5 Ways to Respond to Gaslighting
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- Опубліковано 19 тра 2024
- Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where someone seeks to sow seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or group, making them question their own memory, perception, or sanity. It's a subtle yet damaging tactic that can leave you feeling confused, invalidated, and powerless.
This tactic is frequently employed by narcissists and is prevalent in situations of narcissistic abuse. However, it's important to note that it can also occur in interactions with individuals who aren't narcissistic.
So, in this video, we're breaking down what gaslighting is and shedding light on how to respond to it. From recognizing manipulation tactics to understanding gaslighting's impact, we're here to provide practical advice on how to stop gaslighting in any situation.
#gaslighting #manipulation
Writer: Sid Thompson
Editor: Vanessa Tao
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
Voice Over: Amanda Silvera ( / amandasilvera )
Animator: Fleur Amodia (new animator)
UA-cam Manager: Cindy Cheong
References:
Mindbodygreen. (2021, April 27). What Do You Say When Someone’s Gaslighting You? A Therapist’s Go-To Comebacks. www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/how-to-deal-with-gaslighting
Raypole, C. (2021, September 9). Think You’re Being Gaslit? Here’s How to Respond. Healthline. www.healthline.com/health/how-to-deal-with-gaslighting#involve-others
Rodríguez, G. S. (2021, May 14). Gaslighting: How to Recognize it and What to Say When it Happens. The Psychology Group Fort Lauderdale. thepsychologygroup.com/gaslighting-how-to-recognize-it-and-what-to-say-when-it-happens/
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I was wondering if you could make a video talking about how to respond to Gaslighting when it comes to parents? Because with these sure they help... but not in my sense with how my mom is... If i try to walk away or stick up for myself it only makes it worst for me... She ends up making me feel like a horrible person for doing so... Do you have any tips on that?
How do you handle a Gaslighter who you really cannot afford in any way to walk away from? Thank you for this. I love Psychology and love to learn something new about it! ❤😂
I don't any chance
Thats right @@arjaymartin0701
I honestly find it extremely hard to fight off gaslighting in conversations because the gaslighter often twists reality to their own liking, belittling you, and speaking in a way to frame you as pathetic. Sometimes, they do it so poorly its comedic, but even in such scenarios, it could be hard to put them in their place. Sometimes you can't. Unfortunately, the best you can do is just exit the conversation or relationship whatsoever.
Gotta learn to just ignore it as much as possible before limiting contact, and eventual no-contact. Don't engage. If they ask a bunch of rude questions attempting to get a reaction, just say 'I don't know...what do you think'? Gray rock.
me because i’m worried IM the one gaslighting so i’m watching this to try to stop:
Its a great step , we all have diffrent habits we must question ourself.
its amazing you are trying to understand yourself great step!
That’s amazing ❤ keep it up! A true narcissist wouldn’t see where they’re wrong but you do and that speaks volumes. Anyone can change through the power and faith of Jesus Christ
I know we all at one point have done things to get what we want including manipulating people I know how to because I had a narcissistic step dad and a few exes including an ex fiancee and I’ve repented of any form of manipulation a long time ago and I don’t allow myself to go through it again and I protect loved ones from it.
I wish there were more people like you ngl 😂
When the gaslighter decides whether we have a place to live, or medical care, or food to eat, or transportation, or money for these basic needs, we CAN’T just confidently walk away, which is why bullies deliberately seek out positions such as parent, teacher, manager, landlord, breadwinner, etc.
I'm in a similar situation. My caregivers$ enable my unsafe living situation and breadcrumb those who pay their $alaries
_politicians_ and _cops_
You are right. These creatures are everywhere and in the positions you speak of.
The thing is; there is a huge paradigm shift happening and things will change over the next 5-10 years. There will be millions upon millions of narcissistic collapses. What a sight to behold that will be.
@@Groundwater24I'm excited for it as well. This next great cycle will be interesting to see from the beginning.
@@Groundwater24 Why would that shift happen?
If someone tries to gaslight me, then at least I’ll have my very own alternate reality tour guide.
