Why Men Get So Few Matches on Dating Apps
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- Опубліковано 12 лип 2023
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Corrections and remarks:
- I forgot to mention that I ran the simulation 1000 times for every scenario
- 05:02: "Attractiveness is subjective". A lot of comments argued that attractiveness is NOT subjective, otherwise we wouldn't have such a high inequality in likes for different users. My response to that is that attractiveness is *partially* subjective. A person that I consider to be attractive might not be attractive to you and vice-versa. Therefore, attractiveness has at least some level of subjectiveness.
- 05:50: There's a mistake in the formula of the right chart. It should be f(x) = 14%
- 06:12: The chosen functions were power functions and NOT polynomial functions, as mentioned in the footnote
Dude are you stupid or what ?
It is simple women have vagina AND MEN WANT TO SPREAD THEIR SEEDS THAT's WHY ALMOST EVERY man runs after women ( simp behavior ) ... back in the days men just took women...now that is no longer allowed so they have to compete with other stuff.
The choice is left to women and women are programed to get the BEST MAN they can get . Thats why so many men have to settle for less or for no woman at all.
even ugly disabled women gets men while a man has it much harder and in modern days, women have a huge acces to men all over the world ( internet ) , thats why men cant compete, because women on the other hand are programmed to get the " BEST MAN " so they just keep wanting better and better and now we in the west have it so that most women want a guy who is at least 185 cm tall, rich and looks good.
Women have lost their sense of reality .... men like that belong to the 1 % of all men.
So 90 % of women want only 1 % of men .
And that's why men on social media lose .... they are competing with FEMALE DESIRE TO WANT THE BEST MAN and with MEN WHO ARE 185 cm tall , rich and good looking.
Could you explain more how you got your numbers ? Because I just see numbers but not mathematical formula with explanation. It's like people has to believe you without understanding how you got into this opinion.
Not sure you could measure it, but I’ve noticed a lot of female profiles are in fact scammers from other countries or appear in the app, but in the woman isn’t even looking at her profile for months or years on end. I also suspect some accounts are created out of thin air by the people running the app, just to have a few “tools” up their sleeves when your account subscription is ending in a week or so. Its also really suspecious to me that on the app called Zoosk, almost 70% of women are 5′7″ (170 cm) and they all have doctorates.
There should be laws on this making things more equal
@@yakovbrod9992 feminists work on it
Dating for straight women is like shopping. Dating for straight men is like a job interview.
@@____-qf7mzYou sound like you need a character arc
@@____-qf7mz You have things backwards. If women were treated well men wouldn't need that much "vetting" by women who want to be safe with who they date. They have to do research or else they might be dating someone who might abuse, traffick, kill, etc. them.
Women easily harrass desirable men too tho. Especially after a one night stand. A lot of stalking issues
I've never found this.
Fr❤
Best way to describe dating sites/apps that I've heard is that they're "filled with women who get attention they don't want and men who want attention they don't get"
So true 🤣
Women who don't want attention? How is that?
@@jardel_lucca harassment, men that only want sex, men that give hearts before even seeing what the person actually looks like (happens a lot with big woman and trans woman), not all attention is good, especially in dating apps with all the fake profiles and stuff
@@lugrisa I think what he/she actually means is that they don't want attention from "creepy" (aka unattractive) guys
There’s a reasonable percentage that goes on there to see their market value,or increase their self confidence,but have no intention to find a date on the app.stay away from clubs and Tinder if you want to find a good women.
I hate that dating is made mostly through apps nowadays.
I genuinely HATE that.
I tried to get a date after matching (the whole point, right) and the chick said "she does not meet anyone unless she knows them on social media first", and she was like a 27 year old woman, not a 16 year old. LOL!
@@donniet685 this generation thinking their so good in social skills due to social media when it’s the total opposite. Dumb
Everything is. Whatever happened to paper cash and choosing to tip services by choice rather than have it shoved in your face every time you shop.
Its honestly the best if it works tho. I get maybe 3-8 likes a day or ~1 match/day and its way easier to meet women that are interested this way than having to go out or approach them on the street and then not beeing sure if they are even aviable or not
Mostly for materialistic people, i see a lot of people dating irl more often
This doesnt even go into the whole issue of fake accounts where a lot of your matches are actually just sex workers or scammers.
In my 20 years casually researching online dating I can confirm 100% that most apps create fake profile databases and also try and get men to pay for their paid services by sending fake likes etc.
On this one dating site I did not even set up a profile properly (including NO PHOTO) and within 48 hours I had several like notifications via email inviting me to "pay to see who messaged me".
I've spent plenty of time on a popular dating app for seniors, reporting fake profiles. A sense of accomplishment in an environment that otherwise breeds depression.
I swiped left on all the O F prostitutes and land whales..
Reached the end without seeing one women I would want to date.
Or how many of the men are actually married, just looking for someone to cheat with.
Yeah, at this point the majority of female accounts are old ones that never got deleted, scammers, only fans prostitutes or just the regular kind. And morbidly obese single moms looking for a seven foot millionaire athlete.
The way to separate yourself from the crowd is to not participate. If you ask a woman out in person, no matter how difficult and scary it is, it will instantly put you ahead of everyone else that is too scared to do it. It also shows that at least you're confident and have social skills
If i would do it i would totally not be seen as confident or socially skilled lol
I tried it many times
And it never worked
I always end up saying some weird sh cuz i can not think under all that pressure
Don't be a creep
@@Goregreet You need to relieve the pressure then. Practice just glazing over and not even thinking about who you're talking to, just talk to a wall. If you can do it to a wall, you can do it to a girl if you just do the same thing. Just completely fool your mind into dissociating with who / what you're interacting with,
@@TheNewOption i don't understand how to not care about a situation like this happening right in front of me
Like how do you just switch off your attention/interest in a person
@@Goregreet Practice. Like I said practice on a wall, or the mirror, or a door. Or whatever. Just kind of ignore every thought other than the most important ones to the conversation. It just takes practice.
Dating apps increased my depression by 100x
Please try real world
@blahblah2779 lmao please don't reproduce
@@sehrerwachsen8955 And get humiliated publicly and even more severely? Besides, a lot of women see getting approached in rl as harrassment. And you have NO idea if the woman you are approaching is one of them - there is ltierally no way to know. OK, if you look like me, there is - she WILL see it as harrassment^^.
@@ChristiansPlaymo-Ecke have you tried not looking like a living harassment?
@@sehrerwachsen8955 I don`t really thnk that is possible since you never know what is seen as harrassment. But trying to be more conventional attracive is pretty hard if you are simply not.
This doesn’t even factor the 0.0001% likelihood that you are to actually meet one of these few matches IN PERSON.
This video was an invaluable resource in helping a friend get over his depression due to his lack of success in dating apps. We are very glad this video exists, thanks a ton for making it!
How did it help him?
@@cseptember6562 He took his lack of matches personally, blaming it on his looks and hurting his self-esteem.
@@bennemannsame, I thought I was severely ugly as I had like 5 matches after like 3 weeks but now I realise I’m probably just average at worst. Helped a bit knowing that most guys have no success
Lack of success is because you are unattractive. Thats all there is to it
@@cseptember6562 It really helps knowing that it's not you. If you are someone who doesn't blame yourself inherently then you wouldn't get it. But there are people who need to check whether it is their fault, and that is just not possible. Until this video.
To all the men out there that are struggling and suffering, and I know you know just how bad it can feel, you're not alone.
Just stop simping for ugly women caked in make-up.
Eh… I don’t know you and I honestly dont care I’m not alone in it, I want a relationship not a group of failures like me to jerk one another.
Shit is so bad for me just like how Jamie said , “TERRIBLE TERRIBLE TOO SLOW” hate this shii fr
To the men out there-maybe you can now know what it has been like for women for eons. As a woman in her 50’s, I lived with the real-life inequality of a man’s world. Sorry, boys, but we have had to deal with men owning the world and calling the shots our whole lives. Finally something skewed in our favor.
I am alone. It's not necessarily a bad thing.
After spending too much time (and money) on dating apps I made a promise to myself to never use a dating app again. And I haven't in over 6 months. No need for that self-humiliation I put myself through every day, making me feel miserable.
Well over a year for me. I’m tired of people telling me to try apps again. I’m going to send this video to anyone who asks me why I’m not on an app.
Dating app. In-person. Doesn't make a difference to me. Lol. Same result. 0.
Me too, I made that promise 3 years ago and never ever do I want to put my self in that shit again.
... Thats a good word, self-humiliation.
@@origins5490 Go out, enjoy your time, meet new people with same interests than you, make them your friends don't look for dates and things will come naturally.
Statistically, and I don't need to make a video for it, the more you meet people the better chance you will meet someone that want you.
The less we look the more natural we are and the more natural we are the more we find. Good luck out there!
