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Yep, learned that my ex-wife was on dating websites 3 months before she told me she wanted to divorce. And during that 3 month time frame she did the following: August- Decided to divorce me. September - got on dating websites, rented 2 storage units. October - told her sister-in law she is going to divorce me and started pack up - aka " Decluttering " the house and told me she was " pre- spring cleaning ". November - ask to have her car put in her name, mid Nov. Informed me she wants to divorce/ Discard!
@Cowboy19735 I'm so sorry you had to go through that. My ex narc did the same. It's painful but we can get through this. I wish you the best. Only settle for whay you deserve ❤️
That's what I did stood up to him I exposed him in in public he had 60 dollars I asked for a pop 2 dollars he made a public fuss wow I said you call yourself a man meanwhile I took him out for a 300 dollars but so petty
Exactly-they think we are weak-However, I thank The Lord and my parents for teaching me that I do not have to be treated disrespectful and get rid of anyone that doesn't give me respect, not honest, loyal and has no integrity!
@DIAMONDGIRL57 that's when my ex husband found his next supply and left. He knew i was no longer going to put up with the bull. Thank God he left!! He caused so much harm to me and my kids. We are well rid of him.
So true! I had to block my ex today.. It breaks my heart. All I ever wanted was for us to be good to each other and I really believed all her promises and efforts to get me back. Today I realized she’s never going to change, and that if I allow her to continue contacting me then I will continue to get hurt.
Stay strong, don't announce anything. Just do it. Block on the telephone block texting black Facebook block any people that are associated with the narcissist.
I've been writing things down and the dots are connecting more each day. I fled him on 24 April and I've been through so much emotional turmoil. It's now been three days since I cried. He's a Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist. I never saw it until a few months ago when somehow I came across it via Dr Ramani. Life was absolute hell on earth. I no longer want to close my eyes and die. When I look down the starcase, I just cannot imagine now throwing myself down just to get away from him...his tortuous, mind bending, cruelty, and the gaslighting...oh, I can't even really begin to describe the last ten years on here.
Yes! And you almost wonder why you ever even wasted an ounce of your time… But, you live & you learn & eventually MOVE ON! Gotta love it, Thank You Jesus!
Yes. That affectionate, loving person was a big fat fake. He is NOT a nice person at all. Even to his own family. It took me a long time to realize I was hanging around for who I wished he was not who he is. He has no moral compass.
Guilty of this also, it’s because ( at least for me) it’s infrequent , and time after time that little glimmer of hope would come back in my thoughts, then whammy, Blown out of the water again;(
All of it, Yes!!!! I couldn't understand what I experienced for 30yrs and once my therapist explained covert narcissist, I was overwhelmed with OMG's😮 and then you can't not see it. I used to say to myself, is he bipolar? My divorce is almost finalized and I'm no longer as sick as I was and starting my life over 🙏
I broke up with him and we 😢to gather 5years he went into a another relationship and called her hes😢wife . After 2 weeks of being with her said it was a mistake!!!😂good for him. I was hurt but now I am much better with out him.
If you feel lonely after going no contact, get out with friends. Join a group, get help these demons don’t have emotions, I think that’s what you are dealing with. I like to look at him that way instead of a toddler. He has already discarded you, and moved on to his next victim
I’ve struggled for more than 8 months thinking I’m an asshole, a narcissist. I swear every time I listen to one of these videos and Especially this one….. I’m going no contact
30 years of misery. Thank you my King Jesus Christ for saving me. Christ has returned everything she stole from me. My sanity, my health, my finances 😊
@@larrycasarez-t9o same here I’m waiting to see where the Lord wants me. HE stole everything from my youth to my health my finances- my credit. He was a loser with nothing until he sucked the life from me & my home & bank account. These types are born Con artists
May God continues to bless you; you deserve it! Narcissists make you not want to be in another relationship; because they tried to suck the life out of you!! Not knowing you was Strong 💪🏽 enough to let go and let GOD!!!😢🎉
Amen. I divorced my narcissist in 2008 after 28 years of marriage and 4 kids. This is incredibly EXACTLY what he was like! I wish I had this information and validation years ago but I’m so happy I got out! I enjoy living in peace.
I’m so happy that you were able to move on I’m 25 years married and still suffering. I have four kids as well. They’re in the 20s now so I feel like I have a chance to get out without too much damage to me financially but then I laugh at myself and say why do I wanna keep being mentally tortured who gives a shit about the financials? I’ll be fine. I have a job. I gotta believe I’ll be OK.
The first year my new “bff” was great. It ended when I disagreed over a general subject and she told me,” I’ve been getting tired of you and your opinions for a while”…I laughed and told her it wouldn’t be a problem for her anymore and left! I’m not looking back!!! I wake up relieved and overjoyed that I never have to see her again
Turn your toughest crises into your greatest victories. Join our webinar and learn how to transform pain into power in the realm of high-conflict divorces. 💪🔥 #FromPainToPower Learn more highconflictcert.com/ 🚀
Don't look back! if you want to Continue on the healing pass and improve your.Self esteem! If you look back, you will start the self loathing again.After the emotional abuse starts up and you know it will!!💩
Going through it as we speak, lots of rage, lots of blowback, lots of nice one day not nice the next day, the dysregulation of emotions continues. And one thing I’ve realized is that the overall treatment that I receive hasn’t really changed since I announced I wanted a divorce, it’s just that she’s not hiding her treatment of me anymore because now she feels justified because she’s the victim of having a divorce sprung on her. Nightmare!
7 months separated from mine. Exactly what I’m going through. Nice voicemail then mean, repeat n repeat! It doesn’t STOP with them! I’m sick of his crap! Sick of it!!!!
I'm dealing with this right now and the woman I with trying to make me look like the worst's dad ever for she could keep my kids and collect their money because their mom died last year it is very sad I don't know what to do
Don’t look back and never acknowledge them ever again if they reach out later in life. Acknowledging them starts the clock over in their mind. Dont give them that.. your power is to treat them like they no longer exist or matter to you anymore.
@@waltw918 After I broke free, I was badmouted, all common friends were turned against me, in an effort to marginalize/exclude me from the group of friends.
I tried to let my ex narc. A old High school sweetie back iny life,it was a total disaster, In-between CPTSD,TBI,,NPD I stood no chance,no emotional connection at all just wanted control,my neighbors told me when she showed up not to get involved,but my love from 46 years ago I had to at least let her stay with me for a few weeks she has TBI And I loved her back decades ago,well 14 months later she had to go,Dr.put me on Valium.I have no respect for narcissist.@@waltw918
The notion of a flawless marriage or relationship is a myth. There's no set formula for success; what works for one couple may not work for another. Yet, I've discovered that there's always a way forward, even in the most challenging times. Five years ago, my wife and I encountered significant hurdles in our marriage that nearly led to divorce. Despite the adversity, we managed to weather the storm and emerge from it with our bond renewed and revitalized.
Its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is shelly renee white
We are talking about narcissistic abuse. There is no fixing a narcissistic relationship. 3 times cheated on 3 times thrown out. She even pretend to commit suicide. Just to stop me from leaving and taking the kids. But once the boys moved out, she tell me I have 3 weeks to move. She had already signed a lease and of course the lease on our house ended.
@DailamiPuangIf you focus on loving yourself, working out, keeping a good image, that’s all so sexy to all of us.I started fixing all the parts of myself. My hand was fix from the arthritis, next is the other one. The feeling is priceless when you love and respect yourself. People sense your power. Just fix everything that bothers you and you will see the karma of power return to you.
