I've thought about trying that reversing the role for 24 hours and give them a taste of their own medicine. I don't think I want to stoop to their level. It is tempting. What happened when you did it.????
@@mikedoyle7300, I've done it (such as gray rock when he talks). My narc then tries goading me into responding so he can do the usual narc cork screw to change context of what I said to start an argument. If I remain gray rock, then he'll stomp around with frowny face like a kindergartner. It could be days later and he'll keep trying to make me have an emotional outburst. Very exhausting.
@@76482 it is definitely exhausting, I wasn't really referring to defensive tactics, more like offensive action against them, doing to them the same thing. Interrupt their favorite TV shows, start provoking them, get them all pissed off for no good reason, make up the same frivolous claims against them, gaslight them tell them " you never said to do that " and if and when you piss them off just say oh I must of not heard you properly, start criticizing their flaws, embarrassing them in front of family and friends, give them a taste of their own medicine. When they finally ask WTF is going on, tell him it's a small sample of how you've been treated. BUT I don't think it's worth it because it's a horrible way to treat people, also it won't make any difference, it's not going to improve your life. Best is to escape smartly, but I admit it's awfully tempting. As long as you now know what you are dealing with, it's a game changer, imo. Take care, good luck, stay safe.
I met someone once that if I sat the phone down they’d still be talking. I literally ran an experiment and left it down for 15 minutes, came back and they didn’t even realize I was gone.
@@sagittariusblack2879 I have a cousin like that. I did the same thing. When he calls home, he's out of state. Even his mother didn't want to talk to him, & everybody would pass the phone around.😂
So true especially #3 for me. After horrible tirades and verbal abuse.....always act as if it never happened. No apologies, no mention that anything ever happened. When I confronted the situation, she (my narc sister) always just glared at me then avoided me for a while. NEVER ACCEPTED RESPONSIBILITY FOR HER ACTIONS. Her whole life has been like this and has become much worse with age. NO CONTACT is the only solution, otherwise the stress will destroy you.
I have a narcissistic sister who I stayed in contact with until the time she sent me a late night message accusing me of stalking her on social media (I wasn't) and called me 'creepy'. I live on my own so had no-one to give me a hug or talk to about it. This was over two years ago and she's never apologised or taken accountability for that horrible message yet she told my adult children that she can't understand why I don't have anything to do with her as she still loves her little sister! Blah blah. You don't treat people you love like that. No contact is bliss. She always was neurotic and thrives on drama. Like you say the stress will destroy you. Sending best wishes.
@Kay Campbell: Her actions reflect that she KNOWS she's wrong & you're right!! My narcissist does this EXACT thing, which tells me he knows EXACTLY what he's doing!! No. Doubt. About. It!!!
Glaring & sneering & hissing are all non verbal communication that has the equivalent of I hate you or I detest you or I will fight you. According to Joe Navarro (a top of the field FBI profiler) a sneer is a sign of disrespect &/or contempt for another person. He has a book in which he outlines body communication signals used by the FBI when they interview suspects. My mother had 2 children from her first marriage who were older than I am. They sneered & hissed & glared at me from the early beginning of my life. I displayed pain & confusion every time they did it for decades. (I did not learn until recently that they were feeding off of my anguish.) I experienced severe psychological damage because I thought everyone regarded me like they did. I was relieved when both of them died. In my opinion: If narcs are not demons, they are like clones of demons & perfect demon substitutes.
They steal things you've said or credit for it. For example a good way to spot it in a work setting: you happen to say something interesting to them at lunch. Then another colleague sits down with you both and the narcissist will say that thing word for word to that colleague right in front of you. Without giving you credit (so no 'mini m was just saying...'). Normal people don't steal your ideas and act like they are theirs with no shame.
Having both narcissistic parents, I of course made narcissistic "friends" they'd do this to me all the time. That's the reason they wanted to hang around me.
@@helierhefortuneteller Yes, to mirror you. They can see how wonderful of a person you are & they want to be that way so they copy (mirror) you & your good qualities.
Oh Yes! I worked as an aide for a teacher who could take credit for what I had done or said, and tell others of her new ideas Right In Front of Me! After I talked about something, it became her idea.
My ex used to retell the same stories over and over, sometimes about me as if I didn’t know what really happened. Once he told me, “I made you too mean.” He used to say I was so sweet then he changed it to, “Your a wimp!” After hours of telling me what a horrible person I am. He’d act like nothing happened and want to have sex.
He made me feel guilty when I was on my period and didn’t want S3x. So if anyone is suffering from being with a narcissistic partner- I feel you and please don’t ever break no contact. You deserve better.
@@dreamyblue9408 so glad to hear! Just know that when I left him (as he cheated)- in 1 week, despite crying at least 80% of the time, not eating well and only sleeping 2 hours a day … I look better than I ever did. After just 4 months my hair is shiny, I started running lost weight and glowing. When I was with him I look 45 despite just turning 30. Now that I’m not with him I look a lot younger! Like I’m in my mid-ish 20s. Please don’t ever let the narc drag you down.
He tried to make me feel guilty for not breastfeeding my son whenever he wanted me to!!! (I had to children previously- always did on demand breastfeeding, it was a beautiful thing, and he was trying to ruin it by controlling it, with the one child I had with him!)
I can relate to the first one the most at this point in my life. When narcissists approach me and start speaking about insignificant things non-stop, all I feel is an overwhelming sense of emptiness. It's so intense that I naturally lost focus on what they are saying.
Yeah I remember him saying I am the most beautiful person he met and then he broke up saying I was ugly n we didn’t look good together! Strange that I believed him that I didn’t. It was later that I discovered that it was he who was so shallow that he just threw people’s insecurity to their face because he can’t find a reason otherwise to belittle me. I remember those days I felt so low that I used to say “don’t settle for me, coz you deserve better”. I thought myself as someone who didn’t deserve him, as I saw him as someone God like! I ignored all the red flags and gave myself reasons for his bad behaviour. He never gave me a closure but it was later I found out that it was me, I should have walked away sooner but I decided to stay coz I was blindly in love, thinking that something in his past made him the way he is. Whatever be the reason, that never gives him the license to treat me like shit! I am glad I could look at where I went wrong and work on myself . Glad that I never gave him the satisfaction of me broken. Glad that I created boundaries just after we broke up and not let him use me as a sexual object. I love myself more now, not to give him another minute of my life. Hating him would give him space in my life, and after everything I can’t afford that .I am glad I have “nothing-ed” him. Thank God to save me from that. Staying single is far better that living with anxiety everyday, not knowing where you stand in someone’s life. Giving hope to everyone. Life gets better. Way better than we could ever imagine. ❤❤❤
@Talisha Roy Yo speak very well but at the end so say that you never knew where you stood in his live. Ask yourself where he standing in my life. AH ! You knew where he stood all of the time after the idezlization period passed and he went into the degrading/devaluation phase before he went into the discard phase of your contractual 'relationship'. Note discarding you was never, almost never meant to permanent in his delusional way of thinking. He would always come back to do the whole circle of behaviors again. You just kept the blinders on. NOW THAT YOU DISCARDED YOUR BLINDERS AND YOU HAVE DISCARDED HIS CRAZY BEHAVIORS WITH HIM WHO CHOSE TO MANIPULATE PUNISH AND DECEIVE, YOU ARE FREE TO BE YOURSELF AND GODS CHILD ONCE AGAIN. WELCOME 🏡 HOME. 😇😊🤗
'they throw your insecurities in your face'. That is very true. During the love bombing stage they encourage you to open up and you confide in stuff you wouldn't tell anyone else. But make no mistake they are storing that information you've shared to gaslight you. After all it's 'all your fault because you are so insecure' etc etc. And you are so lucky they give you their precious time even if it is crumbs. Well done for realising that you don't need him to give you closure. His treatment of you is all the closure you need. Sending best wishes.
