Dates change expectations. Just communicate, talk, discuss life, values, manners, . Be honest. Be real.. Respect first. Stop the ideas of getting instant gratification, flings, affairs, etc.. Make enough TIME to get to know that NEW PERSON. FIRST. ASK QUESTIONS. BE REAL. IS IT POSSIBLE??
I simply say: I don't fornicate. I'm not casual, a friend with benefits, a booty call. Not fornicating sends them running but fast! Some say they are cool with it because it comes off as a challenge for their ego. I will be without a man for the rest of my life if I have to be. I will NEVER compromise my standards again for anyone.
I am a man and never had premartial sex and dont plan to and I start my relationships with that being said in the first convo. This i massively respect cause I find alot of women are also not comfortable with not having sex until marriage.
@@zerotoanime3953 I’m glad and relieved you said this. I’m a virgin, and I ain’t compromising for no one. I will stay by myself if I have to..and have been all my life. It don’t make no difference to me at the moment.
@@deenabpeacelovebryant9122 Trust issues now. Healing time and trusting that it'll happen when the time is right. Healing and loving ourselves has a lot to do with who we attract to us.
When my husband and I were dating, the first time I had my period, and didn't feel like going out, he went by the store, and got me chocolate and provisions, asked if I feel up to hanging out and watching movies. We are still married. 23 years happily married (with work). 💓💓
Things have changed a lot in 23 years. Thanks to Internet and porn. Now, men believe that they have many other easy options so they don't bother committing. I wish you continued happiness and love ❤️❤️
The problem is that he won't just state that he's in it for sex. That's what is disingenuous about it. And lying by omission is still lying. It's still INTENTIONAL misleading someone to get what you want at their detriment.
I have thought about that a lot but never came to that full on conclusion until now, or maybe I have and just was willing to be used, in a way, before learning all this other stuff he said.
some men go round and round in circles dropping hints but woman can't filter it sometimes...so before women jump the gun..assume he's not really interested
If a man truly respects you, wants to get to know you because he wants to have something more than just a sexual relationship, he’ll wait. Communication & getting to know someone deeply can be very intimate. You are worth it!
My husband just wanted a fling and I wasn’t really interested in a relationship either. After about 4 weeks we both fell in love with each other. After 10 years of dating, we were married for 35 years. He passed away last year. I miss him terribly
All of these traps and illusions you have to avoid just to have a man around is exhausting. Make peace with being single until you meet a decent man that doesn't play mindgames, games of manipulation.
Guys trying to have sex with me in exchange for the price of dinner is the exact reason why I don't date. Don't treat me like a cheap whore, or more accurately, a dog who will roll over and let you pet them in exchange for food. I find it SO OFFENSIVE, INSULTING, and SCARY that a man would think I would be willing to give a husband level privilege to a man I've just barely met.
Don't let a few bad apples spoil the bunch. All due... You sound incredibly damaged to say that you don't date [hard stop], simply because of a few bad experiences. Perhaps, though, that is an indication that you're just not prepared to do so, yet. Wishing you healing, fortitude, a strong voice & personal empowerment, Hailey. 🙏🏽
I met this guy at the airport and since he had the same layover as mine (I had a room with 2 beds, he had to sleep on the floor) I told him he could use the spare bed. Long story short. He bought me a Mc Donalds, and we had sex, I had to go back to Mexico where I was living at the time and he had to go back to Europe. Two years later he asked me to marry him. Moral of the story: live freely, have fun, and spontaneous things are the best, not a coincidence that all the guys I slept with "too soon" for many lady's standards, begged me to see each other again. Do you want to be taken seriously? It doesn't matter if you sleep with the guy for 1 hour or 1 month. Be a woman who has other interests in life, real ones, sparkles in your eyes when talking about them, the things that make you a COMPLETE person whether you have a man on your side or not. Men, the good ones, know this, they can smell you do not need them at all and there u go. I never had a one-night stand as they always wanted to see me and ended up in long-term relationships where they were the most attached. Did I meet guys who only wanted sex? sure! But the thing with these guys is not even the red flags, I immediately can't feel any connection. That's my only red flag. Even after 1 hour of talking it becomes very obvious.
@@rtphotos4691 I had to go to Europe in Berlin for a conference and we met and it all started. Was crazy and he asked me to give us a try. And I moved back to Europe (I'm from Italy) so a couple of hours away, and it did work as we moved in together pretty quickly and the rest is history. PS, I did NOT give up my life and my dreams for him. I moved a lot and could work from anywhere in the world and he's also working on being able to work remotely as this is also his dream, in the meantime, Covid aside we took adventurous trips and I also traveled solo, so all good, we trust each other :)
I'm a widow now, and have been since 2015 and I don't date because men these days would rather go after women that will have sex with them right off the bat, they don't want to get to know you and it's not just the younger ones the older are worse.
Yup the older ones. They won't change and be fixed. End it and eventually all females will get tired of them and they won't have anyone put up and accept it. They will be lonely and deserve to be alone forever. Maybe they had their prime when they got any females with sweet talks but we females are so much smarter now and know exactly what we want. Females don't put up with bs anymore. We females have so much more power than we know it. We just need to know how and learn to act on it and stand on it. Be firm and willing to walk away and never look back.
I knew on the first date that I wanted to marry my future husband. I was 15, and he was 17. We married at 18 and 20. We were happily married for 51 years and 4 days. We dated 3 years off and on, on mostly. I believe that you can know without a doubt when your right person shows up in your life. I have been a widow for 7 years. I have dated only a few men a few times with no connection. I met a man 4 months ago and we hit it off with that same intensity as with my sweetheart in my youth. We talk about everything. Right now I pray we are still wanting to be together next year and still growing the relationship.
Amazing! Pray to our Lord Jesus that if he is for you to bring him closer to you and if he's not for you to push him away from you. God only knows what's best and He's never wrong.
My all-time favorite first date was inexpensive, relaxed, and incredibly creative. We took his mototrcycle all around LA with a bagful of quarters going to every fountain we could find and then making a wish. It was fun, it was imaginative and unique as hell and it gave us time to talk without the pressure of sitting in a restaurant looking for things to talk about. We were on a mutual adventure.
It’s funny that you say this bc I once dated a guy who’d faint at the sight of blood, even when he got tests at drs. It’s a real medical problem but yeah, it was too much for me to deal with 25% of my life 😂
I really don’t understand how men can judge you for having sex when they are right there having sex with you. I mean it takes two! You can’t do it alone. It’s such a double standard!
I asked this of a man recently and his response was to ask me a question which was “ have you heard of the master lock and master key”? That is such bullshit and the stupidest thing I have ever heard in my life.
Men are such players it’s crazy what lengths they’ll go to sleep with you just to end up alone the next day, repeating the same cycle. Yet we wonder why there are so many broken women who don’t want children. God have mercy on us.
nah..its just that women do not present themselves as wife material...women rule the dating market and go through men like its nothing...these podcasts only keep women delusional
I was recently speaking to a guy who was pressuring me about being in a relationship. As soon as I mentioned that I want to wait before we get intimate, he started communicating less. I ignored him, deleted his numbers and moved on with my life.
Good for you. You know your worth. Wish I knew mine before I got intimate w guys and wasted my time with ones who were in it for the sex more than care for me, and weren't worth.
@@hyusuf4280 I didn’t always start off this way. Took years to work on it and to realise that I was compromising myself because I was desperately seeking love. Be gentle with yourself, forgive yourself and try again. Eventually setting boundaries and sticking to them will be easier ❤️
You did the right thing. You kept your dignity, head up high and valued yourself. No man is worth your body, soul, health to be destroyed. In Irak the family kills the girls when she had sex without a real marriage first. There are males who want just sex and fool her into TEMPIRARY MARRIAGES' where the girls fall into the trap, believing the marriage was a real marriage for life. The males make them believe they love her and want marriage. The paper is worthless and then he leaves her. If the family knows about this and she is not a virgin anymore and no man wants her because she is not virgin and allready USED by a man sexually, they kill her to preserve their honor. A girl there is also to old at 18 years old. No man wants an 18 year old for marriage. They want as young as 9, 19, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16 ( 16 is allready tricky ). This used girls have no option than to flee and become often indeed prostitutes. Men after man using her with tempirary marruages of 1 day, 1 month. She gets pregnant, she is more ruinef. Life is very hard and girls give their body, virginity, soul away and pay ALLWAYS A PRIZE and are ruined. USA and in some countries in Europe are giving bad examples on how to behave and conduct themselves. I see all dressed like easy prostitute- like fashion dolls. Behaving to loose. Its not the fault of women, but the economic life we have to make women objects.
What u are saying is 100% correct. There was a guy who chased me for a year despite me telling him im wasn’t interested. When I had a low moment in my life, he was there and I was touched and fell for him. Immediately when he got me , he used and dumped me. And cheated on me. I didn’t really understand why since he chased me for a year: then I also come to a realisation I was a checklist he has to achieve and he’s prob taking revenge too. So ladies.. pls open ur eyes and be cautious if a guy chase u for long. It’s not great love or what
20:40 TRUE! All of this is true! I was young and naive while in college. I was dating a guy with whom I worked during the summer in another state. He put the full court press on me, and after a few months, I agreed to get engaged…at which point he stopped. He said something akin to, he caught me, he doesn’t need to do any more work…there was no need to shower me with his attention. (I am NOT talking money! He had none! I was the one who had money to spend. I am talking rubbing my back, holding my hand while watching a movie at home curled up on the couch, taking walks in a park and stopping to watch the t-ball game…) I stayed until the beginning of the next summer, when I fortunately woke up and broke off the engagement. He wasn’t a bad guy, but he wasn’t for me!!! I met my husband 34 years ago, married 32, and he STILL showers me with his love, as I do him.
Then you still stick to your rules. Men aren't stupid. They learn from different women what works to get what want. They love chase so girl keep running until you want him to catch you 😊
I have to disagree that opposites attract. I really think compatibility and shared values are crucial for a relationship to work long term. I used to be with someone who was the opposite from me and it was such a struggle to get along. He didn’t understand my wants and needs and I couldn’t understand his without making a sacrifice each time we went and did anything together. Now I’m in a relationship with a man who has similar interests, goals and values and that actually ignites our chemistry each day and strengthens our connection. It’s working out beautifully.
I think dating takes too much energy nowadays because social media and pornography skews ppl’s perceptions of others. Also, many have low EQ’s and can not handle honesty, IMO. It is a different world.
It’s Babylon. That ancient pagan kingdom that just refuses to stay in the pit. This final beast will devour the entire earth and crush it as Daniel said. Then Jesus will finally return when satan proves he can’t make a utopia (return to the garden of eden) without God for the billionth time, and humanity will have a hard lesson to learn when we experience the horrors of tyranny for the trillionth time
5:20 No interest if on the period 7:24 Vague intentions 13:00 true love is instant 16:30 differentiation between instant true love and just chemistry or infatuation- they don’t dive deeper. They don’t know that person more. 19:00 the misinterpretation of a man chasing you When you’re really interested you chase as a woman. So you try ink it’s the same when it’s a man chasing May not mean he is actually serious about you 20:25 he chases and now he’s like it’s my turn he chases and the effort stops because he got what he wanted
Sometimes a person you have known for years changes in a bad way. It is very alarming and you wonder why has this happened? I have seen this in a few close friends even my husband, so I know this is very true. We have to sometimes Run or keep getting hurt. Just look out for yourself. I hope this helps. God bless us, He always helps us get over it.