😂❤
Wow a whole world where I'm in the wrong all the time 😮 fascinating, I'm interested
@@akashasteele8943 Sounds like my ex-girlfriend, ngl. (affectionate/derogatory)
Timestamp!
-0:40 What is gaslighting?
-1:27 Set boundaries
-2:22 Remain confident in yourself
-3:25 Have proof (if available)
-4:14 Talk with others
-4:56 Know when to walk away
Thank you for the timestamps ⏲
@@yukio_saito and thank you for appreciating it!😊
Gracias!!
@@Agent-4-911 de nada :)
Gaslighting doesn’t work on me because im as stubborn as brick wall
that’s awesome!!! i’m a dancer and my teachers are really toxic and one of them lives off gaslighting and it’s gotten really bad lately where she’s even started talking to the younger classes badly. it’s built my confidence and helped me stand up against her better but it’s still debilitating on the inside and i feel like i’m going crazy, especially because some of the kids around me give in and think they need to listen to her
@@cardigan_24 I’m a dancer too and that sounds like dance moms honey if I were you I’d report her to the board of education and directors and the BBB Better Business Bureau
lol I am too but they can find ways to! Always be on your guard 💂 around them!
@@Richiko06 it really is like dance moms now it’s crazy! it never used to be like this. also she’s not the studio owner and idk we’ve just known them all for so long it would be weird to report her. i graduate soon anyway and we’re not going back so it’s fine
Ur amazing!! (:
Hard to respond when the gaslighter/narcissist doesn't let you talk.
Had a run in with one that literally said "I don't give an F" to "I don't care!!" literally yelling those two phrases over and over again.
Then that’s when you say I’m done and walk away and ghost 👻 their ass
For sure, context is key. There is a professional gaslighter within my family and I have to see that person from time to time and he doesn't let me talk and can't walk away from my life so... I stopped trying to show him I knew what he was doing and proving myself right, he enjoys that and it only made me lose my cool in those situations so I avoid any interaction with him apart from the regular greetings and the minimal small talk; my energy doesn't feel depleated after the engagement and THAT is the best for me, he will always be delusional and I can't change that. That's the only thing that worked!
@@Richiko06 hard to do when they are physically blocking the door. So yeah.
@@Richiko06 worse they say you are invading their space when they are the one coming to you AKA the gaslighting.
As the other person said, context is key usually the people doing it want to think you are crazy sometimes doing worse. Drugs can also be a cause.
"you care enough to yell"
You have to have your own back. Protect yourself because nobody else will. Do not submit, be set in your own feelings and believe that they're valid cause they are. Protect your space and your peace. They refuse to accept that they are the source of your pain and abuse and they avoid accountability and if they cant lie then they flip it go maks you feel like you deserved the abuse. Never involve them in your plans for success and do not let them control or dictate your adulthood. If they never respect your boundaries then make plans to live your life without them.
being surrounded with manipulators and narcissists is a nuisance
As someone who really does have an excellent memory for detail (due in no small part to my own past trauma), I often get accused of gaslighting when I correct people who I know are remembering details incorrectly, and it's extremely frustrating.
It's very important to remember that gaslighting, like all forms of abuse, is distinguishable from legitimate behavior ONLY by the intent of the person doing it. The word "abuse" is literally the Latin word for "incorrect usage" -- EVERY action can be legitimate if done with good intent, or abusive if done with bad intent.
Abuse is generally defined by its impact on the victim rather than the intent of the perpetrator. There are some people with good intent who do gaslighting but don`t know that it is actually harmful and traumatic to the person on the recessive side.
This channel is carrying my life now 😭
(edit: JEEZ 62 LIKES IN 1 HOUR?)
(edit 2: oml 76 likes in 4 hours?)
(edit 3: oh wow, I never had this much likes! Ty guys!)
We hope this video can help you! What are you currently needing help on?
@@Psych2goHonestly, as a therapist who left an abusive relationship recently- How do I, as someone supposed to help others, recover from horrific gaslighting of an abusive partner in a way that helps me break a generations-long cycle of abuse that effects not just me, but my family?
It's an awesome channel!
