10 Things to Identify Narcissism and Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)
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- Опубліковано 27 тра 2024
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This video explores narcissism as a spectrum disorder, delving into its components and distinguishing it from a personality trait. The key aspects covered include grandiosity, variable self-esteem, reactions to threats, self-enhancing and self-serving interpersonal behavior, avoidance, aggression, perfectionism, impaired empathic ability, and attention-seeking tendencies. Understanding these elements provides insight into the complexities of narcissistic behavior and its impact on relationships.
Daniel J. Fox, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist in Texas, international speaker, and a multi-award winning author. He has been specializing in the treatment and assessment of individuals with personality disorders for over 15 years in the state and federal prison system, universities, and in private practice. His specialty areas include personality disorders, ethics, burnout prevention, and emotional intelligence.
He has published several articles in these areas and is the author of:
The Borderline Personality Disorder Workbook: An Integrative Program to Understand and Manage Your BPD. Available at: goo.gl/LQEgy1
Antisocial, Borderline, Narcissistic and Histrionic Workbook: Treatment Strategies for Cluster B Personality Disorders (IPBA Benjamin Franklin Gold Award Winner): goo.gl/BLRkFy
Narcissistic Personality Disorder Toolbox: 55 Practical Treatment Techniques for Clients, Their Parents & Their Children (IPBA Benjamin Franklin Silver Award Winner):: goo.gl/sZYhym
The Clinician’s Guide to Diagnosis and Treatment of Personality Disorders: goo.gl/ZAVe9v
Dr. Fox has given numerous workshops and seminars on ethics and personality disorders, personality disorders and crime, treatment solutions for treating clients along the antisocial, borderline, narcissistic, and histrionic personality spectrum, emotional intelligence, managing mental health within the prison system, and others. Dr. Fox maintains a website of various treatment interventions focused on working with and attenuating the symptomatology related to individuals along the antisocial, borderline, narcissistic, and histrionic personality spectrum (www.drdfox.com).
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Dr. Fox’s website: www.drdfox.com/
Facebook: / appliedpsychservices
Twitter: / drdanieljfox1
LinkedIn: / drdfox
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Amazon Author’s Page: amazon.com/author/drfox
Videos edited by Emil Christopher: emilchristopheredits@gmail.com
Thank you for your attention and I hope you enjoy my videos and find them helpful and subscribe. I always welcome topic suggestions and comments.
00:00 Introduction
00:11 What is narcissism?
01:14 Grandiosity
03:10 Variable self-esteem
03:20 Superiority -Assertiveness
04:30 Reactions to perceived threats to self-esteem
07:13 Self-enhancing interpersonal behavior
07:56 Self-serving interpersonal behavior
08:06 Fail to reciprocate favors from others
09:04 Avoiding
09:35 Enlisting
12:40 Perfectionism
13:42 Impaired empathic ability
15:12 Attention seeking
17:06 Socioeconomic dysfunction
There's a lot of shrinks on UA-cam. Daniel Fox is head and shoulders above them. Thanks for all your hard work Dr. Fox.! YOU ROCK!
Right, lets call it shrink tube
Mental health facilitators.
Amén Amén Amén ✨☀️✨
So much confusion on narcissism, thank you for clarifying.
Why they are called shrinks if they make people grow?
Yes, I realized I am very narcissistic while not having the disorder. As I have aged and grown I have reflected and stopped being so selfish. I used to be so full of myself. Life and reality has humbled me.
Not sure if anyone is going to read this but if you're wondering if you might be a narcissist maybe it will clear the landscape.
1. I used to lie when I felt bad about myself. I'd lie about stories or achievements. But around 20 I stopped because I realized I wasn't really connecting with others and I found some friends who loved me for myself and I didn't feel I needed to impress them. (Find your tribe and be authentic) if you choose friends over admiration, you're gonna be alright. Keep going.
2. I used to have a real lazy streak. (Still struggle with procrastination) part of this was not taking treatment for my adhd, but it was also because I didn't realize the confidence you can gain from just being able to be stable for yourself, and if you can, being stable for someone else feels amazing. Knowing that you have something to offer someone by way of employment or providing for a love one feels really fulfilling.
3. Arrogance: I was really into activism and I used to be very religious in my early 20s. At some point I realized that activism isn't a bad thing per se, but I can do so much more good by just investing in my own little circle of influence. Taking care of my health, yard, relationships, and car make a difference. It may seem small but you'll notice that once you start dealing with your own chaos, you don't have the time to try to morality to anyone else, and if people do bring a problem to you, you'll be full of compassion and empathy for your brother or sister. As far as the religious stuff, don't be proud. We are all lost in the woods and slowly walking out. It's super confusing and encourage those who are trying and loving.