This is great! My man respected that I wouldn’t jump into bed with him. We had that connection the moment we met and I felt so at ease with him, it was like I had known him forever. He kept asking me out and he’d say, “Hug? Hugs are nice, we should hug.” It was so sweet and really gave us time to get to know each other. Eight years and going strong.
@IDT- I’m sorry but I’m an older woman, 8 years is far too long to date the same man without a commitment. Young women please stop wasting all your youth 9n a man that can’t commit you you. Why buy the cow when he’s getting the milk for free. I truly hope you get what your looking for because you didn’t state you’re engaged..Access your relationship please and see who’s getting the short end of the stick.
I slept with my husband on the first date while he was going thru a divorce and neither of us were looking for a commitment. But we had so much fun with each other and he took me to dinner or a show on every date and always brought me flowers and little gifts on every date, plus called me every night, we fell into love very quickly! So he moved in with me rather quickly and we got married about 5 years later! We were together for over 30 years until he died in 2021. You just can't say that sex on the first date or having a fling will not ever lead to a serious longtime relationship!
@lala5061 Well, there are always exceptions, and I know two married couples who did sleep together within the first week. And I also know couples where it was months before they had sex, sex after marriage, etc, and there was infidelity, heartache, trials, etc,and one is divorced and the other still married. Let's keep it 💯 most men have the maturity of a 3 year old and a high level of hypocrisy when it comes to a woman having sex quickly with them. You have to move accordingly and do whats right for you! In the words of Samantha Jones from the old "Sex and the City" series. " Reality check. A guy can just as easily dump you if you fuck him on the first date as he can if you wait until the tenth."
Men should not date if they are not financially prepared. This means his priorities are not straight and he should just focus working or other financial building paths. A meal is not equivalent to sex. It’s totally degenerate.
women are out here in these streets...going out doing drugs drinking, selling sex on only fans, sleeping with multiple men, friendzoning men who are FINACIALLY PREPARED then come to these comment section pretending to be virtuous..men have finally woken up to the BS of the modern woman
If any woman ever has this take sex is all she's good for. Wanna know why? You're objectification of men is not any less distressing or dehumanizing, I'm just a coin machine for your self esteem, wallet and to bring fun. This isn't sustainable long term for any humans. Every relationship I had where someone cheated it was this setup. The reality is, we either both come with all our true selves, or we both objectify eachother and either get what we want transactionally or through illusion.
I feel so different about sex. I just CANT do that with someone I’m not in a committed, long term, we’re getting married/ married type relationship. It is so personal and can potentially affect my health if I’m not 1000% sure we are on the same page and want the same things. Now that I’m really thinking about it, I can’t even kiss someone if I don’t feel I’m heading in that direction 🤔 I feel like something is wrong with me, because I look at the germs, who they are, who else has he been kissing let alone the other-ahhhhh! The whole thing just freaks me out!
ME TOO! I feel the exact same way. I think there are a lot of people who are concerned about germs and STDs, but healthy relationships where you can ask questions like that aren't sensational enough or exciting enough to be part of modern media.
Honestly, a guy who tries to initiate sex too early is a turn off for most serious women. There are way too many men who are looking for a quick lay and will lie and manipualte as if they are serious to get there. As a man, you don't want to be in the same bucket and viewed as possibly one of those guys so taking time to build attraction, trust and then trying to ahve sex is the right way to go. You can go in for a kiss or if she is DEFINITELY showing signs then yes but sex sex is more.
In nature sex is making babies. Nowadays, people seem to forget that little 'twist'. Men think sex is for fun, a pass time thing, a thing you just do, a reason to get you laid with lies, manipulation, wrong intentions and so on. After paying you an icecream it seems that making babies is justified and if they do not 'get it' after 1 or 5 dates, or minutes, hours, weeks this men flip into nasty little assh@les. If nature intended NOT TO MAKE BABIES THIS WAY, well...then semen would not be produced every time in that regard. That way sex could potentially mean, it is just for 'some fun' purpose. But men seem to FORGET why sex exist in the first place. Or...they do not care. Which is also a big issue in this society, where babies need to be raised in very complex ways and survival. I think, most men do not want to raise all this babies they are producing while basically having sex with a woman. Women mostly they do not want even to marry... Women who basically are condamned to do it all alone by themselves if we all are honest. The nerves men have to go after sex is just mindblowing! They do nasty if they do not get it and nasty if they get it. Horrible. I know there are some men who are not jerks, but oooh boy...they are in the minority. Sorry if this post is to rough and verbal. Kind regards. It is crazy if you think about it really.
Every guy should look up the 12 stages of physical intimacy if he wants to lead properly. Saying "if she is DEFINITELY showing signs" isn't as helpful as "if she wasn't receptive to you putting your arm around her you definitely shouldn't go for a kiss." The only situation where I think serious seekers look like hookup seekers is probably dating apps (and virgins), since texting is such a time wasting activity they often try to get in person quickly which looks like disinterest in conversation. Like I think the real advice is "be respectful of boundaries," men should be escalating toward sex even as serious relationship seekers. Most high quality serious seeking men I know aren't getting passed over due to "appearing like hookup seekers" but because they aren't "chasing" and they also get stuck focusing effort toward situationships/friendzones because they aren't forcing the issue with escalation. Doing match+1 on the physical intimacy scale seems to me to be a no lose strategy: - If the escalation stops at a particular level for more than 1 date she isn't interested and you should discuss it or move on - If you mutually like each other the two of you connect physically faster, she feels chased and desired you get your sexual needs met, win-win - A man with access to sex is not going to jump into relationships solely for intimacy and is actually going to evaluate the relationship - The pace will be what she is comfortable with since you are waiting for her to match before going to the next stage - Respecting boundaries when you hit them has literally never backfired on me, I am still friends with some even if we stopped at 11/12 My hot take is that if you want to avoid hookups dating intentionally by pro-actively asking about their values and relationship goals before they can mirror yours, seeing how they react to boundaries, looking for mismatching words/actions, identifying love-bombing, not interested in dates just wants to go to his/your place, etc. is the best strategy. I am graysexual so sexual compatibility is important to me and I am quite upfront about that which is quite different from a bunch of vague sentiments that someone who is lying about being a LTR seeker gives. The majority of men I know who are focused on meaningless hookups have unresolved mental issues and low emotional intelligence so asking them how they feel in the moment or mentally checking what level of vulnerability they are showing might be an effective strategy.
I had guys fake whole relationships with me. I had a narcissist ex boyfriend who faked a 2 year relationship with me and he went as far as introduce me to his family and friends and even let me live in his house, he played the part very well and faked love. After 2 years he discarded me like I never ment anything to him and with no shame he paraded the woman he was cheating on me with. This man never loved me, he never fell in love with me and he did the same to the other woman. I've seen men married for years who ghost their wives. When are men going to stop this? These men are traumatizing women and building a generation of mistrust and pain.
The part about women's intuition is so validating. I've followed my intuition many times and second guessed myself, or been questioned by others and told I was making a mistake. But I knew.
I just want to warn ladies about what has happened to me. I had a couple of men who pretended to be inlove with me and tell me that they wanted a relationship with me and they would fake a whole relationship with me and when they felt things were getting serious like i would ask them that i wanted them to meet my family members then the men would disappear and cut all contract with me. Im warning women to never sleep with a man and make him wait until he marries you. These men can wait until you let them have your body. If i ever meet another man in the future s3x will be off the table. Im not giving wife benefits for a man to turn around and marry another woman.
How long do u honestly think a guy will wait? Think bout it from the guys perspective. You can get a sw for a few hundred dollars. If you wanna make a guy wait years, he will just give up on you.
Guys, if you do choose to 'make a sexual move' on a date, please please PLEASE make sure you do it in a time and place where the woman has a safe exit. Make her feel comfortable in saying no if she isn't ready. Example: making a move in a car in an isolated place that is far from her home screams 'he's going to kill me and dump my body in a ditch if I say no'. She will never want to see you ever again. Oppositely, asking in a car when you are about to drop her off at her destination feels much safer (to me) because if she is uncomfortable, she can leave without being stranded in an unknown place. Personally, I think it's disrespectful to ask about sex in the early stages of dating in the first place, but that's me and my high standards.
Or they can ask before making a move. That way both people are openly communicating and he's making sure he has her consent. I think men who ask for consent before making a move, even if it's just for a kiss, are gentlemen. I think the same goes for women; better to ask him for his consent too.
It isn't high standards at all. It is normal standards. Men have had centuries to gaslight women into believing their purpose is to be prostituted or used as broodmares. It isn't normal to talk about sex to people you don't know. What is normal is to ask questions about another's life and their hopes and dreams, to find a common ground. Personally, I find it annoying that men can't relax and enjoy themselves without obsessing about sex all the time. It's as if being an adult, you aren't allowed to have fun anymore. You're only allowed to engage in activities that have to do with f*cking. It's exhausting and dull. Where are the men who like to have fun? The ones who like to laugh and enjoy life? The ones who treat women as sisters first?
@@rtphotos4691 You're right, it's just decent human behaviour to not talk about sex with complete strangers. I'm always immediately turned off by guys who get too sexual in their mannerisms or talk when interacting with me. Like, dude, I don't even know you lol.
The truth of the matter is women and men love differently. For, most women she has to feel something for him. In order to sleep with him. Unlike the male. He does NOT have to feel anything for her before he sleeps with her. His emotions are not tied to his body!
This is true. For most women, there must be a heart connection to activate things "down there". There used to be a thing called romance. I'm old enough to remember it... meaning, seeing it in old movies and such.
women, females has have to learn at young age to protect themselves from males that only want to use them for sex. Males rare have had this experience or have to learn this lesson when they are growing up that is why this difference exists among other social constructs that female have to contend with that males will never have to. Dont think these ideas are automatic
@@Ace7of7Cups I suggest that all girls have locks on their bedroom door and sleep in a locked bedroom from their early teens to the time they leave the parental home, and then wherever they go such as college, have locks on their bedroom door. It will help them avoid a lot of potential trauma.
Signs he wants you for sex: 1. You see each other on his terms. 2. He only calls you in the evenings, late, or when it is dark. 3. You never hang out in the daytime he tries to avoid anything that could feel like a date. 4. You never met any of his family or friends. 5. His compliments are based on your appearance. 6. It always gets sexual in every conversation. 7. He never replies to you via text or ignores your calls until he wants something from you. 8. You never go on dates. 9. You feel lonely as soon it is over once the physical intimacy is over. 10. There is no foreplay or it's all about him. 11. He always leaves straight after or starts making excuses to exit. 12. He never asks you about yourself. 13. He is not committed to you. 14. He chats with other women. 15. He checks out other women(look at their body even in front of you) 16. You never have serious conversations. 17. He annoyed if you don't have sex. 18. He told you he doesn't want anything serious. 19. He tells you a lot of people ignore that or don't want to believe that. 20. He expects something in return for taking you out.
Absolutely correct I had to leave him where he was he just wanted booty call & try to get me pay for it. Becz I'm handicapped it's mad world. Becz I really cared now i.can date the one whom really care abt me
I'm over dating and I'm over men. Too much work that I'm tired of doing and getting no results or bad results. I'd rather be alone. I'm happier that way.
2:04:00 is triggering. Basically men will know from the beginning they do not want a future with a woman (well before intimacy) and still stay with her to reap the benefits of being with her. How cowardly. I can never get on board with a man choosing conveniently to disclose that a woman is not the one once he has extracted as much as possible. I see why more women are murdering their romantic partners these days. It's unfortunate. Lack of transparency, discipline and accountability of men is harmful to women.