Me too
It's a week that i realized that my mom and my brother are narcissists
And I'm trying to recover.....
But it's hard because I don't have anyone in this world expect them and at the same time I don't want to see them as they destroyed my whole life up until this point (I turned 18 two weeks ago) i don't know if i can deal with it or not.....
I really need help right now
Most people who gaslight the most will accuse you of gaslighting first. It's the current buzzword and narcissists.... especially vulnerable narcissists will utilize it.
5 Ways to Respond to Gaslighting
1:26 1) Set boundaries
2:22 2) Remain confident in yourself
3:25 3) Have proof if available
4:13 4) Talk with others
4:55 5) Know when to walk away
Thank you for the timestamps ⏲
6) call them a child in an adults body.
Whew. Let me tell you how insidious gaslighting is: I’m a literal therapist, and my abusive ex boyfriend had me questioning myself for the last year.
And then what? Did you kick him to the curb?
Sorry, I see the ex now! Had to read it again.
I'm also a therapist and have also gone through similar. So this comment really resonates with me ❤ you're not alone and appreciate you sharing.
The thing is that if you know 10 tactics of a master manipulator (while being under them), they'll bring 50 new tactics for you to decipher. This effectively drains your energy and perpetually gives them more control.
It's the time and sheer repetition of bulls**t that can wear anyone down. Gotta just let it go in one ear and out the other until you can limit contact, before no contact.
This channel has made me realize I am not the problem, that when I end up lashing out at the narc its because I'm at the end of my rope and not because its my actual nature. That if i stop allowing their threats to bother me, whether they follow through or not is going to drive them more nuts than me. I am a good person, with a big heart and their attempts at invalidation are useless, much like them.
TOTALLY. Thet get off with that and we suffer as be try to stablish limits that will never be respected. Best solution is to walk away if possible or minimizing the interactions at all costs if not possible acting like a grey rock; you know your value and the other person won't see it, accepting that is hard but also key with this kind of people.
This is such an evil and wicked thing to do to people! If people have a disagreement, they should have meaningful and honest conversations! Thanks for the informative video! Take care!
People won't
I swear her voice makes it feel like she's truly talking to that inner child in me. It's incredibly comforting.
I’m convinced this channnel has cameras on me, because every video you guys post is directly related to my life in one way or another. Thank you ❤💫
Whenever i need for help this channel always sent me a notification.
My mom keeps gaslighting me,I already gave up on my life because whenever I try to tell her the truth she always tells what she believes and states this as true, but that's false man. But now I've just given up my life on just listening to her and just telling "yeah you're right" because I'm soo tired fighting with this. I just can't take this anymore. Im just empty.
Hey I'm in the same situation. How old are you? I'm 17 now. Try to keep going. I know it's terribly hard, the thing keeping us going must be that we'll be able to move out someday. I know the struggle of our gaslighting parents. But try thinking of it this way: if you keep going you have the possibility to prove them wrong and to show her that you can live your life so much better without her manipulative ass. Try to talk about your experiences with your friends I'm sure someone will give you comfort while you still live at home
@@kittykook737 yeah.. I'm 15, I actually talk about this with my girlfriend... But it makes me mad when my mom tries to shut me up when I'm trying to tell the truth! She thinks everything is going by her way. But that's not true.
You should research being the “Scapegoat” in families. When you grow up and get older, the families you create become more important then the family you come from. Just know it is not your fault or responsibility to teach adults. They should be showing you the the love and compassion you deserve. Stay strong! Be confident and love yourself.
I’m 28 and I’m in your position as well. Been in it since I was 16. I won’t go into too much detail. But I have a disability that involves the brain, and it causes A LOT of set backs, and health issues. Because of this, I obviously have issues in life in general. One of the main issues I have is memory. I have a really hard time remember things, and other things, I don’t. There are many times where my family has used my disability as a liability, and therefore, my memory is not accurate. They remember events that happened in their minds, when I know for a fact that certain things happened in a different way. There are just some things people say or do that you just never forget. Believe me. However I always get teamed up by my family thinking my memory is wrong, and being reminded of “who has the memory issue again”. As I got older, things had gotten worse. Again, I won’t go too much into detail. But because mostly of my disability, my family has basically made me live in, what I call a glass house. Where you’re trapped, but can make dents in. If that makes sense. I’m in a spot where because of my disability, I’m judged by the disability, and not the person with it. So my parents have power of attorney over me, and things in their names for me. Which is nice to a degree. But also feels restricting. It’s definitely a war each day. But I always have hope that the war will be over soon.
