Identification and Attachment - Disidentifying with Ego Identities - How to Let Go
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- Опубліковано 2 жов 2024
- Identification and Attachment - Disidentifying with Ego Identities - How to Let Go
In this video I talk about how attachments get added to the ego identity as well as how to let go of attachments by becoming aware of how they seem to serve us.
I also talk about my own attachments candidly in this video to give a clearer picture of how they come up from the firsthand experience. It is my hope that you can take my personal anecdotes and find similar patterns within yourself for greater clarity.
Then I give a three step process for letting go of attachments and identities by starving the thoughts that result from the attachment. So, you simply observe the emotionally charged thoughts without getting involved in them. With enough observation and disidentification the attachments will fall away little by little and you will eventually be free of delusions about the self.
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The best proof you're doing a deep acceptance of your shadow is how you expose it here with that honesty, just amazing.
This kind of tripping me out. I just had the realization a little while ago that we are all storytellers, and we barter stories. I realized this when noticing very eccentric panhandlers, and then hearing people tell the story of helping them, and realized that they were not begging, they were selling stories. This is the forth video I have watched of yours, and it feels like you are summing up the last ten years of my life in well articulated principles. Thank you for making the journey yourself, and for sharing it with the world. Keep being awesome!
Story telling is innate that's why there is so much literature writing going on,movies, videos in songs .....all are different medium of telling stories....
Your videos are a gift to humankind. Thank you.
Thank you for your kind words. They're really encouraging. You're welcome too! :)
Only two minutes in, and i have to stop to write that THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED. Perfect, Thank you
+WildSandwich The way to tell if you have an attachment is if you can do something that publicly undermines the identity without fear or resistance. So, if you identify as an alpha male, would you be willing to look publicly effeminate or "beta" if you had to, without resistance or fear for undermining the "alpha" self image? Also, if someone called you "beta" would you feel the need to defend the "alpha" identity? Which would be honestly be scarier to you, an intensely masculine test of strength and willpower or being seen getting a manicure/pedicure while drinking a Virgin Fuzzy Navel at a Broadway Showing of Mama Mia? However, if you just so happen to have alpha male traits, this doesn't really constitute an identity in and of itself. So, if you have a tendency toward cool-headedness without consciously deciding to be cool-headed, then that's just how you happen to work. So, you should allow whatever happens to be there to be there. However, beware because people will often turn traits into identity attachments. So, radical honesty is needed when assessing if you're attached to certain traits as components of the identity.Also, you can choose to use certain tools to get through life, if they serve a function for you. For example, if you find that using a certain alpha trait helps you genuinely get along better in the world, then by all means use it. But don't identify with it. It's not who you are, it the tool you use. And you are not a slave to the tool. You can pick it up and put it down as it serves your purposes. But ultimately, if you think the thought "I am an alpha male" then this is rooted in the illusion of duality and thus obscures you from Truth, and therefore liberation. There is no individual that is "you" to be an alpha male or anything else for that matter. The identification is just more ego baggage to distract you from what you really are.
Emerald, are you Spirit Whisper? If so I gotta go no contact. She's a stranger but really trolled out. But you sound too kind. my defense, Bail. Im recovering from Narcissistic abuse trauma. If its not you im sorry. Im practicing detachment. I had a knee jerk reaction, then stopped myself for giving her supply. im not responsible for others feelings. I don't need validation. Besides that , nice to.meet you. Of.course you are Beautiful!👍
And if I ever said anything innapropriate to you i apologize and straighten this out now. Im human and dualistic. My Higher Power is Non-Dualistic. It is America , Land of the Brave, Home of the free. Anyway o don't think you are the person. It doesn't matter.
People's judgements do bother me but their judgements don't keep me from doing what I want.
Thanks for sharing this technique to recognize attachment.
Let me just say it doesn't probably always work out this way. Depending on the identification, people tend to hold some close to their heart and deny it out in public for social conformity. I for example view myself as a innocent child at heart who has learnt to navigate the world but who has still remained the same within. Now of course if someone comes along and asserts that I'm not a little kid and am fully capable to take on life's struggles I would cheer them on because they serve my purpose of keeping my self image close to my heart. But upon deconstruction that self image is probably nothing but an identification that I should work my way towards abandoning. It hurts even to write this.
It's so refreshing with someone daring to put themselves out there on a very personal level. Best wishes to you. Greetings from Denmark
...and if I may add in often a humorous way. It's entertaining to experience how our ego is often manipulating our own self in situations where we think we're actually the ones manipulating others..:-))
@@martin5088 Mind... Blown.......
