Malignant Narcissism Explained. What is it and what are typical behaviors.
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- Опубліковано 3 чер 2024
- Malignant Narcissism is the most severe and dangerous form of narcissism. This video will go into detail about where the term originated from, what specific personality traits are unique to malignant narcissists and what are some identifying behaviors to watch out for. If you are trying to figure out if someone in your life maybe a malignant narcissist, this video is for you.
Jill Wise, otherwise known as The Enlightened Target, is a life long survivor of narcissistic abuse. She was raised by and married to a malignant narcissist, she has endured years of parental alienation, has repeatedly been targeted by narcissists throughout her life. She has an intimate understanding of all aspects of narcissistic abuse and CPTSD. She uses her experience and what she has learned to help educate others and bring awareness about narcissistic abuse. She is also a certified Narcissistic Abuse Recover Coach and works with clients all over the world heal from the trauma of narcissistic abuse and parental alienation.
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One of the worst things is how those outside the family are completely fooled and think you're over dramatizing the situation. At times you even question yourself.
I've never wished a narc on anyone, nor a traitor.
For real!
Yeah this is so true and such an issue. Really isolating, I've ended up with strangers being kinder than family because the family believe narcissists narrative
I lived with a Malignant Narcissist for 13 years. I only realised after discard. She took my children, my home, my business, conned me out of a property portfolio & over £500,000. Then she called the Police, claiming Domestic Violence. I was arrested & whilst I was locked up overnight she self inflicted injuries. She brainwashed my own children & some friends, & nearly my own sister. She contacted 60 friends, acquaintances & business customers around the world. I ended up unemployed struggling to cope with life. It was a living nightmare. Now I’m fighting back, I discovered she’s involved in a major fraud & money laundering. Shes also stolen from the homes of several friends & family & now in the process of securing evidence. This could be a real life Netflix drama. I’m a former Police Officer & I’d never experienced anything like this in my 22 year career !
yes you would have but instead followed progressive policing policies that empower malignant people
I am so sorry you had to go through that, that it so horrendous, that someone could do that to another human being, I hope your doing better now.✨
Damn! I didn't he was a malignant until he discarded for calling him out. He tried to trap me at his sister's house, took my home and made sure I wasn't working so he can hurt me financially too. I'm so glad we didn't have a baby. He took my cat after losing years of my life for it.
I’m so sorry for you 🥺
I know how petty it sounds but: You are not alone ❤
I grew up as scapegoat to my malignant/covert mother and I know what hell feels like! At least you are free now ❤
Kudos. I too am fighting back: I will expose him and the courts will hold them accountable-
I am so tired of the, “Just move on…” No chance. We will prevail. These narcs over estimates themselves and under overestimates the victim. “They only win when we give in.”
I never knew someone could be so evil until I experienced this personally!
*Same* 💯
Me too!
@Heather: Myself as well!! They are evil, dangerous and destructive. What's worse is now I understand them 💯 % , but these horrid, sick specimens hide among us in plain sight. It took years for me to figure it out. There is lots of great, true, reliable info now and for that I am grateful!
Same here.
Try losing a job from their buddies changing petty misdemeanor charges to felonies. They hired me I had no felonies a year later I had felonies.
“People who severely alienate their children will always be a malignant narcissist”. Thank you for saying this. This is my family. Thank you so much for validating what I have been through. 🦋🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🦋
There's NO WAY I would co parent with some narcissist.
@@berylroberts131 Some parents don't have a choice when having to co-parent with a narcissist thanks to how the family court system operates if they have already drained all of their current personal resources while hanging onto the hope that the narcissist can change before getting educated about what malignant narcissism is.
💯
My dad was a narcissist. Me and my siblings broke that shit up and raised our children right and they've told me and hopefully the nieces and nephews told their parents they appreciate that. My sister is unfortunately still married to a really fucked up narc who is (un)fortunately dying of incurable cancer. His daughters are wondering if anyone will show up at his funeral..."Not us!"
Walked away from my marriage to a Narcissist with No Contact! 8 months now...Praise God 🙌 i am now walking into my Purpose, my Healing and Deliverance from such an evil spirit!
Angela Pack How did you do it?
@@cherylfontenot5593 it wasn't easy but enough was enough! Once i learned about Narcissism it wasn't hard either. I had been through years of the lying and rumors of him cheating and once the cheating was confirmed because he had gotten someone pregnant! I realized that he didn't love me but only what i could do for him. I was only one of his sources and i realized that I Love myself way too much to continue to take myself through that! I'm in my 50's and i deserve better! Self Care, Healing, Peace, and looking forward to living my best life! That was such a heavy weight i had been carrying and I've found myself again....❤🙏🙌
Don't get hoovered back once you leave if you ever go back they will make you pay for leaving in the first place even if they promise you everything you could have ever wanted it is all a lie they will forget they ever had the conversation with you 5 minutes after you come back
green spider I left and went back too many times already and I’m so over it! I’ll be 53 and it’s about self care, ❤️focusing on my health, mentally and physically. Enjoying Life and feeling free! 🙏🏾🙌🏾 Thank You for your encouragement. We have to encourage and support others who are still trapped by the Narcissist! Such an evil spirit!
@@angelapack8764 I am pretty much fully recovered except for the deep-seated anger and rage for being used for so many years I only found out about narcissism about 2 years ago and let me tell you these videos and talking to people about it really really help I am such a different person because of them I understand now where I failed I understand now why I was targeted I understand everything it is such a relief to have that closure and understanding by the way it takes time to heal remember who you were before the narcissist now look at yourself that's what you have to regain all of that see the actual damage
Once detected, you see more and more mistakes, later its getting more dangerous.
