This Is Paris #2 - (Immaturity) - Therapist Reacts
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- Опубліковано 21 вер 2020
- Dr. Kirk Honda reacts to The Real Story of Paris Hilton - This Is Paris. Includes clips from This Is Paris (UA-cam).
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This content is for educational and informational purposes only. Although Kirk Honda is a licensed marriage and family therapist, this content is not a replacement for proper mental health treatment. Always seek the advice of your mental health provider regarding any questions or concerns you have about your mental health needs.
#ParisHilton #ThisIsParis - Наука та технологія
I think what Paris meant about a "bitch boy" has nothing to do with money, but more to do with a man who isn't going to be another "yes man" in her life. I suppose she's wanting a more independent man who has his own life and aspirations but still is genuine in his love/interest for her.
Literally what I was coming to the comments to say
Exactly what I was thinking! It’s obviously not about money but about the man’s own integrity and aspirations etc
Bingo. This is what I'm saying
I think being not a yes man is so easy shoes to fill that it must not be it and I think Dr. Honda take it to account too. With my dating experience, women who have "child mode" like she has are usually looking for a care taker who is super calm, collective and well-tuned with her moods so that she can be child-like and there is someone to take care of her in every situation. Problems with that is (1) these kind of personalities are rare and (2) it is hard to convince them to be in relationships that are so unbalanced.
Agree totally!! I think her bonding issues has alot to do with this as well
Paris doesnt want to take a vacation because then she has to be alone with her thoughts. Paris stays busy to keep her mind off ot
Sad how a bunch of us internet strangers seem to have more perspective on Paris and her trauma than her sister does... I suspect her parents treated her sister like the "golden child".
I agree with you!
@@hyun6587 Or thank God she has a sister who isn't an ass kissing fan....
To the loneliness point. I think it's also noteworthy that she also had an entire reality show devoted to finding her a best friend... never realized how sad that actually was until now.
Yes! She had a USA and UK version of that show. I think she also had an asian version but can't remember
A clear testament to her loneliness and lack of real human relationship. The setup was awful and fake.
I remember watching that show and seriously wanting to hang out with her but not just kiss her a*s! It's sad realizing it now how lonely she was.
I use to watch the Simple Life and I remember Paris Hilton saying if people ask you to do something. Do it terribly because they will never ask you again. It high key works
Haha I made the mistake of telling my parents this and now they don't believe I'm not acting when I do something badly 😂
My brother and I broke a few dishes trying to get out of doing them (we never had a dishwasher in our home growing up). It did not work out the way we hoped. We were still side by side washing dishes until we weren't in the house together anymore. In retrospect, I miss those moments, and value the practice of having chores for children. Unfortunately I was never in the right circumstance to have children of my own, I would love to share what my father tried to teach me.
Eli Sherlin Your comment reminded me of my own childhood, without a dishwasher - thanks 💐
Thankkks for this tip!
I remember and quote this all the fricken time. I love it, it’s hilarious!
“It’s easier to find a good romantic partner than to find a good friend”
I felt that way too hard
Lol same 🤭😬
I was going to comment the total opposite. I've moved around a decent amount and made friends most places where I lived and those progressed into deep friendships. Romantically - a complete dud. Hard getting dates, failure at forming a proper relationship, long-term stable partner is about as real to me as Santa Claus.
Speak for yourself. 😂😭
@@crazy4beatles same. Been on maybe 2 proper dates in the past 5 years. Lol
@@crazy4beatles Same here. ;)
I think her want for money is less about physical money and more about the concept of power. As long as her family has more money than her, they can still control her and the people around her.
I thought that she'd said exactly that. I watched another psychologist comment on this section and Paris said that...edited out by the commenter?
It's so crazy to me how someone can be so successful that they have everything they could ever want at the touch of a button, and still be convinced that they're not enough. Trauma is an unmerciful god. I hope she finds peace.
THIS 👏🏻👏🏻
Trauma will make you work just to keep yourself from thinking bad thoughts or doing harmful things. Peace always seems so evasive. 😞
@@MagickalMermaid "Trauma sends you letters, without warning,
for the rest of your life,
usually disguised as something else- "
-Brenna Twohy
Re: Baby Voice
I noticed that when Paris was apologetic to her sister in the earlier scenes, her voice also was a higher register
Yes.bcoz her sister was triggered by a normal human thing like forgetting a pair of sunglasses.Her sister was too tough on her and was worrying mainly about her own reputation like oh now we (I)will be late and this its not like me Paris, so look what its happening bcoz of u bla bla.Basically her sister has no empathy,probably their mom or dad is also like that I guess,only caring about reputation not the human,not the feelings.
WhyNot G she even told her to take a vacation instead of telling her to speak to a professional. This girl has a lot of emotional damage. I suspect she was also sexually abused during her time in those camps but is afraid to speak about it. Her sister is trying to heal her wounds with a bandaid when she’s cut way to deep at this point.
Her sister and mom treat Paris like a child
@@whynotg9568 I feel like being on time to an appointment is more important than having my sunglasses and everyone else waiting for me.
duke613 that’s what I thought too until I kept watching. Her sister lacks empathy and doesn’t see her as a whole human with trauma and baggage. She just sees her as her sister who is always winging it. Paris doesn’t need someone to tell her what to do, she needs someone to listen.