My narcissist could spend hours talking about herself. As soon as I mentioned me she would glance over it and move on to more talk about herself. It was odd to say the least
I remember my husband coming home from work and without asking would just talk about his day, not even looking to see if I am was listening, it was boring, went on and on, and never asked me about my day, I told him anyway.
I know every nite after he came home from work I had to listen to how he saved the company he worked for I had never stepped foot in the place and could run the equipment buy him tell me every night
Mine didn't listen about my day, either. After 5 or 6 years, I realize he still didn't even remember the name of any of my coworkers, and he couldn't understand why he should. 🙄
I put red flag, if sb is telling me about their life in deeply but never check it's effect on me, or say sth like "what about you" to turn conversation to me. If sb is not interacting with you, then watch up.
My mother had that type of voice & presence. She'd trigger people from her mere appearance. She has a sister that acts like this too. They know exactly what they're doing.
Learn to Go Gray Rock from Dr Ramani video, so you don't react to a Narcissist bcs that's what they want, it's giving them Narcissistic supply, learn to be as interesting as an grey rock ‼️
what he said about my body in the beginning, then said no man will ever want me except for my body....pure Wicked and falsehood in person, and yes, he said he owned me, but in front of my attorney, said he treated me like a QUEEN and I had a huge Rock...crazy nut...what happens in the dark will come out to the light no one can mock Jeh God.
All 3, on a weekly basis. Especially when he's drunk. The talking and belittling lasts for hours. I used to say things back to him but I eventually learned to just be quiet and wait until he falls asleep. You will NOT win an argument with a drunk!!! I love your content. It has helped me to plan an exit from hell!
@Kaye Tee: You can't win an argument with a narcissist either. I can't (& don't want to) even imagine a drunk narcissist!! I'm sorry you had to endure that.
The exit strategy is important. And it was the hardest part for me, at first I thought I could just break up with him. But it was all three with him too… like a sick game of peekaboo. Was he gonna be sweet or psychotic today? Had he had too much to drink for me to speak my mind and if I did it would I get a beating? I’m sending you so much love and protection on your journey out. It’s a tough fight but worth it. Three years and a restraining order later… I’m so grateful I fought back. You will be too. ❤️🩹
Took me 14 yrs to do it myself. I knew it would go violent for sure, so I confided to a family member and asked for their help. We picked a date and they came and got me and the kids. I couldn’t prepack, so we grabbed all our stuff all Willy-nilly, and he came home to a note and us long gone. The fallout has been harsh, to say the least, and fluctuates between threats, begging and pleading, promising the world to me if I come back, even admitting how terribly he treated us. This has been going on for almost three months now. I unfortunately can’t go no contact as we have a child. A child he never even asks about, but my lawyer said it would not reflect well on me in court if he doesn’t have access to his child. So I put up with it, knowing one day it will be totally over. He’s still in the frame of mind that I will come back, because “we’re meant for eachother and God wants us together “😂😂😂😂. Please lol. In my state you have to be separated for a year before you can file for divorce if children are involved. I predict drama and maybe even violent acts when those papers are served on him. But I can’t worry over that. He stole 14 years of my life and impacted the kids terribly, and I had to get out of there for their sake, as well as my own. They begged me to leave for quite a while and that was also a big wake up call to me. I WILL NEVER GO BACK TO THAT CRAZY MAN. Ever. Whatever is to come cannot possibly be worse than if I had stayed. So be strong and go. Prayers for your safety, and prayers for you to go and have a peaceful life. Bless you.
@Miss Jools Thank you!!!! I really needed this today. Yesterday was a HORRIBLE day!!! It was also my reality check day that this can no longer go on. I commend you for your strength and willpower to leave. I allowed him to keep me a stay-at-home mom. I thought it was to better the household, but I realized it was to keep tabs on me. Again, thank you, and stay strong!
I had a guy on the phone and he literally talked for 2 hours non-stop about his car parts shop and at one point I set the phone down and came back a half hour later and he was still talking about it (he had no idea I had left and came back). I wanted to see how long he would go on but I noticed my phone battery was getting low so I said "hey, I have to interrupt you for a moment" and he still kept talking about his shop! and I said HEY! MY PHONE BATTERY IS ABOUT TO DIE SO I HAVE TO GO NOW. And he said "so, plug it into a charger". And I said "no, bcuz my charger cord is only like 2 ft long". And he says "so, just plug it in and stay there". 🤯 these ppl never cease to amaze me. I swear this entire story is true and I'm not exaggerating any of it. It was a first time call and it was the last.
Last conversation I had with a narcissist- it was eerie- she was screaming at me.... so, I took the bait and screamed back. She then got calm and smug, almost as if her ability to whip me up to her fever pitch level made her feel good. Calmed her right down like some magic spell or something🤣Never falling for that again!
Exactly what happened. In the beginning, he and his mother ( she was also a narc) buttered me up big time... gushy. Then after years and three children, I couldn’t do anything right if my life depended on it. Continual devaluation. He also went on and on and on about things like his job, not just to me, but family... one time brought a school book from a class he was taking on banking. So everyone’s there visiting, family get together, and he starts teaching them! 😳. Funny most of them went into medical or dental fields, doctors, dentists, nurse practitioners and nurses. He ALWAYS told me I thought I was perfect and made him feel bad about himself. He pushed me to fight constantly. When I’d break down, he’d take a deep breath and say, well, you finally got mad.” That was a light bulb moment because I finally understood that things would never get better, because all that mess made him feel good about himself (he had control to make me angry and fall apart). Demons.
You can learn to Go Gray Rock from Dr Ramani video, so you don't react to a Narcissist bcs that's what they want, it's giving them Narcissistic supply, learn to be as interesting as an grey rock ‼️
@@tovenrvik6336 - even better, I went disappearing rock and divorced him, in 1993… we had three children. It was devastating because we had a family (for me). He IMMEDIATELY started chasing skirts, looking for new supply. He’s on his third marriage since me. He’s kind of behaving himself with this one, because he’s 75 now and doesn’t want to be out looking for new supply again. This shows that they can behave if they want to… so they choose to be horrible.
@@bluebird3014 They are predators who abuse others to regulate their false narrative and self, they puts others below themselvs so they can be abowe ‼️Their personality disordered individuals, who are destroyed by Narcisstic mothers‼️If it's looks like he behaves now, I doesn't have to be the truth, some Narc's waits until they get married before their mask falls or their partner becomes pregnant, a Narcissist will always have a target harass and use, to project their garbage onto‼️
@@tovenrvik6336 -I divorced the narc in 1993. That’s about as gray rock as you can get. The problem was though, that he picked, manipulated, cut down, raged 24/7. Ruined every Holiday, vacation, special occasion in some way. Ie. Got drunk at my sister’s daughter’s baptism. Fell down and up the stairs. Everyone horrified. Then if anything was said about his obnoxious behavior du hour, he’d rage that we all think we’re perfect. There’s only so much a person or family can take. I think he was a super narc. And MEAN.
My Narc will gaslight me about saying how he wants to sit down and talk about the relationship. He wants it to work by praying on it. I have been waiting for this conversation that never happens....He just string me along
All of these things resonate with my personal experience, but the thing that really hit home the most was when you said They Own You. He definitely feels like this to the point that I have been frozen in fear of leaving for years. I have made huge steps over the past month since throwing him out. I’m scared of how he will react to some of the things I have done when he finds out. Praying for safety for my family and all the sweet people who are in the same or similar situation.