I had the same thing happen as Lisa and her husband. They came in with a fling but my relationship came in with just a conversation with neither of us looking or wanting a relationship. The connection was clear during the 3rd conversation and we both felt it. OMG We were very serious in 30 days. So fast. That was 90 days ago. Oh, by the way we are 80 yrs old.
Truth. I CANNOT be involved with more than 1 guy. I've TRIED getting involved with 2 simultaneously... It's so NOT IN ME. It was TORTURE for me mentally & emotionally. 😒
Some folks might not agree and want to encourage me to keep looking for the one, but I've quit trying(and dating). Don't get me wrong, I don't think all men are jerks. But I'm just fed up with weeding out jerks, being manipulated, and getting dissapointed. There're things in life we're not good at no matter how hard we try, and I guess for me it's relationship. But it's ok though. I can still find happiness and pleasure in other aspects of life. Sex toys are diversified too.
I've met plenty of people who jumps into relationships based on infactution aka "love" at first sight. Regardless of how the relationship turns out, they took a high risk. There is no way to really know a person without spending time in many situations.
It's all about communication. All this trying to figure this and that out is just too complicated. No one is a mind reader. Honest communication is the key.
The 1st hour of conversation saddens me and confirms what I’ve seen just in the last 1 1/2 years of being in the dating world post divorce. It’s also the reason I stopped dating casually. The whole premise that dating is to find a person to sleep with is just disrespectful to real commitment. I’m convinced there needs to be a “casual hookup” pool and a “serious commitment” pool. The first encounter with someone should not be transactional to the point of us sniffing each other out for intercourse. It should be for genuine getting to know them and gauging compatibility or connection. There should not be expectations to get sex just because a guy pays for dinner or any other activity. Every time Stephan referenced “letting a guy know you’re on your period” statements I cringed. Nobody needs to know your biological functions unless you have made it clear mutually that that is what the encounter could lead to. All of these unspoken expectations lead to people feeling used or taken advantage of on both sides. This narrative has to change somewhere.
I wondered why there was no mention of a man who is serious about a relationship being fine with period sex. Stephan has clearly never been married. Mature, married men aren’t squeamish about blood, and will ask their partner if they’d rather snuggle on the couch watching a movie, or have sex, and be fine with whichever makes her feel best.
@@AndiAlexander1 Stephan has been married once, a long time ago. I remember him mentioning it in one of his videos. I have only watched a handful of them.
If you can enjoy life and welcome someone into your vibe, they can do the same. He is using a lot of blaming women instead of considering two individuals who have a chance to WEL COME SOME ONE intro their world. Each person is a world and they have to negotiate a or realize they are copacetic. . .or not.
Me too! A man told me one day he was madly truly in love. He did not make any moves to even touch her, pushing her, making sexual remarks, not this and not that, because he said...if i do something innapropiate, stupid i could push her away and lose her! Other women i did not really liked and where he had no feelings for, he would touch them in a few minutes or hours, quickly, being arrogant, cocky, verbally obscene, pushy, easy offended when rejected. But his real love for that girl made him very cautiuos, so she would not get stressed, scared, uncomfortable, rejecting him. Go figure. We women accept so much stress and being tyranized. We should be the ones who push back men very hard at each attempt to run us over and abusing us or disrespecting us. Better, after the first bad sign, run and never engage with that man. Normally your gut tells you...
Of course, they will wait; the alternative is loss...or _rape._ They will also gladly and eagerly engage, if she is willing. That said, never _assume_ that a _patient_ man is inherently a _good_ man. Wellness & Love to you all.🤍
@@BL3SSed-Bliss once they know they have you in their hands. They can easily be as disrespectful as a rap*st. And i see no difference between a “husband” and a “rapist” If they both act impulsively and disrespectfully. It matters how fast you get rid of them. Actually. It’s your time that is being wasted not theirs.
I got love bombed first time ever. I had just got out of a 16 year relationship and wanted to take things slow. He was calling, texting me, i was too, i will take accountability. Right after we alept together he compltely changed, said lets take things slow now. Found out he was back on the dating website within hours. My friend told me, I was so upset, called him out on it. He blamed me and said the last date was so weird and it was because he told me on Valentines Day he still had feelings for his ex which btw I had asked him on 4 different dates are you looking for something serious and do you still have feelings for someone? He said once we slept together the closer we got the more I reminded him of her. I was so mad at myself, for believing that bullshit. If men could juat be honest and say 'hey, I am just looking to have sex'. It would be so much easier but no, they have to lie constantly. I am.done dating.
A cheap date can really take off the pressure and help focus on getting to know someone. Went on a coffee date guy made it clear he just wanted sex . It felt so comfortable to walk away and saying good luck with things. No one wasted resources.
Girl please. Whilst you are worried about wasting his resources he had no issue with wasting your time. You might as well have had coffee at home and FaceTimed him. The bar is in he|| sheesh 😅😴
@@gailainsley6939 well you have to put time into anything you want. every relationship has a beginning you won't know until you put yourself out there to find the right person. trust me it was a very brief coffee date it didn't take long to realize we weren't a good fit. I would rather be told the truth of his intentions instead of a lie. yes he could have just messaged me with out a coffee date and that would have been great.
Dating is not used for sex it's to get to know someone you interested in and if it doesn't work out move on but if the both of you are compatible it's best to marry.
Subtle distinction about the chasing. When a man is serious about you, he will pursue you. Simple as that. If he's too hurt from previous relationships, then he needs therapy for that and you can't fix that and shouldn't try. In my humble experience, if a man likes a woman, no matter what, he will call, ask her out, etc. BUT there is a distinction between chasing her relentlessly and proper, respectful pursuit.
Yes, but sometimes they are reeling from the chance of a new opportunity and have to get their conviction completely in order. They have to actually make high-level decisions about life and what they want and consider her and what would be only fair to ask from her.
YES! Thank you for saying that! I understand some people may be hurt from their past, but the result of talking to someone hurt from the past and someone who is a player is the same. You feel alone, ignored, and there is no relationship. They need healing
True, I agree, but some men nowadays just will not ask a woman for their phone number because they would rather that she call the number on his business card.
@@IVvOOvVI Yes, *_far too many_** feminine, beta, and/or non-initiating males exist today.* *Personally, I could never bother with those types; but, to each- her own.*
TBF- it's not always pain/hurt, not always that deep. Many times, it is simple *_insecurity._* Sometimes, that is because he knows that she is too far out of his league.
He lost me multiple times with the double standards, but listening to this while sleeping helped me absorb the reality that engaging in relationships is a giant waste of energy.
This conversation gave me a different perspective. People are complicated, holding back something good because of fear. As for me, expressing my honesty is what I'm comfortable with and it's up to the person if he will reciprocate and I'm fine otherwise. Hope we find what we're looking for.
Right I have this situationship with this guy I was waiting for him to tell me if we will be bf and gf and he never ask me nothing he instead told me I'm a stupid woman for not getting it. Like 3 years dating him as a friend and I did the move I told him I like him and I had feelings for him and he say he didn't want nothing to do with me. And then afterwards he was so attentive and shit that just confuse me and he annoys me now I don't feel like even keep him as a friend.
@@lluviacatalan5203 I had something similar happen to me. Cut all ties with him. You can't keep him as a friend because real friends will tell you the truth. Cut all ties. It's better that way.
Great reminders. My ideal first date: A Sunday afternoon, walking in a park or bike path. Then a snack or ice cream. This way, there is NO expectation of Dinner & sex, or me going back to your place. I let it be known PRIOR to seeing each other in person that I DONT kiss on the first date. Took pressure off & we can just focus on getting to know each other. I knew if they didn’t try to kiss me until date 3 or 4 that they really LIKED me for me and we could actually build a good foundation that’s required.
Exactly! I can’t stand making it clear that I don’t want any touching on the first date and since the date was pleasant they believe its okay to intercept me on my way out of the vehicle while putting a halitosis mouth on mine and pressing an erection into my abdomen. Then saying, “I do have a gun but I left it at home”. Dating now can be so gross
Talk about it before you order food, good communication is the key. Dating is so easy, all your doing is trying to get to know each other and share some time together and be friends first. Stop listening to coaches and online instructors, act normal and be yourself.
Facts...that's what I say forget what everyone talking about and these lists...if u just be yourself and other people just be themselves it would be so easy to pick someone u really can be with for real 🤦🏽♀️
Trust your gut. If you think something is off, slow the relationship down or end it. I had a date and never felt his name was right when I said it. I soon found out he was a classA player/narc. Dumped.
So much of this was maddening. Guys need to END relationships themselves instead of putting it on the women to break up, no excuses guys. This is just extremely immature and it is MANIPULATIVE. Grow up and stop making excuses for them it’s disgusting
42:26 Thank you so much for saying this! Because I've always been taught, you can't love someone if you've only just met them, but I can honestly say, that I have had love for others after meeting them and I truly care but it's for my fellow man. Or, most likely out of admiration. I have at this point, not ever truly fallen "in love" with a man, nor given anyone an opportunity to "fall in love" with me. I love this bit of clarity
Being Respectful, Hearing The Person Out, and Taking a step back from conversations that may create a hault on where you are at is important. Too many people put on their best faces but fail to keep up with whom they've presented.
Loved this. As far as the fifty fifty thing. If we talk over the phone before the date you can simply ask the other person if they are traditional or modern. We can have those conversations before we go out to avoid confusion etc.
This is good information. Honesty is necessary. Brutal honesty is something different and can be disrespectful or abusive. Brutal honesty is not needed.
This! I absolutely hate when brutally honest people are like "But I'm just being real and honest." No, they're being an ass by not considering the other person's feelings. There is a way to be both kind and honest.
That’s so great you mentioned you fall in love right away instead of love happening over time. That’s what happened with my bf and I . We met . Felt an instant connection . We both felt like we always known each other forever but obviously we just met. We for about 8 hours straight the first day. Then everyday after ever since. But we both knew right away. We knew within the first few days in the first week. I tired to talk myself out of what I felt for him and he thought he was just as crazy for feeling in love too. We are way past our high school days . Both have kids that are in their 20’s so we thought this is just crazy . The connection was so strong between us immediately . It was actually really sweet , cute and funny that we both thought we must be crazy for both of us knowing this is the one right away . I thought ok I’m in love but this is just way too soon . He told me he loved me within the first 2 weeks. He said he just knew right away after we met . The funny part is I never told him that I knew right way too and tried to talk myself out of it thinking this is just crazy . He never told me he was thinking the same thing about himself. We both had that conversation a about knowing right away few months later . It’s been two years now that we’ve been together . We both want to spend our lives with each other. We had conversations about the fact we never thought something like this would ever happen like it did. Where you meet , have an intense deep connection and fall in love that quick . But it did. Stephen ,You are 100 percent correct about how real love works . It is right away .
If it was so intense, why haven't you married? It's been 2 yrs. After 2 weeks he told you he loved you, and you commented like you've won the lottery.....and your not children....so why aren't you married?
@@passionflower522 she probably is rejoicing over his potential and not the true him. She is still in her feelings are not in her right mind.only time will tell if marriage is in the cards.
I love the way this guy speaks! He is so smart! Thank you for existing to explain to clarify so many things! I do appreciate him a lot! And Lisa is a sweetheart ❤! Thank you for inviting Stephan!
I appreciate this so much. I'm dating a guy who I know we're both scared of getting hurt. He pulls away and that spirals my insecurities because of my 26 year marriage to a true narcissist. But yes, there are serial daters. I knew someone who used to do breakfast lunch and dinner dates with all different men. That free meal is a real thing out there. I was completely unaware until I would date someone after they'd been hit.