As a survivor of sexual abuse,...you are able to sense it in others, or at the very least, you can pick up on signs that other people might not notice. I have always sensed this in her. I think her trauma is deeper than she is willing to admit, for now. I’m just happy she is coming forward with some of her trauma and hope that it encourages her to continue to speak up and inspire others to do the same. 💙
Jonathan L I thought the same thing.
I agree!
I agree! When I was watching the doc I thought it was interesting but still felt like there was a lot more trauma or just more to her story than what she talked about
💯 was thinking the same
Honestly I think her 30 something year old ex boyfriend selling a private sex tape of her when she was still a teenager to porn companies most definitely counts as abuse. We all seem to forget this happened....or we at least do not acknowledge how traumatizing and wrong that whole situation was. Truly disgusting that happened and how it was laughed at as some kind of joke. It's kind of interesting that she hasn't opened up more about how that made her feel...especially in light of the "me too" movement. Makes me think she still hasn't unpacked all that trauma. She just keeps steam rolling forward, determined to make lemonade out of lemons. It's really quite inspiring in a way, but also probably not the best for her mental health in the long run if she's not stopping to process these things.
One of the things I thought I heard her say was that if she made a billion dollars her family could never have control over her the way they did when she was taken in the middle of the night - like if she had this money, they couldn't hurt her like that again.
Yeah exactly, i don't understand why people miss this. Her very rich family has alot of influence..combating this is become very very rich.
This! She stated she wanted to make her own money so they wouldn’t be able to have any control over her. She didn’t want to need them for anything. Essentially what you stated. I was wondering why no one else noticed her saying this. And the way her mother just kind of glosses over what Paris told her that happened to her? Very cold. Very cold woman or didn’t want to express anything in front of the camera, and I can see why Paris doesn’t trust anyone in a major way. Look at how her parents did her! It makes sense now.
I think this is an issue with a lot of people, me and my friends included. When you grow up with overly controlling parents and you're still dependent on their money (as kids and teenagers etc) to survive, the only way out is to earn enough money to never feel threatened by them again. And I can only imagine what it must be like for Paris, growing up in a super powerful family and always feeling so scared all the time that her family might do something crazy again
Exactly. Seems like she doesn't want to be tied to them. She has to be angry at her mother for sending her there. There has to be some resentment.
You're 100% right but I think he's not quite to that point yet in the documentary
Well, I'm not Paris Hilton, but I can tell you that finding a partner that doesn't feel emasculated for any sort of achievement is quite difficult...
Yup! I had a boyfriend who liked bragging with my achievements, but didn't like it when I would correct him or whatever. Like my achievements were only cool when they made him look good by extension.
@@DigitalDassie exactly! There are those and the ones that cannot simply see you grow 😒. And trust me, I have never corrected a partner... they will always find a way to let their insecurities to arise.
YUP
Gotta look at different options. I’ve dealt with this since I started dating. I’ve been blessed to experience “the finer things in life” thanks to my family and have independently made a great start to my career. I’m 22 and “men” my age are very insecure. I’ve had to stop dating and just work on myself so I attract the right men moving forward.
Omg if Paris just watched this analysis and gave a thought to getting a therapist... wish her the best.
She should go to Dr. Honda!
she said she can’t trust anyone especially if they're trying to get personal with her...
Think about it, she dealt with “therapists” in her “schools” that tormented her. She doesn’t trust therapists.
@@angeleyes3396 my husband was sent to that same "school" in Provo Utah and it's no school, more like a prison. He also has a high distrust of therapy bc of his time there.
@@mischaminxx I'm sorry that happened to him. I watched Dr. Grandes video on Paris and he seemed so dismissive of her fear of therapy. Its easy to understand why someone who has been subjected to forced hospitalization would be skeptical of therapy.
Just to put this greedy conversation in a bit of context: Paris' net worth is estimated in about USD240million. Nicky's is about 1 _b_illion (she is with married with one of the Rotschild's heirs). Regardless of the underlying reasons why Paris likes so much to earn money, it is a bit cheeky that her sister calls her greedy, considering the amount of wealth she has and how she got it. IMO, this detail brings all this dynamic to a completely different level. IMO, again.
No wonder her sister looks down on Paris, you can tell.
You have to be a monster to marry a rothschild.
Thank you. Exactly
Wow no wonder I was getting really bad vibes from her 😳
Nikki independent net worth is 50 million
I could relate to her saying she doesn't want a man following her around and that she would lose respect for him.. i don't think it was about finances, more the she wants someone who has his own life, own goals, and that is not depending on her all the time. Someone she also has to chase sometimes? That is not another "yes"-sayer around her?
Idk, it's fun to hear your thoughts on the documentation :) thanks for covering it!
I completely agree
She also claims she has a lot of responsibility--places to be and deadlines to meet. Having the type of man or woman like that is just someone else you have to think about and worry about and take care of. She might invest in her appearance and possessions but she needs to invest in herself.
That was exactly how I took what she was saying too. It would get old being around someone whose entire life was you.
That is exactly how I took it too, and would also feel the same if I was in her position
She needs to be with another multi-millionaire-billionaire business oriented rich person like herself. Not those whatstheirface guys she meets at clubs who most likely date her for clout.
