The abuse of Amouranth, part 1 - Therapist Reacts
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- Опубліковано 22 жов 2022
- Trigger Warning: This episode may include topics such as assault, trauma, and discrimination. If necessary, listeners are encouraged to refrain from listening and care for their safety and well-being.
Dr. Kirk Honda reacts to The abuse of Amouranth.
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Trigger Warning: This episode may include topics such as assault, trauma, and discrimination. If necessary, listeners are encouraged to refrain from listening and care for their safety and well-being.
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A lot of people in the comments saying they don't agree w her work or content. Folks, get over it. Sex work is a thing, and it doesn't mean a person deserves abuse.
plus the fact that he was the one behind all of her business, she has a follow up now saying how she doesnt have to show cleavage all day anymroe, she can wear whatever she wants now. he literally used her body to make money
Right? It's so ridiculous to me. It's one thing to simply say you're not into that type of content (I don't watch her streams and don't have a OF) but to say you don't "agree" with it? Come on. Even if her husband wasn't essentially pimping her out and this was all her choice, what's there to disagree with? Sex work is work and people gotta work. To me it's akin to saying you don't agree with what a retail worker does. It's a job.
YES! Thank you for pointing this out!
@@notmandy We dont know if he actually was. I dont belive anything until proven. Don't just belive everything people say because your a fan of them. One of my woman-friends, falseley accused my best friend of raping her.. Even tho the day she said it happened, he was actually at my house all day playing COD and never left the house. She got fucked later on because she falsely convicted someone of raping her.
Until you know the whole story, dont jump into conclusion that she is the only victim here.
@@uglax2 Get off my comment with that trash.
Is she not also being trafficked to some degree? He forces her to stream and do only fans, controls her finances, threatens her pets, etc. Is this not a form of trafficking too?
Yes.
Yep that's the definition of traficking
this was my ex. never in front of people. i was pregnant curled up in the floor in extreme pain and he still stood over me screaming. nobody believed me when i finally left after 17 years.
Wow, same situation for me with my ex, minus ten years. Sending you a big hug. I’m so glad you got out.
We believe you Mel. HUGS
I hope you could also, maybe at the end of this series, comment on the reactions of Amouranth's audience. The amoount of misogyny is just terrifying. Situations like this clearly show how little progress we actually made as a society. How many people STILL do not get what domestic abuse is.
She has a majority of support. The negative comments come from the ones that already don't like her or that want to be edgelords for the lul. The internet magnifies the negativity. All sane people were shocked by this.
@@themadjuan this seems like a kind comment. that's appreciated by me and , I'm sure, others. However, as someone who was in a an abusive relationship, and my abuser was a fan of her Twitch content, I think maybe you're missing a piece of a who a lot of her audience is.
@@themadjuan have you seen what was happening on her chat during this stream? Her so called fans were pissed she didn't tell them she had a husband (he forbade her; also - it's none of their business), they were calling her names, and even were saying she deserved all the abuse.
I am horrified by the audience blame - so many men who believed they were fooled by her "single status" on the app, saying she chose him knowing he was abusive, she must have done something to deserve it, she is lying, she set him up by exposing him. I'm devastated for her. These streaming platforms just set women up for abuse.
@@erikavaleries I'd say that it's not actually about the streaming platforms. It's just a reality of living in a patriarchal society 🤷🏻♀️
He sounds just like my ex fiance. Watching dr Honda's videos helped me realize that my relationship was toxic. The wedding was cancelled and I think it literally saved my life. Thank you Dr Honda.
Me too. I couldn't understand the abuse until watching PIS videos
That's massive.💜xxx so, happy, for you. xx💜🙂
@@RHathemoment thank u!
I don’t like when abusers are referred to as “out of control”. Yes, it sounds like these types are losing it but they are actually very much in control. Imagine he knew he was being recorded or there was a police officer there, he would not be acting like this. Abusers hold an incredible amount of control in their actions.
I agree. It is not so much that they themselves are out of control as that they have lost control of someone else and are determined to regain it.
You're 100% right. If it was about being "out of control", abuser would "lose it" also for example at a grocery line or at work.
@@oneirologic4462 well said!
They're completely fake and in control when they need to be. There's no mistake that they only act like this at home or in private settings
This is such a great point omg
This is the first video with trigger warnings that I actually needed that warning. His voice, tone and manner of speaking reminded me so much of my ex-husband that I felt sick. My heart goes out to her.
The thing that angers me the most are the people saying she should've gone to the police and not made this public. Because she DID! She kept it a secret for years (one streamer that I watch is friends with Amouranth and didn't even know she had a husband) and she HAS called the police before. Nothing was done. Revealing all of this on stream was the *best* thing for her to do because now everyone knows the truth and she's now in control of her finances and socials. Fuck everybody telling her to be silent. She was silent for years, clearly that didn't work. No abuse victim should stay silent. That's how people get killed by their partners. I hope Amo will stay safe, because I know that these situations escalate when the victim tries to leave their abuser and usually go back to the abusive partner. :( She doesn't deserve any of this.
