Monologue: The Big Lie | Real Time with Bill Maher (HBO)

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  • Опубліковано 3 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 1,7 тис.

  • @mike223reloader
    @mike223reloader 3 роки тому +1418

    Getting banned from Facebook is actually something to hope for, doesn’t seem like a punishment. Removing that crap from your life is a great thing.

    • @anonymousjohnson976
      @anonymousjohnson976 3 роки тому +37

      And hopefully the rest would follow, like Twitter, etc.

    • @mar-a-lagofbibug8833
      @mar-a-lagofbibug8833 3 роки тому +35

      Don the con needs the large audience that FB provides.

    • @mike223reloader
      @mike223reloader 3 роки тому +14

      @Johnny Drama yeah I’ve always avoided drama. Everyone I know has stories of when Facebook has shoveled drama or problems into their lives. Just ask people if it’s happened to them, it’s usually hilarious.

    • @vipertact
      @vipertact 3 роки тому +48

      Dropped Facebook when it was sucking up so much of my time.
      It also changed a lot since its beginning.
      It stopped being fun, it turned into people complaining about every little thing.
      I felt like I had to also start complaining to keep up, and of course adopt a mind set of feeling like every little thing oppressed me.
      News channels that went on Facebook, forewent giving you reasonable headlines but decided clickbates are better.
      Toxic place.

    • @yesiamthatgradeAcunt_
      @yesiamthatgradeAcunt_ 3 роки тому +30

      I hear you,I deactivated my FB account since 2014 and IG since 2016 and I never look back.

  • @tatasonfelix
    @tatasonfelix 3 роки тому +192

    I wish you all a beautiful weekend. May something really good and life changing happen to you.

    • @eemoogee160
      @eemoogee160 3 роки тому +10

      Got vaccinated

    • @johnalsop2303
      @johnalsop2303 3 роки тому +12

      Thanks.
      Right back at you.

    • @snye5919
      @snye5919 3 роки тому +7

      Thank you . Wish you the same

    • @heydeanie
      @heydeanie 3 роки тому +5

      @@eemoogee160 good for you! I'm 3 weeks after my 2nd shot, you may feel a lil crummy tomorrow. Drink lots of water, it helps 💕

    • @Pomoscorzo
      @Pomoscorzo 3 роки тому +8

      Thank you. Greetings from Germany. 🙂

  • @dappppppppt
    @dappppppppt 3 роки тому +261

    Sitting in a hospital bed in Aotearoa, New Zealand, after kidney stone surgery, no community covid here my heart warms hearing this. Yall are going to beat it!

    • @Ulyssesrodetotown
      @Ulyssesrodetotown 3 роки тому +18

      All the best, from down in Christchurch

    • @rachelgallagher6214
      @rachelgallagher6214 3 роки тому +19

      ✌♥️ and a speedy recovery from Montana

    • @tinoyb9294
      @tinoyb9294 3 роки тому +3

      We are talking about Americans here?

    • @margo3367
      @margo3367 3 роки тому +14

      Get well soon from the Oregon Coast, USA.

    • @seanswinton6242
      @seanswinton6242 3 роки тому +13

      Stay strong. Wish you well!

  • @JimSande
    @JimSande 3 роки тому +413

    "The truth will set you free from your job!"

    • @allgodsarefake6044
      @allgodsarefake6044 3 роки тому +2

      I like crypto currency because it’s 2021 and crypto doesn’t have A FUCKING SLAVE MASTER ON IT! Hello wake up you fucks!!!

    • @Bruce_K
      @Bruce_K 3 роки тому +27

      @@allgodsarefake6044 - it’s created from nothing mostly by supercomputers. It’s not democratizing the world or freeing everyone from exploitation by the rich. It’s fake crap. It also wastes tons of energy and resources for trivial garbage like NFT art.

    • @ShannonJacobs0
      @ShannonJacobs0 3 роки тому +5

      Sadly true. If we want any hope for America's future, first we MUST #FixTheFilibuster.
      How about a 55% population-based cloture rule?
      But the Democrats represent >55% of the voters. Presto chango, no more filibusters.
      #BlockTheBlockheads #EndTheFilibuster

    • @rasadams9034
      @rasadams9034 3 роки тому +17

      "It's not a lie if you believe it."
      - the great George Costanza.

    • @ethanmay1767
      @ethanmay1767 3 роки тому

      🇺🇸🦅

  • @oxford17
    @oxford17 3 роки тому +24

    Nice to hear an audience! Love you, Bill!

    • @billmaherofficialpage7917
      @billmaherofficialpage7917 3 роки тому

      Hey Queen, thanks for your support and comments, I really appreciate you so much for being one of my big fans all this years, you can send me a direct message 💕💕469 591 1912

  • @cleatusbarncoat8642
    @cleatusbarncoat8642 3 роки тому +487

    Memo to Liz Cheney: invite some of your antagonists to go hunting with your Dad.

    • @marct9942
      @marct9942 3 роки тому +34

      Funny, but the kids here have no idea what you're talking about

    • @michaelwoolcock5600
      @michaelwoolcock5600 3 роки тому +7

      🤣🤣

    • @KevinSmith-dx6xq
      @KevinSmith-dx6xq 3 роки тому +10

      @Mass Debater Not that many of the "kids" would know what an antagonist is. Maybe ones that watch Real Time would.