Thank you for comparing Nazis to malignant narcissism.
My sister lied to the police.
I testified that 'using police or military with guns and uniforms to harass, intimidate, or kill people is nothing short of facsism' then I pointed to the state trooper and said ' not you, her! '.
I have the utmost respect for the PA state police. Rather than doing her evil bidding, they protected my liberty
There are an awful lot of Americans claim they believe in Socialism. All Nazism means is National Socialist. Fascism was Italy's form of Socialism, Communism is Russia's form of Socialism as is China's. Check your definitions. Are you a socialist? That just makes you stupid not a narc.
10 Years after my separation/divorce and I'm still dealing with this. They are like the Terminator. They will never stop. They will keep on coming after you. It's sickening. I have no contact at all and her and her mother (The Queen Narcissist) still badmouth me to anyone that will listen. It's like being followed by the Devil!
The terminator 😂 no but truly! They’re leeches 😭
Yes they follow you forever so they can torment you!
Yes it’s been at least 50 years and it’s still full blown… the damage is immeasurable 😢
I was raised by the most violent most evil most dangerous person I've ever known in my life the rage within my mother was so much that she had to take it out on the world I don't believe there is anything that she can go near or Touch without wanting to destroy it I remember growing up how just seeing other people happy and content would make her angry to her it seemed unfair and wrong when she was in so much pain when I was younger she was arrested for murder but of course she was a pathological liar and a great manipulator and she was able to get away with it at one time she actually took me and my brother and abandoned us in a runaway home it is no wonder that being raised in that environment made me end up marrying a narcissist I was taught that this was normal behavior that this is as good as it gets for me I literally had no self-worth or boundaries at all I want to end this story by saying that the narcissist destroys themselves I remember getting a phone call from a social worker as my mother was on her deathbed and I can hear her in the background telling this woman to get me to talk to her I told the social worker that is not a human being that is a demon Pure Evil The Narcissist destroys themselves she died alone with no one of HIV in the hospital she burnt every bridge hurt everyone around her I know this sounds wrong but I remember going to her grave and spitting on it she was a catalyst of Destruction she destroyed so many people's lives it is ridiculous
#7. They don't trust others. I was recently on the phone with one who said "You can't trust anyone nowadays!" and during that very same conversation were several lies of omission, and then outright lies, so he is a perfect example of what he was talking about! Complete projection. I had mentioned the city of New Orleans several times, and he's never mentioned that he took a trip there. The reason why he didn't is because he didn't want me to know that he was visiting another malignant narcissist there. When I asked, "Did you stay with him while here?", he got angry that I asked. Busted. Blocked his number. Permanent no contact.
Have you been safe since?
I have recently come to realize that my mother is a malignant narcissist and am now receiving counseling in order to have healing. My plan is to completely remove her and her entire side of her family including my only brother from my life. My kids are the only family I have and I am going to do everything I can to protect them from being used as pawns in my mother's narcissistic need for supply. Ever since my dad passed away 3 years ago, my mother's true evil and hate surfaced toward me. Right now she has my kids living with her bc I had a breakdown, a lot caused by my mother's narcissistic abuse and refusal to help me have a break as a single mom. I can't wait to cut her and her whole side of the family from mine and my children's lives. Her whole family carries this same sick and evil narcissism. I pray protection over my children and myself and even my dads dog living with my mom
My dad used to wake us in the middle and ask us to call him sir. He is an alcoholic malignant narcissist!
Malignant Narcissism stems from a narcissist who has been through extremely severe trauma (such as being emotionally / mentally abused by a sociopath) and has not receive any professional mental health treatment for their PTSD afterwards. What happens is since the narcissist already has many of the qualities and traits that are associated with malignant narcissisms, what really happens is these traits are further heightened by the trauma the narcissist has been exposed to. In other words the narcissist's "ego" is transformed to the "superego." As a result, everything that makes the narcissist a narcissist is also heightened ten-fold and this includes the narcissist's tolerance to shame which (subconsciously > as a narcissist's ego get bigger and bigger a coping mechanism in the self subconsciously uses "shame" as a coping mechanism to keep the ego from getting out of control). However, in extreme narcissism individuals the "ego" becomes what Freud termed as the "superego." When this occurs the individual's coping mechanism "shame" becomes literally zero or very near zero which is why malignant narcissists have extremely low tolerance levels when it comes to "shame." This also explains why narcissist's who are malignant "always" have to be "right" and the other has to be always "wrong."
This theory also explains why the malignant narcissist lives in a false reality. The false reality is a coping mechanism within the malignant narcissist that everything in their false reality must be perfect as anything less than perfect is unacceptable and because anything less than perfection is unacceptable, the coping mechanism "shame" sets in. At this point (level) the malignant narcissist "shame" and "superego" and so far out of touch with reality that the only reality that the malignant narcissist is capable of dealing with is false reality which exists in the mind of the malignant narcissist.
In simpler terms, the malignant narcissist is a really a narcissist who has become a "super narcissist" as a result of being exposed to severe emotional / mental trauma. This is exactly why psychologist Eric Fromm said that narcissists at this level (malignant) at the epitome of evil itself.
When the brain is exposed to severe emotional / mental trauma the brain physically changes and adapts to deal with the severe trauma and for the narcissist this includes heightening their all their subconscious narcissism coping mechanisms to frightening levels (extreme sociopath / psychopath) that makes the narcissist > malignant narcissist what they are.