100% It's difficult sometimes to get help from the justice system if your abuser hasn't actually DONE anything (yet). The fact that there was so much blackmail going on about him donating all their (her) money and ruining her reputation through socials makes this decision the smartest one, because she needed to protect her money and her reputation and take that power back from him. It's like the section Dr. Honda was just talking about with an abuser trying to lord over someone's children or pets to keep control over them. You take away any tool that they use to harm you. And that's exactly what she did. Smart woman, IMO. I hope she can heal from this and I wish her all the best. We all deserve some peace.
So… trying to work this out. He is trying to make some point in the argument. He feels that she won’t hear what he has to say and will interrupt him. So to coerce her into obedience (not interrupting her) he threatens her dogs… which he THEN states he said on purpose to TRIGGER her to prove his point that she won’t hear the argument he has to say because she’s so “easily distracted”. This is gaslighting.
HEAR me and DON’T interrupt.
SEE? You don’t hear anything that I have to say!
Instead you FOCUS on the threat I just made… that I made ON PURPOSE to PROVE that you don’t listen!
Crazy making.
she made another video to clarify this one. he texted her a bunch of awful stuff either the day before or earlier that day straight up just coercing her with threats. one of the texts he sent was threatening to kill her dogs. She finally had enough so she decided to live stream her confronting him about it on the phone because she knew no one would believe her otherwise. She included the screen shots of the unhinged texts he sent in the second clarifying video. He's a awful.
thank you!!! he kept saying DONT INTERRUPT ME and then not saying anything until she says something all scared and hes like I SAID DONT INTERRUPT ME!!!! and Im just like YOU WEREN'T EVEN SPEAKING!!!!
sorry it just really frustrated me this breakdown is excellent
I think he's an abusive POS, but I don't think it's gaslighting It seems like she's heavily steering the conversation. He's saying she was ignoring him and he wasn't really threatening her dog, he just wanted to get get her attention. She keeps steering the conversation back to him threatening her dog when he tries to change the topic or explain though.
@@dftknight you need to see her follow up video where she shows the receipts. he was deliberately trying to confuse her(which is gaslighting) so he wouldn't have to try and justify threatening to kill her dogs on top of also threatening to give away all of her money and delete all of her accounts so she would lose everything she worked so hard for. She called him for the purpose of confronting him about the threat to her dogs and he tried to shift the convo away from that not the other way around. Also even if he wasn't serious about killing her dogs it's still a really manipulative shitty thing to say to someone. Its abusive as fuck and thats never ok.
@@Shadowcat31 I watched the full video. As I said , I agree he's being verbally abusive and that's never OK. I don't think any of his excuses hold water. She said her reason for recording their call was that he was threatening to post about her online on social media and she started recording their call so she could get out in front of him and she's acutely aware of what the audience is going to hear.
He controlled her finances, social medias, sleep schedule, type of content, he wouldn’t even let her say that she was married. She went live the day after and said things like “I can’t wait go eat 8hrs of sleep a night” “I can’t wait to have my own friends, and be able to go out, not show cleavage and make the kind of content I want to make”… she’s a top only fans model and “hot tub” streamer in twitch which according to her was more his idea than hers. He threatened to spend all their money, destroy her career by posting whatever on her socials, send her horses to a meat packing factory… the community then said she deserved this bc she makes money from being sexual and they felt scammed out of money (they made donations) they sent her when it wasn’t even her idea to say she’s single. For anyone curious she now has controls of her socials, financials, and is seeking legal help and mental health help while this guy is apparently going to get help for himself. The fact that people thought she deserved this abuse was so disgusting. Then there were people like “well why didn’t she just leave” and having been in two abusive marriages it’s not that easy. I liken it to the boiling frog theory where the frog is in a pot of water and it’s fine, but the heat is being slowly turned up and the frog can tell but it’s not a problem until it’s boiling and the frog is cooking alive and it’s too late. My ex husband did this to me. Kait is now taking a break from all social media with no return date in mind. If anyone here is going thru this know that it’s not your fault, you don’t deserve to be treated this way. Sending love and light to other survivors ❤
This. It gave me flashbacks to my marriage as well. I feel for her.
But she turns around and jumps right back into his arms. I really can’t feel sorry for her.
@@CallMeConCon those are the statistics of being abused. the abused person generally returns many times. it's complicated and hard to understand if you haven't been a victim of the gaslighting
@@CallMeConCon stunning lack of empathy
@@CallMeConCon Where has she done this? Currently on OF and Twitter and Twitch she said she has left him and will be getting a divorce. Of course she could do what you are saying and the cycle continues.
I am so tired of people judging people by their job. People have sex. People watch sex. If there wasn't a following. These people wouldn't make money. Nobody deserves abuse. Nobody.