Pretty exact same thing happened with me and my step dad (still on going unfortunately) I’m also 15 but I know at some point either they’ll change or eventually I’ll be able to distance myself from him
I'm watching this cause my mom has been gaslighting my whole life so I had no confidence or trust in myself. After I went to boarding school and haven't been living with her I've become much more confident and started trusting myself more. I'm sure all my problems and diagnoses come from childhood trauma from her and my dad. I wouldn't have had this amount of flaws and problems if it weren't for her I'm certain
I had a “friend” like this and they kept on bringing up all these issues and problems they had and that I couldn’t just ‘walk away’ all that time. I just wanted to bring up that there are the problem of why I wanna walk away because they’re gaslighting me. I barely talk to that anymore. They moved on to someone else and I’m glad.
Nothing in this world that's worth having comes easy.
I already don't trust myself ... even without others involved...
This could possibly be from narcissistic abuse from childhood.
2:05 Correction: Gaslighters fall under a spectrum varying between well-intended and malicious. However, gaslighting is specifically a manipulation tactic that is never a mistake or unintended.
My older sister and mother are like that they will always always find a way to prove me wrong, I struggled a lot when i way younger I lost my confidence and always isolated my self , now when i grow up i understand much they were always focucing on their perspectives and struggles but never tried to see things from my perspective never felt my efforts or pain for them they are older so wiser and nothing i think or say can be qualified and truthfull, it took me years to recover from childhood and teenager trauma, now I am good with them but never volunable, i never share my thoughs niether my decisions with them , my solution was to be fully emotional inactive with them and never let them affect my feeling and mental health again.
It is very hard openning to someone who couldn't care less about you, but once you get it you can't unsee that and the insight is key! You did the best you could with the circumstances and knowledge you had at that moment so congrats.
Learning to be your own best friend can be a lesson that will ultimately serve you well in life. Hopefully later you can find someone to love and trust in a healthy way. Just have to look at toxic people as temporary working out like working muscles at the gym until you can find something more reciprocal.
Walking away sometimes doesn't help also if they are literally physically blocking you from walking away. When they aren't respecting your boundaries.
Then, you tell them to move out of your way. If needed, then you physically push them out of your way
I totally get that. With some individuals normal advice, as the video shows, doesn't work and your integrity may get in danger. In these cases we need help to navigate these waters without being harmed and having a strategy for the long term as the regular solutions aren't possible.
@@kurthanke5788If I told them to get out of my way that would trigger their rage, if I shoved them, it would trigger violent rage, and is also assault. And if they're the owner of the house you live in you don't want to further escalate things.
The fact the way you guys described the manipulator actions just made me realize how bad i was gaslighted by an ex-friend of mine in the 5 last months.. :"(
She started to shout at me talking about the mistakes i did 1 YEAR AGO, and they weren't even mistakes!! and the fact she used 4 people to stay in her side just made me feel like i was being bad when most of what she said didn't even happened!!
Thank you for explaining this more further, that help me understand things better, and i definitely got all the proofs that she was such a manipulative person..
This is a great video, I have set boundaries but the gaslighter has walked right through every single one of them. I struggle with my confidence everyday, but I am getting better. I realize I have to leave the gaslighter.
This video is helping me a lot. I constantly doubt myself, and have to deal with gaslighting frequently with the people around me. I’m glad that I have a better understanding of gaslighting and how to handle it :)
I am IN LOVE with how you draw hands. They look so simple and only the important fingers are shown, with just the shape of the others. Very satisfying.
