I think that advice is not applicable for me. I never got to discover what I like due to poverty and once I start working (even though I am 24) I will start experimenting to see what works. So I think that sometimes it is fine to buy for your fantasy self.
For me it’s: - things that need to be ironed. no. - things that are really stressful in terms of picking up stains. A white coat is beautiful but a bad idea. - diddy little handbags. If it can’t hold a book and a bottle of water it’s not useful. - and then it’s just reminding myself which shapes don’t & will never look right on me. Certain shoulders, necklines, trouser shapes… Just because I can doesn’t mean I should.
@@anna-lenab8343 I'm the same with clothes that I'll have to hand wash, I have all these nice tops that I could be wearing (and I do like them) but the thought of having to hand wash them later is just, nope!
@@frangipanisandgirlif you’re not wearing them you could try just machine washing them to see what happens. It’s usually the drying that causes issues so if you can handle line drying them it would help! A lot of items that say dry clean only can actually be washed as well. The manufacturer just doesn’t want to take a risk so they recommend the safest but not the only possible washing option.
I have several delicate pieces that I sort by lights vs. darks and then put each one in a garment bag and wash on the hand wash cycle in my machine (one dark load, one light load). Then I lay flat to dry and iron if needed. It’s admittedly higher maintenance but for me it has been worth it since I adore those pieces and the natural fibers they’re made of. That said, when my kids were younger and I worked long hours all the time I was not up for that, and my MIL who is retired has never been up for it.
I always avoided "dry clean only" clothes, but then I bought one of those dry clean bags so I could just pop those things in the dryer. Opened up some wonderful options! :) I still don't wash or wear them that often, but thats mostly cause they're pretty fancy. I love them enough that I'm really happy with them.
A game changer for me was also getting rid of clothes I USED TO love. Like frumpy shirts I wore constantly when I was less confident. Or stereotypical business casual shirts I wore to make myself feel more mature but now I never wear to work as an actual adult. I remember it being an essential, but when I try it on I find out that's past me and not current me talking
It was super liberating to get rid of every single button down shirt. I only wore them to work to make myself look older my first few years as a teacher and always felt like I was wearing a costume.
@ccheyenne literally same! I used to feel like I had to super over compensate so no one would confuse me for a student! I hate button downs though, it was annoying 😷
Agreed. When I was in college I was so anxious and so self concious, I didn't want to be percieved at all. I basically lived in black hoodies. I managed to gain a tiny bit of self confidence once I left and started rediscovering my personal style. And I realised I really, really love bright colours. As much as it was hard to get rid of my black hoodies, it was a much needed farewell. That wasn't me anymore.
Same. I took out many clothes I used to wear a lot. I grow old and looking for more mature adult representation. I can feel and hear my inner self says yes to that 😂
I feel like sticking to certain colors was a huge help to me. That simple rule alone has prevented me from buying soo many trendy items that i'll literally never wear. It's just like an instant filter that saves you.
I agree with you. I don’t think I have anything in my closet/drawers that can only be worn with a certain other piece. I happen to like the classic basic neutral colors. I’ve had to adjust some of them because I’ve let my hair go salt/pepper or steel gray, and I’m rarely out in the sun every single summer like when I was young. I had never really thought about adjusting my clothing colors as I aged, until I stopped coloring my hair. If you’re young(I’m already 66) be prepared to adjust as you get older. 👍🏻
Agree. When I was working, I had a firm rule: Black, white, gray, blue (navy), beige/tan. Add a little color with red shirt or skirt; or maybe a yellow blouse. Occasional forays into other colors, but usually regretted spending the money. Made getting dressed a piece of cake.
@@heidimeigs5192 So true. I let my hair go grey and none of my favorites colors looked right anymore, so I added the lightest shade of blonde and now I am happy again.
I stick to my color palette, all blues, some jewel tone greens, all reds, some purple/ violets, black,Grey, beige, white. Notice this is all on one side of the color wheel. Bonus, I can wear all combinations, so easy.
I literally wear all the earthy colors (like browns, dark muted greens, dark reds and a whole lot of black to gray stuff) I have a few select bright pices (like my favourure mustard yellow sweater) plus some summer clothing in a lighter palette since wearing dark colors would be a suicide Moving out really helped me to nail down things that arent fitting enough to try and cram in my luggage, therefore i had to take my most worn and most preferred clothes
Also, clothes that have bad memories! If you wore it during a breakup, when you got in a car accident, when you experienced an embarrassing moment, definitely get rid of it. No need to be reminded of trauma every time you open your closet and those bad vibes should not be attached to you!!
Good idea! That’s why I eliminated my clothes from high school (I hated high school so much, especially the social part) and my ill-fated relationship. They reminded of my unhappy days, so I had to let them go. My clothes from high school were out of style and those from my relationship were frumpy anyway (and too big for me since I lost weight afterwards).
I was given a beautiful hand me down dress as a child. I absolutely loved how it looked and wanted to wear it. However, every time I put it on, I felt an overwhelming sense of dread & very very icky. It was like something awful was attached to it. Like something bad happened to the child while wearing it. I never wore that dress. I believe things definitely carry energy.
I want to add "clothes that look good on you but aren't really your style." Like, there's so much in my closet that I bought just because I looked really good in them, but I never wore them because it never felt like it was me.
I have the body type that can wear almost anything. I do not have the lifestyle to have anywhere to wear them TO however. Therefore my closet reflects the latter.
Yes!! I actually had that experience about a year ago. I tried on a dress and I actually really loved it. It fit well, it looked good . . . But it was definitely not the style I usually wear, and I couldn't see myself going towards the style the dress was. I stared at myself for a long time, and finally asked myself, "Okay, yeah, this looks good. But are you actually going to ever *wear* it??" And the answer was no, so I put it back.
Looks good but feels uncomfortable. Yes! I won’t wear it. But my main problem is I’m petite. Even petite sizes aren’t petite enough, and a top looks like a tunic, or even a dress!
As someone who knits, crochets and sews myself, i feel like i need to say that it is totally okay to not wanting to wear what you have created. (I might need this comment to tell myself again too). Sometimes projects go wrong or you'll realise after you have ruined 3 perfectly good selfmade sweaters because you've accidently washed them too hot, that you didnt create a piece for yourself but maybe for someone else around you, who is willing to give that piece the attention it deserves! Not to mention who is willing to spend some extra time and care to keep the piece in the condition it was originally in. To all crafters: its okay to not love the piece you've made and to sell, swap or just hand it to someone else.
I also crochet and I agree with you, I end up unpicking something and use the yarn for something else,I know that’s time consuming but I love crocheting and I make things up fast so for me it works. I now have lots of blankets lol 😂
Totally with you in this. Last year I made a cute purple vest I have never worn because I have nothing to style it with and I just don’t want to add anything to my wardrobe only to be able to wear something that’s not me. I tried and tried, but I don’t feel it. Currently thinking how can I get rid of it without just throwing it away.
Thank you for your message! I sewed two pieces of clothing that i don’t really love so much and i feel so bad about it. The third item i made was already a bit better. Now i am making my fourth piece, a skirt, which I’m really loving how it is turning out!!
You're so right! I remember the first sweater I knitted, it looked pretty good but it took me so long to make it that by the time I finished I was sick of it hahahah I ended up gifting it to a friend
I think your “don’t buy basic ‘must-haves’” advice just changed my entire outlook on t-shirts. Because I DON’T like plain solid color shirts, but I buy a lot of concert and festival t-shirts, and I always feel kinda guilty about it, because I’m not generally a tshirt wearer. But I wear them a lot on low energy days when I still wanna look polished at work, because they pair very well with a pencil skirt.
I wear both white tees and graphic print/rock band tees. They look great with a medium-to-dark wash straight leg jean, a great blazer or shorter “lady jacket”.
😉Wore collared cashmere polos & crew neck cotton tees & tanks under my skirt suits BEFORE it was popular. 😳Silky blouses & traditional button ups never quite suited me. The former felt too fussy, & the latter never quite fit my extreme hour-glass⌛️shape right🥺. 😊Nowadays, love wearing a 🧢baseball cap, concert tee or sassy graphic tee w/a pencil skirt & sneakers out for a day date, lunch, or museum visit. Both would've been far too daring during my corporate hey day working for a Fortune 500 entertainment company. I would've been sent home🏡 in disgrace to change. 💚Bridget from Cali☘️ (using my pal's YT acct)
Not only shrinking clothes, mine is the waste of money that a clothing becomes when you realise nature also loves these "natural sustainable" fibers... For food.
High heels… i live in The Netherlands and the streets are made of cobblestones.. every pointy heel gets stuck. Once i even lost my train because my heel got stuck and the cobblestone wouldn’t give it back 😅
Haha same Raquel. Once tried to walk 100 meters to the cinema and kept walking while my pump got stuck 😂 A group of guys behind me brought me the shoe and I couldn't stop laughing while having my Cinderella moment 😅
@@riannevandenberg58 🤣🤣🤣 yesss!! Now i have a collection of heels that I don’t know what to do with them. I really love them, but can’t really wear them. And I don’t want to get rid of them..
I really loved that you pointed out that the "must have items" are different wardrobe to wardrobe. I can't stand blazers and almost never wear a classic button up so I always felt like I have a false capsule but indeed those clothes didn't belong in my wardrobe and that's perfectly ok
This was my favorite part of the video too! I see a lot of videos and influencers advocating for essential jeans, but it’s my least favorite clothing. Staple pieces should vary depending on the person and their lifestyle.
Indeed! It really depends on your lifestyle, and where you are in your life journey, too. I'm currently semi-retired, work part-time from home and part-time for a tiny little church. I have no need of an extensive 'career wardrobe' now; just a few basics to look decent in Zoom calls and if someone drops by the church during office hours. The rest of the time, a fun casual wardrobe is fine.
@@_xiosaThis! Essential jeans... what if my perfect wardrobe contains no jeans? I just plain don't like wearing pants, but I keep being told I need them for a versatile wardrobe. I have to be realistic, skirts and dresses are a better choice for me. They're more comfortable and are better suited to my body's needs. It might not be for everyone, but it works for me.
👗 All so true! I am guilty of stockpiling basics when they are on sale-like buying 8 black tee shirts-and saying I’ll wear 4 until they fade/lose shape, then pull out the other 4. But I ALWAYS pull out the other ones too soon (haven’t done laundry, etc) so then I have 8 tshirts all wearing out at the same time. 😆😩
As someone addicted to overbuying great clothes I find at thrift stores and have a bulging closet, this video was fantastic. I’m getting ready to consign and donate a bunch of things now because of this terrific video so I can downsize and not be overwhelmed with choices, many of which are not good choices.
Me too! And for every new thing I bring home, I try to find one thing in my closet that I can put in my donation bag for my next trip to the thrift store so my closet stays manageable.
this is the first time someone has mentioned this idea of fantasy self and it resonates so much with me and my shopping habits !!!! life changing moment right there
Fantasy self shopping isn’t just about clothes either! It’s everything from shampoo (this is the product that will finally work!) to arts/crafts to cars & furniture.
I was a super sale shopper for years and had the insane wardrobe to prove it. Every color of the rainbow was in there and I “never had anything to wear”. For the past couple years I’ve been taking note of what I don’t wear and have decluttered to the point where I realize that I like to LOOK at colors BUT I don’t like to wear them. Go figure. The wardrobe is now very neutral and I now buy WAY less but what I actually WANT and not just, “what is on the sale”. You always have such great tips. Thank you ❤
I had a super similar experience, wore a ton of colors and never felt happy until I stumbled into the goth scene and on top of finding exactly the type of music I've bed looking for, realized that I love wearing exclusively black! Now all my clothes are black and I couldn't be happier, and I passed my colorful clothes on to my sibling, who wears them much better than I ever did
I found that I love wearing color, just on my accessories, like my shoes, bag, or scarf. But I prefer autumn colors and soft cream rather than white, and I am not a fan of button downs! If it is too tight I can't be comfortable, I also avoid!
My tip for leather shoes is that if you work at an office, keep them at the office and wear while sitting at the desk, maybe walk to the meeting room, printer etc a few times. But dont wear them on your commute to and from the office. That way you can wear your more comfortable shoes once it gets bad. After doing this for almost a year I could gradually wear my nice office pumps for longer periods of time as they stretched out. Now I can wear them the whole day
These are great tips. The fantasy self tip resonated so much with me. I was unable to have children and finally had no choice but have a hysterectomy in late 2009. After I recovered, I began a total makeover regimen to get more fit, get a new hairstyle, and have a glamorous, fabulous lifestyle to compensate for what I’d lost. (Side note: I know there are other great ways to be a mom but it still was hard to accept.) I decided to buy LV and other $$$ bags, Louboutins and other designer shoes, pricey sunglasses, cashmere and more cashmere, trendy clothes, and other pricey items. I tried wearing them for a year and a half or so. Then, I went back to my regular style, which is comfortable, understated basics without much flash. The only thing I still love are the cashmere sweaters. I don’t walk well in heels, never have, and the CL’s not only tortured my feet, but I looked ridiculous trying to walk in them. Same for the other heels. I also have more boots than anyone should ever own and several have high heels. Some I still wear (the flats) but most are just not me. The monogrammed LV bags are beautifully made but just not me now. No shade to people who love theirs but they only remind me of a sad time in my life. I developed a chronic eye inflammation called uveitis and couldn’t wear contacts so, the sunglasses just gather dust. Tried having a pair made into a prescription pair but they are wonky. Could be the place that made them for me but I’m reluctant to try again - and most of them are more flashy than I prefer. I’ve sold some things like the bright red YSL 5-inch tribute sandals, but most of the other stuff is in a guest room closet. I’ve looked on eBay and the resell prices are so low. Yet, it would be better than having them just sit there - some never worn. At the end of 2023, I was diagnosed with MS and it is impossible for me to wear anything with a heel so, not only are the shoes not “me” now, I can’t wear any shoes with a heel unless I want to face plant on the cement. The wasted money, especially now that my future health is so uncertain, makes me nauseous and feeling so stupid. Buying things will never heal your heart or spirit. That took time… and lots of self work and many long conversations with my husband. Know thyself. Words of wisdom to live by!
With the "Too many basics" I experience the opposite; I have to many "interesting and/or colourful" items & then struggle to style them without looking silly 😅
Are you perhaps secretly a boho/hippie person? It’s ok to be conservative for work if you need to, but you can dress totally different in your private life.