I guess I'm late but I just noticed "Nikki Hilton Rothschild."
I would have just changed my name to "Ruler Of The Universe" or "Money Money Money."
😂😂😂
Same difference, right?
while watching the doc a few days ago I saw that and did a major double-take.
@@cluelessloving right? Like sis already came from major money and married into even more money. She didn't just secure the bag she secured her entire bloodline for...ever probably. 💰💰💰
Lmaoooooo
We also need to keep in mind that Paris was cut off her grandfather's will. Meaning, she can only depend on her financial strategies both now, well into her elderly years. To her, this is her total security. In regards to therapy, I don't blame her. So many things have been leaked from Law firms, Rehab centers and Mental health professionals offices, so she feels more unsafe as these things happen more often. There's leaks ans professionals that get star stricken as well.
I hope she finds peace, security and the help she needs.
100% agree.
Why was she cut off her grandfather's will??
Lucky camacho papaleo I have the same question
Lucky camacho papaleo From what I could find her grandfather found both Paris and Nicki’s behavior shameful (the sex tape, clubbing, dui) and cut not only them but a large chunk of the family out of the will. 97% of his estate was left to his foundation while the remaining 3% was to be split between “roughly two dozen family members.”
Not sure how true it is, but that’s what I read.
@@_Summer. , wow, that's harsh! Thank you for the update 😊👍🏾
I don't think paris is greedy. She shares and does so much for so many people. I think she is in perpetual survival mode.
I think that solely depends on your definition of greed.
THIS. 100%. She is focused on surviving and not being dependant on anyone. This is what drives her subconscious, whether she realises or not... I feel for her so much. She needs a true friend.
So true. Survival. Fight or flight
If she’s in survival mode, what does that make us?
I agree.
Making friends as an adult is so much more difficult than it was when I was in grade school or even my early twenties. What I find difficult about making friends as an adult is getting over that discomfort hump. When I befriend people one on one, of course we won’t be 100% comfortable with each other right away. It may take a long time to gain that comfort. And that period can be a huge deterrent. Often, we don’t make it through the gauntlet. In a big group of friends, that discomfort hump is much easier to climb because awkward moments pass quickly with the help of others. The other folks in the group also might know you both and facilitate the relationship.
true
this is absolutely true, it's rare the ocassion when you will meet someone and NOT have some awkwardness here and there. Let me not even get started on the energy depletion you get from maintaining new relationships....it's hard.
Jules haha oh gosh the energy depletion thing hits home!! How I long for those friendships where you can just be comfortable without even talking to each other.
Hoop Jeanne I’ll be your friend! I promise not to be awkward.
This would have been enough if we met as kids.
For me, I feel like it’s exactly the opposite. I feel like in a big group, it’s harder to make your presence known or that might be just me I feel like I’m competing with the other people in the group, whereas one on one interactions are much easier and more relaxed and it gives space to get to properly know each other.
Indeed this was interesting. Seems like Paris had her emotional development stalled when she was a teenager. Her parent's arranged to have her kidnapped in the dead of night and taken to a facility for "troubled teens". She also rightly from her experience, does not trust therapists. I think she is smart enough to work it out and this documentary is the true start of her healing.
I once heard a child star who sort of petered out as an adult say that it seems as if child stars remain emotionally and developmentally arrested at the age at which they became famous, and it makes sense. I’ve seen many examples of this, especially with sports stars and kid stars.
I think for the rich and elite, they have a different threshold on what is "enough". Like for regular people, a 100 million dollars seems like a crazy amount of money. But when you grow up around wealth, 100 million probably can't get you TOO far if you're only accustomed to buying houses that are no less than 60 million or whatever. If that makes sense.
exactly, us working class ppl we know the amount (exact amount) we might need to "be safe" and survive monthly, ppl like Paris they don't know because maintaining a wealthy life (properties, brand, all the employees, investments) requires insane amount of money. I guess what she meant was a billion dollars so everything can run on its own?
@Neith Here's another revelation: you must really get off on being unnecessarily mean online. Good luck with your health and happiness.
@@ll2058 ohh that's a good burn
@@ll2058 you're awesome! I thought your original comment was great
My mom behaves like a teenager, and she is in her 60's. Its was awful for me as a kid, and its still hard as an adult.
I think that's " called arrested development " ...
The worst is that our Parents are not comfortable with theraphy or counselling
My mom is also like that, she's more of a rebellious teenager to HER mom
Hi my mom is also just like a rebellious teen
My mom is like that to me..and its hard when you realise you act older than your parents 🤦♂️
Dude. Same.
The reason I don't want to be rich or famous is because I feel like it's the most isolating.
I really value my privacy too. I would never want to be famous. I could handle being rich though. I’d just try to keep it low key so I wouldn’t stick out as rich. I wouldn’t want ppl to know I’m rich.
You can be rich and not be isolated. The fame is the issue because you don't know who's truly there for you. Lots of rich and wealthy people are leading happy and healthy lives. Some of those people you won't know they're rich because it's not in your face like the famous.
Same. I dont want a bunch of people to know me, love me, hate me, use me, be in my business all the time, etc. It seems like a nightmare! Even with all the money... I'd much rather be "normal"
I've always said I'll take the money someone else csn have the fame. Sucks to have everyone thinking they know you when they don't have a clue.