    • @ianmclean5541
      @ianmclean5541 3 роки тому +5

      Awesome idea

    • @theaminerva1515
      @theaminerva1515 3 роки тому +3

      lol

  • @TheAverageGuy12
    @TheAverageGuy12 3 роки тому +92

    Congrats on a day! It's been a year since anyone died in my state in Australia. Amazing what following the rules do for you at the beginning. Gives you so much more "freedom"

    • @RictusHolloweye
      @RictusHolloweye 3 роки тому

      Pity the federal government has fluffed the vaccination rollout so badly. The US will probably be travelling again before we are.

    • @TheAverageGuy12
      @TheAverageGuy12 3 роки тому +10

      @@RictusHolloweye Yeah...not here they won't, without proof of vaccination. Haven't had to wear a mask for a year so I'm in no hurry to wait.

    • @kellibarnhouse6591
      @kellibarnhouse6591 3 роки тому +18

      @@RictusHolloweye :
      The United States has along way to Go!
      38 Million infected with Covid! 40% of Americans have had 1 dose of the
      Vaccine!
      Thousands of Americans are still dying!
      And 40% of Americans are anti- vax, or Anti- mask!
      New Zealand Has got the Best PM in the World, and Australia is Doing Well!
      You are blessed with your
      Common Sense Leaders!

    • @heydeanie
      @heydeanie 3 роки тому +12

      @@kellibarnhouse6591 Amen friend, intelligent leadership makes all the difference...

    • @dannahinojosa1934
      @dannahinojosa1934 3 роки тому +9

      @@kellibarnhouse6591 I see your point, however, the United States has a population of more than 328 million people. Australia has about 25 million and New Zealand has a little more than 4 million. I don't think it's fair to compare the U.S. with countries with far less problems than we have. New York city has over 8 million people. Twice as much as New Zealand.

  • @fathergabrielstokes4706
    @fathergabrielstokes4706 3 роки тому +37

    That Chinese comment was too GOLDEN!! LMAO "when have they ever..."

    • @mar10dg
      @mar10dg 3 роки тому +3

      True. And Laughing MAO is actually pretty funny too in this context.

  • @MitchM240
    @MitchM240 3 роки тому +41

    I have never watched Bill more then I have in the last few weeks. He’s a rare voice of reason on the left.

    • @robertnicholls9917
      @robertnicholls9917 3 роки тому +5

      No he's not. He just repeats beltway, corporate nonsense. He thinks because he smokes weed that makes him left.
      This is how predictable he is. IF he talks about the Israel situation tmrw, he will use Israeli propaganda. He'll say human shields, Hamas, he'll talk about evil Muslims or religion and 1000 year dispute, which it's not. He won't mention any of the Israeli aggression that took place for over a year leading up to this.
      He's just a smarmy corporate hack now who carries water for corporate Dems who enable horrible GOP polices.
      He'll also parrot beltway garbage praising Liz Cheney, calling her a hero or truth teller. Cheney is a Neocon that created the destructive Republican Party. She voted with Trump 92% of the time and was promoting torture again under his administration. You won't hear any of that, only MSM garbage trying to rehabilitate her.
      That's how predictable Bill is. They just get their Neoliberal script and repeat it.

    • @grantmarcus5675
      @grantmarcus5675 3 роки тому +1

      Well then, you obviously missed Bill encouraging herd immunity by allowing the spread of the virus. He even had a guest come on to back him up, and they laughed and agreed with each other, "only the old will die" and its about time. So much like Trump's Mr. Hyde, Scott Atlas, the pandemic killer, pretending to be an epidemiologist. I guess, for you "a rare voice of reason" means giving the privileged status quo a free lunch while allowing them to spread virus and death on the rest of us. (Google "Bill Maher pushes herd immunity" & watch for 4 mins).

    • @charles_preston
      @charles_preston 3 роки тому +2

      He is a corporate shill.

    • @christopherdonahue1066
      @christopherdonahue1066 3 роки тому +1

      You are just triggered because he isn't a socialist. He is left on everything except that and being PC

    • @grantmarcus5675
      @grantmarcus5675 3 роки тому

      @@christopherdonahue1066 Believe it or not, pandemics have nothing to do about socialism. A virus like corona doesn't care whether you are a capitalist, socialist, or communist. To a virus you are only a host for its multiplication. The longer we are not cautious, and we are not patient, until most everyone is vaccinated, or we have herd immunity, there will continue to develop more potent variants that could kill even more of us. Herd immunity is not practiced before a vaccine, it is practiced after the vaccine is created. Bill got it wrong. Period.

  • @vogparis09
    @vogparis09 3 роки тому +50

    Hey Bill, give your writers a bonus. Good stuff today.

    • @janushsol
      @janushsol 3 роки тому +1

      Yes. Much better than that crypto currency bullsh** from last week. That segment will come back to haunt you 😂

    • @chrissullivan4496
      @chrissullivan4496 3 роки тому +1

      Washed over Rehak jokes. Priceless

  • @CoachRyanH
    @CoachRyanH 3 роки тому +10

    Conservative here. I can’t help but like this guy, even though I disagree with him 90% of the time. I do agree with him on more stuff than I thought. He tries to be intellectually honest. He’s also funny as hell.