@@heidimeigs5192 I don't really know what it means to be a secret hippie 😅 I _do_ however like dressing weirdly and don't shy away from this. It is just that I want to look good and organised, _in_ my weirdness ;)
I love dressing in loud/colorful things! If you want to unite these more without adding a ton of basics at once, maybe try: 1.Mixing patterns of varying sizes in similar colors on the color wheel, to give more "unity" (ex: all blue/white patterns, orange+red patterned pieces, green+purple, etc) 2.Add a solid-color top or bottom (neutral or vivid, up to you!) to mix with more statement pieces. I have a fitted black top that I wear with "weird"/oppinionated bottoms sometimes, makes dressing easier for me! 3. A shoe, bag, or jacket that matches at least one piece in your outfit to bring them into one unified outfit. Disclaimer: of course wear what makes you happiest, these are just some tricks I use for my own style. Have fun with clothes ❤🎉
This was me as a teenager and the "you'll have something to wear" was what's drew me in to minimalism. Then it became the opposite... "Where is the soul" in all these basics that i was wearing, how long do i build a foundation for? Some bright pieces were in my wardrobe when i decluttered and there are more being added, as well as interesting silhouettes. Moderation is key and strategically buying the weird stuff.
You can solve the majority of wardrobe issues by learning how to sew. For most people who have never tried this, this may seem an impossible task that takes too much time and energy, but if you have the will to learn a new skill, the results are life changing. There is hardly anything more satisfying than opening your closet with the knowledge that everything in it fits well, looks good, is in good condition and is comfortable.
You have to enjoy it to put in the time. When I sewed I always made things for others really quickly. When we were moving my parents, I actually found the cut out pieces of a velvet jacket that I had wanted but never completed.
Tbh I just wished tailors for casual modifications (not just to make that super formal fitted suit) were more of a normal thing. I think in some places it is too common to throw away clothes that have ripped somewhere or something and buy a new one instead of getting it fixed. Then tailors start to become more rare and expensive. It's a self-creating cycle, because the more expensive tailors are the more people will buy replacement clothes instead of taking the broken piece to the tailor. Then it is also too expensive to get an alteration for a ill-fitted piece.
I sew my own clothes. I would say for me personally it has taken me years to make some pieces that are things that are my everyday go to. Making clothes is a real labor of love and to make anything beyond a simple skirt or top requires a fair amount of knowledge and skill. I originally got into sewing because my body was not average and I got tired of things never fitting. if you put in the time and are ok with the learning curve and knowing just like store bought your going to spend hours making stuff and sometimes in the end it will not turn out well and you won’t wear it, a handmade wardrobe is great.
@@camilascatonebedin3002You can access a tailor or seamstress usually at your local dry cleaners, I’ve found. But you can’t expect them to “re-make” a garment that is ill-fitting. If it doesn’t fit you then it probably doesn’t fit your body shape in the first place. Learning what your body shape actually is and buying clothes that are closest to that body shape is the challenge. If you look at UA-cam channels talking about body shape - like Kibbe body shapes - might help you to determine what your shape is and what styles of clothes will look best on your shape so you can choose garments that will suit you and be closest to your shape. If you’ve got ill-fitting clothes then they probably aren’t a good “fit” for your body shape and you should just let them go. I’ve found that the best use of my money is to have a seamstress or tailor hem sleeves and garment length, repair holes and replace buttons. And they deserve an honest living wage. I make most of my own clothes, but if I happen to buy a coat or a pair of jeans (which I don’t make myself), I will go to a seamstress to have them hem those things. Life is too short to be hemming pants!
I recently just went shopping for clothes that would fit my body now and I couldn’t be happier. I finally got rid of the clothes that haven’t fit me since Covid 😅 nothing feels better than having a closet of clothes that fit you
The same with me. I'm 37 and for 37 years I hadn't been my ACTUAL self. Just a couple weeks ago I purchased the stuff that I really liked and they are not on sale. I spent quite huge amount of money but it made me so so happy that my style now has been the best decision. I gave the clothes that I think don't fit my style anymore to my sister in law and she's really grateful for that. And what I like even more, I knew that my good old pieces have come to the correct owner. She can take care of clothes. She's very neat and that's alone makes me feel better knowing not only my previous possession will be useful, but also taken care of wonderfully.
i'm in the same boat here! my partner had to talk to the salesperson for me because clothes shopping became something that made me really anxious/stressed but the salesperson was very calm and not pushy, and now i have about 3 new pairs of pants that 1) fit me and 2) that i LOVE! they have a perfect cut on so many colours so i want to get them in all my favourites :) and with what the previous commenter said i always pas my hand-me-downs to my sister since we're similar size and she is also very pedantic about taking care of her things so it's also nice knowing she's able to take care of her/formerly my clothes. it's always comforting seeing ppl in the comments and knowing there's always someone with the same experiences as you
I’ve recently lost 20 lbs and finally caved and bought new clothes. My old, but very nice clothing went to Goodwill. I hope someone will enjoy them. I love having clothes that fit. I refuse to “save old clothes in case I get fat again.” It’s a good incentive not to.
I've saved several itchy sweaters by soaking them with liquid fabric softener dissolved in tepid water. This has been especially helpful for Sezanne sweaters. I like them because most of them are slightly cropped which is good for my petite frame, but they often have a blend with mohair which can be itchy. Fabric softener really made them workable for me.
For wool, mohair or other animal fibers, soaking it in warm water with some hair conditioner can also soften it. Afterwards, roll the item up in a thick towel, and step on the towel to get the water out. Then unroll it and lay it flat to dry. That’s how I finish my hand knit or handwoven items.
It's interesting how the "shopping for your fantasy self" point resonates for so many people! I understand your point & I agree that if you end up not wearing them etc it's better not to buy them. But for me personally, it was the best decision ever to finally stop wearing my basic convenient every-day clothes and finally start living my fantasy. It took some effort at the beginning but it's the best feeling ever, I also worked on becoming the fantasy-self regarding my personality and habits. So yeah I guess either you have to start committing and overcoming some efforts at the beginning, or like you advised go into yourself and realise that's not actually who you want to be in real-life, but the in-between will always cost you money and thoughts
@@iwantabiscuitplz it's 11 months since my comment and i've already gotten soo much closer! and i keep being happier and happier with my style and overall. definitely need to work on my fantasy-self hair though haha cause it's LONG in my french vanilla fantasy
I totally agree with buying natural fabrics - cotton, linens, silks, wools. That's about it for me! I also sew, and that opens up a lot of possibilities!
I wear mostly natural fabrics. I am allergic to the Recycled Polyester/ or made out of plastic bottles fabrics ( I have the pictures of that horror) Just saying, buyer beware.
I so agree re jeans. Just because lots of other people have them in their "must haves" doesn't mean I have to. This was a very liberating part of your video for me. My fantasy self imagines I'll wear jeans, but my reality self finds them as comfortable as wearing cardboard.
A bit of spandex in denim makes jeans much more comfortable, and there are colors other than blue. That changed my mind, although I only have one pair at the moment. In the US, there are definitely occasions when jeans are more appropriate, like hockey games. ;)
@@ravent3016I also think it's time to reassess what is "appropriate" for certain events. Jeans just aren't comfortable for me. Leggings are a maybe, but I don't like restrictive clothing. I don't see why it can't be normal to wear a skirt to a hockey game. I wear them for hiking and camping, so why not for sports events too? I'd rather be comfortable.
Have you tried Japanese wide legs pants. You can play on the material depending on the occasion. Or japanese culottes. It's so comfortable. The chiffon ones are beautiful. Cotton linen for casual.
I hate jeans too. SO uncomfortable. Every now & then I would buy a pair in a different style &/or colour to try them out but I’ve realised I just don’t like wearing trousers, at all. Apart from the gym, I wear skirts & dresses for absolutely everything. I’m done caring what anyone thinks & I’m finally comfortable all the time… and so much happier 😊 👗
While listening to this I went to my closet and decluttered a retro cheetah print jumpsuit that I’ve worn maybe twice. If my aspirational self wants to wear it she can go pick it up at the thrift store.
i just recently threw out a lot of my old bras and went to bustiers with a racer back. no more wires, no more sliding down straps, no more annoying hooks! it's so liberating!
This time of year is my”wear it or donate”. Often when I make myself wear something I remember why I bought it. Sometimes I think “times up”. I will never wear it. In the spring I gave a large bag of clothes to a teen who had just been adopted. . She was so excited and kept almost everything. I am petite and smaller than most adults. I gave 8 pair of strappy sandals to a group who finds prom dresses for girls.
At my age I’ve learned to take care of my clothes so well that I get tired of wearing them after 5 to 10 years! Sometimes I even forget how long I have had them! The weight fluctuating is real and changes throughout your life! Plus the growing middle around menopause and post menopause. So my point is, they are clothes. Pass them on when you get tired of them. It’s okay, someone else needs them more then you do.
Tip for anyone with lots of random, cheap clothes in their closets - especially if you think they’re pieces no one would want from a thrift store: Use them as throw pillow stuffing! Stuff them, then put something heavy on top for a while, and it’ll flatten into a normal pillow shape, just heavier:) MollyMutt also makes dog beds you can stuff with old clothes/towels so your dog can smell you AND you can keep those items out of the landfill!
@@Jaiem_What's ew about it?.. if they're clean clothes that just don't fit but are not something that's necessarily in style anymore I think it's a great tip to recycle them.
Yes, I’m with you on synthetics. Though my ironing pile does grow sometimes, I really hate the feel of synthetics so much I would far rather iron than wear polyester. First thing I look at when looking for clothes is the label for fabric composition. Recycled polyester and all artificial I don’t even try on
Same here 😊 though I never had a huge wardrobe, over the last two or so years I‘ve been decluttering a lot, getting rid of things I just never wore - and of pretty much anything that had synthetic fabrics, including a blouse I had loved very much but couldn‘t really wear because I would always start sweating right away. Not worth it. It‘s such a petty synthetics are now so dominant in the fashion industry because they‘re cheap.
I’ve noticed synthetics sometimes creeping into a ‘premium’ range and not being cheaper at all. It’s getting really hard to find natural fibre clothing
@@anklu For the record, I took baths daily. However, I have a sweaty BO problem when it comes to synthetics. Damn pieces had me smelling like ass and damp like a swamp. Switched to 100% cotton shirts and 100% wool sweaters and never looked back 😊
Something I thought I wouldn’t struggle decluttering but have is my office clothes. I’m fully remote for work now and LOVE it, but I spent so many years curating and office wardrobe that I loved that it’s hard to let go of - but I don’t reach for those pieces anymore because I would much rather be comfy and professional at home than in a dress and tights all day. This was the reminder I needed that it’s okay to let go of that stuff!
There are some good videos out there on how to combine office pieces with more casual pieces. I also WFH mostly now, but have found ways to use a lot of my office wear when we go out, even to casual events. I wouldn't be too hasty in getting rid of your good quality office stuff. Those pieces can still be part of some fun modern looks when styled well.
You can take those office clothes and put them into storage so you don’t have them in the way but also they’re perfect for your office style and curated for you, so you can save yourself effort if you ever want/need to go into an office
Meeee too! I downsized in closet space and now work remotely as well. I kept some but only the solids. Got rid of a lot of prints other than stripes and polka dots. I got rid of a ton of uncomfortable heels and only kept wedges and sandals lol. I'm not going to wear a pump anywhere these days let's face it!
This is me too - I sold a lot of my formal businesswear and bags, which I used for 20 years, second-hand. Unfortunately, I still don’t have a good handle on an upscale business casual wardrobe, even three years in.
I discovered I need some of that office wear for funerals, and other business like gatherings that are not Jean and nice shirt compatible. So I'm hanging on to some office outfits that I'd let go of now if I were working daily in an office, but are still innfashion enough to pass for these occasions of life.
Story of how I once and for all realized my favorite style. I was hanging clean fresh beautiful laundry and I noticed that on one side of the hangers I was putting to dry my most loved (subconsciously) items, all in neutral yummy tones, all put neat in rows, while on the other side I was kinda throwing the iper colored clothes, red yellows, blue.. And I remember thinking: "If only my wardrobe was ALL like these ones.." and so it hit me. Since then, I discarded the super mega colours and everything is in neutral white caramel beige coffee cappuccino colors. I LOVE IT!!!!
Ive always shopped for classic looks but moved to another country that required yoh to dress in their culture. I had to have them special made. All were silks. Each piece can cost up to over a hundred dollars. After spending 8 years there in Laos, and moving after I i retired, I gave them all away plus all my western winter clothes since i mived to Thailand. It was a very tearful purge plus also many antique furniture but now I only wear beach dresses and recently started sewing my own wardrobe. Ive come full circle.
I went through a recent change with my color palette in my outfits where I added bright orchids, sapphire blues and purples due to my hair color change, going all silver. Its really fun to reach for new colors that arent beige, black and grey! of course now I feel better about wearing brighter lip colors and not always wearing my older neutrals as much. Its refreshing to bring something new to my closet.
On the topic of shapewear! I learned you don't need to buy shapewear that's mega tight I'd always hate it when I went to eat and I would be uncomfortable soon after or my guts would be squeezed and I would be uncomfortable in it before leaving the house. I actually started wearing shapewear a couple sizes bigger, it still smooths everything out but feels secure underneath and I absolutely love the feeling especially with dresses and skirts it's like wearing a skort and I feel so much better! Highly recommend!!
I will never own a blazer. But I live by my army style jacket. I would never be caught dead in a basic white tee, especially a v-neck. But I live by my basic peplum tops. Its been such a journey to realize my style, and to learn that "basics" has a different meaning for everyone :-)
I am with you. I cannot stand blazers or tee shirts. They just aren't me. Loafers fall in there as awell. I see them on other people, they look good. I put them on, look down and say' Nope'. 😅
I came into this thinking it wouldn't be very helpful because my fashion style is, miles apart in differences from yours, but this is actually universal fashion advice, so this was surprisingly helpful. Also, I think another piece of advice for wardrobes, is to actually wear your "nice clothes". Like you said get rid of "guilty" pieces, which is usually something expensive so you feel guilty having/wearing it, like it's for special occasions or must be kept pristine. So you could get rid of those things, or just learn to wear them as everyday clothing. Like who cares if you're wearing really nice clothes just to go to the grocery store, or get some McDonalds, or go for a walk, wear them like it's a regular piece of clothing. It makes you feel better about the piece, since you actually wear it, and it doesn't special treatment, and sure, it'll wear down eventually, everything does. It's like the same idea of using wedding china as regular dinner dishes, you know, using "the good stuff" as if it's ordinary. If you don't want to do that with a piece, get rid of it.