Thank for your effort
My ex always tried to tell me we had these conversations that i had absolutely no memory of, where I would give her permission to spend money, transfer funds out of the family account to her, etc. I told her to record these, or do written communication, because I couldn't discount my own memory being wrong. Something just always felt off though. Finally, she made a mistake. She told me she had asked me a question about a mathematical process, and told me I had answered in a way I know I would not. That really flustered her, and from there I could start seeing the strings coming undone on this whole tapestry of lies. She had been using a book about gaslighting to gaslight me, but once I wasn't compliant with her process, it all came apart pretty quickly.
I literally needed this, my “friend” is gaslighting me to think I owe her so much money for something I STOLE (I never steal, it’s one of my biggest fears) she says I lost her book and I stole a different one (the one I have but ~according to her~ is *not* hers) I am so grateful to be subscribed to you❤❤ thanks🙏
I just love this channel
Thanks so much for your love and support! It means so much to us!
I am at a huge disadvantage here. I had brain surgery in 2005 to stop seizures and can remember things wrong for real, so I easily doubt myself if someone says that I remembered something wrongly.
If it helps, almost no one has a perfect memory. Eyewitness testimony is completely unreliable. And as a fellow epileptic, the anticonvulsants I'm prescribed can make it hard to remember things.
Journaling is extra crucial in your case
And what if people don't take your boundaries serious?
My only response to that is a full blown argument or behavior mirroring; that's right: gaslighting the gaslighter.
Thank you, you always help me understand others and myself, and to deal with stuff I struggle alone, thank you for your amazing work
This was helpful ❤
Thank you so much for this ❤️
This made me realise that I am still manipulative. I'm not as bad as I used to be and that was hard to realise but this helped me realise that I still have a bit further to go. I'll get there
I’m goi g through this now with a family member I love with all of me. I can’t participate anymore. I had to put a wall up and give us some distance.
Having support is super important. It’s hard to enforce boundaries when the only person you have is the one that’s crossing them Having proof does help a lot but like it says, it’s for you It won’t convince them. Walking away hurts but staying could mean losing yourself
gaslighter: manipulates
me: gets manipulated because I cannot fight back
video: fight back
I appreciate all the advice 🙏💓
i love your videos!! you are helping so many people
This put me in a better mindset than i have been for the past three weeks. Dealing with a manipluative relative who vividlyt showed their true colors and I'm working on getting away from them.
Thank you so much for this video.
I will just say, I had a run in with one gaslighting me for months, the only option left in the end in my circumstances, was to cut all ties immediately and without prior warning. No regrets and no geting around it. Best decision in my life.
I think the 5th tip should be 1st. Anyone with gaslighting as a personality trait will never stop and never change. Therefore, it's important that we recognise when manipulation is a part of someone's personality and we should also recognise when our own personality is vulnerable to manipulation. Easier said than done, of course, but a very valuable tool for setting boundaries. This is my experience and opinion.
they said they weren't used to being with someone that had friends and didn't know how things would work when I got better and would eventually want to hang out with my friends... the fit they threw when one of my friends finally got a break and wanted to hang out like we would usually do when they had time... it was all right there in front of me but I didn't want to see it once again. that proof and those friends are the biggest things keeping me from completely spiraling like I did with past traumas. everything still feels so surreal, but they could never tear us apart or erase the proof I have, regardless of what their reality is.
I need this now.😢
In certain situations, those who are being gaslit and manipulated can't just up and walk away, esp in situations like marriage or long-term relationships with children unless they are being abusive, physically. That is the situation I'm in and I was in a physically abusive marriage 30 years ago. I quickly got out of that. I'm stuck in this one though for a few reasons at the moment, sadly. I will be leaving as soon as I can in one way or another.
Thx a lot for your tips miss.
This is such a huge relief 🎉🎉🎉
this channel is super helpful
Finally the video that I was waiting for and plus. It happened to me a lot
Not necessarily (just) in case of gaslighting, but I have problems with turning away and going away in situations in which I should. It's so frustrating.
I do respond, set boundaries, and walk away. But the pain shows off after they leave, its so hard to deal with and traumatizing.
