What Johnny Depp Can Teach Us About Male Domestic Violence Victims -- A Lawyer Explains
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- Опубліковано 15 тра 2024
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All comments for information only. Do not take anything as legal advice--if you have a legal issue, contact a lawyer directly so that you can received advice tailored to your situation. All views expressed are solely those of the creator.
Your point about the lack of shelters for male victims with children is spot on. In the early 80's in London, Ontario I found myself in exactly that situation. In desperation, I contacted a women's DV shelter for help - AND THEY TOOK ME AND MY TODDLER DAUGHTER IN. It was difficult for them, they were not set up to have a "man in the house", but were able to make a separate space for us in the living room. Everyone was very supportive and they helped me cope with a very difficult situation. A bright spot in a very dark time.
By the time I was halfway through your account of dv I found myself in tears. I'm so sorry you and your kids went through that. Thanks to those resourceful folks who found a way to help you out.
A friend recently decided that she'd taken her last beating from her rich husband. She sent him off to work, then called a shelter... and another... and another... They ALL told her that, as she wasn't low income, her and her children didn't 'qualify' for shelter. Funny. A part of the abuse was financial. She wasn't allowed to work and he checked all of her receipts when she bought groceries. HE had money. She had nothing.
The Facebook rumor mill saved the day and found a shelter to take them in. She got out with the kids right before he came home from work.
If one shelter won't help you - whatever your situation - call another. And another. And another. If worse comes to worse, go straight to the police, file charges, and ask THEM for help finding placement. They can call in other resources.
Finally, agreed on the issue for finding shelter for men with children. I've personally known men who've stayed in terribly abusive relationships because they had no way to take the kids and refused to leave the kids with the monster. Those are called great dads.
I'm waiting for "It's Alpaca Day" t-shirts with proceeds going to shelters for men with kids in these situations.
@@vociferonheraldofthewinter2284 - You make a key point - there is help out there if you ask - EVERYONE AND ANYONE. Don't give up, don't assume any particular group can't help, keep trying. Even if they can't help, they might know someone who can.
@@vociferonheraldofthewinter2284 the man rarely gets the kids. unless there is serious drug abuse or something.
As a female I am very happy to see this very important issue being addressed. DV can happen to either gender and should be treated with equal respect. Thank you Ian for covering this.
It actually happens more to men than women (dealing only with straight relationships obviously) 24% of all relationships have some dv, the vast majority is reciprocal in which women make up the overwhelming majority of initiaters, and the small remaining amounts of dv women are more often to be the sole aggressors, the difference has always been that men have a propensity to cause more physical damage than women.
@@Sumoniggro Not that I necessarily disagree with you, but can you cite your source for those stats?
@@tonyhawk123 it's from a research paper done by the national Institute of health looking at frequency of violence versus reported injury it is a bit older (2007) but I doubt numbers have changed so drastically, I can't link it because UA-cam likes to nuke links but if you Google reciprocal ipv you will find it. Women are more often sole perpetrators but men are more violent.
Yes and No - from what I've read it's a problem of disproportionate outcomes:
If a Women hits a man in an argument, generally it isn't going to do squat.
If the reverse happens....
And when we look at the extreme cases of DV (long term abuse or where someone has died) there's an over-representation of Men being the aggressors.
@@MajesticDemonLord My point is that a man can be a DV victim and when he comes forward he should be treated with the same respect we show women. It isn't fair that men who get abused get ridiculed, laughed at, made fun of or quite frankly not believed. Women can be just as bad as men. I know that for a fact because I am a Marine corps veteran.
That audio where she's mocking him and saying "Nobody's gonna believe you because you're a man" is absolutely damning
Every audio recording I’ve heard between Amber and Johnny, it’s always been Amber being the abusive repulsive one. She’s vile.
You would think so, but she finds a way to twist even the most damning audio to fit her narrative. It’s insane to witness. I can’t imagine what JD went through in that relationship. He probably thought he was going crazy by the end.
@@dewilew2137 “are you sure you heard what you heard?“ (head tilt) “are you sure you saw what you saw? (head tilt).
This is how cults are started. She'll be hypnotising the jury next…
Best thing she ever said. Came back to prove her wrong.
@@dawnferris9611 The jury agreed.
When JD describes holding AH's arms at her sides, and steering her to sit on the bed, I am horrified how many people suggested that that is the "mutual abuse", even after he talked about how she started hitting him while he was laying in bed. The suggestion that a man is not allowed to do literally anything to stop a woman from striking him is gross. When I disagree, they say it's because men are stronger. But, last I checked, they're also not bulletproof, and if I shoot a man beating me, no one will say we "mutually abused" each other.
I hate how people say that "they were in a toxic relationship" in a way it implies that JD was toxic. Like yeah, he called her names or slammed cabinets but only in reaction to her abuse. remove her, and his toxicity is gone as testified by many accounts in this trial. people reacting to BS is not a sign of being toxic themselves.
Me too, hearing 'mutual abuse' is like nails on a black board to me
Exactly!!!! Trying to restrain is Not abuse. Johnny always always tried to get away. My heart was bleeding hearing him beg ‘May I pls leave’. Patiently waiting till she would. Insane
And a really important point is that if the genders were reversed, we wouldn’t be saying it was mutually toxic. If a man was hitting and punching the woman, throwing things at her, and had even sent her to the hospital with a severed finger, we wouldn’t say she was an equal part of the toxic relationship for trying to grab his hands and push him away or for saying a very few mean things on a recording where the man otherwise dominated the conversation and hurled insults for several hours.
It's infuriating that people are trying to say that slamming cabinets, using curse words and hyperbolic texts to a third party make it mutual abuse. Even saying ugly things to someone isn't necessarily abusive. It's when it's done as a means of coercion over a period of time. We need to be very careful not to conflate being abusive and being mean or angry or unpleasant.
I was a martial arts instructor, my ex wife would abuse me, physically, through gaslighting, and many other ways. She preferred gut and groin strikes. And forehead slaps
When our arguments would get heated, I would leave the area, she would chase me down. There are still 4 broken doors in my house that she broke getting to me.
I tried to hang myself to escape (this was a decade ago, I am in a much better place mentally now.) She came in the house just seconds after I failed thanks to the knot I tied in the jacket sleeves failed. Her words then are burned into my mind: How pathetic, you are so weak, you couldn't even kill yourself.