I will pray for you. Get close to God and Jesus now. I have spoke verses over my issues and fears of the narc. My favorite one is exodus 14:4, “The Lord will fight for you and you have only to be silent”. You can defeat these people with prayers for deliverance and use the scripture to fight back! It works miracles!!! Mine lost the whole divorce...I got everything....and I never had to go before the judge!!! Praise God for delivering me from the hands of evil ones!!!
He is the enemy, leave in silence, you don't reveal your plans to your enemy‼️Narcissists isolates their target from family and friends, they are obsessed with control and makes their target weaker and easier to control, by removing others from their life‼️The target of a Narcissist stands alone, the day she or he want's to leave the predator, it's possible to seek help from your Doctor and tell what you are living wt, Narcissistic abuse, and ask about help to get a roof over your head ‼️If you'll ask your Doctor to get an Psychologist, the person can be your support and witness, the Narcissist can't do much harm then, the Psychologists can also help you wt much and know your rights‼️Get evidence in texts, witnesses and recordings, so you can go to the Police and put the Lunatic behind bars or get an restraining order on the non human‼️Many woman puts on the recorder on the phone, when the Narcissist begans to rage or has their blame and blameshift‼️Narcissists needs their target, but the target don't needs them‼️
Yes mine high five everyone as he's proud of himself acts chill. Nobody knows the wiser. When he goes to our balcony I say stop hitting me u piece of shit. Saving up and leaving soon.
They’re happiest after they’ve abused somebody It’s some kind of a release , so they feel better after they were abused you, and he’s left you in the hell
The monologue - must not be interrupted but obviously when it’s your turn to talk they can ‘correct’ every word and interrupt and disagree without restraint. Also the feeling good after an episode of abuse - like they deplete and exhaust you physically and emotionally and recharge themselves.
"Your turn to talk"??? What's that???? Nothing I say is worth listening to or remembering but he expects me to remember the smallest detail about his day that he told me about 3 months ago and if I don't remember I get accused of not listening. So sick of this and other bad behaviour from him.
Monologs, he literally came up with the stupidest things to talk about or just talk about himself so he could have control of the conversation. After having his loved many drinks he would start bullying me into saying something that would enrage him (into committing the mistake that he needed me to commit) so he could justify lashing out at me and discharching his anger.
Omg the talking! I used to refer to it as 'he's on one of his monologues'. The lightbulb moment came when we were out walking my dog and as usual he was talking (the narc not the dog) but I had to interrupt him to call back my dog who had wondered off too far and I was concerned for her safety. The narc hated being interrupted and sulked the rest of the walk.
I had a gf once who would piss her daughter off than go lay down in my room as if nothing happened she was on her phone almost like enjoying the fact that she stung while her daughter was crying leaving me to handle it
Some narcissists don't compliment at all, not even in the beginning. They are also extremely dramatic after arguments and make you feel like you were th one that caused everything
#3, and then they act out loud like you are crazy when other people see you are upset after the abuse instead of acting happy with them now that they feel better
All 3. It's so sad to know that there are people out here with this personality disorder. But I am glad to be informed now. I never experienced it to this degree but after that experience I realized that there was many of them in my life my family and seen some things about myself. Been out of the relationship for 2yrs now and Now I' am working on me.
Every single one of these are true so so true! I lived it all for 25 years. If anyone is experiencing anyone of these, run for your lives! It’s so not worth it. I’ve been divorced for 6 years and am barley starting to heal from it.
I'm glad you acknowledged the time it takes to heal from narcissistic abuse. When people say they've been no contact for like a week and are beginning to heal, I find that hard to believe. I'm out of my last relationship two years now and it's still affecting me but I'm getting there .
Do the inner work to get a handle of how and why you allow it to happen. This could be the one Trust me if every one I wanted just fell in my lap, I'd be the happiest man on earth. It doesn't work like that.
Agree 100% number 3. They will totally violate you and then the next time you see them, nothing ever happened. But the other way around and you will never hear the end of it.
I’ve experienced all three. I was with a terribly abusive narcissist for 12 years and I was terrorized from the day we moved in together until the third time I left and stayed gone. Even after a year gone, I still get threats and they still try to get in my head anyway they can. Plain evil.
Two significants in my life talked incessantly, hijacking people and conversations for hours on end without regard for appropriacy or turn taking. One of my mother’s favourite projections was ‘Xyz loves the sound of their own voice!’ I will no longer engage with an incessant talker.
Wow! All 3 things described an ex-friend I had to cut ties with. It’s crazy, she would talk for a whole hour with out me saying a word. She would put me down. I’m so glad I’m not friends with her anymore… Life has been great!
Al three.Afrer verbally abusive acted as if nothing wass wrong. He would say I don't understand why you want to carry things on He would rage and expect everything was ok after being extremely verbally abusive.
I can't relate to the sexual part, but this definitely was my father. After he would terrorize the whole family including beating my mom and abusing my brothers and I when we try to intervene, he would pretend that everything was fine. Meanwhile I have a bloody nose and a fat lip and my glasses are broken, but everything's “fine.” I found it very hard to grieve for him after he passed away. I eventually had to forgive him and realize that he wasn't the father that I needed or the person that he should have been. Still, it's a great big mind f*ck when you lose a parent and you weren't particularly close with them and then you wonder why things couldn't have been different.
@@iononcantomascrivo I’m sorry you and your family had to endure this but I hope you’ve found some semblance of peace in your life. And hopefully that generational curse ended with you and your brothers. Peace and blessings!❤️
@@aprillewis6270 more or less. It's not a happy update I'm about to share. My older brother is in prison for the second time and my younger brother is dead. Both of them had severe drug problems. I'm the only one who never used or has been in trouble with the law. So much for breaking the curse.
@@iononcantomascrivo but you’re still here so keep fighting!!! Keep being resilient and manifest the best life you can ever imagine. Do it for yourself and your mom. Peace and blessings to you ❤️
Third one definitely 100%. She was also one of the most talkative people I had ever met, but at the time initially I was actually attracted to that because as an introvert, it meant I didn't have to talk as much.
All of them. When I tried to suggest something she would say" I don't want Any rebuttal. " Once I went no contact she started calling and texting wanting to hear from me but i reminded myself " she doesn't want any rebuttal " so I didn't ever speak to her again.
My narc mother's raging and screaming all sorts of false accusations at me was the final straw for me putting up with her behaviour when I was 31 yrs old - I walked out . Four months later she rings me up like nothing as happened to tell me she has cancer . She thought I was going to drop everything to take care of her . There seemed to be no awareness that she had destroyed any relationship between us and thought it would pick up where it left off . I left her care to others in the family and saved my own mental health .
Ive been speaking on Narcissism for 5 years. I have heard it all and know all about Narcs. I swear Brother - your content is 100% spot on. I have shared your videos with my audience. I wish you well 9n your channel. 😊🌷🦄
I'm out of the situation, but I learn something new every time I see your videos! Omg, he would tell the same stories over & over. Sometimes they would be slightly different & I'd wonder if he was lying. And he would mock me, saying I know how you hate things repeated, but I don't care. It was a waste of my life! And yes, forget totally anything he did wrong.
The monologuing is something that I remember from my former friend that I refer to as Molly. She loved the sound of her own voice and would slowly take over any social interaction even jumping into other people's conversations just to shift the direction and attention back at her. I got to see how completely disrespectful and narcissistic she was when she tried to turn the day my father died into a story about herself. When I wasn't having it and shut her down, she had the audacity to say “well you two never got along anyway.” This was coming from a woman who was in her 50s, had two kids and was a grandmother. See? It's not all young people. I'm no longer friends with this waste of oxygen.
