I think she nails it here. Flexible, adaptable, not taking things too personally or seriously. Not realizing others can misspeak or make a mistake. She means rigid people who can't flex their mind to see that something may not be what it seems. These people won't give a chance, you cannot talk much to them if at all.
@@MsZephyra What? I’m totally inflexible about child molestation being bad. If you people are flexible about that, you legit have mental issues. There are some morals that we should not be flexible on. You kids need to grow up.
Totally true. It is because mentally healthy people feel safe within themselves, which then results in a wider comfort zone. And that is what leads to flexibility.
My son, whom I adopted over 10 years ago, is the most resilient, enthusiastic, mentally flexible person I know. He is almost always ready to travel, try new food, enjoy new experiences and games. He can solve certain problems in a fresh way. He's very autistic and has learning challenges, so academically he has had to be held back quite a bit. He's such a great kid, but not many people get to see him that way.
Seems to me that autistic children have a broader type of thinking, never fitting one mold and alwa.ys thinking outside of the box. Very sweet and cool!
Hugs to Your son for being the most genuine and lovable person . God bless him always ❤️ Read dr Eric Berg on Autism and other videos .on Gut Bacteria and poop test to detect the microbiome in the gut.. My son has ocd and adhd . M.reading on the videos on the topics myself . Vit B1 Benfotiamine the fat soluble version of vit B1 and NOT water soluble vit B1 Vit B2 Vit B6 Vit B9 ..(folate NOT folic acid ) Vit B12. Magensium,BUTYRATE from clarified butter as brain needs fat for fuel, Vit D . Also increase the good Gut bacteria. Reduce/ clear the glutamate in the brain. Increase the glycine thro foods Exercise .
I totally agree! For some unknown reason I have always felt like the ability to be flexible was such an important life skill. I tried to raise my kids with flexibility over rigid rules, carved in stone. I never connected it with mental health but looking at past relationships I can see it so clearly.
DR. RAMNI= unique,fair but firm,no time for games,or sugar coat a DEADLY CATASTROPHIC TOPIC.She respects,but "No people please",nor b.s. etc.. One Narcissist,or malignant narcisst can wipe out an entire island, just like 1 Gorilla😂can if given the slightest power. She's diverse, NORMAL, Compassionate, LOGICAL, creative enough where ALL LEVELS,walk of life understand narcissism. If they don't,who cares? COVERT narc usually don't understand. They just wants2 stop her MISSION🥴.Too late!It's in her blood& mine too! Imagine the BIG PSYCHO -words she uses with her colleague?Glad I don't have2 hear it!! She speaks laymen terms,to the point! Ex. RUN🏃!& I AGREE🥵!!
@@Cindyyy768 No one actually knows what’s going on with others - who knows- they might hide the inner chaos well - just try to do what is in your best interest & what you can control (which is only your reactions). You can do this
I freak out but can scrape myself together quickly. I’ve suffered through a lot of trauma in my life, but I’ve also gone through a lot of therapy with MFC counseling too. I literally have a minor in psychology/ therapy if you add up all the classes I’ve taken for my AA/BS & 2 Masters degrees. These coursework have served me well. I also appreciate the content available on UA-cam. It’s a valuable way to listen to various therapists and counselors to help you through the rough spots we all go through in life. Being able to listen to multiple experts is helpful to have a better understanding of gaining coping skills and to figure out what is impotent and what just needs to be let go of.
@@sthefanimattos654actually nobody is born with such a brain. We all learn over time. Some faster some slower. Some through self experienced and others through experiences of others.
but people who promote humility are generally promoting a lack of self confidence rather than actual humility. That's why it becomes problematic - others cannot define your humility for you ie. religious institutions.
I’ve been through severe trauma. I was sexually abused growing up, I lost my both parents at age of 11, at 12 I was given to a stranger family to be their housekeeper and look after the children who were my age. I have survived and I’m doing well in life, I have an amazing life that I create for myself. Don’t ever feel like you are a victim.
I am reminded of D&C 121: My [daughter], peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high.
That is so well put. As I get older and have help in my life I realize how inflexible I am mentally - I have to challenge myself, be aware, and adapt when my instincts are to be rigid. It’s a struggle.
@@eatnplaytoday Being self-aware and mentally ill simultaneously is honestly brutal. I wish I could be screaming at pigeons in the park, but I’m painfully aware of my shortcomings. I just don’t know how to fix them. I feel too flexible some days.
This statement is so true! When I was a young girl I hated change, bc that was what my life was every day - never knowing from one minute to the next what would happen. In order to create a safe space I worried about everything which led to isolation. One summer, as an adult, it was storming - a tornado touched down less than a quarter mile from my home. I was mesmerized - realizing that if it was my time I would not make it through. After that experience, I knew that I could deal with whatever comes my way. As I grew older, I was able to handle change by reframing it as a challenge. Also, age/time has a way of giving one grace to handle obstacles. Love your UA-cam channel ❤️
hello you were helped. god is everywhere. he can appear almost anything. when god showed himself to me, it was a vision of a ginormous hand coming from the sky in the forest. it was a helping hand.
I was traumatized by my father for almost 2 decades. My brother picked up where my dad left off. Divorce my husband within 11 months because he was physically abusive. The whole time I was able to bend. I was never broken.❤ I thank God every day for that
I have seen some interviews with her and I think she is so knowledgeable, but Jay really is good here. He asks the right questions at the right time to allow her to shine and share her wisdom. Great pairing!
I agree with you. He’s an excellent interviewer, right? He allows his guests to speak freely & he asks insightful questions at the appropriate time. It’s a hard trait to master!
Yeah he is learning everything he can so he can put it in his courses and pretend that he thought of it himself . The man has nothing if he doesn't have an amazing attention span and the ability to adapt and steal .
I have had trouble having conversations or interacting the same as a regular person since I was a little kid, I don’t feel like I need to control anything.
I notice I'm more rigid when I'm not well, when my anxiety & ibs are acting up. But when I'm feeling better I'm more open and flexible. Anxiety does that to the brain
That's true I also noticed when I'm off my meds I tend to hold onto a negative experience longer. I can still get my emotion out and let it go it just needs longer to vent it out 😅
SecretStolen. Please try L-Theanine. It's a supplement with a compound found in way lower doses in tea that is calming. However, tea also has caffeine which is what you dont want, so avoid real tea. High dose L-theanine works in 10 mins and anxiety greatly, graetly reduces
By the way, you basically described me..i also have IBS (and likely histamine intolerance) ...stiff muscles also cause anxiety so a bath with magnesium chloride is really helpful. Both greatly helped my life. Do your muscles feel tense or relaxed?
Was thinking the same thing- i have chronic illness. When flaring I’m not nearly as adaptable. But here’s the cool thing with the psyche- PART of flexibility is being able to handle illness with grace, too- and not beat up or guilt yourself for not being at your best.