I can relate! My ex x N ruined my 50th birthday all because my friend who was also the bass player in my band dropped off flowers and a card to wish me a happy 50th, I don’t typically celebrate my birthday but that was a mile stone so I got a few gifts from people. Anyways my Now ex Narc was so livid that a “guy friend” gave me flowers saying he’s just an “orbiter” and has “other motives” etc etc. two years later we were STILLLL FIGHTING about it! He NEVER moved past that and constantly accused me of being disloyal, untrustworthy, a cheater, a liar, he accused me of having an “incessant need for male attention” which all of this is not true, my only crime is growing up in a small town and having a few friends BOTHE male and female, but “No good women has guy friends” I never lived down those damn flowers and it was all so innocent, my Bass player moved away and met a lovely lady and has been so happy for the two years my Narc and I were still fighting about those damn birthday flowers!! He ruined every single holiday and every birthday of mine in the 2.5 years we were together. Not anymore!!
Had a good day in court today. The judges here in the hudson valley are awesome. Upstate NY I FIRED my attorney and represent myself. I’m a pharmacist married 30 years. 4 kids. He ghosted us to live in Walmarts parking lot with a woman he met driving a bus. Thank you so much. Thank you. ❤
I wish I could have represented myself! My attorney gaslighted me 3 years dragging things out...taken for $250,000 of equity and Marital estate. I'm forced to pay child support, while he draws thousands/ month from a trust .... Disgusting corrupt courts... (All women who have turned against women and children...).
Social media makes it so difficult to get out of these situations. I was smeared for six months straight and it was one of the most difficult things I had to endure. I am very thankful for my friends and family who supported me and helped me to take the highroad and ignore as much as possible. No one should have to go through that type of treatment, but I can honestly say that I have grown so much self confidence as a result. Be kind to yourself and know that there are plenty of people out there who will treat you with respect just as you deserve.❤
Ha ha, After an on off four year mess, I think this was my takeaway on this occassion. I had lost any patience and I was bored, which I why I didn't pussyfoot around.
❤ narcissist hate to be ignored. Do not argue. I just realized recently I was a narcissist. Now I realize why my exes saved up their money and left without a Trace. But I did look them up on the internet. So I started listening to Tim Fletcher on chronic trauma. Then I started realizing my dad was a narcissist, my mom was the perfect fawn she never would leave my dad's a very long. It affected me that she wouldn't leave. Think about it.. for the sake of your children, save up your money and leave him without a trace. Most narcissist are not gaslighting all the time. What's mostly a power and control thing. I hope this helps some people.
Pleased talked to me i am dealing with a narcist i am a mother also it feels if i am in a prison there is no seeing of my family or my 2 big boys he dont want me to go out to church why did i come back to this? It is worst now than ever pleased helped me ...
@@JohannaBannauok kiddo get in the saddle and get out....I delt with one of those....it's hard to even talk about an anything with them...the one I was with was a control freak and was obsessed with my ex girlfriends and I mean needed a million compliments very bipolar very low self esteem.....was always trying to build them up....but no go....just took all kinds of anger issues out on me...need to be in total control. And said nobody else would want me...oh yea.....so get the hell outa there....go to your family they will support you and keep him away.....
And, I have been through this, if you're trying to warn them, he will tell the new person that you are trying to get him back and trying to break them up. They have all kinds of tricks up their sleeve. People will have to learn the hard way. I wrote her three letters, and of course she thought I was terrible. And then he completely discarded her after he got some money.
Im on the point of leaving him after 10 years caring for him and giving him my everything, never got a thank you or any respect....I'm not going to be looking back...moving forward and be strong and NO FEAR💪🙏👌
Dont look back ! ❤ The power trips the accusations the actual telling me of how i think and what I need or replaying a story line to fit their reasons. Then the lies to break your spirit keep you oppressed breaking more each time in isolation questioning your worth and locking that down with them being the victim and your the disfunctional family member. Thanks i have spent yrs trying understand it all!
I was married to a NARC for 17 yrs. She didn't wound me. She taught me so many things. She is one of many that taught me how to forgive. This is the difference in being a victim and not being one. This was the purpose in the connection. I smiled listening to the video. She wants YOU to learn from her experience and HEAL. BRAVO
Amen. 20 years and get left 2 months ago kissed me goodbye and last I've heard from him. I broke down like really had a hard time til I started watching these videos in hopes of healing. That you so much. I'm able now instead of crying when I think about him I smile hold the good toned as a great memory and am excited to get to know myself .
I dated a narcissistic 8 years ago. What blows my mind is I'm working with her ATM. She never changed, doesn't want to learn, still shallow and coldhearted. I really dodged a headache being with her. I believe a relationship needs to bring out the best in each other.
Im actually writing a book about my life! My husband always mess up holidays! This Christmas he went shopping for clothes for himself and didn't buy anyone a gift! He never greet my guess when they walk in the house, he usually has his back turn towards us when they walk in the house! He cuss me out while in the hospital when I was sick, he was upset because i was getting attention! He would make me the butt of jokes in family settings!
I have empathy for you, I hope that you have learned how to forgive yourself from their abuse. if you have a negative feeling about this statement look up forgiving and the inner child.
Amen Amen Amen Amen!! I love how everyone can talk about the Narcissists behaviors amongst us all! It is unique to me that we still have sane ppl that can relate to these horrible ppl😢!! Its like group therapy!! May God bless everyone throughout their relationship and escaping the hurt from the NARCISSIST PERSON. Don't let them drain your heart, mind or soul its not worth it!! God will make away! Step out on your Lilly Pad and see what God has for you!!
They don’t care…my narc ex husband discarded me after 37 years together, he walked out as if I was nothing!! So basically, all those years meant nothing to him. Been no contact now for eight months, it’s been hard and still is at times but I’m better than him because I have empathy, I care about people’s feelings, I hate the thought of ever having upset anyone…. He doesn’t, he sees people as objects, to be used, to be there for his purpose….the narc can’t be in their own, they hate it therefore they always cling on to whoever will give them the time of day…but all these people are to the narc is a means of putting their day in… how sick.
We decided to leave our mother. Its really a relief. No more contact. Now were happy with our life. No more heart aches. Stress, nervousness, fears. Thank GOD we finally come to our senses.
I don't believe it's right to turn your back on your mother. She didn't leave you when she was raising you did she. Sometimes we don't know how parents feel what they are going through. The empty nest that breaks mom's hearts. On the day my husband passed away. My daughter said you better learn how to support yourself because I am not helping you. I was a stay at home mother and grandmother but I learnt how to take care of myself. Honor your mother and father. Not forget them. 😢
Rebecca you are communicating my entire relationship with my soon to be ex. I listen to you while driving so I cannot leave all of the comments you ask for because I’m often driving while listening but I wanted you to know that you hit the nail on the head.
My experience was that i tried to be too civil and amicable when it came to dumping the Narc .. he couldnt stand that. He wanted it to be the worst and most acrimonious break up possible. He needed it to be a toxic ending. So he said the very most vile things he could possibly think off right at the end, to try to hurt me for walking away. He sent huge long hatred filled text messages in a complete RAGE. I just finally blocked him and never looked back. Sad he felt the need to do that, but it did inadvertently help me to let go altogether and write the man off.
Yeah, the narcissist I know was telling me about a conversation she had with her family member, and I noticed her opinions were the exact opinions I expressed to her days prior. Word by Word.
I know i am not going back to anyone from my past! It's going to take more than nice gestures. I have no interest in rebuilding what has been broken. To be honest... i have no interest batting my feelings to or fro wifh mending abusive relationships, because that's all i attract. I enjoy my time for me to grow and rediscover myself. I am not bored or lonely.
I’ve got the best advice stay away from them there problems are not your responsibility there damaged there is no helping them the best way you can destroy a narc show them you don’t need the bs anymore!!! ❤
My X left me for a rebound guy after a few years together. I supported her dispite the platonic relationship and distance she created between us. After a while between her mood swine’s and leashing out at me, I had enough. That's when she realized that I wasn't putting up with her manipulation and gaslighting. She blocked 🚫 my cellphone and I blocked 🚫 her cellphone number. Good riddance. I feel like Breave Heart. "Freedom"
Mine was arrested for smashing my head off the wall 3 times & then strangled me he told the police I did it to myself! He also took my card with him before he left
As a matter of fact they made some of these disrespectful remarks which I was heedless of. Surprisingly ,they gaslit me and sent a "How are you doing message "" after a month. Geez they're completely out of their minds. He's blocked since then
I just saw your video. Hi, my name is David. I just learned one more interesting about Narcissists., that the banks and other business, behave in the same pattern. That is dangerous.