I'm so glad you speak about this. Many people online blame her for the abuse because of the content she creates & it's disgusting. I'm not a fan of her streams but that has nothing to do with the abuse she endures & the dangerous situation she is in.
Thank you Dr. Honda!
Also she was forced to do this content
@@darthnephilim exactly! People seem to skip over that part: Someone who was supposed to love and take care of her.... decided to manipulate her into using HER BODY for HIS GAIN.
I can't imagine how much damage that does to a person's perception of love and trust. 😔 Makes me sad for her, to be used and abused for so long, suffering in silence. One of the top streamers online, yet no one knew. Sheesh. I hope she's able to heal and become the person that SHE wants to be.
@@Alleellaa 👍. 👏👏👏
I don't know anything about Amouranth, but man, I hope she gets therapy after this. It seems like a lot of people speak to her this way and she doesn't deserve it. She's not a dog, bro.
@@darthnephilim even if she wasn’t forced to do that content and did it willingly, s*x workers are OFTEN victims of abuse and ignored because society deems them less worthy of care because of their job. It does make the whole thing worse that she was forced in my opinion but there’s a larger narrative here about how we as a society are willing to neglect the story’s and needs of those workers and write them off as unimportant because of the work that they do. We must do better
I hope he gets held accountable. He is threatening her and it's not OK. I just want her to be in a much better situation.
The relationship is over. He want her to leave. That’s what’s he’s saying over and over and she keeps changing the subject. She could be in a better situation if she had her self respect intact. She just doesn’t want to leave him and play games because that’s the best she can get out of him.
@@CatsInHats-S.CrouchingTiger You're delusional.
@@CatsInHats-S.CrouchingTiger no dude. He’s threatening her to keep control over her and is extremely abusive. The victim in this situation rarely has a choice and I believe she unmuted herself so everyone could hear him as a cry for help. Thank god it worked and she is ok
My ex actually DID killed two of my cats. It’s disgusting that people are capable of this and even though it’s only 2% of the worlds population that’s a psychopath. It’s actually lotta people. And even more victims and I think the Dahmer show really kind of shut the light on that and how sick people really can be and that it can be the most normal people you would never know.
oh my, I'm so sorry this happened to you! 💔
I am so sorry you had to go through that. I hope you're on a path of healing, and I hope your ex gets arrested for what he did.
Oh good lord that is so awful 😢
I as a teen I had to get rid of my kitten because my step father said he would poison her with windshield washer fluid. He was a violent and terrifying man. The violence made him giddy. And he would plan longterm manipulation that made me feel insane.
It happens. Threatening to kill a person or an animal ALWAYS means something. It may not mean murder, but it always means something
Dahmer would never kill cats.
Threats to kill: a follow up study - L.J. Warren et al at Psychol Med 2008, Apr
“Mental health clinicians are frequently asked to assess the risks presented by patients making threats to kill, but there are almost no data to guide such an evaluation… Conclusions: In contrast to the claims in the literature that threats are not predictive of subsequent violence, this study revealed high rates of assault and even homicide following threats to kill.”
This whole video was like Deja vu. My ex also threatened my dogs, but over and above the threats, his tone was exactly the same the night he forced me to have a threesome with him and a friend, I was crying in the same way that she is crying in the video. My heart breaks for her and I hope that she can get the support to get out. I left with nothing and no support, but still alive.
So-called support systems are not very helpful when they are comprised of people paralyzed by shock and denial.
I am glad you didn’t wait around trying to wake other people up.
Respect.
I can also relate, friend. Hugs and support to you.
@@oneirologic4462 it took too long for me to leave as it was. The night I left I saw murder in his eyes. He ripped my clothes of as I left and I left with nothing. There were 15 other people there and I asked for help and they refused to get involved and they refused to help me. They all told me I was unreasonable and hysterical, but I wasn’t screaming or shouting, I was calm. I couldn’t take my car as I was parked in and he sold my car the next day to teach me a lesson. Our friend group was all intertwined and they all refused to help me, i was moving from place to place as he had everything with him and I couldn’t even draw money as I was locked out of the house. It felt like forever before I was back on my feet. I lost my business and everything. It was a very lonely journey, and to this day I have only met one person that actually understood what I went through.
I'm so. sorry.💔😞
You are understood and believed, Leigh-Ann.
Over the last year she started to get bruises all over her body. She'd stream in a hot tub and wear a bikini. Chat would bring it up and she'd say it was from her horses. In the stream above she mentions that he didn't allow her to see her horses and even threatened to get rid of them. When chat brought up the bruises in the past she stopped getting into the hot tub and would just started standing by it instead of getting in the water, also use makeup to cover bruises. Her modeling videos and photos show bruising and makeup over bruises. Could have just been accidents but it was happening so frequently just in that year.