I coded a dating bot so I don't have to WASTE my time and find algorithim that try to rob money out of us by self-humiliating, trying to make people vulnerable and angry so they pay
I'm a bi male and I can attest that the difference in my experience with matching with men and women is mind blowing. If I match with I guy I can just say hi usually it's a pretty good casual conversation, if I match with a female it's about 1-4 chance they respond with more than a few words and if they do it often devolves into an interview... It's very strange.
As a gay guy, it's fascinating seeing the bi perspective. I've heard of bi men being turned down by straight women for their sexuality. Granted, some gay guys sadly do the same.
@@supervivo7069 its almost the expectation with women sadly
@@supervivo7069they're not turned down because of their sexuality, it's because they are...men.
not strange at all. Men start off dating with high hopes and then the feelings deplete over time. Women start off with low hopes and then the feelings grow over time. Men will fantasize a whole future with little to no details of the other person, women need to know where your head is and who you are. The risk of easily being a single mom stuck with 90% of parental duties isn't something you have to personally deal with. Men are not held to the same societal standards to vet their partners. Men can date a random mcdonalds cashier and nobody cares because of gender roles but let a women date a random mcdonalds cashier and she "should've chose better" "you knew he wasn't shit when you met him"
@@supervivo7069call me from a pansexual male, it does happen. It happens more often than you think
And it does come from both sides, but women will do it more than anything. But sometimes from a pan / bisexual it can hurt more to get that from a gay man or a woman in the case of by women because we would expect people from our own community to learn to not to judge us by our sexuality. Get a lot of people within our own community can be some of the biggest fucking hypocrites.
The amount of peace I’ve sustained since getting off the apps for good three months ago is incredible.
if you were chad, you would be on your 200th
Also there is a thing to take into consideration: dating apps are not designed to help men to find women but the exact opposite! The goal is to keep them subscribed as longer as possible!
Excellent and probably most important point!
Of course, not many realize that men are the target audience of dating apps because they are the ones paying all kinds of subscriptions
yeah, but most of the problems of those apps are a consequence of the bad proportion of men and women on the app, not the design of the app
@@SrCoxas but dont you think that these progrtammers design the app that way to make the most money ?
@@marvin2678 I do think they profit on the number of men trying harder and harder to get matches, but this disparity didnt originate on purely app design, there's simply more men than women in society interested in screening potential partners online through dating apps
I'm 29 and went out with a 42 year old woman about half a year ago. She expressed frustration that she had only been on tinder for a week and had over 5,000 likes. She even opened the app on her phone and showed me.
5,000 men to choose from, in just a week. For a middle aged woman with kids
Mind-Boggling.
You pretty much won at life... Was she some kind of a MILF or?
Yes, some of us men are getting desperate in trying to find a partner just for a little chit-chat, but they wouldn't even bother to do that, to see if we can go ahead or not. I don't mean the creepy rude desperate guys or mysoginists but the normal guys like you and I, with pro's and cons.
Ofc, nobody would expect them to answer to hundreds/thousands of guys, but at least choose like 10-20 out of them and see how it goes.
90% of those 5,000 are married or have girlfriends !
It seems mind boggling…… Then you realize the majority of men are losers nowadays to it all makes sense lol 😂
So many simps out there, they dilute the market!
Which is why I’ll never believe in the mythical „wall.“ You males will date anything. 😂
The fact that I got an ad for a dating app on this video is crazy.
Not really? A person watching videos about dating apps is very likely to be the target audience for a dating app ad.
@@eyflfla I get that. I’m mostly implying that the audacity of is wild.
Use an adblocker.
This video is honestly great motivation for me taking my engineering probability and statistics course in Uni seriously
This goes in line with an experiment I did yesterday on tinder. I wanted to see what other man generally put in their profiles so I set up a fake account of a woman, with a picture of a landscape of my city and no bio, just a fake name and age, and interest in "something casual". In an hour this profile had about 50 likes, that's crazy!
Yep I used to have a legit bio now I have a troll bio that tells absolutely nothing about me or what I’m looking for and I get the same amount of likes. Guys are only swiping on my first photo, it doesn’t even matter the amount of effort I put into my profile
Guys utilize the shotgun approach. Swipe right on every single woman and sort out the ones you actually get matches on.
@@matthewlozy1140yeah that's why I deleted tinder, completely defeats the purpose
If you're a man, the best advice I can give you to make your profile better, is to create a fake female account and just observe how other men behave.
@@inorite4553 seems a bit toxic to fill tinder with fake profil of the rarest gender in my opinion. (sorry for bad english btw)
Being constantly ignored and ghosted on dating apps really hurt my self esteem, and I haven't even bothered for years because of the pain of so many dashed hopes.
For real, it's awful
I’m sorry to hear that man- I Feel like the apps are designed t more to make money, then to help people - I just suggest trying to meet people in person instead
@@PaulVanced-jl5gk That's like littering because you're angry about garbage.
@@HansLemurson ??? Do you have brain damage or something? What the hell are you talking about ?
@@PaulVanced-jl5gk 0/10 bait
Aa a man, this was honestly a tough watch. The data is cold, hard, and truthful, but damned if it doesn't make me feel subhuman.
When men are picked on their looks Alone.... they feel like women feel all the time.. "objects".. sucks doesnt it? Women are picked solely on their looks for evrything.. including jobs.. so they are much more miserable than you will ever be. So they are out for revenge ... PICK ONLY HOT MEN.... So it comes around like they are being UNFAIR... enjoy.
Yet you shouldn't let it. The numbers paint a picture that many men will have little success with dating platforms, not because they're flawed as a person but because the numbers are in-fact working against them. It's more reason to take dating platforms with a pinch of salt, merely an extra tool that can still be used, not depended on.
Tbh a lot of women don’t have dating apps because they view it as men just wanting a quick hookup and not serious at all. Personally I’ve never had them because I’d much rather meet someone who genuinely likes me as a person not someone who sees my face and wants to meet me
Don’t feel subhuman you’re not! I think men and women have different approaches to dating tbh, I can’t speak for the women using dating apps since I don’t approach dating that way but the market is different wherever you go, hypothetically Id personally rather meet someone through like a common interest club or uni/school depending on ur age or work or something rather than an app
Something as basic as dating is quickly becoming the play thing of a corporation!
This video raises awareness it's almost like the warning messages you get on cigarette boxes. Good work!
The fact that you put your sources in footnotes during the video is amazing! Def wish that was general practice
This is similar to people who think votes are actually counted and that it isn't rigged. You can justify it with all the logic you want and prove yourself to be correct, but underlying all of it is an obscured evil agenda. Dating apps aren't in place to create relationships, their primary purpose is to demoralize the masses. Overinflate the ego's of all women so that they believe they're worth more than they actually are (Weaponize their innate hypergamous nature), while also giving them choice overload and decision fatigue, the trifecta that creates destruction of the ability to pair bond, delusion, and choice paralysis.
While also destroying Men's willpower and motivation to continue pursuing women so they end up choosing solitude and focusing on hobbies instead. The result is a demoralized, thus easier-to-control population and a declining birth rate among that population. Two things the malevolent controllers are most interested in producing.
too much effort for most pseudo science channels
it is for more academic leaning videos.
I also allways write notes on my foot!
Remember guys,
It is not worth it.
Leave them alone, let them rage with baby rabies, and let them die lonely and alone.
If you keep producing content of this quality, there is no way this channel won't blow up.
It's getting recommended because it's new, but the topic isn't. Also, the take here in this video is to step on nobodies toes. Many other channels warned for years against dating apps, many get demonetized or banned after a while for "misogyny" or whatnot.
@@NoidoDev yes, it's *all* a conspiracy 😂
No wonder I only get about 1-3 per day or more likely per week. Hahah
I feel like UA-cam is coming back, I am now able to find at least one video I want to watch now or later
It came tru i guess
I spent 7 years being depressed and alone, id try dating apps hoping for something to help feel a little better. It got worse and worse over time and more depressing, creating a cycle.
I'm introverted and have a hard time being social in large groups, but I'm also a musician (and singer). You have to show up, show up in places you're interested.
I like music and art, so I started hosting a weekly jam at my house. The first little while was nobody, but within 2 months I met two different women...
People are looking for meet ups, especially things that are different than "go to the bar" or "go to the dating app" if you want to meet anyone.
I ended up finding a good community through it, even started a band and started feeling more confident. Then suddenly women are interested in you, go figure.
Think of something you like to do, that you think women might have interest in as well (music is a good one) start some kind of meet up, or start showing up at meet ups in things you're interested in.
It's over
Great video! This does reflect my experience and i always thought there was something weird happening. NGL it is tough, i have struggled with my self esteem for years and dating apps really didnt help that. I even joined FB dating thinking "SURELY THIS IS THE FINAL STRAW, THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING ON HERE" and basically got the same results actually mostly worse. I was always thinking that its something i said in my bio or how i look in my profile but never really knew how to make a difference to those! Anyway, great breakdown, thanks!