I had to laugh…. I live in a smaller, rural, Southern town. Practically everyone just wears jeans/leggins/ collage football team tees and sneakers. I do only wear jeans but I’ll pair them with a nice pr of loafers, a nice blazer/jacket and always have jewelry on. I hate that I do this but I shop at Walmart, and I frequently get the once over, or even a compliment about how nicely I’m dressed. 🤣🤣🤣. By all means don’t save what you consider your “nice or special” clothes. I’ve worn a pearl necklace with a white tee and long denim shirt. Treat yourself lovingly.
I couldn’t agree more with wearing your “good” clothes running errands. People ask me”where are you going dressed up?” . I just say going grocery shopping and running errands. I wear costume jewelry, brooches or flowers on my blazers and makeup/hair done by me. People especially women here in Southern California have” given up”. Like money ….you can’t take it with you!
@Bonnie_Mairead this is really relevant and useful advice for me, thank you. After years of bad mental health, I'm FINALLY at a spot where I'm decluttering my ratty old lumpy clothes and building a small and cute capsule wardrobe with clothes id always wanted to wear that I think would look nice on me. But there is a big hurdle. It's hard to break the habit of "this is too nice to wear today" or even worse, "I don't deserve this right now." I think your idea of just wearing these things and introducing them as regular pieces in day to day life, is perfect for that.
@@because-strudels Haha, been there done that! I'm glad my experiences can help you! I think I'm due for another closet purge of clothes I actually don't like at all (or never wear), it's a journey man. Proud of you for getting this far, it can be hard to let go of things and come to terms with stuff you own. But remember, you deserve to look nice, and feel great in the clothes you wear. You deserve having nice things too you know. Love yourself ♡♡♡ (easier said than done), but you're worth it!!! I've been redefining my wardrobe a bit recently, and I feel really great. It's a big mood shift when you wear clothes you feel amazing in. I think how you decide to present yourself is a reflection on how YOU see or feel about yourself. So now that I have less frumpy clothes, I feel a bit less ugly when I'm out and about. Having bad mental battles is a challenge, but looking great while doing it makes it ever slightly easier to get through lol. At least you know, you feel confident in how you look. Anyways, good luck, I know you can do it, don't give up! Sometimes it's just a little every day, or week. It doesn't have to be a one and done, it can be a process. Get that cute swag on friend!!! Love yourself, you're worth it!!! ♡♡♡
My most-regretted prices are items I bought online, especially second-hand items. In many cases, the items either didn’t fit quite right, the fabric didn’t feel good to me, or there was wear (ie scratched buttons, pilling, stretched shoulders, etc.), and I ended up reselling these items at a loss financially. I’ve resolved to stick to buying in person - one of your suggestions that I know is what works best for my shopping success.
My guilty one has been, for a while, having a lot of small items that didnt fit me anymore. I had always been slender and pretty fashion forward till I hit menopause, quit smoking and got a thyroid problem that made me gain weight (all about at the same time). So all of a sudden I found myself inside this strange body, too large for what I was used to. I kept smaller pieces telling myself that I'd just go back to my old self but that's just not doable. I had to get reacquainted with my body, buy new pieces and just learn to love and dress the body that I have now. I'm not completely there yet, but working on it. One big step was bagging all my old clothes for donation 😊
Even if you only put on five pounds it’s the loose skin you get as you age. My upper arms are huge now , even my arm pits need more space. I always had a tiny figure even after having four kids but now my stomach is finally showing it. I’m ok with it it’s just dealing with the new body and how to cover it all up .
A tip for anyone who finds the minimal wardrobes on socials too boring - a basic can be a print, it doesn’t need to be a block neutral! Examples: black and white striped tops (or navy and white), leopard or other animal prints, a floral print sun dress. Basics can also be textured! A block colour ribbed singlet, corduroy jeans in brown or black, a sheer black blouse, or eyelets/ lace white shirt. These can all mix with “standard” basics like blue or black jeans, or a tailored pant, a plain white tshirt etc. to make fun outfits
No to animal prints. It might be a favourite of some, but it’s not “basic”, it’s in fact very, very loud and will overpower whatever you pair it with, thus defeating the purpose of a capsule wardrobe.
@@worklifebalance2430 Animal print is a great basic! It contains very neutral colours and black, so pairs well with most other block neutrals and looks great with denim. It can also be great on a shoe! Capsule wardrobe is about being able to pair most or all of your pieces together so you own less pieces. I'll say that some animal print is quite brown, but there's lots of animal print which is grey or black and white.
I have NEVER been able to wear slides or mules, they just don't stay on my feet and are definitely a tripping hazard; I always feel like I could break an ankle when wearing them.
These are all so true. I would add that I never buy things that are final sale, no matter how good the deal is. I also don't shop at stores without a good return policy. Shopping provides a flood of endorphins so I need to be sure I actually like something after the new clothes feelings have worn off. Plus this gives me time to try stuff on for more than 1 minute to make sure it's comfortable, and to try it with what I already have.
I've watched so many videos about this issue.... how to clean out your closet, keep what you love, and have fun... But always ended up making the same mistakes. This makes so much more sense... I appreciate every point you made. And I can take your advice and make it personal. Finally I get how to do it!!! I love the guilty ones. Ugh pulling them out right now... Thanks again.
I agree with all 10 points, but thank you for separately addressing "guilty clothes". I have bought a beautiful silver silk shirt 2 years ago, which I wore ... ONCE. Not because it does not fit me or I don't know what to wear it or because it is not my style vibe. But because I always feel so afraid of staining it and ruining its appearance. This creates a "double guilt" in my mind because 1. I am afraid to wear it because of the reason I mentioned and 2. I feel guilty because I have ALREADY BOUGHT this item and spent some money, but it has become a placeholder in my wardrobe rather than a functional garment that I love and wear. Through this experience I realised that I am actually not a fan of luxurious fabrics, namely silk and cashmere (this aligns with point 8 "fussy clothes"). They are too delicate, are much fussier in terms of care and if I ruin them, I'll beat up myself more because of the lost investment and good quality garment. I don't want to have garments that guilt-trip me and become a burden. So now I stick to my silk-looking viscose pieces and merino wool and cotton sweaters:)
What if you thought of it as using it until it's damaged to justify the money you spent on it? Then after that decide if you want to make another investment in a similar replacement? I'm thinking at least then the silk shirt would have served its purpose.
@@joeychen3946 yes, that's probably what I am going to do in the end. the problem is I would still be beating up myself for damaging something something that could be passed even to the next generations😂 (silk pieces are super long-lasting if properly maintained)
@@alexviolettWow, you are a master at guilt tripping yourself. Don't do that. A silk blouse won't usually last long enough to pass on to future generations in any case unless it's never worn because the thin textile suffers wear and tear over time, as well as the thread that it's sewn with. We aren't talking about heavyweight suiting fabric or imperial robes. Having been a haunter of second hand shops for decades, I can tell you that most silk shirts that end up there have damage. Sweat stains, perfume spots, broken threads, etc.
@@edennis8578 omg, thank you so much for this comment! I'm actually really relieved to learn this! No plans for consigning my shirt yet, instead I should just wear it more👍🏻
My take is stuff us to be used, be it crockery, clothes, what ever. I used to keep 'good stuff' but now use it and if something happens it I smile and remember the uses. I broke a coffee pot I bought in Japan, 25 years ago. I wouldn't have the same memories if I hadn't used it. Wear the shirt and smile.
I'm the opposite with synthetics! I live in the Irish countryside and my high quality fleece is the best stuff for a quick wash and dry. Also it's rarely hot enough to sweat here
Love the black blazer at 12:05 and the white shirt at 12:07 😍 The dressing for the "Fantasy Self" - OMG!! I never knew this was a thing, and that anyone else had the same issue. It was how I always shopped, then the guilt of course. I used to joke that my clothes had a better life than I did, according to my head 🤣 I recently got back into clothes/trends after years of illness and other problems, but now I do wear the fantasy clothes because - I'm alive and I love looking amazing no matter where I go. For me now, it's just as easy to pull on a stylish bottom and a great top, or slip a dress over my head to run an errand as it is to pull on sweatpants and a t-shirt or other "non going out" clothes. Why not?! 🙌🏼
i always did shopping for my fantasy self, and i'll admit there would be clothes not worn for years, just hanging in the closet. but i gotta say, i did come around to wearing pretty much all of it eventually, once i had the confidence and guess it started to feel more authentic to wear. finally felt more like the actual me, who once was only a fantasy. so idk, i wouldn't give that up tbh
I love vintage clothes and dresses! Several years ago, I went to a vintage clothing store and purchased a bunch of pieces because they were cute when I tried them on. Actually wore some and discovered that I hate the feel of polyester and it makes me sweat. Also, it turns out I didn’t have a lot of opportunities to wear those clothes, anyway.
#10 a wardrobe "must-have" that I don't want to have: *WHITE trousers.* Anything white, actually. 😂 I get anxious if I wear white, I constantly worry if it already got dirty or stained at the back 😂
I got my period many years ago with white pants on. Never again. Plus the poster above pointed out that white pants really don’t look good on someone above a size 8 or less then 5’5” tall.
Fantasy self items! OMG...I thought it was only me!!! I am the person who has phases of buying clothes based on the series I am watching. Right now it is Peaky Blinders 😂
Love how sensible you’re being in here. I’ve not often heard that from other vloggers who like to focus instead on the appearance of clothes (which then turn out to cost $$$).
Decluttering is so important. It may seem boring…but there has to be physical space between your items so you can see what you have. If everything is shoved in, no wonder you don’t feel like you have nothing to wear. You can’t see it. You can’t see the forest for the trees. 🌳🌳🌳
I have real trouble with holding onto or buying things that I find unique and beautiful, even if they are not useful for ME in my actual everyday life. It’s almost like I’m curating an art gallery 😅 so I end up with all these beautiful /vintage things I can’t really wear but love looking at… I need to learn to appreciate them without having the need to bring them home …. I need help 🙈
I've been doing this for yearssss, once I realized what I was doing it was a little easier to take a step back. I thought about how the item would just sit in my closet without being appreciated, and would say to myself "someone else could enjoy this more than me." Maybe you could try the item on in the store and take a picture to remember it instead of buying?
@@skedaddlebaker unless you treat it like collecting art 🤔 and make a display, like a mannequin that you change the clothes on every week 😂😂 I’m just trying to find excuses
I had the same problem with vintage items, and I solved it with clothing exchanges with a group of friends. I came away with some fun accessories, and my "treasures" found good homes.
I think you're a collector. Many others collect much weirder things that are seemingly useless to others. As long as they make you happy, and you take good care of them, one day you can maybe even earn money from them when they become vintage
I have lived in pure wool home-made trousers for 40 years. They don't get dry-cleaned because I pre-shrink the wool before I cut them out, so I can hand wash them without shrinkage. I am not a fan of polyester or nylon, but I have to admit that up to 20% of these synthetics, in an otherwise pure wool fabric, is actually an improvement. Pure wool bags with wearing, like denim does, and the addition of the synthetic, reduces that bagging. I notice that the label of my favourite denim jeans says: 62% cotton, 36% polyester, 2% spandex.
I admire your dedication to the sewing arts. I'm trying to get to 100% me made wardrobe, but the learning curves of fitting and sewing / tailoring techniques are steep and can be expensive.
These are actually amazing tips. I've already came up with most of these "rules" for myself. I'm so glad that someone on UA-cam points out the importance of comfort!!!! You won't wear anything that makes you miserable the whole day.
I agree. Many people just buy those items because they’re younger or wear it when they go to a party. But for older or bigger sized people they would only buy things that are big enough and comfortable.
Brilliant informative video... Yes ditch the unwanted sales items because if they are reduced sale items it because nobody really wants them. I'm 74 this year so I've finally realised ..... Time to buy fewer and better quality item's.. And wear them!! Thankyou for your inspiration xxx
So happy that someone finally says what I've been saying all along about these "basics"/must haves. I never ever wear blue jeans. I don't like the colour blue so why would I force myself to pay for that and to wear them. And I only wear blouses to funerals. My go to basics are black long sleeve t-shirts and black leggings. They work for 9 months of the year where I live. I wear them underneath my zip up hoodies/pants.
I just recently watched this video, I really love your explanation on why having to many items in your closet and feeling like you have nothing to wear is really frustrating. That was my closet, it was bursting out at the seams, I was so frustrated, I had so much clothes, but couldn’t make a outfit. That is when I began my journey on finding out why that was. I stumbled across what a capsule closet is, though I didn’t think I could be that minimalistic, it made sense to me. I began purging my closet, it was very difficult because so many of my clothes were brand new with the tags still on them, very cute styles, but I had no desire to wear them. As I continued to purge my closet, I began feeling better because I could actually see the clothes I was constantly wearing, they were not hidden anymore. My closet was full of trends and no basics to make outfits with. As I added in those basics in, it was amazing, I could actually make a lot of outfits to wear. I am discovering in detail what my design style is, but I haven’t really honed in on it yet. I think my Dream self, who I thought I was, has now changed. I think it is because I am getting older and no longer feel like I used to. So I am still finding out what my Dream Style inner person is, I am still evolving. I have made purchases like you said, feeling guilty about spending so much money on the item. I have found a solution to help me in the process of finding my Design Style. It is helping me save money. It might not be the best solution, but this is what I am doing. When I purchase a item I think I need for my new capsule closet, I leave the price tags on the item. If I find that I am not reaching for that item in a two week period, and or feeling a little different about it, I just simply return it. It may take extra time on my part, but it is saving my pocket book. I love all of your suggestions. Susan 😉
Very insightful points. Thanks for a great video. I'm realising that my wardrobe is filled with "date outfits" but I never go on dates!!! so that's a large FANTASY category for me!! Lol
Same, hahah. Aaahh. For me it’s dresses and skirts. Especially skirts, I can never figure out what tops and shoes to wear with them, so I’ve given up. I’m trying to limit my dresses because I know I only wear them once or twice a year! 🤪 But I love how they look on other people…
Videos like this always serve as a good reminder for me to edit my wardrobe in a way that makes me feel good about myself. Style is never something that should be put into a box, so for that, I'd say that comfort is definitely becoming more of a priority for me now and I never want to compromise on that. Thanks for sharing your own insights on the matter, Christina!
really appreciate you normalizing regret as something that just happens and not something to feel stupid about. we live and learn and make better (for us) choices next time ☺️🙏🏽🐣👗
I usually get so upset with these types of videos but for some reason your videos make so much sense and don’t make me regret even trying to declutter my closet. Because why was I shopping like I’m an Insta baddie when I dress like a librarian??? 😂
👗 great advice. 😊 Re: synthetics - when I put on anything made entirely of drapey, slinky polyester I think how can a fabric be so conflicting? Too hot but strangely too cold. Very slinky but also too wrong and creepy against my skin. 😂😂😂 feels like fingernails on a chalkboard.
