Steven Crowder Abuses Wife Allegedly - Therapist Reacts (Part 1)
Вставка
- Опубліковано 8 тра 2023
- Dr. Kirk Honda reacts to video footage of Steven Crowder.
Become a patron: / psychologyinseattle
Email: www.psychologyinseattle.com/c...
Website: www.psychologyinseattle.com
Merch: teespring.com/stores/psycholo...
Cameo: www.cameo.com/kirkhonda
Instagram: / psychologyinseattle
Facebook Official Page: / psychologyinseattle
TikTok: / kirk.honda
The Psychology In Seattle Podcast ®
Trigger Warning: This episode may include topics such as assault, trauma, and discrimination. If necessary, listeners are encouraged to refrain from listening and care for their safety and well-being.
Disclaimer: The content provided is for educational, informational, and entertainment purposes only. Nothing here constitutes personal or professional consultation, therapy, diagnosis, or creates a counselor-client relationship. Topics discussed may generate differing points of view. If you participate (by being a guest, submitting a question, or commenting) you must do so with the knowledge that we cannot control reactions or responses from others, which may not agree with you or feel unfair. Your participation on this site is at your own risk, accepting full responsibility for any liability or harm that may result. Anything you write here may be used for discussion or endorsement of the podcast. Opinions and views expressed by the host and guest hosts are personal views. Although, we take precautions and fact check, they should not be considered facts and the opinions may change. Opinions posted by participants (such as comments) are not those of the hosts. Readers should not rely on any information found here and should perform due diligence before taking any action. For a more extensive description of factors for you to consider, please see www.psychologyinseattle.com
"Full disclosure, I had never heard of him until y'all started emailing me about this." Is exactly what Crowder deserves.
Coincidentally he said exactly that as I read your comment
Me neither…Don’t know him… who?
I was so blessed for not knowing him before this blow up 😂
I was surprised he didn’t, but at the same time relieved that there are still people in the world whose lives have never been affected, touched, scathed by knowing Steven Crowder.
I had never heard of him until a video by Jaclyn Glenn!
CONTEXT: He is smoking in front of his pregnant wife. He is very wealthy but only provided one car for his family. She is trying to go out to get groceries while pregnant with twins and he is complaining about not being to go to the gym or see his friends. He claims that giving the dogs medication and walking them is her responsibility that needs to be done immediately while he is lounging and smoking.
The dog medication was possibly toxic to pregnant women which is why she reasonably would refuse to do it. Instead of just giving his own dogs medication he told his heavily pregnant wife to put on gloves to do it.
I'll take her
She also didn’t want to give the dogs their medication because she was concerned that they might not be safe for pregnant people to come in contact with said medication.
It was radioactive chemo medication that pregnant women CANNOT touch
He is smoking outside and his wife came out to him he also said he was going to go shopping hahaha
Imagine living in a world where you don’t know who Steven crowder is. I want to be you Dr. Honda
I've never heard of the guy either 🤷♀️
@@hayleyb467me too. Who even is this ?
Maybe you just have to be old? Lol. I'm the same age as the good doc, and I have no idea who Crowder is. Name and face mean nothing to me.
@@or6712I'm over a decade younger than Dr Honda and THANKFULLY had no clue about this pathetic excuse of a human being
Honestly, I try to avoid knowing these folks because I think they feed off of my anger.
Why can't HE take an Uber to go to the gym or his parents? If she's going to the grocery store, it's easier to load the groceries into her own car. And why isn't the man helping his 8 months pregnant wife with the groceries?
They could have done all of that crap together.
@@trafficcontrol2420 she specifically was saying she wanted space for a bit
Because it's HIS car. He is the bread winner. She is a spoiled brat. She didn't get exactly what she wanted so she threw a tantrum
She wasn't leaving to go get the groceries. Watch the video. She is trying to leave and offers to get groceries on her way back whenever that is.
Because he isn’t a man
Her side leaked it because he made a public statement on his show attacking womens right to file for divorce where there’s no adultery or physical assault. And he did it while disclosing his divorce was happening.
And it had been requested and approved by a judge to keep it private iirc. He publicly humiliated her with his video, seemingly continuing the abuse cycle and opening it up to his followers to attack her. I was horrified by it, and not at all surprised when this video was leaked. I hope she's keeping safe.
Yeah, he should see that video
@@mokc913 I feel very scared for her because followers are crazy and they may make an example. Hope she is alright
@K C what was in the video he leaked?
@@marylander3798 he didn't leak any video...they don't know what they are talking about
Crowder is, unfortunately, extremely popular online and has the money to show it. The fact that he and his wife only have one car is very suspicious to me. They could definitely afford two or more of them. Total speculation, of course, but my first thought on this was that the reason to have only one car is for Crowder to be able to control his wife.
This.
1000%. Quite literally no other reason
EDIT: Actually, they could have only one car if another is in the shop. But they are wealthy enough to have insurance that provides a rental in that case. And telling HER to get an Uber instead of HIM getting one for the GYM or to see his FRIENDS is ridiculous. And with kids, multiple cars is important they need to be rushed to the hospital or something while one parent is out.
The one car is so he can control her movements. It's just sad to hear because my god the woman is pregnant. She should not be stressed like this
Yeah she's a woman she can't make her own money right? It's his fault that she relied on him for everything not hers.
@@totalduckkiller3895 trad men: I'm looking for a stay at home wife to make me meals and raise my children and be okay with me being the sole financial provider
Trad women: *accepts offer and tries to go grocery shopping while pregnant with what trad husband provided*
Trad husband: *crying* that doesn't work EEIIIITHERRR! YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE RELIED ON ME! 😫😫😫
This man is a multimillionaire. He could 1) get another car or 10 2) have a maid 3) get delivery groceries ... the entire fight is pointless and entirely of his making.
He could even order groceries to his home address... So many options.
What if they have 2 cars and one is in the shop? Once again we know nothing and we don't have to make shit up.