You speak excatly what's mentioned in Advaita philosophy of non duality. Being a student of Advaita school of thought and Jungian pyschology, your videos make absolute sense. Gratitude🙏
simply mind blowing, however there really isn't really anything simple about it. I've spent the last few years really trying to validate my existence by "finding myself" when it reality I was just burrying myself under ideas that are not actually mine.
I find that identifications and lies work like a fly trying to get off a piece of fly paper, if we detach from one idea we often get stuck on another one. So, it can be a quite unnerving process... but incredibly important.
What's the point, then?
Emerald “the low key hilarious” person. Lol this message was very artfully delivered. Well done!
Not 'Who' you believe that you are but 'What' you are actually 'feeling' inside.
The Who is your name and address, your conditioning based on your background, etc.
What you are inwardly is your level of actual self awareness of your feeling, your self talk and the awareness or lack of it, of your beliefs [escapes from reality] you have about your self and the curiosity and questioning you have about your conclusions, your conditioning etc.
The obvious inner awareness of the inner demand for your mind to be free of its conditioning,
and/or your demand to conformity to the social/societal pressure.
18:50 So so beautiful to hear you say that!!!
Thank you. I appreciate how deeply developed your thoughts on this are, in combination with your humour about your own ego & attachments! Very relatable. I look forward to more videos! Have a good one.
I'm so happy I found this channel. The topics you discuss are exactly what I've been working on for about 10'12 yrs. Not your average topic to talk to friends about.
My personality disorder BPD, sent me to Psychiatrist for bout 25-30yrs . Common folks dont get it,
I appreciate you! I feel clear and inspired and more capable of meeting my attachments and letting them go.
This is brilliant thank you. So a way to stop the pattern of over sharing would be to just starve it and stop when I feel the urge unless I'm with those I trust and have a foundation with who share mutually.
Identity is a very fascinating idea isn't it? What we refer to as I, me, myself is nothing more than a story we tell ourselves. Like a movie we are so caught up in that we forget it is a movie and identify with it as our self. What we refer to as I only exists in our mind and all of our attachments reinforce this concept we have of self which is nothing more than a collection of thoughts, a mental impression. My main reason for wanting to overcome my attachments is simply to be free and to be at peace. Not being reliant upon anything for my happiness. Beyond our self there is just beingness and that is complete contentment and it is identification with the whole of life not just an isolated ego. That which is within me is that which is the foundation for all of life and existence itself. It is the same for us all for we all derive our existence from the same ground of being. When we find that within ourselves we are free. It is the ultimate fulfillment of the human condition.
Well said! It's good to know that there's more to life than just being what we think we are. :D
Hi Allen. I think to a degree awakening has been mis-sold . Yes, so SOMETIMES feel like you describe. Much of our suffering is gone. However other times this is very difficult, especially if you feel compassion for all other sentient beings and all the suffering they undergo. That is why Brahma asked Buddha to NOT just live an enlightened life in a cave but to actively teach Dharma. Sometimes the suffering of others causes us to suffer....?Also mind suffering is gone, which is great as is most of what we suffer pre awakening. But absolute suffering, such as illness is not gone. That will only be gone in the next life (if you believe that) as a result of your good Karma, but not in this life.
simon redfern suffering is really not a good interpretation. The word dukkha in Pali is more of a unsatisfactoriness of life. Transient things such as money, relationships, possessions ultimatley do not bring about satisfaction. They may at first but in time they lose thier appeal and we are again unsatisfied. It is our craving/attachment to these things that is the root of this unsatisfactoriness. The second noble truth is the truth of desire producing dukkha. None of it means that we do not feel compassion for the suffering of others. It does not mean that we will not get sick but it does mean that if we are unattached that we no longer allow our biases to colour our perception of reality. It also allows us to see the truth of our true nature which is peace. When a person finds enlightenment/awakening they have inner peace no matter what life brings and they accept whatever happens in life and that acceptance is part of the source of thier peace.
Allen. Wise words, thank you. I think I agree. OK, slight change of tack here but relevant to Emeralds original video.
One of the most helpful things I did for a while was to do a kind of noting practice of when I was feeling "superior" (to others and to my own sense of personal ideal of myself) or "inferior" (to others/my ideal). Also noting when I thought reality was "satisfactory" or "unsatisfactory" Really eye opening was how often I was applying these false labels.
Benefit of this kind of practice is you get really good at noticing "superior/satisfactory" and "inferior/unsatisfactory" as a state. A body-mind state. Advanced practioners know in their bones that "states" are not self, so it also reduces the stickiness/reactivity of both those states.