4. Stop trying to impress other people. This one is hard. especially if you were denied attention as a kid. I know it hurts and you think that being an impressive man or woman will make everything better. It won't. It's never ending. Do things because you enjoy them. Do things because they interest you. Find out who you really are without all the pomp. Do what you love and you will love being alone.
5. No one else can soothe your pain. They can hold you. They can encourage you. They can understand. But you are the only person who can heal your pain. Don't expect others to read your mind, to know what you need, or to be able to save you from disappointment. They can't. Dig in and face the pain. Work through those old wounds.
6. This one is part of healing. Revise your self-description. If you've changed, forgive yourself and update the way you see yourself. Stop shaming yourself cause you were bad. . cause you're not anymore. You did the work. You changed for the sake of love for your fellow man and woman, for your family, for your lover, for yourself. A bonus of this is that you will love the unlovable. You will feel compassion for the self-aware narcissist. You'll see them try and you'll celebrate their efforts and their victories. You'll understand their disappointment when they fail.
Gratitude: no longer feeling like you deserve better, you will being to be so grateful for any opportunity or any relationship. You'll cherish the people who choose to love the broken and narcissistic you. You'll be grateful for your job, your health, and everything. You'll stop thinking about where you should be by now, and start thinking about how far you could have sank.
7. This is the last thing I've noticed about myself and maybe everyone's journey is different but maybe this is you too. You will have difficultly containing your empathy once you stop blocking it. You will be more observant to the feelings of others. You'll see the good and the bad. You might cry a lot. Sometimes I start out with tears for someone else, then they turn into tears for my own pain, then joy for how far I have come from that constant pain.
Please don't give up. Don't get so sad that you think there isn't hope. There is. It takes time and you might be alone for most of it but be diligent and you can recover your true self. You'll never be perfect. But you can be connected. I promise that average can feel really great. It's gonna be ok. And eventually it's gonna be better than ok.
Thank you for writing all this
@whitewings2363, those "pages from your life journal" were inspiring. For issues and challenges other than NP/NPD as well. Glad you shared them here with us. - Oh yes, let's keep slowly walking out of the woods...
Your honesty and reflection has me in tears. Thank you for sharing.
I am expecting the same things, so glad a fellow one in christ has shared this
@whitewings2363, I am just curious and if I may ask, when did you realize that you are narcissistic and did you undergo counseling to slowly changing your behavior? Or the grace of God plays an important role in changing your character. Thanks.
I can’t believe how amazingly accurate this is. My partner knew something wasn’t right with his emotions but he could never explain what it was, but he constantly is seeking happiness even at age 61. Unfortunately his happiness is the attention of many women.
Thank you for the refresher course on narcissism. You can’t over-educate us about this topic!
I'm interested in self-selecting out of bad relationships and how to safely do so.
After watching this I’m trying to decide if everyone I’ve ever dated is a narcissist or if it’s me.
Lol it is always both people contributing to the relationship. But people have wounds that keep attracting the same kind of person over and over until the wounds are healed.
When you look at the people who raised you and you see narcissism (it usually is more than one in a family unit), you can rest assured that you're at least twice as likely or more on average to date narcissists in the future. From childhood, your brain is mapping itself out and deciding what is normal and how to act. Your childhood blueprints your future. I've dated many, many narcissists or those with those tendencies. Best course of action: work on you and what you deserve, work on your self worth and realize that what you may have been taught is acceptable behavior is actually less than you deserve if not abusive.
Good luck. :)
Lamina Odol I relate so much to that my dad was narcissistic and I end up falling in love with people who have traits similar to my dad, anger and narcissistic traits. Which is weird to say since they are my parents, 😳
@@pmatcha i think that applies to myself, but how do you rewire yourself? because indeed i always attract these people in my life, strangely, other people do not seem as interesting to me
Kurt, exactly👍👍
Thank you so much for this eye opener! Unfortunately it took me over 40 years of marriage to understand the relationship wasn’t all my fault. I think this was explained very well!
20+ plus years for me. It was not our fault. Didn't know. Was nervous explained or warned as if it didn't exist.
Yes, I hear that. 😢
I have been in a tumultuous 8-yr relationship with a person with NPD and I have BPD. We are currently broken up (again!) But, with your help I finally understand our issues and it helps me see why we don't belong together at all. Not just his issues but how and why I react the way I do. It gives me strength and helps me not blame myself. It isn't love at all...just a Trauma Bond. This is all part of a cycle. Understanding makes it less painful. Thank you, Dr.Fox!