I see. So the key to romantic success is:
1 - Be attractive
2 - Don't be unattractive
Right cause I'm 100% sure men are not liking women on their level and vice versa. People love punching up
1. Go Gym
2. Go Jym
3. Go Jim
Or work on being a kind and understanding person, and then meet people IRL through hobbies or interests or events.
maybe he should've said also to be willing to date unattractive females and to speak with them in person instead of on an app.
Unfortunately, the gym won't help you "pump up" your face.
i got 20 matches on Tinder but every girl was playing games and most the them didn't respond. girls have too many matches. Dating apps are used for entertainment
i match with men, and they rarely respond. men play just as many mind games with women too.
@@GorgieClarissa you are talking about the Chads (most physically attractive men) who all women are going after. Of course those guys are gonna flake on you. You women pursue the top 1% and when the top 1% flake on you, you blame all men including the 99% you ignore. The only guys who flake and ghost are Chads. Typical guys like myself don't do that. I have never flaked on a girl on a dating app yet I get ghosted all the time. And these women who ghost me are women who reached out to me first!
@@betallyoungattractive644 exactly, average guys dont just randomly ghost girls they match with, simply because they don't get matches in the first place (as this video shows) so why would they ghost people when they barely get matches anyway?
@betallyoungattractive644 Wow, dude. "You women", like all women are the same? You have no idea of this person's experience. Why would you assume you know? And not all men are the same as you either. Look around the comments in this thread and you'll see men commenting how they're unselective when they swipe (because most won't result in a match anyway) but look again and get more selective when they match. Or complaining how the matches they do get are "low quality". So, absolutely, men do this too, because - surprise! Turns out men and women are both human! Maybe women are turned off when they talk to you because you give the impression of being a bitter, sexist dick who thinks women are all the same and some kind of lesser subspecies. Certainly the impression you've given me.
@@GorgieClarissajust as many? Did you watch the video?
Love the math behind this video. All the graphs etc were amazing!!!!
I believe the fallout from dating app is it gives men a very cynical view of women. Men learn to perceive women as ghosting gold diggers.
there is a lot worse fallout than that. Men get huge depressions and lower self-esteem, some contemplate suicide.
That’s what they are tho
Maybe because some of them are.
@@himmick5438and men are predatory weirdos
boo-hoo
As an Engineer working with simulation systems: This video is extremely good. I love how you mark your quotations and how you talk about your thinking process step by step. Keep it up!
This brought me back to my IE classes in college.
I'm also quite astonished about the accuracy of the video altough there is very less data. Makes it quite easy to understand what's going on for everyone that's not in the materia already.
WHAT IS AN ENGINEER!!!!!!!?????
5th year of industrial engineering at texas A&M here. Simulation systems was by far my favorite class thus far
@@gabbe79 someone smarter than you lmao
I did this once as a bet with some of my female friends who had a very distorted view of dating apps for the obvious reason shown in your study. I did not "play the numbers" but only swiped on women I genuinely was interested in. I fared better than average but still shocked my femaie friends with the experience men have. I generally think men are a lot better off not engaging in dating apps unless they are extremely attractive AND very rich... however men like this don't need dating apps. The industry really seems to prey on the loneliness of men in general and makes money off of boosting profiles based on that loneliness.
i don't give dating apps any money. That's for escorts.
@@portman8909How do you make sure they're not being sex trafficked?
Yeah what a dark industry
I have no way of 100% knowing. That's up to the government to make sure they are protected and independent. Pimps illegal here.@@christiantaylor1495
@@christiantaylor1495mm??? There are hundreds of women engaging in their own terms in the sex industry. Escorts especially have generally more independence then the local prostitute...
Me and a friend are actually doing a project in our research theories class. As our first one we can choose whatever we want as long as it has a testable theory and 2 groups or variables. Our theory is pretty much how this data looks “women have an easier time getting likes on dating apps than men.”
The amount of looks we got, and even some responses: “yeah right, as if you guys have that much trouble.” They didn’t believe men had a harder time finding matches in the slightest (rather troubling tbh) so we created two fake accounts, one of an average looking guy, and one average looking girl, both around the same age with similar accomplishments around roughly 3pm.
The male account got 5 likes with an impossible chance of finding that like and making a match
The female account got over 50 likes within the hour, and roughly over 300 near the end of the day.
Can’t wait to show off the data right to their faces and get that nice easy grade.
This is so interesting, thanks for doing the experiment and posting it.
I spent around 4 years in my mid-to-late 20s on every dating app I could find, and in all that time I got exactly 1 date. I would go for weeks at a time without any matches or responses; it felt like I was screaming into an empty abyss. And like most men, it absolutely damaged my self-image, and was one of the factors that lead me into a deep depression in my late 20s. My mental health has gotten considerably better since I've sworn off online dating as a whole, and I find a certain amount of solace in hearing and reading that others have had similar experiences.
Your story is nearly identical to mine. Bless you, brother
exact same story here bro. glad you made it out 💪🏿
Could relate about messing up my self image and spiraling into deep depression
Sounds funny. There was no such thing as a dating app when I was in my 20s. Actually, there was no such thing as an app.
I deleted all of my app a while ago to. I regret all the money spent simping and paying for those stupid apps.
Can't wait for my passport to get here.
As a Data Scientist, it was AMAZING to watch that! I am sure you must be skilled in storytelling of data!
Jeez, why don't you ask him out on a day already. 🙄 😂
@@blindbrad4719 What's wrong with giving someone positive feedback on a well-made video that required quite some work, especially when that praise comes from an informed place?
Stop being a douche.
I get the feeling this is just sarcasm
@@berarpaulno
I use statistics at work, and I love it when the numbers work out. Filters that hurt your chances even more are race, and height.
I appreciate the work you put in here. This is a very accurate representation of what has happened to me over the years. It makes me feel a bit better about myself knowing I'm not the only male experiencing this depressing experience on dating apps.
Especially last few second explain a lot. You teach more about statistics on this video more than i took in semester. Great video. Great research. I wish you can had more data:( Thank you for this video. Now you are on my list. Great job:)
I haven't been active on dating apps since 2019. Even though I've done a lot to improve myself in that time, it's hard to go back when I know that I'm at such a disadvantage. I used them on and off for like 5 years, and never actually met up with anyone. I barely had any fruitful conversations. A stark contrast from what I've experienced in the real world. 😂
Dont ever touch them again my friend. Just don't. (Years ago) after a year of self improvement i got back on tinder and nothing, it crushed me. But it was absolutely useless and a waste of time and an unnecessary "being crushed". Could have kept the momentum going for more self improvement. I was and still am gaining a muscle, my teeth get better by the week with invisalign and i feel more and more confident. But i've learned from my mistake. Even if I turn out to be the type who would do ok on dating apps, i will still not do it. Won't make that mistake again, fuck that. I'll go down other avenues. I've been told numerous times that I'm extremely funny and witty. So i'll play on that strength and try to meet women in conversation, using humor and my skills in that area to make them laugh. Whatever i actually end up doing, i won't ever go back to dating apps
Guys do better in person because they haven't spent their whole life learning their angles lolololol
@@T-Bone99 That's awesome, I could list all the things I've worked on but it would be a novel. I've been single for almost 10 years, but I'm in a way better position individually than I was back then. It doesn't help that I don't really have local friends, I'm an introvert, I don't drink or do drugs or anything so bars and parties are off the table, and I've worked from home since 2020. I know that I get on well with women, but a dating profile is just too shallow to actually work. I want to give it another try, but the constant thought of "I'll do it after I fix this" is exactly what's wrong with it.
@@exoticalBecky_Miami Yeah... But actually *no.*
@@exoticalBecky_Miamiyeah a lot of women just use dating apps to get validation though
And then just uninstall once they got said validation
Wasting everyones' time
This is why I never bothered with dating apps. The advantage you have as an average-slightly above average looking guy and approaching in person is unmatched.
Dating Apps are everything that's wrong with social media dialed up to 100%
It's usually the same story even if a girl isn't on a dating app, though. You're probably not the first guy to approach her in that week, not to mention she very likely has dozens of men in her Instagram DM's. The amount of competition is unbelievable. I've looked through the DMs of a slightly above average woman with around 500 followers on IG (with her consent), and she was averaging 3 DMs per day from either completely random men or men who had mutuals with her. Then you think about a woman who is very attractive (8+), there has to be an insane amount of guys DMing her every single day. Not only the competition, but the mere fact that a girl is getting multiple DM's per day and gets guys approaching her on a regular basis will send her ego to the stratosphere, which is why most 5's and 6's think they're 10's. Men in the west are visually desperate for a relationship and companionship, so they start treating women who aren't very attractive like they are, which in turn makes the girl think every man should treat her like that. It's a dangerous cycle men have created in recent years, which will only lead to annual new records of singleness, loneliness, suicide rates, reduced marriage rates, increase in children born out of wedlock, and slowly the deteoriation of our society as a whole. It's very sad to witness what is going on in real time in the west.