Thank you for explaining how I’m not in a mental institution after growing up with an extremely narcissistic, physically and emotionally abusive, alcoholic mother. I overcame my childhood, my own drug and alcohol abuse, and fringe mental illness to recover from it all, go to college and excel in my chosen field. It took many years of perseverance - but I made it! I’m happy, healthy and living a good life now, by God’s grace! ❤
Like bamboo. You won't see it grow for the first few years and then it shoots up, It's incredibly resilient, flexible & beautiful. I'm on a very similar path - It wasn't easy for sure... By all statistics I should have been a stripper or worse but I had other plans & I'm grateful everyday for the life that I'm living ❤❤❤ blessing on blessings friends
Amen sister 🙏 me too. Went through absolute hell as a child and then developed a very scary systematic disease that literally took me to hell but I healed by healing my trauma and being so freaking determined to live a good life and give my kids a better life. ❤ We do recover ❤
Facts!❤ I learned as a child going through family trauma and losses to the last one standing How many times I bend and sway to flow with the wind / life. I been told many times how easy I can Blind in and adjust to many environments And situations. That’s life! You get lemons you make lemons aid 😊 I am grateful and bless .
She, her videos, her books!!! Everything she explains has a deep touch of internal strength and the struggles she has faced! The understanding she holds is brilliant! She saved me from a very dark situation Love you ❤
Dr. Ramani changed my life for the rest of my life. Stumbling onto her and watching a ton of her videos turned me into someone I didn't know I could be. She is truly changing the world❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Wow!!! This is so powerful!!! Put it to the test! The more flexible someone is in its communication without wanting to control or criticize everything you do or say it’s more healthy to have any type of relationship with-if it’s the contrary -> there is the red flag! Move on to those who are flexible, have healthy boundaries and are responsible without being critical and antagonistic in every situation 👍🏻
That’s fine ,what if you are flexible enough to take people criticism but the same people are not flexible enough to take it back from you. Then they will call you horrible person forgetting that they did the same to you the only difference is you managed to deal with it
@@ifnotnowthenwhen9063👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 just left a friend like that. I mean.. she lost lots of friends. We found out that she is narcissist level hard. Everybody(that had more education and family base) noticed within months that something was wrong with her behavior but I took almost 5 years to learn and then the courage to leave her and all others . I won’t accept anymore never! I rather die than accept being mistreated by anyone!! Just I know how much I have been through in this life to help others to grow and to copy me, I won’t accept motherfuckers to come again to use my empathy and genuine interest in help! For now Fyck them all, even members of family if necessary
This is the very basis of Darwin's "Survival of the Fittest" theory. It wasn't necessarily about being the fastest, strongest or most lethal. The core tenant of his work was that, it is the most ADAPTABLE that go on to survive & thrive. 👍
@@gregdee9085 No, not necessarily. In fact, sometimes it can be quite the opposite. I have a Behavioural Science (Psychology) degree, so I'm not being a troll or anything like that, I swear. Whilst yes, IQ can indeed be a useful tool with creative problem solving (a measure of adaptability), this is not ALWAYS the case. Many people with Aspergers Syndrome (or similar high-masking ASD traits) for example, can be quite intelligent, but yet EXTREMELY rigid & inflexible. Same goes with OCPD too. The thing about rigidity is, that it can often have multiple origins, irrespective of intelligence levels. Two notable example of this are a highly critical parental style & a prolonged history of trauma. This can result in pathologically rigid perfectionism, for example, as a maladaptive overcompensating coping strategy. Trust me. Not only is there plenty of clinical & empirical data in support of this, but I can attest to this personally. I was raised by a mother with undiagnosed OCPD with comorbid moderate grandiose narcissistic traits, plus I meet several specifically defined ACEs (adverse childhood experiences) & suffer from CPTSD as a byproduct of many highly traumatic events. Despite always been regarded as being highly intelligent by my peers & superiors, I am crippled by pathologically rigid perfectionism, social anxiety & depression, as I overcompensate for a highly critical, devaluing mother, with unattainably high rigid standards, & a strong belief that there is only ONE correct way of doing things. And even when you get that right, she will gaslight you & say you didn't or then lie about what her requirements were in the 1st place. Thing is, she's not evil or anything like that. It's just that she's carrying around the demons of her own childhood (intergenerational trauma), but lacks the self-reflective capacity (due to the underlying narcissism) to recognize & do anything about this. So trust me when I say, rigidity can override intelligence (as a trauma response) when a challenging childhood results in distorted negative perceptions of self, or alternatively, when some other underlying condition is at play (such as ASD). BTW, sorry about the long rant, must just be one of those days, I guess.
Definitely part of it ❣️ Holding grudges, holding on to insults and slights, uses up a LOT of energy... Forgive and move on. We're not likely to change people who hurt us physically and emotionally, and they surely don't care about us. Make room in our lives for good things.
100% true. i have anxiety and one thing ive learned is to just surrender control. let go of attaching urself to a person, result, or expectation. it’s hard but once u do it, u realize that the reality is not as bad as the thought if that makes sense lol
I used to try to apply this kind if advice to expand myself on my healing journey and it caused me more trauma until I learned that I was Neurodiverse and realised that in order for me to have flexibility around others, I NEED a good amount of rigidity for myself in my personal space. Just wanted to throw this out there because this advice is wonderful for Neurotypical people but not necessarily for ND people.
Maybe just firm boundaries and routines, but an awareness of the need for flexibility when things don’t go as expected. I need a lot of down time to process in order to offer that flexibility to others.
fr i feel that way too, especially when you know that forcing yourselfto beflexible around certain situations or people will basically just absolutely burn you out because you're not built to navigate that. My first reaction to this video was thinking that I am not flexible person but seeing your comment reminded me why :')
I think knowing when to be inflexible is important. Flexible trees might not break but they will uproot and can uproot other trees around them in high wind areas. They can tap on power lines that aren't near them. Hardwoods that bend some but don't overly bend get bigger, wider bases, grow from solid foundations, frequently slower than many flexible trees. They provide cover and habitat for creatures, better more stable nesting areas, frequently thicker branches, etc. they grow in bigger groups to protect each other and all the animals they house from the wind. We need both types of people to thrive and survive. This speaker is just showing another way to not see that pushing us nd as "broken" and "not healthy" isn't good for society at large. What I lack in flexibility in certain things I make up for in passion, conviction, and strength my nt counter parts often lack. Because to be overly flexible lacks standing to morals. It's one thing to not be rigid and stick to one solution and another to try so many solutions even if they hurt people or aren't efficient or bad solutions. Neither is a great place to live in extremes. But some of us are wired to live in one more extreme and we provide value too. We are only unhealthy when we try to be overly flexible to people who are never strong enough to be a secure place to land and will be flexible and find a new person and leave behind broken and never thanking you for bending so far you broke, even if it's not as far as they can bend.
Ive been working on my mental health for years, and in lots of ways, I've gotten much better. I have a long way to go. My flexibility for changing situations has gotten much better, however, for objects, not so much. Today, i lost a scrunchy (at the hospital, I think, so probably not getting it back), and i cried for about 30 minutes.
This is the Best advice to describe mental health OMG I love this woman she helps you to understand how to deal with these demon possessed narcs behaviors!!!
Resilience and adaptability is a neuropsych skill that is naturally developed, but then honed by epigenetics. Higher Hippocampal levels seem to dictate one’s ability to adapt, cope, preserve, problem solve.
Sometimes it gets tiring though. Especially if you are used to these situations then you subconsciously find comfort in attracting more of these situations and it gets tiring.