I have learned so many lessons watching this. Just saw a post where a man asked a woman out for ice cream & she turned him down. I say that was a gentleman gesture. She thought he was being cheap.
I can understand women being drawn to this man and thinking they have a connection with him. It’s because he is so authentic that you feel you know him and can trust him. When a man has true genuine integrity, authenticity, and respect within himself, it allows women that sense of safety and security that is so lacking from many relationships today.
Bro. When he said that compatibility had to do with social constructs, I was floored! I am in total agreement. It was such a great conversation. I'm glad I watched. Thank you for the content.
What is missing in the first 30 min is the importance of open transparant respectful communication. Men and woman are no mind readers and we schould not spent our precious life energy on guessing what the other person is meaning to say.
Excellent interview. It came up randomly and I was hooked. This guy is very smart. I’ve dated enough where I KNOW his words are true. Plus the part where it took time made me a little sad. But it’s true. I’m spiritual as well.
I’m so happy I heard this today. I’m divorced and saw the red flags but thought things would change. My heart was screaming no, but I had no one to talk with. I thought about his feelings not mine.
His most astute point was the reference to connection going "BOTH WAYS" and that if you think you're into someone but they aren't into you there is no connection. You are in lust. You are being hopeful, wishful, living in fantasy. You don't have a genuine connection with the person. So if he ghosts you, disappears after sex, talks about not wanting something serious etc, just take this as the knowledge that you were wrong about your own feelings. You mislabeled something lustful as genuine connection. This will help you move along faster. I've had what I thought were connections with men who ended up being totally full of it. They would demonstrate the truth of it and once I see it I kindly move on. Don't think about him. Don't wonder. Don't worry. Just let whatever image of him you have in your mind go and realized that he discovered the truth before you.
Great video, there is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship, I learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago I and my wife divorced because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together ,it was a really bad phase but we got through it
there is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things
@@DarylSimpson58 its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is SHELLY RENEE WHITE.
This is so true. I like what he said about real love don't take a long time. To be honest the spiritual connection is confirmation that person is the one. Great video 💯
I had to leave a comment because I am in the dating world and it’s rough out here. You just gave me a completely different perspective when it comes to meeting at a park or a Starbucks or getting frozen yogurt I have always had a rule that I am not about to take the time and energy to get dressed to meet anyone for those type of dates I either meet for breakfast, lunch, or dinner, but listening to the way you laid that out I will definitely be More Open to experiencing those type of dates. Thank you for that perspective.
Yes.trying to get passed this situation right now Younger man ot hurts worse than I've ever bee. Hurt. Illnever start seeing anyone again. I should have known better. He sorta made it clear at first je didn't want a relationship but then got to close
@user-xr2lr9wj5s I understand 🤗 just remember to listen to what the man is saying and believe it when he says he's not looking for a relationship, u just gotta believe that...u keep the ssme energy he has nothing more...
A wealthy woman would never waste their time only for a ´´free meal´´ .I´m super hegemonic and wealthy, of course, I wouldn´t accept a meal from a guy that does not like me, because that would be eating in front an ugly man, responding to answers, investing in dress, make-up, hair, for one meal? No thank you... I rather go alone to eat like Meelena from Mortal Kombat, with any man watching with lust at me while I eat my pizza. If a man can´t afford a meal, well... he is not even ready to date, or starting a family...sorry .. but´s a big red flag
This Lisa keep bringing 'male dating coaches' to a podcast called 'women of impact'. They have no credentials. Why doesn't she bring female dating coaches who know the game? Just because women listen better if its a man telling them?
All of this analysis is extremely validating. However, ultimately, we have no better solutions to love than Shakespeare did. It is unpredictable and elusive. The more questions are answered, the more arise. That being said, I LOVE it all. I could listen to you two forever. Your insights are fascinating. I wish they could solve dating problems as big as mine.
I do not have sex just for having sex ~ when he dumped me I finally woke up it deeply hurt but it was a lesson learned ~ I have not been interested in relationship and I don't need the B S ~ Thank you Jesus
_Of-sort._ Truthfully, though, he chose the right field and role/position. He's not totally objective, and gets quite personal; he responds from experience-based wisdom, not [scholastic] educated analysis. His approach is _great_ as a coach _(but not_ meant for _psychology)._ It helps him to garner/gain more trust from those who want to feel understood through relatability. Of course he can go to school for formal training and a degree in psychology, to expand his practice, if he so wishes/d. I'd deem him a good candidate!
Thanks to you and your channel I can no longer be f***ed with. He’s never going to get help, so I’m gone for good. He can play his games with her, his children, and their moms. 💪🏻
Wish I knew this in my younger years...but hey better late than never...I found out all of this in my mid 40s...it is so true that men are NOT complicated...they either like you and wanna be with you or they just trying to get some booty....it's just that simple....I learned to wait at least 90 days before having sex....and during that 90 day period pay attention to how often they call you, wanna be with you etc...but dont give it up before 90 days, that's a quick way to weed out those SOBs.
It is refreshing to hear the genuine perspective of a spiritually mature male. You touched on so many deeper points. If there is CONNECTION, satisfaction can be worked out on every level. Masturbation distracts you from what is sacred about the sexual energy exchange between 2 people and only satisfies empty instant gratification, etc., etc. The only thing I don't think was covered enough was how detrimental pornography can be to EVERYONE involved. It takes away the fun and adventure naturally created by the connection with our partner. And we forget that those actors are people, wounded souls that lack self-love, being objectified for money. I believe an open mind is vital, but even more so, a feeling heart that knows intuitively the loving direction that humanity is evolving.
WARNING: I will never ask for your contact info in the comments section, that is someone impersonating me!
Bring Kev Hick to your show.
He's also a relationship coach but actually married and with kids.
Has a lot of valuable insight
Dates change expectations. Just communicate, talk, discuss life, values, manners, . Be honest.
Be real.. Respect first. Stop the ideas of getting instant gratification, flings, affairs, etc..
Make enough TIME to get to know that NEW PERSON. FIRST.
ASK QUESTIONS. BE REAL.
IS IT POSSIBLE??
Men must ask her if it is possible.
Ask her. He must Ask her if she is attracted to him.
Career style. What are your dreams to how & where She wants to live. ???
Stop being desperate in dating..
I simply say: I don't fornicate.
I'm not casual, a friend with benefits, a booty call. Not fornicating sends them running but fast! Some say they are cool with it because it comes off as a challenge for their ego. I will be without a man for the rest of my life if I have to be. I will NEVER compromise my standards again for anyone.
I am a man and never had premartial sex and dont plan to and I start my relationships with that being said in the first convo. This i massively respect cause I find alot of women are also not comfortable with not having sex until marriage.
Agreed.
@@zerotoanime3953 I’m glad and relieved you said this. I’m a virgin, and I ain’t compromising for no one. I will stay by myself if I have to..and have been all my life. It don’t make no difference to me at the moment.
Sameeeeeee I can go manless for life a man is honestly a headache
This!!! The peace and self respect is priceless!!
Im so done with dating. Its a mad world out there. Im going to heal and let faith to guide me.
Same
Me too...
Hey my love what's wrong with dating
@@deenabpeacelovebryant9122 Trust issues now. Healing time and trusting that it'll happen when the time is right.
Healing and loving ourselves has a lot to do with who we attract to us.
@@catherinegorter8211 I so agree have you ever read this book called trust. It's a great read
When my husband and I were dating, the first time I had my period, and didn't feel like going out, he went by the store, and got me chocolate and provisions, asked if I feel up to hanging out and watching movies. We are still married. 23 years happily married (with work). 💓💓
❤
That's something good to start with
Things have changed a lot in 23 years. Thanks to Internet and porn. Now, men believe that they have many other easy options so they don't bother committing. I wish you continued happiness and love ❤️❤️
@@joanofarcxxi yes chef ñot fkeaßh man teçhkgy ribot teçhgy implates called nurliñk like bibke but tyoe 5 ouree gid rebke fool oeiff
@@joanofarcxxinot when its the right man and he really wants you. The man that really wants you will show you 1000 percent
The problem is that he won't just state that he's in it for sex. That's what is disingenuous about it. And lying by omission is still lying. It's still INTENTIONAL misleading someone to get what you want at their detriment.
I have thought about that a lot but never came to that full on conclusion until now, or maybe I have and just was willing to be used, in a way, before learning all this other stuff he said.
some men go round and round in circles dropping hints but woman can't filter it sometimes...so before women jump the gun..assume he's not really interested
If a man truly respects you, wants to get to know you because he wants to have something more than just a sexual relationship, he’ll wait. Communication & getting to know someone deeply can be very intimate. You are worth it!
This days this guy's use money to use woman...
7:36
That’s why I’m engaged to my man ❤
My husband just wanted a fling and I wasn’t really interested in a relationship either. After about 4 weeks we both fell in love with each other. After 10 years of dating, we were married for 35 years. He passed away last year. I miss him terribly
wow
My deepest condolences.
I'm so sorry for your loss.😢
Sending you blessings 🤍🕯️
My condolences 🙏 This shows that relationships have no laws. Allow God direct you
All of these traps and illusions you have to avoid just to have a man around is exhausting. Make peace with being single until you meet a decent man that doesn't play mindgames, games of manipulation.
wroñg illusions are mag9cal creaters
Peace being single 💯🔥
Been waiting 24 years post divorce
Not always so easy as I married a con man so learning as much as possible
@@AngelEyes-xm7elthat’s a very long time.
Guys trying to have sex with me in exchange for the price of dinner is the exact reason why I don't date. Don't treat me like a cheap whore, or more accurately, a dog who will roll over and let you pet them in exchange for food. I find it SO OFFENSIVE, INSULTING, and SCARY that a man would think I would be willing to give a husband level privilege to a man I've just barely met.
Don't let a few bad apples spoil the bunch.
All due... You sound incredibly damaged to say that you don't date [hard stop], simply because of a few bad experiences.
Perhaps, though, that is an indication that you're just not prepared to do so, yet.
Wishing you healing, fortitude, a strong voice & personal empowerment, Hailey. 🙏🏽
I met this guy at the airport and since he had the same layover as mine (I had a room with 2 beds, he had to sleep on the floor) I told him he could use the spare bed. Long story short. He bought me a Mc Donalds, and we had sex, I had to go back to Mexico where I was living at the time and he had to go back to Europe. Two years later he asked me to marry him. Moral of the story: live freely, have fun, and spontaneous things are the best, not a coincidence that all the guys I slept with "too soon" for many lady's standards, begged me to see each other again.
Do you want to be taken seriously? It doesn't matter if you sleep with the guy for 1 hour or 1 month. Be a woman who has other interests in life, real ones, sparkles in your eyes when talking about them, the things that make you a COMPLETE person whether you have a man on your side or not. Men, the good ones, know this, they can smell you do not need them at all and there u go. I never had a one-night stand as they always wanted to see me and ended up in long-term relationships where they were the most attached.
Did I meet guys who only wanted sex? sure! But the thing with these guys is not even the red flags, I immediately can't feel any connection. That's my only red flag. Even after 1 hour of talking it becomes very obvious.
@@ClayMey - How did you actually date the man who asked you to marry him after two years? Did you move to Europe or did he move to Mexico?
@@rtphotos4691 I had to go to Europe in Berlin for a conference and we met and it all started. Was crazy and he asked me to give us a try. And I moved back to Europe (I'm from Italy) so a couple of hours away, and it did work as we moved in together pretty quickly and the rest is history. PS, I did NOT give up my life and my dreams for him. I moved a lot and could work from anywhere in the world and he's also working on being able to work remotely as this is also his dream, in the meantime, Covid aside we took adventurous trips and I also traveled solo, so all good, we trust each other :)
Or you just ask men out yourself & then they’re not buying you. You don’t have to not date in order to not be used. Just don’t let ppl control you.
