Hi I was wondering what your thoughts were on letting family members/parents know that you will be no longer in contact. I have reduced my contact in a big way over the years but have never actually said I won't be in contact anymore. Is this something you need to say in order to heal?
When they realize that you know their true colors, they will hate on you. In worst cases they will simply ignore you and treat you like you do not even exist.
@@darinoutdoors by now I came to the conclusion that narcissism is a disorder and I put these people into the sick category in my mind. Real hell was when I put myself on the same level as the narcissist. It took me years to realize to not take their behavior personally. Now it feels better to handle them as sick people. I can distance myself from their shit mentally and set my boundaries better. Is there any cure for this disease? I do not know. But I should save myself first from their crazy mess.
They dont. I catch my wife who's a covert narc pulling this weasel shit all the time. I call her on it, tell her it's a huge turn off and I find it disgusting. She comes up and starts loving me a couple hours later and acts all baffled when i laugh in her face to get off me.. but but whyyyyyyyy
@@waragainstmyself1159 Ouch. The major turn-off for me is when they hit 👊 or (slap). Don't hit me man, I don't go around hitting 👊 you. I had my ass kicked as a small child. Throw shit, break dishes, or remote controls or something let me know you are upset. Just don't hit me. 😔
The best part of pulling the plug on narcs is drawing, playing music, singing, dancing, performance of martial arts.... Doing REAL THINGS THAT CANNOT BE EMULATED through mirroring. So once I see how full of crap someone is, it becomes obvious when they really aren't into anything I'm into for real at all. All they do is sit around, flap their gums and stuff their fat faces, steaming in the corner like a cow pie because they don't really do sh#t but sit around and hate.... Losers to their last breath.... F#ckem.
Have you ever encountered, what I like to call "mirroring", which is copying the purchases, activities and interests of those they associate with? I won't go into too much detail but I've noticed that trait of someone who I'm convinced is a narcissist. Thankyou in advance.
Yes brother, I've noticed this 4 times in my 57 yrs on earth. 1. My mother. I became a reverend. She became a Minister able to administer the Eucharist to the sick. I ran a suicide hotline, she got immersed in helping suicidal teens. I shopped at J.Jill, she began shopping at J Jill. Things like that. 2. The ex-husband of 22 years. By the end of it, it was like he adopted my entire identity. My clothing style, my funny statements, my dreams plans and goals to open up my dream business, and which he did with the new replacement. 3. My daughter who grew up and watch her mother in these narcissistic Dynamics. As I was going to the recovery process, went back to school, finished my certifications and went in the direction of my career, my daughter adopted every bit of my career goals, and is continuing to copy them to this very day. 4. A woman I used to go to school with, and I recently quit that school. That woman began to adopt the way I dress. She began to adopt the way I talk. She began to adopt even my life stories and successes. She began to adopt even the trauma I had gone through. That had to be one of the most disturbing things because this woman then started stalking me and found my private safe home and phone number, which caused me to quit school. The school would not support me or protect me. In fact and, they enabled this woman to continue her behavioral crimes. It's a form of mirroring, but moreover, personality disordered people do not have an identity. They take bits and pieces of others lives traits character personality goals the way they dress the way they talk as their own. They build an identity by stealing others.
I know narcissists chose us for our vulnerabilities and that they needed us more than we need them already. The rest are new to me. I sharing these secrets with my therapist. Thank you for the video!
Everything in this video is very familiar to me. I had a love relationship with a covert narcissist. She used all the tricks and the trades but I am happy I ended this fake relationship after 8 months. These people are sick, damaged, insecure, immature cowards and don't respect others and also themselves
100% 🎯. Everything you said is correct. After 13 months, I finally got out 11 days ago. He did indeed think he was ‘special’ and superior because he constantly told me, no one is worthy of him and I wasn’t smart enough…..he has no idea I recorded 140 of his rants and threats from 30th june 2022 and the police have them as well. On their recommendation I am taking him to court for not only domestic abuse (emotional and mental) but also coercion, which is a criminal offence in the U.K. he’s been doing this for over 40 years and I’m the only one standing up to this nonsense. He couldn’t wait to get rid of me and now phoning around his exes (yes, they believed him when he said it was all their fault) trying to get character references.
Great point about the mirroring and how we can fall in love with ourselves by their mimicry, it happened to me recently and it took me two years of hard slog to figure it all out which I did very recently. Its mind blowing. Its stranger than fiction. I also think people with childhood abandonment trauma are very suceptible to this mirroring sould-mate stuff of the narcissist's because it enables us to for the first time see our inner child reflected back at us, to see our true self without bad object and its intoxicating.