@@rpmmoth712boundaries my friend, that doesn’t make you inflexible or less resilient but it helps you break the cycle of toxic relationships. Coming from someone in trauma recovery, it gets less exhausting the more you heal and move through it and get solid foundations for your boundaries. Tell yourself “I love you” every day, you deserve it.
Oh SNAP! This makes total sense to me now. When I get stuck/upset/anxious, I HAVE to move my body to feel better. Literally, movement and sunshine help tremendously. Wowza
Yes. I, the supposedly "crazy one" in the family because I went out into the world & had experiences, have truly proven myself in middle age to be a most understanding & empathetic person . Our flexibility of mind & life attitude is despised at times until we are needed & it is we whom they turn to for understanding.
Yes, you are the one chosen to break the generational curse in your family. It requires strength, empath, being unconditional and even forgiving. I am sure you are doing a great job. Of course you left. You had to. But when they cannot cope, you come back to help them out, don't you ? Are they grateful ? Of course not. The poor things live on a lower vibe. Just continue to have faith in your passage on this earth and surrender up what is too heavy to bear. Keep occupied in your progression. You are loved. And protected. 🙏❤️
@@jeanannedupratt7075 Thank you Jeananne , you summed it up beautifully. I see you too have lived to develop wisdom & compassion, I appreciate your kind words, its lovely of you to take the time. Greetings 💚☘
@@FIONA21fulLife is so precious Fiona. We go through it committing to learn as eternal students of this Universe. Leading with the heart is good. As is knowing when to walk away, no matter how hard it feels. I am grateful for what I am today at 71, for what I have by way of health, three grown children, memories of my two husbands who did their best as partners and I am especially grateful that I find other people like you over Facebook who are not afraid nor ashamed to reach out and say their piece. Be Blessed. Trust your gut, Love. It guides us well.
Agree!!!! I wanted to do many things in a day and felt there was no way because I was dependent on other people also and I thought whats the worst that could happen? Well maybe ill have to do things the next weekend, others monday maybe tuesday and I relaxed and guess what I did them all. I felt that because I released control I was able to let in the solutions. Felt wonderful!!!! Even did other things.
This woman is beyond wise…this so true and real I wish I heard it when I was a new born….many of my life problems happened cause I lacked flexibility….flexibility with my own desires and mistakes…flexibility with others identities and choices…the more I heal the more adaptive I get the harder it gets to shake me from within…
AMEN. I may be traumatized and mentally ill but I am FLEXIBLE which makes me appear healthy, and appearances are all that matter. Ask anyone who’s around me
@@TangerineHorizonsTruthfully, I think modern society is full of narcissistic personalities & everyone has some traits. Hopefully she's able to see those qualities in everyone, without labeling them each a narcissist
I agree and disagree with her sentiment. I agree with flexibility in the sense of exploring personal growth, willingness to take accountability rejecting bad habits, and willingness to take tiny steps to heal. Flexibility can at the same time be misguided and can then turn into being too agreeable, a people pleaser. Too much causes a dangerous imbalance, there needs to be healthy boundaries established otherwise it can lead people through abusive, traumatic, unhealthy environments. Too much flexibility can cause someone to lose sight also of their identity believing a lie that they need to be someone they're not in order to be loved, and rather explore a balance between flexibility, boundaries, and even self-love. All of which are so vital!!
A "people-pleaser" is not flexible. They do one thing, which is let other people's desires predominate, and this is because they lack the capacity to handle conflict. People-pleasing is still a "singular solution" to a difference in desires/perspective. They are only seen as flexible and agreeable to others, yet their lack of self-acceptance and inability to hold boundaries and come to an honest dialogue with others means what they are actually doing is similar to those who cannot accommodate other people's perspective - they just refuse to accommodate their own.
Where u disagreed with her had nothing to do with what she said. With most things in life there needs to be balance anyway so someone being too agreeable or being a “people pleaser” is on the extreme and opposite end of flexibility, which is still inflexible.
wow I have never heard this before; flexibility! adaptability, self-awareness, awareness of others, the ability problem solvinig; to self-soothe, self-regulate!! SO good. Coping mechanisms...
She articulated it poignantly. I’ve had the same revelations recently. More specifically the fact that if i don’t unconditionally forgive, accept, love, care and stay aware of myself and everything that bothers me, i cannot have any lasting sense of peace in me. I’ve learned that harshness is never the way towards oneself, you swap harshness for understanding, no matter how agonizing it is. It’s absolutelt crucial.
Thank u for this. U just described exactly how i am at least these days. I was with a narcissist who made me feel narcissistic sometimes but after shutting her out ive been better I dont feel like shes the only one who thinks im good enough, im actually well intergrated in my new community and Im more in control of my emotions and i am much more self aware of my emotions and regulating them based on soumd logic. Im more confident in myself and very happy my doubts about being a narc are no more
This makes me feel better about what Ive been through. Ive endured tremendous trauma and yet, Im still here as hopeful and bubbly as ever. A little more reserved but still kickin lol
I have overcome so many challenges and I think this is precise what has helped me. I am solution oriented. In every situation I immediately think what's the remedy? and don't dwell on the "problem". Like Wayne Dyer said, problems are an illusion and I stick to that. Carl Jung famously said, “The only way out is through” so its in those situations where you stand like a palm tree in the midst of adversity. Having that heart/brain coherence where you feel you've done the right thing and still things apparently aren't going as you wanted I remind myself of Neville,s wise words, "What I have done I have done, do nothing" and remain trusting my intuition through the whole process until I get to the other side. I remember times saying, I don't understand, I don't see anything working out or any possible solution, but I trust you God/Universe and its wonderful when you reep from what you've sown.
yes, but I think a "short" falls short. Many may APPEAR, resilient, as I did.....until I crashed and burned physically due to my 3 healing professional jobs, chronic stress in my family, after decades of abuse - I was constantly praised for my resilience..until I fell...a...part. So, I don't think it's all that simple.
I know for myself that she's absolutely right about this. When I've gone through more challenging times with my own mental health, I can definitely feel myself becoming more controlling and less flexible. I get more rigid and stuck like she described. I'm glad she shared this observation. I'm sure it will help a lot of people with their own mental health, and help them in noticing changes in the mental health of people they care about.
Self regulate and self sooth IN A HEALTHY WAY (substances are not the answer -a drug prescribed for limited time only to save a physical life may be the only exception!!). I guide people safely out of addictions they got in to selfsoothe and cope with their feelings. With blessings Rev.M
I love this lady, Sending her blessings. So many people have been raised by narcissists, had them in their families and then unknowingly go on to date or marry narcs. You think the behavior is just how some people are because you don’t know any better. I love the education and awareness she provides.
When we’re depressed and anxious, we become so fixed and rigid. Something I’ve noticed over the years, she is spot on here. Happy people just naturally flow with life pretty effortlessly. The main thing is their self-identity is flexible. They are comfortable, willing and able to have a flowing identity which ultimately serves them
One thing mental illness often takes away is your ability to be flexible and adapt. I have panic disorder, and I think about this all the time, how inflexible it's made me in life.