  • @JDCANALESTX
    @JDCANALESTX 3 роки тому +1

    I'm hopping you make fun of president Pinocchio ,don't disappoint me.

  • @dmh8002
    @dmh8002 3 роки тому +112

    "It's nice to see so many familiar masks!" 🤣👍

  • @johnhilliard1079
    @johnhilliard1079 3 роки тому +50

    This was a solid, well-delivered monologue. It seems he had some wishy-washy, semi-self deprecating “oops I misspoke” humor in the past few months, but it’s nice to hear a professional play off his audience and still nail the material. Bravo!

  • @saadeqzyati
    @saadeqzyati 3 роки тому +38

    The woman is from Mali, resides in Morocco, and has given birth, nine children, in a health center, in Morocco, and all the newborns and their mother are in good health

    • @ViFabulous
      @ViFabulous 3 роки тому +4

      She was flown to Morocco for the delivery, she lives in Mali.

  • @abbasitareq
    @abbasitareq 3 роки тому +116

    On a roll probably because it was legit a crazy week

    • @chrisrw8939
      @chrisrw8939 3 роки тому +6

      That's for dang sure 🙌🤘

    • @chrisrw8939
      @chrisrw8939 3 роки тому +2

      @Juan Suero I almost had time to respond nicely to how silly your response to T's comment was...now all I can say is, making fun of *legit is abso ridic 😉😚
      god bless
      lol do you know what joy and laughter is? Hopefully you get sarcasm :) so sad to be so uptight you can't laugh at normal things. Saying prayers for you and yours.

    • @CameronBrtnik
      @CameronBrtnik 3 роки тому +3

      @Juan Suero this is legit the booomerest comment i've ever read...legitimately

    • @WickWars101
      @WickWars101 3 роки тому +2

      @Juan Suero Boomer Level-10K wow

    • @forratedrstuff
      @forratedrstuff 3 роки тому +3

      @Juan Suero idk what’s got your panties in a bunch... but he legit used legit in the right way... that’s exactly the way to use it

  • @budsnvines
    @budsnvines 3 роки тому +20

    Admit it, you're high af right now!

  • @bluedolphin4574
    @bluedolphin4574 3 роки тому +39

    The mom that gave birth to 9 babies is indeed from Mali but she gave birth to them in Casablanca, Morocco.
    The Government of Mali sent her to Morocco to receive a better healthcare treatment in Casablanca.
    The Moroccan doctors did a fantastic job and all the 9 babies are being taken good care of. The mom is also fine.

    • @Sub11Sprinter
      @Sub11Sprinter 3 роки тому

      And there’s no ocean near Mali for the dad to walk into (although I guess he could do that in Morocco).

    • @Primalxbeast
      @Primalxbeast 3 роки тому

      The mom is fine? You mean physically? I can't imagine having to take care of one baby, let alone 9.

    • @bluedolphin4574
      @bluedolphin4574 3 роки тому +1

      The mom is perfectly happy that the cesarean delivery (C-section) was successful and that all the 9 babies survived unharmed. She is now resting peacefully in the hospital. She is not looking after the 9 babies, the hospital is doing that for her. The babies each weighed between 1 and 2 pounds and they need to remain in a specialized nursery unit until they gain strength.

    • @donzeigler1021
      @donzeigler1021 3 роки тому

      Glad it was Morocco. Dad couldn’t have walked into the ocean from Mali: It’s landlocked.

  • @rubenmendoza1864
    @rubenmendoza1864 3 роки тому +33

    Bill Maher es bueno!
    🤓👍

  • @KCNwokoye
    @KCNwokoye 3 роки тому +1

    An honest and unfiltered point of view. Thank you!

  • @NewMessage
    @NewMessage 3 роки тому +58

    "Aren't you embarrassed?"
    That should be the GOP motto.

    • @johnscott2849
      @johnscott2849 3 роки тому +3

      yes yes yes

    • @Braneded2
      @Braneded2 3 роки тому +3

      They would but the dems are already using it, on everyone including themsleves.

    • @johnscott2849
      @johnscott2849 3 роки тому +2

      @@Braneded2 No common sense should be your motto

    • @Bruce_K
      @Bruce_K 3 роки тому +4

      Better yet “Have you no sense of decency?” Or “Have you no sense of shame?”

    • @Braneded2
      @Braneded2 3 роки тому +1

      @@johnscott2849 Who needs it now when you just do what your told by your fairly elected White House overlords

  • @wb6162
    @wb6162 3 роки тому +11

    I LIVED THROUGH SKYLAB, I WILL MAKE IT THROUGH CHINA'S ROCKET HAHA

  • @keithharmonie
    @keithharmonie 3 роки тому +46

    Great audience tonight! or Bill's just really glad to have an audience back

  • @AmberWavesOfSane
    @AmberWavesOfSane 3 роки тому +77

    "After all, when has China ever let..." 👏👏👏

    • @Ferguson011975
      @Ferguson011975 3 роки тому +5

      According to the WHO diseases aren't named after their geographic origin hence why Corona Virus Disease (COVID) isn't called the Wuhan Virus Disease (WUVID I guess). Still waiting on the new naming conventions for SARS, MERS, Ebola, Spanish Flu, Lyme Disease, Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever, West Nile Virus, and German Measles. I'm sure that China, who also initially stated that COVID couldn't be transmitted from human to human, had nothing to do with this.