She also said that no one would believe me that I was abused. Since I was not only a man, but a Martial arts professional. She also has used the court system to bar me from seeing my son most of the time, and has gotten the courts to bar me from ever teaching my son martial arts.
Thank you for this message. This Johnny Depp/Amber Heard trial has given me the confidence to talk more openly about it. It is because of the support around the trial, Thanks to people like you Runkle of the Bailey, that I feel better about speaking about it.
I had my own Amber Heard 30 years ago, with a very similar professional diagnosis that include Borderline Personality Disorder, Narcissism, Adult Child of Alcoholic, and Incest Survivor.
When we started having problems, I called the police to report being beaten. In exchange for this, the police arrested ME because back then, they automatically arrested men by default.
When I left and was waiting for a flight out of LAX, I was afraid that she was looking for me with a knife. I asked police what I could do. They said, "Just put your hands in your pockets and yell for help. Just do not try to defend yourself, because if she gets bruised we will have no choice but to arrest you."
It's a unique situation, because we're not allowed to defend ourselves, ever. And EVERY single cop and 911 operator I ever encountered called me a "pussy." When I tried to get a restraining order, they didn't do it like they do with women, and give it automatically without question. The person told me, "What kind of MAN gets a restraining order against the mother of his children?"
Big trouble came when I tried to take a "time out" and leave for one hour. She wouldn't let me leave and blocked the door. I eventually got past her. She decided to punish me by calling the police and telling them that I yelled at her. They wrote in the report, "Assailant verbally assaulted victim and fled." I was sentenced to 50 hours of community service and one year of Alternatives To Violence [ATV] counseling with the horrific Alyce LaViolette, the domestic violence "expert" who spoke in the Jodi Arias trial, where she asserted that the dead male victim was to blame, even though he was nude in the shower when he was brutally murdered by Jodi.
The overall default attitude was that men are ALWAYS the perpetrators, and women are ALWAYS the helpless victims who can't fend for themselves. There were 19 DV shelters in LA and only 1 would take men, and it was 50 miles away. Some shelters are so strict that they don't allow women who have male children over the age of 13.
My hope is that Johnny wins, and that this represents a shift in attitude with the realization that men can also be brutalized in relationships.
My brother broke up with the abusive mother of his two kids and when he left, she called the police and said he beat her and the kids up. He provided evidence that he couldn’t have, and even though the charges had to be dropped, his life has been obliterated. No consequences whatsoever for her.
That's one thing that gets under my skin. The person making the complaint should not just be believed. Cops need to stop using such profiling of individuals. Complainants who have made false allegations should be charged!
@@heatherjones9773 I totally understand how they have to take that stuff seriously, when an allegation is made, and the person is actually getting abused, the ability for the authorities to be swift to stop it is great. But once it’s proven that they manipulated and weaponized the legal system there should absolutely be some severe consequences, if only as a deterrent.
Exactly. There is no consequence for a woman making false allegations, even when proven. A society where a verbal allegation alone is enough to wreck someone’s life is not an advanced one. The empowerment of women movement (feminism) needs to be replaced with a modern more balanced “treat everyone equally” movement. But when the movement has engineered this level of empowerment, why would they want to give it up.
Parental alienation. 😪
@@heatherjones9773 exactly right!
I went into this trial feeling sorry for Amber and also some disgust that she was facing it being televised. I came away not believing a word she said, seeing all expert witness and people’s accounts showing her as the aggressor. And all evidence showing her as manipulative and serial lying. Thanks goodness it was televised! Else I would probably have come away still assuming it was Johnny as the aggressor regardless of the outcome of the trial. Shame on me and shame on society for putting Johnny through this. Thanks for a very well considered take on this delicate topic.
Thank you for having an open enough mind that you could be persuaded by the evidence.
Some people still can't manage that.
Is this the legend skater tony hawk? 😍
@@kayrelzin5606 He could half pipe Amber. That would be Evel Knievel level shit
So true and shows how fair the media outlets on their news reporting.
I feel the same way , I just assumed the same thing. And now I realize how wrong I was , just hope Amber is found guilty. She did so much damage to a lot of people, a specially Johnny
The scariest part of domestic abuse is many of the abusers are charismatic, attractive and smart. They can fool the best of us initially.
I have known at least two women I was close to, who turned out to be narcissists. The first, a neighbour, is most likely a malignant narcissist, was somewhat charismatic in how she deceived many of us. The second, a romantic interest, is most likely a vulnerable narcissist (used to be called covert narcissist). She was definitely charismatic, attractive, and smart, and this kind of narcissism is very hard to detect, but once you do, a lot of understanding falls into place. Those of us who have tangled with narcissists do not call ourselves victims, we call ourselves 'targets'.
@@EricKolotyluk I wish more people had your perceptiveness. Thanks for sharing. I sometimes think narcissists are more ruthless than dictators.
They can fool everyone around them. So, they are very dangerous. Sometimes when you finally get away from them, it is like divorcing a crowd.
So so true! And what a vicious trap it is..
This is how dictatorships and cults are started. She is practically trying to hypnotise the jury with her eyes, like the snake from Jungle Book.
A friend of my sister was constantly being physically attacked by his unstable wife. Constantly. The police were called multiple times. The last time she attacked him, he put his hands up to protect his face mid-beating and made contact with her. He was charged with assault, lost his house, lost his savings, lost his business (he ran it out of his house)... lost everything, despite the record of police calls. Now he gets to pay her support. The system is f-ed.
That’s so sad
that's so evil.... horrible
That poor poor man. And many others like him. I (woman) have seen many cases of men being abused. The insane uphill fight has always been public perception and the misuse of that
She will pay in the end.
All is not lost. Its not always in our time, but it will happen. She will reap what she has sown, karma never gets it wrong.
Fathers also "tolerate" abuse because they fear they will not receive fair treatment in divorce court re: custody of their children, or will be able to protect their children from an abusive mother. Revenge accusations of abuse are common.
Thank god JD didn't have kids with that crazy woman.
More common now than ever WindyCityLiz
Also the obvious follow up of “but what did you do to make her react to you in that way?”
It's very common for women with borderline personality disorder to accuse their male victims of being the abuser, using the legal system as a weapon. It's something that's particular to borderline women. The legal system needs to be aware of this. And if course it goes without saying that narcissist women (who are often misdiagnosed as borderline) will also use this tactic.
@@cosmicmuffin322 What is your source on this claim? It is important not to feed a stigma that is already out of control.