I'm a widow now, and have been since 2015 and I don't date because men these days would rather go after women that will have sex with them right off the bat, they don't want to get to know you and it's not just the younger ones the older are worse.
of course the older are worse. They are usually already stubborn and stuck in their ways
@@Ace7of7CupsYESSSSSSS
Wise woman.
So true
Yup the older ones. They won't change and be fixed. End it and eventually all females will get tired of them and they won't have anyone put up and accept it. They will be lonely and deserve to be alone forever. Maybe they had their prime when they got any females with sweet talks but we females are so much smarter now and know exactly what we want. Females don't put up with bs anymore. We females have so much more power than we know it. We just need to know how and learn to act on it and stand on it. Be firm and willing to walk away and never look back.
I knew on the first date that I wanted to marry my future husband. I was 15, and he was 17. We married at 18 and 20. We were happily married for 51 years and 4 days. We dated 3 years off and on, on mostly. I believe that you can know without a doubt when your right person shows up in your life.
I have been a widow for 7 years. I have dated only a few men a few times with no connection. I met a man 4 months ago and we hit it off with that same intensity as with my sweetheart in my youth. We talk about everything. Right now I pray we are still wanting to be together next year and still growing the relationship.
That's old school unfortunately men do not do that anymore
Amazing! Pray to our Lord Jesus that if he is for you to bring him closer to you and if he's not for you to push him away from you. God only knows what's best and He's never wrong.
thats 1970 t8me liñg goid overs
There's a certain vintage where people were made of better stuff I believe, like you.
Here it is a year later, and we are still together.
My all-time favorite first date was inexpensive, relaxed, and incredibly creative. We took his mototrcycle all around LA with a bagful of quarters going to every fountain we could find and then making a wish. It was fun, it was imaginative and unique as hell and it gave us time to talk without the pressure of sitting in a restaurant looking for things to talk about. We were on a mutual adventure.
Aww, that does sound really sweet and fun.
So fun! 🤩
And that never turned into a relationship or it was a short term fling.
Because inexpensive motorcycle dates scream playboy
@@redleeks6253 right
What a non date. You drove around and tossed quarters in a fountain and he got you to rub up against him. Very unsafe. Nope
Men who are so uncomfortable with women's periods should be avoided in any case.
It’s funny that you say this bc I once dated a guy who’d faint at the sight of blood, even when he got tests at drs. It’s a real medical problem but yeah, it was too much for me to deal with 25% of my life 😂
I never met a man that was uncomfortable with periods
It's laaighable. That is a kid. Men dont give a fuck aboit periods.
As in what
@@scarletsletter4466 a
Honest communication between both parties is so vitally important.
Like Grettle. Put a stick out first to test it.
When there’s nO communication it’s useless💁🏻♀️
If he has bad intentions from the start the honesty is very questionable.
women dont want honesty...
I really don’t understand how men can judge you for having sex when they are right there having sex with you. I mean it takes two! You can’t do it alone. It’s such a double standard!
I asked this of a man recently and his response was to ask me a question which was “ have you heard of the master lock and master key”? That is such bullshit and the stupidest thing I have ever heard in my life.
@@lauras2046 and you know where that saying comes from. The nation of Islam. He has rhetoric from a bunch of crazy mentally ill fools.
@@lauras2046this is an objectifying response. No empathy
@@lauras2046narcissistic people alwaysssss are full of excuses and nonsensical analogies 😂
Master key? WTF are these dudes smoking 😂😂😂
It will always be a double standard.
GOD knows how grateful I am to have come across this video!!! God bless everyone tuning in! @Lisa and Stephen are amazing for this !!
Men are such players it’s crazy what lengths they’ll go to sleep with you just to end up alone the next day, repeating the same cycle. Yet we wonder why there are so many broken women who don’t want children. God have mercy on us.
nah..its just that women do not present themselves as wife material...women rule the dating market and go through men like its nothing...these podcasts only keep women delusional
You left with a curse and hardship 😢😢😢
I was recently speaking to a guy who was pressuring me about being in a relationship. As soon as I mentioned that I want to wait before we get intimate, he started communicating less. I ignored him, deleted his numbers and moved on with my life.
Good for you. You know your worth. Wish I knew mine before I got intimate w guys and wasted my time with ones who were in it for the sex more than care for me, and weren't worth.
@@hyusuf4280 I didn’t always start off this way. Took years to work on it and to realise that I was compromising myself because I was desperately seeking love. Be gentle with yourself, forgive yourself and try again. Eventually setting boundaries and sticking to them will be easier ❤️
You did the right thing.
You kept your dignity, head up high and valued yourself.
No man is worth your body, soul, health to be destroyed.
In Irak the family kills the girls when she had sex without a real marriage first.
There are males who want just sex and fool her into TEMPIRARY MARRIAGES' where the girls fall into the trap, believing the marriage was a real marriage for life. The males make them believe they love her and want marriage.
The paper is worthless and then he leaves her. If the family knows about this and she is not a virgin anymore and no man wants her because she is not virgin and allready USED by a man sexually, they kill her to preserve their honor.
A girl there is also to old at 18 years old. No man wants an 18 year old for marriage.
They want as young as 9, 19, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16 ( 16 is allready tricky ).
This used girls have no option than to flee and become often indeed prostitutes. Men after man using her with tempirary marruages of 1 day, 1 month.
She gets pregnant, she is more ruinef.
Life is very hard and girls give their body, virginity, soul away and pay ALLWAYS A PRIZE and are ruined.
USA and in some countries in Europe are giving bad examples on how to behave and conduct themselves. I see all dressed like easy prostitute- like fashion dolls.
Behaving to loose.
Its not the fault of women, but the economic life we have to make women objects.
@@heide-raquelfuss5580so, men could set a woman up to have her killed.
So disgusting that men want to have sex with children
That’s awesome! He wasn’t worth your time.
What u are saying is 100% correct. There was a guy who chased me for a year despite me telling him im wasn’t interested. When I had a low moment in my life, he was there and I was touched and fell for him. Immediately when he got me , he used and dumped me. And cheated on me. I didn’t really understand why since he chased me for a year: then I also come to a realisation I was a checklist he has to achieve and he’s prob taking revenge too. So ladies.. pls open ur eyes and be cautious if a guy chase u for long. It’s not great love or what
Been through this it’s horrible
Yup cause a real man will respect that a woman just don’t want him
If he not taking hints
Your his agenda
I think I’m going through this now 😢
@@breonnaalexander4300 sorry to hear that. You can break away and heal ❤️
I'm so so sorry, what a bastard, don't worry he'll get what's coming to him. Scum like that always pay in the end
20:40 TRUE! All of this is true! I was young and naive while in college. I was dating a guy with whom I worked during the summer in another state. He put the full court press on me, and after a few months, I agreed to get engaged…at which point he stopped. He said something akin to, he caught me, he doesn’t need to do any more work…there was no need to shower me with his attention. (I am NOT talking money! He had none! I was the one who had money to spend. I am talking rubbing my back, holding my hand while watching a movie at home curled up on the couch, taking walks in a park and stopping to watch the t-ball game…)
I stayed until the beginning of the next summer, when I fortunately woke up and broke off the engagement.
He wasn’t a bad guy, but he wasn’t for me!!! I met my husband 34 years ago, married 32, and he STILL showers me with his love, as I do him.
Lots of men will say they are looking for serious or marriage to get you to move faster. It happens more and more now.
yep. they'll toss in that they're "men of God" too, smh.
Then you still stick to your rules. Men aren't stupid. They learn from different women what works to get what want. They love chase so girl keep running until you want him to catch you 😊
I have to disagree that opposites attract. I really think compatibility and shared values are crucial for a relationship to work long term. I used to be with someone who was the opposite from me and it was such a struggle to get along.
He didn’t understand my wants and needs and I couldn’t understand his without making a sacrifice each time we went and did anything together. Now I’m in a relationship with a man who has similar interests, goals and values and that actually ignites our chemistry each day and strengthens our connection. It’s working out beautifully.
Right. If you are a clean freak and married to Mac nasty it’s an issue
Kristine J thank you!!
💯
❤
❤
I think dating takes too much energy nowadays because social media and pornography skews ppl’s perceptions of others. Also, many have low EQ’s and can not handle honesty, IMO. It is a different world.
A world of hell. A loveless world is hell
Low EQ's, low IQ's too and low EVERYTHING.
@@Trisof88agree
It’s Babylon. That ancient pagan kingdom that just refuses to stay in the pit. This final beast will devour the entire earth and crush it as Daniel said. Then Jesus will finally return when satan proves he can’t make a utopia (return to the garden of eden) without God for the billionth time, and humanity will have a hard lesson to learn when we experience the horrors of tyranny for the trillionth time
@melbaT2770,you know u right age hardly does anything fir anybody ,I think it's the time,it has change,A different world 😢
5:20 No interest if on the period
7:24 Vague intentions
13:00 true love is instant
16:30 differentiation between instant true love and just chemistry or infatuation- they don’t dive deeper. They don’t know that person more.
19:00 the misinterpretation of a man chasing you
When you’re really interested you chase as a woman. So you try ink it’s the same when it’s a man chasing
May not mean he is actually serious about you
20:25 he chases and now he’s like it’s my turn
he chases and the effort stops because he got what he wanted
THANK YOUUU
Well done. Thanks
True love is instant😳😂😂🤦🏽♂️, now that’s funny!
Sometimes a person you have known for years changes in a bad way. It is very alarming and you wonder why has this happened? I have seen this in a few close friends even my husband, so I know this is very true. We have to sometimes Run or keep getting hurt. Just look out for yourself. I hope this helps. God bless us, He always helps us get over it.
True love is never instant. Throw that one out it's A LIE
This is great! My man respected that I wouldn’t jump into bed with him. We had that connection the moment we met and I felt so at ease with him, it was like I had known him forever. He kept asking me out and he’d say, “Hug? Hugs are nice, we should hug.” It was so sweet and really gave us time to get to know each other. Eight years and going strong.
Who is the girl? Is she the hostess? Because this is definitely not an interview or a conversation because he's talking the whole time so I'm curious.
@IDT- I’m sorry but I’m an older woman, 8 years is far too long to date the
same man without a commitment. Young women please stop wasting all
your youth 9n a man that can’t commit you you. Why buy the cow when he’s
getting the milk for free. I truly hope you get what your looking for because
you didn’t state you’re engaged..Access your relationship please and see who’s
getting the short end of the stick.
@@sexylexieright 😂 like that literally made no Sense to me. That's way too long I'm sorry
I slept with my husband on the first date while he was going thru a divorce and neither of us were looking for a commitment. But we had so much fun with each other and he took me to dinner or a show on every date and always brought me flowers and little gifts on every date, plus called me every night, we fell into love very quickly! So he moved in with me rather quickly and we got married about 5 years later! We were together for over 30 years until he died in 2021. You just can't say that sex on the first date or having a fling will not ever lead to a serious longtime relationship!
There are always exceptions, but in the majority of cases, it doesn't lead to marriage
@@MT-hk9cpfacts it don't
Obviously your case is called the exception to the rule. Don’t you know that?
It’s not typical nine times out of ten it doesn’t lead to marriage.
@lala5061 Well, there are always exceptions, and I know two married couples who did sleep together within the first week. And I also know couples where it was months before they had sex, sex after marriage, etc, and there was infidelity, heartache, trials, etc,and one is divorced and the other still married.