When you realize that what you fell in love with is your reflection, you start thinking who is the narcissist here... :)) But seriously, these daemons that want to attach to you should be avoided as soon as you realize what they are. #GreyRock
Keith, My Ex Toxic Narc Girlfriends her, and her Family are exactly just that. Sadistic Catholic. Very Grateful I was Able to get away from that Crew the last 2 years my Ex became the Devils Daughter. Thank GOD and the HOLY SPIRIT.
To live nearly 6 decades & then see that I've been groomed since birth to be not only the scapegoat but the one & ONLY Target of my dad mom & brother. They compete to see can harm me more than the other. Anyone whose been a victim & not even know til their in the 50's is lucky to be alive! My mom WOULD kill me... How's that for the only one of WHOM said she loves me? Never once my father or bully older sibling!
I just came across your video and this information is exactly what I was looking for. I just recently figured out that I’ve been with a narcissist for the last 7 years and no one has done this content. Thank you so much. So many answered questions.
So glad I found your channel! Successfuly ened it in July and have been proudly no contact since (my therapist helped me a lot). Thank you for your work!
The most secret what I found out about her and the first thing that why was I was getting missed treated and abuse from her as I was driving to work and all of this was going through my mind and out of the blue it hit me if she was a criminal. So I couldn't do that so I called my brother in law to do a check on her and my brother in law had told me that she has been in jail for fortry and stealing checks. I got my self had to play it cool because I didn't want her to find out that I know the truth about her and what she may do to me to my dad if she found out that I know because she a toxic narcissist. Just like the old story of Bonnie and Clyde.she had told me that she was married before and I asked her what happened. She said she bought over a black male to the house and he shot and killed him and he went to prison for that as she didn't but she showed no feels about her husband that got shot. But she was texting her friend that shot her husband that is in prison and they are good buddies she said. I said oh my God I got to get rid of her asap. I finally did by putting a restraining order on her and it's been 3 good years now with out her. My dad has dementia and I had to do my best to make sure he's safe. But it hard to do because I work and she knows my routine when I leave the house and when I come back from work. But I got a ring camera and ADT alarm system
Look at at this way every thing was just fine before you have the toxic narcissist and as a victim and you have to get them out of your house before they destroy your house and your peaceful neighborhood. You don't want your neighbors look down on you and give you a bad vibes about you because of the toxic narcissist that you moved in with you. You can look at it this way All of his sudden now you have the sheriff or the police coming to your house because of the toxic narcissist and doesn't give a flip flop about anyone.
The only "mistake" you made was thinking all people are the same inside. The same mistake all of us born with a conscience and normal human empathy have made.
1. They targeted you according to what they value in you. 2. Making sure you are not one of them. 3. You loved with a reflection of you. It exists in you not in them. 4. They fear loosing, being exposed, had to take accountability. 5. They need you more than you need them. For their survival and identity. 6.
@@theenlightenedtarget Yes all the "Phd's" in the world cannot compare to a lifetime of exposure to these "people"....Experience is by FAR the best teacher. 😉
Here’s the video about a Collapsed Narcissist.
ua-cam.com/video/4pT9fKSEzQA/v-deo.html
Hi I was wondering what your thoughts were on letting family members/parents know that you will be no longer in contact. I have reduced my contact in a big way over the years but have never actually said I won't be in contact anymore. Is this something you need to say in order to heal?
When they realize that you know their true colors, they will hate on you. In worst cases they will simply ignore you and treat you like you do not even exist.
@@darinoutdoors by now I came to the conclusion that narcissism is a disorder and I put these people into the sick category in my mind. Real hell was when I put myself on the same level as the narcissist. It took me years to realize to not take their behavior personally. Now it feels better to handle them as sick people. I can distance myself from their shit mentally and set my boundaries better. Is there any cure for this disease? I do not know. But I should save myself first from their crazy mess.
But not abandoned us. They need us more than we need them.
🤔 I hope they know that underhandedness is a major turn-off.
They have no conscious, self awareness or empathy. They don’t care.
They dont. I catch my wife who's a covert narc pulling this weasel shit all the time. I call her on it, tell her it's a huge turn off and I find it disgusting. She comes up and starts loving me a couple hours later and acts all baffled when i laugh in her face to get off me.. but but whyyyyyyyy
@@waragainstmyself1159 Ouch. The major turn-off for me is when they hit 👊 or (slap). Don't hit me man, I don't go around hitting 👊 you. I had my ass kicked as a small child. Throw shit, break dishes, or remote controls or something let me know you are upset. Just don't hit me. 😔
Yup
The best part of pulling the plug on narcs is drawing, playing music, singing, dancing, performance of martial arts....