From my personal observations and personal interactions of both narcissists and malignant narcissists the theory appears to explain why extreme narcissists and malignant narcissists are the way they are.
ua-cam.com/video/wdUR69J2u6c/v-deo.html
If the ego gets larger and larger the person subconsciously doesn't realize that their tolerance to shame becomes lower and lower.... and as their ego increases their tolerance level to shame works in the opposite direction (to keep their ego in check).
As a result narcissists only know how to deal with their enormous egos. However, narcissists don't know how to deal with their profoundly low tolerance to shame thus the narcissists just keep their shame hidden and become like ticking time bombs when their ego or shame is criticized or challenged....
It seems to make much more sense and explains the narcissist's behavior perfectly.....
This also explains why Asian political leaders when they get caught in scandals they will immediately resign or step down from their position without question whatsoever due to their extremely low tolerance level to shame of being caught in a scandal (monetary or political image). The political leaders egos are so big and their (subconscious) tolerance level to shame are so small that the the balance between the ego and shame no longer can keep the ego/shame in a healthy mental equilibrium.
What's even more ugly in modern society is that narcissist parents just repeat their pattern of narcissistic parenting over and over and society ends up with entire populations where narcissism is the norm.
My dad is malignant. Weve been no contact for more than 4 years. My mom is a covert. Just went no contact. Thanks Covid. I have CPTSD. I’m working hard to parent myself.
I'll never forget how I felt after reading "People of the Lie." A chilling look at human evil and how prevalent it can be in our environment. Incredibly insidious because the "evil" is usually a mother, a father, a friend or lover.
yes the ones U come to love the most R the ones who can hurt U the most, then U find yourself asking why me why me ?? then U to God who says why not U? Then U realize U cant dwell on the problem yet instead focus on the solution which is to leave it in Gods hands, he can move mountains and cast out evil.. U just have to have faith and belief.
A sister
I literally had the thought, “I was married to Satan for fifteen years and didn’t know it.” I thought maybe I was being excessive, but no. I was married to evil.
Younger brother as he is known in my family as, "the baby of the family.
Sooo true 😔 it’s scary they’re lurking everywhere
My ex-wife was a malignant narcissist not just high on the Spectrum but actually sadistic towards the end of our marriage she didn't even try to hide the pure joy on her face every time she hurt me it wasn't even just mental it became physical honestly I don't even believe she was a human being that look on her face that pure joy that smile looked demonic I'm not quite sure what ever happened to her butt from what I hear that type of mental disorder that type of Personality or even that type of demonic possession as some people refer to it as tends to implode tends to destroy themselves eventually paranoia and delusion really starts the set into their lives seriously she was void of any compassion love or empathy truly unable to internalize any of her emotions I can just imagine existing that way is this experience in my life really made me build my boundaries and be very careful and vigilant for any trait that shows me any type of narcissism with other people it's also amazing what pathological Liars they are they will promise you the world and then the next day forget they ever had the conversation with you
I believe they are demon possessed. I saw this dark evil when my malignant/covert mother had her rage tantrums and I saw the same evil darkness in my ex narcissist. I noticed (while we were fighting) the thought popped up in my mind: Shit I fighting a demon! I’m not fighting the human I loved!
I know what I saw and I believe in demon spirit now 😮💨😮💨😮💨
I think my daughter's father is one. He matches every single red flag and sign, including the diagnosis. He is trying to take my daughter. He has turned our lives into a nightmare.
Beware of the Dark Narc!
My ex gf had all the traits turned vile and nasty after the lovebomb...set out to destroy me mentally and others too . Broke my heart with all the nasty things she said to me after the discard 😢
@Scarecrow 2112 she deffinatly wont be back shes painted me black and hates me now ......
@@marktansell9399 how are you now bro? I'm just out of a 2.5 year relationship with a FMN
Mine put me in jail but I was acquitted
I’m so sorry 😔 I dealt with the same thing. My ex told me “I used to love you. Now you’re just a Mexican Japanese girl to me” like wtf …
Jill explains all of this very well , I've experienced it all from a sibling.
Same here.
Street cousins who are armed 💪 with personal knowledge.
Thank you for sharing!
I was born to a mother with this going on, I then married one of these for 16 years. I ran for my life 11 years ago and have been healing ever since.
Here I thought I was the problem all those years. Healing from this is a full time job!
At 14:05 I would like to add that they knowingly chose the behavior , because there are no consequences.
The malignant narc sociopath I was with was the best con man... and I guess he figured how to hide these controlling behaviors smh
He made it seem he was not arrogant or controlling and he did this very well!!!
I was severely abused in all ways by this evil .... covertly, overtly extreme gaslighting and sadism
Now his REAL self did show up in the last year of discard
He would never try to LOOK controlling or arrogant he did that incredibly well just like pretending he had empathy
It ALL came out full force in the end absolutely no conscience and everything he pretended he wasn’t cane out strong
Just warning people they learn the game even better as they age and can hide some of these NPD red flags
Although from the beginning he was so disrespectful and verbally abusive etc
He made me believe he had bi polar and it was alcohol
You are right he did the most sickening disgusting sadistic things especially the last year of betrayal I could not wrap my mind around
I was discarded 3 years ago and they are capable of anything. I finally had to move away 2 years
And have healed a lot
Just want people to know that they can hide a lot of red flags very well
With that said a lot of other abusive behaviors he could not
I knew something was wrong from the beginning I tried to leave many times before .. they are relentless
I was threatened and kept hostage at one time
With that said if I would have listened in the first week to my intuition it would have never gone on
And to my demise it lasted 7 years 😩
I had boundaries before him. With that fake love and the relentless nature he broke them.
