“Decentering Men”: The Latest Feminist Talking Point
Вставка
- Опубліковано 22 тра 2024
- 0:00 - Intro
1:04 - The Office Reboot Incoming?
7:45 - The Feminist "Decentering Men" Trend
9:06 - Decentering Men Is a Daily Practice
14:45 - Get the Bag to Decenter Men
20:37 - The Decentering Men Guidebook
34:46 - The "All Men Suck" Narrative Online
50:25 - Superchats!
A new Feminist trend about “Decentering Men” is sweeping TikTok. Do they have a point, or is this selling women on a lifestyle that’s not going to deliver on the happiness it promises? Let’s get into it.
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Decentering men has nothing to do with feminism, and everything to do with embracing self validation. That is something most women are never taught.
That's how I interpreted it as well. It can even be more simplified to learning to not rely on outside approval.
exactly. they pinpoint anything on feminists and feminism
Keep trying to rationalize what is obviously toxic & hateful.
@@matthewatwood8641it’s not hateful or toxic 😂😂 men are always mad when women don’t live their lives for them.
@@Ibexi13 Silly nonsense.
I want a man that has strengths where I lack, and my strengths are what he lacks. But also someone that I can have confidence in providing a good environment to build a family with
You know, I think I agree.
Sounds solid, very reasonable desire.
With this mentality, I can almost guarantee you will be successful in a marriage. ❤
Too many people are trying to compete with each other in their relationships, and ultimately the relationship fails every time because it’s not a competition, it’s a partnership. ❤
Of course ur correct👍.And somehow I really don't think that check in the first Vid segment needs be concerned about the Male Species& how she is perceived!
this is the right approach. every part of the family has a significant role to play. my wife helps me as much as i help her. it needs to be a give and take situation.
when I see/hear the term "centering" I know a narcissist is about to start rambling.
I don't even know what that is lol I'm waiting for her to explain. I think they just are making up crap now too suit what they want lol
When I hear “centering” I think about yoga chicks telling me to center my chakras
Or when they say like “in proximity to” like bruh. Stop being weird and just say you don’t like group X 🤣
Lol, I think of centering a photograph…
It's Neo-Marxist language, that's why these people speak in gobbledygook...
"You've never met a man more powerful than you" 🙄. Why are people so weird these days? My husband is strong where I'm weak and vice versa and that's part of how we work so well. I think these people are trying to sell being single long-term bc they are.
It's best to avoid western modern women
Yup! Just substitute any random pronoun for man and it becomes really evident that this entire thing is mental illness.
@@notoriousj_ Women should be the one's getting their passports and leaving this country. 99% of problems caused by ---
Lol you're mad someone feels good about themselves? It's a figure of speech. Not everyone wants to be married, especially in a society where Andrew tate exists and say's men should cheat. Decenter men 2023.
youre so right… ppl are weird these days. i think i used to be somewhat this type of girl before (not quiet to this extent) but i had a lot of issues receiving help from my bf when we were first together because i kept thinking he thought low of me or thought i was weak and that’s why he wanted to help. i was always on the defense with my guard up and it ruined our first memories together because id ruin it with my own weird thoughts. i truly believe women like this have issues and cant see the good in anything. they think any good action cant be good it must have some underlying meaning that doesn’t benefit them. my bf later on told me how it really upset him that i kept misunderstanding his intentions and it made him nervous to even help me out because he thought id have an outburst and take it the wrong way. he was just loving me the whole time and wanted to share the load which so many ppl want and i took that for granted and twisted it into something it wasnt.
idk how he managed to stay with me while i was like that. i know for sure if i dealt with someone who was refusing to receive my love and constantly misunderstood me id be exhausted.
You meet the right person when you meet the right person. Stop stressing over it. My grandmother didn't meet the right person until her 40's and still had 3 kids. My great-great-niece met the right person in her 20's. You can't hunt for the right person. It just happens when it's supposed to for each person. Some it never happens to.
I fully agree. That's why I'm refusing to use the dating apps. I believe the right person will come to me naturally. I'm not gonna force it.
when you least expect it
As I (a centrist) have been trying to say to my liberal friends, we don’t need to put the majority down to lift the minorities up. Not everything needs to be obsessing over power dynamics and hatred.
