IssaMotherHood: Mom Guilt
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- Опубліковано 5 бер 2022
- #over25mondays #over25 #issamotherhood
You know that persistent feeling of not doing enough as a parent, not doing things right or making decisions that may mess up your kids in the long run. Yup, it’s called mom guilt. The moms of the group share their feelings with and experience with it. And discuss how they navigate through it.
We hope you enjoy it. Please share your comments with us we’d love to know what you think about the topic.
Thanks again for joining us here. We love the support you give us. Happy pre-womens international day, and a happy womens history month to all of you!
As a single mum of a 21 and 25 yrs old most of their life and as an older parent of two.
1. Guilt of comparing one kid to another.
2. Guilt of not allowing kids to flourish on their own and with their own inspiration/aspirations
3. Guilt of knowing you did your best, but your best was not enough e.g., provide college fund
4. Guilt of having children with a man who wanted nothing to do with them (I don’t regret having my kids, just the person I had them with).
5. Guilt of making sure I lived long enough to give my kids a head start and for them to be independent.
6. Guilt of dating and wondering if marriage was ever still an option.
@@justmeE.V.E 💯…that as well
On the next issamotherhood session...the following topics may be interesting to listen to:
1) Postpartum sexual challenges among married couples.
2) Dads to feature...it would be interesting to hear from men who were either widowed, separated/divorced and have raised their child(ren) solo
3) Married dads who have been jobless for a while
Men you should bring
The roaming chef
Mike wachira
Fancy Fingers
Shiv simani
Njugush
Abel Mutua
Is there a way to upvote this!!
And Baba Jay Jay too
There's one mom guilt that's very underrated but I believe needs to be shunned and it's mainly caused by other mom's I'm sorry to say and it's how you delivered your baby. Normal Vs C-Section especially in single births. In multiples people are kinder. I had my first baby alittle over 5 months ago through C-Section and there's a mom who went as far as to tell me to make sure I push the second time round because and I quote "sijazaa bado"...I didn't comment. I literally couldn't speak as I thought of the anxiety, the spinal tap, being cut open while awake and the painful recovery afterwards. I've had enough ladies comment on this and not in a kind way. Mine was doctor recommended to avoid complications but even if one chooses CS over normal delivery... they shouldn't be made to feel less of a mom for it. It's mostly us ladies who put this on each other and I pray for us to do better ...to be kinderand more understanding and accepting 🙏🏾
Maybe we can overcome mom guilt over missing milestones by not feeling bad you didnt see it when it first happened in your absence. The moment you see your baby do something for the first time, that is the first time for you. And it should be special and you should be happy and celebrate.It doesnt matter if others had already seen your baby milestones first. Its your first time to see and experience this moment let nothing take that away from you.
The moment my sister gave birth, I realized one can never fully understand motherhood until you're in that position.
I love Mondays for this reason only.
As you mentioned about 1st Borns being made parents. Well I am a parent to my siblings, literally, I am mother and Father and I have become aware that I have developed mom guilt in the recent years and it's different, I can't quite explain it and it's even harder when you are trying to shape tour own life and you have kids who you no choice but to take care of. I struggle between being a sister, parent, "step-mom" to my partners kids and an aunt to a baby I live with. I can't begin to explain what my life is like
You're badass. Go you Ma!
💕
@@kendis.i.2566 Thank you so much, hugs are needed
Hugs❤️
Hugs. You have a lot on your plate but you got this! You are doing better everyday
And people still ask when I'm getting my own child! Heh
Mum's guilt. my boy graduated to grade one, and I thought it was a good idea to buy him a cake for small party with his friends as usual ( he really loves his favorite cartoon themed cakes). only for him to come with a list of stuff he would like to have, and asked me why I bought him a cake he didn't ask for, I felt baad. why couldn't I ask him what he really wanted 1st.
Hugs❤️
When Ivy said, "If you've gotten to this point and you've not liked the video, LIKE IT" 😂😂😂I'm not a mom but I felt guilty😅🤭
I was so proud of myself for already having liked it😂
As a career mom of an 8month old, I relate with everything you said. I remember the first day I went back to work, I cried all the way to and from work😭 To all parents out there, you are enough and be kind to yourself 💚
Went back to work when my baby was 4 weeks old. Never wishing that feeling to anyone.
Hugs❤️
I can only imagine 😭 mine is 1 yr old and am scared of going back to working. Hugs😍
When my baby broken her arm, i also felt immeasurable pain. I am a medical professional, and i deal with fractures on a daily. But when my baby got a fracture, i lost my sanity and when i saw the xray, i just started broke down because my mind just took me to the case worst scenario ever. She underwent surgery and now she is okay. 3 years later, i still feel the guilt
Hugs❤️
I constantly look forward to Mondays, I have learned so much from this channel man! Honest and very articulate conversations and oh yes this month I get to be legally Over 25! Definitely gifting myself an over 25 Tee💃
Khaaai kamunzyu heeeey...its kagal
Leaving my son to go back to work when he was JUST three months old was the hardest thing!