He was like no man I ever encountered he showed affection like no other it’s unbelievable
So I was trauma bonded by this psycho early.
They are very much like the nazi
Yes NPD is common with nazi's and This Emperialistic Abusive System....systematicly abuse! Look at this gasslight covid situation...control!
I’m so sorry you had this experience. I’ve been in it since age 13… we were kids together. I was trauma bonded. Once I woke up, the discard began, and oh my god, the cruelty that happens then is off the charts. We are light, love, empathy, trust, kindness, compassion, and goodness. They want what we have because no other qualities top those, in the known universe. So bless yourself, and be kind to yourself! You are to everyone else, and you so deserve your own kindness, love, and respect. Namaste.❤️🙏
@@WalkerHoundGal, My thoughts are they do not want what we have. They despise and hate people like us, because they see us and everybody else as inferior and week at the knees. Malignant narcissists have a god complex and feel they are more intelligent than people who have out achieved them in life and in education. They know everything and if you have a difference of opinion or challenge them they will go after you like there is no tomorrow.
Demon possessed! I have seen it in my malignant/covert mother and SameSame evil darkness in my ex narcissist
Thank you Jill. I’ve been emotionally involved with a man who fits the description of a malignant Narcissist for the past eight years. I’m now employing low to no contact.
Yep they are pathological liars.
The lying is constant!!! This video explains everything so so well. Trying to explain what you are experiencing to others, including some trained professionals & many working within 'The System', is extremely challenging and at times, futile. Malignant narcissist's can easily con/convince others that their lies, their sense of reality is right, with victims/former victims looking on in utter disbelief, often whilst they are being held to account or having their parenting or mental health, their very sanity being questioned. All the while knowing the extent of the lies. Bizarre is the word I have often used to describe this phenomenon. Unreal or incomprehensible is another. I have come full circle ⭕ in terms of truly appreciating the extent of the abuse I have endured & it is a very surreal experience, situation to be in. I still have alot to work through, as an empath who has been used & abused by MN parents, had children with a MN & sadly, despite my best efforts, leaving, distancing etc, see how the cycle can repeat & how innate many of these traits are.
Thanks for the videos. I hope society will become more enlightened. Peace to all those who have been affected. B
Has anyone ever tried to warn a loved one that they are in a relationship with a narcissist? I so badly want to have that conversation with my son but am afraid it would backfire. He married what we believed at the time was a wonderful young lady. We (his immediate family) were soon blindsided and left for dead, so to speak, when her covert narcissistic mask came off and we became her new target. I had never before heard the term "covert narcissist", and I sure wish we could have been armed with this knowledge a few years ago. By her cunning deceit, she has succeeded in brainwashing our son and alienating him from us. I keep praying that he will wise up and flee from her.
I'm that son of a different mother if somebody would of told me early on before or after marriage that this was not a person I should stay with, I don't know what I would've of done. But i wouldn't of been mad at the person trying to tell me something. I started noticing things shortly after our kid's came to be and I knew a while ago that this marriage was not a good one but if I started doing things to end the marriage she would do anything she could to keep the kids away from me and proudly turn them against me as if it was the thing your supposed to do in that situation. Now I could take it and care for them no matter what especially after I figured out what was actually happening and that i wasn't crazy. But she appeals to laziness and selflessness and doesn't help teach them anything important and when I do she tries to make it as though I'm crazy for teaching them how to take care of them self and right from wrong basic parenting stuff. I do not have a bad relationship with my kids at all but given the choice natural human instinct is to take the path of resistance and I'm not mad at that, so given a choice it wouldn't be surprising they would live with there mother and would not receive any upbringing and have no chance at making a happy life for themselves and when say none I mean none. (I could give alot of examples.) So I've been toughing it out for a while for this reason now my daughter is almost 18 and my son isn't far behind. He probably knows( your son) that something is off and also I think my mom felt the same way you do and didn't know how to handle the situation as well. And i can tell she bites her tounge still and it gets harder to do so. Looking back on it if I would've know the specifics of narscissim and it was an actual thing I could recognize that has a name and clearly negative effects I would've stepped away. I'm telling you this to relate and my advice would be familiarize him with the subject right now narcissism is rampid it's a huge problem in the world but there are still decent people.maybe if he can recognize it he'll just wanna separate himself from it. Be well
Just let him know that you are there for him anytime anyday and if it’s appropriate give a innocent hint that points to narcissism. That’s what I would do if it was my son.
But I have told my son about narcissism after I found out that there is a name for people like my malignant/covert mother and my ex narcissist. Every single confused piece fell into place. I didn’t know before. Thank god he is young and studying and no time for gf 🙏🙏🙏
Thank you for sharing these videos. In all of your videos I have watched so far, you have described my Mother In Law perfectly. Silent treatments, pinning her children against each other, sense of entitlement, triangulation etc. She use to live with my husband and I and wreaked havoc on our marriage. Finally my sister and brother in law moved the Mother in Law out of our home and into one of her own. No we have very little contact with her.
Omg,you are so right,I'm literally witnessing,this from my soon to be ex,and his mother(rest of his family similar too.)🤔😁
It's very scary when you realize your kid is imitating their narcissist parent because it "works" for them. I never thought I would ever have to walk away from one of my kids just to save my elf-esteem.