We also don't need to impose in religious rituals and can create our own spaces
I have people close that’s both far left and far right. The only thing I’ve learned is extreme sides is a recipe for disaster. It’s been exhausting politically. Very few who you can actually have a conversation with about these things
Them why are you doing it? Women has as many rights as men. If you want to "lift up" minorities then leave them alone! Stop holding them down! Asians were taken and put in camps less than 100 years ago and they are doing better than any other race in the U.S. They are the actual minorities having fewer than any other race. People move here from Africa and quickly become successful not because of their race but because the left didn't have time to convince them they can't do it. When it comes to race, Morgan Freeman said it best. Look it up.
Its what they do, its who they are. Rage is the lifeline of the Liberal Left.
Why do you assume any of this is motivated by hatred?
Is it me, or does "decentering" men sound a whole lot like making men the center of your life in a much more intentional way than just living normally because everything you're doing now is about consciously focusing on how it interacts with or reflects on men so you can try to not?
It’s like that psychology test where someone says “don’t think about a pink elephant”, but it’s impossible because you’re instantly thinking about the pink elephant.
They want us all to be below them
Good point. Imo whether they're conscious of it or not this is just a female competition strategy, they don't want other women to look pretty and have happy relationships
💯
It’s like the young adults who refuse to do anything their parents do... but then they’re still letting their parents influence their decisions- whether you’re doing something just because they do or just because they don’t you’re still living your life based on their influence.
So… men should de-center themselves, unless they claim that they are women. Then, they should speak for us.
YES! LMFAO.
MGTOW
😂 yes this! I'm so over this 💩
Me, a gay man- clearly has internalised homophobia and I'm transphobic, not liked by straight people, not liked by religious people- there's not much of a group for the minorities who don't agree with fascism and we are getting a whole lot more hate recently
How are they making us all pariahs in our own communities
We were meant to compliment each other. Coming in any relationship with, "what are you bringing ME." Never are healthy relationships.😢
Yup. That's how we evolved. We are now in an era when we can clone ourselves and reproduce in an artificial womb.
Welcome to the future.
@@LiamColeman-Halla-yq2jlyeah. I just wanted hoverboards and replicators, but instead we get this dogshit. 😂
@@prestonroberts2941 cloning is part of the future, it's more advanced than painful pregnancy. Artificial wombs are far from dog s***.
Yes, "we WERE meant" - past tense.
Men and woman added to each other for millenia.
Today, the worst thing that can happen to a man is a relationship with a modern woman.
Just look at wedding rates and how many your men have completly lost any interest to even talk to a woman any longer.
Because the risk of a simple interaction is huge.
And the "price" - a relationship - is a horrible price.
So if you risk your life by playing the game and even if you "win" you basically loose - there is only one option left:
You stop playing the game.
And every statistic shows, that this is exactly what more and more young men are doing.
Cobra Kai is the only show I’ve been thrilled about.
It is able to have strong male and female characters both white and of color.
Without making it the center of the entire show.
As much as love the show.
I almost want it to end before the woke vampires get to it.
I love cobra Kai but I’m personally offended that you associate vampires with wokeness 😂
I think the secret is that Gen X is involved in the writing of Cobra Kai. If it was millennial/Gen Z it would b woke from the beginning.
I got married when I was 23. We had been together since I was 19 and my husband was 21. So basically we grew to be adults together which is a wonderful thing actually, because we did it together. Has it been hard, yes at times, but has it been worth it, definitely. We ended up having kids a bit earlier than we were expecting (I was 26), which means I had to put my university studies on hold for about 4 years. Only now getting back to finishing my masters degree. There are so many routes one can take in life. Too much expectation to any side (getting married early, or having a full on career early) is bad because life happens and you can't always plan everything. You try to make the best out of any situation.
Okay, my point was 😆. I had a lot of ambitions when I was young. Both when it comes to relationships and my career. I wanted to find someone to share my life with, I always wanted a man to share my life, to be my partner in this life. I was lucky and I found that, actually during the time I wasn't even looking for it. I also wanted to get a high paying job, a good career. I used to be good in school and I think there was a lot of expectations on me. I still have some of that ambition on me, I want to finish my masters and get a good job. But now getting close to 30, my dreams are not about a job, it's just a way to get money. My deepest dreams are definitely about my family, creating memories together. That doesn't mean a man is the center of my life. Nope, our family is. My life is. I just happen to love my husband and enjoy sharing my life with him and our children. And that seems now more important than my career. I don't know if that's bad, sometimes I feel bad for losing some of my ambitions regarding my career. But that may be because I also hear all the time that I'm supposed to have my own career as a woman and try to go high. Maybe having masters and having a regular job is enough to feel accomplished.