Let's keep it 💯 most men have the maturity of a 3 year old and a high level of hypocrisy when it comes to a woman having sex quickly with them. You have to move accordingly and do whats right for you!
In the words of Samantha Jones from the old "Sex and the City" series.
" Reality check. A guy can just as easily dump you if you fuck him on the first date as he can if you wait until the tenth."
Men should not date if they are not financially prepared. This means his priorities are not straight and he should just focus working or other financial building paths. A meal is not equivalent to sex. It’s totally degenerate.
No way
A meal will NEVER B EQUAL TO SEX
R U KIDDING ME
2023
Very well said.❤
Thank you💛😍
women are out here in these streets...going out doing drugs drinking, selling sex on only fans, sleeping with multiple men, friendzoning men who are FINACIALLY PREPARED then come to these comment section pretending to be virtuous..men have finally woken up to the BS of the modern woman
If any woman ever has this take sex is all she's good for.
Wanna know why? You're objectification of men is not any less distressing or dehumanizing, I'm just a coin machine for your self esteem, wallet and to bring fun.
This isn't sustainable long term for any humans. Every relationship I had where someone cheated it was this setup.
The reality is, we either both come with all our true selves, or we both objectify eachother and either get what we want transactionally or through illusion.
I feel so different about sex. I just CANT do that with someone I’m not in a committed, long term, we’re getting married/ married type relationship. It is so personal and can potentially affect my health if I’m not 1000% sure we are on the same page and want the same things. Now that I’m really thinking about it, I can’t even kiss someone if I don’t feel I’m heading in that direction 🤔 I feel like something is wrong with me, because I look at the germs, who they are, who else has he been kissing let alone the other-ahhhhh! The whole thing just freaks me out!
ME TOO! I feel the exact same way. I think there are a lot of people who are concerned about germs and STDs, but healthy relationships where you can ask questions like that aren't sensational enough or exciting enough to be part of modern media.
Same!!!
You guys are not alone. I feel the same way.
Same here.
Hahaha I get you girl 😅😅
Honestly, a guy who tries to initiate sex too early is a turn off for most serious women. There are way too many men who are looking for a quick lay and will lie and manipualte as if they are serious to get there. As a man, you don't want to be in the same bucket and viewed as possibly one of those guys so taking time to build attraction, trust and then trying to ahve sex is the right way to go. You can go in for a kiss or if she is DEFINITELY showing signs then yes but sex sex is more.
In nature sex is making babies.
Nowadays, people seem to forget that little 'twist'.
Men think sex is for fun, a pass time thing, a thing you just do, a reason to get you laid with lies, manipulation, wrong intentions and so on.
After paying you an icecream it seems that making babies is justified and if they do not 'get it' after 1 or 5 dates, or minutes, hours, weeks this men flip into nasty little assh@les.
If nature intended NOT TO MAKE BABIES THIS WAY, well...then semen would not be produced every time in that regard. That way sex could potentially mean, it is just for 'some fun' purpose.
But men seem to FORGET why sex exist in the first place.
Or...they do not care. Which is also a big issue in this society, where babies need to be raised in very complex ways and survival.
I think, most men do not want to raise all this babies they are producing while basically having sex with a woman. Women mostly they do not want even to marry...
Women who basically are condamned to do it all alone by themselves if we all are honest.
The nerves men have to go after sex is just mindblowing! They do nasty if they do not get it and nasty if they get it.
Horrible.
I know there are some men who are not jerks, but oooh boy...they are in the minority.
Sorry if this post is to rough and verbal.
Kind regards.
It is crazy if you think about it really.
Facts
Every guy should look up the 12 stages of physical intimacy if he wants to lead properly. Saying "if she is DEFINITELY showing signs" isn't as helpful as "if she wasn't receptive to you putting your arm around her you definitely shouldn't go for a kiss."
The only situation where I think serious seekers look like hookup seekers is probably dating apps (and virgins), since texting is such a time wasting activity they often try to get in person quickly which looks like disinterest in conversation. Like I think the real advice is "be respectful of boundaries," men should be escalating toward sex even as serious relationship seekers. Most high quality serious seeking men I know aren't getting passed over due to "appearing like hookup seekers" but because they aren't "chasing" and they also get stuck focusing effort toward situationships/friendzones because they aren't forcing the issue with escalation.
Doing match+1 on the physical intimacy scale seems to me to be a no lose strategy:
- If the escalation stops at a particular level for more than 1 date she isn't interested and you should discuss it or move on
- If you mutually like each other the two of you connect physically faster, she feels chased and desired you get your sexual needs met, win-win
- A man with access to sex is not going to jump into relationships solely for intimacy and is actually going to evaluate the relationship
- The pace will be what she is comfortable with since you are waiting for her to match before going to the next stage
- Respecting boundaries when you hit them has literally never backfired on me, I am still friends with some even if we stopped at 11/12
My hot take is that if you want to avoid hookups dating intentionally by pro-actively asking about their values and relationship goals before they can mirror yours, seeing how they react to boundaries, looking for mismatching words/actions, identifying love-bombing, not interested in dates just wants to go to his/your place, etc. is the best strategy. I am graysexual so sexual compatibility is important to me and I am quite upfront about that which is quite different from a bunch of vague sentiments that someone who is lying about being a LTR seeker gives. The majority of men I know who are focused on meaningless hookups have unresolved mental issues and low emotional intelligence so asking them how they feel in the moment or mentally checking what level of vulnerability they are showing might be an effective strategy.
I had guys fake whole relationships with me.
I had a narcissist ex boyfriend who faked a 2 year relationship with me and he went as far as introduce me to his family and friends and even let me live in his house, he played the part very well and faked love.
After 2 years he discarded me like I never ment anything to him and with no shame he paraded the woman he was cheating on me with.
This man never loved me, he never fell in love with me and he did the same to the other woman.
I've seen men married for years who ghost their wives.
When are men going to stop this?
These men are traumatizing women and building a generation of mistrust and pain.
@@winning3329ohh Yessss they have those but now I can spot him immediately
The part about women's intuition is so validating. I've followed my intuition many times and second guessed myself, or been questioned by others and told I was making a mistake. But I knew.
I just want to warn ladies about what has happened to me.
I had a couple of men who pretended to be inlove with me and tell me that they wanted a relationship with me and they would fake a whole relationship with me and when they felt things were getting serious like i would ask them that i wanted them to meet my family members then the men would disappear and cut all contract with me.
Im warning women to never sleep with a man and make him wait until he marries you.
These men can wait until you let them have your body.
If i ever meet another man in the future s3x will be off the table.
Im not giving wife benefits for a man to turn around and marry another woman.
Refusal of extra marital sex by women is also good for men. It will help them settle down with one woman than
How long do u honestly think a guy will wait?
Think bout it from the guys perspective. You can get a sw for a few hundred dollars. If you wanna make a guy wait years, he will just give up on you.
No what if he's not good in bed, you're stuck with bad sex!! Lol
I know a woman who had 5 kids with a dude, gave him a house, and waited for him for 8 years before he married her. LOL - what a damn loser women are.
Never give your pearls to swine.
Guys, if you do choose to 'make a sexual move' on a date, please please PLEASE make sure you do it in a time and place where the woman has a safe exit. Make her feel comfortable in saying no if she isn't ready.
Example: making a move in a car in an isolated place that is far from her home screams 'he's going to kill me and dump my body in a ditch if I say no'. She will never want to see you ever again. Oppositely, asking in a car when you are about to drop her off at her destination feels much safer (to me) because if she is uncomfortable, she can leave without being stranded in an unknown place. Personally, I think it's disrespectful to ask about sex in the early stages of dating in the first place, but that's me and my high standards.
Needs more likes❤
Facts💙
Or they can ask before making a move. That way both people are openly communicating and he's making sure he has her consent. I think men who ask for consent before making a move, even if it's just for a kiss, are gentlemen. I think the same goes for women; better to ask him for his consent too.
It isn't high standards at all. It is normal standards. Men have had centuries to gaslight women into believing their purpose is to be prostituted or used as broodmares. It isn't normal to talk about sex to people you don't know.
What is normal is to ask questions about another's life and their hopes and dreams, to find a common ground.
Personally, I find it annoying that men can't relax and enjoy themselves without obsessing about sex all the time. It's as if being an adult, you aren't allowed to have fun anymore. You're only allowed to engage in activities that have to do with f*cking. It's exhausting and dull. Where are the men who like to have fun? The ones who like to laugh and enjoy life? The ones who treat women as sisters first?
@@rtphotos4691 You're right, it's just decent human behaviour to not talk about sex with complete strangers. I'm always immediately turned off by guys who get too sexual in their mannerisms or talk when interacting with me. Like, dude, I don't even know you lol.
The truth of the matter is women and men love differently. For, most women she has to feel something for him. In order to sleep with him. Unlike the male. He does NOT have to feel anything for her before he sleeps with her. His emotions are not tied to his body!
This is true. For most women, there must be a heart connection to activate things "down there". There used to be a thing called romance. I'm old enough to remember it... meaning, seeing it in old movies and such.
women, females has have to learn at young age to protect themselves from males that only want to use them for sex. Males rare have had this experience or have to learn this lesson when they are growing up that is why this difference exists among other social constructs that female have to contend with that males will never have to. Dont think these ideas are automatic
@@Ace7of7Cups I suggest that all girls have locks on their bedroom door and sleep in a locked bedroom from their early teens to the time they leave the parental home, and then wherever they go such as college, have locks on their bedroom door. It will help them avoid a lot of potential trauma.
The absolute fuck?🤦🏽♀️ Atp just delete men if they're so dangerous sheesh
Unfortunately, that also means women cheat because of emotions. It's a two way street that many people can't seem to see both sides of.
Signs he wants you for sex:
1. You see each other on his terms.
2. He only calls you in the evenings, late, or when it is dark.
3. You never hang out in the daytime he tries to avoid anything that could feel like a date.
4. You never met any of his family or friends.
5. His compliments are based on your appearance.
6. It always gets sexual in every conversation.
7. He never replies to you via text or ignores your calls until he wants something from you.
8. You never go on dates.
9. You feel lonely as soon it is over once the physical intimacy is over.
10. There is no foreplay or it's all about him.
11. He always leaves straight after or starts making excuses to exit.
12. He never asks you about yourself.
13. He is not committed to you.
14. He chats with other women.
15. He checks out other women(look at their body even in front of you)
16. You never have serious conversations.
17. He annoyed if you don't have sex.
18. He told you he doesn't want anything serious.
19. He tells you a lot of people ignore that or don't want to believe that.
20. He expects something in return for taking you out.
Woah, what a summary!
Spot on 🔥👍🏾
Ditto 🔥🔥🔥
Get him in bed, get him just ready. Then jump up and say..." I got to go. I'm meeting my mum for coffee. Bye. Don't call again."
@@ConArtista that sounds incredibly dangerous and cruel.
If he’s playing , he is NOT the one . He is NOT it!
Players only love you when they're playin
Absolutely correct I had to leave him where he was he just wanted booty call & try to get me pay for it. Becz I'm handicapped it's mad world. Becz I really cared now i.can date the one whom really care abt me
I really appreciate this presenter. So genuine. His face is so sincere. Very grounded. Thank you 🙏
I'm over dating and I'm over men. Too much work that I'm tired of doing and getting no results or bad results. I'd rather be alone. I'm happier that way.
Me too...
Totally agree ! TOTALLY😮😊
Yea me to I hate men . But that finest mean I’m a lesbian. I hate it all . Relationships are out the window to much drama .