My daughter years ago had a male co-worker who was in a relationship, (not a marriage). His live-in girlfriend would not allow him to pay for needed health care and needed work clothes. My daughter had fallen in love with him. I spoke with her about allowing him to move in with us with "conditions". He had no other way out of that bad relationship. My daughter spoke with him about his option. I told my daughter it was going to be tough on him to make the change if he does. I told her he would do it when the "time is right for him". I also helped him pay off a car loan that belonged to his ex that his name was on. He got a Clean break. My daughter and he did marry. They now over the past 9 yrs have 2 children together.
You're a very very good and kind person. And so is your daughter, you clearly raised her well.
@@adenkyramud5005, I myself had been in a very abusive relationship with a marriage. I understood what he was going through. Mine got so bad after divorce, the local S.W.A.T. had to take action to rescue my daughter and myself.
That's so wholesome.
@@caroleshay9153 and that's horrible..
This is so sweet. You helped to change that man’s life. ♥️
It makes me cry every time I hear JD say, "yes, I am."
It breaks my heart. There is shame and pain in those 3 words that touch me deeply.
I agree with what you said. He sounds beaten down emotionally.
I would just like to point out that domestic abuse does not always require physical altercations to be considered abuse. As a man, I lived through an abusive relationship for years and stayed for my daughter. She never struck me (nor I her) but it was a living nightmare of constant verbal and psychological abuse, gaslighting, and every other tactic you could think of to belittle and destroy a person. That included using the courts as a weapon against me, false accusations, etc.
There are far more men that go through this type of thing and have their lives destroyed as a result of it than people realize. If I can offer a single point of advice to any man (or woman for that matter) who is going through the same thing, it is this: Don't stay for the kids. It is not worth it. Not only will it damage you psychologically, but your children too.
Thank you. This needs to be said really Loud!
Chell if Amber loses this case you have every right to file an appeal on a case you had about DV.
My father stayed in a relationship he had with my mother while being unhappy for 5 years. My mom became neglectful, so brother filled in until my dad stepped in. My dad got a girlfriend years later. My dad decided for a divorce, and my mother was trying to manipulate her autistic son(16y at the time). I never expected my own mother to lie, gaslight and manipulate me. The divorce never went through, because my dad got a heart attack. 7 or 8 years later, my mom died to cancer. Never in my life did I have such mixed feelings, but I am glad for the chains to be broken.
It's basically free of consequence in any case, no wonder it's so common for a woman to take advantage.
The exact reverse of why many actors started taking pictures with female fans always showing their hands. If the hand is behind someone's back, you're already liable. On the other side a false accuse simply gets forgotten.
Yes, the myth of staying for the kids does not work. The kids still endure psychological damages.
This was an excellent analysis.
As a survivor of DV lasting ten years, it's incredible how many of the points you made resonated with me, although I'm a woman.
JD's case is SO important to help bring fair trials for male victims. 😭😭😭😭
My father was a victim to my mother’s verbal harassment and abuse for years and now that I’m older he’s told me he was so complacent because he never wanted to lose custody of us kids through the legal system. I believe him. It’s sad
The point about whisper campaign hit me hard. More than a decade ago, when I broke up with my then long-term girlfriend on somewhat bad terms, I later found out that she started telling our friends that I regularly beat her (which wasn't true); and most of them believed it. It kind of spread in our circles and I ended up distancing myself from almost all of them since I was seen as some kind of wifebeater. There were only a few that didn't just believe what they were told and recognized that it's just the result of a breakup, but the consequences were pretty dire. I ended up moving away from the area and had to rebuild my social circles somewhere else.
Its just an incredibly shitty thing to do, and I don't even want to know how often stuff like this happens. At least in my case, I wasn't abused during the relationship; people like Amber Heard, who abuse first, then ruin the victims reputation, are absolutely disgusting.
That’s called covert narcissism. She sought to slander you, ruin your reputation, socially isolate you and destroy your reputation as punishment. That’s how they operate. Covert narcissists are worse than overt narcissists because by the time you work out what’s happened, the damage is already done. She might even have been priming these people while you were together, making indirect remarks about you, that they later linked the reports of you having hit her to. She sounds like an expert… Sorry this happened to you. The upside is you didn’t have kids with her.
That's so sad. I've been in a situation where bad rumours spread about me & people I helped out & called friends started acting distant & icy. It hurt but I saw the silver lining immediately. It helped me filter out those I could trust, those who could assess the terrible rumour and weigh it against my actions and character. It's great to pick friends who are both smart & have your back.
she destroyed his career and there's been no real punishment
I have deep respect for Mr. Depp for bringing this to the court, and also for trying so hard to avoid bringing this to trial.
Wise words.
My ex was as big as myself, she threw horses and haybales around daily. In a straight out fight, her street life was also great training in beating others up. She also had enough past assault charges to be a factor.
When I went to the local RCMP office to complain about her violent nature, he looked at me and said that I am a big guy and that I should be able to take care of it myself without involving the RCMP.
Needless to say, she and her family are now out of my life and I feel just a hint safer. I hope to never meet her in a dark alley, as only one would walk out and the other carried out. I would expect I would be the one carried out ...
Glad to hear that you're doing better!
So either you stand there or take it or "Take care of yourself" so the RMCP can arrest you?
Those are some fine options.
RCMP is not interested in doing their job, they are having too much fun breaking the law themselves. Actually going after real criminals? they could get hurt doing that. Innocent defenseless civilians that could never fight back either physically or legally are what they like to go after instead
@@saxonman I've seen some of the RMCP takedowns of "peaceful protesters" that were actually peaceful protesters not burning things, looting or assaulting people.
The way they protected the Canadian citizenry from this dire threat while sloshing Trudeau's money shot around in their mouths, to get the full flavor, was truly inspiring.
RCMP suck.
Thanks for covering this. Both men and women can suffer from domestic abuse.
Ian, by letting us hear J Depp say, “Yes. I am.” To AH prompting him about her abusing him. I heard that in trial and became physically ill. Yes, that poor man has been abused by this woman. I’m 77 and I have seen this before. Dear Lord I hope the “Me also” happens for men.
Thank you, @Runkle Of The Bailey!
Much love.
What are men waiting for? They can start their own movements, shelters, etc. just like women did. Are they waiting for our permission?? Or do they just not actually care about these issues as much as they want us to believe? They love to complain about this, but they never do anything! No one handed women our rights, we TOOK THEM, and we are still fighting for them to this day.