The first and third… you are the first person I’ve heard that addressed the diarrhea of the mouth syndrome! It was terrible you couldn’t get away from him and it was boring and he went from one subject to another and back to some of the others previously, and for ages. It was crazy! And if you tried to walk away he got offended and could even be triggered to narcissistic rage. I wish I could hear more about this. This was a horrible thing me and my kids were living with.
You know when you need to heal from the overload of narcissistic trauma? When you start to think EVERYTHING EVERYONE EVER SAYS TO YOU (esp compliments) is genuinely FAKE!
The second two resonate more with me. Some folks just talk a lot or talk more at certain times of excitement or with venting etc. Some are narcs and some aren’t. But us non narcs don’t generally go around idealizing someone and then devaluing them at the flip of a switch. Neither do us non narcs “forget” we just had some kind of blowout with someone else or treat it like nothing.
They are time hogs... talking from subject to subject. Random stories that has no ryhme or reason. I have come to realize that they want to control your time and attention! We as empaths must think ahead as to what we will do when the "nothing" droning conversations start. Narcs will steal your time as long as they can get by with.
2 and 3 omg. Literally everything they claimed drew them to me at the beginning was a problem for them later. After their smear campaign they expected me to just accept the apology and act like they never said the things they did
I had a BIG EPISODE OF ABUSE with a boyfriend. It got physical. Afterwards I did not speak to him for a week. But once i started to communicate and explain my pain and aguish.. he in turn tried to say it was all my fault, and then acted like NOTHING HAPPENED. Shit crazy.... Danish Bashir- your content keeps me on my toes... Thank you 1000 Blessings
the one example of many I can tell, is that when you are with a narcissist they will use that you are tall to handle them things they can't reach, and then they tell you sometimes after they don't like tall people
I can relate with the monologue narc. I met this guy, and we exchanged contacts. When we got talking to Know each other, he said so much about himself and his achievements. He never asked me about me nor gave me privilege to speak much. That 1st day, I assumed he was in a haste. But days later, he was always speaking and never let me speak much. Then I realized this guy knew just my name and nothing more. I also found out he was telling me his achievements to boost about them , not that he wanted me to know little details about him. I also found out that he made up unfounded assumptions about me without asking me about me and he placed me below his status. Meanwhile it was the other way around. I was surprised at his behaviors but I kept listening to him talk cos I wanted to know his kind.
It was how he pretended nothing had happened, whenever he was caught doing something highly questionable. Within the hour of being caught, he would walk into the room…all jolly and easy going…asking who wanted to go for ice cream…or, to the zoo…or, who wanted to BBQ for dinner?! It was so bizarre. As if simply ‘acting’ like there had not been a very tense scene only minutes before…erased, not only the scene…but what led to the scene. Yet, if anyone else had done, what led to the scene, it would have been a very different outcome. Clearly, a behaviour he learned in childhood, and by adult life…it was ingrained and his go-to ‘get out of jail free’ card. .
After a LONG monolog, if I tried to interject, the narcissist in my life would exclaim with great authority: " I AM SPEAKING !!!" and continue the monolog. It was incredibly disconcerting, such HUBRIS !!
Each 'thing' stated resonates. The VERY REASONS & more WHY initiated NO CONTACT with the toxic individuals & maintained the distance for YEARS with no regrets!
One and three particularly stand out to me he would rant for hours at me , he went for 3 hours one night while I stood there with a blank look on my face and didn't react to him the whole time it was almost surreal.And he could treat me like crap for the entire day as punishment for a perceived wrong that I had committed and then about 30 minutes to an hour before bed he would start being nice because he wanted/expected sex.
All of them. They really do love to talk and then if you aren't listening anymore they get REAL upset. I could only listen to so much BS before I zone out
I related to all of them. I fell asleep to him rambling on and on. He would rage at me to regulate himself. Then he would act like we were good. I wasn’t!
Although all three are relatable..big stand out for me is monologing.. going on, and on, and on...never even a conversation..him talking, me listening..same stories over and again ad nauseum. When I would say, "You have told me this already.." I was promptly given the " Death Stare" and then he would continue on. Sometimes even saying.." You interrupted me, now I have to start all over!" My God these individuals are beyond clueless. Thanks for reassuring us that WE Aren't the "crazy" ones.
Download the Free answer guide To Get Answers to the Top 10 Questions Every survivor of Narcissistic Abuse Asks:
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Ask them what time it is, they will tell you how to build a watch
@@Dontshootthemessenger.Exactly!❤
2&3
And when you treat them like they treat you. They can’t take it.
mhm they so werid
human deman hybrid
That is so TRUE 😂!!!!
I've thought about trying that reversing the role for 24 hours and give them a taste of their own medicine. I don't think I want to stoop to their level. It is tempting. What happened when you did it.????
@@mikedoyle7300, I've done it (such as gray rock when he talks). My narc then tries goading me into responding so he can do the usual narc cork screw to change context of what I said to start an argument. If I remain gray rock, then he'll stomp around with frowny face like a kindergartner. It could be days later and he'll keep trying to make me have an emotional outburst. Very exhausting.
@@76482 it is definitely exhausting, I wasn't really referring to defensive tactics, more like offensive action against them, doing to them the same thing. Interrupt their favorite TV shows, start provoking them, get them all pissed off for no good reason, make up the same frivolous claims against them, gaslight them tell them " you never said to do that " and if and when you piss them off just say oh I must of not heard you properly, start criticizing their flaws, embarrassing them in front of family and friends, give them a taste of their own medicine. When they finally ask WTF is going on, tell him it's a small sample of how you've been treated. BUT I don't think it's worth it because it's a horrible way to treat people, also it won't make any difference, it's not going to improve your life. Best is to escape smartly, but I admit it's awfully tempting. As long as you now know what you are dealing with, it's a game changer, imo. Take care, good luck, stay safe.
He could talk forever without even stopping for a second to see if I was still listening.
😂
I met someone once that if I sat the phone down they’d still be talking. I literally ran an experiment and left it down for 15 minutes, came back and they didn’t even realize I was gone.
Oh gosh! I get you
My 1st serious bf. If I tried to interject, he'd say excuse me & keep talking. Then ask why I was so quiet.🤔
@@sagittariusblack2879 I have a cousin like that. I did the same thing. When he calls home, he's out of state. Even his mother didn't want to talk to him, & everybody would pass the phone around.😂
His favorite line.... I don't hold on to anything....lie. they always hold grudges
Yes they say no hard feelings
But idk their eyes say the opposite
@@alyssaa.4410 you always tell by there feeling by the look in there eyes.
Narcissists are always jelous and envious on others ‼️
They hold on to what you did to them but never what they did to you
I agree, that's why they look older.
The one thing that makes me crazy is acting like everything was fine after a day of abuse. The next day nothing happened. Pure hell.
This is gaslighting.
So true especially #3 for me. After horrible tirades and verbal abuse.....always act as if it never happened. No apologies, no mention that anything ever happened. When I confronted the situation, she (my narc sister) always just glared at me then avoided me for a while. NEVER ACCEPTED RESPONSIBILITY FOR HER ACTIONS. Her whole life has been like this and has become much worse with age. NO CONTACT is the only solution, otherwise the stress will destroy you.
I have a narcissistic sister who I stayed in contact with until the time she sent me a late night message accusing me of stalking her on social media (I wasn't) and called me 'creepy'. I live on my own so had no-one to give me a hug or talk to about it. This was over two years ago and she's never apologised or taken accountability for that horrible message yet she told my adult children that she can't understand why I don't have anything to do with her as she still loves her little sister! Blah blah. You don't treat people you love like that. No contact is bliss. She always was neurotic and thrives on drama. Like you say the stress will destroy you. Sending best wishes.
@Kay Campbell: Her actions reflect that she KNOWS she's wrong & you're right!! My narcissist does this EXACT thing, which tells me he knows EXACTLY what he's doing!! No. Doubt. About. It!!!