Thought i'd add that. Total speculation and I have no insider information just what I had noticed over the year.
Oh man, I didn’t know this. I use twitch a lot but never consumed her content (I’m not really her demographic) but I knew about her but never this… that breaks my heart.
I dont belive that was from him. He wouldnt be dumb enough to beat her up and then make her stream nearly naked to show all her bruises.
@@uglax2 You'd be surprised. Many @busers are used to getting away with things and are convinced no one will believe the victim. They know people are afraid to be seen as "meddling" and "snitches" so as long as there is an "explanation" for the bruises, cuts, fractures, work absences, miscarriages, sudden weight loss...they hedge their bets that no one will interfere or challenge the "facts" of their story. Some even feel empowered by knowing all the signs are visible, and yet no one dares to ask the victim directly, or confront the @bu$er.
This guy screaming sounds like he is about to be violent with me and I am not even there.
My dad would do this to my mom all night and i would stay awake and listen. My mom seemed to disociate because she would stay silent. I remember aswering to what my dad would say. I would get out of bed and yell SHUT THE F..K UP! He would also break stuff like coffee tables.
I’m sorry. I used to listen to my dad scream at my mom day after day, night after night. I’m not over it, but some days I think I’m over it. And then other days I’m not.
I am sorry you had to experience this. I hope your mom is doing ok.
Are you still living at home?
After this round, she had a video from the following day that gave more information. Her words and behavior point to a husband who was/is extremely abusive and controlling. While she did have a team who worked with her, they were paid by her husband (he had control of their finances) and he wouldn't let her have any real friends or to be with family.
💔😢so. sad. 😢
we only know 1 side of the story, people are very fast to belive that everything people say is true. I'm very glad that half of twitch or youtube doesnt work for the judge because fucking hell innocent people would of been jailed.
Again, we know 1% of a 99% relationship, thats not much,
Yea based on what she said, she was being controlled financially and he was telling her what to wear also. Scary stuff.
@@Kimmehface she still cloth herself as a whore anyway so it dont see any difference.
@@uglax2 no matter how mad i am at a person i would never stoop that low to threatening someone or animals
Goodness, this is brutal. I'm glad she recorded the conversation because sometimes when you try to tell people about an abusive partner it's hard for them to believe because they've never seen that side of the person.
Ughhh, my divorce from a man like this was in 2012 and I have been working on myself since then. I really thought I would be okay to watch this but my entire body started to panic and my brain started zoning out. I definitely have more work to do.
I didn’t know who Amouranth was before this but I so hope she’s okay. I hope she’s able to get help and heal. I hope her husband gets help. Terrifying honestly.
That's extremely brave of you. I hope you don't beat yourself up too much over your reaction. It takes a lot of courage and strength to watch something like this after what you went through. I'm rooting for you, Kirstyn!
I don't know her and have never heard about this situation, but out of context it seems her husband is a massive prick. Hopefully they split for good. No one needs this kind of person in their life.
I...I can’t believe Dr. Honda actually did it and reacted to this horror show. I had this somewhat guilty desire to see his perspective on things but dismissed it as something that would never happen.
I honestly didn’t even know who Amouranth was until this came out a few days ago (I don’t follow Twitch or Onlyfans) but now it’s everywhere and I’ve seen all sorts of people analyze thus whole incident. Definitely looking forward to watching this one.
To be honest I struggle with yelling too much with partners. It’s taken me years to learn to communicate in a healthy way and I’m still working. As a child my parent yelled very frequently and would sometimes gaslight. It’s very complicated and I still feel terrible about all the yelling in my life. I never thought of myself as abusive but it’s a possibility. The main issue is when I’m yelling it’s almost like my brain turns off completely and I have to really work to stop myself and calm down. Then I realize I don’t really mean anything I’m saying, I realize that’s just the way I was taught to communicate. 😞
I yell when I’m upset too because of my past. I usually catch myself though and try to calm down. It’s hard! But it’s good we realize it and work on it. Therapy helps a lot for me .
This triggered me to hell and unfortunately I caught it almost in real time. I've been having nightmares since even though I know she is safe now. I wouldn't wish this type of treatment on anyone.
I’m vicariously traumatized by the sheer number of survival stories this video has brought to the surface.
Sometimes when I’m upset I find myself doing the lecture thing. Not yelling, but reiterating why I’m upset and kind of scorning the other person. It’s like I get stuck in a loop. Repeating the message kind of to the point of exhaustion. Thank you for your insights, you give me a lot to think about and work on with therapy.
I do that too… really trying not to…
Repeating yourself can feel badgering to the other person. My husband did this to me until I moved out of the bedroom. Now, he completely emotionally cut me off. If I won’t let him rage at me, then he wants no relationship with me at all.
Never in my life had a man or anyone yell at me like that and some how I'm triggered... Why do I instantly feel like he's about to hit me!
This is Brutal.
THIS needs to be exposed & addressed.