This is the best visual I've ever heard of I've struggled with mental illness my entire life and have searched everywhere for what seamlessly illustrates mental healthiness the best in summary and this is hands down the single best simplistic explanation of understanding. It makes complete sense! Now I actually have a tangible goal for what to go after in treatment. The more flexible my mentality is and the more adapted I am to various environments and responding with accountability and multiple solutions and not rigid or fixed the healthier ill know I am in a measurable way! I'm sick of people using income level or weight management as the be all end all signs of mental health because there are extremely hard working and in shape people who are seriously mentally unstable out there! American Psycho anyone?!
This makes so much sense ! I have often been told, that I need to be strict towards one direction. But my inner wisdom always told me to be flexible and understand all behaviours but build my boundaries within that system. I think that mixture is key ❤
I have never really understood this, finally someone who explains it really well!! A sound mental health is being flexible and adaptable. Thank you so much for the clarity!!
It goes both ways 😊 The more flexible our body is, the more flexible our mind becomes. And viceversa. They are both in constant communication. When I am meeting someone I know I will have a difficult conversation with, I take some time to do some stretching, mobility training, dance, animal moves (Animal Flow)...
The best thing is you can learn this skill. I'm learning it currently and I've come a long way. Things that would have previously pushed my life into chaos for weeks are now just irritating situations that I forget about in a day or two, sometimes within few hours.
The core of mental health is flexibility. So physical flexibility is adaptability which becomes metaphorically represented mentally. The less healthy the personality the less flexible the person. If a tree is flexible it can bend in the wind. Remember those wise, intelligent words ❤
Absolutely true, and due to neuro plasticity, everyone has the ability to become mentally flexible. Regular stretching and yoga is good for the joints and body- mental stretching and mental yoga is good for your mental health and every area of your life~ good nutrition, hydration, and good sleep will make a big difference in brain function. A healthy curiosity to explore new ideas, and the wisdom and security to know that exploring new ideas doesn’t threaten your identity will take you far if you can master this skill. Every relationship in your life will improve if you can have patience and mental flexibility.
Fabulous answer to a complicated question of “how to self soothe!” I joined a fitness club so I am around people all dedicated to staying in shape and to meet new people, I make sure to visit my adult daughters and granddaughters regularly and walk our family dog that lives with them, , I spend time out in nature so I can have quiet time for contemplation and enjoy nature and I spend time alone so I can rest & rejuvenate myself. It’s all about balancing and that ratio of balanced time changes as we go through different stages in our life.
I deal with a covert narcissist, who is extraordinarily interested in taking care of everybody’s needs in order to meet their own needs. On the outside it looks like they’re an extraordinarily flexible person because of their people pleasing skills. Their people pleasing skills are extremely unhealthy and leaves them secretly bitter and resentful towards others, but they spend a lot of time hiding their anger and resentment. I on the other hand, have extremely firm boundaries and know when to say no to certain engagements. To the outside world, it looks like this other individual is extremely flexible, healthy, caring of others, and me, by comparison looks the opposite. So this information to me doesn’t fit everybody’s mold. This has been the first time I have ever heard any information by Dr. Ramani that I don’t agree with. All of her material has been so amazing and so helpful over the last four years that I’ve been listening to her.
There is a great saying: Those who cannot bend, break.
excellent
That is a song lyric, the song is Buildings and Bridges by Ani Difranco.
Sometimes, if you bend too far, you're already broken.
@@aaronbrutus2654 all truth.
That's why most of the coconut trees don't break when there's storm or hurricane
“To self-soothe and self-regulate” speaks volumes. When one is capable of self-soothing, you have accomplished independence & freedom 🎉
Gotta be your own best friend at the end of the day.
@@queenofthebutterflies5212 I agree. Also, being kind to yourself helps with self acceptance/self confidence, compassion, and being yourself!
Amen!😊
She just described my mental state but i also have the most sick and unhinged thought
Yes 💯
I think she nails it here. Flexible, adaptable, not taking things too personally or seriously. Not realizing others can misspeak or make a mistake. She means rigid people who can't flex their mind to see that something may not be what it seems. These people won't give a chance, you cannot talk much to them if at all.
Wow the way you express this really nails it...
They are very controlling
@@MsZephyra What?
I’m totally inflexible about child molestation being bad. If you people are flexible about that, you legit have mental issues.
There are some morals that we should not be flexible on.
You kids need to grow up.
She's brilliant
On point
Darwin even said that the most intelligent will not survive, the strongest will not survive, but the ones that are most adaptable to change.
So true!
Perfect reference.
He was racist
Totally true. It is because mentally healthy people feel safe within themselves, which then results in a wider comfort zone. And that is what leads to flexibility.
Eloquent and knowledgeable
Absolutely hit it on the head with that one!
Introverts= everything they need is already within them.
I'm a 40 Year Survivor of Human Trafficking. I never thought of this before. Thank you.
I'm so sorry you went through that. I hope you're in a better place now.
Wow! God bless you! May He heal you in every part of your being.
Q❤❤she the best
I’m so sorry you went through such a thing! I really hope you’re coping and doing better ❤
🫂 ❤ praying for your continued healing🙏🏽🫶🏽🙌🏽👏🏼 proud of you, my beautiful sister.
My son, whom I adopted over 10 years ago, is the most resilient, enthusiastic, mentally flexible person I know. He is almost always ready to travel, try new food, enjoy new experiences and games. He can solve certain problems in a fresh way. He's very autistic and has learning challenges, so academically he has had to be held back quite a bit. He's such a great kid, but not many people get to see him that way.
Autistic children are some of the most pure precious souls on this planet.
Seems to me that autistic children have a broader type of thinking, never fitting one mold and alwa.ys thinking outside of the box. Very sweet and cool!
Wonderful
You're blessed and so is he coz he's got you!
Hugs to Your son for being the most genuine and lovable person . God bless him always ❤️
Read dr Eric Berg on Autism and other videos .on Gut Bacteria and poop test to detect the microbiome in the gut.. My son has ocd and adhd . M.reading on the videos on the topics myself .
Vit B1 Benfotiamine the fat soluble version of vit B1 and NOT water soluble vit B1
Vit B2
Vit B6
Vit B9 ..(folate NOT folic acid )
Vit B12.
Magensium,BUTYRATE from clarified butter as brain needs fat for fuel,
Vit D .
Also increase the good Gut bacteria.
Reduce/ clear the glutamate in the brain.
Increase the glycine thro foods
Exercise .
The BEST explanation of mental health I’ve ever heard. Really glad to know this, it helps me put things into perspective.
I totally agree! For some unknown reason I have always felt like the ability to be flexible was such an important life skill. I tried to raise my kids with flexibility over rigid rules, carved in stone. I never connected it with mental health but looking at past relationships I can see it so clearly.
same gosh so glad it popped up
I agree, especially comparing to physical health, it makes so much sense.
You are totally on the mark. Broadcast it some more and give people their soul parts back. They need to be whole again. Let them sing.
I admire how articulate she is.
same
She;s a garbage lawyer. She articulates for a living.
@@nahlabella4857 huh
DR. RAMNI= unique,fair but firm,no time for games,or sugar coat a DEADLY CATASTROPHIC TOPIC.She respects,but "No people please",nor b.s. etc.. One Narcissist,or malignant narcisst can wipe out an entire island,
just like 1 Gorilla😂can if given the slightest power. She's diverse, NORMAL,
Compassionate, LOGICAL,
creative enough where ALL LEVELS,walk of life understand narcissism. If they don't,who cares? COVERT narc usually don't understand. They just wants2 stop her MISSION🥴.Too late!It's in her blood& mine too!