Spike Sayen, you deserve better
Bpd and npd people attract one another
The person with npd will literally yell at you and be a pos to you, when you're trying to help. I fucking hate people that play the mental health card
I hope that you are doing well!!!
@@truthh8597 Yeah because a lot of BPD sufferers are empaths. They just give and give and give.
This was brilliant. As a clinician I am surrounded by this on a daily basis. Well explained 🙂
Damn so this is norma?
I think i should reach out life
@@Muthafukinhippy yes for many people
Your colleagues?
Relatively common in clinicians and scientists I believe.@@ad6417
My mother used to say she " suffered more than her wildest dreams" . She is much more grandiose in her old age because she has no responsibilities and gets waited on hand and foot by my brother .
Maybe the first educational video content on this I've seen which portrays narcissists in a way that feels sympathetic but realistic and not dramatic. So much content in this genre seems interested in portraying narcissists only as extremely pitiful or outright monstrous (sometimes both).
I feel the same way. Especially the videos with headlines such as „ how to break the narc“ „ make the narc suffer“… it’s terrible
My narc always told grandiose stories about himself. In every situation he was the hero, the humble man, the one who helped people. But when I needed him the most, he was never emotionally available. He never helped me in any ways that I needed, and he never asked me questions about how I was feeling with the intention of helping me or encouraging me. When he did say something nice, it was always really fake and empty and it always felt like he was saying that because he thought he SHOULD say it rather than saying it because he actually felt that way. He was there with kind SOUNDING words, but his words were never backed by any action, and I was too scared to say anything out of fear that he would “leave me.” How I wish I had said something sooner.
experiencing same situation now. I am preparing to get courage to discard him, I'm just looking for the right word to tell him I'm done with him. Really exhausting relationship, it affects me emotionally badly.
On day 28 of trying to break free. Because of my codependency and tramua bonding due to the NPD abuse I probably wouldn't have even tried, but the cheating involved now and probably more incidents then I want to know about. I thought I could stay he makes me feel so guilty. How did you do it?
Currently going through a divorce with a narcissist 😩😩😩😩. All along I thought I was crazy but there is an actual diagnosis for his behavior 😒.
Me too. Hopefully your not codependent. It's a nightmare.
The more you learn about the mental states around you, and inside you, it is necessary to recover. There is a name for the events, outside & inside. Give it a name and you can deal with it. Co-dependency can need attention too. Identify what these feelings mean and name them. You can then find a different way through to the other side.
You will thank God, believe me!
Right
Hope no kids involved, it was hell for me and the families involved.
I definitely freak out and self shame when I make a mistake. I’m learning that it’s ok…to screw up. I don’t like to see others in pain, and have no desire to belittle or manipulate another. I have a lot of empathy, thank god, lol.
So glad I found your channel- wonderful.
I work alone with 3 coworkers on a remote work site. Our team lead has mental issues you have explained. The lead is a golden boy in the company, and because we work at a remote site without supervision, he writes the narrative. To our company, whatever he says is happening at work is reality. He seemed offended by the high salary of a lesser experienced new hire, I watched him break this man down mentally. He tries his hardest to schedule his week so as to not be able to see his kids. Eventually got his pay cut about 25% by campaigning to our company his “lack of abilities”. Later on he laughed about all this. I am extremely worried about becoming a target of this person.
Pardon me Dr at your ping-pong sound effects are spot on and very impressive
I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.
@@DrDanielFox I’ve had bad experiences in therapy, so I’m always reluctant, but I learned stuff about myself and my spouse by watching a couple of your videos
10:21 This part really stood out to me and resolved a lot of confusion about why my NPD ex-boyfriend always chose him enabling friends and family and even strangers over me most of the time. It's because they expected less from him and rarely held him accountable, unlike me. It helps to explain why he walked out on me, only telling me that he had once he was halfway across the country. Thanks so much for this information!
Same thing I experienced. You are not alone.
I feel terrible that a human lives with so much inner pain, so sad. But, I know we have to stay away from them to save ourself. Thank you for your videos.
I can be really humble on the surface as a narcissist because my behaviour has generally improved over time but the humility breaks down when I'm presented with tougher and more real situations.
The one that I recently dated seemed like he would lose his temper if scenarios did not play out the way he expected. Like he had played something out in his mind and when it didn’t come to fruition then it was the end of the world. It was constantly mentally draining. Starting to feel relieved to be discarded.
OpinionOfAGem, you don't deserve to be with a narcissist!