Needed this😢❤️
I’m hypervigilant at home and my partner gaslighted me recently. They had me thinking we had a ghost when it was our pet who snuck off to do mischief 😅. “He’s right here!” And two minutes later our pet comes from where the ghost was. Sometimes it’s funny but he admitted that gaslighting is his default mode when he doesn’t want to be bothered or do something.…like check on our pet instead of tweeting or gaming. ~SIGH~💜
Thanks for this video, it helped me a lot with my experience.
Thank you ❤
I think all of us are guilty of gaslighting at some point in time. I have done it when I was young and I've dealt with it too. Vicious cycle.
This is now my favorite channel.
Yeah, this channel is the first one that made me realize that i have adhd.
Ty this video was really helpfull for me tyvm
Gaslighting is subjective. You may feel that somebody is gaslighting you with their own version of events, but that works both ways. They too will feel that you're gaslighting them with your version of events. We all see and experience the world through our own personal lens. None of us are free from our own personal biases. It's human nature to remember things in the way that we want to remember them and as such, people have conflicting memories and feelings over the same series of events that unfolded. Gaslighting is a non-sensical term used by people who don't realize that they too are gaslighting somebody else.
This!!! Because sometimes I do forget....and maybe what I say is accurate
Idk, I feel like the main difference is intention. Gaslighters usually do what they do with the intent of control. If it was only a matter of different perspectives and getting offended/dismissive because of biases, that’s something else. But gaslighters say things in a more manipulative way.
@@cotovantre It's easy to say that somebody is doing it intentionally when you feel gaslighted by them. But they'll feel exactly the same way when you push your own interpretation of events onto them. I don't think people intentionally go out of their way to gaslight. Reality is subjective to the individual person, so we all inadvertently gaslight other people with our own perception of things. It really is a daft term and only serves to further divide one another, rather than simply respecting and accepting one another's individuality. You'll never not feel gaslighted by other people, as long as you continue to buy into it.
@@SSJfraz The only time I know people do it intentionally is if they are narcissistic, in which cases it’d be best to walk away
@@cotovantre It doesn't matter who you are, there's people out there who think you're a narcissist. We're all narcissists in somebody else's opinion. Again, it's just another subjective term like "gaslighting".
thank you so much you are my best
+Psych2Go
So in short my parents and grand parent and (obviously no whatever intended here) apparently psychiatrist (for…some…reason) whom we are seeing all appear to be gaslighting me, which became incredibly clear when I told them that my nose throat and chest start hurting; and about it becoming very difficult for me to breathe while I start not only coughing and wheezing, but become short of breath whenever they make coffee; even with being diagnosed with mild asthma and providing them with evidence that I have found about me possibly having some sort of sensitivity to or perhaps allergy to it, they have responded with dismissal and anger, and after at least 10 years of this (during which time I have tried my best to verify my at first suspicion then hypothesis of what was and is physically happening to me); the one thing I have come to realize and would suggest is: no matter what they do or how they behave, is to always try and behave and conduct one’s self in a way that the is happy with and proud of; so that the can say that at least they did and tried thy best….
We encounter gaslighters everywhere around us...be it at work,friends group or family.But the worst ones are those who are very close to you....what to do when it it is your spouse...and you know the truth but are tired of fighting.
I love this channel so much. You guys are the huge reason I'm a psychology student now. Thank you, and i was wondering if you can have Indonesian subtitle in your videos. I have friends and family members who would like to watch your videos too, but sadly they don't speak english. I'd love to share your channel
Gaslight yourself to avoid getting gaslighted...
"Gaslighting is a spectrum, and so are the gaslighters" DAYUM 😭😭
watching this to learn how people prevent being gaslighted so I can become an even better gaslighter
Holy hell.. I’m dealing an abuser who still contradicts/ tries to contradict to this day.
Great video as always!
5:14 Talking to the HR department is not an option if your boss is the gaslighter and the boss of your boss tells you that must be out of your mind if you think that he will bond with you against your boss. Maybe the boss of your boss even tells you that mediation is a possibility in such situations. The odd thing is if the mediation is abused as instrument to get rid of you - this sparks a huge gain in trust in the organisation.