However, these are really core mindstates and it takes a lot to loosen them up. The most insignificant of things can evoke a sense of "status". I am still working on this..........
simon redfern I think once we get an awareness of emptiness it gets much easier to let things like status drop away.
Love watching your videos. My 2 cents. Just the intention of wanting to drop attachments already introduces a certain rejection of these things. I say, embrace and enjoy all of our “shallow” characteristics.
Whe else wants to do Mushrooms with Emerald?
Thank you so much for your work. I started being a seeker about 8 years ago and love listening to people who are also on the path. I stumbled upon your channel yesterday and what a fantastic fantastic resource it is, I feel blessed. The way you articulate makes perfect sense. It is simple yet profound. I thank you for taking the time out to create these valuable resources. Much gratitude and love. God bless you !
Thank you! :)
These personal examples are much appreciated and extremely useful and relatable here; thank you for illuminating them for this purpose. :)
Thank you! I"m glad that they're helpful for you! :D
Very accessible and a clear explanation. Thank you.. x
It seems like from birth to up around 5th grade my mind was free from all this you mentioned. I associated myself with being the "class clown" in 6th grade and it's been a rough road ever since.
Thanks for sharing this honest and helpful knowledge!
Your perverted desire to be the expert consultant shines through. That was what I was about to write, but then you displayed self awareness. Nice little twist, there's a possibility of transcendence here - subscribing.
Thank you. It is a very strong attachment that I have.
The Diamond Net It puts the attachment in the basket or else it gets the hose again!
Emil Dahlman *(Dances flamboyantly around the room, wearing other people's skin... ya know... the usual) :D
I follow a forum with a lot of young guys in their late teens and early twenties who are trying to improve their lives including getting better with approaching women, dating, and relationships and I've heard from many of them that RSD Tyler is the best. But I'm married with children, so that's not really the stage of life that I'm in. So, I gotta pass on the beard. :D
Oh, kids are cool :) And spouses are cool when you have kids I guess!
You are attractive and beautiful. I love the way you bare your soul through the social media of You Tube through Carl Jung. You are faceing your demons head on. I admire you.
I've had a couple of ego transcendence experiences before so I know how it feels like to let go. I've also become more competent at noticing what is going on inside my mind, what my identifications and attachments are, what kind of thoughts and judgements come up often etc. But I feel like the more I notice these things, the more miserable and self-pity I feel. There's a fear deep down that if I let go I'd lose my story, my sense of self. I'm aware of it but I can't help being judgemental to myself about it. How can I just watch without having an opinion?
Thank you for posting, and 'disidentification' is such a lovely word.
Observe passively, without trying to fix, each thought as it emerges, and you will see your attachments and what you identify with, watch and see how your thought-feeling-image making is conditioned and you will never be fooled again by outside or inside influences.
YES!!! Be acknowledged and encouraged Emerald. Definitely!!
Doug G in LV
You remember Carmen Sandiago. No one remembers Carmen Sandiago. 👍🏆🥇
Emerald, I admire your gift of explaining these ideas in such a lucid way. Your way of clarifying the concepts you discuss helps me to get their meaning in a fresh and useful way.
You are brilliant........Thank you for shining a LIGHT!!!!!!!
Doug G in LV
Thank you! :) Your words are really encouraging to me!
Dear Emerald. Always useful to listen to your selfanalyses. Its nice to hear from others that also are in the same situation as one self. It comforts me in times of trouble. Have a lovely week. Martin. 🤗❤️💧we are only small drops of water in the ocean of love.
Loved it! Watching It again!
It almost feels like your trying to erase your humanity. Like trying to be better by getting rid of what you perceive as illusory.
I identify as a hard man. I was in a paedo ring as a child and constantly beaten and told I was weak and stupid saw my friends brutally murdered; can't let myself be scared of anything.
I love people deeply would give my last to anyone. I am gentle and kind; but would break you with no remorse if you get in my face.
I love Beethoven and AC DC I love wild flowers and poetry: I love combat sports.
Consequently I don't fit in anywhere.
I am struggling to come to terms with an extremely brutal past and to make sense of my massive contradictions.
I would appreciate any help.
Love your videos they have been helpful, Thank you.
I'm very sorry to hear that you've been through that. I couldn't even imagine what that's like. My best bit of advice that I can give to anyone dealing with trauma at any level; from mild to severe, is to focus toward the sensations in the body to process through emotions that have not been resolved. Basically, to give an analogy of how emotions work in the body, imagine that the central nervous system is like a light bulb. So, a lightbulb has a certain amount of watts to it, which is the amount of energy it can process at a time.
