Gay Jokes - Bill Maher

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  • Опубліковано 3 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 173

  • @reidhanson4827
    @reidhanson4827 3 роки тому +57

    I’m gay and I freaking love Maher’s gay jokes, because underneath them you know he’s on our side.

  • @edgartriay8485
    @edgartriay8485 3 роки тому +52

    Bill Maher, you're almost at Joan Rivers level on the gay jokes.
    I'm not offended by any of them. I enjoy them. Thank you.

  • @generalerica4123
    @generalerica4123 5 років тому +163

    "...20!"
    Neil DeGrasse Tyson. Ladies and gentlefolks, our favorite astrophysicist has done it again.

    • @accskaguy
      @accskaguy 4 роки тому +25

      Unless Glen likes getting caught, the answer is 19. Just a thought.

    • @Luisventuralaw
      @Luisventuralaw 4 роки тому +5

      @@accskaguy
      I immediately thought the same.

    • @DeusEx.Machina
      @DeusEx.Machina 3 роки тому +3

      @@accskaguy The Park Ranger is Glen’s boyfriend.

    • @hijodelaisla275
      @hijodelaisla275 3 роки тому +2

      @@accskaguy That's Glenn, with two Ns - Glen with one N is NOT gay.

    • @mattkastely1938
      @mattkastely1938 3 роки тому +1

      That’s me. Figure out the math, no matter what.

  • @robertschooner1812
    @robertschooner1812 3 роки тому +108

    I'm gay and I think he's funny as hell! If you can't laugh at yourself you need to be made fun of.

    • @A22DNAL
      @A22DNAL 3 роки тому +11

      Dude, say it! Humor is humor!

    • @gordonsmith4493
      @gordonsmith4493 Рік тому +1

      You are right there. Laughing at one's self is an endearing quality. Sadly it's being drowned on a murky cesspool of political correctness and wokeness. PS. Stay as you are.

    • @robertschooner1812
      @robertschooner1812 Рік тому

      @@gordonsmith4493 I would rather be a woke than asleep.

    • @jcrodriguez6324
      @jcrodriguez6324 11 місяців тому

      Bud that’s cause you understand that what he’s making fun of is the hypocrisy of the homophobic conservative

  • @henryw1002
    @henryw1002 5 років тому +95

    "They called him a Navy Seal ......... NOT because he was in Special Forces, Cause he was Always Balancing Balls on his Nose" LOL.

  • @oenrn
    @oenrn 3 роки тому +16

    The best part is that in "A brief history of Tim: from the big bang to black holes", that's the real subtitle with a whole new meaning.

  • @tahitiantreats
    @tahitiantreats 5 років тому +92

    I’m gay, and I approve these jokes. 👍
    LOL I love Bill Maher!

    • @tahitiantreats
      @tahitiantreats 5 років тому +10

      Just kidding Bill doesn’t need my approval or anyone else’s. He can say whatever he wants so long as it’s still a free country.

    • @jed-henrywitkowski6470
      @jed-henrywitkowski6470 4 роки тому

      @@tahitiantreats Hell yeah.

    • @chopin65
      @chopin65 3 роки тому +2

      Yeah. Me too. I keep thinking someone will expect us to be triggered. But I showed this to my boyfriend, and he laughed too.

  • @stevodfn
    @stevodfn 2 роки тому +15

    As a gay man I loved all of these. It only shows that Bill is knows the subject well and isn't just pushing rude insults. And why should anyone be exempt of being made fun of?

  • @stevesorrell9835
    @stevesorrell9835 5 років тому +99

    I don't care which side of the aisle you're on! That shit's hilarious 😹 Good on ya!

    • @thunderforthrc7457
      @thunderforthrc7457 5 років тому

      So true one of the best compilations

    • @ingriddubbel8468
      @ingriddubbel8468 5 років тому

      Its good for you NOT good on you.

    • @stevesorrell9835
      @stevesorrell9835 5 років тому +1

      Ingrid Dubbel
      Oops! I forgot. UA-cam is where one goes, when he desires to have his use of colloquialisms corrected by a total stranger.
      Thank you. I'll try harder 👍🏻

  • @kenbaker-ps6ej
    @kenbaker-ps6ej Рік тому +1

    How many people used the calculator on their phone and thought, “Holy shit. The answer is 20”?