@@ChinchillaisGodyou’re missing the entire point of the original comment. DM’s are not real life interactions and are synonymous with dating apps from the women’s perspective. You need to chill and actually touch some grass. You might have a better chance of getting laid
@@ChinchillaisGod what are you smoking ? Women dont get an ego boost when they get 10 dms every day by creepy old dudes sending dick pics. Men are not allowed to talk about their feelings and emotions without being labeled as less weak, fragile and less masculine by other men, which is also why suicide rate are higher among men. Most marriages fall apart, because of financial instability.
Many men are addicted to video games and let them self go, which is why they are lonely. They dont know how to cook, do laundry or dont go to the gym and then expect their girl friend to do it for them. Maybe meet women offline, befriend them and then see how it goes and if she doesnt want to be your girl friend then move on. But basic social skills are lost when you dont have social circle. I see so many guys throw a tantrum like a child if they dont get what they want.
Why don't you quit them permanently then? There's no point
12/10 analysis and story telling skills. From one analyst to another. Respect bro.
Dude you have so many awesome points here. Thank you for this video... I'm not alone...
Online dating sucks!
Honestly, I’ve started asking women out in person since I finally found the confidence and self esteem to do so and man it’s been so much easier and less mind boggling than dating apps
Edit: damn this got more attention than I thought it would lol but my dudes I’ve just started to be more social and put myself places where I’m able to meet new ppl. Doesn’t have to be the club or whatever, say you go to the dog park and there’s a cute girl there and you strike up a convo and things seem to be flowing well that’s when you follow it up with a question like would you want to go get coffee sometime?
Second edit: just to be fair I get told no thank you I’m not interested way more than I hear yes but you gotta try and understand your not gonna be everyone’s type and that’s okay it’s not a knock on you
Thats great to hear bro. Keep it up
is that not that easy days people are afraid to their lives get ruined or Are afraid to get hurt. People have unrealistic standards relationships. Not all people have the the means. Most are broke. Maybe make folks should make their standards a little bit more realistic
@@cem96 i had a stroke reading this
Just remember - Dating apps have a financial interest to make women feel wanted and keep men desperate for anything.
#Metoo ruined asking out work colleagues and the pool got much smaller after that. I saw dating apps as the only way forward and eventually got lucky, but it was a rough road for quite awhile there
Also, think about it from an app developer standpoint. If you find someone on a dating and start a long term relationship, the app loses two customers forever. The incentives for the devs are to design the apps in such a way as to keep you hooked, and let you win small amounts (few likes, maybe a match), but to never let you hit the jackpot like in a casino.
Eh maybe. That's really short sighted though. You want success stories that friends will share with each other thus attracting more users. There will never be a shortage of people looking for relationships. Trying to keep as many users as possible on their platform isn't necessarily their goal. Their goal is money which comes from ads and the paid buffs they sell. Having those aspects actually works will be good for them in the long run.
Not really tho, if I found a successful relationship through an app then I would recommend that app to others. This scenario is definitely a better strategy than whatever ur saying
but everyday new people turn 18 and want to use the app if it works. you have unlimited people if you’re good.
You make a great case for them to be heavily regulated or banned for public health reasons.
@@matthewlozy1140 Fair point taken
The dating scene is cooked
Amazing video, I think you’re on point!
We need to bring back lots more community events such as dances, jazz clubs, etc where the point is for people to have fun and meet potential partners naturally, in person.
Have never been on a dating app and don't ever want to!
Won’t work. Online dating gives women access to higher tiers of men. Modern women have no interest in average men.
Dancehalls and nightclubs are a nightmare of harassment for women by guys who are under the influence of substances. Bring them back if you want to...I don't think that will help. I met my guy at a farmers market in the city (Vienna, VA)...in daylight.
gotta get everyone off their phones and outta their homes! buncha gremlins
Look up articles on "third places." I think there's a good one on the Atlantic rn but there's many
Dealing with guys is a muscle and unfortunately for the newer generations that muscle is atrophying.
For all the men out there, it's time for us to go old school. I recently deleted all the dating apps and went out in the real world to ask girls out, which took lots of effort but made some progress. Don't lose hope. It's not you. It's exactly what was explained in the video.
time for us to kick women out of school
for that, you need to master to face rejection.
@@MrShankaPereraWhat have you got to lose?
you mean you are going to harrass women everyday? Bothering them when they are doing grocery, in the gym or at work, is that it? If there are such disporportions in an app designed for that, do you know how annoying and intrusive on a woman's life would it be for her to deal with men asking her every hour? I hope some woman severely humiliates you after such an attempt so that she can save other women from your harrassment.
@@SeaToSummit-bk1qy dignity. Because i know at least for myself it wont be a soft reject. There's no much difference between tinder and cold approach.
This is GENIUS.
The charts, the information, the way you present everything. It's bleak.... but it's on point.
You have earned yourself a new subscriber.
These animations really help
This video is super well made. This is a prime example of how data can explain society :)
@@potatotielmore men are likely active on dating apps because as the video mentions online dating or talking to strangers online in general is scary for women, and men often are really creepy so it doesn’t feel productive. Also the whole social narrative that guys are praised to sleep around and women are put down for it (pre obvious)? The last part, “ why women are so…”, not sure where u got that from, it is proven that women date below their standards and men over achieve so let’s be real here.
@@potatotielagree on your point. They way he made this video you really have to master statistics and like to play with numbers that’s for sure. But society is best tracked if you go out there and take interviews ask confidential questions. The statistics are a way to view but not to take society. We humans evolve so fast since the last world war its crazy if you take a moment to think about it.
@@potatotiel Women are biased towards the same good looking guys for the same reason that men are biased toward the same good looking women.
Remember guys,
It is not worth it.
Leave them alone, let them rage with baby rabies, and let them die lonely and alone.
If you leave them alone or treat them badly they will more likely get interested in you lmao@@ayanned
You know, this video actually helped me a lot. I had been feeling really insecure with my experience on dating apps lately. I guess its just nice to know im not the only one
Ya the stats explain why dating apps are terrible for men.
@@CoMtLionyep and people on the app are not to blame for it.
If you are resorting to a dating app to find a girlfriend then realise that you don’t even need a girlfriend.
@@oceandriver7 I mean, I'm not explicitly looking for a girlfriend. Just people nearby with similar interests. I just moved to a new city
@@oceandriver7 Maybe people resort to what its better for them?
Very good job, best representation of Math reality inside algorithmic approach to solve problems.
Genuinely, this video is possibly the single best boost I've had to my self esteem in dating in years, because the fact that my experience of dating apps mirrored this simulation's performance for someone of median attractiveness gives me hope that my own attractiveness might not be as terrible as dating apps would have me believe. The only part of the video I'd disagree with is the conclusion that we shouldn't stop using dating apps because they're still the most common way couples meet today. Yes that probably is true, but it's only true because of people playing a persistence game and succeeding *despite* the mechanics of the system instead of because of them. If we all stopped using dating apps and had real alternatives that were built around prioritising matches rather than prioritising screen time, the experience would 100% be better for most users.
I think that is the best long-term solution, but it’s difficult to find and advertise those alternatives in the short term. I think I saw a video recently about the disappearance of “third places”, and it rings true with my experiences that it’s difficult as an adult to find somewhere you can hang out or have fun that you don’t need someone else to go with and don’t need $$$ to constantly pay for. It feels like every fun activity depends on you paying money and ofc most ppl can’t afford to do that
When ever you feel inclined to start a sentence with "if we all...", you know you're in the middle of a prisoner's dilemma. Because if all the males but me would stop using those apps, suddenly I would do outrageously better. And since this applies to everyone, no significant percentage of men will ever stop using them. It's the Nash equilibrium that binds us; we cannot fight math.
It's the same in real life as it is with dating apps. For most species, only a small percentage of males mate with all the females.
Social media isn’t social at all. Dating without real life interactions is a joke. This isn’t for men at all, and it only destroys confidence.
anti-social media
For real even online is hard to make friends
Dating online is just a reflection of real life. If irl dating was so easy then guys wouldnt flock to dating apps in the first place.
A dating app is better for me. The woman knows my face and when she wants a real date I know that she finds me attractive. I don't know this in real life.
@@GoMrTom The woman on the other hand will decieve you. They constantly hide their double chins with only portrait photos and group photos to hide their real image. I remember having dated a girl who had nice photos but when i met her she was at least 40lbs heavier so they also use old photos.
Just to describe my experiences with dating apps:
I started using them pretty much right when I graduated from high school (8 years ago). Turned 18 in March of 2015 and graduated in June/July of that year. Since then I've used about 7 different dating apps. Let's see if I can remember all of them.