Ive been single for 6 years and though I get lonely at times, this has been the most personal growth I’ve ever experienced.
I know that's right
I once had a man say to me, “I really like the pace of this.”
Things were moving slowly. That was code, for let’s keep it casual as it turns out.
2:04:00 is triggering. Basically men will know from the beginning they do not want a future with a woman (well before intimacy) and still stay with her to reap the benefits of being with her. How cowardly. I can never get on board with a man choosing conveniently to disclose that a woman is not the one once he has extracted as much as possible. I see why more women are murdering their romantic partners these days. It's unfortunate. Lack of transparency, discipline and accountability of men is harmful to women.
Agreed. Well said.
It happened to me… when he couldn’t get more out of me then he bounced. Malignant narcissist
@@sharon901 That's not what a malignant narcisist is. Thats just a man and the one talking on the show is one himself.
Oh thanks for clarifying what I went through….as if you had any idea.
It is despicable behaviour
I had the same thing happen as Lisa and her husband. They came in with a fling but my relationship came in with just a conversation with neither of us looking or wanting a relationship. The connection was clear during the 3rd conversation and we both felt it. OMG We were very serious in 30 days. So fast. That was 90 days ago. Oh, by the way we are 80 yrs old.
❤
hooy beep shiit ood livee bes8des 1980
Let's go with the flow
Let's enjoy ourselves
Any vague statement.
Truth. I CANNOT be involved with more than 1 guy. I've TRIED getting involved with 2 simultaneously... It's so NOT IN ME. It was TORTURE for me mentally & emotionally. 😒
Same
Me too
Same here! How can I genuinely get to know someone if I’m juggling more than one person. Seems exhausting.
Me too
Same I tried and I can’t
Some folks might not agree and want to encourage me to keep looking for the one, but I've quit trying(and dating).
Don't get me wrong, I don't think all men are jerks. But I'm just fed up with weeding out jerks, being manipulated, and getting dissapointed.
There're things in life we're not good at no matter how hard we try, and I guess for me it's relationship.
But it's ok though. I can still find happiness and pleasure in other aspects of life. Sex toys are diversified too.
I'm with you on that because the guy i am dealing with right now is only here for the sex
Date women 🩷
Ha! You think that makes a difference.
@@blicket Yeah, because atleast I don't have to deal with jerks anymore.
Love yourself first!
Watch out for them saying they just want to go with the flow.That's another huge red flag
Why it took me so long to learn this?
That's them saying they already know they won't be falling in love with you.
@@dr.jenniferma3914factual
@@dr.jenniferma3914 dudes are not so called 'falling in love' there are zero benefits to be had from the modern woman
@@HolyRollerTV The modern male created the modern woman. You only have yourselves to blame.
I've met plenty of people who jumps into relationships based on infactution aka "love" at first sight. Regardless of how the relationship turns out, they took a high risk.
There is no way to really know a person without spending time in many situations.
High risk high reward.
It's all about communication. All this trying to figure this and that out is just too complicated. No one is a mind reader. Honest communication is the key.
mond readibg dev8ces ex8st lie deteorrz ec8st
The 1st hour of conversation saddens me and confirms what I’ve seen just in the last 1 1/2 years of being in the dating world post divorce. It’s also the reason I stopped dating casually. The whole premise that dating is to find a person to sleep with is just disrespectful to real commitment. I’m convinced there needs to be a “casual hookup” pool and a “serious commitment” pool. The first encounter with someone should not be transactional to the point of us sniffing each other out for intercourse. It should be for genuine getting to know them and gauging compatibility or connection. There should not be expectations to get sex just because a guy pays for dinner or any other activity. Every time Stephan referenced “letting a guy know you’re on your period” statements I cringed. Nobody needs to know your biological functions unless you have made it clear mutually that that is what the encounter could lead to. All of these unspoken expectations lead to people feeling used or taken advantage of on both sides. This narrative has to change somewhere.
I agree....its NOT his business whether you're on your period or not. I also cringed.
I wondered why there was no mention of a man who is serious about a relationship being fine with period sex. Stephan has clearly never been married. Mature, married men aren’t squeamish about blood, and will ask their partner if they’d rather snuggle on the couch watching a movie, or have sex, and be fine with whichever makes her feel best.
@@AndiAlexander1 Stephan has been married once, a long time ago. I remember him mentioning it in one of his videos. I have only watched a handful of them.
@@janereinhardt4715 maybe being squeamish about woman things hastened the end of it?
@@AndiAlexander1 Maybe- who knows.
A man and a woman will do everything right or wrong and still be or not be for you....only God alone knows men n women real intentions ❤
I absolutely agree 💯 real talk wisdom from heaven 💯
Prove it.
Only God knows EVERYTHING ABOUT HIS CHILDREN .....GOOD OR BAD 2023
If you can enjoy life and welcome someone into your vibe, they can do the same. He is using a lot of blaming women instead of considering two individuals who have a chance to WEL COME SOME ONE intro their world. Each person is a world and they have to negotiate a or realize they are copacetic. . .or not.
MANY MEN of character have told me when they REALLY VALUE and like a woman they will WAIT. They see her as a keeper NOT a ‘throwback ‘
Me too!
A man told me one day he was madly truly in love. He did not make any moves to even touch her, pushing her, making sexual remarks, not this and not that, because he said...if i do something innapropiate, stupid i could push her away and lose her!
Other women i did not really liked and where he had no feelings for, he would touch them in a few minutes or hours, quickly, being arrogant, cocky, verbally obscene, pushy, easy offended when rejected.
But his real love for that girl made him very cautiuos, so she would not get stressed, scared, uncomfortable, rejecting him.
Go figure.
We women accept so much stress and being tyranized.
We should be the ones who push back men very hard at each attempt to run us over and abusing us or disrespecting us.
Better, after the first bad sign, run and never engage with that man.
Normally your gut tells you...
@@heide-raquelfuss5580 hell yes they know to do better when they want better. And you definitely deserve better.
I hope that is my s. other's reason..
Of course, they will wait; the alternative is loss...or _rape._
They will also gladly and eagerly engage, if she is willing.
That said, never _assume_ that a _patient_ man is inherently a _good_ man.
Wellness & Love to you all.🤍
@@BL3SSed-Bliss once they know they have you in their hands. They can easily be as disrespectful as a rap*st. And i see no difference between a “husband” and a “rapist”
If they both act impulsively and disrespectfully. It matters how fast you get rid of them. Actually. It’s your time that is being wasted not theirs.
At 67 out of dating pool. But this man has understanding of men & women down and what works as well as I've ever heard or read.
I got love bombed first time ever. I had just got out of a 16 year relationship and wanted to take things slow. He was calling, texting me, i was too, i will take accountability. Right after we alept together he compltely changed, said lets take things slow now. Found out he was back on the dating website within hours. My friend told me, I was so upset, called him out on it. He blamed me and said the last date was so weird and it was because he told me on Valentines Day he still had feelings for his ex which btw I had asked him on 4 different dates are you looking for something serious and do you still have feelings for someone? He said once we slept together the closer we got the more I reminded him of her. I was so mad at myself, for believing that bullshit. If men could juat be honest and say 'hey, I am just looking to have sex'. It would be so much easier but no, they have to lie constantly. I am.done dating.
A cheap date can really take off the pressure and help focus on getting to know someone. Went on a coffee date guy made it clear he just wanted sex . It felt so comfortable to walk away and saying good luck with things. No one wasted resources.
Girl please. Whilst you are worried about wasting his resources he had no issue with wasting your time. You might as well have had coffee at home and FaceTimed him. The bar is in he|| sheesh 😅😴
@@gailainsley6939 well you have to put time into anything you want. every relationship has a beginning you won't know until you put yourself out there to find the right person. trust me it was a very brief coffee date it didn't take long to realize we weren't a good fit. I would rather be told the truth of his intentions instead of a lie. yes he could have just messaged me with out a coffee date and that would have been great.
@@gailainsley6939please preach 💜👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
😒We already know what’s up with coffee ☕️ & park dates. Thanks 🙏🏾 to the internet every woman can learn how selfish & manipulative these men are.
Great idea
Dating is not used for sex it's to get to know someone you interested in and if it doesn't work out move on but if the both of you are compatible it's best to marry.
Subtle distinction about the chasing. When a man is serious about you, he will pursue you. Simple as that. If he's too hurt from previous relationships, then he needs therapy for that and you can't fix that and shouldn't try. In my humble experience, if a man likes a woman, no matter what, he will call, ask her out, etc. BUT there is a distinction between chasing her relentlessly and proper, respectful pursuit.
Yes, but sometimes they are reeling from the chance of a new opportunity and have to get their conviction completely in order. They have to actually make high-level decisions about life and what they want and consider her and what would be only fair to ask from her.
YES! Thank you for saying that! I understand some people may be hurt from their past, but the result of talking to someone hurt from the past and someone who is a player is the same. You feel alone, ignored, and there is no relationship. They need healing
True, I agree, but some men nowadays just will not ask a woman for their phone number because they would rather that she call the number on his business card.
@@IVvOOvVI
Yes, *_far too many_** feminine, beta, and/or non-initiating males exist today.*
*Personally, I could never bother with those types; but, to each- her own.*
TBF- it's not always pain/hurt, not always that deep. Many times, it is simple *_insecurity._*
Sometimes, that is because he knows that she is too far out of his league.
He lost me multiple times with the double standards, but listening to this while sleeping helped me absorb the reality that engaging in relationships is a giant waste of energy.
Literally same... also falling asleep and it all just feels moot. I can't handle all of this.
What double standards..?
Amen.. dating is a waste of time and energy! Love yourself
I'm Not Compromising, I'm Not Lowering My Standards To Be In A Relationship.... 💯🎯
Same here...never everrrrrrr
don't
This conversation gave me a different perspective. People are complicated, holding back something good because of fear. As for me, expressing my honesty is what I'm comfortable with and it's up to the person if he will reciprocate and I'm fine otherwise. Hope we find what we're looking for.
Hahaha love your username...
Sounds like you'll be waiting a long time.
When he said, "Don't internalize actions." That's hard not to do when communication is not involved. People need to speak up and communicate.
EXACTLY
Point
THIS!!!!
Right I have this situationship with this guy I was waiting for him to tell me if we will be bf and gf and he never ask me nothing he instead told me I'm a stupid woman for not getting it. Like 3 years dating him as a friend and I did the move I told him I like him and I had feelings for him and he say he didn't want nothing to do with me. And then afterwards he was so attentive and shit that just confuse me and he annoys me now I don't feel like even keep him as a friend.
@@lluviacatalan5203 I had something similar happen to me. Cut all ties with him. You can't keep him as a friend because real friends will tell you the truth. Cut all ties. It's better that way.
Huh?
Infatuation is instant. Love is what remains beyond infatuation.
Exactly
Great reminders. My ideal first date: A Sunday afternoon, walking in a park or bike path. Then a snack or ice cream.
This way, there is NO expectation of Dinner & sex, or me going back to your place.
I let it be known PRIOR to seeing each other in person that I DONT kiss on the first date. Took pressure off & we can just focus on getting to know each other.
I knew if they didn’t try to kiss me until date 3 or 4 that they really LIKED me for me and we could actually build a good foundation that’s required.
Exactly! I can’t stand making it clear that I don’t want any touching on the first date and since the date was pleasant they believe its okay to intercept me on my way out of the vehicle while putting a halitosis mouth on mine and pressing an erection into my abdomen. Then saying, “I do have a gun but I left it at home”. Dating now can be so gross
Talk about it before you order food, good communication is the key. Dating is so easy, all your doing is trying to get to know each other and share some time together and be friends first. Stop listening to coaches and online instructors, act normal and be yourself.