You're my hero
Sounds to me like you are doing better than most
@@chrisrussell8245 I can see your point. Oh, I forgot to mention. I live in Finland where university is free. So to get a master's degree all I need to do is to get into the school and pass my courses. It's not a burden financially and basically anyone who has any interest in having a university degree can have it. There is still alot of pressure as a woman to be independent and aim for the CEO positions. I used to want that too, nowadays I'm fine with just having an okay paying job that can pay the bills.
And you are already so much better off! Doing my best not to envy you girl.
In my 30s and have none of those things. I know so many women (and men) my age who have their degrees/masters etc only hate their lives, careers, cheat on their partner, traumatising their kids in the process.
I think Finland is lucky to have held onto the Christian and/or family focused values (making an assumption based on an old housemate).
I didn’t find my husband until we were 34. I definitely wanted to get married earlier, but had some emotional things I had to go through (alone) or it would’ve been toxic. I would’ve LOVED to have been married young to him, but we would be divorced by now. So grateful we were able to grow in our thirties together at least, and I’ve forgiven myself for not being the confident self assured person, like yourself, that would’ve had a successful young marriage. We all have a different story, and wholeheartedly dislike people saying how it should be.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
34 is still young though… glad you found each other 🙏🏾
I love this! A lot of people online are saying there's an "ideal age" to get married. I am that age and I feel like I am just starting to be an adult. Also have not met anyone I desire to marry. It's comments like this that help me remember that I'm not doing anything wrong. I will have my own path
@@TheNinjapancake14There is no ideal age! And never will be. But when you’re ready, mentally and spiritually, you will attract someone who’s also mentally and spiritually ready. If you don’t push it, it will happen on your own time. When I was really ready (I wanted to be a mom so badly), I wrote a prayer with all the qualities I wanted in a man, put it in a jar, and really let go. I met him a few months later, love at first sight, and he ticked off all the boxes. There’s too much pressure due to parents, and now social media. Glad you are confident enough to do what’s best for you!
@@joydanleigh7711❤❤❤
Fascinating conversation. I think what's missing from your commentary is the understanding that hyper-independence is a trauma response from deep relational wounding and this narrative is very comforting for those who are seeking validation for a choice they feel drawn to out of fear. Trauma does not get healed overnight and people have to still live daily finding ways to prepare themselves for the real healing, which is a long road. Speaking from experience, as a 54 year old unmarried, childless trauma survivor, I know what it means to find ideologies that affirm where i'm at and I still am glad I'm not married and have no kids. It's a very good idea to take time to understand your attachment style before you get knee deep into commitments for life. Repeating trauma is very real when unconscious. It doesn't surprise me that we have this in the social narrative. You are blessed if you do not have relational trauma. What you are doing here is highlighting trauma response and that needs grace.
I think the better way to think about the partner you are seeking is to look for someone who compliments your life. AND.....you compliment their life. The biggest problem I am seeing is that there are too many people thinking only of how this partner will work with THEIR life.
Yes, I think that's the thing that makes marrying young easier than older, despite immaturity causing problems an older couple may not face. You definitely grow together when young, if only because neither of you yet has a sense of your solo trajectory through the world. You make the first one together.
The happiest couples I see seem to be the ones where regardless of the ups and downs both partners feel that they married up.
These days, there's a better chance of finding a box of gold coins than finding a woman in it for the long haul. When times are good, she's all in, things start going rough, it's off to Facebook to look up the men from her past or those she doesn't know who liked her multiple profile photos...
I am a successful artist, I make a living from art and have for a while, yet the happiest I have ever been has been in a healthy long term relationship (getting married next month!) Having a partner whom I love dearly and who loves me to share in all of life’s other sources of joy has only led to even more happiness. So yeah don’t settle for boys who don’t value you and don’t revolve your whole world around them, but there is so much joy to be had in finding your person.
I hope you live a long life with your partner 🎉
Congratulations to all men and women who have found success and happiness on your own. Now imagine sharing that with someone you love, who you want to be more successful, and even happier than you. Now, that is a truly beautiful thing!
Signed the guy who has been married 22yrs.
