Narcissit Man vs Healthy Man 1. Pathological liar vs truth 2. Loves what he can get/take vs loving you for who you are 3. Threatened by your greatness vs embracing your potential 4. Loves to talk at you vs asking open ended questions 5. Constantly inconsentent vs predictable and constant Been through all of these. Control and power all the time. Dominating everything and very secretive Thank you, Danish! God bless you!
After gaining knowledge about narcissist people, I learned that healthy people have nothing in common with narcissist. Completely different worlds and species. ❤❤❤❤
A narcissistic man projects an illusion of grandeur to conceal an inner void, seeking constant validation to fill his fractured soul. His existence is a spiritual facade, driven by a deep-seated insecurity masked by superficial charm. In contrast, a healthy man embodies a serene authenticity. His sense of self is grounded in inner peace and self-awareness, untainted by the need for external approval. While the narcissist chases fleeting adulation, the healthy man radiates a profound inner light, rooted in genuine self-acceptance and empathy. This distinction reveals the depth of each soul's journey: one lost in illusion, the other anchored in true essence.
The healthy man/woman is in touch with something that's not of this world. Always sharing/giving without the consciousness or taking credit of sharing/giving.
Ask them to do something for you. Something small. Something you would do for them with no hesitation. If they are narcissistic or otherwise toxic, it will ALWAYS go at least 1 of 4 ways (though sometimes these reactions may compound): They will act as though they didn’t hear you. Depending on how long you’ve been in the relationship, you may ask again. If it’s been long enough, you’re likely to drop the request right then and there. They will promise to do it, but never follow through. If you ask again or remind them, they will usually have some kind of excuse. In these cases, they will still never actually fulfill their promise. Their excuse is not a reason for lagging, it is the reason they should be absolved from all expectation whatsoever. Often this excuse will be meaningless or an outright lie.If you don’t buy their excuse, and tell them so, you will experience the wonderful segue into reaction. An argument will ensue The argument will be your fault. It could be a small back and forth contending against your request, or it might quickly devolve into them screaming at you. You never know which it will be. They might even say outright that you should never ask or expect anything from them. Usually they will express that you are asking too much, hurting them in some way (financially, emotionally, insulting them, etc), or attack your character. The argument will only end when you relinquish your request + apologize, or start ignoring them completely. If you can ignore them long enough, they may apologize to you. However, the conflict will never feel truly resolved. At this juncture they may actually end up giving you what you asked for. Often this does require you admitting that you don’t really need it, or that you would be fine with what they suggested instead. This leads us to reaction They give you what you asked for, BUT There is ALWAYS a catch. It might be small. They show up late with no apology. They buy you what you wanted, but it’s the wrong color, model, brand, etc. They take you where you wanted to go, but pressure you the whole time you’re getting ready because you’re going to be sooo late. Then they want to leave early anyway. It might be worse. They do it out of anger, and make a big display out of it to scare/hurt you. They hold it over your head until you do something for them first. Or, later on, they use it against you. “I did x for you, so you should do y for me.” No matter what, you never actually feel fulfilled, happy, or loved when they do something for you. Somehow, even from the getgo, there was this deep-seated feeling of guilt and fear, this sense that the “special” things they were doing for you weren’t so special at all. Eventually, you become afraid to ask for anything. You’ve been conditioned to believe you deserve nothing. Ironically, or not, the less demands you make, the worse you will be treated. Moreover, Catching a cheating spouse might be difficult, and knowing what local laws say you can and cannot do might be even more difficult. To simplify the process, consider hiring a private investigator to do the sleuthing for you I genuinely appreciate how incredible you are and your work! Thank you for a job well done digitalinvestigate@gmail. com
💯🎯💯🎯💯🎯💯 (ON POINT!!! And you are correct, I had to hire a PI to get the facts, that I felt were true, confirmed - because after a year of confronting him, was STILL getting nothing but lies and avoidance/shutting down to avoid having the truth revealed.) ❤
This is soooo good. They’re love and affection is so conditional. Which means they do things for you that they will use against you later. It’s so dark!
Healthy men care if you eat. The narcissist has already eaten when you ask if he’d like to spontaneously go out for a meal. (Fast food or otherwise) A healthy man will ask if you NEED ANYTHING. A narc doesn’t ask & only tends to his needs & wants. 😮 I’m looking for a lawyer pro bono to divorce my narc husband of 7 yrs. My 1st marriage, his 3rd. He accused me of everything he told me his exes did. Or what he imagined they did. I have a very diff perspective after learning of narcissism… Stay strong everyone. It he more we know… knowledge is power. Thanks Danish… you’re wonderful. 😊
Spot on girl !🫶 My narc husband will eat and won't care if I ate but expect me to cook big lavish meals that will be enjoyed by him and his mother. They won't bother that I was working all day outside ,took care of my kid once I get bk ,cooked food n get tired to even eat ; they won't care and even finish dinner among themselves and yet have audacity to tell me that I didn't cook enough and it wasn't tasty and they did good by finishing it without complaining!
How are you looking for a pro-bono attorney? I am in need of one. Husband of 20yrs found to be unfaithful. I prayed for information about problems and in my face....unforgettable.
Good for You!!! So glad you're getting out now and you know your worth. Honey, if I was an attorney I'd be happy to grant that request. I pray you'll get everything you need to do what you gotta do. I prob don't need to say this, you seem like you're aware of what you need to do but please allow me to say that if you need to ask for a protective order to prevent harassment or threats DO IT. You don't need to deal with him another day against your will and when you file for your divorce, do not respond to any contact by him except through your attorney. If he can get you to answer one single text, he'll never stop. As you know, they can be quite persuasive when they choose, even charming at times. You have 3 times the proof that it's all just talk. Let number 4 deal with it and save yourself. Best of luck to you. Once it's finally over for good, your entire world will change for the better and you'll finally be able to breathe again and that's worth everything to your spirit. You got this! May you be blessed and find the love that you deserve. ❤
I agree with you Denis. You feel safe when you are with the healthy man. Life is peaceful and there is no storm, no drama at all. With the narcissists you will experience chaos, messy and drama. Your energy is totally sucked out by them.