Imagine the BIG PSYCHO
-words she uses with her colleague?Glad I don't have2 hear it!! She speaks laymen terms,to the point! Ex. RUN🏃!& I AGREE🥵!!
I'm easily stressed and always amazed when I witness others go with the flow and just maintain a healthy composure.
@@Cindyyy768 No one actually knows what’s going on with others - who knows- they might hide the inner chaos well - just try to do what is in your best interest & what you can control (which is only your reactions). You can do this
@@kabel7985thank u for that advice
@@kabel7985you're very kind. Thank you. I feel like I'm always stressed too, and your words helped me. ❤❤❤
I'm also easily stressed, but I bet I look very composed on the outside :))
I freak out but can scrape myself together quickly. I’ve suffered through a lot of trauma in my life, but I’ve also gone through a lot of therapy with MFC counseling too. I literally have a minor in psychology/ therapy if you add up all the classes I’ve taken for my AA/BS & 2 Masters degrees. These coursework have served me well. I also appreciate the content available on UA-cam. It’s a valuable way to listen to various therapists and counselors to help you through the rough spots we all go through in life. Being able to listen to multiple experts is helpful to have a better understanding of gaining coping skills and to figure out what is impotent and what just needs to be let go of.
Flexibility requires humility, humility requires self awareness. That flexibility creates resilience.
Yeap!
Humility is not talked about enough. Good advice to ponder.
not, it requires a neurotypical brain. Unfortunately, not every is born with this type of brain
@@sthefanimattos654actually nobody is born with such a brain.
We all learn over time. Some faster some slower.
Some through self experienced and others through experiences of others.
but people who promote humility are generally promoting a lack of self confidence rather than actual humility. That's why it becomes problematic - others cannot define your humility for you ie. religious institutions.
I’ve been through severe trauma. I was sexually abused growing up, I lost my both parents at age of 11, at 12 I was given to a stranger family to be their housekeeper and look after the children who were my age. I have survived and I’m doing well in life, I have an amazing life that I create for myself. Don’t ever feel like you are a victim.
Wow, you are strong and special! You got this! 💪🏼❤️
What helped you overcome
U r really very strong dear. May goddess Kaali protect u & bless u always🙏🙏
You’re brave & a role model. Blessings🙏🏻
I am reminded of D&C 121:
My [daughter], peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small
moment; And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high.
That is so well put. As I get older and have help in my life I realize how inflexible I am mentally - I have to challenge myself, be aware, and adapt when my instincts are to be rigid. It’s a struggle.
I think your awareness demonstrates that you are flexibility tbh. Most people aren’t even aware that they have an issue 😅
@@eatnplaytoday Being self-aware and mentally ill simultaneously is honestly brutal. I wish I could be screaming at pigeons in the park, but I’m painfully aware of my shortcomings. I just don’t know how to fix them.
I feel too flexible some days.
You are working on it, and that’s something!
I’ve noticed this in my father as well… the older her gets the less flexible he is.
This statement is so true! When I was a young girl I hated change, bc that was what my life was every day - never knowing from one minute to the next what would happen. In order to create a safe space I worried about everything which led to isolation. One summer, as an adult, it was storming - a tornado touched down less than a quarter mile from my home. I was mesmerized - realizing that if it was my time I would not make it through. After that experience, I knew that I could deal with whatever comes my way. As I grew older, I was able to handle change by reframing it as a challenge. Also, age/time has a way of giving one grace to handle obstacles. Love your UA-cam channel ❤️
hello you were helped. god is everywhere.
he can appear almost anything.
when god showed himself to me, it was a vision of a ginormous hand coming from the sky in the forest. it was a helping
hand.
I was traumatized by my father for almost 2 decades. My brother picked up where my dad left off. Divorce my husband within 11 months because he was physically abusive. The whole time I was able to bend. I was never broken.❤ I thank God every day for that
I have seen some interviews with her and I think she is so knowledgeable, but Jay really is good here. He asks the right questions at the right time to allow her to shine and share her wisdom. Great pairing!
I agree with you. He’s an excellent interviewer, right? He allows his guests to speak freely & he asks insightful questions at the appropriate time. It’s a hard trait to master!
Yeah he is learning everything he can so he can put it in his courses and pretend that he thought of it himself . The man has nothing if he doesn't have an amazing attention span and the ability to adapt and steal .
Yep! That’s why you can’t even have a conversation with some people. They are preoccupied with control and are not flexible.
Well said!
spiritually, that means..humility too :)
My mother.
This happens when people are damaged.
I have had trouble having conversations or interacting the same as a regular person since I was a little kid, I don’t feel like I need to control anything.
I notice I'm more rigid when I'm not well, when my anxiety & ibs are acting up. But when I'm feeling better I'm more open and flexible. Anxiety does that to the brain
That's true I also noticed when I'm off my meds I tend to hold onto a negative experience longer. I can still get my emotion out and let it go it just needs longer to vent it out 😅
SecretStolen. Please try L-Theanine. It's a supplement with a compound found in way lower doses in tea that is calming. However, tea also has caffeine which is what you dont want, so avoid real tea. High dose L-theanine works in 10 mins and anxiety greatly, graetly reduces
By the way, you basically described me..i also have IBS (and likely histamine intolerance) ...stiff muscles also cause anxiety so a bath with magnesium chloride is really helpful. Both greatly helped my life. Do your muscles feel tense or relaxed?
Was thinking the same thing- i have chronic illness. When flaring I’m not nearly as adaptable. But here’s the cool thing with the psyche- PART of flexibility is being able to handle illness with grace, too- and not beat up or guilt yourself for not being at your best.
Great point
She is describing EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
And to never stop learning about yourself or others! It’s been an on going journey for me
Yes absolutely
Non-flexible person = difficult person. Emotional agility is a worthy goal to set. Love ❤ to Dr. Romani for succinctly spoken insight!
Thank you for explaining how I’m not in a mental institution after growing up with an extremely narcissistic, physically and emotionally abusive, alcoholic mother. I overcame my childhood, my own drug and alcohol abuse, and fringe mental illness to recover from it all, go to college and excel in my chosen field. It took many years of perseverance - but I made it! I’m happy, healthy and living a good life now, by God’s grace! ❤
Hey I’m on the exact same path, same backstory everything, bent but not broken - very adaptable and can talk to every person I meet
@@talithajane8155 I love that! Bent, but not broken ❤️🙏🏼
Like bamboo. You won't see it grow for the first few years and then it shoots up, It's incredibly resilient, flexible & beautiful. I'm on a very similar path - It wasn't easy for sure... By all statistics I should have been a stripper or worse but I had other plans & I'm grateful everyday for the life that I'm living ❤❤❤ blessing on blessings friends
❤
Amen sister 🙏 me too. Went through absolute hell as a child and then developed a very scary systematic disease that literally took me to hell but I healed by healing my trauma and being so freaking determined to live a good life and give my kids a better life. ❤ We do recover ❤
Facts!❤
I learned as a child going through family trauma and losses to the last one standing
How many times I bend and sway to flow with the wind / life.