And you address abusers both male & female abusers. This is scary stuff. It’s real.
You are becoming the voice for victims.
This is real. I know as I am lucky to be alive .
Thank you .
This is EXACTLY what my psychopath ex sounded like when he would abuse me. The resemblance is uncanny. I swear, most abusers are the exact same. What's the phrase? "It's like they all went to the same school on how to be an abuser".
Yes. A secret school. I said this for years.
But at the end of the day, people just do what they think will work and what they believe they can get away with.
Wow this is hard to watch. My ex killed 2 cats in front of me. He said cats were a dime a dozen. He yelled at me because he thought I was too close to my cat, he said my cat acted like my lover WTF. He would scream at me telling me how plain I was and how he could be on a tv show in front of a lot of people and no one said anything.
What's worse is my brother telling me that when he and my parents were ganging up on me was me being offended by some random comment when they were making fun of me for hours and that I need to let that go and just enjoy the free fancy meal. I don't even know how to react to that. I understand that my brother can't see what's going on, but I'm thinking that estrangement is the only way to go for me to survive.
He thinks I'm feeding hatred. I'm running from the most horrific pain and trying not to die
I’m so sorry this happened to you and your poor cats. I really hope you’re free of him. Being apart really is the only way you can live
@@kmari9819 I am free of him. Thank you
This literally makes me sick to think about, I am so incredibly sorry you had to witness that kind of violence to a beloved animal right in front of you, and that your ex was so utterly awful. I am sending love and healing your way, you are a survivor and you're worthy of love
Thank you for covering this. The tone and the confusing double speak is triggering and all too familiar. He knew she was live on twitch but didn’t know she unmuted him. All she wanted to do is take trip to Disney and he would only allow it, if she did a 24 hr stream.. & all of this unfolded. Amouranth is an amazing person and I hope she gets thru this safely. ❤❤❤
Threaten to kill my dogs or my kids and yeah. Im not going to remember what else was said in the conversation. Cause you THREATENED TO KILL MY DOG
It is enough for anyone to find their inner John Wick!
Hearing him talking like that makes me CRINGE so hard. It's so uncomfortable.
I've been in an abusive relationship in the past and my ex used to talk to me with the same tone sometimes. One day I was saying to him: "I really think you should eat more vegetables and be more healthy" (just as a suggestion).
Little I knew, it snowballed into a fight and I remember him yelling at me: "YOU SHOULD CHOKE ON YOUR ZUCCHINI".
So surreal... 4 years of my life with him
same here. I accidentally dropped an orange/set a plate down "too aggressively" and my ex freaked out on how disrespectful and inconsiderate I was.
I was hoping you would analyze this! Thank you Dr. Honda for always providing great insights with empathy!
Thank you for covering this. I did a video on Amouranth as a lawyer working in domestic violence for 10 years. This cycle of abuse is terrible to see in real time.
Thank you for speaking on this situation Dr. Honda. Based on the responses I’ve seen online there is a massive population of people who don’t understand the dynamics of abuse and abusive relationships and the myriad of ways it can manifest.
As someone who has been through this myself and seen close friends go through this, it’s INSANELY hard for the average person to understand and explain their situations to others (and vice versa), making it harder and harder to develop that social support you discussed was so essential. I think this is an incredibly valuable case study for you expertise and ability to educate.
I’m also seeing a lot of social support happening in the comments right now and it really warms my heart to see, if you or anyone else here have any recommendations on support groups or how to find adequate online support to those in a abusive situation like this PLEASE share as a resource for those who end up finding this video ❤️
the way Kirk explains the onslaught of gaslighting is so similar to my experience. i find this kind of explanation very helpful.
I’m so appreciative for Dr. Honda and how receptive he is to the requests of his listeners. It’s always good to hear what he has to say!
When you said "this is getting under my skin, I'm starting to freak out a bit," you spoke my mind. God.
I've had people verbally bombard me like this before. I hope this poor woman is ok!
Man the reactions dudes had to this on the internet really showed their asses
Regarding the threeway mention. He was using that to shock her, just like when he said he'd kill her dogs if she didn't do what he wanted. What he was saying is that he would say something shocking (killing dogs or having threeway} to get her attention since he is saying she only hears what he's saying when it's something awful or important to her. She clearly says she does not want to have a threeway. He can say he didn't mean what he was saying and only saying those things to get her attention. But probably says them enough for her to think they were threats. Remember that he was getting her to do things she didn't want to do. The term gets overused but there's multiple examples of gaslighting going on.
Why would someone be manipulating , using shock and awe responses … what is it actually proving other then a reflection of his behavior?
It’s soo scary and sad. Though I’m glad there’s a few large male content creators who spoke in defense of her and called out her exs actions. Poor lass. I’m glad she’s getting help and able to heal in a safe environment .