An entire family you say.
Probably a hyperbolic statement, because that's never occurred before.
Are you jaded or projecting ?
ThatDutchguy No. I do not think it is a hyperbolic statement. Families like that do exist.
Andrea Johnson yes my ex from similar cult like malignant npd family
Wow, same here. My ex has all of these traits he just dumped me 3 days ago over a stupid fight. But because I was recently diagnosed with cancer I no longer serve a purpose so now I know why. This video was very helpful.
Thank you, You have done your homework. You know of what you speak and I'm grateful for this affirmation. What empty monsters they are. Well dressed, empty monsters.
The Piper of Simms yep just like a hollowed out jack o lantern
very accurate....i'm 8 months pregnant and my narcisisstic mother texts my husband trying to gossip about me with invented lies...trying to portray me as an insane person to him....
Daisy, these narc mothers & stepmothers are a nightmare. I know firsthand. I’ve read so many stories of the devastation they cause. I’m living it myself.
I became familiar with M. Scott Peck after checking out some lectures of his from the library. These were on cassette, so you know it was some time ago! He made so much sense, particularly regarding narcissism, that I looked for books of his. I especially appreciated "People of the Lie." I believe I last read that one about a year ago.
*Very informative 👍 I'm co-parenting 7 kids with a malignant narcissist. Hopefully someday I can find even the tiniest shred of peace 🙏*
Praying for you ❤️ same, just one child.
@@baleny Thank you, praying for you too 🙏 it's so nice to hear from someone who understands 💗 Usually people say to leave. I left twice in 2021. I now know that if I ever left for good that my life would be at risk. I doubt he'd just let me live. He got really crazy when I left both times. But now that I'm here, with him, I'm actually in a much safer situation, for me and for my kids.
Only if I could redo my whole life, could I change things. But not at this point.
I think I've come to the conclusion that my husband was a combination of many types of narcissist .
mine was narc/borderline/histrionic
One way to make sure is to look at yourself before the relationship now look at yourself look at everything you've lost look at how tired you are look at how stressed out you are
Hi Jill, well I'm 73 and still learning what happened to me. My father was a psychiatrist, a malignant covert narcissist, father of 9 children. In the oldest! Ha. He hated that. You describe him in all your videos perfectly. I call my siblings the narcissistic family cult. I have no contact. I just couldn't take the insults any more. He vilified me, of course, for taking care of myself and supported my abusive narcissist husband. He destroyed my 2nd husband and marriage. TY for your all your insightful videos on the subject. You and I are survivors.
Wow great job explaining the malignant narcissist. I too was raised by one. I've just decided to go no contact along w my brother who's been doing the same for five years. In our case it's the woman who's supposed to be our mother but I'm never calling her mother or mom ever again. She's PURE EVIL and I'm so glad u understand and thank you for spreading the word!!!
What is creepy is that they get bored and will meet new people and proceed to charm, lie, and manipulate them. The exploitation and act commences! I dated a MN on/off for five years. It was terrifying and took a lot to get out of the relationship. The hypocrisy and double standard was particularly tough. The projection and DV threat is also awful!
Fantastic video,I actually thought you were talking about my ex girlfriend,she has all these traits.Didnt think these people existed until I met her,keep up the great work,now I understand what I was up against.
You are amazing and inspiring, Jill. You went through the worse and became the best version of yourself. You were around awful and cruel people but chose to be kind and compassionate
Thank you for explaining what a malignant narcissist is. I believe I dated my first & last narcissist. After listening to this video I now know he was a malignant narcissist, which was really crazy until he discarded me 3 months ago. I haven’t tried contacting him . It’s been no contact & I am feeling so much better. He definitely was a great actor I literally bought into all his faces . Thank God He intervened & saved me from my first & last narcissist. I am now arming myself with as much knowledge of these disturbed people so I will not fall prey to one again.
I don't wish to discourage you but I was married to a covert narc for 13 years. He destroyed my life and my family. Irreparably. I studied on this subject and discovered I was raised by a very malignant father.
I've been free (divorced) for 6 years. I finally healed enough to let another man into my life. Someone I had known since my youth. So I trusted him early on. I've now been remarried for just 1 year and his malignant mask fell off 😯
I've been entrapped again, and this one is 100 times worse then the 1st one (which I thought was impossible).
My advice here is this: Time reveals all narsissists masks. This is why they ALWAYS try to rush the relationship. I married my 1st husband after 5 months because he impregnated me (while I slept and without concent), and told me he wanted nothing more then to be a husband and Father. The 2nd marriage moved quickly as well. married after 1 year because we were both in our 40's and knew eachother since childhood.
They will tell you they love you WAY too soon. they have a small to non-existent circle of friends. They aren't really close to anyone, many acquaintances but they're all superficial "friendships".
So take time. A narcs cryptonite is a slow pace. They can only act for so long. Say no and it washes the mask off. No you can't move in with me yet. No I dont want you to call me mama, no I dont like rough anal sex. You will see that every "no" boundary you set, will be violated!!
After being with my 1st narc husband for 13 years and not having felt love or respect in soooo long. I fell prey hook line and sinker to my 2nd husband's love bombing phase. I had forgotten what it was like to be "loved" and it was intoxicating. I felt alive again....until...the love started being pulled back, conditional apon my compliance to him to now not being worthy of his "love". "LOVE" has been replaced with pain, abuse and relentless torment.