So, if you have a 100 watt lightbulb, and you try to pump 200 watts of energy into it, it will blow. The central nervous system is similar in that it can only handle so much energy at a time. We have a limited number of emotional watts. (And that's what a trauma is... an emotion that's has too many watts for us to process at once.)The difference is that our system is much more resilient and complex than a lightbulb. So, we don't blow out when we experience an emotion that's too big to handle.
The mind and body complex work together to shut down the processing of those big emotions (this is why traumatic memories are often forgotten), and that emotional energy stores in the body... and it only comes up when something activates similar patterns. It's why military veterans, who have PTSD, get flashbacks when they hear cars backfiring because it reminds their emotional body of a similar experience to warfare. And the severity of the original situation puts them right back in the traumatic situation in a very real way when those emotions get triggered.
So, the solution is to go in a process the emotional energy that's stored away in the body a little bit at a time. You'll want to process it very gradually... just 100 watts at a time. Otherwise, you'll trigger up too much of the traumatic emotions to process and the shutting down process will happen again, and the mind/body complex will double down on its protection mechanisms.
For this, you can use body scan mediation, Kundalini yoga, Kriya yoga, breathwork, bio-energetics, and any other practice that focuses directly on energy in the body. I hope this is helpful.
@@TheDiamondNet thank you so much for the advice and more importantly for caring enough to reply, thank you it means a lot.
very good explanation. that's only the inner part however. the outward part that's important to be mindful of is to respond to what the environment calls you to do. let that inner tension flow outward in harmony.
The whole thing is a head game we play on ourselves and the world reinforces these ideas. I like to look at nature and try to realize that I am no different from anytbing else in nature just another piece of life and although this ego self will die some day the life that I am part of will continue.
I really enjoyed watching this video. A question - what do you do? Just observe all thoughts as the come and pass and which ones would you act upon?
i wish i was this in tune with what's happening when i was as young as you. Its taken me till i'm 51 to understand all this.
I just opened up a Patreon account for The Diamond Net. Anyone who's interested in pledging to my channel in exchange for rewards, click the link below:
www.patreon.com/thediamondnet
$1526 per month😊
So you said that "life has no meaning" and from what I understood it is because each of us create our own personal meaning to life to make it have more sens for us and be valuable. I totally agree with this, but I have a question : Is this something you don't recommand doing or is it "good" for us to find meaning in our life so we can pursue what we describe as our purpose on Earth?
PS : Not a native English speaker. Love your videos 💕
I love your videos so much. You're excellent, Emerald. Thanks for the content.
Thank you and you're welcome! I'm glad you like them! :)
Thanks for your presentation As always, thoughtful and clear understanding of often complicated topics. Hope you ,family ,friends and neighbours are doing well in surviving the storm . That in itself is a good lesson on the power of nature opposing mans ego . How small we are and weak in comparison .
On inflation , Jung popularized the term psychological inflation .Jung used it in reference to Nietzsche , saying he was inflated , sighting that Nietzsche identified with the Christ figure . Ego inflation in Jung work, as you no doubt know , is used as when one one identifies with his persona . One becomes over blowing or full of hot( in layman terms, air and cant let go of their persona .
It is a serious problem and in fact, like the snake in Cristian symbol .one attaches and wraps themselves around a misleading thought that strangles the spiritual growth that is the original intentions .On e does not let go strangles the spirit of the word rather than give life to it . Cause and effect , the " fear of the unknown, "
A quick story that DR Marion Woodman ( Jungian Psychologists ) shared from her own experience , She was going to a jungian psychologists for dream interpretation sessions .( one has to go through a yr of Jungian analysis before being studying at Jung Institute ) She said she worked hard , in fashion of a A+ student ,her usual style in preparing for her first visit with a popular Jungian Dr. .She went in with all her dreams and went on about all their meanings . She feeling good inside waiting for a father "well down daughter "reaction .. The Dr looked at her , mythologically thinking than said ...Marion do yourself a favour , "on your way home ,stop at a bar for a drink " She said it was not what she expected her ,,but she got the point .. I believe she used that for one of her books ,,, ""Addiction to Perfection " On the same topic .I once addressed DR. Woodman with a dream and some complexes around it , She advised me to go out and get some nature .Adding i need more nature in my soul not so much academia.
In closing .. I saw a quote from Jung the other day that is oh so true .
" Thinking is hard to do ,thats why people prefer to judge .