Facts...that's what I say forget what everyone talking about and these lists...if u just be yourself and other people just be themselves it would be so easy to pick someone u really can be with for real 🤦🏽♀️
Everytime i watch these episodes i am terrified of dating
Me too
I'm done ..fine being alone
Same, terrified. Infuriated too. Solitude is amazing. No games, manipulation, entitlement, or abuse.
Lol yeah, these days I'm not getting in a car and going anywhere with a guy I don't know. I could end up dead. 😮 I'm happy single ☺️ ❤
nope you are terrified of dating dudes who are just average working lcass...high quality dudes are not going for the game women try to run on them
Trust your gut. If you think something is off, slow the relationship down or end it. I had a date and never felt his name was right when I said it. I soon found out he was
a classA player/narc.
Dumped.
So much of this was maddening. Guys need to END relationships themselves instead of putting it on the women to break up, no excuses guys. This is just extremely immature and it is MANIPULATIVE. Grow up and stop making excuses for them it’s disgusting
Agreed.
42:26 Thank you so much for saying this! Because I've always been taught, you can't love someone if you've only just met them, but I can honestly say, that I have had love for others after meeting them and I truly care but it's for my fellow man. Or, most likely out of admiration.
I have at this point, not ever truly fallen "in love" with a man, nor given anyone an opportunity to "fall in love" with me.
I love this bit of clarity
Being Respectful, Hearing The Person Out, and Taking a step back from conversations that may create a hault on where you are at is important. Too many people put on their best faces but fail to keep up with whom they've presented.
Loved this. As far as the fifty fifty thing. If we talk over the phone before the date you can simply ask the other person if they are traditional or modern. We can have those conversations before we go out to avoid confusion etc.
This is good information. Honesty is necessary. Brutal honesty is something different and can be disrespectful or abusive. Brutal honesty is not needed.
Exactly. You can be perfectly honest, but no need to be brutal about it.
This! I absolutely hate when brutally honest people are like "But I'm just being real and honest."
No, they're being an ass by not considering the other person's feelings.
There is a way to be both kind and honest.
That’s so great you mentioned you fall in love right away instead of love happening over time. That’s what happened with my bf and I . We met . Felt an instant connection . We both felt like we always known each other forever but obviously we just met. We for about 8 hours straight the first day. Then everyday after ever since. But we both knew right away. We knew within the first few days in the first week. I tired to talk myself out of what I felt for him and he thought he was just as crazy for feeling in love too. We are way past our high school days . Both have kids that are in their 20’s so we thought this is just crazy . The connection was so strong between us immediately . It was actually really sweet , cute and funny that we both thought we must be crazy for both of us knowing this is the one right away . I thought ok I’m in love but this is just way too soon . He told me he loved me within the first 2 weeks. He said he just knew right away after we met . The funny part is I never told him that I knew right way too and tried to talk myself out of it thinking this is just crazy . He never told me he was thinking the same thing about himself. We both had that conversation a about knowing right away few months later . It’s been two years now that we’ve been together . We both want to spend our lives with each other. We had conversations about the fact we never thought something like this would ever happen like it did. Where you meet , have an intense deep connection and fall in love that quick . But it did. Stephen ,You are 100 percent correct about how real love works . It is right away .
Sounds like me and someone I met...
If it was so intense, why haven't you married? It's been 2 yrs. After 2 weeks he told you he loved you, and you commented like you've won the lottery.....and your not children....so why aren't you married?
💯 Absolutely, such a wonderful feeling! Hoping that you both have an amazing future together.✨️
@@passionflower522 she probably is rejoicing over his potential and not the true him. She is still in her feelings are not in her right mind.only time will tell if marriage is in the cards.
@@passionflower522
*Valid points; good question.*
I love the way this guy speaks! He is so smart! Thank you for existing to explain to clarify so many things! I do appreciate him a lot! And Lisa is a sweetheart ❤! Thank you for inviting Stephan!
I appreciate this so much. I'm dating a guy who I know we're both scared of getting hurt. He pulls away and that spirals my insecurities because of my 26 year marriage to a true narcissist. But yes, there are serial daters. I knew someone who used to do breakfast lunch and dinner dates with all different men. That free meal is a real thing out there. I was completely unaware until I would date someone after they'd been hit.
I think youre talking about attraction, not love. Love is actions that are consistent over time
Word
I have learned so many lessons watching this. Just saw a post where a man asked a woman out for ice cream & she turned him down. I say that was a gentleman gesture. She thought he was being cheap.
I can understand women being drawn to this man and thinking they have a connection with him. It’s because he is so authentic that you feel you know him and can trust him. When a man has true genuine integrity, authenticity, and respect within himself, it allows women that sense of safety and security that is so lacking from many relationships today.
I like it when Lisa talks about her relationship as she and her husband sound living respectable and kind to one another Bravo Lisa
Bro. When he said that compatibility had to do with social constructs, I was floored! I am in total agreement. It was such a great conversation. I'm glad I watched. Thank you for the content.
What is missing in the first 30 min is the importance of open transparant respectful communication. Men and woman are no mind readers and we schould not spent our precious life energy on guessing what the other person is meaning to say.
Communication is 🔑 key.
Examine that male . Is he marriage materials, skilled, mild tempered, gentle behaviors, etc.
Excellent interview. It came up randomly and I was hooked. This guy is very smart. I’ve dated enough where I KNOW his words are true. Plus the part where it took time made me a little sad. But it’s true. I’m spiritual as well.
I’m so happy I heard this today. I’m divorced and saw the red flags but thought things would change. My heart was screaming no, but I had no one to talk with. I thought about his feelings not mine.
His most astute point was the reference to connection going "BOTH WAYS" and that if you think you're into someone but they aren't into you there is no connection. You are in lust. You are being hopeful, wishful, living in fantasy. You don't have a genuine connection with the person. So if he ghosts you, disappears after sex, talks about not wanting something serious etc, just take this as the knowledge that you were wrong about your own feelings. You mislabeled something lustful as genuine connection. This will help you move along faster. I've had what I thought were connections with men who ended up being totally full of it. They would demonstrate the truth of it and once I see it I kindly move on. Don't think about him. Don't wonder. Don't worry. Just let whatever image of him you have in your mind go and realized that he discovered the truth before you.
Well said. Wish I knew all this 20 years ago.
Damn that was kinda tough to swallow but thanks
Wow 👌 well said
Great video, there is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship, I learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago I and my wife divorced because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together ,it was a really bad phase but we got through it
there is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things
@@DarylSimpson58 its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is SHELLY RENEE WHITE.
@@BonnieSetliff this is helpful, I will look her up. I hope this works for me too, I really miss her.
This is so true. I like what he said about real love don't take a long time. To be honest the spiritual connection is confirmation that person is the one. Great video 💯
Yes!
I had to leave a comment because I am in the dating world and it’s rough out here. You just gave me a completely different perspective when it comes to meeting at a park or a Starbucks or getting frozen yogurt I have always had a rule that I am not about to take the time and energy to get dressed to meet anyone for those type of dates I either meet for breakfast, lunch, or dinner, but listening to the way you laid that out I will definitely be More Open to experiencing those type of dates. Thank you for that perspective.
I don’t think the video was long enough, they were digging very deep and I wanted them to go deeper and longer. Great video ❤
He's telling the truth we see the red flags we always know we ignore it when we like him he's fine or whatever the excuse is we make
Ladies be careful. Men like this don't care and will keep on until you stop it. And if you like him its heartbreaking
Yes.trying to get passed this situation right now
Younger man ot hurts worse than I've ever bee. Hurt. Illnever start seeing anyone again. I should have known better. He sorta made it clear at first je didn't want a relationship but then got to close
"Creeps" won't respect boundaries.
True 🤧🤧
@user-xr2lr9wj5s I understand 🤗 just remember to listen to what the man is saying and believe it when he says he's not looking for a relationship, u just gotta believe that...u keep the ssme energy he has nothing more...
but why you like a dude that doesnt want you, thats not his problem
A wealthy woman would never waste their time only for a ´´free meal´´ .I´m super hegemonic and wealthy, of course, I wouldn´t accept a meal from a guy that does not like me, because that would be eating in front an ugly man, responding to answers, investing in dress, make-up, hair, for one meal? No thank you... I rather go alone to eat like Meelena from Mortal Kombat, with any man watching with lust at me while I eat my pizza. If a man can´t afford a meal, well... he is not even ready to date, or starting a family...sorry .. but´s a big red flag
This Lisa keep bringing 'male dating coaches' to a podcast called 'women of impact'.
They have no credentials. Why doesn't she bring female dating coaches who know the game?
Just because women listen better if its a man telling them?
Same here..I dodge alot of dates if i"m not really interested. I dont waste my time, not even for a free meal.
He is so amazing love everything he has to say. Defending women and men at the same time, who would have thought.
All of this analysis is extremely validating. However, ultimately, we have no better solutions to love than Shakespeare did. It is unpredictable and elusive. The more questions are answered, the more arise. That being said, I LOVE it all. I could listen to you two forever. Your insights are fascinating. I wish they could solve dating problems as big as mine.
I do not have sex just for having sex ~ when he dumped me I finally woke up it deeply hurt but it was a lesson learned ~ I have not been interested in relationship and I don't need the B S ~ Thank you Jesus
Stephan would be an incredible therapist. Great content, always!
_Of-sort._
Truthfully, though, he chose the right field and role/position.
He's not totally objective, and gets quite personal; he responds from experience-based wisdom, not [scholastic] educated analysis. His approach is _great_ as a coach _(but not_ meant for _psychology)._
It helps him to garner/gain more trust from those who want to feel understood through relatability.
Of course he can go to school for formal training and a degree in psychology, to expand his practice, if he so wishes/d. I'd deem him a good candidate!
I went on a date with a guy, and he said is going with the flow. Well, I'm letting FLOW freely 😂😂😂😂
It's easier to feel like you have not been played if you didn't give your all. Sex is for marriage. It is made to be a bonding act.
nit 1980 toó 2009
The Universe definitely sent me this message. This resonate with me hard. Thank you. I am allowing myself to heal and let go.
Thanks to you and your channel I can no longer be f***ed with. He’s never going to get help, so I’m gone for good. He can play his games with her, his children, and their moms. 💪🏻
This has to be probably one of the best videos and advice on the internet today! Thank you both
they talk about marriage right away and you just met...they make sexual innuendos constantly, don't giggle it reinforces the disrespect
Narcissistic bast*rds.
Wish I knew this in my younger years...but hey better late than never...I found out all of this in my mid 40s...it is so true that men are NOT complicated...they either like you and wanna be with you or they just trying to get some booty....it's just that simple....I learned to wait at least 90 days before having sex....and during that 90 day period pay attention to how often they call you, wanna be with you etc...but dont give it up before 90 days, that's a quick way to weed out those SOBs.
It is refreshing to hear the genuine perspective of a spiritually mature male. You touched on so many deeper points. If there is CONNECTION, satisfaction can be worked out on every level. Masturbation distracts you from what is sacred about the sexual energy exchange between 2 people and only satisfies empty instant gratification, etc., etc. The only thing I don't think was covered enough was how detrimental pornography can be to EVERYONE involved. It takes away the fun and adventure naturally created by the connection with our partner. And we forget that those actors are people, wounded souls that lack self-love, being objectified for money. I believe an open mind is vital, but even more so, a feeling heart that knows intuitively the loving direction that humanity is evolving.