I must remain single for ever now because I am a narc magnet. My Father started the grooming process. My 1st husband and father isolated me from family and friends so by the time my 2nd husband arrived on the scene I was a sitting duck in the pond. The work was already done for him. I was isolated 100%
Good luck to you. I pray you find healing and wisdom and that you dont fall victim to this abuse ever again!!!
No contact is the key! I have a son with one. Our son is now 25 years old now and he’s smart enough to see how horrible his father is.
Thanks Jill! By the way, my whole family fought Nazis in World War 2 as American spies, resistance fighters in the Netherlands, and in the bloody snow of the Ardennes.
Everything you say is just another box checked on my sister.
Another trait she possesses is to say ridiculous lies with a huge smile on her face, eyes lit up, and giggling
She looks like Elizabeth Holmes!
Thanks again, you hit the nail right on the head!
I WISH I had known any of this twenty years ago. It is too late now.... the damage has been done! Now I can only try to heal and stay alive. I am just glad that I am enough for me. If I had never doubted myself I would not be here now. Not inder these circumstances. Thank you for the confirmation that you are giving me.
Hi Jill. I just watched my first video with you speaking on malignant narcissist. I left my narcissist husband 17 months ago. I am so relieved that I got out and I’m so grateful that I saved myself. There are no words to describe how evil things can become. You nailed it! I am looking forward to following you and listening to all your videos. I do work with a coach and have been in lots of counseling. It’s a long road to recover, I am still on my journey. All I can say is if this sounds familiar at all, you should run as fast and as far away as possible, if you can. They are evil!
Malignant narcissists are the quintessence of evil.
They truly are. They are absolutely delusional. My grandma is a malignant narcissist. She is such a horrible human being I can't stand to be in her presence at all. Now I see why my mother has so many issues. She is a mixture of a covert and a grandiose narcissist. The good thing is that at least now I am educated on the subject and can identify it and protect myself from them. Like you said, they truly are evil
@@sfletch3042 ~ It's stunning people like this actually walk among us. The best thing to do is being educated on the subject like you're doing. I wish I knew what I know now years ago...
Very damaging to the self!
Just come across your video and now subscribed, spent 32 years with what i think is an malignant narc who is now my ex and i have to co parent with, she is extremely p*ssed off and so far i've been lucky to walk away with everything! this is mainly thanks to a councillor i went to see after her masked slipped and the abuse started. You pretty much describe my ex.
Spot on when it comes to malignant narcissist.
Well stated, organized, honest and extremely helpful.
Thank you so much for sharing these videos!! I find it to be soooo helpful when being confused and the gaslighting, I need this to remind myself I’m not the crazy one! I’m dealing with the 10 out of 10 malignant narc😳 thank you so much for what you do! It’s extremely valuable ✌️❤️
I really need help to prove that my mom is a malignant narcissist and help to get my kids back and completely away from her and her whole family. My brother physically assaulted me and my mother stood there and watched. She truly does enjoy seeing me in pain. She really had become a full blown malignant narcissist worse than I've ever seen her. I am starting to truly believe that she was the reason my first cat went missing. My moms story was that she believes my cat was hit by the bulldozer that was digging a whole in our front yard and that Tigger, my cat was right there at the hole watching and they probably ran her over and just threw her in the hole. How would she know that??! Are malignant narcissists known to kill animals? I mean this cat was very close to me and my dad which would have caused my mom to be jealous. I am really seeing just how sick and evil my own mother really is and it scares me that my kids are living there right now.
Dr.George DeLange in Palm Beach Gardens, IS A malignant narcissist, he did some Evil stuff to me, and when I called him out on it...he gave me this sadistic smile...sick man!!
I was also raised by a malignant grandiose narcissistic mother and a covert narcissistic father and they have repeatedly inflicted harm after harm on me. Just like yourself, even my father drilled it into me as a child that keeping quiet and not expressing my feelings or opinions was the highest virtue that I need to inculcate, and my grandiose NPD mother showed me how her ways were better to follow rather than my own opinion because she is this grandiose personality who is not even second to God himself.
And if all of that was not enough, now they have even got me married off to a girl not of my choice and who is also a covert narcissist, and given the fact that she fits the dark triad you've mentioned in this video, I think that she's even a malignant one at that. God, please help me.
I had a malignant narc monster for a mother. I am the scapegoat, the evil I had to go thru is unfuckingbelieveable! Most pple have no clue this level of evil even exist, let alone coming from your own mother. Or godforbid a grandmother. THE EVIL THAT WALKS AMONG US!!!
Thank god you survived and you have an intact soul and are not evil.
This describe the person whom I am legally bound to. He was diagnosed as sadistic in the 80’s. The forensic (court ordered counseling ) psychologist visited me while I was in the hospital for surgery and realizing 2 years later that she must have left physician’s notes, I went to the hospital to medical records and read her notes. She stated that I lived with a sadistic man. I felt a sense of peace knowing that she did understand. You described this man to a tee. He is evil!!!!!