@@Crimsonwhocares that’s a good point. I just assumed they had one car so he could control her more. But they could have two cars and one is just down for the moment. I don’t know.
He does it for control
@@Crimsonwhocares We absolutely do know that's not the case , I'm actually blown away by how many people are coming to his defense with this pathetic excuse. They refer to it over and over again as THE car, if they had their own cars, they would not refer to it as the car. Also 99% of the time your car is in the shop, they give you a rental. Acting like we don't know anything about Crowder is insane, he's a blatant misogynistic pig who wears an empty gun holster to make himself feel tough.
I can't imagine being a full grown pregnant woman and my wealthy husband refuses to give me my own car so that he can control where I go and talks about "disciplining" me like I am a damn child.
How do you know they don't have 2 cars and that one was in the shop? Or maybe the wife really pressured to only have one car because she is very fiscally responsible. You know nothing about the situation and that is fine. Stop at knowing nothing and don't make shit up.
My husband openly said that he felt justified in " punishing" me when he felt annoyed by me. This was done by withholding things, like the car, money, refusing to have broken things repaired, isolating me, destroying my reputation with others and insults about my body, personality, social background, family history and intellect. Then he became very ill and I had to take care of him for years and had use of the car and bank account. But he had the last laugh. He died and his very wealthy family left me penniless. Life became very hard and basic necessities were often lacking but at least I could make decisions for myself. 13 years later people are still snubbing me or being rude because of lies my husband told them. I'll be 70 years old in a few months, living in poverty but see the time I have left as the best time of my life. I finally have peace.
She can. She married this guy. She's not mentally all there. I'll just default to assuming both are sick in the head.
@@katellaI'm so sorry you had to live through that for so long. And am happy you have found peace. Your story gives me hope that I'll find mine one day. Thank you for sharing 💜
@@weirddingus4620
You understand how manipulation and abuse works right?
It's a slow process of breaking somone down.
You are not very smart.
To give a little context to this argument and why he was saying "put the gloves on", is due to an argument they had earlier. The dog you see in the video recently went to the vet and was given medication that needed to be administered (I assume by mouth) and Steven wanted her to do this task. She did not want to give this medication because it is known to cause life-threatening illnesses in pregnant women. This then turns into a "show me how much you love me", and "if you love me you will put the gloves on" from Steven. It's obvious he doesn't care about her or their unborn twins considering he is smoking a cigar and blows the smoke into her face (he also shouldn't be smoking because he has a heart condition). You see her walking back and forth between the dog and the door (even getting the leash) is her thinking about appeasing him. As he watches her he gets upset because she isn't folding/submitting.
My assumption based on this video is her trying to get away from him, not to get groceries. The fact that they only have one car is pretty telling how their relationship is and how Steven isolates her. She keeps reassuring Steven that she isn't leaving him for good but that she needs to get groceries. To me, that seems like a common argument between them, which makes it seem like Steven has jealousy issues as well as being controlling and manipulative. It also could be an indication that in previous arguments Hiliary would leave (in her car) when he would start verbally abusing her.
To add more context, Steven was cutting her out of his income and any assets he had while speaking to a divorce attorney before this video. Steven also had an elective heart surgery (that wasn't a life or death situation, it was an elective service) scheduled the week when he knew his children would be born and as a result missed his childrens birth. People are speculating that this "aggression" might be due to drama that happened days earlier between another UA-cam Channel, H3H3, where Steven was humiliated/embarrassed. I personally think this contributed to it but isn't the sole reason why. It is obvious that Steven is a bully and now others are coming forward to say that he is one, including his co-host Dan. I won't go into the more disturbing/disgusting things he has done to his old coworkers and even his own dad but he has a track record of being an abuser. What is sad about this is Hiliary's parents have come forward to say their daughter was hiding his abusive behavior from them since 2012.
Thank you for covering this, I hope someone who might be in a situation like this will find your video and understand what they are going through isn't okay.
Wow, jesus. I had no idea who this guy was until this video started circulating
Just for context. The "heart surgery" was actually a chest/ribcage surgery. He had a chest cartilage deformity called Pectus Excavatum (sunken chest) which SOMETIMES affects internal organs including heart, but seeing his chest I doubt it caused him any heart problems. The problem likely only blocked a small percentage of his lung capacity . His deformity was very average which means that hisbsurgey was probably for "cosmetic" reasons.
So, yeah... "Heart surgery" was for clickbait.
I had a similar deformity (Pectus Carinatum, pigeon chest) which I fixed through a brace. I understand completely how the deformity hurts your confidence and self picture, but the surgery could've waited for sure given the situation he was in.
Not to mention she already had a miscarriage so she would be extra worried and extra cautious about wanting to keep the babies safe. Which is totally understandable.
Im so glad she got out, this reminded me so much of my abusive ex. If youve been through it theres no question as to what is happening in the situation.
@@NM-ej3xwmy husband has the same condition and although he hates it aesthetically, it does nothing to him health wise. So yeah. Not an emergency surgery.
Many many many co-workers explained that he humiliated them frequently and even sexually harassed his male co-workers by doing disgusting things including exposing his genitalia and placing it on others. I’m surprised this man had anyone willing to marry him. Glad she and her kids escaped
She's 8 months pregnant with his twins, this video takes place at the height of the pandemic, and *she* is supposed to take the Uber to go shopping just *in case* he wants to go to the gym later or whatever. Argh.
Even pandemic, aside, when I was obviously pregnant, there is no way I would want to take an Uber anyway. The lack of personal control and potential safety hazards of being out and about and getting in strangers’ car while heavily pregnant is just not great unless it’s your only option imo. And I can’t believe that any loving partner would want their pregnant partner to do that if they weren’t comfortable with it.
@@foolishlyfoolhardy6004 yes. If we didn’t already know, he’s an asshole and definitely didn’t love her (not the way I understood love at least).