I've never known a decent relationship in my entire life. I know the reason now, we stay with what's familiar and comfortable. I will need to go out of my comfort zone to find a decent relationship.
Oh my God, if I had only seen this 20 years ago, how different my life would have been. At some point in the relationship I did ask that question, why do you love me? And he said, I love your generosity. Probably one of the few times he told the truth, but it never dawned on me what it really meant and I took it as a compliment.
I know the feeling. I've been surrounded by malignantly narcissistic and otherwise highly toxic people all of my life. It feels impossible for me to find people that will sincerely treat me as well as I would them. I know it doesn't make sense to think that way. But, it feels so real.
My ex boss was like this. Can't believe I fell for the love bombing in the first place...he crafted the job just for me he said, but once he had me, I was in hell.
So so true. They don't care about your opinion. Consistency inconsistant, predictably unpredictable. High highs, no balance, they keep shifting. Trauma. Base personality not there. 100% what i am going through. Deep lows with narracist. You always dont know how to problem solve. No 5 is really the truth 100% It is so hard to walk away but i got too. Thank you for showing us the difference.
Waaaauw Danish, this is a very good episode, because now I can see the difference between this 2 men's. Thank you so much 💓. Oh what a very beautiful background you make this video. God bless you 🙏
Thank you, Danish, videos like this are so important! I love the beautiful, vibrant green natural backdrop to your latest videos, by the way! After coming to a point where I felt like the protagonist of The Sixth Sense, but then with narcissists (I see narcs, they're everywhere...), it's good to learn more about what healthy behavior looks like as well. Things to watch out for from my experience: they don't respect even simple boundaries, they tell you how to do your job, how to spend your money, how to look, dress, feel, act, speak, behave, often while not seeming much like an expert on these things themselves and also they start it early on, very subtly, with sort of underhanded remarks. They don't care if it's your quiet alone time, they don't care if you told them to never contact you again, they'll do it anyway and act all sweet like nothing happened, often years later. So always expect them and be ready to either block them straight away or keep the conversation to a minimum, don't give them supply and get rid of them as fast as you can. You can encounter them 20 years later and they only seem worse, not better, there's no point in hoping for change, as far as I've seen. Biggest red flag: watch out when someone thinks the world of you when they've just met you, because they don't have the information they need to think that, so it's fake. Someone who behaves with you like they've known you for years, while you just met them and who makes you feel comfortable around them straight away is 99,9% of the time a charismatic charmer and a narcissist. Meeting new people is supposed to feel a bit uncomfotable, if it's too smooth it's usually fake and they're trying to spin a web around you, because they want something from you. Use your logic and don't let your ego fool you into thinking you're that great that someone thinks you're their soulmate after talking to you for an hour. It's fake and you'll be sorry later. And in the rare case it's not: if he really loves you, he doesn't mind giving you space, because he'll respect your boundaries. Someone who really likes you, doesn't want to scare you off by being too persistent, crossing your boundaries, making p/a remarks about you or your friends or family, etc., especially when they've just met you. So someone who does these things doesn't care about you, they just want to get inside your head and fast, before you see behind the mask. When you're in doubt if someone's behavior is "off" towards you, but you're not sure, check how you'd behave if the situation was reversed. Often you'll find that you know you'd go about it in a different way, more in a way that cares about how the other side feels. That's your ultimate gauge sometimes. A long response, but it resonated with me today, thank you! 🌳🍃
Thank you so much for this one Danish 🙏 it's hard to know who to trust. This was very reassuring 😊 My finace helps me so much! He always tries to understand where I am. Communication can be difficult for me because of dissociation, but he is very patient and understanding. I think coming from a family that would always say they care about me whilst abusing me. Makes me doubt when people say they care. I never know what people's intentions truly are. They are good at pretending. I love these outdoor videos 🩷 so calming.
Thanks very much Danish, you are a God given to us,we could never know this things you have been teaching us who are going through this abuse.But one thing i don't understand is that we are not able to get out of their lives.advice us plz. And why are they so foolish?
If you feel anxiety that you cannot explain at the lows in the relationship RUN or you’ll end up accepting just what he’ll barely give you. Your body has detected what your mind has not yet put together ! 😮
I learned to find out if someone is a narc is to go out to eat with them and see how they treat the waiter or waitress…if they treat them like a servant and talk to them Disrespectful he will treat you the same way
Not always true , if he is attracted to the waitress, he will lightly flirt with her even if the service is bad , and try to make you feel like shit 😂😂
#3 my family always told me I wasnt worth it and I have never met any person in my adult life who didnt want something from me without caring about me at all. I've known all of them. they are so sweet to you face while talking smack behind your back to everyone but never saying anything to you. not even when their dumb friends come to confront you with his accusations that you are clueless about. try to hold his hand in public - he'll look at you like you're an alien. Getting mad if you get an opportunity that would put you around a better class of people because tey know you'll leave them behind if you finally get treated well. And I did anyway even tho I have never been treated well. they will throw you under the bus just to make themselves look good even tho they are in your 'presence' right now - because they are never "with" anyone. I dont know how to find a good man because my character and looks only attract liars who want to put me down. Good men are afraid of me, too.
A Narcissist can equally act as good and as caring unless we fall in their trap, and then their darker side gets revealed step by step, So - being a woman or man - we need to be really careful before falling for anyone in anyway - unless we have understood that person atleast to the certain extent.
You can't talk about issues calmly without them getting rageful and insulting you......that's been my experience. 😒 I pray oneday I will meet someone who can speak truthfully and always remain kind during disagreements.