Yes yes my ex was almost in tears when she told me that at " our " sons first Birthday Party she told her aunts and others she wanted a divorce and they all told her how much they liked or loved me...I don't know how much was said but they were behind me... The quotation marks around the word son I used long story short she got pregnant by her boss while we were married...she waited one year on her sons birthday party to announce she was divorcing me... She married this man with a lavish wedding....I know their divorced for over 10yrs now
Love your work! As someone who’s been married to a spouse with full blown NPD or on the spectrum, these videos are soo important for understanding and eventually starting the healing journey ❤️🩹As a discarded husband and father of four, for 26 years (Faithfully) my world has come undone. The lies are catching up and I’m feeling the full weight of it all now as she loses the control. Thank you for sharing and being a beacon for those who are lost and seek to understand what’s happening and or happened to them. You’re a rockstar
@@kimberlymorgan1767 When they do anything for you, I compare it to making a purchase on a credit card 💳 with an extremely outrageous interest rate, that no matter how much you pay, you can never pay them back...
Not blocking sends the signal that you will be open to the hoover and your not ready to hand them their walking papers. They love the fact that you don't dare block them. If you don't you will regret it. I know this first hand after trying it both ways.
@@marshamacmartin4769 If it's the covert narcissist you don't have to worry about a hoover...Those demons are too proud.Whether you block or not they still expect that you will be first to reach out.
I disagree. Blocking is the way to do it. You won’t be having any flutter in your heart when you hear the phone ring or when you hear your texts pinging. You know it won’t be them and it makes it much easier and faster to heal.
Turn your toughest crises into your greatest victories. Join our webinar and learn how to transform pain into power in the realm of high-conflict divorces. 💪🔥 #FromPainToPower Learn more highconflictcert.com/ 🚀
Amen sister! Experiencing this stuff throughout different relationships. I started therapy to find out what was wrong with me because it happened multiple times. Happily nothing is wrong with me! 😂🥳
Good information. Being that I still love my Narcissist. I'm on the fence over a divorce. I know I should do it. I've been trying to learn your techniques. So I can be in my power. It's just not that simple. He's not all bad. I just hate the rollercoaster. Really need to make some meaningful decisions. Thank you for all the insight
Sure, I did love the narcissist, all the way until he once again packed up his stuff, bought a trailer in a retirement community, told me that he, "Couldn't live in my house anymore because he felt like a border." Then threatened me if I contacted any of his exes, which I did
You should just file it. I am in the same boat as you. Time is all you need to heal and clear your mind. I have finally picked up the courage after 16 months of separation and filed the divorce last week. It was just dragging on for way too long and I have finally saw through him. All the sweet talk but not physical change. Enough is enough, I still have a long life ahead of me and I know I can pick myself up again and start all over without him. If he thinks money is the only thing that he can control me. Well..he's wrong. I've drawn up my plan and start making a living myself after leaving him. I don't care if I will get a penny from him. I know many will think that I am stupid not fight for his money during divorce but I can make my own money. I'd rather take it the hard way than begging him for money. So you hang in there. You can do it. What I can tell you is ....He doesn't love you enough. If he loves you, you won't be where you are. I used to be like you and think 'He's not at all bad', but after 16 months, I don't ever think of that anymore.
God will see you and your baby through. You will both be much better off without his toxic energy. Look after yourself going forward & don’t believe their soapy/ pitiful behaviour. Be strong. We know the struggle of breaking away from these people. Sending you hugs🫂 and positive thoughts.🙏🏾
It’s like a perfect play book of my life, every one of these videos I watch just brings back floods of memories that I stuffed down and justified for her. Now that I see, it’s unreal how spot on it is, like word for word this has been my life on repeat for 9 years. I always had a gut feeling but I didn’t want to believe it was possible, because I love her. Now that I’m trying to gain back even the littlest bit of control of my own life it’s even more clear and continually removing all doubt in my mind.
Everything this woman says is so spot on and correct. I love listening to Dr Ramani for example, but I love that this is practical, applicable advice. Like when Rebecca says things have being going downhill in the relationship since it started - yep! She’s so right! And my narc is always too sick to talk about things right now, and before I knew it, 3 months have gone by since he hasn’t been carrying his weight in the relationship. I think today is the day I end things and never look back. Please, if you read this, wish me strength! 💖
My younger female sibling (I refuse to call her a sister) is a mid range covert malignant narcissist. I don't play her games. She tried to destroy me the day my mother died. She started a Twitter account within hours of her dying. I don't play her games but she tried. She got about 8 flying monkeys out of just under 800.
Dale has cyberstalked me, slandered me, emotional abuse, financial abuse. I don't text him anymore setting boundaries. Social media hack, place to live. Gaslight. Stalking. Profiling. He is emotionally immature. Mommy's boy. Drug addict. He is harassing me in public by texting people where I am at. Grateful I found your channel. Empowering.
Reverse psychology 😅 it great to know that he is the one afraid of me and tries everything to inflict fear. And he sure did, but now that I know this, it's over. They love Reverse psychology, I feel when he talking bad about themselves in a negative way like they saying i will never be enough for you," they are actually talking about you.😅 it's been confirmed today. Thanks for sharing this. He has me so trap I feel like I can't run, I probably need a detachment ritual done now that I know the kind of person he truly is😢 because it's not love it's a trauma bond attachment
A detachment ritual? No, you need to take steps, maybe buy a book and learn about self-confidence and self-worth, be just completely neutral with him, look up grey rock. He will give up after a while if you can't get you upset. Upset. Start planning your exit, and do not announce anything to him, just disappear and block him in every possible way and block everybody that has any connection with him. Be strong. Don't let someone victimize you.
I was about to walk away but you said "put it in the comments" lol. This monster had me fraudulently arrested in 2021 and still dragging his feet on divorce. He got a lot of supply from my arrest.
OM, everything you mention are all examples I’ve been seeing in my grandkids, all 4 of them out of 6 in same daughters family. I couldn’t understand the disrespectful acts all through their years. I just chalked it up as a different age, but knew I didn’t teach my own kids these ways. Just recently my 12yr old granddaughter turned my daughter against ne because I called her out for constantly lying. Broke my heart how she did it. I never could understand why the 4 wouldn’t look at me most of the time. Thank you for so much info that makes sense now. God bless you. Hope to learn more.
❤Amen! It's so hard to be strong and not fight for yourself when something triggers them , it's crazy! I'm always unsure , we could have a great day, and somehow someway I do something wrong. I'm so sad and confused He goes off on me and I try to be silent because it doesn't matter what I I say I try my best to do everything perfect, but he finds one little thing and belittles me so bad. I try to be strong. I know who i am and what I'm about But i have started to stop trying making me feel not special but how can someone be so mean!? 7yrs. now , my spirit is dying! I know what what I need to do , but I'm at his mercy at the moment!
I feel exactly like you do 😕I still love her but after 5 weeks of separation I'm starting to see the real her She would start arguments with me all the time and use my response to her arguments and call me abusive 😥so just like you I stopped responding to her and became a weird shell of myself. Be strong you can do this, you're not alone on this journey ❤️
Nailed it! So true. They want their victims to believe what they say about them is true and they suppose to accept anything they say about them. But because the victim loves the narcissist they will do anything to be with them even accept their lies and live being confused. So traumatizing.