She could get a ride from a friend too, why just not say okay and leave, then there would be no argument
she is 8 months pregnant...you can judge him when the wife is 8 months pregnant. Like what chores does she need to do
8 months pregnant with *twins* 😫😫
He wants her to give his dogs medicine that is toxic for pregnant women, that's what he keeps going on about the gloves with (not sure if that made it into part one of Dr. Hondas cut but it's part of this video)
@@meeveekins oh I didn't know that, wtf
To grow two humans. That’s her only chore. This guy is disgusting. Embarrassed to admit that seeing his life unravel sparks the deepest joy 😂😂
@@eh1126 that is embarrassing
This is one of the most clear examples of verbal abuse/ coercive control I’ve ever witnessed, while watching my heart completely dropped. Been waiting for your education on the topic. Thank you Dr Honda
Yes. We need to raise awareness of this sort of abuse. It's pervasive in our society and many perpetrators believe they're "just telling you how they feel."
Literally no one can watch a video with a woman and a man and take the man's side of he doesn't prostrate himself before her feet.
@@Crimsonwhocares Call a wambulance already.
@@Crimsonwhocares she is 8 months pregnant with twins, and he wants her to put on gloves to give medication which can be toxic to pregnant people to their dog. And to go get his groceries, including wood pellets for the grill. She is using her body to build 2 more humans for their family, and he degrades her and calls her an unworthy wife for not handling toxic substances and doing HIS heavy lifting. Yeah, that's not even manly per his own myopic, binary world view. He doesn't need to prostrate, just to stop literally making her do things that endanger his own partner and children (while blowing smoke in her face and also disallowing a grown person to leave her own home, which could be false imprisonment if he prevents her physically as well).
@@emanzeism exactly my point. Men are cry babies. Never show emotion other than anger because no one can attack you for being weak if you are signaling that you are willing to fight (at least face to face).
Honestly though there are a lot of red flags in the video, but there are no obvious and clear examples of abuse/coercive control. More details could come out that turn the interaction entirely around (as long as you base your opinions off of evidence). This clip provides great context for evaluating more of their interactions but we cannot make any strong claims off of a single fight.
Imagine having to share your children with him and co-parenting with him. I got exhausted and steessed watching this. This reminds me of my childhood. Bless her for leaving and i hope he doesnt abuse the children like this.
He expects unquestioning obedience from his WIFE. What are the chances he expects it from his kids?
@@emanzeism 😬😬fair point
He will 100% abuse the children now. He is going to try and pin the kids against her, and when he has his visits he's going to talk terrible about her.
I hope she gets full custody.
@@emanzeism That's why I wrote "I hope" it isn't a question to be answered, just a prayer that he gets help for his kids sake.
To give you background. The wife refused to give his dog medication that is toxic to the baby. Here is his ultimate man-child move.
Wow
Whew. What a turd.
Yes, thank you for explaining! She was worried about the babies and he didn't want to PUT DOWN HIS CIGAR and do it. Also, does he even want his dogs to be heathy?
@@TheFinkkid9 he can't walk them either apparently, have to feel sorry for the dogs.
@@bananawammabama
how do you feel about the fact that woman are out here dating for resources and men are looking for the youngest, freshest, & lowest body count freshman to make their main chick. Maybe she was being disobedient, maybe he found out she didn’t keep her body count down, or maybe even she was upset that he spent the wife with another woman; who knows. She should understand that men have to cheat due to their biology and he is a high value man. He’s the prize woman are chasing him, he can replace her in an instant and she is being disobedient and not following his lead or submitting to his desires and that’s a big problem when a woman doesn’t submit because men lead and woman follow. Men are bigger, stronger, faster, taller, and more logically sound and she should recognize he is her superior. He’s the prize.
He belives his wife shouldnt be able to file for divorce without his consent.
No.. he's talking about no-fault divorce. Even if both parties consent they wouldn't be able to without no-fault divorce. He thinks people should only be able to get divorced if they can prove certain, pre-determined faults.
@@k-j-k Which is ironic given that Hillary is going super easy on him when she has this video, proof he didn't show up for his children's birth, his nasty "statement" going against orders to keep it private, proof he cut her off financially, and a long list of other bridges he's burned. The size and fragility of Crowder's ego is unmatched to the point where he can't save his last drop of dignity.
@@k-j-k emotional and verbal abuse is probably an approved reason ; maybe she put out the video to give him what he wanted 😅 fault divorce
Some context to help understand: Crowder is an evangelical Christian and his wife was raised in an evangelical family as well. Much of the recent events are traced a couple months back, when he was offered a four year contract by Ben Shapiro's DailyWire, and turned it down. He publicly shamed the company, and accused them of offering a "slave contract". Daily Wire released the contract and there was backlash against Crowder when it was revealed it was a preliminary terms sheet and he was offered $50 million dollars.
The most aggressive personality at DailyWire in attacking Crowder was Candace Owens, who intimated that he was keeping something secret, and asked people to pray for him. Cut to two weeks ago, Steven claims that Candace Owens had blackmailed him. He revealed that he got a divorce in 2021 and had been keeping it secret. In his statement he stated that he did not want to get divorced, and that he was only unable to avoid it because Texas is a no fault divorce state. He stated that he "picked wrong" when it came to choosing a wife.
His wife took offense to his portrayal of events and released the video and some documents to Yashar Ali. She made it clear that it was Steven who retained a divorce attorney and bought a second home before any separation. She also showed some correspondence proving that he had made physical threats in the past.
If true, this is very informative. Thanks for the background info.
@@andedom it's accurate.
If he had the money to buy a second home, he definitely had the money to buy a second car...
Yeah. This divorce is 99 percent his fault. From what I can tell. And he’s trying so hard to play victim.
"Watch what, buddy". Felt so protected that it made me cry.
It's very ironic to me that he's so opposed to no-fault divorce, because if he hadn't made her feel like she needed to "prove fault," she may never have aired his dirty laundry.