This video triggered me in ways that I did not expect. I was not familiar with the details of this situation but I really appreciate Dr Honda's insights into difficult circumstances.
New to the channel. Very educational and informative. Thank you for taking the time to review this.
I’m so glad you’re reacting to this! I’ve been thinking about it a lot and was wondering what kind of input you’d have :)
Thank you Dr Honda. I'm really glad you're addressing this situation. There are some voices online that are extremely misogynistic reacting to this and it's nice to have you weigh in.
Regarding Amouranth, I might not agree with her content, but I saw so many postings questioning her situation purely because of the content she makes. Her husband allegedly tossed out her clothing, cosmetics, and her other electronics/ filming/streaming equipment. He’s reportedly threatened to kill/harm the animals. He’s coerced her to stream 24 hours, which would lead anyone into a state of exhaustion. Her husband has been directing the direction of her career, under coercion. There’s documented damage to property. She has alleged that he’s physically harmed her. Her disclosing their marriage, IMO, is a gigantic cry for help. She doesn’t have anything to financially gain from this: in fact, she might possibly lose the interest of her viewers since majority of them believed her to be single. Now perhaps, this was strategic in order for her to regain access to her financials again. What upset me most was that she’s not only being abused by her spouse, but it appears that she’s being psychologically abused or at least heavily criticized by fans/stands/critics alike. To have a spouse that has control over you financially, psychologically, mentally, emotionally, makes it extremely difficult to break away. I truly hope that she finds a way to safely navigate her way out of this relationship and regain control of her life. I hope that her husband seeks professional help to work through his struggles… and I REALLY hope the pets are safe from harm!
Great comment. Some domestic violence victims are immersed in a network of abusers and gas-lighters. I knew a young woman who was sex trafficked and it was like this also. Cults too.
She also had a really scary stalker just earlier this year who went scorched earth sold everything he owned from where he was living (in Estonia), pets included and stayed at a hotel near her home, and would go to a Starbucks that had a visual on her P.O. Box and then he streamed it constantly… truly terrifying stuff. KiraTV has a good video about it.
Amorauth is a girl that brings trouble
He threatened to throw out her equipment. He did seem to do damage to her apartment. He seems like a huge abuser and I hope she gets away and gets safe.
Can’t wait for part 2 thank you for covering this
send this 'man' to jail.
A lot of people know of her because she's ALWAYS online on twitch. He forced her to work more hours than the top 3 streamers combined.
Dr Honda, I'm praying you don't get trolled by misogynists I am seeing in every comment section, blaming her. I feel sick. If social media was around when I was abused, I never would have left after reading these comments. it's unreal. saying she is trying to make money, defame her husband, lie and set him up about animal abuse, that she must have done something to deserve it.
Thank you for covering this. I haven't had a way to see the whole video at all either. I'm glad to see the comments are saying she is safe but I am still scared for her. It certainly brings up more of my personal fears of my lack of normal relationships.
Thank you for covering this and providing your thoughts 😁
I appreciate you Dr Kirk. Your commentary feels respectful and safe. Can't thank you enough.
Thanks Kirk for all of your helpful content
Thank you so much for
This. I was in a marriage for 15 years and he DID gaslight and the most devastating part of the abuse was coming out and not being able to know what memories were real and what were “memories” are not. He even convinced me that my grandfather sexually abused me when I was little. I hate how the term gaslighting is overused and used I correctly from someone who it actually happened to. It is devastating
Verbal beat down. It does not stop until you submit. . Threats Of killing your pet , a defenseless animal?
His behavior, I’ve barely survived this type of Guy.
I should not be alive today X2.
Trigger is an understatement. I wish I had access to you 25 years ago. This is rough
This reminds me of my ex. Nothing about killing pets (although he’s neglecting his own now) but this entire outburst, and me being utterly confused as to what was happening.
Neglecting is a form of abuse. He doesn't need that pet.
I hope she gets away from him
I couldn't get more than 40 sec into this video. I don't think Dr Honda's careful navigation of the clip would help - this is just way too abusive and scary, and I guess also reminds me of people I've known how have been through awful relationships.
This is horrifying to listen to. I do not know her or the situation, but it is obvious this is not okay. He sounds like he WANTS to be mad. He is trying to be upset. My heart breaks for her. I don’t even know the full extent of what their relationship is like, but no one should be treated this way.
Thank you for this video. My soon to be ex husband would talk to me exactly like this and yell at me if I didn’t quote back exactly what he said in the middle of a fight. This was really validating for a professional to recognize this behavior and say it is aggressive and not how to communicate with your partner. I love the channel and hope to learn more.
I see a lot of people online saying bad things about her and saying she deserves this treatment. Whether you agree with her work or not, she doesn’t deserve the abusive crap she went through. And that’s what it is- abusive!!! He’s yelling at her, gaslighting her and she also said he’s controlling on a different live after this.
Really interested to hear your further thoughts on this situation and also your thoughts on some peoples reactions to it.