Glaring & sneering & hissing are all non verbal communication that has the equivalent of I hate you or I detest you or I will fight you. According to Joe Navarro (a top of the field FBI profiler) a sneer is a sign of disrespect &/or contempt for another person. He has a book in which he outlines body communication signals used by the FBI when they interview suspects.
My mother had 2 children from her first marriage who were older than I am. They sneered & hissed & glared at me from the early beginning of my life. I displayed pain & confusion every time they did it for decades. (I did not learn until recently that they were feeding off of my anguish.) I experienced severe psychological damage because I thought everyone regarded me like they did. I was relieved when both of them died. In my opinion: If narcs are not demons, they are like clones of demons & perfect demon substitutes.
I agree with you about the no contact solution. I have had decades of my life destroyed because of contacts with narcs.
3 years no contact to heal from emotional abuse
They steal things you've said or credit for it. For example a good way to spot it in a work setting: you happen to say something interesting to them at lunch. Then another colleague sits down with you both and the narcissist will say that thing word for word to that colleague right in front of you. Without giving you credit (so no 'mini m was just saying...'). Normal people don't steal your ideas and act like they are theirs with no shame.
Having both narcissistic parents, I of course made narcissistic "friends" they'd do this to me all the time. That's the reason they wanted to hang around me.
@@helierhefortuneteller Yes, to mirror you. They can see how wonderful of a person you are & they want to be that way so they copy (mirror) you & your good qualities.
Oh Yes! I worked as an aide for a teacher who could take credit for what I had done or said, and tell others of her new ideas Right In Front of Me! After I talked about something, it became her idea.
@@naturesgateway teachers are the biggest narcs
@@flowers6576
"They can see how wonderful of a person you are..". Bruh. That sounds narcissistic af, ngl.
My ex used to retell the same stories over and over, sometimes about me as if I didn’t know what really happened. Once he told me, “I made you too mean.” He used to say I was so sweet then he changed it to, “Your a wimp!” After hours of telling me what a horrible person I am. He’d act like nothing happened and want to have sex.
yo same here.
They are the weirdest people on this planet
“Retell the same stories over and over ..”
Yes!! 😂
😆🤣😲🤯🤡💩👺✌🏽
But old people do that too lol
He made me feel guilty when I was on my period and didn’t want S3x. So if anyone is suffering from being with a narcissistic partner- I feel you and please don’t ever break no contact. You deserve better.
Thank you. I really needed to read this comment.
@@dreamyblue9408 so glad to hear! Just know that when I left him (as he cheated)- in 1 week, despite crying at least 80% of the time, not eating well and only sleeping 2 hours a day … I look better than I ever did. After just 4 months my hair is shiny, I started running lost weight and glowing. When I was with him I look 45 despite just turning 30. Now that I’m not with him I look a lot younger! Like I’m in my mid-ish 20s. Please don’t ever let the narc drag you down.
He tried to make me feel guilty for not breastfeeding my son whenever he wanted me to!!! (I had to children previously- always did on demand breastfeeding, it was a beautiful thing, and he was trying to ruin it by controlling it, with the one child I had with him!)
I get this so bad!
There is a device that mimics menstrual cramps. Hook him up to it.
The third one... He acted like nothing happened and said we don't need to apologize
Exactly…even tho the hateful rhetoric they spewed at you changed you forever….
Oh how true! Never an apology
Same
Keisha sounds like you are the narcissist
What I relate to, is them acting like nothing happened after they abuse you.
Yeah, and then wanting sex! That is not love….that is domination! And when I refused, he would get pissed. But I still didn’t give in.
I can relate to the first one the most at this point in my life. When narcissists approach me and start speaking about insignificant things non-stop, all I feel is an overwhelming sense of emptiness. It's so intense that I naturally lost focus on what they are saying.
Yeah I remember him saying I am the most beautiful person he met and then he broke up saying I was ugly n we didn’t look good together! Strange that I believed him that I didn’t. It was later that I discovered that it was he who was so shallow that he just threw people’s insecurity to their face because he can’t find a reason otherwise to belittle me. I remember those days I felt so low that I used to say “don’t settle for me, coz you deserve better”. I thought myself as someone who didn’t deserve him, as I saw him as someone God like! I ignored all the red flags and gave myself reasons for his bad behaviour. He never gave me a closure but it was later I found out that it was me, I should have walked away sooner but I decided to stay coz I was blindly in love, thinking that something in his past made him the way he is. Whatever be the reason, that never gives him the license to treat me like shit! I am glad I could look at where I went wrong and work on myself . Glad that I never gave him the satisfaction of me broken. Glad that I created boundaries just after we broke up and not let him use me as a sexual object. I love myself more now, not to give him another minute of my life. Hating him would give him space in my life, and after everything I can’t afford that .I am glad I have “nothing-ed” him. Thank God to save me from that. Staying single is far better that living with anxiety everyday, not knowing where you stand in someone’s life.
Giving hope to everyone. Life gets better. Way better than we could ever imagine. ❤❤❤
That happened to me 🥲
@Talisha Roy Yo speak very well but at the end so say that you never knew where you stood in his live. Ask yourself where he standing in my life. AH ! You knew where he stood all of the time after the idezlization period passed and he went into the degrading/devaluation phase before he went into the discard phase of your contractual 'relationship'. Note discarding you was never, almost never meant to permanent in his delusional way of thinking. He would always come back to do the whole circle of behaviors again. You just kept the blinders on. NOW THAT YOU DISCARDED YOUR BLINDERS AND YOU HAVE DISCARDED HIS CRAZY BEHAVIORS WITH HIM WHO CHOSE TO MANIPULATE PUNISH AND DECEIVE, YOU ARE FREE TO BE YOURSELF AND GODS CHILD ONCE AGAIN. WELCOME 🏡 HOME. 😇😊🤗
@@bernitacenteno1326 Thank you ♥
❤️
'they throw your insecurities in your face'. That is very true. During the love bombing stage they encourage you to open up and you confide in stuff you wouldn't tell anyone else. But make no mistake they are storing that information you've shared to gaslight you. After all it's 'all your fault because you are so insecure' etc etc. And you are so lucky they give you their precious time even if it is crumbs. Well done for realising that you don't need him to give you closure. His treatment of you is all the closure you need. Sending best wishes.
My narcissist could spend hours talking about herself. As soon as I mentioned me she would glance over it and move on to more talk about herself. It was odd to say the least
Mine is a religious covert narcissist with a big mouth,
Play with it and watch the behavior. Apparently it gets predictable.
Yep, my same experience with narc women
I remember my husband coming home from work and without asking would just talk about his day, not even looking to see if I am was listening, it was boring, went on and on, and never asked me about my day, I told him anyway.
They are self absorbed individuals ‼️
Did you just walk out with your keys and come home after your walk? Do your own thing?
I know every nite after he came home from work I had to listen to how he saved the company he worked for I had never stepped foot in the place and could run the equipment buy him tell me every night
Mine didn't listen about my day, either. After 5 or 6 years, I realize he still didn't even remember the name of any of my coworkers, and he couldn't understand why he should. 🙄
I put red flag, if sb is telling me about their life in deeply but never check it's effect on me, or say sth like "what about you" to turn conversation to me. If sb is not interacting with you, then watch up.
My husband talks very loudly and purposely to trigger me.
My mother had that type of voice & presence. She'd trigger people from her mere appearance. She has a sister that acts like this too. They know exactly what they're doing.
@@helierhefortuneteller Yes! They Know what they're doing!
@M Gomathy: Mine does the same thing.