Yes to gettiing a dad's perspective. See who you could bring on board to talk about dad guilt, e.g Abel Mutua, Nameless, Polycarp-Sauti Sol, Shiv, Dennis Ombachi, Dj Creme de la Creme etc just to name a few
I’m so glad to have access to such content. I’m 23 and I’m not a mum yet and I go through similar guilt or anxiety from some of the things you talked about. My mum passed on when I was 5 and life changed completely for me after that and I had to live in some families houses that experience alone is just another topic but my sister had to be my parent and sometimes I was in charge of myself. Till date I don’t know how to be a daughter to anyone because even though my Dad was still alive there I didn’t experience it to the fullest. Coming to anxiety I’m afraid to have a child and die on them the thought of having kids is terrifying I have decided to get help. Finances are another issue I didn’t grow up in the worst situation but it was tough because my mum died young, my Dad later remarried and was retrenchment from employment shortly after I have two younger brothers who help me practice parenting and Yoh it’s so hard
This is such a relatable episode for me as a single mom. Thanks for all the gems. For the dad episode please consider Tedd Josiah. Thanks again ♥️
Not only mums, even dads are split between buying for themselves or for their kids. In many a t times I have gone to the store to buy my own things but end up shopping for my kids.
I am a first born daughter and back in the day I'd be punished for my siblings mistakes. Horrible. Don't even start me on being a Co parent. Emotional damage
Hugs❤️
I can relate. Hugs mamii❤️❤️
The being punished because of your siblings mistakes, I can relate. I remember an incident when I was 10, telling my dad not to talk to me until he apologized because he knows what he did was wrong. That was the last time he ever punished me for my siblings mistakes.
Just realized that I've been watching for 2yrs without subscribing 😩😩 I'm really sorry y'all I've subscribed
That mom guilt hits proper when you have to go abroad for school or work and cannot drag along our broke little best friends! It took me a month to prep my son for my departure but it will take forever to get over the constant edginess, missing out on so many milestone ,personal and school...and even simple things like hugs! It sucks foreal. But mom guilt should not criple you, do what you can with what you have.
Please bring also a single dad,we hear how they feel about dad guilt
Ted Josiah is a good example
The last point has really woken up ,When think of death and Motherhood.
I love what you do,aki am just here relating and sharing with my aunt who is such an awesome soul and reminding her why she feels how she does some time of her motherhood journey. I am not yet a mum but I'm so glad this is here so I can share it with my dope aunt slash mum . Right now I'm so glad I plugged her this 😌😊
Lets just take a minute to appreciate this video and ivys earings 😍😍love them
Can I commend you. In your previous episodes you have put your phones down. Flowing effortlessly. I love it. Big fan of your channel.
tafuteni Polycarp wa Sauti Sol na Martin Kiare
Learn to forgive yourself too for the "mistakes" you think you made and that at times you have no chance of doing them over... Like when you lose your child and all you have are what ifs... The mum guilt becomes double then but you did your best with what you knew and had then....
Loved this so much. Very insightful. Looking forward to the episode with dads and what their experinces are.
Always looking forward to mondays💖
Before I listen, I'm glad to be this early enough, 17 ago, I'm glad to see you, I can listen to you all time, you such a vibe.
Loved this alot I'm even relieved that I'm not the only mother going thru this kinda things
Am not yet a mum but honestly I have learnt a lot. You should totally have Issa fatherhood platform and also if you have friends in a blended kinda situation because honestly it's a totally different arena esp a bonus parent and what the society expects.
Motherhood is a path in my life that has tasted my mental state like no other. It's a constant area that I continue to to work on. Glad to know that I'm not the only one going through this.
Hugs❤️
Finally listening to this segment as a mum! I can relate so much to this conversation. Officially my new fave segment of the channel.
Thanks Shikie& Ivy for always educating us and giving us insights 👏👏 Great topic n people of this generation are lucky to have a channel like this that they can learn what was not being able to be discussed back in the day🙏🙏
Finally listening to this segment as a mum! I can relate so much to this conversation.
you guys are the best! i love every minute of watching this. am a mum of 3- 16,10&7 and i can relate to the mom guilt. its been years and it gets better. hang in there
This episodes hit different now that I'm a new mom.keep up the great job guys.i can totally relate.
I am looking forward to having Issa motherhood with a dad, I would love to have a glimpse of what is on their minds.