Thanks you. We're all doing well after the storm. Our neighborhood got off pretty lucky. I definitely agree with Jung about Nietzsche being inflated. He was a man of great intellect but very much disconnected from emotion, in my perception of him. I read "Thus Spoke Zarathustra" and "All the is Done out of Love is Beyond Good and Evil" and you can tell that he was very lost in his own ideas despite having very interesting and deep ideas. It's probably why he had the spell that he had at the end of his life. He had wound himself too tight. That's just my view though, from my limited experience with his work. I can relate to Dr Woodman's addiction to perfection. It's definitely a constant battle to be somehow seen in a positive light. But this varies from person to person. Some people think positive means being proper and others think positive means not caring about being proper. So there's a definite anxiety to being around new people for fear of judgment. That's a great Jung quote about judging. I think there's a major epidemic of judgment due to the fact that everyone is so much on the defensive and wants to be somehow superior to others to validate their existence. I have a big problem with judgment that I've been slowly peeling away. But the urge to do so runs very deep. Thank you again for watching. :D
Just want to say that I stumbled upon your channel and your insights has been neutral, "realistic" and clear to understand so far for me :) . Everything you mentioned (that I had watched so far) has been resonating with me. I'm also in this spiritual journey that combines logical explanation and neutrality as my brain tend to "overthinks" and "overdissects" things. Sometimes the brain or ego needs some understanding before they can "let go" of an old belief.
I'm glad to hear you say this, because this is my hope for my videos. I want to share insights that everyone has experienced but have not yet put into words. Thank you for reaching out! :D
I really think it's the future. The separation between Science and Spirituality. A lot of scientists and psychologist are starting to question what is "more" out there. Indeed if you look back at Einstein, Carl Jung or the great iconic people in the past, you do wonder how are are they so ahead of their time. It must be really lonely for them.
Love your vids! GREAT insights.
Another excellent video, thanks.
The most intelligent psychoanylist I have heard in a long time!
Oof, just subbed the other day, but when you said life had no meaning, I'm out.
It's a tough truth to stomach that existence is inherently empty of meaning, but it's beautiful once you realize that all meaning is internally created. So, reality is not meaningful or meaningless, it simply cannot be fathomed by the meaning-making functions of the human mind.
@@TheDiamondNet I think that theory is a potentially dangerous thing to bandy about to people seeking enlightenment. Seems like a more Nietzschian way of approaching values, which not everyone will understand without further elaboration. Thanks for taking the time to clarify your position.
@@Zach0451 Not everyone is seeking enlightenment though. In an existential crisis this is the ultimate conclusion. If people cannot fathom Nietzsche they probably should not be reaching for enlightenment in the first place.
@@lucibloom5966 The elitism is palpable
If you paint you are painting.. you can say you are a painter. If you are walk dogs you can say you are a dog walker.. to label you is just to describe what you do, not who you are. You are a father, you don't do fathering you just are a father. So all these labels are true labels, you are a citizen doesn't mean you do citizen.. you are a female doesn't mean you do females.
vito libido not in spanish... If you translate i am a dogwalker in to spanish it woukd be "yo soy un paseador de perros" but i am walking the dog would be "yo estoy paseando al perro" ... To be as "ser" is identification... To be as "hacer" is a transitive state, anr you can be in a transitive state every day all day and not be the identity related to it... For example, anyone can sing all day long and not be a singer...
you embody the power of vulnerability thank you for sharing so happy I found your channel
what childhood unconcious memories can be responsible for any current identies.
Thank U 💜
Gracias. Very good stuff
I'm a bit confused, you made it out to sound like anyone who believes that they are good are actually narcissistic and placing themselves above others. At least, that's how it sounded, and it's contradictory to me, because I've always believed I was good for NOT thinking like that and working hard to keep myself on a level playing field with others even when I feel like I'm in a better position than them. Is there another name for this feeling?
Thanks Emerald I was getting confused about ego transcending you explained it in beautiful easy and doable steps
I like the step where you have stressed that we don't have to force anything on us
Great stuff and some good advice. Will definitely be trying these techniques. Thank you Emerald.
Identification with the temporal is the one Source of all suffering.
Empty of the temporal = Full of the Eternal.
Being aware of being aware.
You're the most worthwhile person i've ever known on this earth so far... Maybe because i'm also worthy and nobody else but me and you is😅. We're the perfect match and im the cleverest and funniest follower you actually have. I also observed and witnessed all this so i did it perfectly. Life is gold. After all... Humble thanks
Dear Emerald, the video's image preview title has a spelling error as idenfication rather than identification.