I was abused by one for years she escalated things recently by physically assaulting me, so I went full permanent no contact for the rest of my life our counselor couldn’t believe she lost that much control to hit me, but now things have gotten healthier my fiancé told me he is horrified to have seen his mom do that to me and now religiously meets with the counselor to repair the abuse his adoptive mom raised him with and heal himself and our separate household in which she used to have her rules and controlling measures in but no more that was the last straw!!! My fiancé told me he will never again beg me to forgive her nor allow access to me again he is done hoping his mom can ever change and be nice or decent with me. My fiancé as I told him his mom was using her mandatory babysitting she has no custody to force me to drop off the child so she could abuse me I refuse to do this anymore. His mom once stole his child for a solid month against our will and refused to give back the child until I was told to go to her house to get him so I did I got the child out of her house while she was yelling and she hit me I called the police. Because she abused her one overnight stay we allowed her to have and she kept him for an entire month claiming he was ill and his severe behavior changes and tantrums we have discontinued overnight stays and the child’s behavior has started to improve. He and his child moved in last May and for 4 months he was acclimating well we documented the success with a counselor, then the grandmother said she couldn’t handle this change and was having trouble letting go and she demanded we allow overnight visits with her grandson with her and then the child’s behavior drastically adversely changed I documented this too with our counselor and my fiancé is soon to get his son to a counselor. We have documented the child’s improved behavior due to discontinuing any overnight stays. Sad that she used her grandchild! Horrible! Thank god we have counselors to help keep my fiancé’s Abusive mom’s constant plotting out of our separate home!
***Please go no contact victims please, protect yourself! Listen to the video!
Did you ever do a video on the inverted narcissist?
Jill, once again, you've given a perfect description of my mother's (and less so my ex's) behavior.
Insisting on being and/or having "the best", mocking, name calling, lying, belittling, devaluing. Those are all parts of it.
You've also helped me to understand why a psychologist refused to do anything for me until I was no longer with either one of them.
Both my parents had narcissistic traits, my dad more so, however they were not malignant narcissists. Amazing when a child can survive an upbringing like that under the thumb of 1 or 2 malignant narcissists and then go on to have a normal level of success in life. We could all learn from them when avoiding narcissistic abuse from a distance better too.
I am extreamlly greatefull for your explanation on the topic. I call narcissist out all the time and I get fucked like you discribed. They go to the extreams.
You just described every Swiss...some of the best actors I’ve ever seen.
You just described my father to a T! Thank you for the enlightening information! Very helpful!
Oh my God this was my ex married for 18 years!! I think he is with another narcissist & yes I have to co-parent ugh.. it's a nightmare.. divorce took 4 years
Did he make u call him sir or daddy
I haven’t always seen this in my mother, but I surely see it now.
Problem for her, is that I might be a malignant empath.🙂
What a great way to look at us. Omg that just made me smile. Thank you
Alice Holbert 🙂
Malignant empath...yes
Great Video !
Loving your content!!! Thank you for sharing 💖
Great vid! Scott Peck’s People of the Lie one the best books on the subject! I was raised by a Narc too, Vipers. Pure wickedness .. Delusional scary bizarre weirdos. Takes years to fully understand and grasp this damaging principality, and know the dangers of these monsters.
You said Machiavellian correctly, my soon to be mother monster in law is a cerebral type of just that as a narcissist!
Excellent. Excellent list. Spot on in every single way.
This is an excellent explanation.
Thank you.
Thanks!
Best explanation ever👍
Thanks for this. First Aid Kit just when I needed it 😘
so true grate video
Thank you
Great video! Looking forward to your video on inverted narcissists.
I have been watching your videos. Thank you for sharing your insight and putting it out there for us to see. You present clear concise information. I believe viewing different video presentations from various professionals on this topic are essential/ vital. Thank you for sharing your videos with us. Great job!
The malignant narcissists in my life are so evil it took me years to face the facts about what they've been doing my entire life. Any friend I'd make would be contacted behind my back and I would be maligned to ruin all my credibility. I never understood why so many people who got along with me so well the first few meetings would suddenly change their behaviour sooner rather than later, once my narcissists learned about my new friend and reached out to them. The same thing would happen with my employers.
I'm still coming to terms with how much damage those utterly evil people have done to my life. The only way to deal with people like that is to mentally get to the point where you want them dead. I have reached that stage and will never budge from it.
Spot on‼️👌💯
Outstanding advice
Absolutely excellent video! Thanks so much!❤
Every last behavior you mention my wife has... The worst malignant narcissist maybe even you have ever encountered. I know you might get that a lot but if only you heard the stories so far and what I'm going to end up going through.
Unfortunately when your daughter is the narcissist and a mothers love is supposed to be unconditional, it's hard to cut ties, especially when grandchildren are involved also. It's important to learn survival skills in order to become more resilient but expect to be annihilated from all corners. It's soul destroying 😔
Ann Boyer this one is really hard! I am in the same boat but have had to go no contact in order to save my life. Literally. These are the slimiest of all as it is impossible to talk to anyone in the immediate circle because as a mother you are supposed to love unconditionally. Getting to see the Gkids was a continuous emotionally draining battlefield of broken promises. My Gkids used to have so much fun with me and always begged to stay longer which I think might have pinged the narcess off. You would think she would have been pleased that her children had someone who loved them as much as I do. But the painful realty is...she cares not and only wants me to suffer for some reason that I am honestly clueless about. This feels like hell and I can't see it ending. I am in so much shock over this as I didn't see what had been going on for decades until recently.
Bandie Boo I can really empathise with you. My daughter has tried to turn my teenage granddaughters against me, by telling awful lies about me but thankfully their memories of being with me as children, which was every school break and some, counteract her words. I also have a six year old grandson now, who has developed a deep attachment to me, so my daughter uses that as a tool against me. When all I ever did was love and help her in anyway possible, always putting myself last, like a fool but was still abused, I realised it was myself that needed to change. You can't change the way people talk or think about you but you can change the way you react to it. I'm lucky that my family have witnessed some of her treatment of me and thankfully I've had their support throughout. My heart goes out to you but think of yourself, heal and whatever will be will be. 🙏🏻💞
Unconditional love of a Malignant Narc is God's job, we are not God. None of you have to buy the BULLSHIT pablum of unconditionally loving adult people ( your adult selfish narc children) who are repeatedly assholes to you and/or treat you like crap and act like parasites (aka suck on you for narcissistic supply).