I hope you watch more of this video and research it. It is very relatable and difficult to speak about in therapy because we don’t have recordings of the abuse.
He sounds and speaks like my ex right down to the sound of his voice. And this is the tone he would take in very small disagreements, like where the umbrella goes when it’s wet. While this is triggering for me and makes me sad, I still watch these videos because it is a little bit of catharsis for me to rerecognize that this behavior is neither okay nor normal. Sometimes you have the little itch in your head that you were overdramatic even years after being gaslit.
I don't have an ex like this but my father was like this. my mom avoided him and stayed quiet and out of the way so I ended up becoming the target whenever I was too much and an annoyance. I was bullied, screamed at, threatened, told so many things to doubt myself. He often yelled to a point in my face where his face would go red and I'd see his veins and part of the reason I hate coffee breath because it reminds me of him. He really brought down my self esteem and self worth and I have trouble retaining information now and question it and I wonder if it had to do with that. I often fought back as I got older but eventually I'd give in and take the yelling because he would just add to his yelling and it would grow and get more intense. Only once I tried to keep pushing back but I got slapped in the face so I learned to eventually give up and take the yelling.
Really sorry to hear that, same situation in my home :( made me wary of men for life, it's really hard to get over. And while I love my mom I do have resentment from time to time recalling she just stood by...
I am so so sorry 😢
@@mads6847 I am a mom who stayed with a jerk father. He wasn’t nearly as bad as the guy on this video but I regret not leaving when my kids were little. I bet your mom was traumatized and has so many regrets too. Big hugs to you ❤
“arguing about the argument” instead of him actually making a point (bc there isn’t one) the tone of voice.. rage.. sounds like my dad growing up. yikes. sending love to all of the amouranths out there :(❤️
Oh this is the tone of voice my mom had for me while i cry growing up... unrelenting. i had so many meltdowns where i just cry for hours. this sounds worse, i think. I feel bad for amouranth, hope it will be okay. This youtuber is so considerate and kind, it makes me feel better
I genuinely feel so sorry for Amouranth. I'm glad that she left before this could turn into a True Crime story
Fuck that, if someone screams at you like that and won't let you speak, you disconnect the call, put the phone on silent, lock the door, and call the police and report any threats of violence.
That nincompoop is in the middle of a temper tantrum. You can't talk kids down from tantrums, and you can't talk adults down from them either (the few adults who still have them, that is....)
Honestly, I can't understand how anybody could be sexually attracted to someone who is this hysterical. He's embarrassing.
This is the first video with a trigger warning, where a warning seriously applied to me. I wonder if the day will come, where these videos are easier to get through without experiencing a heightened sense of anxiety.
yeeeeaaaaaaahhhhh this is very hard to watch. The fact that there are so many people who pray on certain types of people to treat them this way is mind blowing. A very close friend of mine is experiencing this right now. It turns my stomach.
When i was crying and sobbing in the middle of conversations just like she is doing, my ex would not acknowledge anything or calm down. Instead he would say i was trying to manipulate him and put on a show to try to emotionally blackmail him... Well no buddy, i was just lost, confused and very very sad..
This is so scary. Thank you for saying that this tone of voice can be Machiavellian and on purpose to control. I had one call in my life with a client that sounded the same. It was the strangest call I ever had. He would be normal and out of the blue start screaming just like this guy. I was very scared. I thought he had a lot of issues and I couldn't understand why he was being like that. At least now I know it is likely this yelling and intimidation was probably on purpose which is a whole different ball game from what I understand from other people like even Big Ed or Antifa.
At the end of the call he said are you talking over me? And I said yes and I am hanging up on you! (I probably yelled too lol)
But my god I cried balls after that. I cannot imagine having someone like that on a day to day basis. Sounds horrible. Very scarry indeed. Poor girl :'(
I'm so sorry.. that sounds scary
@@munchiekins thank you. Yes it was a very odd and scary experience. At least now with Dr. Honda's explanation I can make more sense of it and know what I was most likely dealing with.
Oau, this was so interesting and so useful for me for dealing with my toddler's meltdowns.
I am very interested in the rest of the videos from this series. 🤩
Thank you Dr Honda.
This is scary. His tone is so much like the 'podcast' boys😬
These type of videos have become fairly common on TikTok, in particular. People recording their partners being abusive. Most seem to use it as a way to get support and obviously to document the behavior.
So basically she is being abused by her pimp/“husband”. This is so sad tbh. She needs to get away even if it means not making money for a bit.
It's an unpopular opinion, but I always side-eye the partners of sex workers (and their adjacent). They almost always have a pimp mentality.
Don't know this lady, but I hope she gets away from this person and protects herself.
How many partners of sex workers have you confirmed to have had this mentality?
It's unpopular because it's judgemental and petty.
So sex workers shouldn’t ever have partners? This is a very very bad and stigmatising take.