Doing REAL THINGS THAT CANNOT BE EMULATED through mirroring.
So once I see how full of crap someone is, it becomes obvious when they really aren't into anything I'm into for real at all.
All they do is sit around, flap their gums and stuff their fat faces, steaming in the corner like a cow pie because they don't really do sh#t but sit around and hate....
Losers to their last breath....
F#ckem.
Love this lady's style and information. Well done.
This describes perfectly mine and my narc husbands relationship from the very beginning. Wow! Right on target.
Have you ever encountered, what I like to call "mirroring", which is copying the purchases, activities and interests of those they associate with? I won't go into too much detail but I've noticed that trait of someone who I'm convinced is a narcissist. Thankyou in advance.
I address mirroring in the full video. You should watch the entire video
Yes brother, I've noticed this 4 times in my 57 yrs on earth.
1. My mother. I became a reverend. She became a Minister able to administer the Eucharist to the sick. I ran a suicide hotline, she got immersed in helping suicidal teens. I shopped at J.Jill, she began shopping at J Jill.
Things like that.
2. The ex-husband of 22 years. By the end of it, it was like he adopted my entire identity. My clothing style, my funny statements, my dreams plans and goals to open up my dream business, and which he did with the new replacement.
3. My daughter who grew up and watch her mother in these narcissistic Dynamics. As I was going to the recovery process, went back to school, finished my certifications and went in the direction of my career, my daughter adopted every bit of my career goals, and is continuing to copy them to this very day.
4. A woman I used to go to school with, and I recently quit that school. That woman began to adopt the way I dress. She began to adopt the way I talk. She began to adopt even my life stories and successes. She began to adopt even the trauma I had gone through. That had to be one of the most disturbing things because this woman then started stalking me and found my private safe home and phone number, which caused me to quit school. The school would not support me or protect me. In fact and, they enabled this woman to continue her behavioral crimes.
It's a form of mirroring, but moreover, personality disordered people do not have an identity. They take bits and pieces of others lives traits character personality goals the way they dress the way they talk as their own. They build an identity by stealing others.
I am not surprised i always know my narcissistic other was hiding some deep secrets
This can relate to a narc targeting people to be friends.
I know narcissists chose us for our vulnerabilities and that they needed us more than we need them already. The rest are new to me. I sharing these secrets with my therapist. Thank you for the video!
This whole Mirroring deal is new to me ... Because showing high levels of empathy was not something they showed properly.
Everything in this video is very familiar to me. I had a love relationship with a covert narcissist. She used all the tricks and the trades but I am happy I ended this fake relationship after 8 months. These people are sick, damaged, insecure, immature cowards and don't respect others and also themselves
100% 🎯. Everything you said is correct. After 13 months, I finally got out 11 days ago. He did indeed think he was ‘special’ and superior because he constantly told me, no one is worthy of him and I wasn’t smart enough…..he has no idea I recorded 140 of his rants and threats from 30th june 2022 and the police have them as well. On their recommendation I am taking him to court for not only domestic abuse (emotional and mental) but also coercion, which is a criminal offence in the U.K. he’s been doing this for over 40 years and I’m the only one standing up to this nonsense. He couldn’t wait to get rid of me and now phoning around his exes (yes, they believed him when he said it was all their fault) trying to get character references.
Great point about the mirroring and how we can fall in love with ourselves by their mimicry, it happened to me recently and it took me two years of hard slog to figure it all out which I did very recently. Its mind blowing. Its stranger than fiction. I also think people with childhood abandonment trauma are very suceptible to this mirroring sould-mate stuff of the narcissist's because it enables us to for the first time see our inner child reflected back at us, to see our true self without bad object and its intoxicating.
Another great video Jill 😁✌️. Nailed it here 🔨.
When you realize that what you fell in love with is your reflection, you start thinking who is the narcissist here... :)) But seriously, these daemons that want to attach to you should be avoided as soon as you realize what they are. #GreyRock
My mother's secret is the fact she's a Sadistic Catholic...
That sounds like Narcissism 2.0.
Keith, My Ex Toxic Narc Girlfriends her, and her Family are exactly just that. Sadistic Catholic. Very Grateful I was Able to get away from that Crew the last 2 years my Ex became the Devils Daughter. Thank GOD and the HOLY SPIRIT.
What does being Catholic have to do with it???