For minor children we allow for immaturity but I raised my children with the Golden Rule ( meaning: don't do what you don't want done to you to others...INCLUDING ME) . I believe in reciprocity and mutual emotional support when it comes to adult children. Living in a different city is very helpful with adult malig. narcs. It also helps to have more than 1 child that you can share a normal relationship with. I am very sorry to hear of your isolation but please engage with others ( even pets) who value and love you.
Last Saturday one of my son's texted me this verbatim: "Love you Mom, thankyou for parenting me right ". Before he met his wife I would text him goofy cat videos and he would comment that it was like a shot of "love". He lives 3 hours away and I am not a smothering mom and vowed I would never be a mother-in-law from hell. His father is however a malignant narc and life with his step-dad was beyond the pale ( train wreck- suicide attempt from his own wrong doing). Anyway, for 2 of my adult children; having them acknowledging that I was always a "Good Mom", ( which came out of the blue), was very poignant. I needed to hear those words, especially when I tried my best to give them a better parent than I had... despite being poor, marrying young, being one of 11children and lacking the kind of parent that I became to them. My daughter is snubbing me and since she was always borderline, mean, and frankly a hard child to love...I don't miss her drama when she appears that she can get people to step in and bail her out of burning and treating people as if they are disposable. Hope my input helps.
Thank you so much for sharing this life saving information ❤️
Thank you for the references to Erich Fromm and M Scott Peck!
When you talk and you give an example of a malignant narcissist. What I originally thought of was a movie called This Boys Life. It has Robert De Niro, and Leonardo DiCaprio in there. It is really good. But in that movie Robert De Niro is what I think of when you talk about a malignant narcissist. Along with my ex of 11 years of course. When you were talking about hypocrite, double standards, lying. She got mad at my daughter because my daughter has long eyelashes naturally. So then she started growing and getting some glued on. Right at the end of our relationship. She didn’t realize that I caught what she had said. At this point though I had already been researching the stuff because of her behavior and I was like what is making her act this way this cannot be normal. And vindictive. I could fill up this whole comment section on stuff. And some of the vindictive stuff she would do people didn’t even know. She would smile on their face and act like their friend. They would tell you she is a good person. They have no idea how bad she dislikes some of them. They would think that everything was cool.
Wow I've learnt so much after watching this
I wish I know this early. GREAT JOB WELL DONE!!
Jill, thank you so much for your information, I appreciate it very much.
You described my parents and ex's to a T. I have no idea how to recover from the destructive and cruel ways they have destroyed every entity in my life.
Chantel Baldwin. You have a life, and it's right in front of you. You are ENTITLED to be happy, and that is your right. Narcississm is a worldwide epidemic. It's so bad, that the Bible even warns us about this. Read about narcissists in Psalm: 73, and 2nd Timothy: 3. Only God Himself can help us to recover.
Chantel Baldwin. They are the ones with the problem, NOT YOU.
STAY STRONG,💪💪💪because you ARE strong.
Very informative both in terms of the historical background (Eric Fromm and Peck) and your own personal assessment and experiences leading to advice in dealing with those devious, cheating, lying and irredeemable individuals. Tremendous presentation, Jill!
0:24...uh... WOW. Okay. I guess I found the right channel. I've been trying to sort all that stuff out for years.
Man, You Tube is awesome. 😌👍
All True. So glad for your passion on this topic and your insight and knowledge. I realize that we never had a real relationship anyway. As soon as I stopped stroking his ego I became essentially nothing to him. It’s ok because since I’ve been learning about narcissism I feel stronger and wiser especially now that I know it’s not me! It never has been me. Thank you
You described my mother perfectly!
Thank you for giving your personal testimony. This brings us closer to you, makes us create more empathy and makes us receive your knowledge on the subject in even more depth. I ended a "relationship" with a malignant narcissist 1 year ago. I still cringe at my own story...
Five years running for my life and sanity from a dark triad. Truer evil never existed. He tried to Hoover after one year nc. Now don't sleep at night. Run. Run and never look back.
I think I had more than one in my life
And this without me knowing
At a point the only thing I knew is that something was not right at all.
I listen this time. I haven't heard from him since and I will avoid him. Thank you again Jill.
#6 incredibly vengeful and cruel. I’ve been experiencing that. My dad asked me to move my mother from under my sister’s care to his granddaughter. For good reason. Omg! How dare he think the granddaughter could do a better job! Their granddaughter and I have been accused of kidnapping, elder abuse, financial abuse. We have received threats. There were two APS investigations - found not valid. I couldn’t have moved my mother without my father/her guardian’s approval and paperwork. Totally ignored it. Said he wasn’t mentally competent to make that decision. But, surprise, he was mentally competent to have my sister named POA of his estate 1 1/2 years and a stroke later. It’s a nightmare. My father has since passed and now to untangle everything. Suddenly, she’s sweet as pie in attorney’s office. I just don’t know what to think.
Narcissists also use your positive character traits and project them onto themselves. I experienced it myself with my introverted narcissistic ex partner. In this way they try to make you even more uncertain and justify their behavior.
Amazing vid, had a very unfortunate experience with one of these demons. Pure poison ☠️