-Tinder
-Hot or Not
-Bumble
-Plenty of Fish
-Match
-OK Cupid
-Facebook's new dating section
8 years. 7 apps. Swiping on thousands upon thousands of profiles. Guess how many women I've met with in real life through those apps. One.
These apps are horrible for men's self-image and self-esteem.
I'm on 2 meet ups in 16 years.
These apps, combined with other external factors such as social media and reality TV, have caused the required levels of attractiveness etc to climb way above and beyond anything I'll attain. I probably used to be considered a 6 or 6.5, but by todays standards I've probably been pushed down to a 4 or 5.
Just for clarity, I have no kids, don't smoke or do drugs, drink lightly, have my own house, own car and a decent income. You'd think that would be a strong base for dating/relationships and put me in a good position....nope.
Sadly, I accepted long ago that it's going to be a life alone for me.
I think it shows you which areas you need to work on as a man. It's a cold, hard world out here and even professional "pick up artists" who do the whole cold approach thing report the same number of success presented here. If you aren't in the top 10-15% of men, you likely won't see tons of matches/dates overall. Imo quality is better than quantity, so use everything at your disposal, dating apps, gyms, coffee shops, bars, etc. To find your one.
Probably just not attractive dude, I’ve met hundreds of women off of online dating apps.
You should try working on yourself instead of blaming the women or the apps.
Hit the gym, be more interesting. You have to make yourself desirable as a man.
self esteem comes from WITHIN. Stop thinking that a relationship is going to fix that. There is more to life than dating stop whining all the damn time
Agreed. These apps are terrible for men and we should stop using them.
This video puts everything into perspective 👍
great analysis bro, well done
This has accurately summed up my own experience with dating apps, my brother and I have discussed this endlessly with frustration.
I had no problems dating as a teen, had a few healthy relationships and typically had a "normal" level of engagement. I even met my last two girlfriends on dating sites in the early days of them, but as time went on I've gotten less matches, less conversations started and less actual dates until I gave up a couple years ago. It's almost ironic, I feel that I have more to offer in a relationship than ever before between numerous hobbies, a successful career that's growing and lots of free time, I just want to experience someone else's passions too and share my own. For lack of a better explanation as my assets have increased my prospects have decreased. It's backwards from what I saw my parents and their friends enjoyed during their time. I've learned to be happy being single, it's not the life I always wanted but you make of it what you can.
preach brotha, you have just described my life to a T. Goodspeed in finding that partner
Except this video is a watered down version of reality. The most famous statistic is from tinder, where 84% of women only like the top 4% of men.
This is insane. They're all expecting to end up with christian gray from the movie. A young billionaire with his private jet.
And thats not addressing the other problem I noticed - If its obvious based on your profile bio that you're a conservative, your profile will be actively suppressed, hidden, sabotaged, etc.
Theres examples of messages not going through, and matches disappearing even though neither of us unmatched each other.
Its 21st century eugenics.
Because your parents talked to strangers face to face, but now everyone walks around like zombies with their noses glued to their phones. Next time you see someone not on their phone and naturally make eye contact and the setting is appropriate, then strike up a conversation and ask the person out on a date.
@@onebridge7231 Was thinking about this the other day actually, Was sitting waiting for my pizza outside the pizza shop, there were a few other customers also waiting around for their dinner, I was the only one not looking at my phone while waiting.. 10 years ago that small local pizzeria would be full of customers making small talk amongst each other and chatting with the shop owner (who used to be considered a local legend), and yet in that moment I felt super out of place and weird simply because I WASNT looking at my phone and was fine just sitting there not being stimulated by a screen.. Was a bit of a sad moment tbh.
@@DesertStateNevada Of course, make it sexist lol. Not to be rude, but I see so many of my female friends matching with guys I think are UNDER their league. It's mostly that some just can't engage at all or have very boring profiles with fishing and dogs. No offence to dogs, but women know the trick by now.
One major factor I experienced was living in a medium-sized city, with a smaller town nearby. I had 2 men from the same town literally beg me to date, where they were willing to drive 2 hours, round trip, to date me and I'm not conventionally attractive. I feel terrible for those guys because the odds are even more unfair towards them.
I believe you. The chance of an average male getting any match is so slim, would do everything to not let go of the opportunity because you never know when the next match is going to be. That's where dating apps come in and cash in on the males. Making them feel like they can boost their chances by paying them. Sure... some extra exposures maybe but your chance of getting swiped left stays the same.
round trip ?
I drived 3 hours to see a girl that didn't said a single word to me. BUT her sister asked for my instagram, so i take that has a win.
Drove*
@@veloso98odds are the sis said that for you to get off her sister.
What a great work! Nice video
Keep it up 😊
Im going to send this to my friend his been feeling very insecure about the fact girls are barely accepting his requests or sending him request and i explained from a female perspective those invites are over flooding and its overwhelming.
Im glad you made this video. The timing of your video on my feed was perfect ✨️
Women have it so easy
It's not some woman are still single and still struggling to get a partner
@@CupcakeChan2611yea because if they aren't 6 figs or 6 foot or 6 pack guys are invisible to them even though you matched with them. Meanwhile I see good looking guys with ugly girls because guys aren't as picky
You're telling me guys aren't drawn to looks at first either?see the thing is guys basis it on looks but some females actually choose based on how you make them feel and your personality and your mindset. If you're mindset is you think those are the things to attract a female, those be the type of females you will attract. It takes substance to keep a female. Money is important in terms of wanting to live of necessity. Not everyone's trying to live for social media content needing excessive momey from a man. Another thing some woman require more substance than just looks and abs. And personally to say men is settling for ugly could be the reason many men are single because some guys are so caught up on exterior things. No woman is ugly and if she is she's beautiful to someone else
.instead of letting that person be with her. There's literally no reason for men to settle for someone they're not attracted to because now they make themselves unhappy always looking other places.
@@CupcakeChan2611 women have it so easy its infuriating
This actually made me feel really good about myself. I never got a lot of matches, but I always got a few. Turns out, that makes me a 7/10.
Remember guys,
It is not worth it.
Leave them alone, let them rage with baby rabies, and let them die lonely and alone.
@@ayanned what is baby rabies lol
@@2FadeMusic the rush to have babies when they reach the "wall" (years of decreasing fertility)
@@ayannedif someone wanted a child then they would have one would they not?
@@ayanned You don't need to grow bitter and misogynistic in order to start valuing yourself more as a man. That's one of the great lessons I learned through my depression. And I've had very healthy relationships with women ever since, both as lovers and as friends.
When I met my wife years ago (IRL) she asked how many tinder matches I had. I felt pretty good having about 120. She had told me she rarely used it and was picky about who she swiped on.
She had 1200 matches.
so u basically got 10X'd
1200😭😭😭 just imagine
wouldnt wanna be with someone like that lol. imagine the amount of men she probably met and had sex with. yikes
Absolutely Pareto Distributed. 😹😹😿
I got bored one day and created a female account with average attractiveness to see what other males look like... you know, to gauge your chances in the pool... and then "oh my god" the app was blowing up crazy day and night. Yup.. I believe you.
"Average man will get zero matches"
"Don't stop using dating apps, they work"
Do you hear yourself?
My boyfriend and I met via dating app. When we made it official he actually told me his experience with dating apps and it’s basically the same as what this video projected. Now I am very very very grateful that he kept on using it otherwise we would not have met. I love him to bits and truly he’s the best thing to ever happen to me.
@@evez2093now what happened in your case is what we call an outlier in the distribution
Dating apps were a mistake. It was necessary to ruin the culture of relationships like that
@@evez2093 it's not that it's IMPOSSIBLE for them, it's just that it's not INCREDIBLY EASY. and we all know that things that are incredibly easy make men's character. Modern males that is lol
This is very enlightening and squares with my experience. Takeaways and observations relative to my experience: I probably get more likes and matches relative to my average appearance because I put effort into writing an honest profile. I think most woman do appreciate this. Conversely, I was shocked to see how little effort most women put into their profiles. Your analysis explains why. If women are going to be flooded with likes, why bother? I'm also continually surprised how rare it is to actually have a dialogue with the women I do match with. It goes something like this: we match, I send a thoughtful message, then never hear back. And no, I do not include spam profiles. These are easy to spot. And again, this squares with your analysis. If women get more matches, they don't have time for everyone. Thanks for doing this. I think it will help to ease my frustration and should encourage me to be proactive in real life.
Most women do not even read profiles.
They dont appreciate it. If you arent attractive you arent getting a swipe. Be for real
Really liked how you structured the models by adding changes one by one, rather than just showing the final product at the end. really let’s you see the impact of each factor better than way.
This was my experience with tinder. I'm a man and I called it depression simulator.
I match a week or a fortnight. Friends always want to see your profile so they can make it better in their eyes. Seeing female friends get it and immediately drown in matches.