    • @dalastdon2574
      @dalastdon2574 3 роки тому +10

      @@Ferguson011975 Spanish Flu didn’t originate in Spain though. Naming diseases after places just leads to hate crimes.

    • @Ferguson011975
      @Ferguson011975 3 роки тому +7

      @@dalastdon2574 No. It doesn't.

    • @heydeanie
      @heydeanie 3 роки тому +5

      @@dalastdon2574 You are correct

    • @SaHaRaSquad
      @SaHaRaSquad 3 роки тому +2

      @@Ferguson011975 Lol what kind of joker are you to think Spanish Flu follows a "naming convention"? Just so you know, the official name is A/H1N1. But I get it, that doesn't align with your dumpsterfire of an argument.

  • @222brent
    @222brent 3 роки тому +15

    I’m just here for Bill’s trained seals.

  • @nancym5341
    @nancym5341 3 роки тому +1

    Refreshing Bill thanks

  • @batgurrl
    @batgurrl 3 роки тому +238

    9 babies - mom is resting comfortably,
    Dad walked straight into the ocean with his clothes on
    Bill back to his old great wit👏

    • @Amen.ahmed1
      @Amen.ahmed1 3 роки тому

      walk straight to the desert

    • @a.i.8583
      @a.i.8583 3 роки тому +5

      He didn't write that.

    • @batgurrl
      @batgurrl 3 роки тому +1

      @@Amen.ahmed1 did you LISTEN to it?

    • @batgurrl
      @batgurrl 3 роки тому +8

      @@a.i.8583 1 you don’t know that for sure
      2 so fucking what - it was funny

    • @nofurtherwest3474
      @nofurtherwest3474 3 роки тому +2

      can you explain the joke to me? i'm slow i don't get it thx

  • @NikolausUndRupprecht
    @NikolausUndRupprecht 3 роки тому +2

    2:00 that is so vicous and so true. I couldn't agree more.

  • @reichsfolger
    @reichsfolger 3 роки тому +43

    i'm facebook free,
    And as happy as can be,
    they threw me off of twitter,
    now i'm a grand slam hitter,
    woot woot!!!

    • @philalexander7902
      @philalexander7902 3 роки тому +2

      You're a Poet
      And don't Know It

    • @MyMusicHarbourage
      @MyMusicHarbourage 3 роки тому +1

      You're high,
      So bye bye.

    • @SixStringSicario
      @SixStringSicario 3 роки тому +1

      I was thrown off Twitter too.

    • @animinn2822
      @animinn2822 3 роки тому

      Didn't bother with either. They are nothing more than a self grandizing tool for narcissists.

  • @ttburn6338
    @ttburn6338 3 роки тому +35

    "The Big Lie" is the only program left for the "Grand" Old Party.

    • @ttburn6338
      @ttburn6338 3 роки тому +3

      @Rickie Matthews Do they call you "Rickie the Retarded" or "Village Idiot" in your home town?

    • @olddirtbiker5088
      @olddirtbiker5088 3 роки тому +1

      @Rickie Matthews Not the same Democrat party today in case you haven't noticed. That was about a hundred years ago. Come on Rickie, you can do better than that if you wear you tin foil hat and think real hard.

    • @romancewiththepast7979
      @romancewiththepast7979 3 роки тому +2

      @@olddirtbiker5088 The Dem's fought against civil right's bill of 1964.

    • @SaHaRaSquad
      @SaHaRaSquad 3 роки тому

      @@romancewiththepast7979 ...and the Republicans had candidates in 1940 that today would be called communists by everyone right of Bernie Sanders, what's your point? I bet your example in 1964 happened before you were even born. Breaking news, genius, we're living in 2021 and things have fucking changed. Even if some idiots in Britain haven't realised it before their misguided vote. The US would look much better if people started remembering shit in the last decade instead of 15 wars ago.

    • @anerrantknight8077
      @anerrantknight8077 3 роки тому

      @@olddirtbiker5088 eh, they’re still using race, just revised the tactic.

  • @user-hd8ej8yx9p
    @user-hd8ej8yx9p 3 роки тому +109

    Damn faster than HBO Max

  • @thereisnosanctuary6184
    @thereisnosanctuary6184 3 роки тому +13

    "I know it hurts, but you're almost there!"

  • @Ryan88881
    @Ryan88881 3 роки тому +93

    Bill "I think I know why you're happy today" Maher

  • @saintjames4671
    @saintjames4671 3 роки тому +1

    Bill already knows.... he’s the best.

  • @michaelanderson5232
    @michaelanderson5232 3 роки тому +18

    Actually it was the LEAST crazy week in over four years. You DO remember DJT dont'cha?

    • @mr.dynamite2543
      @mr.dynamite2543 3 роки тому +7

      Please...
      The crazy thing about the last four years was how badly MSM lied to the American people about Trump.
      The Left has been brainwashing people for years and it appears you’re one of them.

    • @resistanceisfutile3920
      @resistanceisfutile3920 3 роки тому

      @@mr.dynamite2543 👽🙄

    • @resistanceisfutile3920
      @resistanceisfutile3920 3 роки тому

      Donald who? Ignore the ignoramus. Feeding the troll is the only thing keeping it alive.