@@lioydwilliams1850 no one deserves it.
@@OpinionOfAGem Yeah.I am Lioyd from the States.You?
@@OpinionOfAGem which country are you from?
Yep, I have been abused. Wow. That's the first time I really actually said that, and wrote it! I wonder what a person needs to do to protect themselves.
I’m on a journey to understand. My father has many traits of the Class B personality disorders. He was misdiagnosed as a special category of Bipolar 2 where the manic cycle is expressed as rage. Indeed, rage is a huge part of his personality, but he’s not bipolar. He has lots of traits of class B personality disorders. I see a few of these in myself, but I pale in comparison to him. Children of such people are the ones who really pay for the parent’s disorder.
Mannn I won’t lie I am Narcissistic selfish and controlled by anger Bc of a dark passed... and i can’t do it nomo I see I hurt ppl and I didn’t care but now I do I wanna change so happy I watched dis to fully understand
Yo...my ex boyfriend scored 10/10 and met all the other requirements. I've done more research too and he meets everything. Thank you so much for breaking it down so perfectly.
This is so me! Struggled with my emotions and self-control since childhood and only as an adult do I realise it's NPD.
@@justinporter2117 That is the easy way out, I want personal connections
I hope that you are working on yourself. And doing well.
I encountered a lot of manipulation and callousness. It's like running into a wall; it's brutal. I shut down or cry. I am hoping that by being more educated I can call it out and/or leave the situation/relationship. Better boundaries means a better life.
Brilliant clear explanation. Choice is power. 20yrs of marriage with a diagnosed NPD husband that ended with his psychotic break was my journey. I'm obviously co dependant and a survivor. If only we had You Tube and you!!! Years ago. Thank you and grateful to you for explaining what I could never understand.
Yes so glad we have this info now!
how did he get his diagnosis? my bf is so selfish that he refuses to go to a neurologyst/psychologyst/psychiatry... He's like he's better than that, he doesn't need help, he don't trust what they could say about him because they don't really know him. He (of course) refuses to go to couple's therapy together. I'm just doomed to keep struggling with this 😔 We've been 13 years together. I do love him, not everything is bad, but when things are bad, they're *really bad* ...
Having been raised by N parents , father ONarc - laughably full of himself (and violent) and mother a CNarc - this one took some time to figure out because of the hidden and undermining - surely the example of horrid behaviour has rubbed off on me although I don't think I'm narcissistic by nature . Their scapegoating , raging , attention demanding ways turned me into an avoidant type with some borderline features. I went no contact with them more than 2 decades ago - couldn't take the rage and drama anymore . Three of my siblings remained connected - the ones that were never scapegoated - and prefer to deny the violence and totally screwed up things that went on behind closed doors ever happened . Maintaining 'the BIG FAKE' for public display is all consuming as it was for the parents . Jeckyl and Hyde personalities - street angel , home devil - and all that are certainly applicable here . Of course I went on to marry a CNarc like my mother and he had an ONarc mother who mercifully died a few years ago . Some days I just feel like giving up . I'm so sick of this type of behaviour but really don't expect to ever escape it .
Wow, my family as well! I left the narc husband and live in peace now.
So I recognize some of those toxic behaviors in myself and I feel terrible about it. I'm 50 and with years of therapy on myself and I know I bring pain to others when I behave like that and that kills me. I cannot control it; it's beyond me. I've been afraid of myself for the last few years and I see no escape. I feel betrayed by myself, trapped in myself, and I see no exit door. I don't know if this is one of those "my pain is way bigger than yours" thing but I can assure you it's terrifying.
I am the way, the truth, and the life. John 14:6. But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you. My peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. John 14:26-27.
Ask, and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. Matthew 7:7. God bless!
You are dead on! My soon to be ex would even argue that his son suffered anxiety more than anyone ..I guess his son being an extension of him made the suffering somehow his. Thank you for doing what you do. Narcissistic abuse is life changing.
I deal with these types damn near everyday but I don't put too much energy into that nonsense because it can be draining!
They always running they mouths, jumping to conclusions with no facts or sense of understanding, end up looking stupid and still have the nerve to continue with the same pattern of behavior as if they've done nothing wrong. Those types of people are the main reason I stay mostly to myself because they'll mess up everything without a care in the world!!!
"Take heed & always pay attention!"
It can be tough dealing with that negativity, but it's great that you're able to let it roll off your back!
@@DrDanielFox It's either let it roll or them people got a permanent place for you (literally)!