I remember at one point they had tinder gold which just flatly let you see who liked you so you could skip swiping through and was devastated to find there was only one.
It also made being ghosted or talking to women who had no intention of going out far worse.
Having said that, I did eventually find my current partner of 4.5years on there.
Dating apps have a lot of bot accounts or accounts that are run by people that work for the app, so they can talk to you and keep you hooked in the app
@@deusex9731so you are saying that the only person that liked him was a bot? 😂
@@sline1276 tbh, probably.
I only matched with my partner because I super liked.
@@deusex9731 Oh, do they? I never found it here. lol
Yes, I understand you. I met my ex-wife and previous girlfriends on Tinder. What usually happens here is that I receive likes but from people that I didn't like, so the matches are hard to get. And most women I have matched doesn't want or know how to have a proper dialog. They answer with few words, vague, without interest... I click unmatch.
Captivating video, have a sub
When I was curious about the imbalance phenomenon in dating websites, I analyzed hundreds of profiles and discovered that most of the female profiles were fake - duplicated language with only slight revisions, profile pictures plagiarized from elsewhere on the web, etc. This was the case on three popular dating websites I studied (though this was over a decade ago). I concluded that the sites were padding their female profile numbers because otherwise they wouldn't have enough female profiles to keep the male customers interested with enough material to look through.
That may still be the case - a high number of fake female profiles for padding, which would skew the match results even more severely.
Also take into account the real accounts by women on the apps for purely financial reasons. It’s not uncommon for a profile that matched with a male to only send out messages asking for onlyfans subs or other monetary exchanges.
It’s not just the company padding their numbers, many people are using these apps to exploit others for personal gain.
The more female profiles that the app can get up on the site, the greater the "engagement" by men with the app. Seemingly one of the biggest scams ever perpetrated.
Several sites, including Ashley Madison, got caught doing this so I don't doubt it for a second
This is true. I have tried dating sites as a straight woman and my experience is nothing like the video. I got a couple of matches but not that many, I might get a Hi once or twice a year but mostly get ignored even when I am the first who send the message, and I have seen so many male profiles with no information so I swipe left.
Dating sites are a scam.
@@Trylenagirl... You are just not attractive if you dont get matches 💀 like everyvwoman i know get 99+ likes is less than an hour
I like how you extract data 👌
Dating apps destroyed my self esteem
I have to compliment this video:
- Nice visualization
- Using real life figures with sources makes the model very realistic
- It teaches men not to lose hope or self esteem
Problem is that actually using any of the apps have already convinced us hope is a lie and we are worthless.
Actually the video is wrong. When using 667 males and 333 females there are even less matches overall. The actual numbers for 3:14 are *0.93 for the average amount of matches for men and 1.87 for the average amount of matches for women*. In his video he used 200 men and 100 women, not 667 and 333.
Though the ratio is still the same in the end.
E
@@Tobi-xf8ezI've checked it. You're right 👍
@@AustynSNlife is about worthless finding worthless and making worthy one
This basically echoes my experience with dating apps, and is why I stopped using them. Also, the "if they do match she knows it's probably because he's liking every other profile" very much explains how many women's profiles say to not play games.
I don't think that's what they mean by game playing
That's just code word for the hot guys I keep matching with just use me and dump me, my young brother. Most of the time they continue to go out of their way to keep choosing those bad guys. But that's just part of the game. As a man you just keep building inner and outer value. Eventually you reach a point where you are not thirsty for low value women
I’ve had a fun time on them, met plenty of people, been on some fun dates, have had relationships with girls I’ve met on them. I think it’s how you present yourself/ your attitude going into it. I’ve seen some terrible profiles from dudes. Dudes that just aren’t helping themselves/ arnet in a good spot physically, professionally and mentally. Need to make sure you are squared away on that front and then get on the apps and have fun (and I don’t mean sleep around, I mean legit have fun, think of fun dates, be actually interested in the person you matched with, be funny and go into it not thinking about when you are going to sleep with the girl you matched and just enjoy the time you spend and you’ll enjoy it. Coming from a dude that isn’t Brad Pitt handsome but has had good luck
Ahh I loved it man!!! great way to explain...
I thought being rejected in person face to face was demoralizing - dating apps make me feel more rejected .
How? You have no personal involvement with the person. Half the time you may not know who you are even interacting with.
How? You don't know the person. There is no loss just reading a profile.
Because we are getting rejected by 100's of women a day on apps. If you get one like for a week and women get 50 likes a day thats what makes you feel shit..@@elizabeetle13
I will give you another response - a female will message you or like you on an app - we reach out in response and you get ghosted - no message back - getting rejected from a simply greeting of hello. When this happens constantly you feel worthless. @@elizabeetle13
100% accurate, I stopped using dating apps for good. The most I got out of it, was interaction with scammers. The dating apps themselves are a scam. We are even paying to get scammed.
"dating apps, now you can pay money to have even more women ignore you!"
Yeah I even tried to game the system and it doesnt work. I literally used up all my free likes per day every single day and just swiped yes on everyone. young, old, pretty, ugly, it didnt matter I liked them all just to see who was (or if) anyone was actually liking my profile. I did this for weeks. I did it until I ran out of users in my area. I did it until i ran out of users in my age range. I expanded both criteria until it happened again and again. Until I had age maxed out (18-99) and range maxed out (I believe it was 500 miles) and still very few likes and those few that I got were bot/scam accounts. We would small talk and after about the fifth sentence they would try to get me to go to whatsapp or kik and then they would send me a link to verify my age with a credit card bc according to them they have been catfished before and they wanted to make sure I wasnt underage.
Anyway maybe a year or two later I did it again but this time I paid so I could have unlimited likes and unlimited distance and it was the same thing. The only thing I could take away is that I was swiping on mostly inactive accounts and those people no longer existed on the app which meant I paid for nothing because those people would never see my like or profile anyway. I even had 5 free messages per day at the time and it was the same thing. I was able to super like and send a message and no response.
Yeah, after getting rejected again and again irl i figured dating apps would expose me to more people that were similar to myself. After paying for multiple dating apps over several years and getting no matches I just gave up.
Расскажите когда и как вас пытались обмануть ?
I went to dinner with a lot of scams then.
So I clicked on this video thinking it was a 200k+ views video, with the excellent thumbnail, attractive title and honestly excellent amount of clickbait.
Color me suprised to see the video having a few hundred of views with an incredible quality of animations, voiceover and topic coverage.
As a (future) data fellow I say bravo! Easy to understand and an interesting take. Deserving of a comment, to help improve your outreach.
Cheers and keep up the excellent work
Thank you!
Truly well done video!
well it's at 24k now so it's growing fast
this channel will def explode soon
I totally agree. I would’ve thought there would’ve been a lot more by now very quickly.
I tried dating apps, and I had the worst 3 years of my life, I ended up in therapy
Some brilliant stats work here
One of the wildest things I’ve ever seen was this video of guys asking girls how many tinder likes they get and the girls not being able to comprehend the question. For the girls they’re not liking a profile in hopes of matching, they’re choosing profiles to match with. They couldn’t comprehend that swiping right didn’t mean automatically matching with that person, they were so skewed they didn’t even understand the basic operation of the app.
You know the link by any chance?
On my first date with my ex (we met in real life, not online), I saw her cellphone lighting up in the morning as she was taking a shower. I could see an unlocked notifications from tinder and curiosity got the better of me. It said: "367 new possible matches since yesterday!"
I then had a realization of exactly what this video explains. My own notification said "you have A new like, find out who it is!".
I'm an average looking guy and she was very attractive. No way we would have matched online. But we had friends in common and I asked her out...my chances went from zero to at least something.
Honestly of these 367 matches...366 are for the streets
Wowww that's absolutely nuts 😂
And now you understand how women feel when guys take for granted finishing during sex.
video followed by a bumble ad...flawless.
I gave up on dating apps years ago. Not only will I never use one again, but I wouldn't even date someone that uses one.
There is something twisted, diabolical, I dare say even sinister, about seeing your tinder date, browsing tinder, during your date. The only winning move is not to play.
Yeah wow. F that.
This is perfectly accurate from my experience on 4 different dating apps
The thing that compounds how bad dating apps are, is that once you get out of college (as a man at least), you have to go out of your way to be social, to events, find classes/groups with women if you want an even half-decent chance of "putting yourself out there." And even then, you actually still have to be proactive in terms of approaching women within those spaces, because chances are, unless you're decently good looking you're going to have to make the first move. For someone who is a natural introvert and keeps to themselves most of the time, this is incredibly difficult, hence I feel like dating apps are my only realistic options, after experiencing rejection in-person and feeling out-of-place in social scenarios.
If introversion has anything at all to do with genetic predisposition, I don’t got a single damn clue how did that gene not die out millenia ago.
As an extrovert man, I think if I was an introvert I’d be guaranteed to never ever even be on a date.