    • @resistanceisfutile3920
      @resistanceisfutile3920 3 роки тому

      @Scott Covert Weed and UA-cam comments don't mix. Put down the keyboard.

    • @puggmonkey
      @puggmonkey 3 роки тому +2

      @@mr.dynamite2543 I think you been drinking too much of that Fox Orange Kool-Aid, it's been warping your perception. Try to add some Realty to your Diet.

  • @lreinert1
    @lreinert1 3 роки тому +1

    I love the way you tell it like it is 👍

    • @billmaherofficialpage7917
      @billmaherofficialpage7917 3 роки тому

      Thanks so much for the comments and support you've showed me towards my carrier 💖, I'm so grateful and happy to check on you! You can message me privately on my number 469 591 1912 ❤️❤️💖

  • @johngranato2673
    @johngranato2673 3 роки тому +11

    This has been the best show on TV for a long, long time.

    • @traviskeeler5655
      @traviskeeler5655 3 роки тому +1

      And it became that right after this OTHER show called Politically Incorrect was cancelled! What a coinkydink!

    • @keithcameron8306
      @keithcameron8306 3 роки тому

      Your kidding right? His show is the worst show in the history of entertainment

    • @johngranato2673
      @johngranato2673 3 роки тому

      @@keithcameron8306 Well, I respect your opinion.

    • @91dodgespiritrt
      @91dodgespiritrt 3 роки тому

      SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP, SHEEPLE.

  • @MrZZooh
    @MrZZooh 3 роки тому +2

    Hard to keep a long distance relationship in a 66 thousand square feet home. Funny.

  • @elkoikan5993
    @elkoikan5993 3 роки тому +13

    So crazy how right cries about cancle couture but they trying to cancle Liz Cheney

    • @eagleeye1280
      @eagleeye1280 3 роки тому

      Dick Cheney and Barrack Obama are cousins.
      The swamp runs deep.

    • @anerrantknight8077
      @anerrantknight8077 3 роки тому +1

      I’ve also heard the left say there’s no cancel culture (I believe LeVar Burton called it ‘consequence culture’).
      Either way, it’s ridiculous for either side to use it.

    • @tical523
      @tical523 3 роки тому +1

      Not trying to cancel Cheney, just trying to strip her the right of speaking for “her constituents”. She can say whatever she wants and wherever she just doesn’t speak for who she supposedly represents. HUGE difference

    • @itsgottobesaid4269
      @itsgottobesaid4269 3 роки тому

      You don't get it do you?

    • @michaelangeloevans2722
      @michaelangeloevans2722 3 роки тому +2

      You don't seem to understand what cancel culture means

  • @maliksamarijones9304
    @maliksamarijones9304 3 роки тому +214

    Mitt Romney getting booed in Utah is like Trump getting booed at a spray tan convention 🤷🏿‍♂️

    • @kekistan4873
      @kekistan4873 3 роки тому +6

      TDS. Consult a doctor

    • @ricomajestic
      @ricomajestic 3 роки тому +2

      @@kekistan4873 Repukes-CDS since the 80s!

    • @bernardheadspeth9001
      @bernardheadspeth9001 3 роки тому +5

      @Tory Livingston Sore loser! Go infiltrate a federal building!

    • @Dee-gk6zg
      @Dee-gk6zg 3 роки тому +4

      @@bernardheadspeth9001 Don’t you have a Target to loot?

    • @bernardheadspeth9001
      @bernardheadspeth9001 3 роки тому +3

      @@Dee-gk6zg Yes because looting a Target is the same as trying to overthrow our government. Those riots were a result of terrible race relations while you losers fell for a con man and stormed the Capitol. Say it with me! Soore looosers!!😂😂

  • @NewMessage
    @NewMessage 3 роки тому +42

    And when Melinda dropped the divorce papers in his lap, I hope they were in a bright blue envelope with white writing in the Fixedsys font... and she made the Blue Screen of Death sound: "Done."

  • @Bootrosgali
    @Bootrosgali 3 роки тому +2

    "I'd recognise that mask from anywhere!" thanks im gonna use that as inspired by the first bit haha

  • @thomasrebotier1741
    @thomasrebotier1741 3 роки тому +9

    Micro-soft, she said!

  • @GUMPxGAMES
    @GUMPxGAMES 3 роки тому +6

    I love how after you delete all social media, you end up seeing it anyway from friends saying "did you see this". I'm like no I didn't, but thanks for sharing the shit I turned off.

    • @tomjohnson7529
      @tomjohnson7529 3 роки тому

      I get that same question and a comment about ‘if you had Facebook, you’d know’, from my younger sister. My response is generally ’why, I have you.’

  • @tiberiussempronious6252
    @tiberiussempronious6252 3 роки тому +79

    50% content. 50% clapping. We're getting back to normal

    • @blanegoggin7624
      @blanegoggin7624 3 роки тому +5

      0% entertaining

    • @dalastdon2574
      @dalastdon2574 3 роки тому +7

      @@blanegoggin7624 Then why do you watch?

    • @jpalmer1967
      @jpalmer1967 3 роки тому +8

      @@blanegoggin7624 You lost. Get over it. 😂

    • @northernpunx1978
      @northernpunx1978 3 роки тому

      @@dalastdon2574 gutfeld. (Seinfeld bass)Dum dum dum da dum.