I been told many times how easy I can
Blind in and adjust to many environments
And situations. That’s life! You get lemons you make lemons aid 😊
I am grateful and bless .
Self soothe, self regulate and lean into your novel to solve problems ~ love this
Such a simple and concise explanation. Says it all.
Yes!!! When I'm locked into the problem I know that I'm in freeze mode, my go-to trauma response. It so helps listening to you 🥰
“Freeze mode“. I like that phrase.
This made a light bulb go off in my head about my own problem I'm stuck on & I was able to find the trauma behind it. Thanks so much for this comment
She knows what she is talking about . So True 💯💯💯💯
She, her videos, her books!!! Everything she explains has a deep touch of internal strength and the struggles she has faced! The understanding she holds is brilliant! She saved me from a very dark situation Love you ❤
I love this woman; she is intelligent and has helped so many people!
Dr. Ramani changed my life for the rest of my life. Stumbling onto her and watching a ton of her videos turned me into someone I didn't know I could be. She is truly changing the world❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Its because of Dr. Ramani that I finally escaped my brainwashing and finally left. Bless this woman. Protect her at all costs. ❤️🔥
Me too. I wonder how many thousands of people she has helped escape and heal ❤
Wow!!! This is so powerful!!! Put it to the test! The more flexible someone is in its communication without wanting to control or criticize everything you do or say it’s more healthy to have any type of relationship with-if it’s the contrary -> there is the red flag! Move on to those who are flexible, have healthy boundaries and are responsible without being critical and antagonistic in every situation 👍🏻
That’s fine ,what if you are flexible enough to take people criticism but the same people are not flexible enough to take it back from you. Then they will call you horrible person forgetting that they did the same to you the only difference is you managed to deal with it
A fair question to ask them is would they enjoy others treating them the way they set their own examples of treating others? @@ifnotnowthenwhen9063
❤❤ I'm learning so much!! I just hope they are patient with me.😊
@@ifnotnowthenwhen9063👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 just left a friend like that. I mean.. she lost lots of friends. We found out that she is narcissist level hard. Everybody(that had more education and family base) noticed within months that something was wrong with her behavior but I took almost 5 years to learn and then the courage to leave her and all others . I won’t accept anymore never! I rather die than accept being mistreated by anyone!! Just I know how much I have been through in this life to help others to grow and to copy me, I won’t accept motherfuckers to come again to use my empathy and genuine interest in help! For now Fyck them all, even members of family if necessary
Adaptability is the core of everything ❤
a key tenant of "IQ" imo...
This is the very basis of Darwin's "Survival of the Fittest" theory. It wasn't necessarily about being the fastest, strongest or most lethal. The core tenant of his work was that, it is the most ADAPTABLE that go on to survive & thrive. 👍
@@gregdee9085 No, not necessarily. In fact, sometimes it can be quite the opposite. I have a Behavioural Science (Psychology) degree, so I'm not being a troll or anything like that, I swear. Whilst yes, IQ can indeed be a useful tool with creative problem solving (a measure of adaptability), this is not ALWAYS the case. Many people with Aspergers Syndrome (or similar high-masking ASD traits) for example, can be quite intelligent, but yet EXTREMELY rigid & inflexible. Same goes with OCPD too. The thing about rigidity is, that it can often have multiple origins, irrespective of intelligence levels. Two notable example of this are a highly critical parental style & a prolonged history of trauma. This can result in pathologically rigid perfectionism, for example, as a maladaptive overcompensating coping strategy. Trust me. Not only is there plenty of clinical & empirical data in support of this, but I can attest to this personally.
I was raised by a mother with undiagnosed OCPD with comorbid moderate grandiose narcissistic traits, plus I meet several specifically defined ACEs (adverse childhood experiences) & suffer from CPTSD as a byproduct of many highly traumatic events. Despite always been regarded as being highly intelligent by my peers & superiors, I am crippled by pathologically rigid perfectionism, social anxiety & depression, as I overcompensate for a highly critical, devaluing mother, with unattainably high rigid standards, & a strong belief that there is only ONE correct way of doing things. And even when you get that right, she will gaslight you & say you didn't or then lie about what her requirements were in the 1st place. Thing is, she's not evil or anything like that. It's just that she's carrying around the demons of her own childhood (intergenerational trauma), but lacks the self-reflective capacity (due to the underlying narcissism) to recognize & do anything about this. So trust me when I say, rigidity can override intelligence (as a trauma response) when a challenging childhood results in distorted negative perceptions of self, or alternatively, when some other underlying condition is at play (such as ASD). BTW, sorry about the long rant, must just be one of those days, I guess.
I found this by learning forgiveness. True forgiveness. For myself, for others, for situations and almost anything else.
Definitely part of it ❣️
Holding grudges, holding on to insults and slights, uses up a LOT of energy... Forgive and move on. We're not likely to change people who hurt us physically and emotionally, and they surely don't care about us. Make room in our lives for good things.
100% true. i have anxiety and one thing ive learned is to just surrender control. let go of attaching urself to a person, result, or expectation. it’s hard but once u do it, u realize that the reality is not as bad as the thought if that makes sense lol
A Paradox - never make sense
The moment you do the opposite of what you want / think you need - it goes your way.
beautifully said!!!!
So true. Flexibility of thought is key to mental health
I used to try to apply this kind if advice to expand myself on my healing journey and it caused me more trauma until I learned that I was Neurodiverse and realised that in order for me to have flexibility around others, I NEED a good amount of rigidity for myself in my personal space. Just wanted to throw this out there because this advice is wonderful for Neurotypical people but not necessarily for ND people.
Fantastic point
Thank you. I was looking for something like this. I'm ND also, only recently discovered (in my 30s).
Maybe just firm boundaries and routines, but an awareness of the need for flexibility when things don’t go as expected. I need a lot of down time to process in order to offer that flexibility to others.
fr i feel that way too, especially when you know that forcing yourselfto beflexible around certain situations or people will basically just absolutely burn you out because you're not built to navigate that. My first reaction to this video was thinking that I am not flexible person but seeing your comment reminded me why :')
I think knowing when to be inflexible is important. Flexible trees might not break but they will uproot and can uproot other trees around them in high wind areas. They can tap on power lines that aren't near them. Hardwoods that bend some but don't overly bend get bigger, wider bases, grow from solid foundations, frequently slower than many flexible trees. They provide cover and habitat for creatures, better more stable nesting areas, frequently thicker branches, etc. they grow in bigger groups to protect each other and all the animals they house from the wind. We need both types of people to thrive and survive. This speaker is just showing another way to not see that pushing us nd as "broken" and "not healthy" isn't good for society at large. What I lack in flexibility in certain things I make up for in passion, conviction, and strength my nt counter parts often lack. Because to be overly flexible lacks standing to morals. It's one thing to not be rigid and stick to one solution and another to try so many solutions even if they hurt people or aren't efficient or bad solutions. Neither is a great place to live in extremes. But some of us are wired to live in one more extreme and we provide value too. We are only unhealthy when we try to be overly flexible to people who are never strong enough to be a secure place to land and will be flexible and find a new person and leave behind broken and never thanking you for bending so far you broke, even if it's not as far as they can bend.
Ive been working on my mental health for years, and in lots of ways, I've gotten much better. I have a long way to go. My flexibility for changing situations has gotten much better, however, for objects, not so much. Today, i lost a scrunchy (at the hospital, I think, so probably not getting it back), and i cried for about 30 minutes.