Learn to Go Gray Rock from Dr Ramani video, so you don't react to a Narcissist bcs that's what they want, it's giving them Narcissistic supply, learn to be as interesting as an grey rock ‼️
what he said about my body in the beginning, then said no man will ever want me except for my body....pure Wicked and falsehood in person, and yes, he said he owned me, but in front of my attorney, said he treated me like a QUEEN and I had a huge Rock...crazy nut...what happens in the dark will come out to the light no one can mock Jeh God.
I am grateful to see such a person like you who tries to restore humanity in a world where people are becoming evil in behaviour as well as actions.
All 3, on a weekly basis. Especially when he's drunk. The talking and belittling lasts for hours. I used to say things back to him but I eventually learned to just be quiet and wait until he falls asleep. You will NOT win an argument with a drunk!!!
I love your content. It has helped me to plan an exit from hell!
@Kaye Tee: You can't win an argument with a narcissist either. I can't (& don't want to) even imagine a drunk narcissist!!
I'm sorry you had to endure that.
I in the same boat don't respond back I just nod and say nothing! Smh
The exit strategy is important. And it was the hardest part for me, at first I thought I could just break up with him. But it was all three with him too… like a sick game of peekaboo. Was he gonna be sweet or psychotic today? Had he had too much to drink for me to speak my mind and if I did it would I get a beating?
I’m sending you so much love and protection on your journey out. It’s a tough fight but worth it. Three years and a restraining order later… I’m so grateful I fought back. You will be too. ❤️🩹
Took me 14 yrs to do it myself. I knew it would go violent for sure, so I confided to a family member and asked for their help. We picked a date and they came and got me and the kids. I couldn’t prepack, so we grabbed all our stuff all Willy-nilly, and he came home to a note and us long gone. The fallout has been harsh, to say the least, and fluctuates between threats, begging and pleading, promising the world to me if I come back, even admitting how terribly he treated us. This has been going on for almost three months now. I unfortunately can’t go no contact as we have a child. A child he never even asks about, but my lawyer said it would not reflect well on me in court if he doesn’t have access to his child. So I put up with it, knowing one day it will be totally over. He’s still in the frame of mind that I will come back, because “we’re meant for eachother and God wants us together “😂😂😂😂. Please lol. In my state you have to be separated for a year before you can file for divorce if children are involved. I predict drama and maybe even violent acts when those papers are served on him. But I can’t worry over that. He stole 14 years of my life and impacted the kids terribly, and I had to get out of there for their sake, as well as my own. They begged me to leave for quite a while and that was also a big wake up call to me. I WILL NEVER GO BACK TO THAT CRAZY MAN. Ever. Whatever is to come cannot possibly be worse than if I had stayed. So be strong and go. Prayers for your safety, and prayers for you to go and have a peaceful life. Bless you.
@Miss Jools Thank you!!!! I really needed this today. Yesterday was a HORRIBLE day!!! It was also my reality check day that this can no longer go on. I commend you for your strength and willpower to leave. I allowed him to keep me a stay-at-home mom. I thought it was to better the household, but I realized it was to keep tabs on me. Again, thank you, and stay strong!
I had a guy on the phone and he literally talked for 2 hours non-stop about his car parts shop and at one point I set the phone down and came back a half hour later and he was still talking about it (he had no idea I had left and came back). I wanted to see how long he would go on but I noticed my phone battery was getting low so I said "hey, I have to interrupt you for a moment" and he still kept talking about his shop! and I said HEY! MY PHONE BATTERY IS ABOUT TO DIE SO I HAVE TO GO NOW. And he said "so, plug it into a charger". And I said "no, bcuz my charger cord is only like 2 ft long". And he says "so, just plug it in and stay there". 🤯 these ppl never cease to amaze me. I swear this entire story is true and I'm not exaggerating any of it. It was a first time call and it was the last.
last one ...they blame us instead of accepting their mistakes...
The way you explain about narcissism hits me differently as compared to other psychologists.
Last conversation I had with a narcissist- it was eerie- she was screaming at me.... so, I took the bait and screamed back. She then got calm and smug, almost as if her ability to whip me up to her fever pitch level made her feel good. Calmed her right down like some magic spell or something🤣Never falling for that again!
Exactly what happened. In the beginning, he and his mother ( she was also a narc) buttered me up big time... gushy. Then after years and three children, I couldn’t do anything right if my life depended on it. Continual devaluation. He also went on and on and on about things like his job, not just to me, but family... one time brought a school book from a class he was taking on banking. So everyone’s there visiting, family get together, and he starts teaching them! 😳. Funny most of them went into medical or dental fields, doctors, dentists, nurse practitioners and nurses. He ALWAYS told me I thought I was perfect and made him feel bad about himself. He pushed me to fight constantly. When I’d break down, he’d take a deep breath and say, well, you finally got mad.” That was a light bulb moment because I finally understood that things would never get better, because all that mess made him feel good about himself (he had control to make me angry and fall apart). Demons.
I'm sorry you went through that.💙the narc has all these complaints. But won't leave & won't let us leave. Frustrating.😠
You can learn to Go Gray Rock from Dr Ramani video, so you don't react to a Narcissist bcs that's what they want, it's giving them Narcissistic supply, learn to be as interesting as an grey rock ‼️
@@tovenrvik6336 - even better, I went disappearing rock and divorced him, in 1993… we had three children. It was devastating because we had a family (for me). He IMMEDIATELY started chasing skirts, looking for new supply. He’s on his third marriage since me. He’s kind of behaving himself with this one, because he’s 75 now and doesn’t want to be out looking for new supply again. This shows that they can behave if they want to… so they choose to be horrible.
@@bluebird3014 They are predators who abuse others to regulate their false narrative and self, they puts others below themselvs so they can be abowe ‼️Their personality disordered individuals, who are destroyed by Narcisstic mothers‼️If it's looks like he behaves now, I doesn't have to be the truth, some Narc's waits until they get married before their mask falls or their partner becomes pregnant, a Narcissist will always have a target harass and use, to project their garbage onto‼️
@@tovenrvik6336 -I divorced the narc in 1993. That’s about as gray rock as you can get. The problem was though, that he picked, manipulated, cut down, raged 24/7. Ruined every Holiday, vacation, special occasion in some way. Ie. Got drunk at my sister’s daughter’s baptism. Fell down and up the stairs. Everyone horrified. Then if anything was said about his obnoxious behavior du hour, he’d rage that we all think we’re perfect. There’s only so much a person or family can take. I think he was a super narc. And MEAN.
Monologue. Long complaining emails but silent treatment in person.This ensured he was never interrupted or challenged.
Did you bother to read them?
Sweet on text, but silent treatment or belittling in person. Usually both.
My Narc will gaslight me about saying how he wants to sit down and talk about the relationship. He wants it to work by praying on it. I have been waiting for this conversation that never happens....He just string me along
Cut him off!
@@vhayashi7369 I so agree.
You cannot reason with an unreasonable person.
All of these things resonate with my personal experience, but the thing that really hit home the most was when you said They Own You. He definitely feels like this to the point that I have been frozen in fear of leaving for years. I have made huge steps over the past month since throwing him out. I’m scared of how he will react to some of the things I have done when he finds out. Praying for safety for my family and all the sweet people who are in the same or similar situation.
John eckhardt book prayers that route demons and break curses . . ignore the title its amazing there IS YOUR HELP -
I will pray for you. Get close to God and Jesus now. I have spoke verses over my issues and fears of the narc. My favorite one is exodus 14:4, “The Lord will fight for you and you have only to be silent”. You can defeat these people with prayers for deliverance and use the scripture to fight back! It works miracles!!! Mine lost the whole divorce...I got everything....and I never had to go before the judge!!! Praise God for delivering me from the hands of evil ones!!!