Same
When Paris is talking about the “bitch boy” In my personal experience.... when your a female that is driven and following your dreams the significant male in your life tends to create havoc to make it almost impossible to move forward. They turn into moody, fit throwing brats.... or “bitch boys” Even when the gain is mutually beneficial I think it can be hard for the spotlight to be on a female being professionally successful or intelligent in that capacity. I felt that they feel competitive in a negative way and instead of being helpful may watch a movie really loud late the night before you have to preform professionally the next day, making it impossible to sleep. However when they are not feeling competitive for instance if I make a incredible dinner.... man happy and supportive . I start a new successful buisness.... man throws fits and acts like a child. I think this is a real issue that needs to be brought to light if women can feel safe performing professionally without abandoning their pursuits to have a relationship.
Yessss omg
Im loving this Paris Hilton series. Its important to show that celebrities are also human, with flaws, insecurities etc
Miss Manawaka Yep, you would be surprised to see how many people think that way :/
Miss Manawaka I was going to say the same thing. The most miserable people on this planet typically have the most money. At least they can afford to get their mental health in check unlike us peasants.
From one psychology professional to another, this is an excellent, emotionally deep, and empathetic take!
paris was literally tortured in an industry that exploits troubled teens. please don’t diminish her reality. i went through a torture program too in 1986 and have suffered from C-PTSD ever since and it’s triggering to see her reality distorted.
I find that Reaching out to my friends to make sure they’re OK helps me feel like I have a purpose in their life. Sometimes I want people to reach out to me but I realize to that reaching out to others to check on then helps me feel like I am being a good friend
This comment is so underrated!
We so often think "they should reach out to me" but have we reached out to our friends? Ask how their day has been? No wonder our society gets so lonely when we only want to be reached out to and not reach out ourselves. Balance is key.
I've literally never had 3 people in my life that I could say anything too. I live in such a rural area that there is no one here that I connect with on a true friendship level. I've tried for many years to find a true friend - I've been on plenty of friend dates trying to get to know people and it just never goes anywhere. I feel so bad for Paris that she has all these things and money and she still feels alone all the time. Can totally relate.
So sorry to hear that - I really hope you can find some people that meet those needs in future!
sometimes it's more lonely when you get people who try to get close to you who only want your money or your fame or to get closer to the people you know
Same here my ex married best female friend had an affair with my ex of 17 years. I do not trust anyone anymore. It is very difficult for me to make friends now. Her husband has passed away now it has been 2 years but I have not been able to make friends since I left my ex husband 4 years ago. They still see each other. But since then I have been traumatized because of it. I do not trust women now because of it.
It's a really lonely world out there.try not to think that's it's about you,like the doctor said people are lonely these days and disinterested in building relationships with people. I've made it my goal to never stop seeking to contemplate friendships. Everyone needs someone to ask them how they are. I wish you all the best! Greetings from Germany. ❤
Have you tried volunteering somewhere for a cause that is important to you? It would be a good way to connect with people who are like you
Love your idea that everybody needs 3 people they can call or rely on. I think that's an important aspect of not feeling alone. I have one, my sister. I lost a lot of friends while I was battling health issues, I was on dialysis at 24 years old and couldn't keep up with my "friends" anymore. they slowly disappeared.
Sad. I hope you can soon find others to connect with 💐
@@goosebump801 thank u!
Hope you're doing better now. ✨❤️ I lost a lot of friends over the last few years because of my awful mental health, and now I have no close friends. Just my sister, she's always there for me. 🤧
@@CV-yy9qz my sister donated her kidney to me, she is my hero, I had a kidney transplant so i'm no longer on dialysis and was given the gift of life 🧡 hope you're doing well too
Emerald Wildea While that is sad, you know now that they truly weren’t your friends. People come in and out of our lives - for a reason, a season or a lifetime. It is hurtful at the time I know. But it’s okay. The chaff falls away, leaving room for the real connections to appear and flourish. We grow as people and you want like-minded people around you to share experiences.
This documentary made me realize things about myself that I’ve repressed for years. I’m so excited to see the future episodes of you reacting to this!
Re: "you need an equal" I watched The World According to Paris which came out about 10 years ago. She's with a guy names Sy in that and while he seems to have some business of his own, still he essentially follows her to different trips she goes on, messes with her phone because he gets paranoid about who she might be talking to, and shows up unannounced on what he knows is a girls weekend. When Nicki says "equal", I don't think she means someone equally famous, but probably someone who has their own empire and so wouldn't have the time to follow her around the world. Also maybe getting married feels too grown up for her?
'Baby' voices can also be cultural. This is normal in certain countries in Asia, especially the one where I live. My voice is fairly commanding and authoritative when I speak English, mostly neutral in Spanish and Italian, but much softer in polite Chinese or Japanese. Unless someone threatens me (way more common then it should be), in which case I unleash old lady slipper terror tactics.
Old lady slipper terror tactics 🙌
You were losing me, then you mention "old lady slipper tactics". Like Sophia in Golden Girls?😆
Well in the English language, it's not really normal to be grown & talking in a baby voice. It can usually be due to some type of mental issues, or maybe they can be joking around-but in this case (& often more serious cases), I don’t think so.