I was discarded and afterwards she told me that everything was my fault, she admitted to lying for four months and that it was my fault, her avoidance was my fault and she feels a weight lifted from "carrying the relationship". I remained calm and let her expose her true self. When I tried to share my perspective of course she started to yell over me like she always did when I tried to share my emotions, it's always taken as a personal attack. I finally had enough and stood up to her. I told her she is emotionally immature and she screamed in my face pointing at me. I was angry but didn't raise my voice and told her straight up she's narcissistic. She hated that and stormed out she left and I blocked her. The next day she showed up at my work (I tend a bar) all dressed up and talking to all my friends saying how happy she is like nothing happened. It was clear her intention was to further emotionally abuse me and get under my skin. I had gone to the back and cried a few times, I felt completely trapped at my own job. She stayed for about an hour but then she started taunting me that she wasn't going to leave, so I got my boss and he told her to leave. In came her flying monkey to tell me I'm emotionally immature for setting a boundary and a bad person for having needs in our relationship. I don't mean to overshare but I'm just very traumatized by the fact that this person who "loved" me has zero empathy and zero accountability. I really loved her (the version she pretended to be) and was crushed by the whole experience. Then told it's all my fault the relationship didn't work when I was the one who put in the work. Crazy stuff, anyways AMEN. Sorry for dumping here
Pleased Rebecca helped me and want to get out of here it is destroying my inner believed my soul body and mind can,t go on liked this God is bigger than my mountain 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💔
I feel this. Everything is my fault. He's never wrong. I'm wasn't allowed to have an option. Sat to read the Bible and he said I was doing it wrong. Yelled at me saying there was an order to read it.
It’s like you can beg her and plead with her to stop hurting you and try so hard to speak logic and reason to her, but she’ll take every word and use it against you to paint their own picture of you as the villain. All to avoid something as simple as apologizing for calling you an asshole for no reason whatsoever. It’s like no matter what you say it’s always going to end the same way and she’s guaranteed to have an episode almost every single day.
After a 12 year relationship of him being violent, cruel, manipulative, cheating, he started drip feeding people in the bar he works in, and the other he hung out in, how he was a victim of domestic violence, and although I was the one with injuries, and photo evidence, and called the police, spoke to my doctor, he has so many people believing him, big groups of women too! Even all the people who know he was cheating! I found out very sinister stuff too. The woman that he kept denying he was having an affair with, started sending me nasty messages, quoting all the horrific lies he's been telling her! I live in a small town, and even though I've chucked him out, I still feel so abused! People are blanking me because they believe these lies! So not only was I isolated, mentally abused, beaten, cheated on, with no protection, as he passed something on, everyone now thinks I did them things to him!😢
@@mitzi66 the same thing happened to me I am not doing well still I'm still isolated and I'm also from a small town and I know she cheated without protection with more than one person and possibly the entire 8yrs we were together she had spyware on my phone I only discovered because she wasn't there to upload it to wherever she was storing it why I don't know because I was never anything but honest with her and I worshipped her I knew nothing about narcissism or anything that comes with it until after she had moved on as went no contact she had needed her breaks regularly over the years and I had just accidentally that was her and that she just needed space sometimes, I really thought I was losing my mind she would argue with me and then when I proved myself right she would make me believe that is what she was saying all along and when she accidentally showed me another guys 🍆on her phone 1st she tried convincing me it was mine and when she saw I wouldn't accept that she came up with the dumbest reason and I accepted it I can't believe the behaviors I accepted from her when she lost her engagement ring which wasn't cheap and she picked herself I accepted that it must be in the house and that she would have only taken it off to do the dishes that she never did I did everything I worked I did the cooking the cleaning the dishes and I accepted that she volunteered for a nonprofit that I'm not sure she ever worked for I can't believe the amount of things that I just never questioned because I truly believed that she was the person I fell in love with I have slowly come to accept that person never existed I have had to fight myself not to run to her because I have become addicted to the constant rollercoaster of emotions that she was.
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Yes, leave and don't look back, but it's harder than you may think.But do it anyway😂
Amen
❤
No Fear
So not good
Most narcissists already have their replacement supply well in place before they discard you.
Absolutely! I broke up with my ex narcisisst, and I told him to go find someelse. He said " I already did" listen carefully to what they say
True
Yep, learned that my ex-wife was on dating websites 3 months before she told me she wanted to divorce. And during that 3 month time frame she did the following:
August- Decided to divorce me.
September - got on dating websites, rented 2 storage units.
October - told her sister-in law she is going to divorce me and started pack up - aka " Decluttering " the house and told me she was " pre- spring cleaning ".
November - ask to have her car put in her name, mid Nov. Informed me she wants to divorce/ Discard!
@Cowboy19735 I'm so sorry you had to go through that. My ex narc did the same. It's painful but we can get through this. I wish you the best. Only settle for whay you deserve ❤️
@@jessies8119 Thank you 😊
When you are no longer afraid of how they will react, and stand up for yourself, they retreat in their shell like a snail.
That's what I did stood up to him I exposed him in in public he had 60 dollars I asked for a pop 2 dollars he made a public fuss wow I said you call yourself a man meanwhile I took him out for a 300 dollars but so petty
Exactly-they think we are weak-However, I thank The Lord and my parents for teaching me that I do not have to be treated disrespectful and get rid of anyone that doesn't give me respect, not honest, loyal and has no integrity!
@DIAMONDGIRL57 that's when my ex husband found his next supply and left. He knew i was no longer going to put up with the bull. Thank God he left!! He caused so much harm to me and my kids. We are well rid of him.
Yeah, once they lose that “manipulative key”, called CONTROL, they don’t know what to do
Yep
When you play the game you get covered in their guilt and shame. It's not worth it, stay no contact!
So true! I had to block my ex today.. It breaks my heart. All I ever wanted was for us to be good to each other and I really believed all her promises and efforts to get me back. Today I realized she’s never going to change, and that if I allow her to continue contacting me then I will continue to get hurt.
I am on the verge of breaking up. I won't look back
Stay strong, don't announce anything. Just do it. Block on the telephone block texting black Facebook block any people that are associated with the narcissist.
Stay strong! I'm trying to get the courage ❤️🙏
Once you see it, and go through the narcissists sequence of actions and words, it all becomes so clear.
I've been writing things down and the dots are connecting more each day. I fled him on 24 April and I've been through so much emotional turmoil. It's now been three days since I cried. He's a Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist. I never saw it until a few months ago when somehow I came across it via Dr Ramani. Life was absolute hell on earth. I no longer want to close my eyes and die. When I look down the starcase, I just cannot imagine now throwing myself down just to get away from him...his tortuous, mind bending, cruelty, and the gaslighting...oh, I can't even really begin to describe the last ten years on here.
Yes! And you almost wonder why you ever even wasted an ounce of your time…
But, you live & you learn & eventually MOVE ON! Gotta love it, Thank You Jesus!
Yes, they are evil till their lady breath.
@@debbiewilson268 yes! Patterns do emerge.
@@christopher5585 I think you meant “Last” Breath
That's exactly what it was like. I kept waiting for that good person to come back and it never happened.
Yes. That affectionate, loving person was a big fat fake. He is NOT a nice person at all. Even to his own family. It took me a long time to realize I was hanging around for who I wished he was not who he is. He has no moral compass.
Guilty of this also, it’s because ( at least for me) it’s infrequent , and time after time that little glimmer of hope would come back in my thoughts, then whammy, Blown out of the water again;(
All of it, Yes!!!! I couldn't understand what I experienced for 30yrs and once my therapist explained covert narcissist, I was overwhelmed with OMG's😮 and then you can't not see it. I used to say to myself, is he bipolar? My divorce is almost finalized and I'm no longer as sick as I was and starting my life over 🙏
I keep thinking he is bipolar.
I broke up with him and we 😢to gather 5years he went into a another relationship and called her hes😢wife . After 2 weeks of being with her said it was a mistake!!!😂good for him. I was hurt but now I am much better with out him.
