Full Episode: Poly Vs Monogamy| Could You See Yourself In A Poly Relationship Part 1 & 2
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- Опубліковано 19 січ 2022
- We Had Our Special Guest The Portah Family Come Talk To Us About They're Journey In The Poly Life.
Is It Time To Relearn Monogamy?
Can You Be In Love With Multiple People?
po·lyg·a·my
/pəˈliɡəmē/
Learn to pronounce
noun
noun: polygamy
the practice or custom of having more than one wife or husband at the same time.
ZOOLOGY
a pattern of mating in which an animal has more than one mate.
BOTANY
the condition of bearing some flowers with stamens only, some with pistils only, and some with both, on the same or different plants - Розваги
Whether you agree or disagree with polygamy this was a great conversation. Wish we could have more in depth conversation about more topics without all the fluff and bs.
I think it’s interesting that Alex is requiring transparency and honesty that he refused to provide both women until forced to do so.
This nigga finessed the F outta this situation lol ladies raise your daughters better!
This was very interesting. I do feel like the wife is settling for this type of relationship because of her husband. But I don’t think this is something she really wants to do.
Hell no and she’s tryna explain her stupidity lol
The wife does not articulate herself well at all. I feel bad for her.
It seemed that way to me too although she said she thought about it. Before she thought about it, she gave him an ultimatum telling him it's her or the side chick... He said, Naw, i want the both of yal. I felt like he only said that because of the Vibes these two woman gave, as if it's OKAY, or their willing to settle for this. He could have lost his wife and the side chick, BUT their stance gave him power to demand both.
During a rough patch he went outside their relationship lying to both of them . That’s what don’t sit right with me as far as how it started. Especially her saying “ wanting to see what the other woman has that she didn’t…” comparison is a thief of joy
Thank you.. me either.. it couldn’t pass my throat trying to digest this👀
This ain’t real polygamy they got trapped
Shantel is the typical low class female who finds out the dude is taken yet use the excuse that it's already late because she is in love. Girl goodbye just say you didn't care he was taken because at the end if the day you should have removed yourself from that situation
Negative Nancy!😒.. You definitely single
@@roymeadow2076 she is not a negative nancy for stating facts. She shouldve removed herself if she wasnt going to be in a relationship with the wife as well. She was plotting on her man not the relationship
The ladies don’t like each other on the low
Thats normal... poly or not.
Cause this ain’t poly
I don’t believe that
Thought the.ladies didnt like.each other too....mainly because how the second lady came in the relationship, cheating
Glad they make it work but I couldn’t cheat on my wife then get her to build a relationship with the woman I cheated with.
This ain’t it! I’m a big supporter of poly relationships. I think it takes a certain level of trust, honesty and respect to make it a beautiful thing. This trio doesn’t have that from what I see. It started with lies and then the wife and gf agree to try the poly thing on the agreement of it being a full relationship (sexual) among the three. Then that doesn’t work so now the wife is back in a sacrifice situation. She has to settle and be ok with her husband essentially having a gf who lives with them. And clearly the ladies do not get along. They have already had fist fights and there is dislike between them. There was a lot of “it’s a lot” and “our kids see what we go through and they don’t want this” the gf said a few times that they would fight and when it came down to it the wife and husband had issues that would trickle down to her. The wife was cheated on, tricked into this relationship, rejected by the gf and now forced to fake like she likes this. The Gf, doesn’t even want this and said she wouldn’t have stayed if she was in the wife’s position. She is content right now until the next guy comes around. Guarantee she will be the one to leave and be in a monogamous relationship. And the husband is going to divorce the wife if the gf leaves. He was ready to be done with her for the gf. He didn’t want to keep them both.
Can’t help people that’s willing to lie to themselves is what I learned 🤷🏾♂️ sometimes. These mf was talking crazy though can’t deny that 😂
All facts stated here!!