He is the enemy, leave in silence, you don't reveal your plans to your enemy‼️Narcissists isolates their target from family and friends, they are obsessed with control and makes their target weaker and easier to control, by removing others from their life‼️The target of a Narcissist stands alone, the day she or he want's to leave the predator, it's possible to seek help from your Doctor and tell what you are living wt, Narcissistic abuse, and ask about help to get a roof over your head ‼️If you'll ask your Doctor to get an Psychologist, the person can be your support and witness, the Narcissist can't do much harm then, the Psychologists can also help you wt much and know your rights‼️Get evidence in texts, witnesses and recordings, so you can go to the Police and put the Lunatic behind bars or get an restraining order on the non human‼️Many woman puts on the recorder on the phone, when the Narcissist begans to rage or has their blame and blameshift‼️Narcissists needs their target, but the target don't needs them‼️
I can relate and amen prayers going up for those going through the transition process of freedom from narcissist abuse
After abuse he did as if nothing happens ...
so that why he talks so much he loves his voice and yes he always acts chill after being abusive
Narcissists are predators, they gets happy when their partner are sad ‼️A Narcissist want's to control, destroy and dim another humans light ‼️
Yes mine high five everyone as he's proud of himself acts chill. Nobody knows the wiser. When he goes to our balcony I say stop hitting me u piece of shit. Saving up and leaving soon.
They’re happiest after they’ve abused somebody
It’s some kind of a release , so they feel better after they were abused you, and he’s left you in the hell
OT: I LOVE when he says "number third". I be waiting on it....
😂😂😂😂
This comment deserves more likes!! 😂😂😂😂😂
Me too … love hearing number third! So cool
Omg…Same!!🤭🤭🤭
😂😅😊
The monologue - must not be interrupted but obviously when it’s your turn to talk they can ‘correct’ every word and interrupt and disagree without restraint. Also the feeling good after an episode of abuse - like they deplete and exhaust you physically and emotionally and recharge themselves.
"Your turn to talk"??? What's that???? Nothing I say is worth listening to or remembering but he expects me to remember the smallest detail about his day that he told me about 3 months ago and if I don't remember I get accused of not listening. So sick of this and other bad behaviour from him.
Monologs, he literally came up with the stupidest things to talk about or just talk about himself so he could have control of the conversation. After having his loved many drinks he would start bullying me into saying something that would enrage him (into committing the mistake that he needed me to commit) so he could justify lashing out at me and discharching his anger.
Omg the talking! I used to refer to it as 'he's on one of his monologues'. The lightbulb moment came when we were out walking my dog and as usual he was talking (the narc not the dog) but I had to interrupt him to call back my dog who had wondered off too far and I was concerned for her safety. The narc hated being interrupted and sulked the rest of the walk.
😂 keep that sense of humor, gf
Narc takes out their pain on you. They cause a problem and then fall asleep like nothing happened. Run from this abuse. Stay Safe. Be Well.
I had a gf once who would piss her daughter off than go lay down in my room as if nothing happened she was on her phone almost like enjoying the fact that she stung while her daughter was crying leaving me to handle it
Austin
Some narcissists don't compliment at all, not even in the beginning. They are also extremely dramatic after arguments and make you feel like you were th one that caused everything
Love your revolutionary work!
A narcistic partner is like a parasite, i can tell you.....stay close and strong in your Self 💜
All three... especially that "monologuing"...I just walk away and start doing something else...yep, "I'm rude"🙂
Yup.. greyrock. 😂
#3, and then they act out loud like you are crazy when other people see you are upset after the abuse instead of acting happy with them now that they feel better
💯
All 3. It's so sad to know that there are people out here with this personality disorder. But I am glad to be informed now. I never experienced it to this degree but after that experience I realized that there was many of them in my life my family and seen some things about myself. Been out of the relationship for 2yrs now and Now I' am working on me.
Same. Once you see it, you can’t un-see it!,,
Don't react! Observe don't absorb.
The monolog and it would repeat everything twice.
Every single one of these are true so so true! I lived it all for 25 years. If anyone is experiencing anyone of these, run for your lives! It’s so not worth it. I’ve been divorced for 6 years and am barley starting to heal from it.
I'm glad you acknowledged the time it takes to heal from narcissistic abuse. When people say they've been no contact for like a week and are beginning to heal, I find that hard to believe. I'm out of my last relationship two years now and it's still affecting me but I'm getting there .
Ppl gets Ptsd after Narcisstic abuse bcs it is so stressful, others even get Fatique and that's a total burn out, take your time to heal ‼️
Related to all. 👍🏽
I wish I knew all this years ago. Still trauma bonded, but healing slowly
Believe me one day all this will just click. And you won’t ever want to see him again! You will be good. Peace ✌🏽 ☮️
@@Tyndalic Oh I've been waiting so long for that click!
Do the inner work to get a handle of how and why you allow it to happen. This could be the one Trust me if every one I wanted just fell in my lap, I'd be the happiest man on earth. It doesn't work like that.
Agree 100% number 3. They will totally violate you and then the next time you see them, nothing ever happened. But the other way around and you will never hear the end of it.
All of the above, but especially 2 & 3!!! 17 years of my life down the drain.
Omg true even his therapist he saw 1x told him to shut up!!😂 didnt like the truth
Relate with all three. I had no idea that they are species of a certain kind. Thanks Danish for making us aware of this dangerous clan.
Number 3, was the one that stood out, in my horrible narcissistic ex
All of them I just realized I have a narc in my life, these videos are helping me get free thank you 🙏🏾 from my heart.
Exactly what I did. I've been studying for years. You can google narcissistic quotes big help for me
I relate to all of them.
I sadly can relate to all of them. This video is Truth told.
All of these are true for my situation.
Thanks Danish!❤⚘
Learning with your videos!😊
I’ve experienced all three. I was with a terribly abusive narcissist for 12 years and I was terrorized from the day we moved in together until the third time I left and stayed gone. Even after a year gone, I still get threats and they still try to get in my head anyway they can. Plain evil.
He would tell me the same story a hundred times 😫
All and yes the pretending like NOTHING happened. It was unreal.
Number three is the most cruel and annoying part😅.
2 and 3 was a normal state in my "relationship"
Number one!!! I call it narrating the day. The next vehicle we buy better have an ejector seat because that’s where I’m trapped.
Relate to all 3!! Especially, the berating part!!🥺
Two significants in my life talked incessantly, hijacking people and conversations for hours on end without regard for appropriacy or turn taking. One of my mother’s favourite projections was ‘Xyz loves the sound of their own voice!’ I will no longer engage with an incessant talker.
Wow! All 3 things described an ex-friend I had to cut ties with. It’s crazy, she would talk for a whole hour with out me saying a word. She would put me down. I’m so glad I’m not friends with her anymore… Life has been great!
Al three.Afrer verbally abusive acted as if nothing wass wrong. He would say I don't understand why you want to carry things on He would rage and expect everything was ok after being extremely verbally abusive.
Numbers 2&3 but particularly #3. After being physically abusive he would want to have sex and couldn’t understand why I didn’t want to.
I can't relate to the sexual part, but this definitely was my father. After he would terrorize the whole family including beating my mom and abusing my brothers and I when we try to intervene, he would pretend that everything was fine. Meanwhile I have a bloody nose and a fat lip and my glasses are broken, but everything's “fine.” I found it very hard to grieve for him after he passed away. I eventually had to forgive him and realize that he wasn't the father that I needed or the person that he should have been. Still, it's a great big mind f*ck when you lose a parent and you weren't particularly close with them and then you wonder why things couldn't have been different.
@@iononcantomascrivo I’m sorry you and your family had to endure this but I hope you’ve found some semblance of peace in your life. And hopefully that generational curse ended with you and your brothers.