He tried to get me to react to him getting angry at me and I didn't react he got mad at me and went to sleep. 😂
He was 50 years old and she was in her 20s and she bought up with him 😂
30 years for me too with a grandiose narc. Then 10 with a covert narc!
If you feel lonely after going no contact, get out with friends. Join a group, get help these demons don’t have emotions, I think that’s what you are dealing with. I like to look at him that way instead of a toddler. He has already discarded you, and moved on to his next victim
I am trying I feel helpless
She destroyed me
Be glad he left. Whew.
He may come back, love- bombing all over again.
Or victims. Mine had four.
Discarding is MUTUAL
I’ve struggled for more than 8 months thinking I’m an asshole, a narcissist. I swear every time I listen to one of these videos and Especially this one….. I’m going no contact
30 years of misery. Thank you my King Jesus Christ for saving me. Christ has returned everything she stole from me. My sanity, my health, my finances 😊
@@larrycasarez-t9o same here I’m waiting to see where the Lord wants me. HE stole everything from my youth to my health my finances- my credit. He was a loser with nothing until he sucked the life from me & my home & bank account. These types are born Con artists
I Praise God for your deliverance and mine!!! God intervened to rescue me!!!
May God continues to bless you; you deserve it! Narcissists make you not want to be in another relationship; because they tried to suck the life out of you!! Not knowing you was Strong 💪🏽 enough to let go and let GOD!!!😢🎉
🙏🙏🙏
Amen
Amen. I divorced my narcissist in 2008 after 28 years of marriage and 4 kids. This is incredibly EXACTLY what he was like! I wish I had this information and validation years ago but I’m so happy I got out! I enjoy living in peace.
I’m so happy that you were able to move on I’m 25 years married and still suffering. I have four kids as well. They’re in the 20s now so I feel like I have a chance to get out without too much damage to me financially but then I laugh at myself and say why do I wanna keep being mentally tortured who gives a shit about the financials? I’ll be fine. I have a job. I gotta believe I’ll be OK.
The first year my new “bff” was great. It ended when I disagreed over a general subject and she told me,” I’ve been getting tired of you and your opinions for a while”…I laughed and told her it wouldn’t be a problem for her anymore and left! I’m not looking back!!! I wake up relieved and overjoyed that I never have to see her again
Dont be afraid of them! Accert yourself
@@nicholecornes1915 Assertion is everything for sure.
They are not worth it. Run for your life.
Dont look back. Radical Acceptance. Its ok to have been wrong. You got this!🤗🏖️
Turn your toughest crises into your greatest victories. Join our webinar and learn how to transform pain into power in the realm of high-conflict divorces. 💪🔥 #FromPainToPower
Learn more highconflictcert.com/ 🚀
Don't look back! if you want to Continue on the healing pass and improve your.Self esteem! If you look back, you will start the self loathing again.After the emotional abuse starts up and you know it will!!💩
Going through it as we speak, lots of rage, lots of blowback, lots of nice one day not nice the next day, the dysregulation of emotions continues. And one thing I’ve realized is that the overall treatment that I receive hasn’t really changed since I announced I wanted a divorce, it’s just that she’s not hiding her treatment of me anymore because now she feels justified because she’s the victim of having a divorce sprung on her. Nightmare!
Same here!! Rough had no idea until I watched these narcissist videos…. Knowledge is power
7 months separated from mine. Exactly what I’m going through. Nice voicemail then mean, repeat n repeat! It doesn’t STOP with them! I’m sick of his crap! Sick of it!!!!
Married 63 yrs to one and just learning so much hidden backstory
They move onto the next victim. Thats what they do
I'm dealing with this right now and the woman I with trying to make me look like the worst's dad ever for she could keep my kids and collect their money because their mom died last year it is very sad I don't know what to do
😂
Yep
"Don't look back" "Amen" "No fear" "For sure" "On track"
Don’t look back and never acknowledge them ever again if they reach out later in life. Acknowledging them starts the clock over in their mind. Dont give them that.. your power is to treat them like they no longer exist or matter to you anymore.
Thank u. My adhd brain was going crazy trying to remember them all !
@@waltw918 After I broke free, I was badmouted, all common friends were turned against me, in an effort to marginalize/exclude me from the group of friends.
I tried to let my ex narc. A old High school sweetie back iny life,it was a total disaster, In-between CPTSD,TBI,,NPD I stood no chance,no emotional connection at all just wanted control,my neighbors told me when she showed up not to get involved,but my love from 46 years ago I had to at least let her stay with me for a few weeks she has TBI And I loved her back decades ago,well 14 months later she had to go,Dr.put me on Valium.I have no respect for narcissist.@@waltw918
Amen
Narcs could care less about all your kindnesses. They won't appreciate any of it, and they won't love you for it.
The notion of a flawless marriage or relationship is a myth. There's no set formula for success; what works for one couple may not work for another. Yet, I've discovered that there's always a way forward, even in the most challenging times. Five years ago, my wife and I encountered significant hurdles in our marriage that nearly led to divorce. Despite the adversity, we managed to weather the storm and emerge from it with our bond renewed and revitalized.
Its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is shelly renee white
You wont regret it
We are talking about narcissistic abuse. There is no fixing a narcissistic relationship. 3 times cheated on 3 times thrown out. She even pretend to commit suicide. Just to stop me from leaving and taking the kids. But once the boys moved out, she tell me I have 3 weeks to move. She had already signed a lease and of course the lease on our house ended.
@DailamiPuangIf you focus on loving yourself, working out, keeping a good image, that’s all so sexy to all of us.I started fixing all the parts of myself. My hand was fix from the arthritis, next is the other one. The feeling is priceless when you love and respect yourself. People sense your power. Just fix everything that bothers you and you will see the karma of power return to you.
That’s great
He ruined every special occasion.... especially my birthdays, work events, family gatherings...etc....every occasion. As did my ex husband.
I can relate! My ex x N ruined my 50th birthday all because my friend who was also the bass player in my band dropped off flowers and a card to wish me a happy 50th, I don’t typically celebrate my birthday but that was a mile stone so I got a few gifts from people. Anyways my Now ex Narc was so livid that a “guy friend” gave me flowers saying he’s just an “orbiter” and has “other motives” etc etc. two years later we were STILLLL FIGHTING about it! He NEVER moved past that and constantly accused me of being disloyal, untrustworthy, a cheater, a liar, he accused me of having an “incessant need for male attention” which all of this is not true, my only crime is growing up in a small town and having a few friends BOTHE male and female, but “No good women has guy friends”
I never lived down those damn flowers and it was all so innocent, my Bass player moved away and met a lovely lady and has been so happy for the two years my Narc and I were still fighting about those damn birthday flowers!! He ruined every single holiday and every birthday of mine in the 2.5 years we were together. Not anymore!!
I love you said that”you have no power over me “, I feel myself again just showing the narcissist that I have my power
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Why would you say that to a narcissist? it will not affect them at all so don't bother. Just walk out. When they are not there, no announcement.
I'm So FULL STEAM AHEAD! THANK GOD! I'm so good! I'm so grateful. It's finally over!
He told his coworkers I sold the house without him knowing…. WE WERE RENTERS!!!😭😭😭😭😭
@@shelleyfaust1064 Bahaha!
Lmao ..pfft ..
Wow lol!
😮😮😮😮
😮
Had a good day in court today. The judges here in the hudson valley are awesome. Upstate NY
I FIRED my attorney and represent myself. I’m a pharmacist married 30 years. 4 kids. He ghosted us to live in Walmarts parking lot with a woman he met driving a bus. Thank you so much. Thank you. ❤
I wish I could have represented myself! My attorney gaslighted me 3 years dragging things out...taken for $250,000 of equity and Marital estate. I'm forced to pay child support, while he draws thousands/ month from a trust .... Disgusting corrupt courts... (All women who have turned against women and children...).