  • @chopin65
    @chopin65 3 роки тому +55

    I am gay, and I laughed at everyone one of these jokes. I almost peed myself a couple times, so, thanks Bill.

    • @xhagast
      @xhagast 3 роки тому +3

      Lol, they are not anti gay, they are anti hypocrite.

    • @chopin65
      @chopin65 3 роки тому +3

      @@xhagast Exactly. They're real. I completely respect Bill. He keeps you honest.

  • @bradleyrichard
    @bradleyrichard 3 роки тому +8

    Attention all male stand-up comics...THIS is how you make gay jokes! I laughed at every single one of these moments. I won't name names, but there are a FUCK-ton of straight male comedians who think making jokes at the expense of the LGBT community is perfectly acceptable; but then they go and do it the wrong way. If you want some examples on how to poke fun at gay men and not be an asshole about it...Bill Maher is your source. He's also been an amazing ally. I'm sure he'll never read this comment, but I really do want to thank him for knowing how to be an ally AND know how to make jokes about us that actually make us laugh.

  • @katherynemero9355
    @katherynemero9355 5 років тому +99

    If they had gay math when I was growing up, I might have actually paid attention. Maybe.

    • @Zeldarw104
      @Zeldarw104 5 років тому +2

      Hahahahaha!! 😂😂😂You're not allowed to be funnier than bill?! 😁

    • @lewilewis3944
      @lewilewis3944 5 років тому

      Nah

    • @rodrigobraz2
      @rodrigobraz2 4 роки тому +2

      Yes, she is.

    • @kellymarkel576
      @kellymarkel576 4 роки тому

      This has nothing to do with the gay thing. I'm your age, you're my male doppelganger fala we have some of the same views. They just in Florida where I live, made the social distancing in the middle of a pandemic mandatory except in church. When they all die and it gets crazy here I wonder where their God will be then? So fucked up

  • @karlwashington6414
    @karlwashington6414 4 роки тому +24

    Charlie in my chocolate factory 🤣

  • @jesus-of-cheeses
    @jesus-of-cheeses 3 роки тому +10

    It’s actually 19 or less, because the time it takes to perform the actual inspection is not 0.

    • @hijodelaisla275
      @hijodelaisla275 3 роки тому

      I suspect NdGT of being unfamiliar with tearooms and lavatory inspections.
      What's an "actual inspection"? Anything like an inspection?

  • @Nighthawk-m9u
    @Nighthawk-m9u 4 роки тому +2

    Just gems, Bill....pure and simple.
    Put 'em together and you got one fine necklace.!

  • @leisurefarm
    @leisurefarm 5 років тому +5

    oh thank you so much! I couldn't get enough of it!

  • @kevsuc
    @kevsuc 3 роки тому +3

    My favorite that I found in another UA-cam video, about a new rule of Bill dislikes the idea of gay frat club: "fraternities is for fucking assholes, NOT for fucking assholes!!"

  • @nomorebushz
    @nomorebushz 4 роки тому +25

    I’m gay. This was hilarious!

    • @nomorebushz
      @nomorebushz 4 роки тому

      K C
      I felt like saying it. I was trying to provoke you personally.
      So there! :-)

    • @nomorebushz
      @nomorebushz 4 роки тому

      K C
      I can see the point on top of your head :-)

    • @kevineug
      @kevineug 4 роки тому

      @K C Because they were not making jokes about feet. You see my point?

    • @kevineug
      @kevineug 4 роки тому

      @K C i think you are a little off on this one. It would be more personal

    • @bradlocken2621
      @bradlocken2621 3 роки тому

      Doesn’t matter if you’re gay or not, they are just jokes. Nothing serious

  • @carljones7466
    @carljones7466 4 роки тому +7

    I love gay jokes and iam gay better a sense of humour than a life of ignorance

  • @edgartriay8485
    @edgartriay8485 3 роки тому +3

    Love it. Thank you!

  • @mazactal6063
    @mazactal6063 5 років тому +13

    Beyond brilliant ..... thanks Bill.

  • @joshuaalexander4984
    @joshuaalexander4984 3 роки тому +8

    And this is why free speach is so important! Otherwise we may never laugh 🤣

  • @ShovelChef
    @ShovelChef 5 років тому +22

    See, this is why I fux wit Neil. He is very often my kind of pedantic. My kind of nerd. What other famous person would actually answer that absurd, raunchy word problem, accurately, without flinching? I can't think of anyone. 😌👏👏👏👏 (0:22)

    • @desertdaisymarie6951
      @desertdaisymarie6951 5 років тому +1

      I’m not famous but I would..