Yes!! I agree with you 100%. It's cold until you wear it for 5 minutes then it's extra hot. I live in an extremely hot & humid climate and I don't understand how anyone can wear 100% polyester work blouses here unless they run cold all the time. It's getting so hard to find clothes that don't contain polyester. Any brands you have found with more natural fibers?
I love novelty socks (think holiday socks) but they make me ITCH, especially if there are metallic threads. I need to face it and buy plain cotton or wool blend socks for winter
This is great, practical advice. I hadn’t considered packing away clothes that are tight - rather than staring at them hoping they’ll fit somehow or having to shove them aside every day to get to the few things that fit.
Oh, Christina- perfecting wardrobes one video at a time! I gleaned so much from this, even years after editing my closet. Removing synthetics was my first win. Admitting that I looked less than best in black and gray was the next step, even though all the 'must have' lists include them as you mentioned. Keep up your excellent work!
Every “fashion expert” says you must have a pencil skirt, a white button down and a trench coat. My own mother gave me this same advice. I don’t look good in any of these things! Your “fantasy self” comments really struck me, as I love fancy clothes. I don’t buy these any more, because as /I always ask myself “where do you think you’re going?” I’m very fortunate to know how to sew, and I make a lot of my own things to suit my frame and personal style.
I agree with all of these. There were many times I bought a basic item to replace a damaged one or to build a capsule wardrobe, but it wasn’t exactly the right cut or fabric for me… Then I developed a rule that if I don’t love it I don’t buy it.
Thank you Christina! You are giving me permission to get rid of some of my more expensive items due to all of these issues. I’ve been grappling with these issues for awhile without any clear answer. You are very right, I never grab uncomfortable clothes. I’m very wool reactive and as much as wool sweaters are an “it” item, they are so uncomfortable for me. I’m getting rid of them, someone will want them.
👗 great list, especially the part about recognizing your own foundational must-haves as opposed to the generic "everyone sgould own" lists. I do think that is something I have gotten better at with age. My wardrobe issue the last few years has been coming to terms with the fact that there is no "finished" version of a wardrobe for me. I have all I currently need, but those needs will continue to shift as I go through different life stages, so I have had to let go of the idea that my wardrobe will ever be complete, and recognize that editing and adding a few new pieces here and there are necessary activities, not something that has to be avoided.
Clothes do wear out, too, especially if they get worn and washed a lot, even if they are sturdy and well-made. Eventually even basics have to be replaced!
I love what you said about each of our basics being different. It might be a white tee for someone but then another person it could be a distressed concert tee. Love that so much.
Love this advice! I recently went through a phase where I realized, I have adult money now, and I can buy tall clothes that fit my long arms and legs online. No more high water pants or sleeves I have to roll up. It's fantastic putting something on knowing it will fit!!
Awesome list! I am trying to let go of anything I feel frumpy in. I find myself saying I can wear that around the house, but I think it is time to let go of pieces that just don’t work.
One helpful note about shoes. If they're very expensive, sometimes a leather worker can stretch them ever so slightly for you and they'll stop hurting. It won't work with shoes that are genuinely too small, but, if just one of the straps of a sandal is digging in, you can ask if it's worth a shot. That said, I have taken to buying the same shoes and sandals perpetually because they accommodate my wide feet and look good. I rule out everything else for health and safety now and play with other aspects of my wardrobe.
👗 I decluttered a lot of hand-me-downs that sometimes made me feel guilty. They were super high quality and often expensive…they just didn’t flatter me.
Oh "Shopping for my fantasy self " sounded so real fo me it was always a mix of this or this time i "try something new" and it was not me as you said. and also I "need something for this and that "liKe events; weddings e.g. BUT NEVER get worne out side of this events. why ? because they are useless on a day to day base. but I also like how you said Spicing it up is important too. something that helped me was also "shopping" in my own closet before i buy something new.
I dont have any shirts, no blazers and no white tshirts in my capsule wardrobe. Works for me and I have the smallest wardrobe amount Ive ever had, but it all brings me joy and is so mix/matchable 🎉
One thing that really helped me was analyze the things I was actually giving away. For example: gonna donate this pair of black jeans bc they’re too short on me and I wish they were longer. So now, when buying I look for longer pants, bc I think they fit me better, and also know I need some long black jeans to replace the ones I gave away. Another example: gonna donate this sweater bc is too loose on me. It means I gotta go for something a little more fitted. Or if I donate something because I have a lot of similar pieces, don’t need to get more. Also, when getting dressed take note of the missing pieces, if you think that leather boots would look awesome on that outfit, write it down, and in another moment you can come back to that list and see if those items would fit well in your style. It’s pretty obvious but it might help someone.
I'm a sweaty sweaty betty, so synthetics and even some cottons are a no go for me! Ive recently started using wool and linen fabric activewear, the moisture wicking effect keeps my skin breathing, dry and happy, and its naturally antibac so i only need to wash after really sweaty workouts. Dilling is a brilliant brand for this :) I would love a cotton lining blazer, but they are a rare breed, do you talk about yours in another video?
My tibi blazers are lined with majority cotton! I’ve gotten mine off the real real and when she has her sales - the seasonal colored blazers usually go on sale for an excellent price for the quality in January/June!
Me too! Merino wool underwear is a game changer. Not as ‘sturdy’ and long lasting as cotton but excellent for staying cool and dry. I never exercise in anything else now.
👗Thanks! So many obvious things I should kick out of my closet but just haven't--your encouragement to make my wardrobe one that doesn't hurt me, make me sweat, make me itch, make me uncomfortable, etc., wow . . . just what I needed
Agree with all of your tips! Did a massive decluttering of those things that don't fit, don't wear and it was great having room in my closet and drawers. The only thing I would add is when you find an item of clothing you like, do not buy it in every single color. I have done this and when you find that you really don't like it, you have 2, 3, 4 times the amount to get rid of. My biggest regret stuff is anything that is bedazzled with stones or rivets...those get worn one or two times max.
completely agree with this ! a year ago I found the perfect fitting pants, I bought them in every color, only to realise that they're made of a poly/cotton blend that holds onto odors. Will never make the same mistake again !
👗 Facing the rea!ity that I have a Fantasy Self has been an eye opener. It so explains the random pieces bought in the past that are so incongruent with my daily life. I am going to let go of these items and embrace my simple fantastic style insfead of my fantasy style. I enjoy your content!
👗 No to impractical, fussy, and uncomfortable clothing! I also avoid knits that require a smoothing garment. Those are most likely on the regret list. Great video!
Hi, 👗 The shopping for your fantasy self is so true and never heard this from anyone else before! I am guilty buying blazers and blouses- when I think of myself I see an elegant minimalist decent woman. But the truth is that I don’t wear them at all- never get the chance- just taking up place in my wardrobe. I am jeans+ T-shirt woman in everydays.. sad but true 😄
Very useful information and not overly discussed. I found myself looking back in my mind at a lot of purchases that fit into the descriptions you gave for things we eventually en up discarding after shuffling them around for a while and I have also been that guy who has too many basics cause it is just easy.
I've learned I don't like blazers and they are almost a fantasy self item for me. I buy them thinking they will work for lots of occasions and then I realise they restrict my movement and end up taking them off. Plus most blazers aren't cut for petite frames so I always feel overwhelmed in fabric.
I also had the issue of not finding a blazer that fitted my petite frame, but after many try-ons, I finally found a specific style that actually looked good on me! So now I have the same blazer in 3 different colors. I do agree that they restict movement, so I don't wear them every day.
Same here. Love the look of slim jeans with a colored blazer, but way too restrictive and usually too warm for me. My better choice was to go with open front cardigan sweaters. I have about 15 in my closet (too many, I know); including black and white, both in several different weights, and an assortment of colors and patterns. I layer them over a tank or tee and feel just a little more put-together.
My current Chelsea boots need replacing and my plan was to get a pair of Blundstone (square toe) boots but oh my goodness, they hurt so bad. I thought about pushing through to break them in but I could tell it wasn’t going to end well. Hadn’t worn them outside so back they went.
Since I haven't been a teenager in eons, I started to declutter my mini me outfits. The same goes for super tight shoes and dance shoes that I will never wear or squeeze into again. Either I donate to thrift stores or give to dance studios.
You made my day! Even in my twenties, I ran warm. I had to be very careful about my work clothings composition. Definitely cotton, rayon are my first go toos. And nylon for workout wear.
This video was fantastic. Totally made sense and "fantasy self" was one topic that rang true for me. I just decluttered my closet and footwear and am being very choosy about rebuilding it. I'm looking forward to more of your videos! 👗💛
I love every single thing in my wardrobe. The minute I realize I made a poor choice I get rid of it, but it's rare. I know my style, know what I love to wear - including shoes and accessories. It was not always this way. I had this problem when I was younger and often regretted a purchase. When you begin to come into your own fashion style, you have far fewer regrets.
👗 Thank you for your videos! ✨ An item that is on a lot of ‘must have’ lists that i can’t do is a motorcycle jacket. I tried, it just isn’t me. I felt so silly in it. Had to return.
I had to let my cowboy boots go. They were unbelievably comfortable but I felt like I was in costume when every time I left the house in them. . 2 pairs went bye bye 8 years ago and I’m still missing them.
Totally agree with everything you said in this video! Especially no.4!! I have reached that age where I can only wear natural fabrics (hot flushes etc). I have gradually been replacing ALL my fabrics to natural ones! Yes, it is expensive to do so and the way you have to care for the fabric's is different but to tell you the truth they look better than synthetic ones and last much longer! Great video, lots of good information!
@deniseharwood9521 my hot flashes subsided to night time only within 4 yrs, and so I never returned to flannel nightgowns. I didn't take any hormone supplements, which do extend them.
For me, unlike maybe most people, I am not a blue denim person. Really contented when I realised this fact. Black denim or some of the great coloured denims are me. Definitely part of my basics.
👗 I just did my first big declutter after finding your channel, and so many of the things I removed fit into these categories. I got rid of so many pairs of uncomfortable shoes, fantasy-self items, scratchy annoying pieces, and anything else that wasn’t a “hell yes” when I wore it
✨Time Stamps👗:
0:00 Intro
1) 1:15 Too Small
2) 2:49 Unconfortable Shoes
3) 3:57 Itchy
4) 4:32 Majority Synthetic
5) 6:30 Bad Underwear
6) 7:24 Guilty Clothes
7) 8:32 Fantasy Self Items
8) 9:57 Fussy Items
9) 10:38 Too Many Basics
10) 13:10 Wardrobe “Must-Haves”
Thank you for the time stamp summary! 😍😍
@@ChristinamychasThank you for the amazing tips 😚⭐️
,👗
Thank you!
Thank you
The "shopping for your fantasy self" is so real and I've never heard of that before. Definitely a very helpful thing to hear/realize!
I want to be a super polished person but I’m not. I’m more of a tee, khakis and blazer girl.
I think that advice is not applicable for me. I never got to discover what I like due to poverty and once I start working (even though I am 24) I will start experimenting to see what works. So I think that sometimes it is fine to buy for your fantasy self.
Agreed, same here.@@Kiki-vc1xo
@@Kiki-vc1xo - That makes sense. You don’t know who you are or want to be without experimentation.
Shiiii i feel called out for my pinterest delusion
For me it’s:
- things that need to be ironed. no.
- things that are really stressful in terms of picking up stains. A white coat is beautiful but a bad idea.
- diddy little handbags. If it can’t hold a book and a bottle of water it’s not useful.
- and then it’s just reminding myself which shapes don’t & will never look right on me. Certain shoulders, necklines, trouser shapes… Just because I can doesn’t mean I should.
Yes to the iron and stain part! I have this beautiful white fluffy sweater that I never wore because I'm afraid I'll get stains on it.
@@anna-lenab8343 I'm the same with clothes that I'll have to hand wash, I have all these nice tops that I could be wearing (and I do like them) but the thought of having to hand wash them later is just, nope!
@@frangipanisandgirlif you’re not wearing them you could try just machine washing them to see what happens. It’s usually the drying that causes issues so if you can handle line drying them it would help! A lot of items that say dry clean only can actually be washed as well. The manufacturer just doesn’t want to take a risk so they recommend the safest but not the only possible washing option.
I have several delicate pieces that I sort by lights vs. darks and then put each one in a garment bag and wash on the hand wash cycle in my machine (one dark load, one light load). Then I lay flat to dry and iron if needed. It’s admittedly higher maintenance but for me it has been worth it since I adore those pieces and the natural fibers they’re made of. That said, when my kids were younger and I worked long hours all the time I was not up for that, and my MIL who is retired has never been up for it.
I always avoided "dry clean only" clothes, but then I bought one of those dry clean bags so I could just pop those things in the dryer. Opened up some wonderful options! :) I still don't wash or wear them that often, but thats mostly cause they're pretty fancy. I love them enough that I'm really happy with them.
A game changer for me was also getting rid of clothes I USED TO love. Like frumpy shirts I wore constantly when I was less confident. Or stereotypical business casual shirts I wore to make myself feel more mature but now I never wear to work as an actual adult. I remember it being an essential, but when I try it on I find out that's past me and not current me talking
It was super liberating to get rid of every single button down shirt. I only wore them to work to make myself look older my first few years as a teacher and always felt like I was wearing a costume.
@ccheyenne literally same! I used to feel like I had to super over compensate so no one would confuse me for a student! I hate button downs though, it was annoying 😷
That’s my favourite part about decluttering, as it’s so interesting to see how much you’ve changed, even in a small amount of time.
Agreed. When I was in college I was so anxious and so self concious, I didn't want to be percieved at all. I basically lived in black hoodies. I managed to gain a tiny bit of self confidence once I left and started rediscovering my personal style. And I realised I really, really love bright colours. As much as it was hard to get rid of my black hoodies, it was a much needed farewell. That wasn't me anymore.