Thank you for letting me know
@@TheDiamondNet You're welcome, keep up the great work.
Dude.... your stuff 👍... you ever feel like you're crazy for battling all of these different identifications?... or would feeling crazy be a result of a separate identification that'ss more societal based?
Wow, Emerald, you really put yourself out there with this video. It made me realize I have the exact same situation. Thanks for your videos, they are helping me a lot.
I perceive two distinctions within the self. The fine line between these distinctions seems to be in terms of association. The shadow seems to be everything we have dissociated from, and the identity seems to be everything we are associated with. The addition of the ego makes it a bit more complex. It seems to me that the ego and identity are commonly perceived as one, (because they are) but they have some distinctions between themselves as well. If we are to define identity and ego in terms of association, my definitions for both would be as follows. Identity is defined as everything you are associated WITH. Ego is defined as everything you associate yourself AS. So it would clarify the distinction in both by distinguishing that ego is an associative term referring specifically to everything you associate yourself AS, in your self concept. Identity would be a general associative term inclusive of self concept AND things IN RELATION to the self concept or ego. (such as hobbies, occupation etc) So if you like to cook, you cook consistently, you are great at it, you enjoy it, you consider it a hobby, but you never associate yourself as a chef, that would still fall under your general identity because you are associated WITH cooking, but not your ego because you arent associating yourself AS a chef. This would explain how identity and ego are perceived as one because the specific qualities you associate AS within your self concept still fall under the general qualities you are associated WITH in identity. So the ego would be like the core of your identity, as in the qualities you most strongly associate with and most consistently integrate. So to distinguish your ego from identity you could write: for the ego - “I associate myself as...” for identity you could write “i am associated with...” What do you think?
This is the first of your videos that I have disagreed with. Perhaps there is some part of your perspective that I have missed, but I think you are saying that nihilism is the ultimate truth, and I object to that.
I agree that our various identifications and attachments often cause problems. However, I believe that the proper response to these problems is to scrutinize ourselves and refine these identifications so that they capture our best selves.
If it were indeed the case that our attachments are completely empty and meaningless, then the most effective way to prove this to ourselves would be to act directly contrary to them. In this video, you said that your deepest attachment is to the idea of yourself as a "good person". If so, then nothing would free you from this attachment as thoroughly as doing those things which you consider to be the most contrary to "goodness". So for example, if you deliberately committed the most morally offensive act you could think of, then you would no longer be able to rationally think of yourself as a "good person". You would instantly be free of your attachment.
Subsequently, you might be tempted to form the reverse attachment, by viewing yourself as an evil person. But you could just repeat the same technique to destroy this new attachment, by performing the most noble selfless actions that you can conceive of.
You could continue on with this endeavour, methodically removing any justification you might have to associate yourself with any potential quality or nature. Eventually you would run out of labels to aplmy to yourself and you would be forced to view yourself as something utterly indefinable.
If it is the case that nihilistic perspective is the most accurate picture of existence, then this meaningless, undefineable thing is what we ahould all aspire to. It is the most authentic and fully realized "person" that can exist.
I do not believe that this kind of freedom from identity is something to be sought. I think that the activity of life is to nurture and grow one's self, not destroy it.
If the true self is that which cannot be otherwise, then the quickest path to authentic existence is suicide.
I hope this comment doesn't appear to be hostile. I don't want to attack you personally. I agree with and respect many of your ideas. But I see problems with what you said in this video, and I am trying to convey exactly what those are. My goal is not to undermine your perspective, but simply to communicate with you.
Thank you for your videos they are very helpful. I really do think you are very special, because you are greatly intelligent and understanding, your are humble & intellectually aware. You show to be a highly conscientious female which is impressive, and the fact that you DONT think that you are better or above others says many good things about you, i see you have developed to understand the mind much better than the majority of us do, and thats amazing but its also hard, and because these things are so hard to understand it makes it special for you to be that woman who is with us, and who has decided to take her time to study these things and to teach us all and help us understand them. Thank you! Its very helpful, and thats possibly the reason why your with us. I really see the light in you. You are in fact above the usual. We did try thinking of a person we could compare you to, maybe a friend but i dont remember, i cant. Maybe thats evidence that you are above the usual kind. Because being above the usual means that you are not comparable, it means to be incredibly unique and thats the beauty of the Universe. You have been gifted with these amazing talents that have been granted to you, its what makes you so interesting and beautiful. But for a person to be different than the others, because we are in fact different then others, you had to be in fact the only one, can you not see that this is why you are here? isnt that what makes you different? Isnt it our distinction from the rest the Answer? Of course, that is why we need the differences, we need to breathe the Chaos and we need ORDER to be and to become, we learn from the evil and we all suffer are own tragedies but we need the problems because we also need to solve them, you can choose to become something yet you could loose it all. We have the wealthy and we have the poor and we can all decide. You just need to believe. There are so many things waiting for you (E) its our adventure, just find your way out of the Darkness and be a light on the Universe.