@@dewilew2137 w a t
@@dewilew2137 You complain online and it's fighting, guys do it and they are just complaining and don't really care. There have been some great women who worked very hard to get to where we are, and a lot of that was complaining about the issues so everyone could see and potentially fix it. You just asserting that men don't do anything doesn't prove your point. A lot of "fighting" for rights is complaining about it, you can't define the same thing differently for men. If you really want equality, it shouldn't be complaining that men supposedly don't care, you should be fighting for that as well.
@@dewilew2137 Your a mean person.
@@dewilew2137I hate to burst your feminist bubble but I sit here, as a woman, scratching my head at your belligerent comment. You say women "took" their own rights? No. Guess who granted women our equal rights? men did. If they didnt want to grant us equal rights, they didnt have to. They are bigger & stronger than us & can easily control us in a very physical way. Plus men control our food supply as well. Look at saudi arabia & other middle eastern islamic countries for a good example. Also, men "dont do anything"? Last time I checked, men actually keep our civilized society running, in a very physical way. They do the dirty, dangerous jobs that MOST women wouldnt ever want to do. They build our skyscrapers from the ground up that we so enjoy living in. They service the underground sewer systems that we use every day. They drill the petroleum/oil that you put in your car every day. They drill the wells that you drink out of every day. these kinds of laborious & dangerous jobs are vastly male dominant roles. Not because women dont have the "right" to do them, but because we are built differently than men & most women dont want those jobs. That is a fact. Look to scandinavia for more proof of that. I am perturbed by your gross comment regarding such a topic. You sound very entitled, & naive at best.
I know a number of men that have been victims of DV. They have told me that the police dismiss their claims and/or tell them to man up but will quickly arrest them if they actually defended themselves. What does even mean, when the man is a victim of violence from a woman? I really do hope that this trial shines light that men can be victims too.
Amber wanted all the glory of the me too movement but she actually shined a light on the fact that men can be victims. I believe that's a good thing.
1 hit, 1 hit is all it takes and it goes on your record. and the next time when she has stabbed you but she has no injurie they will just assume she was scared and was protecting herself.
Let's be honest, one of the reasons behind the sheer intensity and number of billable hours in this trial was to put a big enough microscope on the litigants' lives so that it ended up forcing the matter into the court of public opinion.
Both Amber and Johnny have extremely serious personal issues, but Amber appears not to have anticipated that in the race to make each other look like assholes, she'd end up getting caught in a number of possible lies and end up proving the bigger asshole by a country mile. At this stage the public is generally sympathetic to Johnny, regardless of any future jury ruling. It's clear she took a far more aggressive role than she let on, and she not only tried to deceive her community but also the police, her legal team, and the jury. I'd bet on it backfiring on her in the end.
Anywho, equal rights means equal responsibility. I support Runkle's take on the matter -- we need to approach each case on its merits, and not devalue people in other cases based on bad faith behaviour in this one. There might be a statistical similarity for certain types of DV cases, but that doesn't mean they all follow the same traits and patterns. Stereotypes are dangerous.
Also, longtime Depp fan here. Watching any part of this case sucks and is difficult to watch, both because it's DV and because it's watching a really awesome actor spill the beans on his absolute dumpster fire of a home life. Calling it tragic and sad doesn't do it justice. I hope he finds peace someday.
Great, empathetic comment!
In my own experience, it's not a question of reporting. A lot of men report it the cops just refuse to act on it. Not only have I had that exact experience but male friends of mine that have suffered the same abuse.
It's very disturbing to see Amber Heards actions and it's even more disturbing to hear her tell him,that no one would believe him.
There is one in my city that openly prioritises male victims. I'm humbled to know the exceptional woman that runs it - she is a nun, a psychologist, and a lawyer.
I was happy to see Dr. Curry's explanation of personality disorders, because it was an educational moment for the millions of viewers worldwide. If we are to understand and address interpersonal violence, we must also have an understanding of Cluster B Personality Disorders.
When I was in my early 20's, my ex had a friend he met through work. Very good looking guy, young executive, great job, great pay, sports car. He met a woman with a young child and we started hanging out as couples. I found them an unusual couple because of education, work background and demeanor, but they seemed really into each other and they moved in together. One Saturday night my boyfriend and I were having a quiet night at home when his friend called him in tears. He and his girlfriend had gone out to dinner and dancing and they had a disagreement. He had stayed at the bar drinking, and she said she was getting a cab home. He called us to see if we would come pick him up because he wasn't going to drive. We said sure and you can stay in our spare room. We drove downtown to get him and as we were coming back, we happened to pass the high rise office building where my boyfriend and he both worked. The woman had stolen his keys, and his car, driven it up on to the large plaza - like sidewalk in front of the office building and parked it immediately in front of the doors. Clearly in an attempt to not only get him in trouble with the police, but potentially in trouble with his employer as well. He had no way to move it and was in no condition to drive anyway, so we had to leave it there.
We got home and when we got inside, I could see a large bruise on the side of his face and a scratch on his neck. As a woman, my first worry was he had hurt her and she had fought back, but boy was I wrong! We decided that it was too dangerous to leave his car where it was so we drove to their place. She wasn't there. Went back downtown and eventually found her at another bar, drunk and telling people he was an *sshole and basically had him attacked when my boyfriend and he walked in. So my boyfriend got him out of there and we went back to our place. Our friend is distraught, crying uncontrollably, My boyfriend finally gets him settled down in our guest room. He admits to us that she has been hitting him for months. Punching him, clawing him, kicking him. We have already agreed he can stay with us as long as he needs. Our mistake that night? Now she knew he was with us.