Same. I took out many clothes I used to wear a lot. I grow old and looking for more mature adult representation. I can feel and hear my inner self says yes to that 😂
I feel like sticking to certain colors was a huge help to me. That simple rule alone has prevented me from buying soo many trendy items that i'll literally never wear. It's just like an instant filter that saves you.
I agree with you. I don’t think I have anything in my closet/drawers that can only be worn with a certain other piece. I happen to like the classic basic neutral colors. I’ve had to adjust some of them because I’ve let my hair go salt/pepper or steel gray, and I’m rarely out in the sun every single summer like when I was young. I had never really thought about adjusting my clothing colors as I aged, until I stopped coloring my hair. If you’re young(I’m already 66) be prepared to adjust as you get older. 👍🏻
Agree. When I was working, I had a firm rule: Black, white, gray, blue (navy), beige/tan. Add a little color with red shirt or skirt; or maybe a yellow blouse. Occasional forays into other colors, but usually regretted spending the money. Made getting dressed a piece of cake.
@@heidimeigs5192 So true. I let my hair go grey and none of my favorites colors looked right anymore, so I added the lightest shade of blonde and now I am happy again.
I stick to my color palette, all blues, some jewel tone greens, all reds, some purple/ violets, black,Grey, beige, white. Notice this is all on one side of the color wheel. Bonus, I can wear all combinations, so easy.
I literally wear all the earthy colors (like browns, dark muted greens, dark reds and a whole lot of black to gray stuff)
I have a few select bright pices (like my favourure mustard yellow sweater) plus some summer clothing in a lighter palette since wearing dark colors would be a suicide
Moving out really helped me to nail down things that arent fitting enough to try and cram in my luggage, therefore i had to take my most worn and most preferred clothes
i really appreciate how you put pictures of actually diverse body types when you give examples!!!
So do I!
Me, too!
Also, clothes that have bad memories! If you wore it during a breakup, when you got in a car accident, when you experienced an embarrassing moment, definitely get rid of it. No need to be reminded of trauma every time you open your closet and those bad vibes should not be attached to you!!
Good idea! That’s why I eliminated my clothes from high school (I hated high school so much, especially the social part) and my ill-fated relationship. They reminded of my unhappy days, so I had to let them go. My clothes from high school were out of style and those from my relationship were frumpy anyway (and too big for me since I lost weight afterwards).
A friend gave me a dress that I liked. Then she tried to go after my husband. That dress is gone!
Or went to a funeral in
I was given a beautiful hand me down dress as a child. I absolutely loved how it looked and wanted to wear it. However, every time I put it on, I felt an overwhelming sense of dread & very very icky. It was like something awful was attached to it. Like something bad happened to the child while wearing it. I never wore that dress. I believe things definitely carry energy.
Yaa, I can't stand most of my clothes anymore because I was depressed and wore them all that years.
I want to add "clothes that look good on you but aren't really your style." Like, there's so much in my closet that I bought just because I looked really good in them, but I never wore them because it never felt like it was me.
I have the body type that can wear almost anything. I do not have the lifestyle to have anywhere to wear them TO however. Therefore my closet reflects the latter.
Yes!! I actually had that experience about a year ago. I tried on a dress and I actually really loved it. It fit well, it looked good . . . But it was definitely not the style I usually wear, and I couldn't see myself going towards the style the dress was. I stared at myself for a long time, and finally asked myself, "Okay, yeah, this looks good. But are you actually going to ever *wear* it??" And the answer was no, so I put it back.
also the fact that "me" changes with time. i cringe whenever i look back at my teenage years and the clothing i used to wear...
This is why I don't wear a lot of tshirts. I hate crew necks... There's a few tops/dresses to need to alter because of the neckline or fit
Looks good but feels uncomfortable. Yes! I won’t wear it. But my main problem is I’m petite. Even petite sizes aren’t petite enough, and a top looks like a tunic, or even a dress!
As someone who knits, crochets and sews myself, i feel like i need to say that it is totally okay to not wanting to wear what you have created. (I might need this comment to tell myself again too). Sometimes projects go wrong or you'll realise after you have ruined 3 perfectly good selfmade sweaters because you've accidently washed them too hot, that you didnt create a piece for yourself but maybe for someone else around you, who is willing to give that piece the attention it deserves! Not to mention who is willing to spend some extra time and care to keep the piece in the condition it was originally in. To all crafters: its okay to not love the piece you've made and to sell, swap or just hand it to someone else.
I also crochet and I agree with you, I end up unpicking something and use the yarn for something else,I know that’s time consuming but I love crocheting and I make things up fast so for me it works. I now have lots of blankets lol 😂
Totally with you in this. Last year I made a cute purple vest I have never worn because I have nothing to style it with and I just don’t want to add anything to my wardrobe only to be able to wear something that’s not me. I tried and tried, but I don’t feel it. Currently thinking how can I get rid of it without just throwing it away.
Thank you for your message! I sewed two pieces of clothing that i don’t really love so much and i feel so bad about it. The third item i made was already a bit better. Now i am making my fourth piece, a skirt, which I’m really loving how it is turning out!!
You're so right! I remember the first sweater I knitted, it looked pretty good but it took me so long to make it that by the time I finished I was sick of it hahahah I ended up gifting it to a friend
I sewed all my shirts for the longest time. I took extraordinary care in design, fabric selection, fabric choice, and construction details.
I think your “don’t buy basic ‘must-haves’” advice just changed my entire outlook on t-shirts. Because I DON’T like plain solid color shirts, but I buy a lot of concert and festival t-shirts, and I always feel kinda guilty about it, because I’m not generally a tshirt wearer. But I wear them a lot on low energy days when I still wanna look polished at work, because they pair very well with a pencil skirt.
I wear both white tees and graphic print/rock band tees. They look great with a medium-to-dark wash straight leg jean, a great blazer or shorter “lady jacket”.
After I phased out of that time of my life, I made a quilt out of them!
😉Wore collared cashmere polos & crew neck cotton tees & tanks under my skirt suits BEFORE it was popular. 😳Silky blouses & traditional button ups never quite suited me. The former felt too fussy, & the latter never quite fit my extreme hour-glass⌛️shape right🥺.
😊Nowadays, love wearing a 🧢baseball cap, concert tee or sassy graphic tee w/a pencil skirt & sneakers out for a day date, lunch, or museum visit. Both would've been far too daring during my corporate hey day working for a Fortune 500 entertainment company. I would've been sent home🏡 in disgrace to change.
💚Bridget from Cali☘️
(using my pal's YT acct)
I think regular white T-shirts look sloppy, and I wouldn't be caught dead in them.
They also look brilliant with a check or plaid blazer, or a tweed. Alexa Chung vibes.
It really irritates me when I buy clothes that fit initially then after a wash they shrink, wasting hard earned money so annoying!
I have never had an item shrink. And i dont wear polyester etc.
I always wash my clothes in cold water. It really helps keep them from shrinking and it keeps the colors from fading
I have a long torso. I have had multiple tops that have shrunk up and no longer fit my torso. I'm a much savvier shopper now!
I had that with pricey viscose blouses. Shrunk two sizes, even though I strechted them after every cold wash...
Not only shrinking clothes, mine is the waste of money that a clothing becomes when you realise nature also loves these "natural sustainable" fibers... For food.
High heels… i live in The Netherlands and the streets are made of cobblestones.. every pointy heel gets stuck. Once i even lost my train because my heel got stuck and the cobblestone wouldn’t give it back 😅
Amsterdam is my favourite city! And I’m with you on high heels!
@@Christinamychas you should visit soon 🥰
I love the look of heels and how I feel wearing them. But I live in a walking city, and they hurt my feet. Sigh….
Haha same Raquel. Once tried to walk 100 meters to the cinema and kept walking while my pump got stuck 😂 A group of guys behind me brought me the shoe and I couldn't stop laughing while having my Cinderella moment 😅
@@riannevandenberg58 🤣🤣🤣 yesss!! Now i have a collection of heels that I don’t know what to do with them. I really love them, but can’t really wear them. And I don’t want to get rid of them..
I really loved that you pointed out that the "must have items" are different wardrobe to wardrobe. I can't stand blazers and almost never wear a classic button up so I always felt like I have a false capsule but indeed those clothes didn't belong in my wardrobe and that's perfectly ok
This was my favorite part of the video too! I see a lot of videos and influencers advocating for essential jeans, but it’s my least favorite clothing. Staple pieces should vary depending on the person and their lifestyle.
@@_xiosa It makes me happy to know that I am not the only one 😊
Indeed! It really depends on your lifestyle, and where you are in your life journey, too. I'm currently semi-retired, work part-time from home and part-time for a tiny little church. I have no need of an extensive 'career wardrobe' now; just a few basics to look decent in Zoom calls and if someone drops by the church during office hours. The rest of the time, a fun casual wardrobe is fine.
@@karlarose536 Me too! And thankfully church office wardrobe is definitely not the same as "career" wardrobe.
@@_xiosaThis! Essential jeans... what if my perfect wardrobe contains no jeans? I just plain don't like wearing pants, but I keep being told I need them for a versatile wardrobe. I have to be realistic, skirts and dresses are a better choice for me. They're more comfortable and are better suited to my body's needs. It might not be for everyone, but it works for me.
I don’t plan on buying anything but I never get tired of watching these type of clothing videos. They are just clean and pleasant
lmao yeah I don't really learn anything from them but they're still satisfying.
Me!
👗 All so true! I am guilty of stockpiling basics when they are on sale-like buying 8 black tee shirts-and saying I’ll wear 4 until they fade/lose shape, then pull out the other 4. But I ALWAYS pull out the other ones too soon (haven’t done laundry, etc) so then I have 8 tshirts all wearing out at the same time. 😆😩
As someone addicted to overbuying great clothes I find at thrift stores and have a bulging closet, this video was fantastic. I’m getting ready to consign and donate a bunch of things now because of this terrific video so I can downsize and not be overwhelmed with choices, many of which are not good choices.
Exactly me!! Charity shops in UK... can't resist a bargain but I've now got a load of "clutter". So not reaĺy a bargain.xx
Me too! And for every new thing I bring home, I try to find one thing in my closet that I can put in my donation bag for my next trip to the thrift store so my closet stays manageable.
this is the first time someone has mentioned this idea of fantasy self and it resonates so much with me and my shopping habits !!!! life changing moment right there
Yessss!!! I feel like I'm always shopping for my fantasy self and I need to stop haha
Hannah Louise Poston talks a lot about it! I’d recommend her channel - especially her no/low buy series
Fantasy self shopping isn’t just about clothes either! It’s everything from shampoo (this is the product that will finally work!) to arts/crafts to cars & furniture.
Many stylists do talk about it, they just don't use that term.
I was a super sale shopper for years and had the insane wardrobe to prove it. Every color of the rainbow was in there and I “never had anything to wear”. For the past couple years I’ve been taking note of what I don’t wear and have decluttered to the point where I realize that I like to LOOK at colors BUT I don’t like to wear them. Go figure. The wardrobe is now very neutral and I now buy WAY less but what I actually WANT and not just, “what is on the sale”. You always have such great tips. Thank you ❤
I had a super similar experience, wore a ton of colors and never felt happy until I stumbled into the goth scene and on top of finding exactly the type of music I've bed looking for, realized that I love wearing exclusively black! Now all my clothes are black and I couldn't be happier, and I passed my colorful clothes on to my sibling, who wears them much better than I ever did
Same here, my wardrobe is now pretty neutral now, but I express my love of colour with nail polish and other small accessories.
I found that I love wearing color, just on my accessories, like my shoes, bag, or scarf. But I prefer autumn colors and soft cream rather than white, and I am not a fan of button downs! If it is too tight I can't be comfortable, I also avoid!
👗
Don't forget to put rainbow colors in your curtains, table cloth, bedcover, wherever - it makes you fell fine probably 🙂
My tip for leather shoes is that if you work at an office, keep them at the office and wear while sitting at the desk, maybe walk to the meeting room, printer etc a few times. But dont wear them on your commute to and from the office. That way you can wear your more comfortable shoes once it gets bad. After doing this for almost a year I could gradually wear my nice office pumps for longer periods of time as they stretched out. Now I can wear them the whole day
This is a really useful point. I always have two pairs in my locker. Ankle boots and Mary Janes. It works a treat.
These are great tips. The fantasy self tip resonated so much with me.
I was unable to have children and finally had no choice but have a hysterectomy in late 2009. After I recovered, I began a total makeover regimen to get more fit, get a new hairstyle, and have a glamorous, fabulous lifestyle to compensate for what I’d lost. (Side note: I know there are other great ways to be a mom but it still was hard to accept.)
I decided to buy LV and other $$$ bags, Louboutins and other designer shoes, pricey sunglasses, cashmere and more cashmere, trendy clothes, and other pricey items. I tried wearing them for a year and a half or so. Then, I went back to my regular style, which is comfortable, understated basics without much flash.
The only thing I still love are the cashmere sweaters.
I don’t walk well in heels, never have, and the CL’s not only tortured my feet, but I looked ridiculous trying to walk in them. Same for the other heels. I also have more boots than anyone should ever own and several have high heels. Some I still wear (the flats) but most are just not me.
The monogrammed LV bags are beautifully made but just not me now. No shade to people who love theirs but they only remind me of a sad time in my life.
I developed a chronic eye inflammation called uveitis and couldn’t wear contacts so, the sunglasses just gather
dust. Tried having a pair made into a prescription pair but they are wonky. Could be the place that made them for me but I’m reluctant to try again - and most of them are more flashy than I prefer.
I’ve sold some things like the bright red YSL 5-inch tribute sandals, but most of the other stuff is in a guest room closet. I’ve looked on eBay and the resell prices are so low. Yet, it would be better than having them just sit there - some never worn.
At the end of 2023, I was diagnosed with MS and it is impossible for me to wear anything with a heel so, not only are the shoes not “me” now, I can’t wear any shoes with a heel unless I want to face plant on the cement. The wasted money, especially now that my future health is so uncertain, makes me nauseous and feeling so stupid.
Buying things will never heal your heart or spirit. That took time… and lots of self work and many long conversations with my husband.
Know thyself. Words of wisdom to live by!
I read all of your comment. Hope you are doing well, and that it somehow helped you by writing your comment on here. Love from UK x x
im sorry to read that. i wish you health, and alot of happiness.