Social media makes it so difficult to get out of these situations. I was smeared for six months straight and it was one of the most difficult things I had to endure. I am very thankful for my friends and family who supported me and helped me to take the highroad and ignore as much as possible. No one should have to go through that type of treatment, but I can honestly say that I have grown so much self confidence as a result.
Be kind to yourself and know that there are plenty of people out there who will treat you with respect just as you deserve.❤
When you realize their behavior is BORING❤Thank you❤
Ha ha, After an on off four year mess, I think this was my takeaway on this occassion. I had lost any patience and I was bored, which I why I didn't pussyfoot around.
❤ narcissist hate to be ignored. Do not argue. I just realized recently I was a narcissist. Now I realize why my exes saved up their money and left without a Trace. But I did look them up on the internet. So I started listening to Tim Fletcher on chronic trauma. Then I started realizing my dad was a narcissist, my mom was the perfect fawn she never would leave my dad's a very long. It affected me that she wouldn't leave. Think about it.. for the sake of your children, save up your money and leave him without a trace. Most narcissist are not gaslighting all the time. What's mostly a power and control thing. I hope this helps some people.
Pleased talked to me i am dealing with a narcist i am a mother also it feels if i am in a prison there is no seeing of my family or my 2 big boys he dont want me to go out to church why did i come back to this? It is worst now than ever pleased helped me ...
I think I am a narcissist...and was living with a narcissist. That's why the relationship didn't work.
@@JohannaBannauok kiddo get in the saddle and get out....I delt with one of those....it's hard to even talk about an anything with them...the one I was with was a control freak and was obsessed with my ex girlfriends and I mean needed a million compliments very bipolar very low self esteem.....was always trying to build them up....but no go....just took all kinds of anger issues out on me...need to be in total control. And said nobody else would want me...oh yea.....so get the hell outa there....go to your family they will support you and keep him away.....
One of the most challenging events in life
My emotional/logic scale is broke.
I feel this I don't know who I am anymore.
I feel sorry for the next victim.
Pray for me please. Today and tomorrow...bendiciones...michael...m
And, I have been through this, if you're trying to warn them, he will tell the new person that you are trying to get him back and trying to break them up. They have all kinds of tricks up their sleeve. People will have to learn the hard way. I wrote her three letters, and of course she thought I was terrible. And then he completely discarded her after he got some money.
For Sure. They did have new Supplies ready before they discarded me.
Don’t
Don't, they will learn the hard way
Im on the point of leaving him after 10 years caring for him and giving him my everything, never got a thank you or any respect....I'm not going to be looking back...moving forward and be strong and NO FEAR💪🙏👌
Dont look back ! ❤
The power trips the accusations the actual telling me of how i think and what I need or replaying a story line to fit their reasons. Then the lies to break your spirit keep you oppressed breaking more each time in isolation questioning your worth and locking that down with them being the victim and your the disfunctional family member.
Thanks i have spent yrs trying understand it all!
Have you spent any time getting out of it
I was married to a NARC for 17 yrs. She didn't wound me. She taught me so many things. She is one of many that taught me how to forgive. This is the difference in being a victim and not being one. This was the purpose in the connection. I smiled listening to the video. She wants YOU to learn from her experience and HEAL. BRAVO
I absolutely agree! I am so grateful for my 9 years because it brought me so close to God. Taught me so much. I wouldn't trade it for anything. ❤
Amen. 20 years and get left 2 months ago kissed me goodbye and last I've heard from him. I broke down like really had a hard time til I started watching these videos in hopes of healing. That you so much. I'm able now instead of crying when I think about him I smile hold the good toned as a great memory and am excited to get to know myself .
Amen.
No fear
So not charming
I dated a narcissistic 8 years ago. What blows my mind is I'm working with her ATM. She never changed, doesn't want to learn, still shallow and coldhearted. I really dodged a headache being with her. I believe a relationship needs to bring out the best in each other.
What's an atm?
@@marcialussier2467 At The Moment
@marcia it mean at the moment
I too thought about writing a book, but you have validated my theory that my life is no different than someone else's.
You should still write a book.
Im actually writing a book about my life! My husband always mess up holidays! This Christmas he went shopping for clothes for himself and didn't buy anyone a gift! He never greet my guess when they walk in the house, he usually has his back turn towards us when they walk in the house! He cuss me out while in the hospital when I was sick, he was upset because i was getting attention! He would make me the butt of jokes in family settings!
Are you still with him?
No contact?
I have empathy for you, I hope that you have learned how to forgive yourself from their abuse. if you have a negative feeling about this statement look up forgiving and the inner child.
Good for you smart women and best of luck with your book! 🌻
Sounds familiar.
"I'm gonna find someone else if this continues." I said go for it, and he did!
Amen Amen Amen Amen!! I love how everyone can talk about the Narcissists behaviors amongst us all! It is unique to me that we still have sane ppl that can relate to these horrible ppl😢!! Its like group therapy!! May God bless everyone throughout their relationship and escaping the hurt from the NARCISSIST PERSON. Don't let them drain your heart, mind or soul its not worth it!! God will make away! Step out on your Lilly Pad and see what God has for you!!
Yesss
Oh yeah he told me how much he loved me the morning he walked out! I have been hurt like I never believed was possible.
They don’t care…my narc ex husband discarded me after 37 years together, he walked out as if I was nothing!! So basically, all those years meant nothing to him. Been no contact now for eight months, it’s been hard and still is at times but I’m better than him because I have empathy, I care about people’s feelings, I hate the thought of ever having upset anyone…. He doesn’t, he sees people as objects, to be used, to be there for his purpose….the narc can’t be in their own, they hate it therefore they always cling on to whoever will give them the time of day…but all these people are to the narc is a means of putting their day in… how sick.
Not only does he not care about hurting people, he actually plans it out and he actually really enjoys it! Did you ever see the narcissistic smirk
Amen sister, I’m working on getting out slowly, been ill hopefully will get better few weeks. Gees how draining this is.
I'm glad you haven't taken on board narcissist traits and are helping people instead . .... DON'T LOOK BACK
Read him like the back of my hand 99.8% . Thank u for the therapy.
We decided to leave our mother. Its really a relief. No more contact. Now were happy with our life. No more heart aches. Stress, nervousness, fears. Thank GOD we finally come to our senses.
Same with me and my 3 siblings going no contact with our older sister! The only way to handle her was not to.
I can't seem to leave and stay gone
I love him I've seen the changes in him
Omg youre rignt on hit
I feel .ike youve beem waktching y
Iife,or he says > crazy
I don't believe it's right to turn your back on your mother. She didn't leave you when she was raising you did she. Sometimes we don't know how parents feel what they are going through. The empty nest that breaks mom's hearts. On the day my husband passed away. My daughter said you better learn how to support yourself because I am not helping you. I was a stay at home mother and grandmother but I learnt how to take care of myself. Honor your mother and father. Not forget them. 😢
Rebecca you are communicating my entire relationship with my soon to be ex. I listen to you while driving so I cannot leave all of the comments you ask for because I’m often driving while listening but I wanted you to know that you hit the nail on the head.
My experience was that i tried to be too civil and amicable when it came to dumping the Narc .. he couldnt stand that. He wanted it to be the worst and most acrimonious break up possible. He needed it to be a toxic ending. So he said the very most vile things he could possibly think off right at the end, to try to hurt me for walking away. He sent huge long hatred filled text messages in a complete RAGE. I just finally blocked him and never looked back. Sad he felt the need to do that, but it did inadvertently help me to let go altogether and write the man off.
Smart women! 🌻 😎
For sure
Yeah, the narcissist I know was telling me about a conversation she had with her family member, and I noticed her opinions were the exact opinions I expressed to her days prior. Word by Word.