We get him to sleep, we finally get in bed ourselves (it's now about 3am) and she is at the door, screaming and pounding on it. Waking the neighbors, threatening him. My boyfriend hands me the cordless phone and says "Don't leave this room." And he will tell me to call the cops if needed. He goes to the door and tells her to leave. She is belligerent, still screaming for him to come out and stop being a p*ssy. All the noise wakes our friend and he goes to the door as well. He just wants her to give him his car keys. I'm standing in our bedroom door watching all this from down the hall. She wants to come in and my boyfriend won't let her. But our friend insists on going outside to try to quiet her down and get his keys. He is still drunk and crying again. Now they are in the street, and my boyfriend is trying to keep them apart. She is screaming at him, lunging at him. I move to the front porch, terrified and clutching the phone. My boyfriend is yelling at me to stay inside. When he turns to talk to me, she runs past him, and grabs our friend with both hands around his throat and starts throttling him. He drops to his knees, unable to breathe and my partner is trying to pull her off. All of a sudden, two guys who are walking see them and think this is two men beating up a woman and act accordingly. My boyfriend now is trying to reason with them saying this isn't what you think it is and yells to me to call the cops. Since my partner is now focused on disarming the threat from these two guys she starts wailing on our friend. Kicking him, punching him. I'll never forget it. He just stayed there on his knees with his arms around his head, sobbing. The cops show up, and put my boyfriend, and our friend in handcuffs. I'm still on the porch, and I must have shouted "No" when they put cuffs on my boyfriend and started down the porch stairs, because he told me to stop and go back inside. He said everything would be ok. The cops start taking statements, they see that she doesn't have a mark on her, and that he is messed up. Eventually they figure it out, arrest her and take the cuffs off my partner and our friend. We get him back inside and back into bed. Again reassuring him that he can stay as long as he needs to and we will help him.
The next morning we find out that she threw his car keys into the woods near our place, and she showed up crying begging for forgiveness. My partner tried to talk sense to him, saying this won't stop, she will keep doing this, but our friend won't leave her because he doesn't want to leave her daughter unprotected, and with no money coming in. They started to distance themselves from us, (or us from them), and the last I knew they got married and moved to his home state.
That is such a tragic story, and sadly happens far too often. I hope your friend is okay.
Oh well, he asks for it. He did lose his job today in your town. I feel sorry for you and your partner to go thru this mess they created and enjoyed.
That's a heart-breaking story. It is so difficult when children are involved.
@@jlseagull2.060 "he asks for it" - are you a troll, or really believe that victim-blaming nonsense?
@@jlseagull2.060 he asks for it???? That’s just like saying a woman deserves to be raped because of what she is wearing!!!
I wasn't allowed to leave my relationship. Whenever I tried I would be arrested or she would convince my doctor I was suicidal and have me placed in a psych ward.
After she held me down so her teen daughter could strangle me for trying to end the relationship; she filed child abuse charges against me so she could access a shelter and free legal services to try and use against me.
It was reassuring to have the police laugh at me when I told them I was victim of abuse and needed help that night.
I called police for help multiple times only to be ignored or brushed off; but she was able to have me swatted by police at the drop of a hat based of lies and nothing was even said to her.
I was even told once it was my fault because I was a man and she was proactively defending herself from perceived future abuse.
And people would wonder why I'm done with the world.
Very glad you're covering this aspect of the case. I have a close male friend who was physically abused by a woman and another who was clearly at risk of a dv frame job from an AH type. We need much more awareness about this if men are to have a fair shot in relationships.
Thank you for addressing the issue of male victims and female perpetrators. DV can and does happen to men as well as women, and the stigma we face is powerful and overwhelming, especially when we do finally reach out for help and the response is "take it like a man" from law enforcement and society at large.
I'm so glad to see people starting to question everything. It does not matter what sex you identify as or are born that way, anyone can be a victim. But we also need to fight to get out of the victim label. That is the only way to heal. Stay strong everyone and much love!
@@Nick_las_seafarer Question EVERYTHING!
I think the message is that ptsd , shame , trauma and childhood grief can be healed therefore recovery possible . I see to many discussing these issues as if they are who they are .My story would be recovery from any trauma is possible but in my case lengthy .
Years ago I was visiting my old outpatient treatment center/group and one of the young men was telling a story about his gf punching him. Everyone started laughing till I spoke up and said it wasn’t funny. I was so bothered how everyone just laughed it off, when you know if it was a woman, they would be upset. Abuse is abuse, whether it’s done by a woman or a man. There needs to be more help out there for men.
Years ago, the woman next door told me that her husband had hit her the day before. I was astonished and angry. When I saw her husband, I gave him a piece of my mind. His response was, "Did she tell you she hit my head with a full can of corn first? Of course I reacted by striking out." Really opened my eyes to husband abuse.
You are spot-on about "using the legal system itself as a weapon". For additional support of this perspective, I recommend reading "Legalizing Misandry" by Dr. Katherine Young and Dr. Paul Nathanson.
My dad was abused by his ex-wife. I heard stories from my late grandma, my dad's friends and, to be honest, when my stepsiblings used to visit us and tell of how life's at home, the stories they tell allude to her being abusive or neglectful towards them too, even though they don't seem to notice or question some of them.
My dad's ex-wife, like Amber, played the victim, even after their divorce (which took years because she didn't want to let him go. They divorced 30 years ago so my dad's ex really played on the female victim card. He wanted custody of his children but didn't want them to go through the stress so when my aunts and my grandma assured him that it's best for the children, he reluctantly relented. Once after the divorce, she even made all of her children (then, all of them were younger than 10) walk with her all the way to my dad's office, wailing on the streets along the way.
During their marriage, she forbade my dad from going out with his friends or even volunteering which he used to do, and returned to after marrying my mom. Whenever they go travel, she spent all his money on gifts for her friends and family and forbid him from buying anything even for his own parents. My dad had to pay for everything in their house because she kept her money for her own pleasure, and my dad had to support her parents including their house. She would tell my dad off in public over the stupidest thing, like throwing a tantrum when someone thought she was my dad's elder sister.
When my dad passed away, we found his diary and =he was just confused and guilty. Like he felt like he had done something wrong and wasn't sure how to fix it. She constantly neglected her kids and we found diary entries of my dad feeling helpless because the kids woke up at night, wanting their mother but their mother would ignore them, and my dad couldn't console them.
I've never heard her being physically violent (with my dad). It could just be my dad not telling anyone or writing about it in his diary (he wrote about how he felt rather than the actual events) but I suspect that can be a huge reason why my dad stayed for so long. If his ex was actually violent, then he may consider it as an abuse. Instead, he just saw the fault on his end. Especially when he married her because she got dumped by her boyfriend and was suicidal. So he essentially married her to help her.
Again, they got married like 40 years ago so mental illness and all that isn't as well known as it is now so he thought she simply need someone to care for her. So in his head, it's him not doing what he's supposed to do and make her better. All the while, she was controlling him, from his work, his life, his family and finances.
To be honest, back in 2019 when I first saw some of the videos and recording of Amber Heard and Johnny Depp, I had hairs standing on the back of my neck. Having just taken a short linguistic course which included topics on social dynamic, the language on Amber's part shows so many signs of dominance and manipulation for someone who claims to be a victim. And it just felt so familiar and close to home.