Maybe this gene survived because the prospects are a bit different for introvert women…
@@andymac6207first that was very rude to say
second, If you are an introvert use that to your advantage. Try to make friends online and then meet them in person. If you find a cumumity for a game you like or something go to an in person meetup and you will find people like you
@@dallor09 nothing was rude, your just soft
another thing you could do is do things you do by yourself, like reading, handheld gaming, or drawing at a park or a coffee shop. that way you only have to interact with the people you want to, and you don’t get too tired too fast
@@dallor09 do u have adhd
Your analysis is quite accurate. In my recent experience using Bumble (first time trying out online dating apps), where I was active for more than 3-4 months improving my profile each day in that period of time, I hardly had 2 likes and no matches. And I always thought that I was better than other men who liked any girl that they saw, that I will not swipe right on any random girl and only the ones that I found interesting enough or were of my type. But, after having no luck for some time I started rethinking on my type preferences and started liking anyone out of desperation, thinking that will atleast get me any matches. But no luck again. And being a data person, I knew that it is the statistics thing and also there's only so much you could tell about yourself from your profile for the other person to decide whether they want to date you or not. Anyway, its a good scam business playing out on people's desperation to find a way out of loneliness. Good luck!
Bumble is funny. Its supposed to be an app where women is in control of the dating, but in reality it forces them to take the first action (of writing first message). But that is out of their comfort zone so it usually ends up with "Hi" or not even writing anything. Some girls even have "I don't write first" in their bios, and I don't know how that works on Bumble lol.
And yes, when the girls are in control, that also means they are even more picky and getting matches is even harder.
I got 50+ likes in 2 weeks with 1 week beeing inactive having good quality pictures helps as average dude. Some of my hot friends get 150+ likes within just 2 days. Some men simply experience dating apps like women do.
I've made plenty of fake ideal profiles choosing the best possible profiles I could find and even pictures of models. One or two matches per month.
There simply aren't that many girls in the area where I live.
Comparatively much better in cities like Hyderabad and Bangalore.
Wow that ending was bitter lmao
@@yamanjain if you had that level of matches with model pics it means you are banned. If you want to properly experiment in 2023 for each new profile you should get at minimum - a new SIM, new FB profile, reinstalled app.
Thanks for this. I just subscribed to your content ;)
I used the internet for dating back in the old days of 2000-2010 when you had to put essays along with your pic and be witty. I would meet about 3-6 women in a few weeks in person that I liked and would pick two that I would take seriously and start seeing. All of them said my essays caught their attention. In the swipe world of today, I would lose badly.
This honestly helped with my view of self worth. It's been over a year since trying a dating app and I've moved on from that, but the memory of those feelings still hangs and I could never quite grasp or comprehend what was going on and why I was having the experience that I did. This helped bring everything into the big picture that I failed to see before. I wish I could have seen your video before I ever got started, I might have even stuck with it and gone for the long run. This is a great video and I hope it can help some other poor guy from having the same experience that I did, either by using the system, or avoiding it completely, either way.
this comment hit the nail on the head. I felt the same
I tried it for about a month or so, and it was one of the most miserable experiences in my life. I feel like a lot of people are focusing on the matches, but honestly, the main problem for me was the unbearable boredom. Most people you like never like you back, most people you get matched with never reply to your text, most people who reply to your text never want to take it any further. Hours and hours of staring into my phone spent doing stuff that was neither fun nor useful. It´s just so much more straight-forward and more fun to just start talking to someone you like, try and guess if they like you back, and then go from there. You can either ask them directly, or just go away if the interest just isn´t there. Either way, you get some valuable experience and most importantly, you get an answer, which allows you to move on.
@@jirkazalabak1514 For what it's worth, chances are nearly all of the people you liked on the app probably never saw your profile.
Which means it's not necessarily that they didn't like you but rather you were never presented to them as an option.
Bro why are u using a dating app just get out there
@@arzhur8006my guy you have a point, really I should have made moves while I was back at my old work where I got along with most the woman there but I was too much of a coward back then to say anything 🤦♂️. I have had one match in tinder that resulted in a relationship, that lasted 1 month ended cus we wanted different things.
Another important point to consider is the different gender ratios between:
1) Active profiles, not just total profiles. There is evidence that women are more likely to stop using apps then men, leading to an overestimating of active female users.
2) Age groups. Middle aged people actually have more women on dating apps than men. When you isolate only users in their 20s/30s, the ratios become even more skewed.
Doing the math on this a while ago, I found that the number of active, young male profiles to active, young female profiles was 10:1 🤡
Moral of the story, go outside if you want to meet people.
And then catch a sex offender charge because there isn't an appropriate time to approach anyone, nor a natural reason to talk to them.
The real advice is the same as it always is. Be attractive. You've no way of knowing if you'll be attractive to them ahead of time though... 🤷
@@esmeecampbell7396 That's not true, there are many appropriate times to talk to people. Being curious about others and the world around you is a natural reason enough - I do it all the time. You can still have fruitful interactions with others even if they don't find you attractive. Not if you're going into it with the mindset of seducing someone though, that will raise red flags.
@@TheWolfman184 When would I ever think was an appropriate time for someone to approach me though?
At the supermarket? Fuck off I'm trying to shop, mind your own business.
On the street? That's creepy, how long have you been following me for, this is how people get attacked.
At a bar or club? Nobody can hear what anyone is saying anyway so everyone knows what's going on there...
The list goes on.
The only time it is ever appropriate is when they already like you and wanted you to anyway, which is why it is appropriate but also impossible to say specifically where and when, that's why no advice really works, it's highly changeable from person and situation.
And if someone does approach me I'd think the same things I'd expect they'd think if I approached them, how many people have you tried this on before? What diseases have you got off them? What's your issue why you aren't with someone right now anyway? And so on.
"Being curious about the world" isn't a good reason to approach me anywhere, asking childish questions like "where do leaves come from?" just because I'm stood next to a tree. I'm not a fucking kindergarten teacher, you're going to get pepper sprayed.
@@esmeecampbell7396 When I advocate being curious about the world, I don't mean randomly approach people in the subway or grocery store because you're curious about them. The idea that you can only meet people by "approaching" them is also wrong, that's seldomly how relationships start. I mean joining or being part of things that interest you, which then leads into getting to know more people. The places you listed are all places where people are, but not where they go to socialize - big difference. A restaurant has lots of people, but is a terrible place to meet people. A party is a great place to meet people. Being part of a club/interest group, volunteering somewhere, taking classes, going to social events with friends, religious groups if you're into that, etc. are all great ways to meet people. I had friendships develop from each of these - and those lead into more opportunities with mutual friends.
You're right that it's impossible to say specifically where and when, because that will vary a lot from person to person. But it doesn't follow that no advice really works. If you go out with the attitude I mentioned doing things that interest you, like I listed above, those situations will naturally pop up - try it. It works for me all the time. And I'm not especially attractive, I'm short, scrawny and balding lol.
@@esmeecampbell7396 A good conversation between you two with great points made on both sides. The reality is, the majority of relationships are formed naturally via your social groups, e.g., colleague at work, a person at your church, someone in your art class, someone you meet at an event/conference. If you're in the same social network with similar friends, or someone who can vouch for you, then relationships will blossom. Very rarily do two strangers come together by one '"cold approaching" without knowing the other or at least having similar friends or knowing similar people. If people leverage their current social groups, they will see alot more sucess in dating. And if one doesn't have a social group, then they need to get socially active and connected. Ask anyone in your family/friends and they will tell you they found their partners through their social group (work, college, church, interest groups, events). The reason why cold approach has less sucessful reults from men, because women don't want to be chased or pursued, they rather be seduced by a man that came into their life naturally that was already in their vicinity that frequent their social group, which makes for a better story in their mind than to say they met some stranger off the street.
Thank you. This analysis confirmed what i thought of dating apps for some time now. Deleted all 3 that i had. Guess it's forever alone now 😕
Another issue I’m hearing about - as someone who’s never used a dating app but has heard others speak about their experiences - is behavior. Women tend to be socialized to be more careful, more polite, and less promiscuous while men tend to be socialized to be more risky, more crude/blunt, and more promiscuous. I think many of each party prefer their group’s standards. A lot of women dislike the crudeness, rudeness, fast-moving, single-track behavior they see on dating apps and are immediately thinking “no” as soon as they see it. They get requests from the guy to be able to move in soon and/or be intimate soon, some come across profiles that are insulting to entire communities, and it’s an immediate turn off. In contrast, some male users don’t see that behavior as a problem but want as much access to the female user community as possible - just like with in-person dating - so they go for a lot of female users they come across rather than minding their manners and being more selective.
Literally just made me delete all my dating apps. As introverted as I am, I think I’ll take my chances with the sweaty palms and ask someone face to face after this 🤣
Have you tried speed dating? It's great practice and far less taxing than dating apps.