With the "Too many basics" I experience the opposite; I have to many "interesting and/or colourful" items & then struggle to style them without looking silly 😅
Are you perhaps secretly a boho/hippie person? It’s ok to be conservative for work if you need to, but you can dress totally different in your private life.
@@heidimeigs5192 I don't really know what it means to be a secret hippie 😅
I _do_ however like dressing weirdly and don't shy away from this. It is just that I want to look good and organised, _in_ my weirdness ;)
I love dressing in loud/colorful things! If you want to unite these more without adding a ton of basics at once, maybe try:
1.Mixing patterns of varying sizes in similar colors on the color wheel, to give more "unity" (ex: all blue/white patterns, orange+red patterned pieces, green+purple, etc)
2.Add a solid-color top or bottom (neutral or vivid, up to you!) to mix with more statement pieces. I have a fitted black top that I wear with "weird"/oppinionated bottoms sometimes, makes dressing easier for me!
3. A shoe, bag, or jacket that matches at least one piece in your outfit to bring them into one unified outfit.
Disclaimer: of course wear what makes you happiest, these are just some tricks I use for my own style. Have fun with clothes ❤🎉
@@lisasoto3425great tips!
This was me as a teenager and the "you'll have something to wear" was what's drew me in to minimalism.
Then it became the opposite... "Where is the soul" in all these basics that i was wearing, how long do i build a foundation for? Some bright pieces were in my wardrobe when i decluttered and there are more being added, as well as interesting silhouettes.
Moderation is key and strategically buying the weird stuff.
You can solve the majority of wardrobe issues by learning how to sew. For most people who have never tried this, this may seem an impossible task that takes too much time and energy, but if you have the will to learn a new skill, the results are life changing. There is hardly anything more satisfying than opening your closet with the knowledge that everything in it fits well, looks good, is in good condition and is comfortable.
You have to enjoy it to put in the time. When I sewed I always made things for others really quickly. When we were moving my parents, I actually found the cut out pieces of a velvet jacket that I had wanted but never completed.
Tbh I just wished tailors for casual modifications (not just to make that super formal fitted suit) were more of a normal thing. I think in some places it is too common to throw away clothes that have ripped somewhere or something and buy a new one instead of getting it fixed. Then tailors start to become more rare and expensive. It's a self-creating cycle, because the more expensive tailors are the more people will buy replacement clothes instead of taking the broken piece to the tailor. Then it is also too expensive to get an alteration for a ill-fitted piece.
I sew my own clothes. I would say for me personally it has taken me years to make some pieces that are things that are my everyday go to. Making clothes is a real labor of love and to make anything beyond a simple skirt or top requires a fair amount of knowledge and skill. I originally got into sewing because my body was not average and I got tired of things never fitting. if you put in the time and are ok with the learning curve and knowing just like store bought your going to spend hours making stuff and sometimes in the end it will not turn out well and you won’t wear it, a handmade wardrobe is great.
Spot on. Men's clothing is so much better made, just a tuck or two can make menswear look more feminine and fit better. Sewing makes the magic happen.
@@camilascatonebedin3002You can access a tailor or seamstress usually at your local dry cleaners, I’ve found. But you can’t expect them to “re-make” a garment that is ill-fitting. If it doesn’t fit you then it probably doesn’t fit your body shape in the first place. Learning what your body shape actually is and buying clothes that are closest to that body shape is the challenge. If you look at UA-cam channels talking about body shape - like Kibbe body shapes - might help you to determine what your shape is and what styles of clothes will look best on your shape so you can choose garments that will suit you and be closest to your shape. If you’ve got ill-fitting clothes then they probably aren’t a good “fit” for your body shape and you should just let them go. I’ve found that the best use of my money is to have a seamstress or tailor hem sleeves and garment length, repair holes and replace buttons. And they deserve an honest living wage. I make most of my own clothes, but if I happen to buy a coat or a pair of jeans (which I don’t make myself), I will go to a seamstress to have them hem those things. Life is too short to be hemming pants!
I recently just went shopping for clothes that would fit my body now and I couldn’t be happier. I finally got rid of the clothes that haven’t fit me since Covid 😅 nothing feels better than having a closet of clothes that fit you
The same with me. I'm 37 and for 37 years I hadn't been my ACTUAL self. Just a couple weeks ago I purchased the stuff that I really liked and they are not on sale. I spent quite huge amount of money but it made me so so happy that my style now has been the best decision. I gave the clothes that I think don't fit my style anymore to my sister in law and she's really grateful for that. And what I like even more, I knew that my good old pieces have come to the correct owner. She can take care of clothes. She's very neat and that's alone makes me feel better knowing not only my previous possession will be useful, but also taken care of wonderfully.
i'm in the same boat here! my partner had to talk to the salesperson for me because clothes shopping became something that made me really anxious/stressed but the salesperson was very calm and not pushy, and now i have about 3 new pairs of pants that 1) fit me and 2) that i LOVE! they have a perfect cut on so many colours so i want to get them in all my favourites :) and with what the previous commenter said i always pas my hand-me-downs to my sister since we're similar size and she is also very pedantic about taking care of her things so it's also nice knowing she's able to take care of her/formerly my clothes. it's always comforting seeing ppl in the comments and knowing there's always someone with the same experiences as you
Fr same
That sounds like weight you could very well lose again if you went in for it and maybe living conditions change, covid lockdown were special times
I’ve recently lost 20 lbs and finally caved and bought new clothes. My old, but very nice clothing went to Goodwill. I hope someone will enjoy them. I love having clothes that fit. I refuse to “save old clothes in case I get fat again.” It’s a good incentive not to.
I've saved several itchy sweaters by soaking them with liquid fabric softener dissolved in tepid water. This has been especially helpful for Sezanne sweaters. I like them because most of them are slightly cropped which is good for my petite frame, but they often have a blend with mohair which can be itchy. Fabric softener really made them workable for me.
What a great tip! Thank you for sharing.
How long do you soak for?
@@elliewatson7884 I soak for only about 5 minutes. It doesn't take long. Also, I use high quality fabric softeners as much as possible.
@@bellebb8673do you do this with every wash or just once?
For wool, mohair or other animal fibers, soaking it in warm water with some hair conditioner can also soften it. Afterwards, roll the item up in a thick towel, and step on the towel to get the water out. Then unroll it and lay it flat to dry. That’s how I finish my hand knit or handwoven items.
It's interesting how the "shopping for your fantasy self" point resonates for so many people! I understand your point & I agree that if you end up not wearing them etc it's better not to buy them. But for me personally, it was the best decision ever to finally stop wearing my basic convenient every-day clothes and finally start living my fantasy. It took some effort at the beginning but it's the best feeling ever, I also worked on becoming the fantasy-self regarding my personality and habits. So yeah I guess either you have to start committing and overcoming some efforts at the beginning, or like you advised go into yourself and realise that's not actually who you want to be in real-life, but the in-between will always cost you money and thoughts
Kudos to you❤
I'm with you, I want to live my life as my fantasy self and I am semi-there haha
@@iwantabiscuitplz it's 11 months since my comment and i've already gotten soo much closer! and i keep being happier and happier with my style and overall. definitely need to work on my fantasy-self hair though haha cause it's LONG in my french vanilla fantasy
I totally agree with buying natural fabrics - cotton, linens, silks, wools. That's about it for me! I also sew, and that opens up a lot of possibilities!
I wear mostly natural fabrics. I am allergic to the Recycled Polyester/ or made out of plastic bottles fabrics ( I have the pictures of that horror) Just saying, buyer beware.
I so agree re jeans. Just because lots of other people have them in their "must haves" doesn't mean I have to. This was a very liberating part of your video for me. My fantasy self imagines I'll wear jeans, but my reality self finds them as comfortable as wearing cardboard.
I hate jeans.
A bit of spandex in denim makes jeans much more comfortable, and there are colors other than blue. That changed my mind, although I only have one pair at the moment. In the US, there are definitely occasions when jeans are more appropriate, like hockey games. ;)
@@ravent3016I also think it's time to reassess what is "appropriate" for certain events. Jeans just aren't comfortable for me. Leggings are a maybe, but I don't like restrictive clothing. I don't see why it can't be normal to wear a skirt to a hockey game. I wear them for hiking and camping, so why not for sports events too? I'd rather be comfortable.
Have you tried Japanese wide legs pants. You can play on the material depending on the occasion. Or japanese culottes. It's so comfortable. The chiffon ones are beautiful. Cotton linen for casual.
I hate jeans too. SO uncomfortable. Every now & then I would buy a pair in a different style &/or colour to try them out but I’ve realised I just don’t like wearing trousers, at all. Apart from the gym, I wear skirts & dresses for absolutely everything. I’m done caring what anyone thinks & I’m finally comfortable all the time… and so much happier 😊 👗
While listening to this I went to my closet and decluttered a retro cheetah print jumpsuit that I’ve worn maybe twice. If my aspirational self wants to wear it she can go pick it up at the thrift store.
OK but I feel like you could have decluttered that jumpsuit AFTER Halloween! 🙂
Brb off to the thrift store to see if i can find it
😂
😂😂😂😂😂😂🇺🇸
i just recently threw out a lot of my old bras and went to bustiers with a racer back. no more wires, no more sliding down straps, no more annoying hooks! it's so liberating!
This time of year is my”wear it or donate”. Often when I make myself wear something I remember why I bought it. Sometimes I think “times up”. I will never wear it. In the spring I gave a large bag of clothes to a teen who had just been adopted. . She was so excited and kept almost everything. I am petite and smaller than most adults. I gave 8 pair of strappy sandals to a group who finds prom dresses for girls.
At my age I’ve learned to take care of my clothes so well that I get tired of wearing them after 5 to 10 years! Sometimes I even forget how long I have had them!
The weight fluctuating is real and changes throughout your life! Plus the growing middle around menopause and post menopause. So my point is, they are clothes. Pass them on when you get tired of them. It’s okay, someone else needs them more then you do.
Tip for anyone with lots of random, cheap clothes in their closets - especially if you think they’re pieces no one would want from a thrift store: Use them as throw pillow stuffing! Stuff them, then put something heavy on top for a while, and it’ll flatten into a normal pillow shape, just heavier:)
MollyMutt also makes dog beds you can stuff with old clothes/towels so your dog can smell you AND you can keep those items out of the landfill!
Ew
@@Jaiem_What's ew about it?.. if they're clean clothes that just don't fit but are not something that's necessarily in style anymore I think it's a great tip to recycle them.
@angelsareout1822 😄 good idea
@angelsareout1822😂
Make art too
Yes, I’m with you on synthetics. Though my ironing pile does grow sometimes, I really hate the feel of synthetics so much I would far rather iron than wear polyester. First thing I look at when looking for clothes is the label for fabric composition. Recycled polyester and all artificial I don’t even try on
Me too. I am now staying away from these synthetic fabrics, always check the label now
Same here 😊 though I never had a huge wardrobe, over the last two or so years I‘ve been decluttering a lot, getting rid of things I just never wore - and of pretty much anything that had synthetic fabrics, including a blouse I had loved very much but couldn‘t really wear because I would always start sweating right away. Not worth it. It‘s such a petty synthetics are now so dominant in the fashion industry because they‘re cheap.
I’ve noticed synthetics sometimes creeping into a ‘premium’ range and not being cheaper at all. It’s getting really hard to find natural fibre clothing
@@bernadettehawes If you want affordable 100% cotton t-shirts, Fruit Of The Loom has them
@@anklu For the record, I took baths daily. However, I have a sweaty BO problem when it comes to synthetics. Damn pieces had me smelling like ass and damp like a swamp. Switched to 100% cotton shirts and 100% wool sweaters and never looked back 😊
Something I thought I wouldn’t struggle decluttering but have is my office clothes. I’m fully remote for work now and LOVE it, but I spent so many years curating and office wardrobe that I loved that it’s hard to let go of - but I don’t reach for those pieces anymore because I would much rather be comfy and professional at home than in a dress and tights all day. This was the reminder I needed that it’s okay to let go of that stuff!
There are some good videos out there on how to combine office pieces with more casual pieces. I also WFH mostly now, but have found ways to use a lot of my office wear when we go out, even to casual events. I wouldn't be too hasty in getting rid of your good quality office stuff. Those pieces can still be part of some fun modern looks when styled well.
You can take those office clothes and put them into storage so you don’t have them in the way but also they’re perfect for your office style and curated for you, so you can save yourself effort if you ever want/need to go into an office
Meeee too! I downsized in closet space and now work remotely as well. I kept some but only the solids. Got rid of a lot of prints other than stripes and polka dots. I got rid of a ton of uncomfortable heels and only kept wedges and sandals lol. I'm not going to wear a pump anywhere these days let's face it!
This is me too - I sold a lot of my formal businesswear and bags, which I used for 20 years, second-hand. Unfortunately, I still don’t have a good handle on an upscale business casual wardrobe, even three years in.
I discovered I need some of that office wear for funerals, and other business like gatherings that are not Jean and nice shirt compatible. So I'm hanging on to some office outfits that I'd let go of now if I were working daily in an office, but are still innfashion enough to pass for these occasions of life.
Story of how I once and for all realized my favorite style. I was hanging clean fresh beautiful laundry and I noticed that on one side of the hangers I was putting to dry my most loved (subconsciously) items, all in neutral yummy tones, all put neat in rows, while on the other side I was kinda throwing the iper colored clothes, red yellows, blue.. And I remember thinking: "If only my wardrobe was ALL like these ones.." and so it hit me. Since then, I discarded the super mega colours and everything is in neutral white caramel beige coffee cappuccino colors. I LOVE IT!!!!
Ive always shopped for classic looks but moved to another country that required yoh to dress in their culture. I had to have them special made. All were silks. Each piece can cost up to over a hundred dollars. After spending 8 years there in Laos, and moving after I i retired, I gave them all away plus all my western winter clothes since i mived to Thailand. It was a very tearful purge plus also many antique furniture but now I only wear beach dresses and recently started sewing my own wardrobe. Ive come full circle.
I went through a recent change with my color palette in my outfits where I added bright orchids, sapphire blues and purples due to my hair color change, going all silver. Its really fun to reach for new colors that arent beige, black and grey! of course now I feel better about wearing brighter lip colors and not always wearing my older neutrals as much. Its refreshing to bring something new to my closet.
On the topic of shapewear! I learned you don't need to buy shapewear that's mega tight I'd always hate it when I went to eat and I would be uncomfortable soon after or my guts would be squeezed and I would be uncomfortable in it before leaving the house. I actually started wearing shapewear a couple sizes bigger, it still smooths everything out but feels secure underneath and I absolutely love the feeling especially with dresses and skirts it's like wearing a skort and I feel so much better! Highly recommend!!