Love this discussion. (Close to halfway through.) Marriage in your 20's vs later in life... Speaking strictly for myself, I married in my early 20's. I believed that we would grow together and grow old together. He was 5 yrs older than me, and I believed he was mature and experienced. I was wrong. He didn't want to learn or grow. He wanted the status quo to remain exactly as it was. I grew miserable and got divorced. Our kid paid a huge price for my naivete. I love your perspective, Amala, but on this particular subject it just isn't realistic. You don't know how people are going to be 10 yrs down the road. People can and do grow apart. I wanted him to grow with me, and his attitude turned out to be he was fine, and it was my problem. No emotional support, no putting the marriage first. It was unfortunate.
This, this, this. As a 37-year-old divorced single mom, I urge all young women to find a skill, work, and save your money. And THEN you will be in the correct headspace to find a man whose maturity level and stuff is aligned with yours. Freeze your eggs if you're that freaked out about having bio kids.
Thank you for sharing a realistic perspective. There isn't a one-size-fits-all scenario for this. Everyone will have their own path
I think it boils down to each and everyones own personnality. Some ppl need to ""have fun"" and experience different stuff to know what they want. Others dont
I think dating can actually help you figure out who you are. Some people make it seem like failed relationships are this horrible thing when in reality they teach you something
People are different. I don't need to figure out nothing through dating cause I can do that through platonic relationships. Learning to listen and respect people in general. If I were to keep changing energies in my personal space because I want to learn I would end up broken and bitter. My personal space is pure gold, RESPECT, KINDNESS rule which are things you hardly find in the modern dating space. Which is why I'm no longer interested, it only teaches me to treat humans like items and I would never allow myself to use other humans, at least not when I am aware of it
Your new music intro is excellent, it is groovy and melodic indeed. Congratulations on the new format/show.
I look at at this and feel sad, I see men and women as a team! With there own individual skills they bring to their relationship. Most importantly they both need to have respect and loyalty for each other, it seems so simple to me ❤❤
I agree and it is sad. Specialty the post and comments just above yours.
I literally own 'The Office' on DVD (for a reason). The newer version of it, I hope, will not disappoint me.
The new Office series is trash
The Office is boring AF
"Never met a ___ more ___ than me" it's narcissism. If you're better than everyone around you, then you're just surrounding yourself with people of lower quality on purpose.
That makes no sense. Some people are born to disgusting people. An Indian women named Nina was born to parents who tried to kill her and other relatives who also participated in beating. She was literally born surrounded by awful people. The reality is that most humans are trash and people constantly celebrate those high in dark tetrad traits and it's clearly been bred at a high rate into the human population
You just spit more wisdom in one comment than everyone in the entire thread!
yall call everyone narccissists
@@letgo4331 Because it's common. Humans have clearly bred themselves to be high in dark tetrad traits and there are all lot of disgusting, abusive people in the world. Including overprivileged people who are born to loving families and blame others for being born to crappy ones.
@letgo4331 if it doesn't give cluster B vibes, then what is it?
When they say “reboot”, what they really mean is “we can’t come up with anything of our own so we’re going to destroy something that is good”
Netflix has had several original series and movies that were outstanding but then they cancel them because they choose quantity over quality. They are failing miserably now because of it though. Getting into a show only to have it end abruptly after only one season is almost as bad as "woke" remakes however.
Great stream, even though it froze at the end 😂❤
Oh and Amala, this episode content was very interesting. Keep up the great work, and Taylor I do think that more relationship related content would be welcomed by your audience!
23, Amala😮! I'm thinking 83 with all of that knowledge you have. I still have my dictionary close by when you begin to speak. You're so sensible to be so young. Taylor has such a kind disposition. I enjoyed the video. 😊😊😊😊😊😊
I’m in my late 50’s. I’ve been married and divorced (abusive marriage). I have 2 children that I’m totally happy that I had. I dated and had one relationship out of many that was great but ended. I didn’t find anyone that wanted a woman with young children. I was very disappointed. I decided not to pursue another relationship just because it wasn’t worth it. Are there good men out there ? YES! I just never found one. I’m happier now because I’m focused on what my kids are doing to achieve their goals. It’s not easy out there but don’t alienate yourself from what maybe a wonderful life with a great man because of someone else’s ideology. If God sends a good man my way then I’ll be grateful.
#BaggageLife
The problem isn't the men in your life, it's you. I guarantee it, character IS destiny
@@anthonyburn1010 Really? I’m not difficult to get along with. It’s harder to find a man that wants to be involved with a middle aged woman with children, FACT. I’m not angry about that fact, it is what it is. Like I said there are good men out there. It’s not my fault that my ex mentally and physically abused me. So tell me what am I at fault with? Nothing!