This is exactly what I took from it. I’m like damn the wife chose to accept a lot of scenarios.
from the way you explained it, he a kruddy dude that married his wife under a false pretense and wanted to cheat and her be ok with it. that aint right. if he wanted to divorce the wife and then go into that polygamy thing with multiple women who agree with that lifestyle, cool. you shouldnt shame or force that on your girl or wife just because you want to be greedy.
I could not have said it better . All I see is hurt in the wife’s eyes . The gf wants him for right now and she was not willing to let him go she even said well let’s just do this .This is not a polyamory relationship this is all about Alex wanting his cake and eating it to. It won’t last long and I agree with your entire break down.
The day a man tells me he loves me and her, and wants both us cause he isn’t leaving her….. bihhh are u packing your stuff or do I need too? Don’t let the door hit you where the good lord split you!!!! 😑😑😑😑
Thank you this is bullshit
That’s because you have self esteem,something a lot of women don’t have unfortunately.
And thats why they dont tell you and be fucking on you behind your back
Polygamous yea ok. Let them bring another man into the home and then I will take this dude serious
They bullied her into that relationship, smh pay attention to body language and the words their using . Look at their eyes. The wife is broken
Ok Dr Phil
She Has a weird disposition maybe
She still looks very uncomfortable. She said she wanted the female intimacy/ sex and wanted it with her but couldn’t or it didn’t work out. So is it safe to say that is something she no longer wants or has she just settled for being in this relationship and not being fulfilled.
Seems almost very double standard he keep hollering it’s about the fulfillment but is she really being fulfilled?
I was thinking the same thing, the wife does a lil side eye here and there. It doesn’t seeem like everyone is fully healed, 🤔🤔
@@bohemianmuva717 there is definitely some underlying trauma. I have yet to see a poly couple come forth publicly with relationship and genuinely everybody is happy and fulfilled.
He deflected bad when asked can they pursue other men or relationships… he gave this long answer is fulfillment and then nonchalantly said yes. Clearly they cannot cause if they could the women would of spoke on it
This feels like the smoothest, sexiest and repectful interview on Poly I have seen. You guys pull it off even when I don't agree.
Good work exposing the lifestyle without making it taboo.
Coming from a closed triad... me and my wife of 25 yrs and GF of 3yrs.. this helped to hear others stories.. I will definitely sit my ladies down and watch this.. thanks for the vid✊🏾
The lady from Houston is ready for the other lady to be out the picture. 🤣🤣
The wife looks miserable tbh.
Takes a lot of bravery to come on like this, shout out to the portah family.
WOOOOOWWWWW. this is textbook definition of settling or accepting (not in a harsh way). Ideally, the women would want a monogamous relationships but they both love him. I wish they would've asked would they do this type of relationship again? Can he gain another partner? It's confusing bc you can have multiple if you are able to meet the needs of everyone; however, they admitted that their needs can be neglected. What about him gaining another partner if he has the "capacity"? It seems he is poly but Shantell is monogamous. I could see Shantell eventually emotionally detaching from this dynamic and going her separate ways.
“Some was true and some was not.....but at the end of the day he was upfront”.........what a contradiction!!!! He was either lying or honest period🤦🏽♀️
I just see two women who are competing for someone and hoping that he one day picks one over the other. That just my opinion. I have seen other poly relationships that I respect. But this one just seems like they have to deal with whatever he wants them to deal with. Which to me is very unfair
Definitely, in my opinion... The man is just selfish and has a good way with words that’s most likely how he was able to manipulate these women.
@@cemeciam.4019 Please let's stop calling it manipulation. These Women are grown and willing
What's crazy, is that while they believe they are living freely, each of them are still living in a cage to some degree. This relationship isn't Polyamorous, it's entrapment. 💯💯
Grow up 😂😂 He has manipulated this situation. It’s one thing if the women came to the relationship with this mindset, but they just succumbed to his will
All he needed to do was threaten the wife that he was going to leave and that's why it took her six months to get herself together because she didn't want to be a single mom out here with two kids and the other one wasn't going to let him go so you're absolutely right he manipulated both of them into that situation but he did worse to his own wife
this episode is a 10/10 hands down, convo was 💯on point, very informational
So he cheated on her and she stayed..
