tinder? if you're on tinder while going for your crush, you deserve to lose both.
      2. are you looking for coping mechanism for your heartbreak? imagine if she's real and want to meet you. You'll realize one day you're just using her as your escape rope from your sadness.
      3. idk how old are you, but [This happened a few weeks after my crush got a boyfriend. I've never been so emotional distressed in my life] sounds like you're around 17-25. When you're get older you'll learn to let it go is just as easy sa turning off TV because believe me, heartbreak is the last thing that will occupy your mind.

    • @tiffanyribbons
      @tiffanyribbons Рік тому +19

      Okay, first of all, check your emotions. It’s not the end of the world. You are more than the person you could be dating. Here’s such rough but good advice. Tough shit. You got catfished. It happens. Your crush got a boyfriend. TOUGH SHIT. She didn’t wanna be with you, then she’s not meant for you and you are not meant for her. It’s okay to feel sad. But to be the most emotionally distressed ever is not a good sign of a healthy relationship with yourself. You need to be able to live with yourself. You can’t let these little events knock you down.

    • @rosegold-beats
      @rosegold-beats Рік тому +12

      You were blinded by love, its okay

    • @Burglecutter
      @Burglecutter Рік тому +1

      Manti Teo. Remember that guy?

  • @MatiKosa
    @MatiKosa Рік тому +168

    Great vid! One thing which you didn't take into account is their algorithm based on some sort of Elo score ranking. In short: the top most popular users (so typically the most attractive ones) will get promoted even more, whereas the average user profile will be lost down the stack.
    Tinder does a lot of nasty tricks to keep you hooked. Initially (first 2 days) you get a noob boost, your profile is being shown to more women = more likes = more matches. After that, your profile goes down the drain, you will get matches only every now and then. Sometimes I feel like they provide you with fake matches to give you some hope.
    They do all they can to make you go and pay for the premium version. Else you are doomed.

    • @Misha29ify
      @Misha29ify Рік тому +10

      This is just spot on. It is absolutely laughable in how many ways Tinder tries to make BIG amounts of money in its app.

    • @fighter5345
      @fighter5345 Рік тому +6

      That's pretty much Match Group in a nutshell. All of their tricks to hook you in are actually the EXACT SAME systems in use in the free to play game market and will straight up exploit mental weaknesses everyone has to entice spending money on, what could basically be, their "loot box" system.
      Whats worse is that Match group basically holds the monopoly on dating apps, listing every dating app they control with their emotional abusing fists, they have Tinder, Hinge, Match, Meetic (french), okcupid, Plenty of Fish, blk, The League, and Chispa (Central American).

    • @benrobinson375
      @benrobinson375 Рік тому

      Ha yeah. In my first 3 weeks of Bumble I got a lot of matches, but after that it became a trickle. They have their ways of luring you in.

    • @kirill4531
      @kirill4531 Рік тому

      Why not paying for premium? This is a serious matter, it's life changing and hopefully you need only one resultative match to get married or have serious relationship.
      You spend each day tons of money for stuff that you don't need

    • @RedNiel100
      @RedNiel100 Рік тому +2

      ​@@kirill4531
      1. Not everyone has that much money. Stop acting like you know the economic situation of every person.
      2. Paying for premium does not guarantee more likes.
      3. Knowing all of the data and how the algorithm works, I know I would NOT want to spend money into this rigged system.

  • @CanusDirusx
    @CanusDirusx Рік тому +853

    It’s really rather depressing. I’m probably a slightly above average male in terms of taking care of myself and career. I finally found a long term partner that is great but it took a remarkable amount of rejection. I didn’t have too much trouble getting a first date on the apps but rejection after the first date was pretty remarkable. Dating advice from friends was no use at all. “Women want a man that takes charge.” “Don’t come on too strong .” “Just be your sweet self.” “Women don’t want a man that is too nice.” “Don’t come off desperate.” “Tell her how much you like her.” “Hold the door for her.” “Don’t hold the door for her.”
    There is all kinds of terrible social conditioning happening out there. My best advice is to just be yourself and don’t contribute to the toxicity in our culture. Know that people being messed up and having weird ideas about what they are looking for doesn’t have anything to do with you. When it comes to settling with someone, be careful because the only thing worse than being alone is wishing you were alone.

    • @bunnieskitties293
      @bunnieskitties293 Рік тому +54

      There is only one situation that a relationship can bloom in a healthy way, and its when the woman is obsessive over the man. Women are creatures of emotion, almost purely. So the nature of their attraction is largely a realm of chaos. Random fringe barely discernable patterns. With only a few anchoring facts to draw from. At the end of the day, she has to feel you make her safe, can be whatever her definition is of provider and then there's a plethora of girl-to-girl checks being ticked off.
      You truly cant predict it, you cant force it, you cant make it happen. All you can do is notice when a girl quietly is really into you and make a move. You have to wait for a chance and then be able to navigate her preferences. The reason the advice is so contradictory is because men are simple and all want pretty much the same thing(Food, sex, dont nag, dont cheat). Women do not want the same thing. They want some nondescript 'protector/provider' and then have a ton of cultural and personal preferences for what a good husband is.
      Ive had a few women truly love me in my life(33) and its very, very, very obvious when a womans obsessed and will do anything to be with you.
      Its annoying to wait for a chance to have a girls attention and see if shes going to see you as her 'the one'.