    • @poowawatv6178
      @poowawatv6178 5 років тому

      i used to but tbh hes a perv...youll see

    • @anonUK
      @anonUK 5 років тому

      5 per hour. Pretty straightforward.

  • @richardthomas5852
    @richardthomas5852 3 роки тому +3

    Only Maher could get away with this. 🤣🤣🤣

  • @friendsoftheamazonjungle
    @friendsoftheamazonjungle 3 роки тому +2

    Gay jokes are cool 😂😂😂 Greetings from the Northern Peruvian Amazon Jungle 🇵🇪🌴❤️🙏

  • @Lendor100
    @Lendor100 5 років тому +12

    I love Neil, the Nerd king, but it obviously takes a gay nerd to answer this one, since the answer is 19. So be careful Glenn....

  • @nickbarcheck1019
    @nickbarcheck1019 3 роки тому +3

    I'm gay and this shit is hysterical.

  • @gigig6021
    @gigig6021 5 років тому +23

    Anthonyyyyyyy!!!😭😭😭😭😭

  • @wolfstar675
    @wolfstar675 3 роки тому +3

    I'm hilarious and this was gay!

  • @stephanmatuteschulz6209
    @stephanmatuteschulz6209 Рік тому

    Anthony Bourdain! Wow, now im said after all the laughter...

  • @mikelayton3810
    @mikelayton3810 5 років тому +41

    Not saying Jesus was gay, but he spent all his time with 12 other guys and wore a dress.

  • @primeror
    @primeror 5 років тому +5

    Love you Bill

  • @JB-oq6kc
    @JB-oq6kc 3 роки тому +3

    Funny, as always!

  • @michaeloftaoism
    @michaeloftaoism 3 роки тому +4

    RIP Anthony! 😔

  • @MrPlaiedes
    @MrPlaiedes 5 років тому +15

    RIP, anthony!! Ugh

  • @AndrewJamesMcQuinn
    @AndrewJamesMcQuinn 3 роки тому +1

    Maher has always been pro human rights, anti church, and absolutely NOT homophobic.

  • @jamesjackovich5886
    @jamesjackovich5886 3 роки тому +2

    If Larry Craig is in the stall next to you how many fingers should be waving at you?

  • @michaelpreston233
    @michaelpreston233 4 роки тому

    Wow! 'Some Real Comedy.

  • @jokendrick2124
    @jokendrick2124 2 роки тому +1

    Funnnnny!!!

  • @aklm79
    @aklm79 3 роки тому +1

    Hilarious!!! 🤣 🤣 🤣

  • @biz2130
    @biz2130 3 роки тому +2

    Screw political correctness and Bill this the man!!

  • @michelheroux3786
    @michelheroux3786 5 років тому +8

    He's funny, vaut a bit crazy!!!

  • @sagnikparida
    @sagnikparida 4 роки тому +2

    Hey, guys, can anybody figure out the original title of the made-up book, Bill mentions at 6:27? Thanks. (It's bugging me)

    • @jenniferhart559
      @jenniferhart559 4 роки тому +1

      It might be "Every Inch a King" (?)
      The cover somewhat resembles too stellabooks.com/books/mrs-j-worthington-bliss/every-inch-a-king/625714

    • @sagnikparida
      @sagnikparida 4 роки тому +2

      @@jenniferhart559 Yeah, seems so. Thanks.

  • @حمزه-ش8ع
    @حمزه-ش8ع 5 років тому +19

    “20”

  • @seanxu2517
    @seanxu2517 5 років тому +13

    Hahahaha hahahahahaha

  • @karlwashington6414
    @karlwashington6414 4 роки тому +3

    They could tell without asking

  • @michaelsexton8650
    @michaelsexton8650 4 роки тому +5

    DeGrasse Tyson was wrong. The answer was 19. 20 would get the guy caught

    • @konstantinopoulos33
      @konstantinopoulos33 3 роки тому

      To be fair Bill didn’t ask how many without getting caught, just how many. He can do 20, then get caught and prevented from doing more. That’s one more than if he doesn’t get caught, so 20 is the maximum...

  • @canocano5480
    @canocano5480 3 роки тому

    A+

  • @MuhammedMuhammed-vd5or
    @MuhammedMuhammed-vd5or 5 років тому +2

    ohh my god ... this is beyound funy ..