I'm glad that at the very least this trial is opening up people's eyes on male victims of domestic abuse, both for the society at large and for the victims themselves to let them know that it isn't their fault.
I explained to my wife on one occasion that the stereotype of domestic violence meant her cousin's wife could hit him with whatever she'd like, and if she falls down and bruises her arm while hitting him, he goes to jail. It means he can only afford to hit her once, and it has to be lethal.
I can’t believe how she just shamed him, shamed him into silence. Well she was wrong! Everyone is on his side because THE TRUTH is on his side. No matter what happens in the trial. He’s won his life back by being brave and stepping up and telling the world his story!
Thank you for sharing this, Ian! I am a nurse, and I’ve met several men who are or have been victims of horrific violence at the hands of their wives or female significant others. It’s more prevalent than anyone thinks.
Thank you very much for addressing this issue from this angle publicly and blatantly.
I have even more respect for you after this video. Thank you for speaking out that it’s not just women. This trial has brought up a lot of memories for me. Thanks for your diligence Sir. And to ANYONE that has suffered DV, my heart hurts for you.
The current trial goes beyond these two individuals. It shows what immense pain humans can experience and inflict on each other because of past, unresolved trauma. The lack of awareness of our actions and consequences. Men and women can act in a vile manner equally due to ill motivation. It's heartbreaking to see how the mainstream media perpetuates stereotypes and belittles our intelligence when we fail to acknowledge their point of view. Meantime the suffering continues and each new case becomes another cause for frustration... I do sincerely hope for a just outcome which will send a message to the world for a mindset helpful to well-being, individually and collectively.
Having said all that I pray JD wins :)
It broke me when he said he was a victim of dv on the stand. Mine happened 10years ago and I am still far from ok. I am a solid built 100kg guy that most guys avoid on the street. Yet a 60kg woman beat me and made me believe I was nothing but a piece of shit over and over again.
My ex husband managed to twist the narrative of our relationship to the extent that I was prosecuted and jailed for DV. Regardless of which partner is the victim, the truth needs to be brought into the light and twisted narratives beed to be revealed and this case is so groundbreaking and refreshing to me for the way this is being exposed. l hope this makes sense?
I approve this message as a woman.
Excellent. About time the public wakes up to this issue.
A woman who gives a false accusation should go to jail min 5 years
You're doing a great job! Keep it up! I'm so happy to see male victims of DV being acknowledged... i just feel so so sorry for the countless men who have had to endure it and not be believed...
Eagerly awaiting, from New Zealand xx
How utterly brave of him to bring this, admit this to the world. To let the world hear how she mocked him, abused him. I applaud him. His vulnerability is palpable.
The Duluth Model needs to be abolished.
Justice for JD. I hope JD win, that will encourage a lot of men to come forward and fight for what is right.
I think this is a very important point to come from this trial. I've been saying for years that men aren't being fairly treated by society, and more needs to be done to help them too. Fact is there are abusive people in all genders and sexualities too, a friend of mine was abused by her girlfriend. Their are some.nasty toxic people in the world and there are people who unfortunately fall victim to some of those. But we need to take notice of all violence and better help those that need our help.
I had never thought of the lack of shelts for fathers and their children.
3 simple but powerful words; "Yes, I am."
I felt like I got my voice watching that trial! Men and women victims that lies destroyed knew just what Johnny felt.
As a victim of DV I am really glad to see you discussing this. When I ran from my abuser and was in refuge, I made a friend who was abused by her female partner. A lot of people didn't believe her - including her family. As a lesbian she had to overcome homophobia and there was incredulity that a female partner could have been violent to her. I felt for her, so much, because although I had a lot to overcome at the time, my own family and the charity workers believed me at least. AH reminds me of my abusive ex, he accusd me of being the abuser and a lot of people believed him. I couldn't watch all her testimony. Many of the same words and tactics were used. I really wondered where her 'ptsd' went when her lawyers were shouty-short because that triggered the hell out of me - had to turn off.
As a mother of boys who's been in shelters, including Domestic violence shelters, they often won't accept boys over the age of 11 or 13. This is a real problem.
So many audio recordings, and she never mentions his abuse, and never sheds one tear about it. The reason she can't cry on the stand is because there's nothing to remember.
Just wanted to add that in my last relationship, I was a victim of intimate partner psychological abuse. I had a hard time convincing HR at work and kept getting the blame for her behaviour, with the CEO even laughing at me for saying that she was aggressive towards me. Evntually we broke up and it took a few years before we could really civil to each other. Worst part, she never accepted any blame and thought things were okay with me.
There’s no reason for her to be in your life at all.
@@lukeskywalker2116 not anymore, but for years afterwards we worked same shift. It was easier to be civil than listen to her rants
Please move home and job to another area if that's what it takes to be safe.
@@flowerjpotter1629 well, the job is gone now. And moving was not a solution I could do
Thank you for caring enough to comment.
I am an FNE (forensic nurse examiner) with many years of experience. I have seen so many male victims and almost all of them refuse to report it, refuse to even let me examine them on some occasions. I have had the very unpopular opinion for many years that we just cannot blindly believe what we are told just because a woman said it. I have lived through the time where a female victim was not believed because of how they dressed or "acted." Now we have moved to the opposite extreme. Just because a female claims it, doesn't mean it's true. Too many times now, females make claims, the male goes to jail and when you really look at the case you see he has been abused over and over.
It is time for us to stop rushing to judgement, step back, evaluate with an open mind what is being presented and then make a decision. It has to stop
In this case I have always had in mind the 4 officers that were called to the penthouse, I have always thought that there was something wrong, why has this slipped through the net! 6 years is a long time considering that there was even a video from the police.
I found it absolutely disgusting when AH called JD a pussy and she also called him a coward.....I do not agree with her at all .
I can't imagine the personal restraint it would of taken for JD to not physically lash out at her....for years .
That is by no means a coward. ....completely the opposite.
Excellent piece on male victims. Great job, Ian.
I give this video an A+
This is so important. I have seen domestic violence against a man i my family first hand.
its really sad that we as a society rush to judgment so quickly. in this day of instant media information we take a step back and wait before convicting someone in the court of public opinion
I cried when I heard Johnny say “I am”
I hope no one would see it as an obligation for Johnny to do so, but it might be healing for Johnny to be involved in raising awareness and funding for male victim support.