Peace and blessings!❤️
@@aprillewis6270 more or less. It's not a happy update I'm about to share. My older brother is in prison for the second time and my younger brother is dead. Both of them had severe drug problems. I'm the only one who never used or has been in trouble with the law. So much for breaking the curse.
@@iononcantomascrivo again I’m so sorry but you seemed to have done well for yourself. It can still end with you!! Stay strong, you can do it!!
@@iononcantomascrivo but you’re still here so keep fighting!!! Keep being resilient and manifest the best life you can ever imagine. Do it for yourself and your mom.
Peace and blessings to you ❤️
Third one definitely 100%. She was also one of the most talkative people I had ever met, but at the time initially I was actually attracted to that because as an introvert, it meant I didn't have to talk as much.
I have experienced all of this ..
But the third one happened a lot of times ..
Still going on
All of them. When I tried to suggest something she would say" I don't want Any rebuttal. "
Once I went no contact she started calling and texting wanting to hear from me but i reminded myself " she doesn't want any rebuttal " so I didn't ever speak to her again.
The end part of 1& all of 3!
Perfect choice
My narc mother's raging and screaming all sorts of false accusations at me was the final straw for me putting up with her behaviour when I was 31 yrs old - I walked out . Four months later she rings me up like nothing as happened to tell me she has cancer . She thought I was going to drop everything to take care of her . There seemed to be no awareness that she had destroyed any relationship between us and thought it would pick up where it left off . I left her care to others in the family and saved my own mental health .
Ive been speaking on Narcissism for 5 years. I have heard it all and know all about Narcs. I swear Brother - your content is 100% spot on. I have shared your videos with my audience. I wish you well 9n your channel. 😊🌷🦄
I can relate with 2nd and 3rd.
I'm out of the situation, but I learn something new every time I see your videos!
Omg, he would tell the same stories over & over. Sometimes they would be slightly different & I'd wonder if he was lying. And he would mock me, saying I know how you hate things repeated, but I don't care. It was a waste of my life!
And yes, forget totally anything he did wrong.
The monologuing is something that I remember from my former friend that I refer to as Molly. She loved the sound of her own voice and would slowly take over any social interaction even jumping into other people's conversations just to shift the direction and attention back at her. I got to see how completely disrespectful and narcissistic she was when she tried to turn the day my father died into a story about herself. When I wasn't having it and shut her down, she had the audacity to say “well you two never got along anyway.” This was coming from a woman who was in her 50s, had two kids and was a grandmother. See? It's not all young people. I'm no longer friends with this waste of oxygen.
Every argument ended with me leaving and going back home
The first and third… you are the first person I’ve heard that addressed the diarrhea of the mouth syndrome! It was terrible you couldn’t get away from him and it was boring and he went from one subject to another and back to some of the others previously, and for ages. It was crazy! And if you tried to walk away he got offended and could even be triggered to narcissistic rage. I wish I could hear more about this. This was a horrible thing me and my kids were living with.
You know when you need to heal from the overload of narcissistic trauma? When you start to think EVERYTHING EVERYONE EVER SAYS TO YOU (esp compliments) is genuinely FAKE!
I relate to ALL T’REE of dem😔
The second two resonate more with me. Some folks just talk a lot or talk more at certain times of excitement or with venting etc. Some are narcs and some aren’t. But us non narcs don’t generally go around idealizing someone and then devaluing them at the flip of a switch. Neither do us non narcs “forget” we just had some kind of blowout with someone else or treat it like nothing.
They are time hogs... talking from subject to subject. Random stories that has no ryhme or reason. I have come to realize that they want to control your time and attention! We as empaths must think ahead as to what we will do when the "nothing" droning conversations start. Narcs will steal your time as long as they can get by with.
Yes! Not just by talking... they take up all your time. Especially any private personal time for one's spirituality.
2 and 3 omg. Literally everything they claimed drew them to me at the beginning was a problem for them later. After their smear campaign they expected me to just accept the apology and act like they never said the things they did
My neighbor # 3. That's him alright!
I had a BIG EPISODE OF ABUSE with a boyfriend. It got physical. Afterwards I did not speak to him for a week. But once i started to communicate and explain my pain and aguish.. he in turn tried to say it was all my fault, and then acted like NOTHING HAPPENED. Shit crazy.... Danish Bashir- your content keeps me on my toes... Thank you 1000 Blessings
the one example of many I can tell, is that when you are with a narcissist they will use that you are tall to handle them things they can't reach, and then they tell you sometimes after they don't like tall people
If they ask you for help. Ask them for help and see what happens 😁. That's my plan
I can relate with the monologue narc.
I met this guy, and we exchanged contacts. When we got talking to Know each other, he said so much about himself and his achievements. He never asked me about me nor gave me privilege to speak much. That 1st day, I assumed he was in a haste. But days later, he was always speaking and never let me speak much. Then I realized this guy knew just my name and nothing more.
I also found out he was telling me his achievements to boost about them , not that he wanted me to know little details about him.
I also found out that he made up unfounded assumptions about me without asking me about me and he placed me below his status. Meanwhile it was the other way around.
I was surprised at his behaviors but I kept listening to him talk cos I wanted to know his kind.
It was how he pretended nothing had happened, whenever he was caught doing something highly questionable. Within the hour of being caught, he would walk into the room…all jolly and easy going…asking who wanted to go for ice cream…or, to the zoo…or, who wanted to BBQ for dinner?! It was so bizarre. As if simply ‘acting’ like there had not been a very tense scene only minutes before…erased, not only the scene…but what led to the scene. Yet, if anyone else had done, what led to the scene, it would have been a very different outcome. Clearly, a behaviour he learned in childhood, and by adult life…it was ingrained and his go-to ‘get out of jail free’ card. .
A family skill
After a LONG monolog, if I tried to interject, the narcissist in my life would exclaim with great authority: " I AM SPEAKING !!!" and continue the monolog. It was incredibly disconcerting, such HUBRIS !!
she completely degraded me emotionally and destroyed my confidence
Each 'thing' stated resonates. The VERY REASONS & more WHY initiated NO CONTACT with the toxic individuals & maintained the distance for YEARS with no regrets!
One and three particularly stand out to me he would rant for hours at me , he went for 3 hours one night while I stood there with a blank look on my face and didn't react to him the whole time it was almost surreal.And he could treat me like crap for the entire day as punishment for a perceived wrong that I had committed and then about 30 minutes to an hour before bed he would start being nice because he wanted/expected sex.
Probably wasn't even good in bed😣
Truth
Number 3 - so spot on! But YOU cannot talk about anything because "they are not interested in whatever you have to say".
All of them
Exactly.
That's a terrible way to live.... And the victims are actually going through a lot.
All of them!😢
All of them. They really do love to talk and then if you aren't listening anymore they get REAL upset. I could only listen to so much BS before I zone out
All of the above!
I related to all of them. I fell asleep to him rambling on and on.
He would rage at me to regulate himself. Then he would act like we were good. I wasn’t!
Human monsters
Relate to all 3. My situation is so complex & extreme…. Only God can intervene and stop it all!
No, you can
@@lisabuchanan6371 Thank you, Lisa B for your encouragement.
Trueeeeee true and absolutely true 🌹👍🏻
Although all three are relatable..big stand out for me is monologing.. going on, and on, and on...never even a conversation..him talking, me listening..same stories over and again ad nauseum. When I would say, "You have told me this already.." I was promptly given the " Death Stare" and then he would continue on. Sometimes even saying.." You interrupted me, now I have to start all over!" My God these individuals are beyond clueless. Thanks for reassuring us that WE Aren't the "crazy" ones.
Oh man .. yep unfortunately I totally understand
Yes Lawd.There Danish goes again bawln out narc secrets!!