My Dad is a textbook covert narcissist and with the help of therapy I’m starting to realize I am as well. Which is a very strange feeling because I’m becoming aware that I’ve been quite toxic in past relationships and in my overall view of life and my place in the world but at the same time I can’t stop. I’m still unwilling to admit that I’m wrong and not special which creates crazy cognitive dissonance.
You can change this course for yourself. Insight is a key factor. Be well.
Thank you, back in the 60s and 70s I was at the hands of someone you just described. 3 very young kids who just lost there Dad, Mother brought him home from a casino in a big flash car and never left. I was diagnosed with BPD and CPTS. He’s the cruelest man I have ever met. Thank you for explaining Nacissism to me, I just thought he is evil.
He is evil
Omg, my brother literally has all of these signs. Mind blowing stuff here, my mom doesn't care nor understand because she doesn't challenge his inferiority complex but I do. I've called him out on his bullshit and disrespect multiple times or done things that inconvenient him slightly and he freaks out wayyyy more than the average person. My mom is too understanding of him and that just grooms his self confidence. He also has absolutely no empathy for others and only cares about himself and projects that constantly.
Loved the part about the "narcissistic wound" !
The pet the kitty comparsion is genius. This describes their needs just perfectly.
I have BPD. And I have a family member that is narcissistic. Thank you for the information. He's about hard to handle man. Educate me! I'm sharing this with his mother.
Your videos were recommended to me by a fellow survivor of narcissistic abuse. I really enjoyed this video and I think I will be listening to this one again, there were a few elements which were new to me, but which made perfect sense to me with my experience (narc mother and spouse, possibly also adult child) of these people. Keep up the good work!
Solid video with spot-on insights. Very well done. Thank you for sharing your knowledge so succinctly!.
One of the best explanations I’ve seen on internet. Thank you for this great video.
Strange to me on the subject of Cluster B, narcs, borderlines, and so forth that I've only heard Sam Vaknin mention it's relation to mood, just recently.. despite having watched the pro's and amateurs talking about it all for a couple years now. Or idk, I may be ignorant of the full course of treatment which you use. But wow.. having transcended what I called Grudge Self or Ugly Ego in childhood, I think happiness/sadness is massively part of the problem. Narcs especially are the wounded inner child.. so that resolving that seems paramount, alongside of encouraging and developing a strong pursuit of happiness.
Awesome content Dr. Fox. Happy to know the reasons behind the complex behaviors of the people which are not easy to understand without these studies. Thanks a lot for all your videos. Please keep posting more videos and I see it is helping many people to know if there have any such traits or they can make sure to be aware of such personalities.
Dr. fox , really you are an expert. Unlike other youtube channels, you explained narcissism with examples and details. Superb.
Oh my goodness. This is the best video I have seen on the subject. I have consumed so much content trying to heal from a toxic relationship. Thank you for this explanation.
Yes please ! To self select / relationship video. Thankyou so much for all you do. You understand so clearly and help immensely .
Thanks for the excellent explanation. Took me over 20 years of marriage to understand this, with loads of help from counselors. My ex qualifies on pretty much all 10 points.
Add jealousy to that list too - the (infamous) green eyed monster that wakes up whenever someone else gets attention, kudos, etc.
Her behavior once almost left me stranded several hundred miles away from home. When I tried to discuss that with her, she merely shrugged her shoulders and said that she didn't think that might happen.
Oh well! I've been free of her for over a decade now and much happier.
Yes and wow.
My wife and I have been learning through why we both have attracted troubled people/ex's and your instruction here is very helpful, particularly b/c we recognize that we both fall on the spectrum to some extent ... we're musicians and artists and it can be a fine line, I know, between healthy pride in one's work and basking in flattery when it comes.
I'm a retired middle school teacher and saw quite a few children of hardcore narcissists during my 25 yrs being with them 5 days a week. Teachers necessarily need to be able to read nuances, and it always broke my heart to see a normal kid, convinced by a parent that they were - in fact - socially above others, struggle to walk that line with sweet kids who were off-limits. We've gone to churches that seemingly manufacture narcissism through demanding and rewarding what I call 'brand loyalty', and overtly not loving neighbors who don't choose the same pigeonholes. And don't bring up any instructive Scripture. Hell, no. I could go on ...
Thank you Dr. Fox, I'm learning so much from you. It's essential to invest time in arming ourselves with this knowledge to be able to live a better life and maybe even to be able to protect someone if needed.
Thank you Dr. Fox, that was a great explanation.
It's interesting that I've noticed BPD and NPD can get together and wondering how common it actually is.
Outstanding. You are so calm and collected. A very emotional subject treated with composure, logic and empathy. Fantastic.