@@TammoKorsai How do you do speed dating??
@@Brain_With_Limbs Look for speed dating events in your area and buy a ticket. At the event, you'll talk to someone for 4 or 5 minutes then move on to the next person. As you go, you tick a checklist on who you'd like to meet again, then get the results the next day.
@@Brain_With_Limbs You just have to do research online. It you're in a city it's probably easier to find
@@TammoKorsai I rather take cyanide pills than go through that again.
I wish this video came out 3 years ago when I was still using Tinder, Hinge, and Bumble all at the same time. Watching my objectively attractive male friends get 40-50 likes per day versus my 1 a week was infuriating. I knew the apps were rigged but I didn't know to what degree. This video is very useful for people who struggle with the issue of self worth. My self worth was tied to those apps and with every passing day it fell lower and lower.
I am now happily married (someone I met on Hinge actually), but even still learning about this math makes me feel better about myself in hindsight.
Boom, there you go, married to someone from Hinge, so in the end of the day it was worth it :D
Well feel ya.. a colleague has like hundred of match in each apps and just don't care and don't even bother to speak to them (that's like... for ego i guess?)
While on my side, never ever had a match :/
I was in the same boat 2 years ago, bro. It was when I only used those apps less seriously was when I found my current love (no marriage...yet).
@@andymac6207 Warning about these apps existed for at least a decade or so. He ignored them or the recommendations didn't reach him. Same for the warnings about getting married. But "I wish this video came out 3 years ago when I was still using..." Dude...
if its any relief, to anyone, attractive people tend to mostly attract superficials and narcissists that think they deserve them. attractive men in particular, i can imagine, have a harder time finding nice people, because they may be assumed players, just from looks alone. if your more attractive friends got much more likes, its likely not from the kind of people you would want attention from in the first place. happy to hear you got someone genuine out of it
The median like/match rate at the end exactly matches my experience.
thanks for making thing clear
It’s really rather depressing. I’m probably a slightly above average male in terms of taking care of myself and career. I finally found a long term partner that is great but it took a remarkable amount of rejection. I didn’t have too much trouble getting a first date on the apps but rejection after the first date was pretty remarkable. Dating advice from friends was no use at all. “Women want a man that takes charge.” “Don’t come on too strong .” “Just be your sweet self.” “Women don’t want a man that is too nice.” “Don’t come off desperate.” “Tell her how much you like her.” “Hold the door for her.” “Don’t hold the door for her.”
There is all kinds of terrible social conditioning happening out there. My best advice is to just be yourself and don’t contribute to the toxicity in our culture. Know that people being messed up and having weird ideas about what they are looking for doesn’t have anything to do with you. When it comes to settling with someone, be careful because the only thing worse than being alone is wishing you were alone.
There is only one situation that a relationship can bloom in a healthy way, and its when the woman is obsessive over the man. Women are creatures of emotion, almost purely. So the nature of their attraction is largely a realm of chaos. Random fringe barely discernable patterns. With only a few anchoring facts to draw from. At the end of the day, she has to feel you make her safe, can be whatever her definition is of provider and then there's a plethora of girl-to-girl checks being ticked off.
You truly cant predict it, you cant force it, you cant make it happen. All you can do is notice when a girl quietly is really into you and make a move. You have to wait for a chance and then be able to navigate her preferences. The reason the advice is so contradictory is because men are simple and all want pretty much the same thing(Food, sex, dont nag, dont cheat). Women do not want the same thing. They want some nondescript 'protector/provider' and then have a ton of cultural and personal preferences for what a good husband is.
Ive had a few women truly love me in my life(33) and its very, very, very obvious when a womans obsessed and will do anything to be with you.
Its annoying to wait for a chance to have a girls attention and see if shes going to see you as her 'the one'.
> the only thing worse than being alone is wishing you were alone
absolutely 👏
Just realize that the problem doesn't even lay with you to begin with, but with women, because 1. despite they being supposedly a better communicator then think that men can and should read minds, and will be disappointed if they don't, and 2. women will always play their mind games and don't actually tell you what they want or prefer, but intentionally mislead you (both intentionally and subconsciously), and then ... you guessed... will be disappointed if they don't get what they *actually* wanted. The funny result of this is that they will be more pleased by men who don't want to please them (because by chance those will still give them what they want), than by men who want actually please them (because those, by following the misleading clues and signs, will totally not give women what they actually want). See "nice guys finish last" and "the only winning move is to not play the game".
Nothing depressing, just hit gym or train outside and be the best of yourself, you have to be really ugly to be helpless
I will push back on this.
If your goal was a long term relationship then you should not feel bad at all if someone rejects you imo.
Why would you want to keep going with someone that does not feel that way about you?
So I will rephrase the issue I think you are trying to hit at.
That social media dating apps offer an instant gratification solution that people find disatisfying...even when there is success.
To use an analogy...it would be like dating apps offer you some solution to sate your appatite...but just bc there are a lot of options doesn't mean you won't feel like crap for only eating fast food instead of finding a restaurant that offers healthy options.
I don't think this applies to men or women more or less...but can get caught up in the instant gratification.
And both suffer for the same reason...they want a simple easy solution that the dating apps are trying to sell.
As well I think both feel worse and like it is their fault if the app fails to deliver on that sales pitch bc they rather than blame the app they take personal and blame themselves.
And when you finally get a match, is an Asian ''woman'' trying to sell you fake bitcoins
😅
That's my take, too.
Thanks for this content. Very helpful.
💛
I've only used dating apps a few times, and only met a couple of women. I ended up pushing myself to go out with women I wasn't actually attracted to. I had convinced myself that these were the only women that will bother giving me attention, so I should try and make it work no matter what. It didn't last very long. There's nothing wrong with them, it's just that a relationship simply can't work without attraction. I pulled away as politely and respectfully as I could - the least I could do is tell them how I feel and why I wished to stop talking. I haven't used any of these apps in years now. The experience just wasn't great and I think for a lot of guys it just isn't worth our time.
When the options are pretty bad that's about the same as no options
Be selective and just accept that you'll get fewer matches. We don't like talking to men who aren't actually interested in us. That's why we try to be selective.
It isn’t worth anyone’s time, no matter the gender honestly. What ever happened to asking a friend to be your wingman?? That’s the best option nowadays. Not too direct, and you can show your interest without scaring a lady away due to how unsafe the world can be for women.
(Take advice if you’re looking for it. If not, don’t read)
The second best option is to go up to a lady you fancy, with a reasonable distance so she knows you won’t grab her or anything; maybe like four to six feet apart. Be Polite and gentle of course. And simply ask. Example. “Hello. I don’t mean to be weird but, I have seen you around and I was wondering if you were looking for any dates. If that answer is no, that’s okay.”
If the lady says yes, then, proceed with a lighthearted convo to set up a date. (PUBLIC PLACES ONLY for the first dates)
If the lady says no, don’t take it personal. Simply say, “I see. Well then, Thank you for your time.”
And don’t approach the woman again if you see her again out and about.
@@rayflyers You are selective, because you can, not because you care so much about men. You only care about Chad.
I personally dont care about attraction. 😅 But it doesnt mean i would want anyone. I need same values. And its not easy.
Never had anyone. Still dont know if better place is dating apps or irl... In real life i cant ask some stuff immediately. And in dating apps... You know... I dont have many options. Change values? No. Definitely no. I tried ask my values once and it ended in total lost of my identity. You dont want to question your values rationally. Because values are in its core, emotional.
Then i need to be patient. And i choose to not care about look and other stuff. To higher my chances. I need to compensate my values and personality somewhere... 😅 Maybe my way of thinking is terrible but only time will tell. 😊
OkCupid did a big study on this years ago. They flat out stated that for men, it's far far better for them to step out into the real world and meet women the old fashioned way. Online dating is a huge self esteem killer for the bottom 90% of men.
Eh, it depends which ones you use. I'm not top 10% in terms of looks but I still get some decent results, especially on Hinge, less on Tinder.
The issue for me is that I work only evening-night shifts. I'm literally not available when the best time to find a date is the evening. It's dating mid day when everyone at work or nothing so dating apps are the only choice I got.
You're not going to have any real life success unless you have a social circle who know other single people within their circle. And that becomes practically impossible when you hit your mid-thirties onwards because everyone has partnered up, get married and raise children. Also, single people tend to be left out of social gatherings because they don't gel with everyone else who is coupled up. Even online, the vast majority of people meet in social groups via social media and instant messaging groups, not via online dating.
@@tgheretford And this is the issue I'm having: when everyone are out and socialize, I'm hard at work and done when everyone are back home already to sleep. I literally can't go with friends often enough because work.
@@Transilvanian90 Because attractiveness for most women, also of profiles, isn`t really based on looks. Something most men don`t really get. The top 10% of men in interactions aren`t the same as the top 10% ranked by looks, eventough there is large overlap.