Yes because if she didn't stay here probably going to make her take the kids and start a new life with this other woman that's why he told her he was never going to leave The Other Woman alone he basically bullied his wife into this
@@bobbym1799 And where is this nation?
@@jaajjerm ?
@@bobbym1799 every time I here about this poly type of relationship, especially with black peoples. 1. It is always 1 man and 2 women 2. Then they always say that it is about building a strong black family or nation.
@@jaajjerm well this is not poly and is not healthy there is a poly but in this video this is just coercion
Big respect to this family. Most people including myself probably only looked at a relationship like this for it's sexual advantages. But as this family explained, it goes much deeper than that. All parties have to be mature emotionally and mentally and possess an understanding that it not about the needs of just one person. 👏
Very informative interview. I enjoyed it and learned a lot.
Its Every man's fantasy but its a lot of work. I'm not even able to maintain one, two will drown me
THANK YOU....THSES MEN WHO FANTASY ABOUT HAVING ALL THIS WOMEN UNDER1 ROOF DONT THINK BEYOND SEX......cause if they did they would be like hell nawl I'm good
@@oceaniamonarch5404 Not really.....
Yooo Amanda’s face at 29:29 after Shalaun finished speaking... 🤦🏾♀️ Sis in her mind was not feeling it!!
What's worse is that Rico was agreeing with her. If his daughter was in that situation, he'd be very disappointed SMH
It’s sad to watch. This woman is so broken and making excuses for a man who didn’t give af about her feelings. I pray she starts to know how valuable she really is
@@Ria19907 Totally agree!
@@marsha_rose Yes, that’s exactly what I was thinking. I’m sorry, but everything she said did not make sense. “Breaking the cycle” by staying with a selfish man that has manipulated you with his gift of gab to participate in a polygamous relationship.??? Okayyy 🙄
This is not polygamy they are sister wives. Wrong terminology is being used. Sister wives share the same man “husband” but the women are not intimate with each-other only the man. This just like the show on tv sister wives but he had 4. All the polygamy relationships I have seen and heard about on UA-cam all parties are intimate with each other romantically and emotionally.
THANK YOU!
🤔... interesting.....
Polygamy works best when both women are also into each other. Trust me, this is the best and less complicated
I think so, too.
Sounds like the wife settled with a selfish man who has the gift of gab. 🥴
You sound jealous and insecure
Polygamy is very much practiced in Islam it is very much common all over the Middle East. but it’s definitely nothing like this. There’s rules that apply, as a man if your looking to seek a second wife you tell your first wife and then you marry your second mate and so forth. The first obligation is that you can fully financially take care of both women and give them their full rights. This scenario wasn’t that, it gave me side chick turned main because she had no other choice!! . Most of the time in (islam) when a man marrys a second wife everyone knows his a married man searching for a second mate so there isn’t any deceit for the third party. Moving along polygamy isnt for everyone being Muslim my self NO one in my immediate family practiced it, not because it’s shameful but because it’s not economically possible especially living in the west. How ever before anyone looks down on polygamy know that people practice different things and everything seems bazar when it’s new to you and your looking in from the outside. I have never seen people have children out of wedlock Or live as common law till I moved to North America. So when people think polygamy is bazar we Litterally think the whole BM unmarried culture as insanely abnormal where I’m from.
You forgot to mention the woman are not allowed to have anothet partner.
@@Trini190 why would I want a second husband?
I respect their bravery and honesty.
Lol The number of people projecting on to the situation these people are in quite is silly. Yet everyone is a relationship guru and has all the wisdom + mastery to have a happy, healthy relationship. Congratulations to you all!