    • @danethornberg3704
      @danethornberg3704 3 роки тому +1

      @@dalastdon2574 we keep thinking he'll come to his senses and return to comedy.

  • @tomlorenzen4062
    @tomlorenzen4062 3 роки тому +1

    Don't always agree with Bills politics, but still love the guy.

  • @cautiousoptimist
    @cautiousoptimist 3 роки тому +10

    I'm remembering Skylab...

  • @ronkirk5099
    @ronkirk5099 3 роки тому +19

    Does anyone still remember when NASA's Skylab fell to Earth in Western Australia 40 years ago?

    • @DeAnnaParisRN
      @DeAnnaParisRN 3 роки тому

      Yes
      I was 18.

    • @pbhpbh1379
      @pbhpbh1379 3 роки тому +1

      I guess that was in the pioneering stage of space travel. You would expect better today from modern space agencies.

    • @lantrick
      @lantrick 3 роки тому

      @@pbhpbh1379 derp

  • @tyarthas
    @tyarthas 3 роки тому +4

    Isn't a divorce just the IT equivalent of 'turning it off and back on again'?

  • @daniellashah7995
    @daniellashah7995 3 роки тому +8

    Love you Bill

  • @connorthompson1848
    @connorthompson1848 3 роки тому +6

    Sounds like canned laughter and applause from 1962.

  • @silvercloud1641
    @silvercloud1641 3 роки тому +19

    @2:53 That explains the guy walking into the ocean in GTA SA. 😆

    • @svscared
      @svscared 3 роки тому +2

      Umm I played GTA SA. Why don't I remember this?? Lol

    • @AdrianColley
      @AdrianColley 3 роки тому

      What are you thinking of? That's not in the game.

    • @silvercloud1641
      @silvercloud1641 3 роки тому

      @@AdrianColley Check out the videos "GTA SA Myth - The Truth About The Suicidal Photographer & Falling Lemmings
      " *and* "GTA San Andreas Suicide Photographer."

    • @LoinclothRising
      @LoinclothRising 3 роки тому

      Silver Cloud that’s a popular myth hole

  • @pinkypaite2803
    @pinkypaite2803 3 роки тому +6

    Love you Bill!!!

  • @opalacios666
    @opalacios666 3 роки тому

    I love you Bill.

  • @IRosamelia
    @IRosamelia 3 роки тому +8

    Mali is a landlocked country, I guessed dad escaped the country altogether before entering the ocean XD

    • @리주민
      @리주민 3 роки тому

      Mali, Maui, Malawi, meh 😋

    • @edelweiss8168
      @edelweiss8168 3 роки тому +1

      They were transferred to Morocco for the twins' delivery.

    • @silvalinan4077
      @silvalinan4077 3 роки тому

      Any country has a beach if you walk long enough.

  • @worldpeace5449
    @worldpeace5449 3 роки тому

    Bill Maher is awesome!

  • @Trag-zj2yo
    @Trag-zj2yo 3 роки тому +24

    Melinda just wants to be able to get a Mac.

  • @chrislapp9468
    @chrislapp9468 3 роки тому

    I'm a pro-Trumper and I still am compelled to listen to Bill...

  • @jarsithankgod7747
    @jarsithankgod7747 3 роки тому +31

    Because of the economic crisis and the rate of unemployment now is the best time to invest and make money 💯

    • @poonamnaik3491
      @poonamnaik3491 3 роки тому

      Exactly sir

    • @williamsmacroy2637
      @williamsmacroy2637 3 роки тому

      Investing in crypto currency is one of the best chance of making money 💸

    • @chrisrodriguez7012
      @chrisrodriguez7012 3 роки тому

      Buy gold and crypto

    • @silverlining8499
      @silverlining8499 3 роки тому

      I wanted to trade crypto but got confused by the fluctuations in price

    • @aluanopitter8988
      @aluanopitter8988 3 роки тому

      That won't bother you if you trade with a Professional like Mrs Maria Garcia

  • @DaMensch86
    @DaMensch86 3 роки тому +1

    Love you bill!

  • @Radical_Induction
    @Radical_Induction 3 роки тому +3

    Melinda Gates, how would you describe your ex husband?
    Microsoft

  • @academyofchampions1
    @academyofchampions1 3 роки тому

    Preach Bill, preach!!!

  • @martinthemillwright
    @martinthemillwright 3 роки тому +17

    For a single guy he sure knows how to crack a dad joke

    • @margo3367
      @margo3367 3 роки тому

      His writers probably aren't (single/without children).

  • @rothlis18
    @rothlis18 3 роки тому +1

    How can they clap

  • @patmischel6883
    @patmischel6883 3 роки тому +8

    I am fully vaccinated ready to roll.

    • @daleparker6308
      @daleparker6308 3 роки тому +1

      Perfectly positioned to be told that there are more vaccinations necessary for you in the near future LOL

    • @arthurfonzarelli9828
      @arthurfonzarelli9828 3 роки тому +1

      And you do realize that other countries have come out with data showing that at least have to even a little more than that of their new cases are from people that were vaccinated? You cannot trust the United States with this information anymore as this is a turned completely political and the lies come with that. Just a mere fact they're pushing people down that even want to bring up safety behind the vaccines tells you all you need to know with propaganda in this issue. Look into the fact that over 4,000 people claim to have family members who died right after the vaccine. They were easy to point everyone who died from covid as being legit but some reason no one wants to take serious these deaths from vaccinations, right there should tell you all you need to know about the legitimatcy behind the information

    • @patmischel6883
      @patmischel6883 3 роки тому

      @@arthurfonzarelli9828 Well catch the real virus then.