Something I did not fully recognize or understand in the beginning was that the 1000% focus on his job was really a 1000% focus on himself. As years went by, that job commitment never went away. There was never ANY room made for the needs of the children or me. We were drug along behind him from city to city because the job and success were truly all that mattered. That is how he defined himself; and I eventually found out that there was not ever going to be enough money or success to satisfy. In the beginning, I was impressed by his drive, determination and ambition. I had no idea what that would mean in the long term. Shame on me for valuing ambition above character. I am very sad to say I really wasn’t even looking for the things that mattered-good character.
A healthy relationship doesn’t even seem possible for me so I just stay away. I never thought I’d say that but I think the emotional abuse of two narcissistic parents has handicapped me in that way
Modern psychologists like to use terms ‘healthy man/person’ which is a scientific newly invented term for a more ancient concept of a nice honest person. But since not all people who are not narcissists can always tell the truth etc. it doesnt mean you should automatically trust any man who is not a narc too… Also, a healthy man is not necessarily what will make you happy.
What him about constantly getting angry at you? What him about constantly getting triggered by everything you say? Dismissing it as “always complaining” when they are legitimate issues?🙄 When it’s good it’s great but when things are bad they are REALLY bad? The guy is always insisting on taking an adult discussion into a full blown argument?? And he blames it all on YOU for bringing up ANYTHING about his poor behavior because in his mind he is perfect, a “good guy”, and “doing his absolute BEST” even though he clearly isn’t..??
An unhealthy man will destroy your self worth and confidence. They take pride in confusing you and gaslighting. Sadly Im very familiar with these professional disasters 😢
My ex has no empathy whatsoever. He was a con man for the first two years by lovebombing me. Then his mask came off, and the real him was exposed . He was unable to console me. He wasn’t interested in getting to know me deeply. He never allowed me to know his hurts, fears, goals, etc. when asked. He would rather spend time on Facebook and watching sports then spend time with me . He got his narcissistic feed from his near 3000 Facebook friends. He would wish them all happy birthday which meant he had to type happy birthday on average 6 to 8 times a day.
If anyone is picturing a man who grovels behind his wife, that is not it at all!! A healthy man places the well-being of his wife and children at the level of his own. And if necessary,, he will even sacrifice His wants for the good of the family unit. That is something that Danish talks about that took me a very long time to understand. I hope my kids can grasp this
I never experienced any parental love from a narc mother and a weak father rand a narc brother. I married a man just like my mother unfortunately never got love from him either. I was in a few relationships after the divorce and picked narcissists so I stopped dating for a few years until I healed. I don't know what love feels like.
You have said it so well. I am in such a relationship and I recognise it all !. Strategies and fake ness if I was given only 2 words to describe him not to mention the lies the cheatings the love bombing that leave you in a state of perpetual confusion !. Thank you for a very insightful video.
And when you ask them questions it becomes a problem. You become a bad person. They can drop you at anytime and walk away or give you the silent treatment.
🙄 well, I was with many Narcissists and worse 🙈 but "mines" were able to tell what they love in me (say my qualities), but it was like only them can talk about: I mean, until they said I'm intelligent or beautiful for example, it's OK, but if someone else it wasn't OK, being jealous
The point is we shouldn't have them in society ,if it hadn't developed from another parent or adult.And courts recognised its a illness.Bad in society.And a lot argue with that as its an opening and excuse to get out of people only their own selfish needs to danger point .
I have narcissistic personality disorder but indont know how this happened to me and iam in relationship for one year alyways we fight over silly thing i expect her to asked me for appolagies for what she did but she is also stubborn indeed she loved me but i dont trust her more time because i tested her on something and she fail i thougt that as she had been lie to me from the begining and i cant trust her untill she bought evedance i think she hurted alot from me what do i have to do ?for fer to became Happy please help she will lost her mind becaose of me
If your loved ones complain abt this kind of narc ppl just give your listening ears. Your loved ones are so tired with the narc.Narc break rules & promises that never end even after divorce though lesser than before.Get tired & worn out.
Seems like the world is flooded with narcissists now. Maybe they just feel like there are no restraints on adult bullies and bigots. I tread carefully. Had my fill of abuse.
Why a narc man does not want to communicate at all if they want a healthy relationship? Baffles me! They use silent treatment, and stonewalling i mean seriously...
@auniversalwoman i am at the moment dealing with one of those. Man, i thought i was strong and wont fail me, but here i am 4 years later, seeking my way out. ...oh, and those conversations where he is the best man i could wish for, those that make me stay, .....so confusing! It is real hell here, but i will get through this and i will flourish again on my own feet.
Spot on Danish. You feel safe with a healthy man. You know where you are heading. You share core values and priorities. You can trust him. You are at peace with him. You can rely on him. You can cry and laugh with him 😊 ❤❤❤
33 in my marriage but I was raised by 1 also. I've never known a healthy person.. 54 years of abuse. It is sad.. Jesus loves us unconditionally though. Can't say I always feel it but I know in my heart he does.
Narcs try to keep you from taking care of yourself in order to keep you down. This often includes very basic things like eating and sleeping. They are very manipulative in how they achieve this. Then they blame all of the resulting struggles on you.
I started taking care of myself again, after a long period of time of neglecting, blaming and being ashamed of myself.... ...and i am being told that i, for sure, have met someone new, otherwise why would i be starting taking care of myself again? 😂😂 Thing is, at this point, i.ve heard it all, and it does not touch me, but since we still live together and we have a little girl, it is hard on me and her, because he wont stop poking those sensitive cords to make me snap back at him to be then blamed and, AGAIN, told that i am crazy, i make our lives difficult and i dont think at all at our girl's well-being and peace. I mean... if i would have a chance, i would leave. But i dont find anything, i would have moved asap, but we live in a country that isn't ours, plus there are no homes left for anyone (not just me) to get, since the government in this land takes in so many emigrated people. Well, God please be with me and so many others who go through something similar.... we will get through all of this, even if slowly BUT we will be through...❤❤
@@taken... I'll pray for you that things will get better. My issue isn't a bad spouse issue. My poor mother suffered that 😢. But, I'm entangled with narcissistic relatives and am having trouble figuring out how to get away. They play games to try to interfere with eating, sleeping, my spirituality, making money, and my self -worth. Combating it to keep as much of my sanity as possible and to not let my soul get sneaked away from me is like being in a war zone. If I start showing signs of getting better, they ramp up the criticism and abuse. This tells me that no matter how much they complain about what an awful person I am to live with (whenever I dare to stand up for myself or hold someone accountable), they would actually rather keep me trapped with them then not. And, I don't know why. It's not for any work I do for them. They actually discourage me from doing chores for the most part. I think it's all about ego, having someone to hate in order to feel good about themselves and preventing me from reaching my potential. I think they see my creative and intellectual abilities as something "magical" instead of simply an ability. 🙄 The weird part is that they have plenty of creative and intellectual abilities of their own. They just don't want to bother seeking their potential and/or bother with having the patience and self acceptance to grow.