@@katyajovich2308 No. You said that, not I.
3:30 he said that before she started recording, so it wasn't in what was recorded or not on mute. She put it off of mute so she could have evidence essentially. so yes, he did say that, just off recording.
I know nothing about this situation or who she is but all of this is very disturbing. Very bothersome. I HATE it when he tells her she is trying to be the victim, because she is crying I guess. When I argue with my partner I have learned I cannot cry. Unfortunately it is not always controllable but me crying makes my partner feel "like a monster" and I am apparently only faking it to make them feel guilty. It's a sucky feeling. I feel for her.
I've never heard more than a few clips of what happened. Sheesh. When he's screaming at her, it starts to trigger MY fight or flight instincts. I can't imagine living with that for years. I feel so awful for her.
wow, this is a 100% accurate reenactment of my ex husband.
it's called coercive control.
That was difficult to watch and listen to, my heart goes out to her. I do hope that she is able to get to safety with her dogs. She needs to divorce him and get a restraining order.
As someone who forgets so easily because of epilepsy and being on 3 drugs which can cause it. This is so sad....
This brings up so many memories of my own journey getting out of my dv relationship. Once I started recording, that’s when I started getting my power back and fighting back his gaslighting. Bc you’re right, it was easier to believe his gaslighting that he wasn’t abusing me bc it hurt so much less mentally to think I made it all up in my head. He went on this campaign of making me think I had dementia and memory problems and when I would bring things up, he would blame it on that. But when I started recording, I was able to get proof of my reality, and it helped me get out. They didn’t work playing it back to him, he refused to listen when I was proving points and would try to delete them, but it helped ME. Bc as long as I knew the truth, it was the biggest stepping stone to getting out and that’s when I started my plans to escape. Took several months but I eventually went nc and have now been no contact for 6 yrs and w all those yrs of therapy and corrective experiences, I know it will never happen again, I can feel abusers instantly now, they’re all so alike in so many ways. I can read these guys like a book and they hate it 🙂 it’s one of my favorite things about me now
I known nothing about this story or these people and the first thing I thought when I heard his voice was he sounded like Andrew Tate, who I’ve not heard all that much, but enough to be sure, if you feel me.
Yes I’ve heard several people compare this guy to Andrew Tate; it’s strange. I don’t actually hear an auditory resemblance in the least, but I will agree with a point I’ve seen brought up several times-the way Amouranth’s husband treated her (not just his verbal and physical abuse, but his control over her finances, her content, and the overall business) is right out of Tate’s grotesque “instructions” on how a man should treat a woman he is dating if she does any kind of sex work. It’s pretty jarring.
We need to talk more about the way society treats sex workers who face abuse. Nobody believes you, nobody supports you & nobody cares. Unless you’re a chaste & virtuous church girl who quotes scripture & doesn’t leave home after sundown, you’re not worthy of protection.
Hold up. I live in an area where religious sects keep girls and women mostly uneducated and without income, bank accounts, drivers’ licenses or contacts in the secular world.
She also shared a bit more of the behind the scenes actin with broken doors and holes in the walls.
He even took a lock from her door. So scary.
He sounds like Lemongrab from Adventure Time saying "unacceptable!!!" It's so odd and kinda scary.
Dr. Honda, at around 10:00 you talked about someone’s possible distorted interpretation of reality but said it wasn’t delusional. What is the difference between the two?
I know you directed your question at Dr. Honda but I hope it's okay if I share my perspective. I believe having a distorted interpretation of reality is something like having a conversation with someone and then taking the words as if they were directly trying to hurt you when that's not the case. It's misinterpreting the meaning of the conversation. Whereas being delusional is believing you had a conversation with someone that never occurred.
I wish I could study under you…. I feel like my brain works like yours does… and you’ve honed in on all of the topics that I had always hoped I would focus in on. Wish I could even focus enough to figure out what schools and programs you studied…
Maybe watching the coverage of this on h3 podcast would be good. There are a series of videos to react too and the h3 crew explain and give you some context of each video before and after, as some of the crew actually watch the whole thing happening and know her.
had to turn it off. its too triggering. i went through some of this with an ex. its WAY to common an experience for women.
When I was 21 I had a 23 year old boyfriend. Sometimes we bickered towards the end, one time we were actually both quite angry and upset. So, before it escalated, at the same time we suggested to each other that we sat in different rooms for at least 30mins.
Then we came and sat down and spoke to each other really calmly. Worked it all out and we both felt heard and respected. It ended in a big cuddle.
Can you please look at Love is Blind 3. The blonde fitness girl seems to have a wall up, trouble empathizing with others and always love to ne in control/teaching. Also the Asian guy is an interesting "character." Obviously the fake tears are weird but even his persona of saying all the right things, bringing sex up so quickly and his need for perfection seem to show signs of some trauma. Or is it just a personality type? Would love your insight.