Everything is possible yet we still have the decision to bring about the impossible. Everything is true including the imposibilities.
Also, proving our worth to the world and seeking external validation may well come from child abuse. The type of treatment which we endured for years as children. Verbal, emotional and physical abuse which made us believe we were worthless and unloveable.
Emerald please try to make much shorter videos 10 to 15 minutes max and still deliver as densely and with as much quality as in your current videos. Thanks so much.
What you say is very true. However, I've got the feeling that the deeper points you made from 15:57 on were not really taken to the end. You know, all of those identifications and attachments you named refer to a person, which itself is merely a mental construct we identify with. So wouldn't this imply that it's gonna be much more efficient just to let go of this central identity? We don't need to disentangle all those complicated associations of storys attached to the person, because if we recognize we are not the person, none of them is about us anymore. In fact, letting go all of the stories wouldn't be enough, since this would not automatically dissolve the basic sense of identity. I even think that an image of our person is unavoidable and a constructive image is actually very desireabe, as the view will affect our feelings, thoughts and actions in a positive way. It seems this is a potential source of confusion. There is nothing wrong with the thought that Emerald is a good person. It's only problematic if there is the impression 'I am this person Emerald.'
With this in mind I think the approach of, you know, being mindful when those stories come up to realize they are not what we really are. Unfortunatly it seems to be much more difficult to let go of the basic identification with the person, as it is more subtle than all those stories revolving around it. For me by this time it's easy to recognize that I am not a story, but when I try to grasp that mixture of body sensations and mental images at the heart of the ego, it mostly appears like this is myself. At the moment all I can do is paying attention to it. I wonder whether you have any suggestions on how to deal with this more basic false sense of self.
Oh, believe me you're not the only one who thinks this way. Pretty much spot on and on point with my own mind space. Now im beginning to realize that the more I think I understand the more clueless I know I really am.
You speak against one assuming constantly a certain role . But why ?! If one is macho, shouldn't one constantly act as macho ?!😟😘
Good presentation. But on the one hand following the buddhist philophy you deny the existence of the self, and on the other hand you speak about your experience of ego transcendence in terms of I and me.
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Having an identity is not too bad according to me. If I didn’t have a positive self image based on some positive identity, I would imagine life might be difficult for me
I know this doesn't help in your detachment process, but it looks like you've hit all of your identifications to me.
Identity/self/individuality is all a big joke created by humans.
8:00, 9:00, 12:50, 17:00, 20:40, 22:00!
I needed to listen to this one today.
I have those same attachments Emerald lol.It's the intelligence thing though that I struggle with the most....i've built myself to be this intelligent guy.I have some grandiose goals too,like becoming an international chess master,traveling the world playing in tournaments and seducing a lot of women lol,similar to your "mysterious woman" fantasy.:) And being a brilliant writer,a lot of things.And I have this strange attachment to being poor,I grew up poor and even had a bout with homelesness,it's hard to shake this one off. :(
But don't worry,you're definitely all those three things (beatiful,smart and good) :) Looking forward to the collabs :)
I have the poor one too. I struggled through college and even had a bout with homelessness myself where I was a street musician for a time. My judgments relative to this are "I was able to pull myself up by my bootstraps and get through college with honors and everyone else's parents payed the way. I know a lot more about the world because I'm poor. People with money are really out of touch and are totally spoiled. They don't know what it's like. They wouldn't be able to hack it. But I'm also more worldly and educated than the poor folks from my hometown because I had the sense and determination to get through college. They are resigned to their poverty but I am not... because I'm..." This one I'm trying to let go of still and it's one of the micro-attachments that I have to being a high achiever or competent/worldly in ways that others are not. I think it's why I still have financial struggles because to have money undermines part of my identity. Thank you for always watching my videos and commenting. :D
what childhood unconcious memories can be responsible for any current identies.
Emerald walks the talk...nakedly. I wish you my best.🙏
So, you can't have identification without the contrast of other's behaviors or activities?