I recall my Ex-boyfriend would claim he felt like our relationship was like a rollercoaster whenever I wasn't complaisant. He would remark he felt like he was walking on eggshells whenever I pointed out his inconsideration. (Leaving his dirty dishes for me to wash when I get home from work and also made dinner. He wasn't working) He barely contributed 5% of effort while I performed 95% of the chores and 100% financing. I had to legally evict him from my home. I sent a text of no contact and no trespass, changed my cell number and blocked him from social media accounts. It's been 5 months and am recuperating emotionally, physically, and financially. Thank You so much for the knowledge you share!
My husband says the same exact thing-that he’s “walking on eggshells” while he purposely does things to push my buttons, has taken advantage of me financially for years, does not pitch in with housework, and lies constantly. It’s their way of taking the attention off the awful things they do and trying to put the attention on you so you get in self defense mode and forget everything he’s been doing. It’s maddening trying to have an honest conversation with these people because it’s just manipulation all of the time with them.
Another difference between a heathy man and a narcissistic man is that the former is willing to listen and discuss their shortcomings and mistakes to make amends and find solutions. The latter isnt open to discourse and would rather point out and even exaggerate your flaws to deflect accountability and put you down for their own enjoyment. Edit: misspelled exaggerate 😅
This is so beautiful, thank you Danish-ji. Your voice is very reassuring. My biggest disappointment was always when he insulted my intuition which FELT when something was off, denying that anything was wrong, and instead blaming me for being suspicious or jealous. That was probably the worst.
I can relate to what you said about the healthy man. The healthy man or woman sincerely wants to see you happy and successful. They will contribute to your success or share the living burden so that you can devote your time to study, work and achieve. That’s why you will never forget their contribution, they are genuinely happy for you. It applies to family and friends. If they feel threatened by you and jealous of what you have, they don’t deserve you.
Break The Trauma Bond Course:
www.emotionalabuserecovery.com/breaking-the-trauma-bond
They are demons
I really appreciate your videos. I wonder if you could do a video on coping with a narcissistic boss or co worker.
5/5 😢
My daughter is a narcissist and dealing with her is walking on egg shells can you pls focus on this pls
@@shalubanerjee308 narcissism often begins in childhood. Did she have a good upbringing?
Narcissit Man vs Healthy Man
1. Pathological liar vs truth
2. Loves what he can get/take vs loving you for who you are
3. Threatened by your greatness vs embracing your potential
4. Loves to talk at you vs asking open ended questions
5. Constantly inconsentent vs predictable and constant
Been through all of these.
Control and power all the time.
Dominating everything and very secretive
Thank you, Danish! God bless you!
Me too..but we all around the world suffering because of this narcissistic pattern in common..how to end this
A healthy man brings out the best of you!!
After gaining knowledge about narcissist people, I learned that healthy people have nothing in common with narcissist. Completely different worlds and species. ❤❤❤❤
Good versus evil. Amoral versus moral.
💯💯
2 more important points.1 lack of empathy .2. Take take take ,never giving
The exception for #2 is they'll give when they want something in return from you or want to get back into your good graces.
A narcissistic man projects an illusion of grandeur to conceal an inner void, seeking constant validation to fill his fractured soul. His existence is a spiritual facade, driven by a deep-seated insecurity masked by superficial charm. In contrast, a healthy man embodies a serene authenticity. His sense of self is grounded in inner peace and self-awareness, untainted by the need for external approval. While the narcissist chases fleeting adulation, the healthy man radiates a profound inner light, rooted in genuine self-acceptance and empathy. This distinction reveals the depth of each soul's journey: one lost in illusion, the other anchored in true essence.
You write beautifully. Thank you for sharing your insight.
This hit home 🙆♀️
I Love what you wrote.
Profound
The healthy man/woman is in touch with something that's not of this world. Always sharing/giving without the consciousness or taking credit of sharing/giving.
Very well stated!!
Ask them to do something for you. Something small. Something you would do for them with no hesitation. If they are narcissistic or otherwise toxic, it will ALWAYS go at least 1 of 4 ways (though sometimes these reactions may compound): They will act as though they didn’t hear you. Depending on how long you’ve been in the relationship, you may ask again. If it’s been long enough, you’re likely to drop the request right then and there.
They will promise to do it, but never follow through.
If you ask again or remind them, they will usually have some kind of excuse. In these cases, they will still never actually fulfill their promise. Their excuse is not a reason for lagging, it is the reason they should be absolved from all expectation whatsoever. Often this excuse will be meaningless or an outright lie.If you don’t buy their excuse, and tell them so, you will experience the wonderful segue into reaction.
An argument will ensue
The argument will be your fault. It could be a small back and forth contending against your request, or it might quickly devolve into them screaming at you. You never know which it will be. They might even say outright that you should never ask or expect anything from them. Usually they will express that you are asking too much, hurting them in some way (financially, emotionally, insulting them, etc), or attack your character.
The argument will only end when you relinquish your request + apologize, or start ignoring them completely. If you can ignore them long enough, they may apologize to you. However, the conflict will never feel truly resolved.