If this sounds too oddly and too specific to you to be a generic story, you would be right.
I dont think i even lnew what gaslighting was as it seemed new terminology and now at my age its explained ,so glad so younger peoplw are aware ,ive wasted years n my good yrs i cant get back .
This all makes sense ❤
It gets easier the more you do it, and people who know you come to respect what you say more.
How do you walk away from an unintentional gaslighter, who is also suicidal? I've tried distancing myself from them but it doesn't work. Because obviously, it's never a good idea to leave someone alone who's suicidal.
Have allies work too
I tried it as long as she respects that ally and sees that ally as higher value
The video is already going viral
One of my classmates is gaslighting me every day, and I know it, he tells lies and everyone believes him somehow😭
then I have been gaslighted all my young adult years even teenager years ... no wonder why I struggle so bad with self confidence.. and or motivation
I had someone gaslight and manipulate me for 11/12+ years. The years she was in my life abusing me I’m gonna choose to be a lesson and a stepping stool
This drawing style is so cute, I can't ^w^
As long as you focus on yourself. You don’t have time to see things that are useless, nonsense and that will waste your time ! And you just ignore it naturally !
I like the different artstyles of Psych2Go, but this one is especially adorable!
This is my favorite narrator. Don't tell the other ones 🤫
I've been called a strong gaslighter, mind you I only ask questions to make a point in a disagreement. Some people may feel that if you don't validate their perception then you're gaslighting them. This is also can be manipulating.
Sucks when you're married to one...especially when they don't even realize and can't acknowledge they're doing it and always plays the victim. Talk about exhausting.
It's not always a good idea to bring the issue to HR because they are often an enabler of bad management. HR protects the company, not you. 😧
Sometimes it’s people trying to “help” that can also gaslight for example when they say “let’s hear your version of the truth” when it IS the truth. Truth and lie are opposite. People are so soft nowadays that they cannot call liars liars.
I had an ex who manipulated me and would blame me for stuff I never did and also took me like I was overreacting when he never understood that I deal with depression and anxiety. He also had possessive parents and because of them he cancelled a trip on me out of the blue and I told him that it was so wrong of him to do that and he claimed I was the selfish one because of how I reacted, when in reality I had the right to be mad at him.
Same here😢
Same here😢
My friend trying to gaslighting for her own feelings when I'm in the right I don't like that feeling at all I ended up arguing with her to get her guard down.
“Stop being disrespectful; they’re your parents.”
Carefully choose a therapist. Things get worse if they don't understand what gaslighting is. Gaslighting also happens in therapy settings. I fired bad therapists.
Actually I find that these are all ways to react rationally to a situation that usually can’t be handled that way. Because a person that often gaslights you is most likely unstable and can’t handle reality. They might resort to violence if confronted.
That doesn’t mean that you can’t say “I don’t wanna do that” or “Agree to disagree”. You should.
But trying to get them to stop using that unhealthy coping mechanism and being honest… or reasonable… No. They can’t. Not without a FAIR AMOUNT of therapy.
It’s taken me time because I very much like to be upfront and maintain a bond with people, but I’ve found that the best answer to someone lying or manipulating you is actually to play dumb. Let them believe that that you believed them and start organizing your distancing from them in a discrete way.
For example, stop going to sleep over at that friend’s house, so you no longer find yourself stuck in an uncomfortable situation in the middle of the night cuz they won’t be receptive to talking through it and will just gaslight.
Review in which way you are dependent on them and work towards finding alternatives in secret until you are ready to really step away.
And… if you still are in the phase where you’re doubting your perceptions, write down or make voice notes of what happens and what you perceive. It’s especially useful when they distort a memory. Write down your feelings and intentions too, for yourself. Cus they tend to blame-shift so much that you start doubting your moral integrity.
Also, recognize your own mistakes, apologize and repair if you are indeed responsible. It’s ok to have made mistakes.
Well I guess myself is agaslighter, it always makes me question my thoughts, wt if I was wrong, wt if it's the opposite of wt I remember.
No confidence