Right! He would be divorced regardless with the laundry list of horrible things he's done to her. He is delusional.
@@spOOkytimes
how do you feel about the fact that woman are out here dating for resources and men are looking for the youngest, freshest, & lowest body count freshman to make their main chick. Maybe she was being disobedient, maybe he found out she didn’t keep her body count down, or maybe even she was upset that he spent the night with another woman; who knows. She should understand that men have to cheat due to their biology and he is a high value man. He’s the prize woman are chasing him, he can replace her in an instant and she is being disobedient and not following his lead or submitting to his desires and that’s a big problem when a woman doesn’t submit because men lead and woman follow. Men are bigger, stronger, faster, taller, and more logically sound and she should recognize he is her superior. He’s the prize.
Doesn’t fault divorce just make where if she gets divorced she gets none of the assets?
What I don’t understand is why he’s so opposed to someone she knows picking her up. Why would he rather she gets driven around by a stranger in an Uber?
Great question, he immediately asked if it was a threat which makes me think it's either a male friend, or maybe a family member and they've discussed her leaving and staying with family before.
I don't think he wants anyone to pick her up. I think he wants her home 24/7.
If she only sees strangers, she's isolated
@@charisma-hornum-fries
how do you feel about the fact that woman are out here dating for resources and men are looking for the youngest, freshest, & lowest body count freshman to make their main chick. Maybe she was being disobedient, maybe he found out she didn’t keep her body count down, or maybe even she was upset that he spent the night with another woman; who knows. She should understand that men have to cheat due to their biology and he is a high value man. He’s the prize woman are chasing him, he can replace her in an instant and she is being disobedient and not following his lead or submitting to his desires and that’s a big problem when a woman doesn’t submit because men lead and woman follow. Men are bigger, stronger, faster, taller, and more logically sound and she should recognize he is her superior. There’s millions of beautiful woman anywhere in the world, but very little high value men. He is the *_Prize._*
@@bananawammabama He probably didn't want any friends or family to know he was being abusive and refusing to let her use the car.
She is afraid of him and is trying to calm him down.
This is indistinguishable from a conflict avoidant partner.
@@Crimsonwhocareshow is it conflict avoidant? All she had to do to avoid conflict was not take the car lol odd how many assumptions people make from nothing.
He’s the “Change My Mind” guy. Here’s what he said when he announced his divorce: "I have been living with a proverbial boot on my neck for going on years now; since 2021, I have been living through what has increasingly been a horrendous divorce. And no, this is not been my choice. My then wife decided she didn't want to be married anymore. And in the State of Texas, that is completely permitted. She simply wanted out, and the law says that is how it works. It's no one else's fault but my own in that I picked wrong. And that certainly isn't the fault of my children."
Wtf you pretentious freak. It's "permitted" that she got to divorce you? You wanted the law to force her to stay with you? 🤣🤣🤣 You are WILD boy
🤮🤮
"My then wife decided she didn't want to be married anymore. She simply wanted out and the law says that is how it works" how else is it supposed to work? 🙄
@Luke you really think the whole thing makes him look better?
@@Sendemonhom Empathize with what exactly? These are all his consequences for his own actions. He abused her, admitted to physically threatening her, talked about the divorce when he was ordered not to, lied about her initiating the divorce when he hired lawyers first, missed their children's birth for a surgery he could have re-scheduled, and directly insulted her online on his massive platform in a video their kids could see one day. He also sexually harassed and bullied his employees, fired people who were more talented than him, and accused Candace Owens of a crime she did not commit, extortion.
He’s a HUGE scumbag! Guaranteed this wasn’t the 1st time he acted like this!
SPECULATION: she leaked this cuz he talked about the divorce publicly & it was agreed not to. He wanted her to give their dog a toxic med to their dog..while pregnant. She wanted to leave for a bit, to have some space but since they only had 1 car…he had a baby tantrum! “That doesn’t work, EITHER!”
A multi-millionaire living in a house with a pool but can only afford one car for the household. Even if there’s a second car in repair, why wouldn’t a man this rich get a rental so that his heavily pregnant wife isn’t trapped in the house when he leaves? To trap her, that’s why.
@@jakestroll6518 exactly
That doesn't work EEIITTHERRR 😡😭👶
@@meowJACK hes such a baby. Who says that!
@@meowJACK 😂🤣😂🤣. Emphasis, of course…on EEEEITHERRRR!😂
Why couldn't he get dropped off at the gym, potentially meet up with friends, and she take the car to due groceries and pick him up? He doenst compromise, he just tells her she needs DISCIPLINE! He's berating her.
Because he didn't have any plans. He wanted to have the car "in case" he wants to go to the gym, friends etc.
Tbh I think he wants her to feel locked, because he feels locked for some reason. So he's punishing her for something.
He uses the one car to control her. Idk why so many people are confused as to why a multimillionaire only has 1 car.
@@darkprince56
how do you feel about the fact that woman are out here dating for resources and men are looking for the youngest, freshest, & lowest body count freshman to make their main chick. Maybe she was being disobedient, maybe he found out she didn’t keep her body count down, or maybe even she was upset that he spent the night with another woman; who knows. She should understand that men have to cheat due to their biology and he is a high value man. He’s the prize woman are chasing him, he can replace her in an instant and she is being disobedient and not following his lead or submitting to his desires and that’s a big problem when a woman doesn’t submit because men lead and woman follow. Men are bigger, stronger, faster, taller, and more logically sound and she should recognize he is her superior. There’s millions of beautiful woman anywhere in the world, but very little high value men. He is the *_Prize._*
For anyone who is not aware, Steven Crowder's politics are absolutely horrid. I'm talking non-stop sexism, classism, racism, homophobia and transphobia. After the news of his divorce were made public, he and many of his right-wing commentator colleagues have been talking about how divorce should only be legal in cases where mistreatment can be proved. Biggest possible yikes.