At this juncture they may actually end up giving you what you asked for. Often this does require you admitting that you don’t really need it, or that you would be fine with what they suggested instead. This leads us to reaction
They give you what you asked for, BUT
There is ALWAYS a catch. It might be small. They show up late with no apology. They buy you what you wanted, but it’s the wrong color, model, brand, etc. They take you where you wanted to go, but pressure you the whole time you’re getting ready because you’re going to be sooo late. Then they want to leave early anyway. It might be worse. They do it out of anger, and make a big display out of it to scare/hurt you. They hold it over your head until you do something for them first. Or, later on, they use it against you. “I did x for you, so you should do y for me.” No matter what, you never actually feel fulfilled, happy, or loved when they do something for you. Somehow, even from the getgo, there was this deep-seated feeling of guilt and fear, this sense that the “special” things they were doing for you weren’t so special at all. Eventually, you become afraid to ask for anything. You’ve been conditioned to believe you deserve nothing. Ironically, or not, the less demands you make, the worse you will be treated. Moreover, Catching a cheating spouse might be difficult, and knowing what local laws say you can and cannot do might be even more difficult. To simplify the process, consider hiring a private investigator to do the sleuthing for you I genuinely appreciate how incredible you are and your work! Thank you for a job well done digitalinvestigate@gmail. com
💯🎯💯🎯💯🎯💯
(ON POINT!!! And you are correct, I had to hire a PI to get the facts, that I felt were true, confirmed - because after a year of confronting him, was STILL getting nothing but lies and avoidance/shutting down to avoid having the truth revealed.) ❤
This is soooo good. They’re love and affection is so conditional. Which means they do things for you that they will use against you later. It’s so dark!
One day I hope to meet a healthy man ❤
Thank you 🙏🏻
Best wishes for you 🙏
@@pyadav9789 Thank you , you too 🙏🏻 Hold on and love yourself ❤️
Are you healed?
@@hettykoster9447 🥰
@@kajalnanda5806 Thank you for asking , but no I’m not healed Yet 😊 Working hard on it 💪
Healthy men care if you eat. The narcissist has already eaten when you ask if he’d like to spontaneously go out for a meal. (Fast food or otherwise) A healthy man will ask if you NEED ANYTHING. A narc doesn’t ask & only tends to his needs & wants. 😮 I’m looking for a lawyer pro bono to divorce my narc husband of 7 yrs. My 1st marriage, his 3rd. He accused me of everything he told me his exes did. Or what he imagined they did. I have a very diff perspective after learning of narcissism… Stay strong everyone. It he more we know… knowledge is power. Thanks Danish… you’re wonderful. 😊
Spot on girl !🫶
My narc husband will eat and won't care if I ate but expect me to cook big lavish meals that will be enjoyed by him and his mother. They won't bother that I was working all day outside ,took care of my kid once I get bk ,cooked food n get tired to even eat ; they won't care and even finish dinner among themselves and yet have audacity to tell me that I didn't cook enough and it wasn't tasty and they did good by finishing it without complaining!
How are you looking for a pro-bono attorney? I am in need of one. Husband of 20yrs found to be unfaithful. I prayed for information about problems and in my face....unforgettable.
Watch out for romance scammers who do always ask “ Have you eaten ?”
@@sunnyday7843 girl that's all before marriage 🤐
Good for You!!! So glad you're getting out now and you know your worth. Honey, if I was an attorney I'd be happy to grant that request. I pray you'll get everything you need to do what you gotta do.
I prob don't need to say this, you seem like you're aware of what you need to do but please allow me to say that if you need to ask for a protective order to prevent harassment or threats DO IT. You don't need to deal with him another day against your will and when you file for your divorce, do not respond to any contact by him except through your attorney. If he can get you to answer one single text, he'll never stop. As you know, they can be quite persuasive when they choose, even charming at times. You have 3 times the proof that it's all just talk. Let number 4 deal with it and save yourself. Best of luck to you. Once it's finally over for good, your entire world will change for the better and you'll finally be able to breathe again and that's worth everything to your spirit. You got this! May you be blessed and find the love that you deserve. ❤
I agree with you Denis. You feel safe when you are with the healthy man. Life is peaceful and there is no storm, no drama at all. With the narcissists you will experience chaos, messy and drama. Your energy is totally sucked out by them.
I've never known a decent relationship in my entire life. I know the reason now, we stay with what's familiar and comfortable. I will need to go out of my comfort zone to find a decent relationship.
Oh my God, if I had only seen this 20 years ago, how different my life would have been. At some point in the relationship I did ask that question, why do you love me? And he said, I love your generosity. Probably one of the few times he told the truth, but it never dawned on me what it really meant and I took it as a compliment.
So atleast I got to knw from this video tht healthy men do exist as I had lost the hope already.
We need to heal first to don't fall again and again accepting crumbles
I know the feeling. I've been surrounded by malignantly narcissistic and otherwise highly toxic people all of my life.
It feels impossible for me to find people that will sincerely treat me as well as I would them. I know it doesn't make sense to think that way. But, it feels so real.
@@raindrop1215💯🎯💯🎯💯
This is so good for us women. Never saw This comparisson before. You are so helpful thanks a lot🙏
Danish I was born in a Narc family , so I saw it all. You are spot on .!
Can't stop me from sharing this video
My ex boss was like this. Can't believe I fell for the love bombing in the first place...he crafted the job just for me he said, but once he had me, I was in hell.
So so true. They don't care about your opinion. Consistency inconsistant, predictably unpredictable. High highs, no balance, they keep shifting. Trauma. Base personality not there. 100% what i am going through.
Deep lows with narracist. You always dont know how to problem solve. No 5 is really the truth 100%
It is so hard to walk away but i got too. Thank you for showing us the difference.
Your comparisons are very helpful, Danish. Thank you.
Thank you so much sir.I downloaded your 10 questions guided PDF..it really helped me to realise that I am in big trouble.