They so disorganized and messy. Think they have made service
I know i am not going back to anyone from my past! It's going to take more than nice gestures. I have no interest in rebuilding what has been broken. To be honest... i have no interest batting my feelings to or fro wifh mending abusive relationships, because that's all i attract. I enjoy my time for me to grow and rediscover myself. I am not bored or lonely.
Do not look back...Amen..No Fear
I’ve got the best advice stay away from them there problems are not your responsibility there damaged there is no helping them the best way you can destroy a narc show them you don’t need the bs anymore!!! ❤
My X left me for a rebound guy after a few years together. I supported her dispite the platonic relationship and distance she created between us. After a while between her mood swine’s and leashing out at me, I had enough. That's when she realized that I wasn't putting up with her manipulation and gaslighting. She blocked 🚫 my cellphone and I blocked 🚫 her cellphone number. Good riddance. I feel like Breave Heart. "Freedom"
Don’t look back! AMEN!
They are so fucking sick in so many ways.
You are right on the money.
Mine was arrested for smashing my head off the wall 3 times & then strangled me he told the police I did it to myself! He also took my card with him before he left
As a matter of fact they made some of these disrespectful remarks which I was heedless of.
Surprisingly ,they gaslit me and sent a "How are you doing message "" after a month.
Geez they're completely out of their minds.
He's blocked since then
Don't forget to block on facebook, block on your telephone, block texting, and block any person that is associated with him.
I just saw your video. Hi, my name is David. I just learned one more interesting about Narcissists., that the banks and other business, behave in the same pattern. That is dangerous.
Yes yes my ex was almost in tears when she told me that at " our " sons first Birthday Party she told her aunts and others she wanted a divorce and they all told her how much they liked or loved me...I don't know how much was said but they were behind me...
The quotation marks around the word son I used long story short she got pregnant by her boss while we were married...she waited one year on her sons birthday party to announce she was divorcing me...
She married this man with a lavish wedding....I know their divorced for over 10yrs now
Love your work! As someone who’s been married to a spouse with full blown NPD or on the spectrum, these videos are soo important for understanding and eventually starting the healing journey ❤️🩹As a discarded husband and father of four, for 26 years (Faithfully) my world has come undone.
The lies are catching up and I’m feeling the full weight of it all now as she loses the control.
Thank you for sharing and being a beacon for those who are lost and seek to understand what’s happening and or happened to them. You’re a rockstar
1:11:44 Drained and they still say they did more for you than you ever did for them, and you really haven't done anything for you...
Yes. He told me I couldn't keep up with the things he did around the house. I worked 80 hrs a week to make a living. He didn't work for 7 years.
@@kimberlymorgan1767 ❤️❤️❤️...
@@kimberlymorgan1767 When they do anything for you, I compare it to making a purchase on a credit card 💳 with an extremely outrageous interest rate, that no matter how much you pay, you can never pay them back...
No fear. I told him he was gaslighting me. This isn't my first rodeo.
You are a wonderful, intelligent, and beautiful teacher, coach, and gifted speaker. Thank you ❤
I actually don’t even block them I just don’t pay attention to them! Blocking in my opinion gives them a win so I don’t block! Just gotta be strong
Not blocking sends the signal that you will be open to the hoover and your not ready to hand them their walking papers.
They love the fact that you don't dare block them. If you don't you will regret it. I know this first hand after trying it both ways.
@@marshamacmartin4769 If it's the covert narcissist you don't have to worry about a hoover...Those demons are too proud.Whether you block or not they still expect that you will be first to reach out.
I disagree. Blocking is the way to do it. You won’t be having any flutter in your heart when you hear the phone ring or when you hear your texts pinging. You know it won’t be them and it makes it much easier and faster to heal.
Totally sounds firmilair, 5 yrs no contact . Best thing he did was leave
“Fluff or favour, vomit later!” Magnificent! Okay ✅
Turn your toughest crises into your greatest victories. Join our webinar and learn how to transform pain into power in the realm of high-conflict divorces. 💪🔥 #FromPainToPower
Learn more highconflictcert.com/ 🚀
Amen sister! Experiencing this stuff throughout different relationships. I started therapy to find out what was wrong with me because it happened multiple times. Happily nothing is wrong with me! 😂🥳
For sure this Covert was my X fiancé. I never engaged. I am enjoying a 1 1/2 years of freedom from him. I dropped him out of my life.
The sickness one definitely
He played me for 12years with that
Devil
Good information. Being that I still love my Narcissist. I'm on the fence over a divorce. I know I should do it. I've been trying to learn your techniques. So I can be in my power. It's just not that simple. He's not all bad. I just hate the rollercoaster. Really need to make some meaningful decisions. Thank you for all the insight
It goes from bad to worse. Dost ever get better.
Sure, I did love the narcissist, all the way until he once again packed up his stuff, bought a trailer in a retirement community, told me that he, "Couldn't live in my house anymore because he felt like a border." Then threatened me if I contacted any of his exes, which I did
Divorce isn’t always the answer. 80% of the time your husband is going to be amazing and 20% of the time they’re terrible. 🤷🏾♀️
@@justmontina
The subject is narcissism. There’s no 80% amazing time with such.
You should just file it. I am in the same boat as you. Time is all you need to heal and clear your mind. I have finally picked up the courage after 16 months of separation and filed the divorce last week. It was just dragging on for way too long and I have finally saw through him. All the sweet talk but not physical change. Enough is enough, I still have a long life ahead of me and I know I can pick myself up again and start all over without him. If he thinks money is the only thing that he can control me. Well..he's wrong. I've drawn up my plan and start making a living myself after leaving him. I don't care if I will get a penny from him. I know many will think that I am stupid not fight for his money during divorce but I can make my own money. I'd rather take it the hard way than begging him for money. So you hang in there. You can do it. What I can tell you is ....He doesn't love you enough. If he loves you, you won't be where you are. I used to be like you and think 'He's not at all bad', but after 16 months, I don't ever think of that anymore.
I would rather say:
NEVER SHOW FEAR ( even if ya are)❤
I would never have stepped out there, but I can now. I want my own, just my own. I can’t be owned.
No fear! Never look back
She is 100% telling the truth
Ending my narcissistic relationship while currently 37 weeks 🤰🤰🤰😩🙏
Sending love and hugs to you. Stay strong, we got this 🙏💕
@@dillenderl1 THANK U SM! Yes we got this 💪🖤🙏
God bless you and the baby.
God will see you and your baby through. You will both be much better off without his toxic energy. Look after yourself going forward & don’t believe their soapy/ pitiful behaviour. Be strong. We know the struggle of breaking away from these people. Sending you hugs🫂 and positive thoughts.🙏🏾
It's better they don't influence kids. ❤
Never go back, never.
Amen. I went through so much and he’s still doing it. You and Dr. Ramani are wonderful.
Don't look back!!!
It’s like a perfect play book of my life, every one of these videos I watch just brings back floods of memories that I stuffed down and justified for her.
Now that I see, it’s unreal how spot on it is, like word for word this has been my life on repeat for 9 years. I always had a gut feeling but I didn’t want to believe it was possible, because I love her.
Now that I’m trying to gain back even the littlest bit of control of my own life it’s even more clear and continually removing all doubt in my mind.
I been married for 25 years I didn't know what Narcissist mean she just explaining me about my X wife 100%
Everything this woman says is so spot on and correct. I love listening to Dr Ramani for example, but I love that this is practical, applicable advice. Like when Rebecca says things have being going downhill in the relationship since it started - yep! She’s so right! And my narc is always too sick to talk about things right now, and before I knew it, 3 months have gone by since he hasn’t been carrying his weight in the relationship. I think today is the day I end things and never look back. Please, if you read this, wish me strength! 💖
I will not listen to their lies!
My dad had this mindset that he is a king in a castle after my mom divorced him. So the "kingdom" part really caught my attention in this video
My younger female sibling (I refuse to call her a sister) is a mid range covert malignant narcissist. I don't play her games. She tried to destroy me the day my mother died. She started a Twitter account within hours of her dying. I don't play her games but she tried. She got about 8 flying monkeys out of just under 800.