Love this segment. Watching from the US as I pump at work! Lol! In the US it's a law that employers must provide a private space for mum's to pump, and allow them time to do it. So grateful for that. One less thing to stress and feel guilty about.
I love love love this segment. Keep them coming. I really learnt a lot as I was preparing for motherhood. I will definitely watch this one again.
I am a FTM, parenting solo at 39yrs old. The mum guilt I feel is related to work. I was married to my job and studies, so if I skipped work it's coz I was sick to a point of I can't get out of bed. Now if the baby get sick, I am going to the clinic, a random nanny issue or I am just tired coz dint sleep at all at night, n I need to call in to get a day off or fill an impromptu sick off, leave day. I get stumped. I have no idea what to say. I mean it's true but I will feel some kind of guilt, anxiety.
I find that my colleagues are so accommodating and they don't fuss. But me I am left feeling like, yak now that meeting has to be postponed or that task can't be done till I get there or now what will happen to that client meeting? Yet my baby is my life now. So I feel bad for even thinking like that.
care taker...lol the reaction on ivy's face..cracked me up!!!! dope content
Love the consistency this year ❤ Good job ladies 👏
Yesss..💃 Issa motherhood tees please.! Because wueeh....motherhood acha tu
I have no kid yet, but you guys are literally changing a generation, I know better this early and I don't have to live my mistakes to learn, I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUU
Loved this episode so much.
I am a Mum to a 8 year old daughter n i always make sure to take her on a lunch or dinner date before n after coming from a work trip 😭😭. I can't even
As for the Dad segment, I'd suggest Shiv n Daddie Marto
nice🙂this comes in handy.
will put on my big gals pants,thanks for the encouragement.
Love this topic, happy to hear I'm not alone in feeling these things, mom of 2, subbie from ZA
Hugs❤️
Love listening to these conversations 💯💯
I wish I had a best friend. Am 40 and never had a best friend. Si nawapendaaaa ❤️❤️❤️
Girl! This episode is for me.. Sometimes mom guilt can be very isolating
Ivy, you demonstrating with your small fingers 😂🤣. But seriously, Thank you for being so open and candid.
I really needed this talk, im a mum of a 10 year old son,I remember the first years he was only 9 moths and I was alone I had to get a job and I didn't have a nanny, life forced me to take my son at my mom's place, I still remember the pain I felt and guilt and the depression I battked with to date it's as fresh as yesterday but I've learnt to forgive myself everyday I try hard to make up for that time .
Hugs❤️
Thank you for being candid. I have read your comment and cried because I had to leave my kid with my Mom and that guilt stays with you for a long time. I hope I can forgive myself.
@@juliakimondo4382 we get over it with time, it's only that sometimes we feel like we haven't done enough for them and we want to make up to them all the time
ehh you guys have made me think about alot and now am going to actively prepare for having babies....now I know it's also a form of love
The authenticity 💓
Wow....I love this episode. Speaks so much to me...thanks Shiks and Ivy.
I relate so much to this...I am a working mum and I am lucky to have not missed any milestones. I hope I don't miss any. We're turning one on the 31st of this month and I'm so excited and proud of myself. Its been amazing and I can't wait to experience more of what has to come
#issamotherhood #over25 #momguilt🙃
You've got this! 🙌❤️
Not a mum yet but I've learnt alot from these two beautiful women 👏👏👏
You guys make Monday better.
Mike Wachira for the Dads episode.
Hugs to all mums.
Hi guys…. This session has really resonated with me. I am a mother of two. First born is turning 12 and the younger turning 5. My God my 12yr old kept telling me that I love my 5yr old more when he was a yr old and it kept giving me bad mom guilt. Funny thing is that now am feeling the same way because my older one is in preteen stage and I am trying to hold onto her more before teenagehood makes her escape me but my 5yr old is saying I love my 12 yr old more.
I am glad I am here….learnt so much
I can totally relate to feeling like I don't treat them equally.am a single mum with a 4 Yr old son and a one year old girl and sometimes I feel like I make my son feel like I love him less cz I give baby gal more attention. It just breaks my heart.....but I have to keep reminding myself I can only do so much by myself and all I can do is try to show them love the best way I know how
Yaani, I am like waaa, so I am not alone.
I have felt everything ,even I rarely buy myself things.
Wonderful episode ladies! And great idea to have an episode with dads too. Would love to hear from Mike Wachira and Shiv
Wow! I think i have experienced all that you have discussed. A section on disciplining would also do us good.
I missed my baby's first steps cos I had to go back to school to sit for my exams..when I came back he could barely remember me he cried whenever I held him..took me a while to recover 🥺🥺
Loved the conversation so much, I related massively with your experiences!