Waaaauw Danish, this is a very good episode, because now I can see the difference between this 2 men's. Thank you so much 💓. Oh what a very beautiful background you make this video. God bless you 🙏
Thank you, Danish, videos like this are so important! I love the beautiful, vibrant green natural backdrop to your latest videos, by the way! After coming to a point where I felt like the protagonist of The Sixth Sense, but then with narcissists (I see narcs, they're everywhere...), it's good to learn more about what healthy behavior looks like as well.
Things to watch out for from my experience: they don't respect even simple boundaries, they tell you how to do your job, how to spend your money, how to look, dress, feel, act, speak, behave, often while not seeming much like an expert on these things themselves and also they start it early on, very subtly, with sort of underhanded remarks.
They don't care if it's your quiet alone time, they don't care if you told them to never contact you again, they'll do it anyway and act all sweet like nothing happened, often years later. So always expect them and be ready to either block them straight away or keep the conversation to a minimum, don't give them supply and get rid of them as fast as you can. You can encounter them 20 years later and they only seem worse, not better, there's no point in hoping for change, as far as I've seen.
Biggest red flag: watch out when someone thinks the world of you when they've just met you, because they don't have the information they need to think that, so it's fake. Someone who behaves with you like they've known you for years, while you just met them and who makes you feel comfortable around them straight away is 99,9% of the time a charismatic charmer and a narcissist. Meeting new people is supposed to feel a bit uncomfotable, if it's too smooth it's usually fake and they're trying to spin a web around you, because they want something from you. Use your logic and don't let your ego fool you into thinking you're that great that someone thinks you're their soulmate after talking to you for an hour. It's fake and you'll be sorry later. And in the rare case it's not: if he really loves you, he doesn't mind giving you space, because he'll respect your boundaries.
Someone who really likes you, doesn't want to scare you off by being too persistent, crossing your boundaries, making p/a remarks about you or your friends or family, etc., especially when they've just met you. So someone who does these things doesn't care about you, they just want to get inside your head and fast, before you see behind the mask.
When you're in doubt if someone's behavior is "off" towards you, but you're not sure, check how you'd behave if the situation was reversed. Often you'll find that you know you'd go about it in a different way, more in a way that cares about how the other side feels. That's your ultimate gauge sometimes.
A long response, but it resonated with me today, thank you!
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Thank you so much Danish , I,m healing and hope one day to meet a real man .
Years of being kept hostage in the car during his terrifying bouts of road rage that my children and I were forced to endure.
Thank you so much for this one Danish 🙏 it's hard to know who to trust. This was very reassuring 😊
My finace helps me so much! He always tries to understand where I am. Communication can be difficult for me because of dissociation, but he is very patient and understanding.
I think coming from a family that would always say they care about me whilst abusing me. Makes me doubt when people say they care. I never know what people's intentions truly are. They are good at pretending.
I love these outdoor videos 🩷 so calming.
❤🎯💯❤️🎯💯❤️🎯💯❤️ FELT. FACTS.
Thanks very much Danish, you are a God given to us,we could never know this things you have been teaching us who are going through this abuse.But one thing i don't understand is that we are not able to get out of their lives.advice us plz. And why are they so foolish?
If you feel anxiety that you cannot explain at the lows in the relationship RUN or you’ll end up accepting just what he’ll barely give you. Your body has detected what your mind has not yet put together ! 😮
You nailed it! and verbally abusive in all kinds of ways of deception and lying; NON-Relational.
So good, so true! All of this applies to my sister too. Big narcissist!
I learned to find out if someone is a narc is to go out to eat with them and see how they treat the waiter or waitress…if they treat them like a servant and talk to them Disrespectful he will treat you the same way
Good idea.
Not always true , if he is attracted to the waitress, he will lightly flirt with her even if the service is bad , and try to make you feel like shit 😂😂
@@Lia-j3q wow omg!!!! I never thought of that! Why do some people stink lol
The world may never know smh 🤦🏽♀️
@@SinfulScents stay safe love ❤️
This was so helpful . Thisbis exactly what is required . Can u also highlight differences between healthy and unhealthy relationshipa between spouses
#3 my family always told me I wasnt worth it and I have never met any person in my adult life who didnt want something from me without caring about me at all.
I've known all of them. they are so sweet to you face while talking smack behind your back to everyone but never saying anything to you. not even when their dumb friends come to confront you with his accusations that you are clueless about. try to hold his hand in public - he'll look at you like you're an alien. Getting mad if you get an opportunity that would put you around a better class of people because tey know you'll leave them behind if you finally get treated well. And I did anyway even tho I have never been treated well. they will throw you under the bus just to make themselves look good even tho they are in your 'presence' right now - because they are never "with" anyone. I dont know how to find a good man because my character and looks only attract liars who want to put me down. Good men are afraid of me, too.
can you do a video on narc woman vs healthy woman
All the negatives are so true and on point. It's really helpful to see the equivalent healthy traits side by side...
Yes, what you described is very true and spot on. They never have an answer for any of your questions, especially for the live in the relationship.
This is Golden, Danish Bashir. 👑
A Narcissist can equally act as good and as caring unless we fall in their trap, and then their darker side gets revealed step by step,
So - being a woman or man - we need to be really careful before falling for anyone in anyway - unless we have understood that person atleast to the certain extent.
Thank you for explaining on this topic 🙏 I didn't know what to look for ❤
"A means to an end"
You can't talk about issues calmly without them getting rageful and insulting you......that's been my experience. 😒 I pray oneday I will meet someone who can speak truthfully and always remain kind during disagreements.
So beautiful, thank you for this message. This answers the question I have "now what?"....it is of great help.
Excellent information!
Thanks Danish
Something I did not fully recognize or understand in the beginning was that the 1000% focus on his job was really a 1000% focus on himself. As years went by, that job commitment never went away. There was never ANY room made for the needs of the children or me. We were drug along behind him from city to city because the job and success were truly all that mattered. That is how he defined himself; and I eventually found out that there was not ever going to be enough money or success to satisfy.