@@pamjames9077- It’s not your fault at all. Scrub those thoughts.
With love, you are defining yourself by your experiences, and finding yourself lacking.
I know this, because I was you.
You need to find, and prioritise YOU.
You’re not defined by a divorce, your history, a man, your children……
I almost destroyed myself trying to find reasons for my past experiences, and wondering what was wrong with me.
Finally, I accept that unhealthy relationships represent your image of self.
I let people treat me like crap, because I felt crap about myself.
We attract people who reinforce our self perception.
I was so desperate to be validated by a good man, that I saw any male interest as ‘good’.
Then they treated me badly, so I blamed them.
I eventually looked for myself, and how I wanted to be validated. I didn’t know who I was, or how to be happy.
Now, I’m happy. I do positive things that make me feel happy.
I do positive things for my children.
If someone comes along, and enhances that one day, it could be wonderful.
I have no expectation, or requirement for a relationship.
The hard truth!@@anthonyburn1010
Haha yeah I remember this guy who was interested in me, he was totally red pilled. He asked me if I had an only fans and I was like "what, do you actually believe I would/could be an only fans girl? I'm a mom well over 30" 😂 I just remember laughing about it. Still do. Like what did he imagine me doing on only fans? Working a full time job taking my kid to school, putting her to bed at night and then throwing on a wig to start my night shift? 😂 Men and women have drifted so far apart, it's sad.
That is such an insane thing to ask a women but that is how red pill portrays women.
You guys are awesome ~ such a great discussion. Exactly, LOG OFF !
I think all of this kind of thought pattern is very unhealthy mentally.
It indicates a person who is unbalanced.
No one used to ever think this way.
People think about and concentrate on whatever they are interested in, and we can be interested in more than one thing at a time.
There has never been a world in which "men" were universally "centered" by society, women, etc.
Women have been oppressed for hundred of years, not full citizens in the USA as they did not have voting rights. Women couldn’t even have their own line of credit until a few decades ago. Women were second class to men. By design, women were support/slaves to men. Forced child rearing absolutely was a way that society centered men. Women’s labor was all for the benefit of men. Women’s lab
or and reproductive role was exploited to center men.
A voice crying in the desert😞🙏♥️
Men are simultaneously hated the most, and expected to do the most for most western nations. Women really don't realize how good we have it.
The whole world was built for men.
@@letgo4331 Not even close to being correct.
My wife and I started dating after high school graduation and have been together for over 10years. Now we have a baby in our early 30s and we both have definitely grown together. Our younger selves would not recognize who we’ve grown into. It’s definitely worth growing with your partner
Sad the live glitched at the end😢
Good luck with your new show!
I'll just keep watching foreign media, thanks. Also... if you're spending all your time thinking about not thinking about men... doesnt that mean you're not only still centering your life around men, but even more so? Please ladies... don't take relationship or life advice from social media.
Not only they do, but they stay alone (while complaining to be alone) in the process so 0% win😂
Ha ha, totally! It's exactly the same thing as telling someone not to think of a giraffe. What are you thinking about now? Yes, it's stupid. Also: being proud of not having met a man who is more powerful than you... What a strange wish! I personally would feel miserable if I never met anyone who is better than me. In fact, I'm looking for people who are better than me, whom I can learn from, whether they are men or women. The idea of being the best among idiots, like in the movie Idiocracy, is a nightmare. But I suspect that she just wasn't bright enough to realize that she actually wasn't the most powerful in the room. That's probably closer to the truth. Damn, people need to learn humility!
Goes for both genders actually… porn is just the male version.
Absolutely. It's super weird. I've never thought about this, and I can pretty much guarantee I "center" men in my life much less than this woman.
@@shauhame6364 That's the red pill. Don't project
Putting your relationship (especially a marriage) over your friendships is not about "centering men." Men should be doing that too. It's about putting peoole in their proper hierarchy in your life.
God --> Husband/Wife --> Kids --> everyone else. That's how it should be.
We can't just value each person in our lives for who they are and have a community ?
@@lillypilly6440 of course we can... nothing I just said precludes you from valuing everyone in your life and having community.
Very peaceful good vibes from your cohost :)
Amala and Taylor add a refreshing voice of reason to emotional topics. This show is very important especially to young people trying to navigate life through a sea of distracting viewpoints. Amala and Taylor, keep up the great work! Many thanks for doing what you're doing!
"You have never met a man more powerful than you."
I have. I've met several. My father and my brother are primary among them. And I love and adore them both, thank you.