I will never own a blazer. But I live by my army style jacket. I would never be caught dead in a basic white tee, especially a v-neck. But I live by my basic peplum tops. Its been such a journey to realize my style, and to learn that "basics" has a different meaning for everyone :-)
I am with you. I cannot stand blazers or tee shirts. They just aren't me. Loafers fall in there as awell. I see them on other people, they look good. I put them on, look down and say' Nope'. 😅
I came into this thinking it wouldn't be very helpful because my fashion style is, miles apart in differences from yours, but this is actually universal fashion advice, so this was surprisingly helpful.
Also, I think another piece of advice for wardrobes, is to actually wear your "nice clothes". Like you said get rid of "guilty" pieces, which is usually something expensive so you feel guilty having/wearing it, like it's for special occasions or must be kept pristine. So you could get rid of those things, or just learn to wear them as everyday clothing. Like who cares if you're wearing really nice clothes just to go to the grocery store, or get some McDonalds, or go for a walk, wear them like it's a regular piece of clothing. It makes you feel better about the piece, since you actually wear it, and it doesn't special treatment, and sure, it'll wear down eventually, everything does. It's like the same idea of using wedding china as regular dinner dishes, you know, using "the good stuff" as if it's ordinary. If you don't want to do that with a piece, get rid of it.
I had to laugh…. I live in a smaller, rural, Southern town. Practically everyone just wears jeans/leggins/ collage football team tees and sneakers. I do only wear jeans but I’ll pair them with a nice pr of loafers, a nice blazer/jacket and always have jewelry on. I hate that I do this but I shop at Walmart, and I frequently get the once over, or even a compliment about how nicely I’m dressed. 🤣🤣🤣. By all means don’t save what you consider your “nice or special” clothes. I’ve worn a pearl necklace with a white tee and long denim shirt. Treat yourself lovingly.
I couldn’t agree more with wearing your “good” clothes running errands. People ask me”where are you going dressed up?” . I just say going grocery shopping and running errands. I wear costume jewelry, brooches or flowers on my blazers and makeup/hair done by me. People especially women here in Southern California have” given up”. Like money ….you can’t take it with you!
@Bonnie_Mairead this is really relevant and useful advice for me, thank you. After years of bad mental health, I'm FINALLY at a spot where I'm decluttering my ratty old lumpy clothes and building a small and cute capsule wardrobe with clothes id always wanted to wear that I think would look nice on me.
But there is a big hurdle. It's hard to break the habit of "this is too nice to wear today" or even worse, "I don't deserve this right now."
I think your idea of just wearing these things and introducing them as regular pieces in day to day life, is perfect for that.
@@because-strudels Haha, been there done that! I'm glad my experiences can help you!
I think I'm due for another closet purge of clothes I actually don't like at all (or never wear), it's a journey man.
Proud of you for getting this far, it can be hard to let go of things and come to terms with stuff you own. But remember, you deserve to look nice, and feel great in the clothes you wear. You deserve having nice things too you know. Love yourself ♡♡♡ (easier said than done), but you're worth it!!!
I've been redefining my wardrobe a bit recently, and I feel really great. It's a big mood shift when you wear clothes you feel amazing in. I think how you decide to present yourself is a reflection on how YOU see or feel about yourself. So now that I have less frumpy clothes, I feel a bit less ugly when I'm out and about.
Having bad mental battles is a challenge, but looking great while doing it makes it ever slightly easier to get through lol. At least you know, you feel confident in how you look.
Anyways, good luck, I know you can do it, don't give up! Sometimes it's just a little every day, or week. It doesn't have to be a one and done, it can be a process. Get that cute swag on friend!!! Love yourself, you're worth it!!! ♡♡♡
My most-regretted prices are items I bought online, especially second-hand items. In many cases, the items either didn’t fit quite right, the fabric didn’t feel good to me, or there was wear (ie scratched buttons, pilling, stretched shoulders, etc.), and I ended up reselling these items at a loss financially. I’ve resolved to stick to buying in person - one of your suggestions that I know is what works best for my shopping success.
My guilty one has been, for a while, having a lot of small items that didnt fit me anymore. I had always been slender and pretty fashion forward till I hit menopause, quit smoking and got a thyroid problem that made me gain weight (all about at the same time). So all of a sudden I found myself inside this strange body, too large for what I was used to. I kept smaller pieces telling myself that I'd just go back to my old self but that's just not doable. I had to get reacquainted with my body, buy new pieces and just learn to love and dress the body that I have now. I'm not completely there yet, but working on it. One big step was bagging all my old clothes for donation 😊
Even if you only put on five pounds it’s the loose skin you get as you age. My upper arms are huge now , even my arm pits need more space. I always had a tiny figure even after having four kids but now my stomach is finally showing it. I’m ok with it it’s just dealing with the new body and how to cover it all up .
Me too. I went from pencil skirt to elastic flowy skirt. 😅
A tip for anyone who finds the minimal wardrobes on socials too boring - a basic can be a print, it doesn’t need to be a block neutral! Examples: black and white striped tops (or navy and white), leopard or other animal prints, a floral print sun dress. Basics can also be textured! A block colour ribbed singlet, corduroy jeans in brown or black, a sheer black blouse, or eyelets/ lace white shirt. These can all mix with “standard” basics like blue or black jeans, or a tailored pant, a plain white tshirt etc. to make fun outfits
Exactly. 👍🏻
No to animal prints. It might be a favourite of some, but it’s not “basic”, it’s in fact very, very loud and will overpower whatever you pair it with, thus defeating the purpose of a capsule wardrobe.
@@worklifebalance2430 Animal print is a great basic! It contains very neutral colours and black, so pairs well with most other block neutrals and looks great with denim. It can also be great on a shoe! Capsule wardrobe is about being able to pair most or all of your pieces together so you own less pieces. I'll say that some animal print is quite brown, but there's lots of animal print which is grey or black and white.
I have NEVER been able to wear slides or mules, they just don't stay on my feet and are definitely a tripping hazard; I always feel like I could break an ankle when wearing them.
What is the point of calling them basics? To feel better? Everything is basic according to you.
These are all so true. I would add that I never buy things that are final sale, no matter how good the deal is. I also don't shop at stores without a good return policy. Shopping provides a flood of endorphins so I need to be sure I actually like something after the new clothes feelings have worn off. Plus this gives me time to try stuff on for more than 1 minute to make sure it's comfortable, and to try it with what I already have.
I've watched so many videos about this issue.... how to clean out your closet, keep what you love, and have fun... But always ended up making the same mistakes. This makes so much more sense... I appreciate every point you made. And I can take your advice and make it personal. Finally I get how to do it!!! I love the guilty ones. Ugh pulling them out right now... Thanks again.
Thrifting is the way to go! Most of my wardrobe is thrifted, and I only buy new if I love it.
Don't forget about Poshmark. It's like thrifting without leaving your house.
I agree with all 10 points, but thank you for separately addressing "guilty clothes". I have bought a beautiful silver silk shirt 2 years ago, which I wore ... ONCE. Not because it does not fit me or I don't know what to wear it or because it is not my style vibe. But because I always feel so afraid of staining it and ruining its appearance. This creates a "double guilt" in my mind because 1. I am afraid to wear it because of the reason I mentioned and 2. I feel guilty because I have ALREADY BOUGHT this item and spent some money, but it has become a placeholder in my wardrobe rather than a functional garment that I love and wear. Through this experience I realised that I am actually not a fan of luxurious fabrics, namely silk and cashmere (this aligns with point 8 "fussy clothes"). They are too delicate, are much fussier in terms of care and if I ruin them, I'll beat up myself more because of the lost investment and good quality garment. I don't want to have garments that guilt-trip me and become a burden. So now I stick to my silk-looking viscose pieces and merino wool and cotton sweaters:)
What if you thought of it as using it until it's damaged to justify the money you spent on it? Then after that decide if you want to make another investment in a similar replacement? I'm thinking at least then the silk shirt would have served its purpose.
@@joeychen3946 yes, that's probably what I am going to do in the end. the problem is I would still be beating up myself for damaging something something that could be passed even to the next generations😂 (silk pieces are super long-lasting if properly maintained)
@@alexviolettWow, you are a master at guilt tripping yourself. Don't do that. A silk blouse won't usually last long enough to pass on to future generations in any case unless it's never worn because the thin textile suffers wear and tear over time, as well as the thread that it's sewn with. We aren't talking about heavyweight suiting fabric or imperial robes. Having been a haunter of second hand shops for decades, I can tell you that most silk shirts that end up there have damage. Sweat stains, perfume spots, broken threads, etc.
@@edennis8578 omg, thank you so much for this comment! I'm actually really relieved to learn this! No plans for consigning my shirt yet, instead I should just wear it more👍🏻
My take is stuff us to be used, be it crockery, clothes, what ever.
I used to keep 'good stuff' but now use it and if something happens it I smile and remember the uses. I broke a coffee pot I bought in Japan, 25 years ago. I wouldn't have the same memories if I hadn't used it.
Wear the shirt and smile.
I'm the opposite with synthetics! I live in the Irish countryside and my high quality fleece is the best stuff for a quick wash and dry. Also it's rarely hot enough to sweat here
Love the black blazer at 12:05 and the white shirt at 12:07 😍 The dressing for the "Fantasy Self" - OMG!! I never knew this was a thing, and that anyone else had the same issue. It was how I always shopped, then the guilt of course. I used to joke that my clothes had a better life than I did, according to my head 🤣 I recently got back into clothes/trends after years of illness and other problems, but now I do wear the fantasy clothes because - I'm alive and I love looking amazing no matter where I go. For me now, it's just as easy to pull on a stylish bottom and a great top, or slip a dress over my head to run an errand as it is to pull on sweatpants and a t-shirt or other "non going out" clothes. Why not?! 🙌🏼
i always did shopping for my fantasy self, and i'll admit there would be clothes not worn for years, just hanging in the closet. but i gotta say, i did come around to wearing pretty much all of it eventually, once i had the confidence and guess it started to feel more authentic to wear. finally felt more like the actual me, who once was only a fantasy. so idk, i wouldn't give that up tbh
The confidence is key. ❤
I love vintage clothes and dresses! Several years ago, I went to a vintage clothing store and purchased a bunch of pieces because they were cute when I tried them on. Actually wore some and discovered that I hate the feel of polyester and it makes me sweat. Also, it turns out I didn’t have a lot of opportunities to wear those clothes, anyway.
Same happened to me. I have my rules now.
#10 a wardrobe "must-have" that I don't want to have: *WHITE trousers.* Anything white, actually. 😂 I get anxious if I wear white, I constantly worry if it already got dirty or stained at the back 😂
Plus which white pants/jeans/trousers are no favor for a person much over a size 8. White shirts and t's, great.
White cloths are my favorite, linen, cotton ,white jeans ,anything white😁
This! I am NOT graceful enough to avoid staining them 😂 That's why I love dark jeans; feel like I can sit anywhere if needed and it'll barely show
True, all my white pants i end up not wearing them in years
I got my period many years ago with white pants on. Never again. Plus the poster above pointed out that white pants really don’t look good on someone above a size 8 or less then 5’5” tall.
Fantasy self items! OMG...I thought it was only me!!! I am the person who has phases of buying clothes based on the series I am watching. Right now it is Peaky Blinders 😂
Omg I did this with Mad Men and now I'm too self conscious to wear certain dresses and shoes.
Love how sensible you’re being in here. I’ve not often heard that from other vloggers who like to focus instead on the appearance of clothes (which then turn out to cost $$$).
Decluttering is so important. It may seem boring…but there has to be physical space between your items so you can see what you have. If everything is shoved in, no wonder you don’t feel like you have nothing to wear. You can’t see it. You can’t see the forest for the trees. 🌳🌳🌳
I have real trouble with holding onto or buying things that I find unique and beautiful, even if they are not useful for ME in my actual everyday life. It’s almost like I’m curating an art gallery 😅 so I end up with all these beautiful /vintage things I can’t really wear but love looking at… I need to learn to appreciate them without having the need to bring them home …. I need help 🙈
Yessssss same.
I've been doing this for yearssss, once I realized what I was doing it was a little easier to take a step back. I thought about how the item would just sit in my closet without being appreciated, and would say to myself "someone else could enjoy this more than me." Maybe you could try the item on in the store and take a picture to remember it instead of buying?
@@skedaddlebaker unless you treat it like collecting art 🤔 and make a display, like a mannequin that you change the clothes on every week 😂😂 I’m just trying to find excuses
I had the same problem with vintage items, and I solved it with clothing exchanges with a group of friends. I came away with some fun accessories, and my "treasures" found good homes.
I think you're a collector. Many others collect much weirder things that are seemingly useless to others. As long as they make you happy, and you take good care of them, one day you can maybe even earn money from them when they become vintage
I have lived in pure wool home-made trousers for 40 years. They don't get dry-cleaned because I pre-shrink the wool before I cut them out, so I can hand wash them without shrinkage.
I am not a fan of polyester or nylon, but I have to admit that up to 20% of these synthetics, in an otherwise pure wool fabric, is actually an improvement. Pure wool bags with wearing, like denim does, and the addition of the synthetic, reduces that bagging.
I notice that the label of my favourite denim jeans says: 62% cotton, 36% polyester, 2% spandex.
I admire your dedication to the sewing arts. I'm trying to get to 100% me made wardrobe, but the learning curves of fitting and sewing / tailoring techniques are steep and can be expensive.
These are actually amazing tips. I've already came up with most of these "rules" for myself. I'm so glad that someone on UA-cam points out the importance of comfort!!!! You won't wear anything that makes you miserable the whole day.
I agree. Many people just buy those items because they’re younger or wear it when they go to a party. But for older or bigger sized people they would only buy things that are big enough and comfortable.
Brilliant informative video... Yes ditch the unwanted sales items because if they are reduced sale items it because nobody really wants them. I'm 74 this year so I've finally realised ..... Time to buy fewer and better quality item's.. And wear them!! Thankyou for your inspiration xxx
So happy that someone finally says what I've been saying all along about these "basics"/must haves. I never ever wear blue jeans. I don't like the colour blue so why would I force myself to pay for that and to wear them. And I only wear blouses to funerals. My go to basics are black long sleeve t-shirts and black leggings. They work for 9 months of the year where I live. I wear them underneath my zip up hoodies/pants.