In the beginning, I was impressed by his drive, determination and ambition. I had no idea what that would mean in the long term. Shame on me for valuing ambition above character. I am very sad to say I really wasn’t even looking for the things that mattered-good character.
My ex valued me because I "put up with his sh@@" when asked if he lived me, he said "sometimes I do, sometimes I dont."
"Loved"
Love the background
Danish Bashir thank you for this. I have been married to a narcissist man for so long that I have forgotten how a healthy man behaves ❤
I wish I had seen your videos before I got married 😢
Very good facts, we all need to know these points, since, as humans- we are an evolving collective consciousness.
A healthy relationship doesn’t even seem possible for me so I just stay away. I never thought I’d say that but I think the emotional abuse of two narcissistic parents has handicapped me in that way
Modern psychologists like to use terms ‘healthy man/person’ which is a scientific newly invented term for a more ancient concept of a nice honest person. But since not all people who are not narcissists can always tell the truth etc. it doesnt mean you should automatically trust any man who is not a narc too… Also, a healthy man is not necessarily what will make you happy.
After almost fifty years with a narcissist, I cannot trust
What him about constantly getting angry at you?
What him about constantly getting triggered by everything you say? Dismissing it as “always complaining” when they are legitimate issues?🙄
When it’s good it’s great but when things are bad they are REALLY bad? The guy is always insisting on taking an adult discussion into a full blown argument?? And he blames it all on YOU for bringing up ANYTHING about his poor behavior because in his mind he is perfect, a “good guy”, and “doing his absolute BEST” even though he clearly isn’t..??
Danish you know it all, 💯
An unhealthy man will destroy your self worth and confidence. They take pride in confusing you and gaslighting. Sadly Im very familiar with these professional disasters 😢
The last two, definitely.
My ex has no empathy whatsoever. He was a con man for the first two years by lovebombing me. Then his mask came off, and the real him was exposed . He was unable to console me. He wasn’t interested in getting to know me deeply. He never allowed me to know his hurts, fears, goals, etc. when asked.
He would rather spend time on Facebook and watching sports then spend time with me . He got his narcissistic feed from his near 3000 Facebook friends. He would wish them all happy birthday which meant he had to type happy birthday on average 6 to 8 times a day.
Excellent!
If anyone is picturing a man who grovels behind his wife, that is not it at all!! A healthy man places the well-being of his wife and children at the level of his own. And if necessary,, he will even sacrifice His wants for the good of the family unit. That is something that Danish talks about that took me a very long time to understand. I hope my kids can grasp this
Alll valid points!!!!!
I am not on the hunt for any man. I only want to spot them instead of accepting a job offer from one of them now during the interview.
I never experienced any parental love from a narc mother and a weak father rand a narc brother. I married a man just like my mother unfortunately never got love from him either. I was in a few relationships after the divorce and picked narcissists so I stopped dating for a few years until I healed. I don't know what love feels like.
It is not a disease .
It's never his fault
You have said it so well. I am in such a relationship and I recognise it all !. Strategies and fake ness if I was given only 2 words to describe him not to mention the lies the cheatings the love bombing that leave you in a state of perpetual confusion !. Thank you for a very insightful video.
And when you ask them questions it becomes a problem. You become a bad person. They can drop you at anytime and walk away or give you the silent treatment.
All signs which u mentioned...
🙄 well, I was with many Narcissists and worse 🙈 but "mines" were able to tell what they love in me (say my qualities), but it was like only them can talk about: I mean, until they said I'm intelligent or beautiful for example, it's OK, but if someone else it wasn't OK, being jealous
The point is we shouldn't have them in society ,if it hadn't developed from another parent or adult.And courts recognised its a illness.Bad in society.And a lot argue with that as its an opening and excuse to get out of people only their own selfish needs to danger point .
What about Pablo Picasso, as an artist, was he toxic as well?
My daughter is narcissist dealing with her is walking on egg shells can you pls focus on this
Pls pray for me im living with narcissist 😢
Get out as soon as you can....the sooner the better.
@Rosalie-gv5bi yes 6 years in toxic marriage now trying to get out as soon as possible
Praying for you
I have narcissistic personality disorder but indont know how this happened to me and iam in relationship for one year alyways we fight over silly thing i expect her to asked me for appolagies for what she did but she is also stubborn indeed she loved me but i dont trust her more time because i tested her on something and she fail i thougt that as she had been lie to me from the begining and i cant trust her untill she bought evedance i think she hurted alot from me what do i have to do ?for fer to became Happy please help she will lost her mind becaose of me
If your loved ones complain abt this kind of narc ppl just give your listening ears. Your loved ones are so tired with the narc.Narc break rules & promises that never end even after divorce though lesser than before.Get tired & worn out.
All
I've only seen the bad ones 😢
They drain your energy and leave you feeling like you’re not good enough , you got that right!! Sexual needs first
Trait number 4, please bring me out of my fog: isn't a very common pattern from the Indian males?? Aren't they all like that?
You are a beautful person ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
They harbor a demon
Seems like the world is flooded with narcissists now. Maybe they just feel like there are no restraints on adult bullies and bigots. I tread carefully. Had my fill of abuse.
Is healthy man exist in Pakistan.
@danish
Why a narc man does not want to communicate at all if they want a healthy relationship? Baffles me! They use silent treatment, and stonewalling i mean seriously...
Ndp and all other people really good at pretending so your so call 5 tips or differences is kinda poor examples. Sorry
This video means life to mee coz, my father too is a narcissist 🩵
A healthy person is a truth seeker, a narcisist person is troublemaker, a liar, tóxic to the core.
@@aldelgado9343 this is exactly why the mix of the two is so very damaging to the healthy person. Good call.
@auniversalwoman i am at the moment dealing with one of those.
Man, i thought i was strong and wont fail me, but here i am 4 years later, seeking my way out.
...oh, and those conversations where he is the best man i could wish for, those that make me stay, .....so confusing!