Lowkey flexing with those language skills lol Props to you!!! Anyway, I agree. I feel like there is a difference in tone going from one language to another. Then again, there is also the question of whether that is because of the culture itself or the influence of the dynamic between those I am interacting with using that specific language and myself if that makes sense...
Food for thought I guess
crystal rose I am an adult woman with a naturally high and cartoonish voice. I’ve noticed that this infuriates other women that I’m trying to be cordial with. I have always spoken this way-it’s not the nasal valley girl affectation. I’m always hurt when I stumble across people mocking me. I suppose I just wanted to point out that some women do have naturally high voices. I find it peculiar when another person immediately judges me because of my unusual voice. I know you weren’t trying to say anything rude in your comment! It’s not such a big deal, I just couldn’t help but share my experience with this.
So glad you’re doing this series. She was very transparent with us and I love how she reveals that she has lost touch with her true identity. So inspiring. Also very interested in your in the works series of loneliness. I’m extremely lonely I don’t even have a best friend or anyone close to.
It's so hard making friends as an adult. And so many of us (including me) are lonely, yet we struggle finding another, opening up, building trust, etc. Sometimes I wish I could be a child again
Cestrum Nocturnum so true I’m only 20 and feel like I just survived an apocalypse and have no friends. My best friend died in a coma and I just haven’t found anyone authentic to open trust.
Volunteer or work at a restaurant or in healthcare with the elderly. They are very lonely too. Adopt a cat or dog. Join a sport.
@@Truth4peace4freedom workwise I'm on a random shift pattern with long hours, that makes it difficult volunteer regularly or join a team sport. Having a dog won't be fair to the animal, it would spend many hours alone at home. I'm at a gym, but it's all loose connections, no friendships as such
@@2029killtime I am sorry for your loss. I know how heartbreaking it feels when a friend dies. My best friend died when we were just 16 years old and I still miss her greatly. It is not easy to cope with the death of anyone. Grief comes in waves and can take a long time to deal with.
I am thinking of you and hoping one day soon you might have the opportunity to meet some new people and make some new friends. Never give up, there is always hope xxoo
RE: The “bitch boy”
The way I interpreted this comment was that she doesnt want someone who is going to be completely dependent in their relationship. She doesnt want someone who is going to follow her around and cater to her every need bevause theyr are so propelled into the relationship. She wants someone who is going to have their own career, own interests, own friends, and essentially have a fulfilling life outside of the relationship.
Man, I think you totally missed the mark with the "bitch boy" comment. She doesn't want someone following her around, literally, because he doesn't have anything to do or he's trying to win her attention by being obsequious. It sounds like she has chosen men who don't make as much money as her, and they tend to be a little too starstruck. Even if there was some reference to revenue in the "equal" comment, it sounds like she really just doesn't want someone following her around, and who would? No matter how much money you make.
Jasmine Houston-Burns completely agree
Agreed, I also took it as she doesn't want someone to be a leech, or dependant on her, she wants someone who has their own life/career and who can take care of themselves without following Paris all over the world watching her work while they do nothing.
Jasmine Houston-Burns agree, I can imagine how a lot of people could behave around a person with so much fame and money. For sure there will be someone genuine, I hope... but. This reminds me Rihanna and her ex bf, wealthy as her and far from being somebody who wants to be in the spotlight. It was a long story and I think it worked just because of that.
And if she has trust issue, the bitch boy is just another problem... She need a man already “made”, not a person who need her to became “someone”; “equal” is maybe not the right word but is understandable what the meaning is here.
I feel like he took the term “bitch boy” personally.
That scene at the festival?? Oh god, disgusting, what a little man was that?
She has massive trust issues! She hides cameras everywhere in her house, hotel, what have you invade they try to invade her privacy. She keeps laptops for each boyfriend and gets new ones after every breakup. She cannot trust anyone so how will sh ever get through a real relationship when she thinks every man is only interested in getting person & hurtful info about herself. It seems like a never ending cycle!
Jenny Agrippa I don’t know. I’d have to look it up and see maybe? I just saw from the documentary about the cameras.
i grew up having a loving family and caring close friends. Being clinically depressed, i can tell you that they saved me so many times.
I heard emasculated as her not wanting men who follow her around like a puppy dog, somewhat enamored by who she is, her money, the glamorous life, rather than someone who internally feels and behaves like an equal who has his own life and things to attend to. Anywho, that was a ton of my speculation. Just didn't hear it as emasculated due to money. But maybe that's what she means. Shrug.
My dog helped with both my loneliness and my trauma. Having him out in the world with me was life changing. My hyper-vigilance just vanished. When I would start reliving trauma in my mind he would bark and snap me out of it. A rescue Shepherd-Husky mix. I have had him for eight years and it has been so healing. People who can't have dogs can volunteer to walk shelter dogs.
When you were considering different reasons as to why she may act childish, you said: “when you act like you’re a younger person, then people have less expectations of you.” It reminded me of an episode of The Simple Life where she explained that the “trick” to get out of doing chores/responsibilities/jobs is to be bad at it, that way you dont get asked to do it again!