Soooo relatable.
Good one, this one I have felt. Keep them coming
I can relate with aaaaalllll the points. Issa motherhood is real. This is literally civic education for those who might not relate. PS: Monday's became cooler ever since Over 25 premiered 💃💃💃💃
This is top tier content👌👌🔥🔥
Such a great conversation. Have learnt a lot from two great moms!
Glad to be part of the early gang💃🏿💃🏿😍. Interesting topic even though I cannot relate yet🤦🏾♀️. Ivy and Shikie with good vibes✨. Salute to all #Over25 moms 👏🏾❣️.
As an absentee mom, heh, disciplining your child on video is hectic asf! But I am not losing sight of the fact that this is me building a better life for him.
My mom once told me how she was not able to manage to come to my "clinic day" at school and she told me it broke her.....and i was actually grown i was in form 4....but at least my uncle stepped in❤️
When Ivy said "working dad", my jaw dropped! It felt so strange.
I've used the term working mum so much which got me thinking, why though? A mum is just a mum, why label it "stay at home" or "working mum" when we don't really say working dad?
Also, dad guilt? What! Never even thought of it.🤯 Ofcourse dads have their own issues too🤷♀️
I thoroughly enjoyed this episode👏💯❤️
I'm not a mom, looking forward to it though🙈
I am a mum to a 21 year old and a 9 year old. Mum guilt fades as your child grows! My point is just do your best with your little ones. Be present. Teach them well. Once they grow you have less guilt. Do you remember our parents telling us that you will soon be an adult so change your ways? That's cause she knows she knows she has done her best and her heart is free of any guilt
I have never related with any video like this yaani. Waaa. I felt every point.
I am from Eldoret...and hey ....this issa good thing....Keep up
This was so beautiful and informative❤️
I'd like to hear about the mom guilt that may come from losing a child (before birth or after). Its a topic rarely talked about and particularly because many of those that experience it are often unwilling to share.
For me, my mum came from not being able to provide for my child. Esp since I got her at teenage years. Watching someone else pro ide for your child is sad. Then when you can't give the things you would love to🤦
We need a #IssaMotherHood & #IssaFatherHood. I'm sure it'll be epic
For dads, you can plugin Ted Jossia, Chef Ali Mandhri or dads with adult kids like Sharon Mundia's dad or Jimmy Gathu....
Please create a playlist for issamotherhood episodes
What are you video calling, 😂😂😂 I am on my knees
Same here😂😂😂
37:47 The Way Ivy Says so Fuck'n Cheeky, I Love It😍
Great episode.
I recommend Abel Mutua and his bff Njugush, Daddie Marto and Shiv for the fathers episode.
If there is anything I have learnt from gentle parenting tiktok is that your are triggered by your child's behaviour because your inner child is panicking at what would have happened to them had they acted that way as a child.
the milestone from you both is memeble heheh
22;22, Thats me yesterday evening.......felt like i need to move from my current neighborhood
This is very good content!!
Dad guilt is real among intentional fathers. I have seen it with my partner everytime he has to go work away from home and miss activities he does with the child.
Always looking forward to Mondays just so I can watch over25! As a mom of a teenage, mum guilt never ends, my first born is 13 years and he is going to sit for his KCPE this year in Nov. Now that they are home for a long holiday, he has to do some revision in preparation for the exam. I feel guilty for making him wake up earlier (6am) so that he can maximize on the revision work. just this morning I was questioning this decision and wondering what should I do.
Is it necessary to wake him that early when he has the whole day to study? It could end up having the opposite effect. He can wake at 8am, and study from 10am - 12pm then 2pm-4pm. This is what my mom did for all her children and we all got good grades. Allow him to relax kidogo.
My baby is same age n my mom guilt is being away from him especially at this time when he has to sit for his KCPE then circumcision n I couldn’t take my annual leave to be there with him coz am working abroad😭
@@mercyme4262 Woi, you're not making her situation any better. Yes you're advising but with all due respect maybe your comment was not necessary/could have been framed better.
@@justgracious3196 Hugs❤️
Hugs❤ And all the best to your son in the upcoming exams.
Am a mother of 2 and I feel quilt when I go to a clothes store to buy my own clothes without buying for them. Not once not twice I have returned my clothes just to buy for them instead! Like mum can stay mum don’t really need them much 😒 I feels guilty a lot
Shikie's thighs though! Brown thighs saves lives!
An idea for another episode is: unsolicited advice from social media aunties
Shikies romper is making me feel🤩🤩🤩 your plug please😁
Lol..so funny about hide and seek, I do that with my boys and hide forever, they think mommy has the best hiding spots.😂😂