  • @SolaceEasy
    @SolaceEasy 3 роки тому +1

    "Not Really A Joke" Writers.

    • @SolaceEasy
      @SolaceEasy 3 роки тому +1

      Bill Gates and Bill Maher are Betamax.

  • @artlover4668
    @artlover4668 3 роки тому +8

    So everyone, in celebration of the Chinese space debris falling on us. Let us all take time to listen to Devo's great punk song "Space Junk" just once this weekend!

    • @mmaranta785
      @mmaranta785 3 роки тому

      First Covid from China, now it’s space junk. Easy to get a bad reputation.

    • @nodnodding7604
      @nodnodding7604 3 роки тому

      @@mmaranta785 Problem is the average American doesn't know how to distinguish the Chinese Communist Government to the Chinaman and a Chinese American who built the rail road back bone of this country.

  • @stellapivovarova5625
    @stellapivovarova5625 2 роки тому

    You make me really miss LA!👍🏻❤️

  • @ChristosM
    @ChristosM 3 роки тому +4

    The rocket after reentry will be the size of a bus and it’s being tracked like the last time this happened years ago. Relax. As for the rest? Yeah spot on as always.

  • @shannonschaerer1010
    @shannonschaerer1010 3 роки тому

    Right now there are 999Thumbs Down. So I flipped Upside down Laughed & Watched it -LOL!

  • @Spadedaps
    @Spadedaps 3 роки тому +6

    This is how democracy dies, by thunderous applause

  • @waynesitarz424
    @waynesitarz424 3 роки тому +1

    GOP:"Conform or be canceled. Resistance is futile."

  • @arbknight12
    @arbknight12 3 роки тому +6

    I want to know what the GOP would do if Trump were to pass away tomorrow

    • @buffstraw2969
      @buffstraw2969 3 роки тому +10

      They'd wait 3 days for him to rise from the dead.

    • @ThelurkingScottsman
      @ThelurkingScottsman 3 роки тому +4

      @@buffstraw2969 well played 👏👏👏

    • @buffstraw2969
      @buffstraw2969 3 роки тому +6

      @@Derek_T We can only hope.

    • @HeavyChevy
      @HeavyChevy 3 роки тому +1

      Probably celebrate in secrecy...

    • @TheKrazysexykool
      @TheKrazysexykool 3 роки тому +1

      In the movies when you take out the Mother Ship, the rest of the alien ships are destroyed.

  • @MytePro
    @MytePro 3 роки тому

    I was waiting for this

  • @markmcarthy596
    @markmcarthy596 3 роки тому +8

    For years my friends and family gave me crap about not being on Facebook or Twitter or the Other wastes of Time-No Profile on Me, no fake news, no constant “message bubbles”. Google hates Me but I still have those friends and My sanity

  • @jopo7996
    @jopo7996 3 роки тому +1

    Melinda is leaving Bill Gates, because his harddrive is a micro soft.

  • @AdrianColley
    @AdrianColley 3 роки тому +4

    I expect Microsoft to come up with a new Certified Compatible Partner program.

  • @janshiff9942
    @janshiff9942 3 роки тому

    Love u Bill . Love 💕 your show. 💓💓

  • @bobbucks
    @bobbucks 3 роки тому +10

    66,000 ft² house? Bill could have two mistresses living in the same house as his wife and they'd never meet.

  • @dansobrino
    @dansobrino 3 роки тому

    Loved the "They weren't compatible" joke.

  • @evilchaperone
    @evilchaperone 3 роки тому +14

    The guru of climate change lives in a 66,000 square foot house. What a joke.

  • @kentaylor8298
    @kentaylor8298 3 роки тому +1

    You know your a professional comedian when you can generate a laugh when there isn't any.

  • @renew5751
    @renew5751 3 роки тому +28

    Bill is really the odd ball in the late shows. He still makes jokes about Covid and China which makes a normal person a social pariah in certain groups.

    • @texajp1946
      @texajp1946 3 роки тому +1

      Seems the only things bipartisan in usa is military spending, supporting Israel, and bashing China, so gross

    • @timhildebrand1918
      @timhildebrand1918 3 роки тому +1

      @@texajp1946 supporting Israel is no longer bi-partisan. Israel-bashing, which was always haute on the far Left, has become standard doctrine in the DNC. The quiet ways the Biden admin is undermining Israel and emboldening her enemies will likely undo the Abraham accords within the next two years.

  • @jorypetiprin8646
    @jorypetiprin8646 3 роки тому

    Truth!!!!!!!!!

  • @rachellepeterson6225
    @rachellepeterson6225 3 роки тому +5

    "It is so good to see so much familiar masks!"🤣🤣🤣

  • @echoli40
    @echoli40 3 роки тому +2

    It is not mother's day on Sunday... It is Birthing people's day Sunday. Please...

  • @NewMessage
    @NewMessage 3 роки тому +13

    "Uncontrolled reentry" sounds like an Urban Dictionary heading.