Shalaun don't seem right
Great show. Wonderful family, thx for sharing.
This sh!t is sad....The wife needs to go....She got bullied into this situationship.....The side is pathetic....Her mother should read her for filth.....
My man lol rico is enjoying the ish outta this conversation. 😭 my guy, i was tryna figure out how dude pulled this off too and didnt get killed. This is inspiration lol
Nah he cheated and forced his wife to either deal with It or be a single mom.
Great conversation!!!!
Lol…:: I hope they watch this back.
Great conversation 🖤🖤🖤
#PolyLove
Thank you for bringing this convo up
Love this conversation
this was a good show
i wouldn't say that the kids was outside lookin in. they was living in the dynamic
This was 🔥🔥🔥🔥
Ricooooo, your facial expressions and questions are 😭😭😭😭😭⚰️
I love this conversation
This was a great conversation!! Talk about them principles of polyamory!!
I had a different exposure to polyamory. Finding it through cheating? 👀👀 Whew that's tough! But it seems like they have done a lot of mental and emotional work to grow in these relationships.
@LifeIsRocqi I agree with you. From the moment I learned of this family (because I am walking through my own thoughts and emotions on Polyamory, and Polygamy), the very first thought was that he "stole" these Women's opportunity to come to the dynamic authentically.
@@Ohitishim which is why the growing awareness of ETHICAL and consensual nonmonogamy is so important. Give people the option.
@@lifeisrocqi EXACTLY!!!
Also, allow folks the opportunity to, both, think and learn about themselves; to come to an authentic conclusion-if they are available to walk out the dynamic.
#icouldgoforever #beenliedtobefore
@@Ohitishim I have had past experiences with nonmonogamy prior to coming into awareness of polyamory and I always wanted to be honest. But this society just doesn't normalize that it is okay to be.
It wasn't until I was given permission to be honest and open and transparent that I did.
And even though I questioned monogamy, as young as 9 years old, I'd never thought to do something outside of the system we live in.
Not until I was already like fuck this box they have us living in. And still even then, I needed to see Black folks. White people and polyamory, didn't connect for me. Like they already get to be free.
@@lifeisrocqi I feel you!!! 🕺🏿🕺🏿🕺🏿🕺🏿
As I navigate these waters, it does seem that that "box" is quite imposing. Yet, as I move through this new community (seeing that more are USING IT as an opportunity to live out those freaky tales) I am taking my time to locate genuine Women who are truly ready to live according to the truth that burns deep within them.
Daaaaammmm.... great segment and show...
I never thought id see another man, who literally thinks just like I do, every thing he said and the way he said is i felt like its what i would have said... its crazy
Usually the sister wives don’t sleep in the same bed. I feel like I’m all up in their business but does that mean that they watch him being intimate with the other?
I'm very interested in this conversation..shout out to the 8 for being unique and having different topics to discuss...in my opinion dealing with one woman is tough..managing all those emotions and all the good and bad that come with a relationships..after doing my thing in the streets..working ..my business.. family .. my hobbies..I feel all I can truly give of myself is to one woman...trying to spread myself out to multiple..that's another full time job. ....can't see myself wanting responsibility now..but who knows..could change one day.... I'm not condemning anybody else who wants this lifestyle though..I actually have more respect for them because it's honesty and it's not going behind a woman back and cheating....
Well said.
S/O Houston 🗣 WEEEEEEEEEEST! 🤘🏾
My man Alex smooth talking asl, I see how this happened. Need to step my skills up
Awww… Not the “we pull the family apart” if you don’t want to allow him to keep his side piece.
Exactly!!!
To each their own. If you're happy cool. In my opinion though most women who entertain these tyoe of relationships are settling and have low self esteem. It's in a woman's nature to desire monogamy. Feminity is all about intimacy and sacredness. I find it very hard to believe that women can be truly happy in these types of relationships. Everytime I see one there always seems to be an air of toxicity surrounding the situation. Like in this one...