I remember seeing a while ago his video, where he was expressing his disapproval at how wives can divorce if they wanted to without the husband's permission. He's basically angry that women have free will & freedom. Big yikes indeed!
It's always sad when people enter in relationships with people like this, thinking they are an exception. They aren't.
@@Cahriicchuu see handmaid's tale. 😬
Leftist call everyone sexist, homophobic and racist, to the point where those words are worthless
Thank you. I wish i knew all of this when I was leaving my abusive ex. I’m happy now, safe, my kids are doing okay and I’m in Therapy.
Happy for you 💕
I'm so happy for you.
U go girl!!
14:45 Apparently he’s had problems with ex-employees in the past and they all say he’s extremely insecure and controlling
My heart goes out to Hilary. Listening to her voice, hearing her sharp breaths, she is clearly very distraught and is trying to hard to de-escalate this man (who really should be DOTING in her at that time, but instead is making her life so much harder). I hope her and her littles are finding peace in their new lives
While the cameras are on and she's setting him up to take half his money. No one knows what happened before this video or they days or weeks before.
Clearly a set up
The video and audio cuts due to lack of motion detection at some points 3:21
What scared me was when he said "Watch it, watch it" He is disgusting.
watch it!
Based on his tone, the whole "feeling some constraints?....I'm boxed in..." part sounds like hes referencing a past conversation where she had stated she felt boxed in. It's very mocking-like. And it's not hard to imagine how she'd feel that way considering she couldn't even take their 1 car while 8 months pregnant with twins
I am getting some serious schadenfreude from watching Crowder's life unravel. It really couldn't have happened to a better person.
Manipulating tactics, he plays the victim and classic blames her
This video has been so helpful, I paused it several times to take notes. As a survivor of narcissistic abuse, I would absolutely love more videos like this where you break down what's been said, done, and why. I think it would be so helpful for people to learn the tactics and signs of toxic or abusive arguments. Also, I think it would help to see a healthy argument in a relationship. Thanks so much for what you do. This was so informative! 💯
How big of a red flag is it when someone amps up until you finally lose control and yell and then they get calm
Huge. People like Crowder will press your buttons until you get emotionally volatile, they find satisfaction in knowing they can control you in this way. Being an emotionally decently-adjusted person, you then feel bad or angry for sinking to their level and they gas-light you into thinking you're the irrational one that has mental issues and/or use it to justify their continued abuse "I wouldn't treat you this way if you were/weren't x, y, z".
how do you feel about the fact that woman are out here dating for resources and men are looking for the youngest, freshest, & lowest body count freshman to make their main chick. Maybe she was being disobedient, maybe he found out she didn’t keep her body count down, or maybe even she was upset that he spent the night with another woman; who knows. She should understand that men have to cheat due to their biology and he is a high value man. He’s the prize woman are chasing him, he can replace her in an instant and she is being disobedient and not following his lead or submitting to his desires and that’s a big problem when a woman doesn’t submit because men lead and woman follow. Men are bigger, stronger, faster, taller, and more logically sound and she should recognize he is her superior. There’s millions of beautiful woman anywhere in the world, but very little high value men. He is the *_Prize._*
I had a parent like that. 💯
At first glance, this MILLIONAIRE could have bought his wife a car and theoretically avoided this whole damn conversation. But we all know, her not having a car is a just a by-product of a much more serious issue going on here.
I had never known of this man but the moment I heard him say “wifely duties” I knew it was some kind of right-wing talking head. Funny how that works 😂😂
But as a man and breadwinner it isn't his duty to provide an automobile 🫤
They only use those arguments when it demeans a woman
This is not limited to right leaning men- please don’t pull politics into men abusing their wives. It happens in all cultures and on all sides of political beliefs
@@trustyourpulse thank you.
@@trustyourpulse Everything is political. To pretend his political beliefs have nothing to do with his abuse when he directly invokes them here is absurd.
@@epileptictrees5213 I've learned in this comment section that people hate correlations.
Sad. The one thing I did right in my life is not having a child with a toxic ex. I can’t imagine having to deal with an ex after you’ve left for 18 years. And it’s scary too! He is hostile
Further context: About a week earlier, a person that Crowder had previously challenged to a debate, Sam Seder, but had also been avoiding actually debating for months, surprising him on Crowder's own podcast. Crowder reacted in rather juvenile way to the surprise, literally ran from the situation, and ended the episode very soon afterward, earlier than usual. Crowder was ridiculed a lot for running away, by both the Left and especially by the Right.
What an idiotic comment
@@foolishlyfoolhardy6004 absolutely, but it does show that the people around him are just his punching bags and servants. He can dish out abuse left and right, but he can't take valid points in a debate.
@@spOOkytimes
how do you feel about the fact that woman are out here dating for resources and men are looking for the youngest, freshest, & lowest body count freshman to make their main chick. Maybe she was being disobedient, maybe he found out she didn’t keep her body count down, or maybe even she was upset that he spent the night with another woman; who knows. She should understand that men have to cheat due to their biology and he is a high value man. He’s the prize woman are chasing him, he can replace her in an instant and she is being disobedient and not following his lead or submitting to his desires and that’s a big problem when a woman doesn’t submit because men lead and woman follow. Men are bigger, stronger, faster, taller, and more logically sound and she should recognize he is her superior. There’s millions of beautiful woman anywhere in the world, but very little high value men. He is the *_Prize._*
This is hands down the most balanced, compassionate, nonjudgmental assessment of this incident. Thank you!
Sometimes, even if you do submit to an abuser, they will continue to verbally berate you, anyway.
I'm looking forward to your perspective on this, but I am not looking forward to the potential mistreatment you might receive. I hope you (and the Pod-Wife Stacey) are taking care of yourselves and don't take any trolls seriously. They don't deserve your attention / energy.
Yes! Please take care!