I don’t know if you’ll see this, but I hope you do! Your videos are very entertaining but more importantly they are so insightful and helpful. You have inspired me and many others to go to therapy ❤️
You can be proud of yourself for deciding to go to therapy! That's a big step and I hope that it will get you to a better point in life soon
I've never cared about Paris Hilton, I don't know why this analysis is so appealing to me
Haha same here, the only way to watch reality TV is with Dr Kirk!
I highly recommend checking out her youtube documentary. There's so much to her that we didn't know before. He's spot on when he says she has PTSD.
@@joshmiller8264 I *never* thought I'd be into watching reality TV but Dr. Honda is good at using these as kind of 'case studies" for things tons of other people go through. In this case, it's trauma. In 90 day fiancee it's toxic relationships. I've learned a *lot* about effective communication strategies from his 90 days series and also about why some of my relationships went SO wrong when I was younger.
@@turingmochi6282 I'm with you there, learned a lot about a failed relationship of mine from him, which has helped me hugely. Its awesome to hear you find his videos equally insightful! I also recommend the podcast
"Do you have 3 people you can tell anything to?"
Me: ummmmm I have two dogs? Do they count?
Pets should always count!
Honestly, I think yes, they do count ☺️
I think our pets count.
Hell no I don't.
They count
Watching these segments with Dr Honda inspired me to watch the This is Paris which in turn inspired me to watch the Simple Life and I've now watched nearly that whole saga for the first time since Kirk posted the first Paris Hilton vid-lol..
Wow, you’ve been busy 😱
Every video I watch tells me something about myself. And the modelling of sound conversation and behaviour helps me a lot.
I really enjoyed this documentary. I’m so glad you’re reacting to it!
Can we take a moment to appreciate the improvement in the quality of the videos. So happy to see you developing your channel!
She wants to make her own money to be separate from her family's finances, name etc...maybe it's the only thing she can control.
Exactly!!!
I loved this documentary and I love your channel Dr. Honda thank you for providing all your viewpoints for everyone free. We all appreciate your insight and wisdom so much. You’ve made me believe in therapy and I want to go honestly. I have so much I want to talk about and find out about myself
damn I wanna have a glass of red wine with you and talk about psychology 🥺
Count me in!
hi Dr. K. years ago i went to a therapist who helped me make a connection that, to this day, i still benefit from. and as i watched the Paris docu, i could hear his wise words from days past. he said, '...in the present, and as adults, we sometimes re-create the traumatic relationships of our past in the hopes of trying to finally heal them: sort of a last ditch effort to bring resolution & closure to wounds that have not only never healed, but that still very much sting...'. i'm not saying that this is what Paris is doing but man oh man i can totally relate to some of her pain and it has to make me wonder if maybe she is trying to, albeit unsuccessfully, heal her own past wounds in a similar way. just thought i'd share. anyway, gr8 videos Dr. K, keep up the good work....your book is gonna be legit!!
Thank you for sharing your insights with us! I’m a special education teacher and while most of my students solely have learning disabilities, I do occasionally have students who face intense emotional challenges as well. While I am not and never will be a mental health professional, watching your videos has helped me approach my students’ issues in a new and much more open way. Thank you again!
i kept checking your channel for this update ❤️❤️❤️
I feel like Nicky feels the need to act a bit like Paris's mother because their mom is not really there
I’m watching HOARDERS right now and I had to click off the video and onto this one to comment that I NEED YOU TO DO A REACTION TO HOARDERS!!! I just kept thinking “I wonder what Dr H would say about this.” Some of the people actually change a lot by the end with therapy and aftercare. I find this disorder particularly interesting. Who else watches Hoarders?
Coincidentally I just came from a video called AGING ALONE. She's British and researching loneliness in the older population. She already gave the many obvious reasons of loneliness and started a group of lonely elders who get together several times a day and week for meals and to talk. Seems like there is an awakening to a lot of emotional challenges and disorders this year
This is way better than "doctor" Grande's video!
I enjoy both channels ! But I think Dr Honda comes off as more warm and spontaneous (maybe from the 12 years of podcasting ?) than Dr Grande, who is more focussed on delivering textbook information (from the DSM for example). I get your point ✨although I haven't seen his video about Paris yet, I'm not surprised it's not as enjoyable.
I don't think it's fair to compare. These are 2 very different videos by 2 very different professionals. I think Dr. Grande's was helpful because he talked about her history, criminal charges, etc. It was a well rounded short video that served its purpose. Dr. Kirk is doing whole series from a different viewpoint. Both Drs are doing a great job in their own right IMO.
Dr. Grande doesn't come off as warm or empathetic to me. I don't remember what videos I watched, but he was being just as cruel, snarky and shady as the people in the comments. Did not subscribe lol.
Edit- I looked at Dr. Grande's video list and realized I watched some beauty community videos and that's all. I think that's important to note cause maybe he was picking up on the "bitchy," drama vibes the beauty community has going on for those videos... but I still can't imagine Dr. Honda watching the same videos and being as "mean" as he was.
Dr Grande doesn’t seem to have sympathy for victims. He also thinks Michael Jackson was innocent, so.
But they both agree that she is greedy manipulative. Just two different delivery.