I am loving your videos, and I want to share them, but I think that you should make a video that has language everyone can understand, and in a way that people won't have any pre-conceptions. You should make a video like, "7 simple psychology principles to help enjoy life better." or something like that. My first experience with psychology was my first semester of college in a general ed class, and this super awkward lady kept talking about her sex life with her husband, and all I remember about Frued was that it was all about sex, and so I spend the whole class with my head down trying to sleep in the back of the class. The word ego became a sort of trigger for me. I associated chakras with free lovers too, and any person I heard say they had been enlightened or transcended anything, I just thought they were delusional. Now, at 29 through a quote a stumbled upon by Jung I realized that I had been making the same journey, I just called things by different labels. You are the first person that has said they had an ego transcendence, and my first thought was, "yeah, I can tell." So congrats. Seriously, how you actually share real things you are working on, shows you don't fear your shadow. That alone is very impressive, and on top of that you understand the ideas at play enough to concisely explain them. So yeah, if you could do a video for a general audience, with a more ted-talk kind of nuetrality look to it, not that I am all for ted talks, but the one by Brene brown on vulnerability was very sharable, and so it was very successful. Thanks for all you do.
To say life has no meaning its an absolute and bold statement to make.
I should have watched this before reading a new earth but eckhart tolle.. the end made sense
Thank you for posting this video. I know I'm going in the right direction and this video genuinely kept me on track. I've been attached to a person for over a year now and even though they reciprocate, they are moving away out of their control. I always tell myself, I will choose happiness NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS --- but I need that to be true, and that starts with disidentifying myself from him. I'm really working on to be HAPPY even if I never see him again. If it's meant to be it'll happen for us one day. If anybody would be so kind to give me some spiritual input or advice I would greatly appreciate it.
Hey there, how are you doing today ?
it's a video for daily watching! thank you so much
The best cocktail to value any attachment is detachment and life!
I love this channel. You are helping me alot. Thank you!
You're welcome! :D I'm glad to hear it.
Thank you. I will be practicing this.
how did you disidentify from these identities?
Thanks for your videos, Emerald. I've been struggling with these issues for a while now and the stuff you talk about really hit the spot.
You're welcome. I'm glad to hear that it's been helpful. :)
I love that I paint and come here for this amazing info
Have you ever interacted with the Liberation Unleashed forums? I think you would find them interesting. Simply put, It's a free guided practiced of looking at identity and the I with a community of guides and seekers. Thanks for sharing.
I have not but thank you for the recommendation! :D
To do something just for the sake of doing it is where to find joy.
But WHO is going to have no attachments or identifications? Awareness? If there is such a thing as awareness, then it's already pure and doesn't care what's happening. But lately I've been wondering if there is no awareness or consciousness. There is just what's happening. What a mystery!
It definitely is a mystery. :D I think these are valuable questions to ask. But I do think it's possible to have no attachment and identifications, in light of what I've experienced before.
Emerald the good person, yep. Emerald the intelligent young woman, no doubt. Emerald the beautifull lady, absolutely right. Emerald the one has clear to understand videos, the one is posting only very interesting things we all should be listen to, has helped me to understand better people and their behaviors and therefore allowed me to help them as well, a person I don’t know but have learned to love her videos and herself. Emerald the one I want to say a big Thank Yooouuuu...Tony here from Brazil.
You're welcome and thank you as well for the words of encouragement!
People who experience trauma are encouraged to identify themselves as "survivors" rather than "victims". Do you think that this kind of identification is healthy in an operational sense? Or should they rather be told something like, "you are not defined at all by what happened to you". Thanks.
Given the choice between the two, I think that it's better to identify yourself as a survivor and not a victim. But I also think that to identify yourself with that event at all beyond the initial stages of healing, will ultimately cause issues and impede healing down the line. I think it's best to eventually come to the conclusion, "This could have happened to anyone. It was just by happenstance that I ended up in this situation. It means nothing about me as an individual." That way, there is not attachment to the identity at all. This is an important step in healing.
PERFECCTIIOONN
you are a lovely wise girl perfect.... hope my beutifull son find a younge women just like you... bless you
Thank you. :)
Funny how this comment exactly fed into reinforcement of the identifications she said she's working hard to get rid of. Shows how hard the process of letting go really is, with little pieces of social validations such as this that come with the stories that we want to put forth to the world.
I have the same attachments as you. I think a lot of women have these. I think movies and tv sort of promote these attachments. What do you think about that?
I think the media has a lot to do with it, for sure. I was in Walgreens the other day and I started counting the number of beautiful women that I saw in advertisements as I walked to the pharmacy. And in the course of 20 seconds I counted 5. You just get so immersed in it that it sneakily seeps into your value structure.