I love how she puts it, very intelligent perspective
I love this woman.
This is the Best advice to describe mental health OMG I love this woman she helps you to understand how to deal with these demon possessed narcs behaviors!!!
Resilience and adaptability is a neuropsych skill that is naturally developed, but then honed by epigenetics. Higher Hippocampal levels seem to dictate one’s ability to adapt, cope, preserve, problem solve.
Sometimes it gets tiring though. Especially if you are used to these situations then you subconsciously find comfort in attracting more of these situations and it gets tiring.
@@rpmmoth712 Surrender it up. It'll be taken care of. You'll see. 🙏❤️
@@jeanannedupratt7075 thank you for your kindness. Appreciate you
@@rpmmoth712boundaries my friend, that doesn’t make you inflexible or less resilient but it helps you break the cycle of toxic relationships. Coming from someone in trauma recovery, it gets less exhausting the more you heal and move through it and get solid foundations for your boundaries. Tell yourself “I love you” every day, you deserve it.
Well said
Oh SNAP! This makes total sense to me now. When I get stuck/upset/anxious, I HAVE to move my body to feel better. Literally, movement and sunshine help tremendously. Wowza
Yes!! Thought I was only one Movement and sun shine to lessen anxiety 😊
Yes. I, the supposedly "crazy one" in the family because I went out into the world & had experiences, have truly proven myself in middle age to be a most understanding & empathetic person . Our flexibility of mind & life attitude is despised at times until we are needed & it is we whom they turn to for understanding.
Yes, you are the one chosen to break the generational curse in your family. It requires strength, empath, being unconditional and even forgiving. I am sure you are doing a great job. Of course you left. You had to. But when they cannot cope, you come back to help them out, don't you ? Are they grateful ? Of course not. The poor things live on a lower vibe. Just continue to have faith in your passage on this earth and surrender up what is too heavy to bear. Keep occupied in your progression. You are loved. And protected. 🙏❤️
@@jeanannedupratt7075 Thank you Jeananne , you summed it up beautifully. I see you too have lived to develop wisdom & compassion, I appreciate your kind words, its lovely of you to take the time.
Greetings 💚☘
@@FIONA21fulLife is so precious Fiona. We go through it committing to learn as eternal students of this Universe. Leading with the heart is good. As is knowing when to walk away, no matter how hard it feels. I am grateful for what I am today at 71, for what I have by way of health, three grown children, memories of my two husbands who did their best as partners and I am especially grateful that I find other people like you over Facebook who are not afraid nor ashamed to reach out and say their piece. Be Blessed. Trust your gut, Love. It guides us well.
So enlightening I just love when we all can hear truths.🎉
THIS IS THE MOST WELL PUT DEFINITION OF MENTAL HEALTH I HAVE EVER HEARD BRAVO DR ROMENI !
Agree!!!! I wanted to do many things in a day and felt there was no way because I was dependent on other people also and I thought whats the worst that could happen? Well maybe ill have to do things the next weekend, others monday maybe tuesday and I relaxed and guess what I did them all. I felt that because I released control I was able to let in the solutions. Felt wonderful!!!! Even did other things.
This woman is beyond wise…this so true and real I wish I heard it when I was a new born….many of my life problems happened cause I lacked flexibility….flexibility with my own desires and mistakes…flexibility with others identities and choices…the more I heal the more adaptive I get the harder it gets to shake me from within…
I totally love the analogy of the psyche being flexible the healthier the mind❤
This is the most insightful thing that I have ever heard. Spent most of my life in therapy and never heard this before. Dr. Ramani is the goat.
AMEN. I may be traumatized and mentally ill but I am FLEXIBLE which makes me appear healthy, and appearances are all that matter. Ask anyone who’s around me
She’s so wise
experience + passion + her personal experience with narcissism, with a purpose to help others understand it.
The trouble is she thinks everyone around her is a narcissist. She’s smart but not wise.
Who is she?
@@TangerineHorizonsTruthfully, I think modern society is full of narcissistic personalities & everyone has some traits. Hopefully she's able to see those qualities in everyone, without labeling them each a narcissist
@@TangerineHorizons She has an entire interview where she mentions multiple times how narcissistic personality disorder is rare
I agree and disagree with her sentiment. I agree with flexibility in the sense of exploring personal growth, willingness to take accountability rejecting bad habits, and willingness to take tiny steps to heal. Flexibility can at the same time be misguided and can then turn into being too agreeable, a people pleaser. Too much causes a dangerous imbalance, there needs to be healthy boundaries established otherwise it can lead people through abusive, traumatic, unhealthy environments. Too much flexibility can cause someone to lose sight also of their identity believing a lie that they need to be someone they're not in order to be loved, and rather explore a balance between flexibility, boundaries, and even self-love. All of which are so vital!!
Well said
A "people-pleaser" is not flexible. They do one thing, which is let other people's desires predominate, and this is because they lack the capacity to handle conflict. People-pleasing is still a "singular solution" to a difference in desires/perspective.
They are only seen as flexible and agreeable to others, yet their lack of self-acceptance and inability to hold boundaries and come to an honest dialogue with others means what they are actually doing is similar to those who cannot accommodate other people's perspective - they just refuse to accommodate their own.
Where u disagreed with her had nothing to do with what she said. With most things in life there needs to be balance anyway so someone being too agreeable or being a “people pleaser” is on the extreme and opposite end of flexibility, which is still inflexible.
A people-pleaser has no ability to self-regulate, meaning they are not flexible.
I was wondering this same thing. Thank you to all the people who replied, it's very helpful.
wow I have never heard this before; flexibility! adaptability, self-awareness, awareness of others, the ability problem solvinig; to self-soothe, self-regulate!! SO good. Coping mechanisms...
She articulated it poignantly. I’ve had the same revelations recently. More specifically the fact that if i don’t unconditionally forgive, accept, love, care and stay aware of myself and everything that bothers me, i cannot have any lasting sense of peace in me. I’ve learned that harshness is never the way towards oneself, you swap harshness for understanding, no matter how agonizing it is. It’s absolutelt crucial.
Thank u for this. U just described exactly how i am at least these days. I was with a narcissist who made me feel narcissistic sometimes but after shutting her out ive been better I dont feel like shes the only one who thinks im good enough, im actually well intergrated in my new community and Im more in control of my emotions and i am much more self aware of my emotions and regulating them based on soumd logic. Im more confident in myself and very happy my doubts about being a narc are no more
This makes me feel better about what Ive been through.
Ive endured tremendous trauma and yet, Im still here as hopeful and bubbly as ever. A little more reserved but still kickin lol
I have overcome so many challenges and I think this is precise what has helped me. I am solution oriented. In every situation I immediately think what's the remedy? and don't dwell on the "problem". Like Wayne Dyer said, problems are an illusion and I stick to that. Carl Jung famously said, “The only way out is through” so its in those situations where you stand like a palm tree in the midst of adversity. Having that heart/brain coherence where you feel you've done the right thing and still things apparently aren't going as you wanted I remind myself of Neville,s wise words, "What I have done I have done, do nothing" and remain trusting my intuition through the whole process until I get to the other side. I remember times saying, I don't understand, I don't see anything working out or any possible solution, but I trust you God/Universe and its wonderful when you reep from what you've sown.