Sign me up. Not how I would've started it... but I miss not having to take on every emotional need of my ex... and having the benefit of our girlfriend taking that on for me.
Definitely going to get back into this life now that I know what it's called and how it's supposed to be.
"I got to have BOTH of yal." 💣🤯🔥.
Preach Alex!!!!
Love this conversation!
I just can't let know other women into my relationship I'm not judging nobody I just can't do that cuhs if your married she should let any one come in between that
Remember do what makes you and ur partner (s) happy. What works for you may not work for the next
There always one who holds a greater position, is the law of human hierarchy. And we all see who holds 51% of the shares... this works while your young but not so much when your old...
Come on Oliver let's get married lol I like your point of view
This is not for me but those that want to do it should be allowed
Pure beauty. People that can workout their pleasures and insecurities all at the same time for the greater good. Tough start. Beautiful results.
Oh that's what Ricco like ....say that s*** again he said yeah that's what I like 🤣🤣🤣🍷
the wife is settling. she's not truly happy. she just doesn't wanna follow suit in the past toxicity that every female in her family was so hurt by cheating that she REFUSED to be like them. I think she's simply afraid to leave and be alone. she's caring blinders on her true feelings. and taking the easy way out (ironically). this woman on the left is like I wouldn't deal with that bs shalaun is doing. viewing her as weak.
It seems like the wife came to the conclusion most women come to in this type of situation. Am I staying or am I leaving? It seems like she stayed. He found someone who loved him regardless of what he did and drug her into having this kind of relationship. The wife would’ve been submissive regardless. He could’ve had outside children, etc. she wasn’t going anywhere. She’s a typical wife, frfr.
“Typical wife “ hmm what does that mean? Someone who had self esteem issues?
Have*
@@shantalbarbot5801 not at all. I meant it in a “that’s what’s expected” from a wife. To literally do whatever her husband tells her to do.
55:40 women already do that on a regular, it’s called emotionally cheating, which is another form of poly
He’s a really good talker
Almost anything is possible if it's communication and growth
Smh. I don't understand why People do this. Just be with one Person & sit it down.
😴
She’s cheating back lol 😂
Damn im too early, i will wait for the juicy comments 😁😁
Lol 😆
4:17 I’m confused
I see right through this mess. See side chick truly just wanted Alex to herself, but wife wasn't having it so she decided to play the game instead of losing. I've been there. Found out my dude was cheating and he admitted he wanted both of us. My ego, just like the wife's, couldn't take losing to another woman so I agreed initially. The twist was when side chick realized she couldn't steal my man and I was cool with sharing she bounced altogether. Yes, she was cool sleeping with my man behind my back, but couldn't handle me knowing. Side chick in this situation is a fire sign so she chose to stay and play the game too. Yeah, they may all be cool now, but I see how it started. Damn shame women fall for this mess because they don't want to lose to the other woman. Ill say as soon as my man's side chick bounced for good I dumped his ass too. My ego was only satisfied with him losing.
First of all, thank you for willing to share the details of your relationship. I have so many questions though because they didn't provide details for certain things. What cycle does the wife think she broke exactly? I'm confused. He lied and said he was gonna divorce her. He then said he wants them both. Then all of a sudden the wife loves the woman anatomy. I don't see how this is a maturity thing. This isn't polyamarus. He's having his cake and eating it too. His wife isn't benefiting from him having a girlfriend. The girlfriend is going to leave once she gets tired of this nonsense and meets a new guy. If this was something agreed on from the beginning then cool. But this was "built" on lies! The girlfriend does not care for the wife at all. Your husband cheated and u became ok with it only to be rejected by the girlfriend. Tf. Oh lawd the kids. He had a baby with the girlfriend too 😳 🤦 😫 idk to each their own.