  • @thatguy22441
    @thatguy22441 5 років тому +12

    What Navy guys call "snorkeling", Army guys call "Arabian Goggles" or the "Roman War Helmet." It isn't actually homoerotic. It's really juvenile, though.
    Speaking of gays in the military, I saw the attitude go from severe homophobia to utter indifference. Between 9-11, Iraq, Afghanistan, BRAC (Base Realignment And Closure, re-flagging units, closing installations...basically a mass reorganization) during the middle of a two-front war and guys doing multiple deployments, the issue of homosexuality in the ranks became far less pressing. In fact, our attitude became that it wasn't very manly to let it get to you. Anyone who let that get to him would let other things get to him and would become a liability in a firefight.
    Our stoic attitude was another example of that "toxic masculinity" feminists go on and on about.

  • @tehutibrim594
    @tehutibrim594 4 роки тому +1

    A walkout kloset, this guy

  • @jackcherbourg2899
    @jackcherbourg2899 2 роки тому

    Hardly a Navy seal, more like a Navy bear

  • @Posijax
    @Posijax 3 роки тому

    Nice

  • @sylkelster
    @sylkelster 3 роки тому

    Answer can't be twenty unless the inspections last 0 time.

  • @bonniemccarley3355
    @bonniemccarley3355 5 років тому +2

    WAIT,WAIT YOU ARE MY PRETTY BOY

  • @wirechair
    @wirechair Рік тому

    :58 the answer is not 20. If the question is how many you can do between check ins then you can do 19 and will be finishing the 19th on the 4th hour or 240th minute. 20 would be starting on the 240th minute but that would be when the park ranger is returning and you cannot actually afford to start it then. It won’t be between check ins. That’s the correct math and even the world renowned physicist got it wrong.

    • @ChiSam-kw5jk
      @ChiSam-kw5jk Рік тому

      Even a black genius is stupid by any standard measure.

  • @mikeharrison4846
    @mikeharrison4846 3 роки тому

    Funny man !

  • @FrankValenzuelajr
    @FrankValenzuelajr 8 місяців тому

    That is everyone’s to damn sensitive you got it right

  • @jamesjackovich5886
    @jamesjackovich5886 3 роки тому

    If your an astronaut that's loves to land on Uranus

  • @mariaavery1212
    @mariaavery1212 Рік тому

    They can if the were heels. They do have heels for men. Le Bron James did.

  • @canocano5480
    @canocano5480 3 роки тому

    Lmao!!

  • @mikejackson5666
    @mikejackson5666 Рік тому

    Gay math,,,lmao

  • @ingriddubbel8468
    @ingriddubbel8468 5 років тому +2

    They don't teach actual history in public schools.

    • @TheBeatle49
      @TheBeatle49 4 роки тому

      I agree! Especially in the South where they skip over slavery.

  • @blakeandersen4975
    @blakeandersen4975 4 роки тому +1

    😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @vladtepes7539
    @vladtepes7539 4 роки тому

    about homosexuals too.

  • @nomorebushz
    @nomorebushz 4 роки тому +3

    Walk out closet!

  • @Magnabee97
    @Magnabee97 Рік тому

    Too gay for the navy? Not anymore.

  • @DonJuanMarco1994
    @DonJuanMarco1994 2 роки тому

    😆😆😆😆😆😆

  • @thelonewanderer4084
    @thelonewanderer4084 5 років тому +2

    Omg

  • @josecampechano6136
    @josecampechano6136 3 роки тому

    Neal :20

  • @stranraerwal
    @stranraerwal 5 років тому +1

    Bill tells those (partly very old and rather "fucked up") gay jokes with a certain relish...too much relish, maybe?

  • @anthonydin4401
    @anthonydin4401 3 роки тому

    Only God can Judge! Not Bill Maher

  • @bigbaba1111
    @bigbaba1111 Рік тому +1

    This guy is hilarious.:)

  • @specialized29er86
    @specialized29er86 Рік тому

    When was the first gay person and is that why God murdered all humans on Earth.

  • @travisjones640
    @travisjones640 5 років тому +1

    Can’t make these jokes in woke 2019

  • @natanfernandopereiramartin3491
    @natanfernandopereiramartin3491 3 роки тому

    I don't support the democratic party. !!!