I just recently watched this video, I really love your explanation on why having to many items in your closet and feeling like you have nothing to wear is really frustrating. That was my closet, it was bursting out at the seams, I was so frustrated, I had so much clothes, but couldn’t make a outfit. That is when I began my journey on finding out why that was. I stumbled across what a capsule closet is, though I didn’t think I could be that minimalistic, it made sense to me. I began purging my closet, it was very difficult because so many of my clothes were brand new with the tags still on them, very cute styles, but I had no desire to wear them. As I continued to purge my closet, I began feeling better because I could actually see the clothes I was constantly wearing, they were not hidden anymore. My closet was full of trends and no basics to make outfits with. As I added in those basics in, it was amazing, I could actually make a lot of outfits to wear. I am discovering in detail what my design style is, but I haven’t really honed in on it yet. I think my Dream self, who I thought I was, has now changed. I think it is because I am getting older and no longer feel like I used to. So I am still finding out what my Dream Style inner person is, I am still evolving. I have made purchases like you said, feeling guilty about spending so much money on the item. I have found a solution to help me in the process of finding my Design Style. It is helping me save money. It might not be the best solution, but this is what I am doing. When I purchase a item I think I need for my new capsule closet, I leave the price tags on the item. If I find that I am not reaching for that item in a two week period, and or feeling a little different about it, I just simply return it. It may take extra time on my part, but it is saving my pocket book. I love all of your suggestions. Susan 😉
Very insightful points. Thanks for a great video.
I'm realising that my wardrobe is filled with "date outfits" but I never go on dates!!! so that's a large FANTASY category for me!! Lol
Same, hahah. Aaahh. For me it’s dresses and skirts. Especially skirts, I can never figure out what tops and shoes to wear with them, so I’ve given up. I’m trying to limit my dresses because I know I only wear them once or twice a year! 🤪 But I love how they look on other people…
Videos like this always serve as a good reminder for me to edit my wardrobe in a way that makes me feel good about myself. Style is never something that should be put into a box, so for that, I'd say that comfort is definitely becoming more of a priority for me now and I never want to compromise on that. Thanks for sharing your own insights on the matter, Christina!
really appreciate you normalizing regret as something that just happens and not something to feel stupid about. we live and learn and make better (for us) choices next time ☺️🙏🏽🐣👗
I usually get so upset with these types of videos but for some reason your videos make so much sense and don’t make me regret even trying to declutter my closet. Because why was I shopping like I’m an Insta baddie when I dress like a librarian??? 😂
👗 great advice. 😊
Re: synthetics - when I put on anything made entirely of drapey, slinky polyester I think how can a fabric be so conflicting? Too hot but strangely too cold. Very slinky but also too wrong and creepy against my skin. 😂😂😂 feels like fingernails on a chalkboard.
LMAOOOO omg I shuttered so true
Yes!! I agree with you 100%. It's cold until you wear it for 5 minutes then it's extra hot. I live in an extremely hot & humid climate and I don't understand how anyone can wear 100% polyester work blouses here unless they run cold all the time.
It's getting so hard to find clothes that don't contain polyester. Any brands you have found with more natural fibers?
@@cds8249Pact uses all cotton
I love novelty socks (think holiday socks) but they make me ITCH, especially if there are metallic threads. I need to face it and buy plain cotton or wool blend socks for winter
You just helped me realize why I don’t wear my beautiful blue blouse! Thanks
This is great, practical advice. I hadn’t considered packing away clothes that are tight - rather than staring at them hoping they’ll fit somehow or having to shove them aside every day to get to the few things that fit.
I recently lost weight and pulled out clothes from the early 1990s. They are all back in style! Wide leg pants, shoulder pads in blazers, suits, yes!
You have a great “vintage” wardrobe now. Enjoy it the second time around!
@@cristinaflores9972. I don’t consider it vintage because the styles are current again.
Oh, Christina- perfecting wardrobes one video at a time! I gleaned so much from this, even years after editing my closet. Removing synthetics was my first win. Admitting that I looked less than best in black and gray was the next step, even though all the 'must have' lists include them as you mentioned. Keep up your excellent work!
Every “fashion expert” says you must have a pencil skirt, a white button down and a trench coat. My own mother gave me this same advice. I don’t look good in any of these things! Your “fantasy self” comments really struck me, as I love fancy clothes. I don’t buy these any more, because as /I always ask myself “where do you think you’re going?” I’m very fortunate to know how to sew, and I make a lot of my own things to suit my frame and personal style.
Dressing your fantasy self just changed the declutter game for me! Thank you
I agree with all of these. There were many times I bought a basic item to replace a damaged one or to build a capsule wardrobe, but it wasn’t exactly the right cut or fabric for me… Then I developed a rule that if I don’t love it I don’t buy it.
Thank you Christina! You are giving me permission to get rid of some of my more expensive items due to all of these issues. I’ve been grappling with these issues for awhile without any clear answer. You are very right, I never grab uncomfortable clothes. I’m very wool reactive and as much as wool sweaters are an “it” item, they are so uncomfortable for me. I’m getting rid of them, someone will want them.
👗 great list, especially the part about recognizing your own foundational must-haves as opposed to the generic "everyone sgould own" lists. I do think that is something I have gotten better at with age. My wardrobe issue the last few years has been coming to terms with the fact that there is no "finished" version of a wardrobe for me. I have all I currently need, but those needs will continue to shift as I go through different life stages, so I have had to let go of the idea that my wardrobe will ever be complete, and recognize that editing and adding a few new pieces here and there are necessary activities, not something that has to be avoided.
Clothes do wear out, too, especially if they get worn and washed a lot, even if they are sturdy and well-made. Eventually even basics have to be replaced!
I love what you said about each of our basics being different. It might be a white tee for someone but then another person it could be a distressed concert tee. Love that so much.
Love this advice! I recently went through a phase where I realized, I have adult money now, and I can buy tall clothes that fit my long arms and legs online. No more high water pants or sleeves I have to roll up. It's fantastic putting something on knowing it will fit!!
Awesome list! I am trying to let go of anything I feel frumpy in. I find myself saying I can wear that around the house, but I think it is time to let go of pieces that just don’t work.
Yes! I now have house clothes I actually love - and don't feel frumpy in. If it's too used up to go outside in, it gets recycled!
Yes! Those pieces are the worse.
One helpful note about shoes. If they're very expensive, sometimes a leather worker can stretch them ever so slightly for you and they'll stop hurting. It won't work with shoes that are genuinely too small, but, if just one of the straps of a sandal is digging in, you can ask if it's worth a shot. That said, I have taken to buying the same shoes and sandals perpetually because they accommodate my wide feet and look good. I rule out everything else for health and safety now and play with other aspects of my wardrobe.
👗 I decluttered a lot of hand-me-downs that sometimes made me feel guilty. They were super high quality and often expensive…they just didn’t flatter me.
You did not spend the $ on them. They were just an opportunity to try. Any consignment stores in your area?
Have a whole closet of clothes I never wear. Live in two to three alternate uniforms…no matter how many times I try, it never changes ❤
Me too 😉
@@maritadenil6774 I think there are many like us! Most of my immediate family are too! 😆😆
Oh "Shopping for my fantasy self " sounded so real fo me it was always a mix of this or this time i "try something new" and it was not me as you said. and also I "need something for this and that "liKe events; weddings e.g. BUT NEVER get worne out side of this events. why ? because they are useless on a day to day base. but I also like how you said Spicing it up is important too. something that helped me was also "shopping" in my own closet before i buy something new.
I dont have any shirts, no blazers and no white tshirts in my capsule wardrobe. Works for me and I have the smallest wardrobe amount Ive ever had, but it all brings me joy and is so mix/matchable 🎉
One thing that really helped me was analyze the things I was actually giving away. For example: gonna donate this pair of black jeans bc they’re too short on me and I wish they were longer. So now, when buying I look for longer pants, bc I think they fit me better, and also know I need some long black jeans to replace the ones I gave away. Another example: gonna donate this sweater bc is too loose on me. It means I gotta go for something a little more fitted. Or if I donate something because I have a lot of similar pieces, don’t need to get more. Also, when getting dressed take note of the missing pieces, if you think that leather boots would look awesome on that outfit, write it down, and in another moment you can come back to that list and see if those items would fit well in your style. It’s pretty obvious but it might help someone.
Great idea!!
I'm a sweaty sweaty betty, so synthetics and even some cottons are a no go for me! Ive recently started using wool and linen fabric activewear, the moisture wicking effect keeps my skin breathing, dry and happy, and its naturally antibac so i only need to wash after really sweaty workouts. Dilling is a brilliant brand for this :)
I would love a cotton lining blazer, but they are a rare breed, do you talk about yours in another video?
My tibi blazers are lined with majority cotton! I’ve gotten mine off the real real and when she has her sales - the seasonal colored blazers usually go on sale for an excellent price for the quality in January/June!
Me too! Merino wool underwear is a game changer. Not as ‘sturdy’ and long lasting as cotton but excellent for staying cool and dry. I never exercise in anything else now.
Thank You Thank You. I even shed a tear, so much of what you said Hit home for me. I feel so much better now dealing with my wardrobe!
👗Thanks! So many obvious things I should kick out of my closet but just haven't--your encouragement to make my wardrobe one that doesn't hurt me, make me sweat, make me itch, make me uncomfortable, etc., wow . . . just what I needed
Agree with all of your tips! Did a massive decluttering of those things that don't fit, don't wear and it was great having room in my closet and drawers. The only thing I would add is when you find an item of clothing you like, do not buy it in every single color. I have done this and when you find that you really don't like it, you have 2, 3, 4 times the amount to get rid of. My biggest regret stuff is anything that is bedazzled with stones or rivets...those get worn one or two times max.
completely agree with this ! a year ago I found the perfect fitting pants, I bought them in every color, only to realise that they're made of a poly/cotton blend that holds onto odors. Will never make the same mistake again !
👗 Facing the rea!ity that I have a Fantasy Self has been an eye opener. It so explains the random pieces bought in the past that are so incongruent with my daily life. I am going to let go of these items and embrace my simple fantastic style insfead of my fantasy style. I enjoy your content!
👗 No to impractical, fussy, and uncomfortable clothing! I also avoid knits that require a smoothing garment. Those are most likely on the regret list. Great video!
Hi, 👗
The shopping for your fantasy self is so true and never heard this from anyone else before!
I am guilty buying blazers and blouses- when I think of myself I see an elegant minimalist decent woman. But the truth is that I don’t wear them at all- never get the chance- just taking up place in my wardrobe. I am jeans+ T-shirt woman in everydays.. sad but true 😄
Very useful information and not overly discussed. I found myself looking back in my mind at a lot of purchases that fit into the descriptions you gave for things we eventually en up discarding after shuffling them around for a while and I have also been that guy who has too many basics cause it is just easy.
I've learned I don't like blazers and they are almost a fantasy self item for me. I buy them thinking they will work for lots of occasions and then I realise they restrict my movement and end up taking them off. Plus most blazers aren't cut for petite frames so I always feel overwhelmed in fabric.
@TheEmzies same here! I see blazers all over Pinterest but they just aren’t part of my lifestyle.
I also had the issue of not finding a blazer that fitted my petite frame, but after many try-ons, I finally found a specific style that actually looked good on me! So now I have the same blazer in 3 different colors. I do agree that they restict movement, so I don't wear them every day.
Same here. Love the look of slim jeans with a colored blazer, but way too restrictive and usually too warm for me. My better choice was to go with open front cardigan sweaters. I have about 15 in my closet (too many, I know); including black and white, both in several different weights, and an assortment of colors and patterns. I layer them over a tank or tee and feel just a little more put-together.
My current Chelsea boots need replacing and my plan was to get a pair of Blundstone (square toe) boots but oh my goodness, they hurt so bad. I thought about pushing through to break them in but I could tell it wasn’t going to end well. Hadn’t worn them outside so back they went.
Yes! I have a high instep and there isn’t enough give on the top of my Blundstones.
I’ve never had to break in blundstones (have 3 pairs), crazy how experiences can differ
Since I haven't been a teenager in eons, I started to declutter my mini me outfits. The same goes for super tight shoes and dance shoes that I will never wear or squeeze into again. Either I donate to thrift stores or give to dance studios.
You made my day! Even in my twenties, I ran warm. I had to be very careful about my work clothings composition. Definitely cotton, rayon are my first go toos. And nylon for workout wear.
This video was fantastic. Totally made sense and "fantasy self" was one topic that rang true for me. I just decluttered my closet and footwear and am being very choosy about rebuilding it. I'm looking forward to more of your videos! 👗💛
I love every single thing in my wardrobe. The minute I realize I made a poor choice I get rid of it, but it's rare. I know my style, know what I love to wear - including shoes and accessories. It was not always this way. I had this problem when I was younger and often regretted a purchase. When you begin to come into your own fashion style, you have far fewer regrets.
Yes!!!
👗 Thank you for your videos! ✨
An item that is on a lot of ‘must have’ lists that i can’t do is a motorcycle jacket. I tried, it just isn’t me. I felt so silly in it. Had to return.
I had to let my cowboy boots go. They were unbelievably comfortable but I felt like I was in costume when every time I left the house in them. . 2 pairs went bye bye 8 years ago and I’m still missing them.
Totally agree with everything you said in this video! Especially no.4!! I have reached that age where I can only wear natural fabrics (hot flushes etc). I have gradually been replacing ALL my fabrics to natural ones! Yes, it is expensive to do so and the way you have to care for the fabric's is different but to tell you the truth they look better than synthetic ones and last much longer! Great video, lots of good information!
After menopause thechot flashes go away and fabrics again won't matter
@@joywebster2678 When?? 💁 It's been 12 years now, and I still can't even wear long sleeve t-shirts! I look longingly at sweaters🥵
@deniseharwood9521 my hot flashes subsided to night time only within 4 yrs, and so I never returned to flannel nightgowns. I didn't take any hormone supplements, which do extend them.
@@deniseharwood9521 Look into hormone replacement.
For me, unlike maybe most people, I am not a blue denim person. Really contented when I realised this fact. Black denim or some of the great coloured denims are me. Definitely part of my basics.
👗 I just did my first big declutter after finding your channel, and so many of the things I removed fit into these categories. I got rid of so many pairs of uncomfortable shoes, fantasy-self items, scratchy annoying pieces, and anything else that wasn’t a “hell yes” when I wore it