To the individuals trying to "advise" women into celibacy in their early years and focus on making all the money they can first... we have that already. We have been seeing the fallout of that already. Women who were lied to by modern feminism and made a fortune and got the big job with the big house and are now in their mid to late 40s and are crushed under loneliness because all the good men didn't wait around for them and got married
Should you make anyone the center of your life? No. That leads to co-dependance as opposed to interdependance. But unless you know, fully and completely, that you wish to live on your own, you should not be pressured by these people who insist on your behalf that you'll be better off living as THEY want you to because of their own prejudices or inadequacies and neuroses
Those 40 something women are REALLY not that lonely.
@@shans1986no children no husband or wife? It always comes down too what will happen when I’m old. Who will hold my hand when I die? That’s the stuff you don’t think about when your younger and just focused on living in the moment it’s great to live in the moment but planning for the future is important aswell
Women have always been a liability for men… modern women have pushed it to a point of , not worth it
@@Raphaeltheslayer Plenty of married men with grandchildren die alone in the group home. It's all about how you treat people in your life.
@@TheNinjapancake14Sure, but they do at much lower rates than lifelong bachelors.
I met a girl who took decentering men so far that she was cutting off her friendships with those who were dating men. Which is so sad both for those friends and for herself bc she's going to end up isolating and alone
Perhaps ending up alone and isolated is what she needs to finally see herself clearly. As long as other people are there, she can always project and blame them for her issues, but once she is alone, she will be forced to confront herself.
Good for her. Female friends who only talk about men are emotionally draining. C*ck worshippers.
If they were the boy mad types then it makes sense not to want to be friends with them but not if they have healthy relationships and have other things in their lives.
54:00 oh my goodness, thank you! My day was really chill! Just been trying to find home for the kittens my husband and I have been fostering and then went to a friends house for dinner and games! I love you guys!!!
I looooove your sweater! ❤
I HATE THE REBOOT OF QUANTUM LEAP!!
Whose ever idea that was should be FLOGGED!!!
IT'S DISGUSTING!!! FOR THAN ONE REASON 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮
🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬
Yup.
Idk when I was young and wild I attracted what I put out. I mellowed out fast and then naturally attracted men who wanted to chill, and have a healthy relationship 😅.
Futurama! Glad it’s back. Literally the only one I can think of though 😂
The fact they are on tik tok should be enough to tell you what kind of women the are ! Single to start with.....
I don’t think being on tik tok has any relationship to whether you’re in a relationship or not it’s just their mentality that is backwards and wrong
That has zero basis. Those 2 things are mutually exclusive
Love the new channel. Video length does make it hard for me to keep up. As for “decentering” seems extreme. I get the whole not making your whole life someone else’s but if you will only enter into a relationship with someone who in no way impacts your life I would argue you are not in a relationship. Everything is a give and take. The real question is do you gain more from what you are given then what you let go.
I NEVER watched a single episode of "the office "🤷♀️ none of it ever appealed to me.
No reason to start now😊
I watched the original Office, it was funny. "That's what she said"...Michael Scott
Sorry for the superficial comment but your warderobe lately is amazing!
You both have some excellent points, the only issue is that it is such a hard gamble. I have a life and still no one after years of trying.
I've been married for 22 years this month, and I know and appreciate the fact that he is stronger and smarter than me in most things, not all, but most. It's a nice balance that we work on daily. Sometimes you'll feel like you are stronger, sometimes you'll feel smarter, and sometimes you will be, however it's 85% to 15% in favor of men, and I'm totally cool with that. However, as a woman, I'm more nurturing, empathetic, and curious so it all works out!❤
Lol, all depends on the individual couple. I’ve been married for 23 years this past August as well. But we have the exact opposite ratio. Which used to be rather difficult to navigate but we’ve figured out a working dynamic. Which is actually the more common situation according actual levels of intelligence, in that statistically speaking women are on average more intelligent.
@@sarahalderman3126 There is no statistically significant difference between the average IQ scores of men and women.
@@rossborrell9243 actually because intelligence is dispersed differently for each sex, it is. With the top men being ever so slightly above the top women, however the majority of women are on average “above average” in comparison to the majority of men due to genetics. Statistically speaking the chances are significantly greater that the woman in a heterosexual relationship will have a higher IQ. Whether or not IQ relates to “intelligence” is certainly controversial though.