Yep, funny how anytime someone talk about one of these right wing grifters they suddenly need to worry about receiving death threats, harassment, etc. Great audiences they have 🙃
What mistreatment, people just disagreeing with him is mistreatment? I think I’m his breakdown was definitely biased though lol
It is soooo cute that Dr Honda approaches this situation with so much understanding and tenderness, not knowing what a hateful person Steven Crowder is.
That's what a therapist should do. Baby's aren't hateful. Even he somehow became this way and somehow this makes sense in his head
@@YesJellyfish It doesn't just make sense in his head, he makes deliberate decisions every single day to spew hate into the world, trigger and influence his followers in the most hateful ways. He pretends to be a comedian but did anyone laugh when he did a "skit" re-enacting George Floyd's murder and pretend that he was fine when someone was pretending to put their full weight on his neck? He is deeply sick.
@@bananawammabamayeah I'd have to agree... What's crazy is we all know how this story ends. In a decade or so he will unalive himself unless he gets extensive help.
Its insane to me how common this type of behavior is. I didnt realize until I frequented mom and parent forums online. Its so routine to see women posting about their abusive partners and asking if they did something to deserve it. Its bad out here.
There is a marriage subreddit and half of the posts are lovey dovey or general questions/concerns and the other half are wild like "my spouse has been hitting me. Should I stay?"
If it is common, it goes both ways.
@@itv5610 yes it does. Nobody said otherwise.
@@alman8908 The op clearly was talking exclusively about women.
@@itv5610 yes, because this video is talking about male to female abuse. She was talking about it, but talking about one thing doesnt exclude the other.
If you would feel sorry for and express it to a cancer patient, it doesnt exclude feeling sorry for a diabetic patient aswell.
Why do I have to explain this to you? Its common mannerism.
This video is so triggering for me because this was just like my last relationship. It takes such a mental toll because these monsters can't listen to reason. You begin to doubt reality. You begin to doubt your consciousness (I legitimately believed I was mentally ill in the throes of this relationship). This is abuse. I understand you're trying to be sympathetic of the abuser but feeling sympathy for my abuser only made him more dangerous.
I sincerely pray you are in a better place now, and perhaps have found someone more worthy of you.
The video and audio cuts due to lack of motion detection at some points 3:21
This type of abuse reminds me of my narc brother. The only defense to them is to gray rock. You dont argue, you set boundaries and leave asap. Hes tried to control us and make us play board games with him and his gf, but when we decided not to he started to attack my husband. He wanted us to be perfect little minions to show his gf hes a family man. Any small rejection was a huge blow to his ego.
When he says she’s giving up easily it means he doesn’t want her opt out of the conflict. So he can keep abusing her verbally
I feel so sorry she went through that, he seems absolutely impossible to be in a functional and healthy relationship with. I hope her and the twins are okay.
If you've watched any of his political takes, this type of abuse is 0% surprising. Still hurts to watch, so glad she left him and took the kids
So people with opposite political views to him don't abuse people?
@@snowytits No? What a non sequitur
@@snowytits you should join the Olympics with how good at jumping to conclusions you are
@@Turtleluver26 it's just scummy to see a woman's abuse as a win for your political team.
@@snowytits Nowhere in this comment did OP say that. What I assume they meant is that when you know about Crowder's misogynistic politics, it's not really surprising to see him putting down his wife by talking to her about how she needs "discipline and respect" and complaining about her not doing her "wifely duties"
I'm so glad to see you break this down. This was my experience and it's important for people to understand how living with someone like this affects you.
I like how you explain about her confusion. That was my experience. For many years I would cry and that would calm him down. But when our counselor told me it was abuse, I stopped blaming myself. Then the abuse ramped up 100% because he could no longer control me with the same tactics.
I don’t get how this is abuse? If she said hey I’m going and he said well I don’t want you to take the car she could of just be okay I’ll get a ride and that would be the end. I think this is a complete set up on her part, things are going bad in their marriage now and there is millions at risk here. She knew saying that she is taking the car would start an argument and played the part in front of the camera. Women who go through abuse tend to see it everywhere cause they fear men, well it’s not and sometimes people just have arguments.
I've been waiting for this
I used to work for a company like that as intake coordinator. So I’d get the court mandated people and match them with a therapist to start the process for therapy and classes. The DV people would always try to manipulate me once they realize I was female or when they realized I wasn’t going to do the hard work for them. It was such a toxic environment! I had some people get my number and harass me and try following me on Facebook! Once I got pregnant it was no longer safe for me so I eventually quit but it was so interesting the types of people I would see.
Thank you for covering this!
Does the way Steven Crowder argue remind anyone else of Amber Heard? “You always quit, you always give up” while doing things to make people quit and give up. It’s giving borderline characteristics in my uninformed opinion
Thank you for covering this, Dr. Honda. I hadn’t heard of this person or situation. Please do take care of yourself. You deserve it, you really, really do ❤
Be careful with the kind of following he has.
I hope you have set good boundaries between you and the people you receive in the comments over youtube Dr. K, it can be hard sometimes!
Please take care!
Be careful like his life is in danger?
Important Missing Context, Some Of It From The Article This Came From And Some From Steven Crowder:
- She or her family leaked this video after Steven went public that they were recently divorced. He complained about his wife being allowed to divorce him and said there was no abuse on either side nor cheating on either side." He complains about no fault divorce.
-Seven crowder makes at minimum tens of millions of dollars every year and has one car by choice. He controls all the money in the relationship
-He says "you are not taking the car" she says "then I will ask someone to pick me up. Who would you like me to ask?" and then he says "is that a threat?"
-The fight was triggered by Steven telling her to put medicine on the dog. She doesn't want to put the medication on the dog because she's concerned it will harm their unborn children.
-He got the divorce lawyer, initially. We don't know if he asked for the divorce or he just got the attorney as a way to control her "do what I say or I will leave you" We don't know.