I have a sister like that
My daughter and sister in law have all of these traits!
@@pamelacarter2769 my daughter, after my female sibling got to her, developed the same traits. That totally shattered me.
Dale has cyberstalked me, slandered me, emotional abuse, financial abuse. I don't text him anymore setting boundaries. Social media hack, place to live. Gaslight. Stalking. Profiling. He is emotionally immature. Mommy's boy. Drug addict. He is harassing me in public by texting people where I am at. Grateful I found your channel. Empowering.
Reverse psychology 😅 it great to know that he is the one afraid of me and tries everything to inflict fear. And he sure did, but now that I know this, it's over. They love Reverse psychology, I feel when he talking bad about themselves in a negative way like they saying i will never be enough for you," they are actually talking about you.😅 it's been confirmed today. Thanks for sharing this. He has me so trap I feel like I can't run, I probably need a detachment ritual done now that I know the kind of person he truly is😢 because it's not love it's a trauma bond attachment
You will be strong. Talk to a counselor who understands narc behavior.
A detachment ritual? No, you need to take steps, maybe buy a book and learn about self-confidence and self-worth, be just completely neutral with him, look up grey rock. He will give up after a while if you can't get you upset. Upset. Start planning your exit, and do not announce anything to him, just disappear and block him in every possible way and block everybody that has any connection with him. Be strong. Don't let someone victimize you.
I never got sick other than a cold or flu once in a while. Now, I never have energy and I get sick a lot.
Thank you Rebecca. Don't look back
Say to yourself I will not except a negative cupcake as a gift
She's a better mom to the world than many moms out there.
I was about to walk away but you said "put it in the comments" lol. This monster had me fraudulently arrested in 2021 and still dragging his feet on divorce. He got a lot of supply from my arrest.
OM, everything you mention are all examples I’ve been seeing in my grandkids, all 4 of them out of 6 in same daughters family. I couldn’t understand the disrespectful acts all through their years. I just chalked it up as a different age, but knew I didn’t teach my own kids these ways. Just recently my 12yr old granddaughter turned my daughter against ne because I called her out for constantly lying. Broke my heart how she did it. I never could understand why the 4 wouldn’t look at me most of the time. Thank you for so much info that makes sense now. God bless you. Hope to learn more.
❤Amen! It's so hard to be strong and not fight for yourself when something triggers them , it's crazy! I'm always unsure , we could have a great day, and somehow someway I do something wrong. I'm so sad and confused
He goes off on me and I try to be silent because it doesn't matter what I I say
I try my best to do everything perfect, but he finds one little thing and belittles me so bad. I try to be strong. I know who i am and what I'm about But i have started to stop trying making me feel not special but how can someone be so mean!? 7yrs. now , my spirit is dying! I know what what I need to do , but I'm at his mercy at the moment!
I feel exactly like you do 😕I still love her but after 5 weeks of separation I'm starting to see the real her
She would start arguments with me all the time and use my response to her arguments and call me abusive 😥so just like you I stopped responding to her and became a weird shell of myself. Be strong you can do this, you're not alone on this journey ❤️
Ending every conversation with "God bless" 🙏...
Helps your healing.
Hurts the others heart.
Job done .
Big love , God bless 🙏 xx
The smear comes way early because once you met the New person in the group...they already look at you different.
I'm feeling exactly where your coming from, Thank you ❤
They will lie and they know you know but they telling you thats the story they going by now
Nailed it! So true. They want their victims to believe what they say about them is true and they suppose to accept anything they say about them. But because the victim loves the narcissist they will do anything to be with them even accept their lies and live being confused. So traumatizing.
I was discarded and afterwards she told me that everything was my fault, she admitted to lying for four months and that it was my fault, her avoidance was my fault and she feels a weight lifted from "carrying the relationship". I remained calm and let her expose her true self. When I tried to share my perspective of course she started to yell over me like she always did when I tried to share my emotions, it's always taken as a personal attack. I finally had enough and stood up to her. I told her she is emotionally immature and she screamed in my face pointing at me. I was angry but didn't raise my voice and told her straight up she's narcissistic. She hated that and stormed out she left and I blocked her. The next day she showed up at my work (I tend a bar) all dressed up and talking to all my friends saying how happy she is like nothing happened. It was clear her intention was to further emotionally abuse me and get under my skin. I had gone to the back and cried a few times, I felt completely trapped at my own job. She stayed for about an hour but then she started taunting me that she wasn't going to leave, so I got my boss and he told her to leave. In came her flying monkey to tell me I'm emotionally immature for setting a boundary and a bad person for having needs in our relationship. I don't mean to overshare but I'm just very traumatized by the fact that this person who "loved" me has zero empathy and zero accountability. I really loved her (the version she pretended to be) and was crushed by the whole experience. Then told it's all my fault the relationship didn't work when I was the one who put in the work. Crazy stuff, anyways AMEN. Sorry for dumping here
@@Jack22VV your healing
Why do a narcist blamed you for everything? Hellped me pleased💔
Pleased Rebecca helped me and want to get out of here it is destroying my inner believed my soul body and mind can,t go on liked this God is bigger than my mountain 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💔
Rebecca pleased read my 2 commands and helped me .....
I feel this. Everything is my fault. He's never wrong. I'm wasn't allowed to have an option. Sat to read the Bible and he said I was doing it wrong. Yelled at me saying there was an order to read it.
It’s like you can beg her and plead with her to stop hurting you and try so hard to speak logic and reason to her, but she’ll take every word and use it against you to paint their own picture of you as the villain. All to avoid something as simple as apologizing for calling you an asshole for no reason whatsoever. It’s like no matter what you say it’s always going to end the same way and she’s guaranteed to have an episode almost every single day.
After a 12 year relationship of him being violent, cruel, manipulative, cheating, he started drip feeding people in the bar he works in, and the other he hung out in, how he was a victim of domestic violence, and although I was the one with injuries, and photo evidence, and called the police, spoke to my doctor, he has so many people believing him, big groups of women too! Even all the people who know he was cheating! I found out very sinister stuff too. The woman that he kept denying he was having an affair with, started sending me nasty messages, quoting all the horrific lies he's been telling her! I live in a small town, and even though I've chucked him out, I still feel so abused! People are blanking me because they believe these lies! So not only was I isolated, mentally abused, beaten, cheated on, with no protection, as he passed something on, everyone now thinks I did them things to him!😢
@@mitzi66 the same thing happened to me I am not doing well still I'm still isolated and I'm also from a small town and I know she cheated without protection with more than one person and possibly the entire 8yrs we were together she had spyware on my phone I only discovered because she wasn't there to upload it to wherever she was storing it why I don't know because I was never anything but honest with her and I worshipped her I knew nothing about narcissism or anything that comes with it until after she had moved on as went no contact she had needed her breaks regularly over the years and I had just accidentally that was her and that she just needed space sometimes, I really thought I was losing my mind she would argue with me and then when I proved myself right she would make me believe that is what she was saying all along and when she accidentally showed me another guys 🍆on her phone 1st she tried convincing me it was mine and when she saw I wouldn't accept that she came up with the dumbest reason and I accepted it I can't believe the behaviors I accepted from her when she lost her engagement ring which wasn't cheap and she picked herself I accepted that it must be in the house and that she would have only taken it off to do the dishes that she never did I did everything I worked I did the cooking the cleaning the dishes and I accepted that she volunteered for a nonprofit that I'm not sure she ever worked for I can't believe the amount of things that I just never questioned because I truly believed that she was the person I fell in love with I have slowly come to accept that person never existed I have had to fight myself not to run to her because I have become addicted to the constant rollercoaster of emotions that she was.
Rebecca you are the best, you know exactly how there minds of a narcissist works, it very scary. You just described my life.