It is real hell here, but i will get through this and i will flourish again on my own feet.
I pray your strength in Jesus name that you get out save and get out before firther damage @taken...
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@@taken... Is the song 'I Remember Everything' as powerful as it is for me???? (Also, from Kacey: Deeper Well, if I can make a suggestion) ❤❤❤
A narcissist is just a narcissist, whether man or woman. I don't even consider them human.
True !
They are demons
They're not. They're monsters in human skin.
They’re energy vampires wearing a meat suit.
@@vlynn724 Vampires are cool. These are demons
Spot on Danish. You feel safe with a healthy man. You know where you are heading. You share core values and priorities. You can trust him. You are at peace with him. You can rely on him. You can cry and laugh with him 😊 ❤❤❤
This makes me sad. 33 years and I never felt respect, peace or unconditional love it's always about what I haven't done right.
33 in my marriage but I was raised by 1 also. I've never known a healthy person.. 54 years of abuse. It is sad.. Jesus loves us unconditionally though. Can't say I always feel it but I know in my heart he does.
@@antheredhen I am so sorry keep your faith strong 💛💜🙏 send you love and encouragement
God loves you unconditionally. To feel His love you need to put a sincere prayer and an effort.
Same. I needed to watch this video because I've never dealt with a healthy man and wanted to hear what that kind of man is like
Take heart we are many 😢😢
They always lie to benefit themselves, they have no shame👺
Healthy man wants the best for you!
The Narc wants the best for him!
The narc was honest and true about his intentions but then his actions would confuse and manipulate me into having it his way
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Narcs try to keep you from taking care of yourself in order to keep you down. This often includes very basic things like eating and sleeping. They are very manipulative in how they achieve this. Then they blame all of the resulting struggles on you.
I started taking care of myself again, after a long period of time of neglecting, blaming and being ashamed of myself....
...and i am being told that i, for sure, have met someone new, otherwise why would i be starting taking care of myself again? 😂😂
Thing is, at this point, i.ve heard it all, and it does not touch me, but since we still live together and we have a little girl, it is hard on me and her, because he wont stop poking those sensitive cords to make me snap back at him to be then blamed and, AGAIN, told that i am crazy, i make our lives difficult and i dont think at all at our girl's well-being and peace.
I mean... if i would have a chance, i would leave.
But i dont find anything, i would have moved asap, but we live in a country that isn't ours, plus there are no homes left for anyone (not just me) to get, since the government in this land takes in so many emigrated people.
Well, God please be with me and so many others who go through something similar.... we will get through all of this, even if slowly BUT we will be through...❤❤
@@taken... I'll pray for you that things will get better. My issue isn't a bad spouse issue. My poor mother suffered that 😢. But, I'm entangled with narcissistic relatives and am having trouble figuring out how to get away.
They play games to try to interfere with eating, sleeping, my spirituality, making money, and my self -worth. Combating it to keep as much of my sanity as possible and to not let my soul get sneaked away from me is like being in a war zone.
If I start showing signs of getting better, they ramp up the criticism and abuse. This tells me that no matter how much they complain about what an awful person I am to live with (whenever I dare to stand up for myself or hold someone accountable), they would actually rather keep me trapped with them then not. And, I don't know why. It's not for any work I do for them. They actually discourage me from doing chores for the most part. I think it's all about ego, having someone to hate in order to feel good about themselves and preventing me from reaching my potential. I think they see my creative and intellectual abilities as something "magical" instead of simply an ability. 🙄
The weird part is that they have plenty of creative and intellectual abilities of their own. They just don't want to bother seeking their potential and/or bother with having the patience and self acceptance to grow.
Very true!!! I went through this
I'm learning how to de-tox from a lifetime of narcissistic abuse. Your videos help tremendously. This one is truly a GEM, Thank you!
Omg! Danish, you can read the narcissist inside out. Thank you for sharing the knowledge. It helps a lot.❤
I recall my Ex-boyfriend would claim he felt like our relationship was like a rollercoaster whenever I wasn't complaisant. He would remark he felt like he was walking on eggshells whenever I pointed out his inconsideration. (Leaving his dirty dishes for me to wash when I get home from work and also made dinner. He wasn't working) He barely contributed 5% of effort while I performed 95% of the chores and 100% financing. I had to legally evict him from my home. I sent a text of no contact and no trespass, changed my cell number and blocked him from social media accounts. It's been 5 months and am recuperating emotionally, physically, and financially. Thank You so much for the knowledge you share!
My husband says the same exact thing-that he’s “walking on eggshells” while he purposely does things to push my buttons, has taken advantage of me financially for years, does not pitch in with housework, and lies constantly. It’s their way of taking the attention off the awful things they do and trying to put the attention on you so you get in self defense mode and forget everything he’s been doing. It’s maddening trying to have an honest conversation with these people because it’s just manipulation all of the time with them.
VERY similar situation here. Best of luck to you 🙏
@@SL-fk3ch Thank You and You as Well!
He was projecting his problems onto you.
Never been with mr healthy man
😢
Another difference between a heathy man and a narcissistic man is that the former is willing to listen and discuss their shortcomings and mistakes to make amends and find solutions. The latter isnt open to discourse and would rather point out and even exaggerate your flaws to deflect accountability and put you down for their own enjoyment.
Edit: misspelled exaggerate 😅
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Love the new glasses!!! They look great!😊
This is so beautiful, thank you Danish-ji. Your voice is very reassuring. My biggest disappointment was always when he insulted my intuition which FELT when something was off, denying that anything was wrong, and instead blaming me for being suspicious or jealous. That was probably the worst.
I can relate to what you said about the healthy man. The healthy man or woman sincerely wants to see you happy and successful. They will contribute to your success or share the living burden so that you can devote your time to study, work and achieve. That’s why you will never forget their contribution, they are genuinely happy for you. It applies to family and friends. If they feel threatened by you and jealous of what you have, they don’t deserve you.
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