    • @bruradagast
      @bruradagast Рік тому +78

      > the only thing worse than being alone is wishing you were alone
      absolutely 👏

    • @berczigabor
      @berczigabor Рік тому +18

      Just realize that the problem doesn't even lay with you to begin with, but with women, because 1. despite they being supposedly a better communicator then think that men can and should read minds, and will be disappointed if they don't, and 2. women will always play their mind games and don't actually tell you what they want or prefer, but intentionally mislead you (both intentionally and subconsciously), and then ... you guessed... will be disappointed if they don't get what they *actually* wanted. The funny result of this is that they will be more pleased by men who don't want to please them (because by chance those will still give them what they want), than by men who want actually please them (because those, by following the misleading clues and signs, will totally not give women what they actually want). See "nice guys finish last" and "the only winning move is to not play the game".

    • @artos9406
      @artos9406 Рік тому +2

      Nothing depressing, just hit gym or train outside and be the best of yourself, you have to be really ugly to be helpless

    • @memegazer
      @memegazer Рік тому +21

      I will push back on this.
      If your goal was a long term relationship then you should not feel bad at all if someone rejects you imo.
      Why would you want to keep going with someone that does not feel that way about you?
      So I will rephrase the issue I think you are trying to hit at.
      That social media dating apps offer an instant gratification solution that people find disatisfying...even when there is success.
      To use an analogy...it would be like dating apps offer you some solution to sate your appatite...but just bc there are a lot of options doesn't mean you won't feel like crap for only eating fast food instead of finding a restaurant that offers healthy options.
      I don't think this applies to men or women more or less...but can get caught up in the instant gratification.
      And both suffer for the same reason...they want a simple easy solution that the dating apps are trying to sell.
      As well I think both feel worse and like it is their fault if the app fails to deliver on that sales pitch bc they rather than blame the app they take personal and blame themselves.

  • @malcolmgeldmacher4998
    @malcolmgeldmacher4998 Місяць тому +3

    I think dating apps can still be useful, but it is important to know stats like these. The depression and self esteem issues come from feeling that the experience should be like the numbers in the ideal situation. In my experience, I knew these stats going into it, so I don’t take anything personally and know that my lack of likes and matches comes from the logistics of the situation.

    • @orjanb4011
      @orjanb4011 Місяць тому +2

      Earnest opinion, connecting people for dating should be a social good. The sort of thing an ideally driven non profit with social responsibility deals in. Not an industry driven by private companies with shareholders to appease.

    • @malcolmgeldmacher4998
      @malcolmgeldmacher4998 Місяць тому

      @ that’s actually a cool thought. The worst part about any dating app is the ads and how much they try to get you to pay for the boosts and other stuff that helps you stand out.

    • @orjanb4011
      @orjanb4011 Місяць тому

      @@malcolmgeldmacher4998 Yeah, the business model of dating apps is basically designed to keep you on the app. Their profit line is based on you feeling like the only way to get somewhere is to stay there, get served ads, and eventually subscribe.
      Hence the swiping model they've made so normal. The exorbitant cost of seeing who potentially likes you. The lack of ways to find people based on what you actually have in common. The algorithm weighting itself more and more away from people you'd swipe yes on, encouraging swiping en masse, while also often ranking you down to others based on that.
      Basically the degree to which a dating app exists to get you a date, is as a sales point. It's gotta work occasionally, or they don't have a product to begin with. But their real product, all the features and benefits you can subscribe to, they all require you to keep on being a user. 👀

    • @orjanb4011
      @orjanb4011 Місяць тому

      @@malcolmgeldmacher4998 Yeah, dating apps actually focusing on dating being a good experience aren't as profitable as they otherwise could be. Companies like Match Group, owner of Tinder, Match, OkCupid, Hinge, and several dozen more companies, they've had 15 years to figure that out. 😄
      Tinder especially, basically makes it work to the extent that there are success stories of people finding each other via the app, because that causes an influx of new users. But beyond that, everything about the experience (by app design or by who they choose to show you) is there to nudge you toward expensive subscriptions -- and those they price discriminately, based on what they've determined as the average that people in your demographic might pay for better success.

  • @leadershiplfe
    @leadershiplfe Рік тому +121

    This was an unbelievably well-done video. Broken down very simply and easy to digest. Keep up the great content!

  • @Grizzly_6623
    @Grizzly_6623 Рік тому +677

    One of the wildest things I’ve ever seen was this video of guys asking girls how many tinder likes they get and the girls not being able to comprehend the question. For the girls they’re not liking a profile in hopes of matching, they’re choosing profiles to match with. They couldn’t comprehend that swiping right didn’t mean automatically matching with that person, they were so skewed they didn’t even understand the basic operation of the app.

    • @xavmanisdabestest
      @xavmanisdabestest Рік тому +30

      You know the link by any chance?

    • @fredbyoutubing
      @fredbyoutubing Рік тому +97

      On my first date with my ex (we met in real life, not online), I saw her cellphone lighting up in the morning as she was taking a shower. I could see an unlocked notifications from tinder and curiosity got the better of me. It said: "367 new possible matches since yesterday!"
      I then had a realization of exactly what this video explains. My own notification said "you have A new like, find out who it is!".
      I'm an average looking guy and she was very attractive. No way we would have matched online. But we had friends in common and I asked her out...my chances went from zero to at least something.

    • @byronic0967
      @byronic0967 Рік тому +29

      Honestly of these 367 matches...366 are for the streets

    • @anyadarlingg
      @anyadarlingg Рік тому +1

      Wowww that's absolutely nuts 😂

    • @missbutterfree
      @missbutterfree Рік тому

      And now you understand how women feel when guys take for granted finishing during sex.