I found you through Emily D. Baker's channel and coverage of the Depp v Heard trial, and have appreciated your insights from inside the courtroom, that those watching and without a legal background would miss. Thank you for covering this topic too because it's long overdue in our society. Hopefully this case will truly shine a much-needed light on the fact that there are male victims, even very masculine ones like Johnny Depp. I hope he's able to get the help he needs to truly heal from all he's been through.
I would assume that in half the cases, the woman would be the aggressor. Now, clearly women tend to abuse their partners in ways that involve psychological warfare rather than physical abuse, but it's abuse nonetheless.
I would not assume when psychological abuse happens, that the split would be 50/50. I doubt any research to the real numbers has ever been done.
@@oisnowy5368 I guess the point I was trying to get across is that the abuse that men have to endure is likely to be very much understated.
Another reason why the infamous Dr Hugh's professional testimony was up the creek.
As much people would like to just write this off as another celebrity courtroom battle, this particular trial I addressing much more serious issues that have never been addressed or even considered before. This trial is so important in so many ways, and I hope it will finally start a precedent to make it an equal and fair fight for all victims.
I am very happy to see this very important issue being addressed. DV can happen to either gender and should be treated with equal compassion and respect.
Thank you so much for bringing this topic up! I am and have been a victim of domestic violence at the hands of a woman. It’s taken me years to escape, I have been laughed at by police right to my face and just told to “block” her number and Facebook. I had police literally tell me to just stay away from her, after she hunted me down, found me at a gas station, burst in grab the drink I was buying and fastball it across the store and stealing a $10 bill out of my hand. Plenty of witnesses plenty of cameras this is all because I finally made the decision to leave her after she had hit me, threatened to get me fired from my job for abusing her when I never did. This trial is literally exposing the exact type of person I dealt with. Win or lose this case Johnny Depp has already won a fight for people like me him and so many others who suffer at the hands of manipulation and abuse not just physical but mental. And as I side note my ex was diagnosed professionally with BPD and refused to do anything to treat or manage it. Part of why I stuck around so long was thinking I could do something to help.
Thank you Ian. Your words are a public service. I’m sure this trial will shape our futures around the world.
I so hope Johnny wins, for what he’s been through and for what will achieve for male victims.
Am female and from the uk. This raising awareness of violence against men was GREAT, Runkle. Thank you for your insights.
I think Dr Hughes' testimony was an excellent example of how experts can become prey to selection bias. Working in a women's shelter will teach you that most abusers are men.
But if we look at the evidence before us, what are we seeing? One party contolling the other, refusing to let him leave, invalidating his experience, attempting to isolate him from his friends. The story about the boots felt real re: early, rigid, controlling behaviours. And he was vulnerable, in a lot of pain and addicted to opioids. A perfect "project" for a controlling person.
The only footnote I would say re:size. It's certainly true that people of any size or shape can be abused. However in terms of pure measurable outcomes there is a difference which means far more women are killed as a result of partner abuser than men. I think this is way it has been the main focus of law enforcement.
what was the story about the boots
Edit:
also some people trying to claim HE was isolating HER because he was jealous and didnt want her play in some of the movies, while her whole friendgroup lived with them, and he has to calm her down for an hour in the car in the parking lot to see his daughter and she is always annoyed/angry when HIS friends are over. its fucking textbook isolating
@@1995pieter early on when he came home she would take his boots off and give him a glass o fwine. One day she seemed busy on the phone he took his own boots off and that really upset because that was her job.
On your last point, women abusers are far more likely to reach for a weapon. I saw a study on this and in physical altercations it's FAR more likely for a male victim to get stabbed than for a female victim to get beaten to death because it doesn't take much physical strength to stab someone in a potentially fatal area like the gut. Which isn't to say beating to death doesn't happen, or men never use weapons, etc, it's just far more likely to turn out that way
@@vaughnhaney7020 I have seen some research supporting that women use sharp weapons when they use weapons, but I've seen mixed data around likelihood of using weapons of any form. Some data I've seen suggests that men are very likely to use guns against women in the USA.
Certainly data where I am (Scotland) suggest far more women die as a result of domestic violence than men. But tbh the data collection around perpetrators is not great here.
This should be mandatory viewing for everyone.
I remember when my female partner was abusing me the reaction from others was what did I do to deserve it.
Ian, I am so glad I found you. I used to be in court as an investigator (now retired) and I wish I could have referred people to you for help. Your capacity for empathizing with a person's upset is amazing and admirable. I wish I had been able to work with attnys that had that ability instead of them looking at a person as just another case in order to get paid. Your clients are lucky to have met you and be supported by you as they navigate the justice system in Canada. I am in the U.S.. When I first came across you on LegalBytes, I was surprised that you were a gun enthusiast, until I remembered that many, many people have guns in Canada, but don't often use them against each other, which is just the opposite here in the States. Be glad that this is the case for your Country as you really don't want it to be like us where kids are killed everyday over pairs of fancy athletic shoes, or someone decides they want your car, so they pull a gun and order you out of yours. It's a horrible way of life. Thank you for being you and I look forward to seeing/watching for your posts. I hope you have some fun during your time in the 'States'. I heard from Law and Lumber that you two are going to be at the courthouse. I hope you get in and look forward to your thoughts about the jury.
How can we be listened to When we are brutes if we're guilty or weaklings if we are the brutalized?
1972. I was 7, grew up in the middle of this BS. Addiction, jail, treatment. What we do reverberates throughout time. (edited for this) Love the endtro music, check out Bad Brains "return to heaven"
My background (education and work) is in early years education and gendered stereotypes starts from birth; it's everywhere without many noticing.Just read a selection of children's literature and see how males and female characters are presented, or how boys are often seen as 'naughty' or 'physical' in their play in childcare settings.
Great to see you on all the lawtube shows. Hope more people get to see your videos.
Keep up the great work 👍 👏
I'm a male and I've been abused in the past but I've never had the courage to voice them out loud much to anyone. Mostly kept it to myself and maybe let a few complaints out to my family when it got too much at times. Was very general in my complaints to make things seem less serious. Just didn't want to appear weak to society and my family/friends.
Don't really have any evidence so it's too late to do anything anyways. Most of the abuse was emotional as well. I just wanted to avoid arguments and confrontations so I rarely stood up for myself. I didn't want to be viewed as someone who was violent or had a bad temper so I just put up with stuff that I really shouldn't have.