@@kathyt.1939 my mother has COVERTLY served a deeply Evil non-christian intent while BEING what appears to be a WELL & faithful Catholic...
To live nearly 6 decades & then see that I've been groomed since birth to be not only the scapegoat but the one & ONLY Target of my dad mom & brother. They compete to see can harm me more than the other. Anyone whose been a victim & not even know til their in the 50's is lucky to be alive! My mom WOULD kill me... How's that for the only one of WHOM said she loves me? Never once my father or bully older sibling!
Thank you, Jill. You're as beautiful & charming as ever.
What an excellent explanation. Yes, they need constant admiration to say the least. What a nightmare
Always informative.
Thank you.
Peace 💕🇺🇲
I just came across your video and this information is exactly what I was looking for. I just recently figured out that I’ve been with a narcissist for the last 7 years and no one has done this content. Thank you so much. So many answered questions.
Love and light to you Jill 🙏✌️❣️⭐️🙏
Hello Jill
I really lije your videos so helpful and insighful thanks very much lovely top 😊
So glad I found your channel! Successfuly ened it in July and have been proudly no contact since (my therapist helped me a lot). Thank you for your work!
Thanks for the video Jill 🦋👍
Everything you said is so very true. I lived it ! You are spot on. Great video.
Thank you for the Welcome! Peace
Great Lesson and Insight:). Bless You!❤️⭐❤️😄
Yep Jelous babies gotta have strife and drama in their life they hone in on family
The most secret what I found out about her and the first thing that why was I was getting missed treated and abuse from her as I was driving to work and all of this was going through my mind and out of the blue it hit me if she was a criminal. So I couldn't do that so I called my brother in law to do a check on her and my brother in law had told me that she has been in jail for fortry and stealing checks. I got my self had to play it cool because I didn't want her to find out that I know the truth about her and what she may do to me to my dad if she found out that I know because she a toxic narcissist. Just like the old story of Bonnie and Clyde.she had told me that she was married before and I asked her what happened. She said she bought over a black male to the house and he shot and killed him and he went to prison for that as she didn't but she showed no feels about her husband that got shot. But she was texting her friend that shot her husband that is in prison and they are good buddies she said. I said oh my God I got to get rid of her asap. I finally did by putting a restraining order on her and it's been 3 good years now with out her. My dad has dementia and I had to do my best to make sure he's safe. But it hard to do because I work and she knows my routine when I leave the house and when I come back from work. But I got a ring camera and ADT alarm system
Thank You !!!
Good useful information! Thank you!
Look at at this way every thing was just fine before you have the toxic narcissist and as a victim and you have to get them out of your house before they destroy your house and your peaceful neighborhood. You don't want your neighbors look down on you and give you a bad vibes about you because of the toxic narcissist that you moved in with you.
You can look at it this way All of his sudden now you have the sheriff or the police coming to your house because of the toxic narcissist and doesn't give a flip flop about anyone.
this even applyes to "friends " rrlatuonships ? I guess everything seens to apply this is sick !
Darling Wonderful.
Must have been my gullibility.
Don't beat yourself up. They are very good at faking a personality.
@@richktp1 I seriously couldn't see what she saw in me apart from that. Thanks though.
The only "mistake" you made was thinking all people are the same inside. The same mistake all of us born with a conscience and normal human empathy have made.
@@reesedaniel5835 thank you. Most painful lesson to learn.
@@JohnSmith-wo7ns it’s hard to believe but it is the truth.
1. They targeted you according to what they value in you.
2. Making sure you are not one of them.
3. You loved with a reflection of you. It exists in you not in them.
4. They fear loosing, being exposed, had to take accountability.
5. They need you more than you need them. For their survival and identity.
6.
My ex narc told me she planted drugs(cocaine) in one of her ex boyfriends cars to get back at them....smh crazy
I really appreciate these videos very much. Thank you! I’m unfamiliar with your training in this area. Can you please share your education with me?
I’m a Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coach AND a lifetime survivor. My expertise comes from my life’s exposure to these people.
@@theenlightenedtarget Thank you! I’m so sorry you’ve also endured this behavior. So what sort of courses does one take to become a recovery coach?
@@theenlightenedtarget Yes all the "Phd's" in the world cannot compare to a lifetime of exposure to these "people"....Experience is by FAR the best teacher. 😉
The narcs are mirroring us, does that mean that we actually fall in love with ourselves?? I don't get it. Can you explain? :)
In a way, yes. It shows that they get you and you are part of the same kind of person.
@@HausOfAdonis thanks
And you most definitely missed the point where they manipulate you in believing you/your children /friends are. the enemy!!