This video was a complete 180 for me. I looked up this video because I thought a friend of mine was a narcissist, but then I realized I was hitting every single criteria for a narcissist. I’m a very chill person outwardly, but inside I’m constantly needing admiration from other people subconsciously. Also when anyone annoys me, I plan on how I’m gonna “pay them back” by being super successful, and I have these “fantasies” of having an amazing life. I’m also super passive aggressive and my emotions are extremely variable. I always thought social anxiety was my main issue, but I think a lot of my internal conflict is from narcissism and social anxiety. I never even thought I was a narcissist but now I can clearly see it.
Thank you, this is really clear and helpful. We hear so many things about this subject.
Thank you for this clear informative analysis of this disorder.
Very well presented video! A very complex subject presented in a simple understandable manner. Love your videos!
I like the way you share vital info in a respectful way ..thank you
I sincerely hope you will continue to always reach more people every day by sharing your knowledge and wisdom to help educate others on how to recognize and handle a narcissist. This is another important way which will help heal the emotional and mental wounded individuals. The more healthy mindsets, the more we can build unity in our world. Thank you so very much for your contribution....
This was so GOOD!! Thank you Dr Fox - I leaned so much, very interesting and insightful.
Thank you for expanding on this. I exhibit traits of vulnerable/covert narcissism on occasion.
I'm still having issues understanding how much of each I have in myself.
I feel like lately I have a lot of these issues. A few years ago, I didn't have many of them at all... I don't understand how they could develop so quickly. I have had head injuries. I'm just confused.
One important aspect is how they refuse to respect other people limits, others' privacy, opinion and anything that they can't control. They don't want to accept other people's right for this things. They want to decide what you have right for. How you feel, what you want that can't come into consideration for them.
Wow ! Amazing knowledge and expressed so well! You are so precious for doing this for all of us suffering! My love and lots ❤
Great info! Thanks, Dr. Fox
I’m very interested Dr Fox 😊. Thank you so much for your insightful wisdom on narcissism! I’m very grateful. Knowledge is power.
Thank You for such well explained information!
This makes a lot of sense. Thank you. 100% spot on with everything.
🎉 This is thee best, no-nonsense description of narcissistic personality disorder and traits. So clear, so succinct and understandable, I feel confident in believing that my ex is a full blown narcissist. I’ve wondered for years. I’m still recovering from his emotional, mental and sexual abuse. There’s no help for him. He’s got 8 out of 10 for sure. Thank you for the validation.
Such clarity! Thanks dr. Fox!
You’re welcome.
35 years going through it now,very eye opening
Hey thanks for the input great video
Glad it was helpful!
In reference to the 9th trait: impaired empathic ability, I believe it is not only caused by relativity, but can also be from a sort of sadism(or perhaps Schadenfreude) coming from the same place as the cold aggression mentioned in the earlier trait.
Thanks for these inputs doc. Im sharing this video to a friend in need...More power to you...
Dr. Fox not only has some of the best personality disorder analysis videos, he also does the best table tennis sound effect ever 😁
Could you please do a video on how the facets of BPD such as extreme intensity of our emotions leads to more as opposed to less narcissistic behavior? I have BPD but find that as my moods shift, a normal attention seeking behavior for example morphs into covert narcissistic traits and makes those traits much more aggravated and intense. Entitlement, flip flopping self esteem, insecurities, implosive or explosive overreacting, etc that are seen in BPD becomes much more intensified to the point that it borders or matches narcissistic traits WITHOUT the comorbidity of NPD itself. Could you please explain this strange volatile shifting and how it can lead oneself or others to believe they actually have NPD when Borderline traits are the actual cause? I'm not sure if that makes sense
Omg, same. BPD with (what I'm assuming are) possible covert NPD traits when situations are difficult. 😞
Same here!
You explained this perfectly for me.
I read that co-morbidity is quite significant between BDP and covert narcissism (especially among male BDP). Apparently anywhere from 25% to 40% of BDP sufferers also have NDP.
Hi Ireland. Thanks for articulating that so well. I have a friend that a care about dearly that fits that description. I've been doing research for, well honestly months to try and understand what is going on and finally have boiled it down to this. My friend thinks their issues of not being able to maintain close relationships are about their BPD but from the other side I kind of feel the issues of why it's difficult to be close friends has to do with their covert narcissistic tendencies more than anything. I found this article which to me explained a lot but am just curious if you think it's something you could relate to? When I read it I felt like the clouds parted in the sky and the sun shone and everything made sense finally! But does having this information help at all or did you aleady know it? I'm trying to figure out if it's something I can share with them or not. Anyway, regardless putting the article here in case it helps anyone with a better understanding. www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/understanding-narcissism/202007/do-narcissists-have-memory-problems-or-are-they-just-liars
@@racheluwa6386 Thank you very much for this article!