I started hating myself and wanted to leave but my self-confidence was shot. Was never super confident in myself in the first place and it just got exponentially worse. I thought if I left, I'd never find anyone else who'd stay with me because who else would want to be with me. I thought it was my only chance in life and if it didn't work, I'd die alone.
Was also hoping things would eventually get better. Took me years to finally leave. I am by myself now but at least I'm happier for the most part. Confidence is still pretty low but at least I don't hate and blame myself for everything anymore.
Please don't give up, there are nice gentle women out there I promise.
My partner and I both had bad marriages so we decided not to move in with each other when we got together and have been happy together for 16 years now, living in our own homes.
Maybe that's a solution for you in the future.
@@cdumbeldorf5310 Yeah. I'm probably not going to get married any time soon. Much happier by myself and I don't want to get into another bad relationship.
@@flowerjpotter1629 I haven't lost all hope in finding someone eventually but I'm not actively looking right now. Just happier by myself and not particularly eager to try again.
I relate to every SINGLE thing that you’ve said. I feel soooooo seen, like your words have explained exactly how I have felt. My last relationship went exactly as you explained, ending in me hating myself thinking that I was just an awful person (though I wasn’t, nor have I ever been at all)!! I had never, ever felt so alone and isolated. 3 years. 3 years…… (pails in comparison to soooo many, my heart truly goes out to anyone that’s felt that way). I have learned a lot since I finally left (well, my friend literally came to the house and took me to my family after the night before had gotten so bad- and thank GOD she did). My confidence was horribly low, l moved back in with my mom and sister and my mom would say “honey…. What did he do to you? You don’t have to apologize for going down to your room…”. I am very grateful for you sharing your story, as I relate so incredibly much. I hope that your heart has healed, and your confidence has boosted, because you deserve it. We stand with YOU. We stand with Johnny, and with ALL victims of DV, IPV, etc. MEN and WOMEN and everything in between. DV is no joke, and just know that you’ve been heard. And thank you so very much. And RUNKLE YOU ROCK TOO! I SO appreciate your content in all it’s forms!
I’m SO very grateful that you got out. Whatever happens, at least you don’t have to “answer” to anyone, ya know? You’re free. You’re heart is free to heal, just please know that your soul is beautiful and your heart is gold and you’ll find the love that you deserve, and don’t stop until you find it. It’s out there. They are hoping to find you someday too. Keep your head up and your heart open.
@@allietaylor4991 Thanks for taking the time to read my story. Thanks for your comment and support. I hope you are doing better as well. It's honestly crazy how you sink into that rabbit hole. It's almost unnoticeable until you realize how much you hate yourself one day and blame everything on your inability or lack of x, y, z.
Thank you for posting this. Hopefully we can get society to realize that anyone can be a victim and help men as well as women to find the help they need.
A man in my family is being abused by his wife which is why this case has become so interesting to me
Lets hope that shelters for male victims are funded as result of this case. So much funding has been cut , so much so that established support has gone in the recent years. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom & experience. Female victims are very much in support of Male victims. Increase peace & healing.
Thank you Sir! My ex-wife cold-cocked me with a castiron frying pan from behind, as I was cooking supper. She threw her coffee cup at me when I had my hands full of cups from our guests. Kicked me from knee to crotch. I served 21 days after going in front of a hanging judge. In jail I was nearly a victim of a red Blacket beating, had I not been gutsie enough to expose the bruises, one of the inmates lived in the same building I did and he had his girl friend talk to my ex;who, admitted to using makeup to make a bruise on her arm. All the inmates asked to have me moved to a halfway house and explained why! Thank God I was gutsie and did what I did.
I can't tell you how many woman have dared me to report domestic violence.
So glad to hear a lawyer say this. Amd so disappointed that many lawyers know this, yet for decades have done nothing to fix it.
Excellent video. In Edmonton I was a victim of physical abuse (including assault with a weapon) by a woman (ex-partner) who also made malicious false allegations of harassment and assault. I was subsequently abused by the legal system and a man-hating Crown Prosecutor (name: Holinshead) who ignored all the exculpatory evidence, never looked beyond the stereotypical "believe the victim" myth and assumed her wild allegations were true even though the complaint was clearly suffering from a personality disorder (Borderline or Narcissistic) and who contradicted herself in court.
There's a social constraint keeping a man from fully defending himself.
Johnny may not win a dime in this judgment, but I suspect he’ll win in the long run
He has already lost. The second a woman makes a verbal accusation against a man, it’s already lost. Hence why Johnny lost all his contracts and Amber retainer hers. Even after the Avalanche of testimony, audio recordings, email exchanges pointing the finger at Amber.
My mom used the legal system against my dad. Going as far as to make up lies to get a restraining order that she didn't get served to him then telling him "yes you can come get her" when he asked to pick me up only to call the cops and lie saying he was going to kidnap me because she got the restraining order to try to get him arrested.
She also made up a story to try to get him charged with m*lesting me and when she got called out for lying she said "I must apologize to the court and Mr. (Dads name) I realize my information was wrong. I still want him punished because" the judge stopped reading and told mom to get out and if she sees her in her courtroom again with bogus stories she'd hold her in contempt.
My ex husband was hitting me. One day, with no provocation, he came up behind me, put his hands around my neck and lifted me off the ground, because he could. I was literally hanging. I went to a lawyer immediately. Anyhow, he then pretty much stopped the physical stuff and he started on the verbal and psychological abuse and I have to say, there were many times when I thought "it would be easier to deal with being hit". At that time we had 3 kids under 6 and I was living on the opposite side of the world to all my family. My point here is never, ever underestimate the extreme harm of spiteful, vicious words, contempt, dismissal, gaslighting. It destroys you to a point where you actually start to believe what you're being told. It's terrible that there are no shelters for men and how hard it is for men to see their kids when they leave. Your video was so compassionate, so enlightening and I thank you. Heard's words to Johnny brought back a lot of memories for me, bad memories. Gender has nothing to do with it. IMHO it's time we stopped talking about feminism, race, transgender issues etc and just focused on the fact that we are all just people, everyone of us.
Make sure you have a tent for midnight I heard people are doing that lining up at midnight to get into court.
Please sign petition to have AH removed from ACLU Ambassador title.
The legal system is too often used as a weapon. It is stacked against guys. Consider that the suicide rate among guys spikes greatly when they go through family court.
"... brings disrepute on the legal system"