-They were married before Steven Crowder became famous. They were a purity culture, no sex before marriage couple, so I'm assuming she has or at least had similar politics to him. I bring it up because he has complained about women marrying rich men and taking half their shit around the time they got divorced. This was not the case with them. She married him before he was rich and famous. A lot of people victim blame on this point based on who Steven Crowder is, but she dated him before he became youtube famous.
Your insight & perspective on abusive behavior is so helpful!!
I'm not surprised. I watched a few videos of this guy's and had to turn it off and ask YT not to recommend his videos anymore. People can have their views of gender dynamics in relationships, but he was so over the top and angry about it that I could feel the temper radiating from the screen.
How did this video get leaked, anyway? Does this have anything to do with his drama with the Daily Wire?
Its alleged that his wife leaked it to a journalist then Candace Owens shared it on her UA-cam channel.
@@foolishlyfoolhardy6004 Manage your history, meaning delete videos with the offending topic. Works immediately (with a refresh), nothing else does.
Her family leaked it due to his online temper tantrums and lies about her. TW: More awful things he has done. He lawyered up first, missed their children's birth for a surgery he could have rescheduled, and cut her off financially. I am open to redemption on his side, but he has yet to do anything remotely redeemable.
@@luna-p
how do you feel about the fact that woman are out here dating for resources and men are looking for the youngest, freshest, & lowest body count freshman to make their main chick. Maybe she was being disobedient, maybe he found out she didn’t keep her body count down, or maybe even she was upset that he spent the night with another woman; who knows. She should understand that men have to cheat due to their biology and he is a high value man. He’s the prize woman are chasing him, he can replace her in an instant and she is being disobedient and not following his lead or submitting to his desires and that’s a big problem when a woman doesn’t submit because men lead and woman follow. Men are bigger, stronger, faster, taller, and more logically sound and she should recognize he is her superior. There’s millions of beautiful woman anywhere in the world, but very little high value men. He is the *_Prize._*
Steven Crowder went on his program and said quite a few things misrepresenting his divorce; subsequently, his wife and her family released this video to a journalist. Steven’s sister, in law, was interviewed on behalf of the family. This video was released to set the record straight after Steven addressed his wife and his pending divorce. Steven would make several misrepresentative claims with some low-key condescending patriarchy to thousands of live viewers.
This video was really helpful and educational. Thank you Dr. Honda
I spent almost a decade trapped in this exact same cycle… You could not convince me that I couldn’t learn how to eventually reason with my partner… I was certain that the issue lie with me, that I lacked the logic, the ability to formulate a coherent argument that could be understood…. My doubts were reinforced every single time he would ask if I needed crayons to explain myself, everytime he was deliberately obtuse… I’d give in and give in and give in…. I’d feel drained and resentful, I found myself crying hot tears in warm showers, trying to discharge my anger and frustration… Not anger at him, or how he treated me. No! Anger with my own stupid self!
I hope you continue to turn that anger out, give your sweet self some room to breathe.
I went through the exact same garbage with my ex, dictionary definition. It started out just like Dr. Honda said, with confusion, boundary-pushing, with me thinking “maybe this is my fault after all”, “maybe I interpreted it wrong”, “maybe we can work this out” etc. It is all sadly effective, until victims slowly realise it is not their fault. That they are not stupid. I just wish someone could have planted that seed of “this is abuse, you need to leave” as it was already so hard, even if my relationship was only 8 months - it really wrecked me mentally. I had to wait and wait to be confident enough to reach out myself. It’s just so sad and pains me to see others in that position too
This could easily be my own trauma speaking, but she sounds legit scared at the end she is saying “I love you”
Like she’s trying to placate him so he doesn’t explode 😢
You are right. He storms after her and threatens to physically harm her which he admitted to. Also "watch it" is a clear threat.
Yeah, I'm so glad that you noticed that HE suggested they were at an impasse first and she essentially just agreed with what he said and then he flip-flopped and made it look like she first said they were at an impasse and got upset at her for saying that but really she was just agreeing with what HE initially said .... So many people didn't catch that. It's really manipulative and kind of gaslighty. For him to get upset at HER over something that HE said that she just agreed with.
I really appreciated your takes on this.
I found you to be incredibly observant. You've earned my sub doc!
I like how you break down and walk us through your professional perspective
Ooooooohhhh the trigger here was real! My dad was like this with my mom…. Such a prik eww
For context the reason he keeps saying, "put on the gloves" is that he's insisting she give the dogs medicine that may be toxic for pregnant women.
When I first saw the video I thought oooh I would love to see what dr. Kirk has to say about this. Thanks for doing this video ❤️😊
Watching this I'm just really excited for her to finally discover what a free peaceful life looks like together with her child.
Aaaaah. The only reaction that matters. Thank you for your insight, Dr. Honda
Hi comments! Just bc politics are mentioned doesn’t mean you can’t look at the details of the situation! Don’t discount analysis just because one of the parties is a political personality.
Crowder has extreme beliefs. And all beliefs are “political” in some capacity. His beliefs and values align with his political leaning. But we can put aside the division across the aisle and look at what is actually happening here and the values involved.
Dr. Honda, thank you for addressing this, it’s an important use case. I hope people can be kind and take a step back to see the bigger picture :)
Really great video, perfect breakdown.
It's a minor thing, but I didn't even notice the dog's body language. You're right, the dog definitely senses the tension.
24 minutes in and this hit me. It was not until someone who had known both me and my ex for a few years asked me, "why do you let him talk to you like that?" I finally was able to step back and really think about the situation. Years later and a divorce and that ex used parental alienation to now have 2/3 of my children no longer speak with me at all. I still struggle with the feeling that whatever is wrong it was my fault, that I make stupid choices and decisions and that I am always wrong. I was in that relationship for nearly 15 years and a decade after the divorce it is still hard and I struggle.
Your children will grow and hopefully see your side one day❤ sorry you have to go through it
Hi Dr Honda. I watch and enjoy most of the videos you post. I appreciate your insights immensely. Sometimes I wish you would watch the entire video/episode and then react. I find it a little hard to follow with the many stops and starts and the changes of reactions as you get more information. Thanks for all you do!