Ur okay being considered less than, other women aren't. We have different wants
Clearly don't have sons. Nothing wrong with centering your husband but it's crazy for me to even think about not putting my kids at the top of my priority list. Me serving my purpose is looking after my family. How am I supposed to raise a son in this man hating world?
In my opinion we parents must 1) actively inoculate our sons and daughters with the truth so that they can recognize these falsehoods when they encounter them and 2) locate other like-minded families to find community with
Have them read women’s history books so they learn about female oppression. They won’t learn women’s history in a standard curriculum. Have them read and then they’ll have a greater understanding of women’s experiences, degradation, oppression. Then your sons might have more empathy for women and not think of how women’s progress somehow is holding THEM back….maybe when they hit puberty and all their friends are developing porn addictions your sons will be put off by it because they respect women as humans
By teaching wisdom, it'll make em bitter but we appreciate it by 21-25
Teach rationality
Stop birthing sons.
Man hating world? Lmfao 😂
More powerful? What does that even mean? Physically powerful? Intellectually powerful? Financially powerful? Can he perform an Avada Kedavra? Please define power.
Very fascinating.
Love you guys for an awesome job on ever topic you talk about, all these girls talking down about guys not being good enough for them probably have daddy issues 😂. My mom took care of my dad while he was working and took care of 5 kids plus house chores. And she was brought up from a poor Mexican family that the girls helped one another around the house and the boys did hard labor with the men. My mom always told us girls to find a man that will help us grow not bring us down. So far we did the opposite of what she told us but at the end my husband has improved a lot and we both are growing together to better one another 😊🥰❤️
So how did your mother "grow" being the resident caretaker of everyone and living a life centered around a man? Where is she today that she was not yesterday?
@@r.walker7986you sound so angry, imagine thinking that raising a family and taking care of children doesn't teach you anything and has no value to the growth of a person. Go outside bro jfc
@@frankcaggiano8282 I asked what the growth was and got no answer...
@@r.walker7986there are hundreds of ways to grow outside the official prescriptions of feminism. You make too many assumptions based on nothing.
@@frankcaggiano8282 Yeah, she is a "stong independend woman" who hates everybody who has a happy relationship.
Because she is totally bitter and depressed by her own life, seeing anybody content will sent her into a screaming rage.
I had so much hope in the beginning that this would be balanced commentary, but then she reduced it down to "hating men", which is not at all what decentering men is about.
I know. Disappointing. But I’m not even surprised anymore. 😅
Same! Then I was like whoops. I guess expecting nuance is too much
Sometimes I think people get the gist of it but just want turn it into something more sensational for Content. Sigh.
Ur very fair. Well done
I've been married since I was 20 and hubby was 23. We've grown and changed and been through SO much. And I have no regrets! :)
I liked the extended seasons of arrested Development they made for Netflix. Not sure if that counts as a reboot but it was really funny
@SharkSSO - That was one of the first reboots. I wish I liked it. Killed the series for me, but I'll forever love Lucille Bluth 😉
5 months of a strike? 😂 I didn’t even notice
~36 minute mark, the part about the romance novels, music, etc. is right (those are nice to watch if you like them but do not place that barrier on the person you want to be with (male or female)).
No Amala, GET THE MF BAG FIRST, SCREW A RELATIONSHIP, THE BAG IS THE OBJECTIVE. Health, diet, gym, whatever, working through trauma and all that comes with it, but the bag is the objective. Dont be telling people to prioritize finding love and all this bs, if you yourself said you know 2 women had significant others walk out on them, and then they were forced to hustle. You're just proving that girls point. GET THE MONEY FIRST THEN WORRY ABOUT FAIRY TALE LOVE STORIES. Bc if a mf walks out on you or kicks you out of his crib, you're fucked. Worry about supporting yourself first. Get the bag, and self improvement
Exactly. I knew this video would be bs
Agreed. Center men at your own risk.
The problem is, women see money and want it. His money is their money, her money is her money. These days, the only bag a woman deserves should be the one resting on their chin because that's about all they bring to a relationship!
Haven't watched this video yet, but I have seen videos on "decentering men" and I have done exactly that over the years without having a term for it. Relationships with men used to be at the forefront of my mind and was all I seemed to be talking about and thinking about but I stopped doing that and stopped giving them so much of my mental and emotional energy. I can't be around women who only want to talk about their relationships bc I don't want to hear it. It's extremely vapid and I just don't care. That being said, it's not a daily practice for me bc I don't really think about it anymore. In the beginning, I did bc I had to have an awareness of what I had a tendency to do. In my experience, men are liars, cheaters, manipulators and abusers. They don't deserve my energy.