You so negative! 🤦
This nigga Friedrich Nietzsche💪🏾👯♀️
This poly isn't genuine.
I was thinking the same thing
Forced because he cheated. Not genuinely put together
@@deeboogie4017 Right. She accepted two people in her life that didn't give af about her feelings. Your man betrayed you, deceived you, unfaithful, selfish, disloyal, disrespectful etc. That's hate.
Wait the wives have to work ?? Absolutely not
It is what it is.
Shalaun … baby girl… he is in a relationship with the other woman.. you are in a relationship with him .. if he had to pick he would pick her.. and eventually he will… it’s just fun for now for him… soon you will become a burden to them.. great show tho..
The Moral of the Story - "One partner at a time" - ...Dude with the Adidas Cap - BIG SIMP 💯 - broken homes & poor parenting.
I would love to see this topic discussed from the lens of a more organic poly relationship happening. I think it could of been consumed better
It seems that poly is rooted in honesty!! Honest people who are mature enough to build a kingdom and raise their children together. Not for me, but I respect it. True love really does conquer all.
It looks like this relationship is based on dishonesty. He cheated and the wife is lying to herself about being happy.
@@daradee3593 In this case they both admitted that they were playing games.Living together and dating other people. When she discovered the other woman he was honest about what he had been doing.Love is a strong emotion. Black women outnumber black men out here now. I think that the poly lifestyle will be more normal in the future than we know. It seems that the wife took a L but, they said that they love each other, we can only go by what they’re saying.
the family of destiny on here. this is cool tho.
Rico feeling Erin
Aye I got a check who likes chicks but I’m the only man, if she wants another female (not a stud, she doesn’t like those) she would let me know and of course want me to join, if I want another female I would explain it to her and she would join with me. She’s not insecure or anything and this was broken down to me as we started getting a clear bond with each other. Wants kids, knows I have a daughter, she loves kids and wants to add to my life. And that’s all I’ve wanted was for some damn peace I’m not a bad guy, I’m a good man and I have good qualities and morals that outweigh the bad. Many women find me handsome or are attracted to me but if I want to stick to one female I can but the option and free will is nice. For someone who was used to having multiple women this fits the way I’ve always lived
I dont know why they ALwAYs give THIS Throuple the platform to share their dynamic cuz I never saw it as real love from the first time I saw it are they tryin to get a reality show or something????like what is it?
Right, I don’t know why I see this mess everywhere. The portah “family” is so jacked up.
Madness.
Interesting🙄
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Poly is so attractive to me and I'm, 60.
Q: would he be just as willing to have that same lifestyle if it were his wife who loved another Man?
Could the man move into their house and she fix the relationship by have both men???
If the answer is No.
It's Bs....he just wants to benefit himself and not honoring the lifestyle.
40:50
55:00
I listened to everything he said the first time. If his Wife wanted someone else BACK THEN. I'm sure he would not of accepted that shit. It's a convenience for him. Men don't share their Wives with other men usually. The facts of double standards.
@@zurikamaria9265 and if they do they don’t love her
I need a hub and a wife to live the rest of my life , therapy healing love & expansion please 💰💯👌🏾🥰
Yes
But she the one he cheated on you with. 🤦🏿♂️
They don't really seem... Happy.... They seem like they're dealing with it. That's... Not my idea of how poly relationships should work.....
Nothing starts out perfect. Especially if you have been trained in monogamy and don't know there are other options available.
Nah, he lied, don't cover for it
@@morselsofgold I didnt cover for it, I just said that most men dont know they can have this conversation, but allot of people are cheating anyway.
I often question what relationships would look like if ethical nonmonogamy was the norm.
@@lifeisrocqi Yeah Disney Marvel needs to do a "What If" on poly.🤣 I see you are a youtuber maybe you could do a "What if" non monogamy was the norm video on it.
@@Gotinks great suggestion! Thank you
This man is wicked and did not do polygamy right...
Nor justice