I agree with this critique
I was going to leave the same constructive criticism. In situations like this I wish he'd get up to date on the whole thing, including context, and then release a video calling out the things he'd like to discuss. It can get frustrating to watch pure reactions & all the hedging/disclaimers to half the info when all the info is out there.
Just to provide the opposite view, I think this (his current videos) are a winning format. I definitely prefer when Dr Kirk reacts as he goes! It's much more spontaneous but more valuable because of it, and also distinct from discussing a prepared topic like his podcasts.
@@qwr742 I agree with you bc I do love seeing his honest reaction. However, he does like to play the little game of "can I guess what they're going to say next" to see if he's right lol but he's so damn adorable that it doesn't really bother me bc I know he enjoys it. Buuut... He does feel the need to do constant disclaimers bc of his previous attacks during the Johnny Depp trial which can be a bit much but I understand why he has to do that. Ppl look for any reason to jump down his throat.
I love how accurate he is as he assesses them on his feet- I also think there might be copyright stuff where they can’t play the whole video at once?
I learned about that from h3 podcast. They covered it pretty well.
Familyyy❤
@@mokc913 family
And they made a fantastic little soundbite from his whining 🤣
That doesn't work eitherrrrr 😢
We need a campaign for a H3 x Dr Honda collab :)
His mental state has been on the decline. He has mentioned in the past depression and ADHD. I wonder how much of this due to under treatment or no existent treatment. I watched him religiously until he started grating on my nerves. I am honestly seeing combative and impulsive behavior consistent with under treated symptoms. I am not saying its right but it could be a factor. It is all coming together after her statements. This being said, a diagnosis is a reason not an excuse.
Absolutely. He seems unhinged. So many people think help is weakness. He’s a great debater. His debating here doesn’t even seem thought through. It’s all over the place. Fighting debating. Same thing to an extent. Definitely some mental health issues. Doesn’t excuse anything. His wife deserves peace and safety.
yes .. thank you so much for talking about the flip flop and the gaslighting effect. so relatable from my experience.
omg sometimes you kill me with how long it takes you to get through the video lol. love you tho, doc!
My husband and I are conservatives, this is not the example of marriage we want. It’s really safe that Hillary had to go through this, and we hope the best for her. Steven crowder has always been to crass for my tastes, I hope he gets some help. The fact he can remain seemingly calm in very heated debates but not with his wife is truly sad.
Wow, I genuinely couldn't watch more than 10 minutes of this. I'm sure it was a great commentary as usual, but ever part of this man and this interaction made me viscerally nauseous.
This is great. Super triggering with my history dealing with people with narcissistic behavior... but super enlightening and right on the money.
Steven Crowder seems to believe that he's funny, but I've watched a fair amount of him now, and seen maybe one instance of genuine humour. A lot of it is just cruel, racist, etc.
just wondering if you have any suggestions for resources, vids, etc. about attachment insecurity?
man i love the way you talk about things. I don't always agree with your takes, but I really appreciate the way you break things down to try and understand exactly what people MEAN so they can compromise.
LOVEEEE this! Gained a newbie 😌
A psychologist/therapist's job is very difficult... You do have to stay unbiased and withhold judgment, which would be very hard for me to do in this situation...
Dr. Honda, this helped me make sense of an abusive relationship (it’s a long process). Thank you for this video!
What is the Amaranth video thats being referenced?
i hadn't heard of him until a video podcast i watch covered it last week, was hoping DKH would cover!
My ex boyfriend was abusive toward me. He would never let me leave an argument to cool off. There were a couple of times when , as I went towards our bedroom door, he would grab me and throw me onto the bed and block the door so I couldn’t leave. Then he would proceed to berate me and scream in my face. This Steven Crowder video is all too familiar.
Thank you so much! I love that you didn't even know who Steven Crowder is, so we can enjoy your completely unbiased, professional take on this. I've seen the takes of all the leftist channels I follow, and it's steeped in all the drama and the politics, so I really appreciate this!
No way he's reacting to this, LOVE IT
It’s easy to watch this and think “girl, hang onto your car” assuming she had one before meeting him. But I’ve heard oodles of stories via The narcissist apocalypse about people giving up cars, jobs, friends and connections to the outside world which leaves them vulnerable to be totally controlled by their partner. Good on her that she appears to still have friends/a support system.
You should definitely cover his statement. It was so telling.
As a conservative and a Christian, his behavior is extremely cringe and against every teaching I’ve EVER heard about how to talk to and treat your wife. His behavior is super toxic and to us Christians -sinful. This is NOT how Jesus taught us to love. This is abusive totalitarianism.
‘Love your wife as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her.’ ‘Love is patient, love is kind, does not boast, is not arrogant or rude, does not insist on its own way…’
Both passages from the New Testament in the Bible that form a lot of teaching about marriage. I could go on.
He gets paid millions of dollars to reassure idiots that their worldview doesn't need to change. There is no excuse for there to be only one car.
You missed(misunderstood something important. She did not say she will call someone specific. She said if she can't have the car she will call someone to pick her up and she literally askes Crowder WHO HE WANTS HER TO CALL. (that breaks me every time.)
She doesn't even dare to call a friend to help her go grocery shopping while she is 8 months pregnant without her husbands permission.
He wants her to call an UBER to go grocery shopping. Who would do that to their 8 months pregnant wife or even a poor Uber driver - if there is the option to call one of her friends?
Very scary situation
what’s funny about steven is he’s so obsessed with being portrayed as an alpha man, but he can’t handle the slightest agitation without going in to a high pitched, squeaky, little girl type whines voice.😂RIP Crowder, you lose.
"when everyone is trying to win everybody loses."
Conflict in a relationship can be very difficult to navigate correctly, and I do feel like the obsession with being right... or more, the obsession with never being wrong, has been one of my greatest stumbling blocks in this