30:46 I would have to say as another female that has had conversations about this with my mom, before I was married, that I think I know what they are trying to get at. If you have someone who is "not on your level" then there is a hard time having the ability to get close to that person. whether the "on your level" is money or maturity or intelligence, or what have you. There are people who might not be "on your level" in certain areas and you get along just fine, however, I have personally experience a few relationships that didn't go well because the opposite party did not personally feel equal and that created a wedge between us. That is not something that you can control, however, it does feel bad when you are the opposite party who doesn't think that way, but has to deal with the consequences of that reality. When you are not on the same "Level" as someone and that person is or becomes insecure about that then they are less likely to talk to you about things that would be good to talk about in a healthy relationship, they might be more likely to put you on a pedestal that you don't think you should be on because you are supposed to be equal in the relationship. As a spectator who has been in this predicament I think this is what they might be referring to when they are talking about that, someone who feels like they are her equal and be able to talk to her and treat her as such.
Your analysis is so on point and you bring so many good arguments and compassion. I am sure you are a great psychologist and a great teacher, and for that you have my deep respect and admiration. Keep going! 👍
Really enjoyed the this is Paris documentary, it gave me such an insight into her life and really enjoying your reaction videos to her. My second (love is blind is first) fav of your reaction videos, thanks Dr Kirk. Keep reacting to Paris please, I'm commenting so you keep diving in. ps I was surprised her documentary didnt mention all her singing!
I don't like the sister Nikki. She talks bad about Paris the whole way through.
Ah thank you thank you thank you for continuing with Paris’ story.
I’m totally here for this! Thank you so much!
Excellent analysis! Loved it!
Baby voice is innocence. An excuse to get away with things and make you look harmless and incompetent.
To me, it looks like she's using it to deflect attention away from her and look small
It’s also a defense mechanism used with abusers or people who stress you out/remind you of abusers. You don’t want to come across as aggressive towards an abuser, as it only makes them happy to have an excuse to amplify their behavior. So we learn to act little, cute, harmless.
I have a natural baby voice. I sound like I’m about 14 and I’m in my 40s. People think I am much younger than I am and because of the baby voice often don’t take me seriously. I could try to change it but it is very difficult.
I love Paris. She’s a class act. Always polite and respectful to others.
I attend the Hilton College. The family is well known and we honor every single one of them. I asked about Paris Hilton one day and if she would ever come to the college. They responded “none of the family likes her wild behavior” I’m like 🤨 SO she should be honored for her work in EVENTS. It’s really upsetting to see the College talk about a Hilton like that but it just goes to show how the family perceives or perceived her! !!! Crazy!!!
You are amazing!! I can’t believe I just found out your page exists!!
Well for starters her mom and dad did a fkd up job raising her, she’s been lonely since she was young!!
Sadly there are thousands of parents in the world who did not do well by their children (hence why there are so many children put into foster care).
Some people have no idea what a child needs and this means there are always problems later on. Some people should of never become parents.
I'd like doctor Honda to know that his videos make my days 🥰
Your video was displayed on my home page. I was interested in the title, so I started watching. I'm very impressed. I appreciate that you can say, "I think ... but I don't know for sure." I also believe that you have enormous knowledge and extensive experience. You have my subscription. I look forward to seeing more films. If I made a mistake somewhere, I'm sorry. I am Polish and it can happen to me.
love this series! i just watched the documentary and it goes over so many different topics and issues that people face
My MDD started 6 years ago when I moved to a very rural area right after graduating high school. My stepdad got a new job and they refused to leave me alone in California to go to college, so I had to come with them. It has been the loneliest time of my life. I’ve always moved around a lot, and I was always able to adapt and make friends but this was different. To this day I only have my best friend who lives states and away, and my boyfriend. But it’s still very lonely. I have found my jealousy and envy get the best of me because of this. Now I have graduated college and I’m looking to move back up north with my s/o, where the rest of my family and my best friend are. I know it’ll take some time before I stop feeling this way but I know that moving out of this place, moving out of my parents house, will help a lot with my mental health. I’m so looking forward to it. I hate knowing that loneliness is a worldwide problem, how can we connect more as human beings?
My social anxiety gets in the way every time I try to talk to people. Even on the internet. I send a message or am around someone and all I feel is pure anxiety.
IF ONLY medication and therapy help but meds give me bad side effects and I can't find a good therapist.
I think maybe its because of the unknown, the unknown response from the other person, unknown reactions, your unknown reaction from yourself, being accepted, i think it all comes down from ptsd
Yes!!! I was hoping you would do a video on this 🙌🏽🙌🏽
I enjoyed this video very much. With the length of this documentary I assume there will be many more. 🙂
I think so. Lol. This doc is app 1 hour and 45 minutes and I think he watched 3 minutes of doc footage. Lol. I do find his analysis interesting though. 🙂
Paris completely eliminated the parts where in addition to the revenge video there was video she took and kept of herself saying the N word and saying how she's disgusted by black people.
I totally forgot about that but you're right!
I heard about this but never heard about it again after that. Hmmmm...
Love your approach on loneliness. Can’t wait for you to talk about it on your podcast!
What an accurate analysis. You chose the more real parts of the documentary and also you focused on Paris through a consistent relationship, as the one she has with her sister! Great!