In other words: resilience
yes, but I think a "short" falls short. Many may APPEAR, resilient, as I did.....until I crashed and burned physically due to my 3 healing professional jobs, chronic stress in my family, after decades of abuse - I was constantly praised for my resilience..until I fell...a...part. So, I don't think it's all that simple.
In other words : flexibility
Resilience isn't the same thing as flexibility, although they are partly congruent
It's adaptation. It started as a survival mechanism. Humans are primed to adapt if they're healthy and smart enough to survive.
Reliance can be just stubbornness
So true. The adaptability and flexibility are what saved me from my childhood trauma.
Whenever I see or hear Gabor mate .. I feel like study tons of books for knowledge to imbibe.. this man is gem❤❤❤❤
shes so well spoken! i love dr ramani ❤
That’s exactly who I’m. I’ve always known that I’m mentally healthy 🙌🙌
Me too!
Being flexible requires you to let go of the way you thought things would / chould be.
I know for myself that she's absolutely right about this. When I've gone through more challenging times with my own mental health, I can definitely feel myself becoming more controlling and less flexible. I get more rigid and stuck like she described.
I'm glad she shared this observation. I'm sure it will help a lot of people with their own mental health, and help them in noticing changes in the mental health of people they care about.
Self regulate and self sooth IN A HEALTHY WAY (substances are not the answer -a drug prescribed for limited time only to save a physical life may be the only exception!!). I guide people safely out of addictions they got in to selfsoothe and cope with their feelings. With blessings Rev.M
I thank God that I am not a narcissist. Thank God for small favors. They don't know what Love is.
Excellent explanation of emotional/mental stability.
Wise words & makes sense! ❤
This is MINDBLOWING !!! WOW !!! Thank you Dr. D. ❤❤
I love this lady, Sending her blessings. So many people have been raised by narcissists, had them in their families and then unknowingly go on to date or marry narcs. You think the behavior is just how some people are because you don’t know any better. I love the education and awareness she provides.
Omg!! This is a golden nugget 🙏
When we’re depressed and anxious, we become so fixed and rigid. Something I’ve noticed over the years, she is spot on here.
Happy people just naturally flow with life pretty effortlessly. The main thing is their self-identity is flexible. They are comfortable, willing and able to have a flowing identity which ultimately serves them
Or their identity is fixed, like an anchor from which they can be flexible in thinking, responding, feeling, etc.
I've never thought about this but she is spot on!
One thing mental illness often takes away is your ability to be flexible and adapt. I have panic disorder, and I think about this all the time, how inflexible it's made me in life.
This is the best visual I've ever heard of I've struggled with mental illness my entire life and have searched everywhere for what seamlessly illustrates mental healthiness the best in summary and this is hands down the single best simplistic explanation of understanding. It makes complete sense! Now I actually have a tangible goal for what to go after in treatment. The more flexible my mentality is and the more adapted I am to various environments and responding with accountability and multiple solutions and not rigid or fixed the healthier ill know I am in a measurable way!
I'm sick of people using income level or weight management as the be all end all signs of mental health because there are extremely hard working and in shape people who are seriously mentally unstable out there! American Psycho anyone?!
This makes so much sense ! I have often been told, that I need to be strict towards one direction. But my inner wisdom always told me to be flexible and understand all behaviours but build my boundaries within that system. I think that mixture is key ❤
She is soo intelligent and then some! ❤
makes sooo much sense.
Omg! Yes! Thanks for saying this!!! Brilliant
I have never really understood this, finally someone who explains it really well!! A sound mental health is being flexible and adaptable. Thank you so much for the clarity!!
I know this was about mental flexibility but this clip told me to go stretch my body physically because baby it’s stiff !
Ugh, SAME...
@@ChristConvicted I do “Yoga with Adrienne” on here . She’s good !
It goes both ways 😊 The more flexible our body is, the more flexible our mind becomes. And viceversa. They are both in constant communication. When I am meeting someone I know I will have a difficult conversation with, I take some time to do some stretching, mobility training, dance, animal moves (Animal Flow)...
@@achtube85 wise !
This is beautifully succinct and truthful. Really helpful, thank you. ♡
I think I'm healthy! When I was going through my divorce, I remember telling my self, " I will bend, but zinc won't break!"
The best thing is you can learn this skill. I'm learning it currently and I've come a long way. Things that would have previously pushed my life into chaos for weeks are now just irritating situations that I forget about in a day or two, sometimes within few hours.
This is SO true!! We are catering to individual needs so much that people are not able to build flexibility.
The core of mental health is flexibility. So physical flexibility is adaptability which becomes metaphorically represented mentally. The less healthy the personality the less flexible the person. If a tree is flexible it can bend in the wind. Remember those wise, intelligent words ❤
Emotional intelligence
...or it's a trauma response where we mirror other people's personalities.
Absolutely true, and due to neuro plasticity, everyone has the ability to become mentally flexible. Regular stretching and yoga is good for the joints and body- mental stretching and mental yoga is good for your mental health and every area of your life~ good nutrition, hydration, and good sleep will make a big difference in brain function. A healthy curiosity to explore new ideas, and the wisdom and security to know that exploring new ideas doesn’t threaten your identity will take you far if you can master this skill. Every relationship in your life will improve if you can have patience and mental flexibility.
This is so insightful. Self-awareness is so important to live in peace with yourself and to make peace with others.
I LOVE this. Dr. Ramani is fantastic.
Fabulous answer to a complicated question of “how to self soothe!” I joined a fitness club so I am around people all dedicated to staying in shape and to meet new people, I make sure to visit my adult daughters and granddaughters regularly and walk our family dog that lives with them, , I spend time out in nature so I can have quiet time for contemplation and enjoy nature and I spend time alone so I can rest & rejuvenate myself. It’s all about balancing and that ratio of balanced time changes as we go through different stages in our life.
I am someone who has survived a lifetime of trauma and I am very flexible/adaptable person, so this picked me up and I really needed it ❤
She got it bang on. Resilience =/= our ability to stand firm. It is our ability to adapt
Adaptability and self respect are two different things...just making sure.
I can be flexible when people are not toxic and not trying to manipulate me and others.💯💝
You explain your personality and your own traits so very well
I deal with a covert narcissist, who is extraordinarily interested in taking care of everybody’s needs in order to meet their own needs. On the outside it looks like they’re an extraordinarily flexible person because of their people pleasing skills. Their people pleasing skills are extremely unhealthy and leaves them secretly bitter and resentful towards others, but they spend a lot of time hiding their anger and resentment. I on the other hand, have extremely firm boundaries and know when to say no to certain engagements. To the outside world, it looks like this other individual is extremely flexible, healthy, caring of others, and me, by comparison looks the opposite. So this information to me doesn’t fit everybody’s mold. This has been the first time I have ever heard any information by Dr. Ramani that I don’t agree with. All of her material has been so amazing and so helpful over the last four years that I’ve been listening to her.
Absolutely 💯 true, you've said it right ✅️...That is amazing ! Thank you for posting 🤗
This rings incredibly true. Wonderful insight!
The ability to entertain a thought without accepting it. That is true abstraction.