    • @margo3367
      @margo3367 3 роки тому

      Won't it burn up upon reentry?

    • @NewMessage
      @NewMessage 3 роки тому

      @@margo3367 Almost certainly not. It might.. but it's size and composition make it VERY unlikely not to rain metal down in the path of decent. But.. on the bright side, it is far more likely to land in the ocean than on land, let alone a populated area.

    • @johnwattdotca
      @johnwattdotca 3 роки тому +1

      "Uncontrolled re-entry": I've done a few of those myself, first and second stage releases.

  • @christinegingras4954
    @christinegingras4954 3 роки тому

    No response, the best response? 🤦‍♀️🤣

  • @bearscotland1083
    @bearscotland1083 3 роки тому +3

    3:40 utah saint - brilliant 90s reference there. well done 👌

  • @Ryang170
    @Ryang170 3 роки тому

    Nice last joke lmao “weren’t compatible “

  • @brianmudd9821
    @brianmudd9821 3 роки тому +3

    You're looking nervous, Bill

  • @saaarice
    @saaarice 3 роки тому

    When you hear comments like "we stole it for your own good" that says it all. Who are the liers?

    • @pdoylemi
      @pdoylemi 3 роки тому

      And where have you heard that?

    • @anerrantknight8077
      @anerrantknight8077 3 роки тому

      @@pdoylemi the Time Magazine article didn’t use those words. It did say ‘the election wasn’t rigged, but fortified for the proper outcome.’
      I wouldn’t say they ‘lied,’ they just neglected to share until we’re after the election was over.

    • @pdoylemi
      @pdoylemi 3 роки тому +1

      @@anerrantknight8077
      The proper outcome is for the winner to win, you dipshit. "Fortified for the proper outcome" especially in an environment where we knew foreign actors (mostly Russia) were trying to interfere, means strengthening security to be sure that the election was fair, and everyone's vote counted.
      You certainly are errant, alright...

    • @anerrantknight8077
      @anerrantknight8077 3 роки тому

      @@pdoylemi did you read the article? Did the article read as though it was being secured for either candidate to win? Even Sanders wasn’t given an equal shot.
      Are we still running with the Russian interference bit? Hasn’t there been enough showing that wasn’t the case?
      “Strengthening security” would include signature verifications & showing IDs, no? What about permitting poll watchers to watch the whole count? Wouldn’t encouraging audits help strengthen security?
      “Dipshit”? Flattery will get you nowhere.

    • @pdoylemi
      @pdoylemi 3 роки тому

      @@anerrantknight8077
      Tell the CIA and FBI and DOJ that the Russians weren't interfering - if you want to get called a dipshit again.
      Sanders WAS given an equal shot. And we DID signature verification and have never needed IDs, and still don't. And we do have poll watchers watching the whole count - just not every untrained goober who wants to crowd in. We also have press in the room and lawyers from both parties. And we had many audits and recounts, and no one objected. If you are referring to than circus going on in AZ, that is not an audit, it is a crime.

  • @tuseroni
    @tuseroni 3 роки тому +10

    bill: have you tried turning her off and turning her back on again?

    • @strangenrare8663
      @strangenrare8663 3 роки тому

      OMG Richard Ayoade's face is what came to my mind when I thought "heh--would Bill Gates have an IT guy? What would that look like?"
      I would upvote your comment further if I could :)

  • @buckyplayz1919
    @buckyplayz1919 3 роки тому

    Bill Maher..... the only liberal that tells the truth. Maybe there is hope. Way to go Bill!!!

  • @jopo7996
    @jopo7996 3 роки тому +12

    After the Chinese gave us Covid-19, they thought the out of control rocket would give us a booster shot.

    • @ryangrumbles2216
      @ryangrumbles2216 3 роки тому +1

      Now that's funny.

    • @hushmoney2058
      @hushmoney2058 3 роки тому

      China to America is like a Black Man being pulled by the cops ...

    • @neilsarath9812
      @neilsarath9812 3 роки тому

      Indian ocean. 🚀

    • @jeschinstad
      @jeschinstad 3 роки тому

      The Americans have never apologized for sending us the 1918 pandemic, killing a hundred million people. We could be even more specific and blame the people of Ohio. At least China did everything they could to stop it. The Americans just kept sending and sending. In reality, diseases happen from time to time. Neither the Americans or the Chinese are to blame. The Americans can be blamed for sending us the measels though, because that is on purpose.

  • @island_rogue1687
    @island_rogue1687 3 роки тому +2

    It's hard to laugh when he speaks the truth! 😂🤔😎

  • @toshaks
    @toshaks 3 роки тому +5

    2:05 He couldn't even say it with a straight face 😂

  • @geekdiggy
    @geekdiggy 3 роки тому +1

    2:04 you don't always have to finish a joke for it to work👍

    • @geekdiggy
      @geekdiggy 3 роки тому

      @@thomasj7506 you sound like the type who says this kind of thing a lot. you should relax.

  • @WindFireAllThatKindOfThing
    @WindFireAllThatKindOfThing 3 роки тому +5

    I would say that Bill and Melinda are getting a critical update which includes new "features" added to a browser he should have known better than to use

  • @jdub6153
    @jdub6153 3 роки тому +1

    The only 2 businesses that call their customers users: Drug dealers, Social Media....# Social Dilemma