When I first moved out after getting married I was working as an elementary music teacher in the area I had moved to. Things were going well in the beginning and then I noticed how I was being treated in the job. I was told I wasn't dressing like the other teachers, so i changed how I dressed to match the women who were my age - being the music teacher I got to see how every single teacher dressed (this was at least $200 in clothing items), I was then told I was dressing in clothes they "felt" were too tight (this confused me as I was emulating what I saw other teachers MY AGE wearing) and I bought the clothes a size larger so they weren't tight on me, so yet again I go back and spent another $200 on new clothes.......again..........I was then asked to put together my curriculum for the year with help from another teacher in the county (this teacher was on the other end of the county I worked in; an hour from the school I worked at, so that meant a two hour drive). The day I was supposed to meet with the teacher I broke a tooth and was bleeding on my way to that school, I had to turn around and meet my dentist for emergency surgery.......once I got out from surgery was when i was able to get into the email to let the teacher know that I had to deal with a serious emergency to which she responded letting me know that was glad everything worked out, and that she hoped we could reschedule.......apparently before she and I discussed my situation she had informed my principal that I was a no-show and had not contacted her.......so I got reprimanded for that as well (now you may say well, that was your fault for not contacting her on the way to your appointment, which is true, however I was in panic mode, bleeding from my mouth while driving, and I had no access to email as that was the only form of communication I was given by my principal, on top of this at the time smartphones did not come free with phone plans, in fact this was when data wasn't even free - it was an extra cost; so what did my husband do?! We spent another ~$400 on a smartphone, with regular plan, with data added, which brought our monthly cost in our phone bill up to almost $130, because at the time the company also had to charge us a fee for my husband to keep his phone that did not have a camera on it (a work restriction where he worked at the time)......Heres where things get dicey.........I was late by two months on my curriculum because I was trying so hard to please all these people (by the way my principal and vice-principal wanted me to do everything differently, so not only was I doing the work, but I was also doing double the workload for no reason - I will get to that......so yet again as you can see I was trying again in another aspect of the job to do what I was asked)......after I turned the curriculum in (which I modeled after several seasoned teachers at the school - I informed the school board of that fact, and gave them those teachers names in case they wanted to confirm my story) they never spoke to me again until after Jan. 1......to which they told me I could either resign my post or they would turn in the paperwork stating that they were not going to renew my contract.........so I decided, you know, I'm done at this point......I no longer care.......so I told them yes, I would resign my post that minute (I still had to finish teaching that year), I later discovered like three months later that the vice-principal (whom I do not think liked me from the start, thats okay, because the feeling was mutual, I could tell in the way he spoke down to me) marked up my curriculum (the school board office showed it to me, it wasn't given back to me at the school), putting notes in it that he didn't understand why rhythm was an on-going concept being taught over the whole school year, and as new rhythms were introduced they were added to the repertoire, same idea with note reading, and recorder playing (so confusion set in again as the date he marked on it with his red pen was only a week after I gave it to him - that was in mid-November, and the school board told me it was given to them at the same time as my resignation paperwork, which I signed like two months later)......in essence he basically told the school board I was a crap teacher by marking it up the way he did and gave it to them, basically telling them they wanted nothing to do with me. When I was asked by the school board if I wanted to plead my case about my experience, not only did I explain what happened to me I had the receipts to back it up. I'm giving back story - when my parents kept pressuring me to spill the beans about me losing my job and I told them three times politely that I wasn't ready to talk about it yet, because it was still a fresh, bad experience and I wasn't mentally prepared to deal with it, they turned around and told me "I don't understand why you can't talk to us like an adult, why do you have to be such a child about it?!" Because after the fourth time I blew up at them and told them to stop asking me.......so I ask your viewers......is that really a healthy relationship with your parents?! I think not........After that i stopped talking to them about anything important, because it was always about them telling me how I should handle parenting my children, that they way I'm doing it is wrong, and that if I'm going to act like a "child" when they only want to have a "conversation" then I shouldn't bother being a parent......I'm ADHD who has done extensive research in the subject because my eldest is ADHD and I vowed that I was going to be a supportive parent for him, rather than a toxic one - with that said, I have noticed that as he has gotten older I have fallen into the trap of being my parents, and I am now trying to find better ways to deal with his unwillingness to help himself, his unwillingness to cooperate at home, and get him out of Stage 1 and into Stage 2 more frequently (check out Dr. Paul Jenkins, if you aren't familiar with his Control chart - it was eye-opening). Sorry, after having watched this video it brought this experience back to the forefront of my mind, almost like a PTSD episode - like I was living it all over again.......