This was absolutely fascinating - thank you
Not sure why you don’t watch the whole video before analyse..? Rather give a long comment on one of her sentence, you can listen to her giving the reason at the end 🤷🏽♀️
I know right. He's going in blindly, assuming things, I would rather his professional opinion on facts, not assumptions based on one sentence
There are copyright laws on UA-cam, so he can’t just stream it all and then talk.
Copyright laws🤷♀️
I hope that you will be covering the source of much of her trauma - the troubled teen industry. Interested in hearing your insights on complete thoughts though; sometimes I feel like it can be easy to jump the gun while attempting to give feedback on content in this format. 🌻
Dr. Honda, thank you so much for your poignant request for us all to take care of each other. And thank you for all of the content you create - you are transmitting such a kind, abiding energy to the world that is so healing and so necessary. I really feel your heart in your work and it's transformative. Thank you!
i am loving this series Doc!
I think when she made the ‘b*tchboy’ statement, as crass as it was, she was not referring to someone who doesn’t match her celebrity value, I think she was referring to men being intimidated by her status, and thus allowing her to treat them in disrespectful ways.
Re: loneliness. We can sometimes be with friends, a partner, or family and feel lonely, and then other times be completely alone and not feel lonely ! This idea has helped me when I feel lonely. I'll stop and look for the connections I actually have. sometimes knowing that i COULD reach out to someone makes me feel less desperately lonely. I do think it's a pervasive problem and prioritizing making friends and reaching out to people instead of accumulating wealth or losing weight or whatever is a very valuable point.
I really enjoyed these reviews! Really appreciate your perspective.
Man, the comments are so nice;mindful. I love. It is so nice to see caring going on...and I think it’s a direct result of the very mindful, helpful content of this therapist. Super amazing. I watched the documentary and to be honest, it broke my heart a little. The error in judgement is assuming someone ‘with money’ wouldn’t have the basic sadnesses/issues/struggles or having money can somehow appropriately negotiate those issues-we should be able to assess, Nope. Instead, it is actually these type forums that is helping people by identifying and providing workable solutions-which, is so fantastic, I am filled with serious hope when I watch a terrific therapist give a series of helpful assessment of behaviors and SOLUTIONS people can sort of explore with a professional. Outstanding. Fair. Helpful. Thank You!
Ps. I am not accusing Paris of being exposed to a narc BUT *(and correct me if I am wrong), can the hyper focus on finances sometimes be a result growing up in a home with a family who has some narc traits, can set off a reaction like this? I mean-? Maybe it doesn’t matter but just that she feels security in building an ‘empire’ of sorts-I imagine it also satisfies that drive she has. *(not kidding, I wish I had a fraction of the drive some of these young beautiful people have. It is something else & I believe they are born with it-if anyone should be jealous, seems like they should be jealous of that intense drive. Ha ha. Seriously, in my opinion, it is incredibly positive)-
After spending thousands on therapy years ago, I get more out of your perspective than anyone I paid. I'm curious as to who trained you in graduate school, because that Professor out you so in check. Your the opposite reason as to why I stopped going. I left the session having felt I got nothing out of it. So whoever you really are, your a gifted and talented therapist who is a gift to the world and is much appreciated by yours truly.
I also really hate the "definition of insanity" quote. Sure, doing the same thing over and over expecting different results can be illogical at a certain point, but even that isn't necessarily illogical, certainly not insane. There are typically uncontrolled variables that affect outcomes, so it's also illogical to say that you would get the exact same results by doing the same thing too.
And it's said with such confidence as all the mindless idioms out there, but attempts to be deep 🤷🏻♀️
Well said, I always thought the same thing. Example going to the bar might not be the best place to meet someone but it doesnt mean you wont once in a while
It’s also a fake quote by Einstein lol he never said that
Wow this was such a good reaction. You have so much empathy and compassion. You can tell you really want to make a change in the world and help others. This was very comforting to see. God Bless you!
I’ve really enjoyed ur vids, ur voice is so calming!
This is so sad. She just needs some love and honest people in her life. I hope she finds some good friends and a loving relationship
31:00 I don't think that she meant that. I think she meant a person that has no life anymore and follows her everywhere, that basically lives her life with her because she is never in the same place and she won't stop working. Anyone who is not close to her "level" or her lifestyle, will have to do just that to be with her
Yeah exactly. I wish he watched the whole thing so he had the full picture.
That was very interesting.. thanks Dr. Honda
I really like your channel as a fellow psychologist. You have very good insight.
This guy is so good at what he is doing.
Actually, what she said.... "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results" did not come from some internet trend 15 years ago like you said. It is a quote from Albert Einstein.
OMG I just realise I did that too! At work, when dealing with a superior that seems very proud of himself/herself, the type of person that just cannot be wrong, I would automatically “soften” my choice of words to them in order for them not to feel threatened by me. So even though I know a lot about something, I will automatically act as if I don’t know much, letting them explaining things to me then meeting them half way to even the playing field. After that, I can feel their energy towards me change, I can feel they no longer think of me as a threat. I also notice that around those kind of people, I will tend to act all happy-go-lucky, all smiles, because now I realised that I unconsciously associate happy-go-lucky all smiles demeanor as what young people do and young people associates with having less experience hence can be considered as “not a threat”.
This documentary really changed my perception of her. She is very kind and smart.
I like her so much more now getting to know her more, she is just a human like all of us.