I have the ultimate example of narcissism. A few years ago I was suicidal. I had told my x-sister in law (my brothers 1st wife) about how I was feeling. Her response to me was "if that's what u really want 2 do, just don't do it at my house". That person is Patty Quigley of Henderson Nevada. If u come in contact with her, run fast & run far. She is evil personified.
Damn! Calling her name out😂 I love it! These monsters need to be identified.
That sounds more like antisocial personality disorder.
Nah you messed up. You need to realize that when people don’t like you and don’t want anything to do with you. I hate people who bring up that topic.
Thank you, this came at a great time for me. Hope I can use this to have more faith in the relationships I've self selected out of.
Thank you for such
Another great eye opening video!!
Andrea Gibson,your pretty smile can make the news!
Thanks for all the info. I always knew I was raised differently, but I do believe I was raise by narcissist. Trying to figure out how to best navigate that relationship while protecting my kids. It’s hard. Trying to not to cut ties. It’s hard.
Thank you so much for this video. I appreciate this clear info.
When you KNOW you GO!! These people drive you bananas and they don't get better.
I hear so many misconceptions about NPD. Like people confuse the trait of narcissism with NPD. Like he said, there is a difference between narcissism and NPD. Only a small percentage of adults have NPD. Most of those adults with NPD are undiagnosed. They have a large but fragile ego, and we all have an ego, but people who have NPD have a very strong drive to protect and validate the ego, that never really shuts off. They have very specific traits and characteristics. And due to how they think, and the traits of the disorder, they tend to behave in certain ways. Many people also misinterpret what many of those traits actually mean.
It's important to understand the distinctions between narcissism and Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Awareness is key!
Dr. Fox I loved this video as it was super helpful!🥰👍🏻
Could you please also do a video on the differences between someone who is a Covert Narcissist and someone who appears to have Quiet BPD? Thanks so much for all of the information you provide as it is truly a Godsend!🙏🏻😊
Wow great video! Thank you!!!!!!
great summary
Excellent video, thank you so much. Makes things much more clear.
You’re welcome and I’m glad that you enjoy the video.
I would love to see a video about how to handle when others self select out of my life. I have borderline traits and notice others distancing from me because of my trouble moderating my emotions and other interpersonal challenges like paranoid ideation. Perhaps you could combine the 2 into one video ? Much love to you Dr. FOX... I appreciate your insight
Thank you so much. you explained that so well. I have 2 ex's that I suspected were narcissistic. Now I know for sure. Thank you again.👍🏽
I have heard much information on this topic .... but yours is 👌 absolutely top.
Omg 😳💔😭 I knew it my husband is this down to the last word. I knew it all this time I thought I was going crazy but knew he had some kind of mental illness and personality disorder. He scares me remind of a human boogeyman and he has these patterns every year from MARCH-AUG and he gets upset by the smallest things and packs his stuff and leaves the way he treats me is inhumane he always leave me in a bad situation financially to where I have to hurry pack and move because he paid the rent as we speak he’s packed up and gone left me to figure it sad thing is I knew he wasn’t coo I’ve never in my life met anyone like him or that thinks like him
Thanks bigtime for have us read with the listening. Your east German fans love it!
Glad you enjoy it!
He is the best at describing things
Thanks for this video. It helps me to understand better my past romantic relationship with a narcissist which cause me a complex trauma. After one year and half of relationship he broke up with me for her best friend and my friend too. Probably she doesn´t suffer the same abuse I lived, because he doesn´t see her like a threat
Sounds like a LOT of people to me... sigh, ...
*crawls back into my cave again*
Exactly. Same here. We are surrounded.
The thing is you aren’t. Very few people are narcissistic
Dr. Fox you are the gift that keeps on giving. Thanks for helping me stay sane!
That was really interesting about moods and relationships.
Thank you, that was excellent.
Glad you enjoyed it!
Thank you very much! Very profound explained. Thank you also for your subtitles. Makes it easier for me, cause English is not my mother tongue. ❤
Hey doctor fox! Thanks for the video id love to see about the video you mentioned at the end of this one. About identifying unhealthy relationships and moving on I think this would be very helpful to many. Would you please do this video? :)
Thank you, Dr Fox.
You’re welcome