Almost 100% of male atrention I get is unwanted. It makes me uncomfortable. I don't dress to attract a man. I don't want to draw attention to myself in that way. Attracting a man is not my priority.
I have zero desire to date anyone right now because after giving it a try again one guy attacked me, the guy after that slapped me and I found evidence he was cheating. Before that a guy "stealthed" me by taking the condom off without my consent. I think men are trash and they don't deserve to be the focus of my life.
I really relate to this comment. I haven't watched the video yet either (I will on the commute to school) but the videos i've seen on this topic are very reasonable. I'm so sorry for the experiences you had with those people. That is not ok and I hope you are in a better place now. I have never been in a relationship but I definitely used to focus on getting men to like me. Now I am focusing God, on me, and dating myself for now. Men should not be the focus of our lives.
@@TheNinjapancake14that is true I don’t believe anyone should be the main priority in your life since it is your life first and foremost when you do good for yourself you can do good for others 🌸
The problem is that decent guys stay away from woman alltogether.
Why should a decent guy even talk to a woman? It's a huge risk for a man and to be frank, you are not worth the risk. Because the personality of a modern woman is extremly offputting (not to say disgusting) and they act like they are all 304s.
So decent man stay away. Huge risk and the "price" isn't worth much (if anything).
What remains are the man who are not interested in the character and only want sex.
They consider woman to be trash and treat them like this. (And the biggest irony: This way they get more casual sex than as if they would be nice.)
And this way, even if there is a decent woman out there, she will with a high chance make only bad experiences. Because only the "I just want sex from you bitch" men are left to play the game. The others (I want to get to know a lovable woman and get a relationship) don't play the game any longer.
And obviously she will tell her bad experiences to other good woman. Making the pool of woman who are interested in men even worse than it already is.
A vicious circle and it will end with everybody being alone.
Men will stay bachelor (and are by nature very well equipped to handle that) or go overseas and find love their.
Women will stay alone. And according to how they talk they will be happy too.
Both sexes will be totally separated, like in deeply muslimic countries.
Win-Win.
A voice of reason in these comments. Men cannot be trusted. Focus on yourself angel 🩶
My ex tried to get me pregnant and it didn't work. This is a big reason women seek abortions. Men won't wear condoms or remove them.
“I’ve never met a man more powerful than me.” I interpret that to mean that no one is more powerful than me in my life. No one has more power to influence me. No one has more power to affirm me. No one has more power to show me love and compassion when I need it. No one has the power to create my reality for me the way that I do. That’s how I interpret that statement. It’s a statement about the importance of self love, which includes self awareness, self respect and so much more. The truth is that no one has the knowledge, ability, responsibility or even incentive to understand who and what you are, to accommodate your wants and needs and help you live your dreams!
He or she may exist, but the point is to get busy doing these things for yourself instead of focusing on and relying on a partner (male/female) to do this for you. The person who can and will relate to us and do all of these things for us, would indeed be quite powerful. But what’s more powerful is to do it for yourself. It makes you a better mate, when and if you do find that one. In the meantime, you get to become the best version of yourself. That’s POWERFUL.
This was said in the context of decentering men, because the women are heterosexual. However, this could be said for those of us who center our love life, in general. Why? Because it’s a form of validation. It makes us feel wanted, needed, and loved, giving us a sense of belonging. In some cases, it adds to our self esteem and contributes to our “social value.” So the point is to find value in yourself.
Part of this sentiment includes addressing internalized misogyny, which prompts us to see ourselves through the “male gaze.” I totally get the sentiment. I think it’s a good and useful one. It’s women consciously taking responsibility for defining themselves and their respective destinies, on their freedom journey. I’m here for it, because without noticing, I saw myself through the male gaze, and was angry that I was objectified and fetishized by men, which meant they didn’t really appreciate my humanity. Now, I see myself through my own gaze. If I see something I don’t like, I can change it. I can develop my gifts, and pursue my dreams. So much more to do than live to have a mate. #ijs
Love your content.❤
My man Taylor is SPITTIN!!! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 love this dialogue guys
I love how the women who are obsessed with the "male gaze" have probably never been looked at twice by a man!
Yeah bc they don’t fit the male gaze! Because the male gaze is imposed on all women! Do you hear yourself lol
That's not even remotely true lmao
Okay, I am 59 years old and you said some things in this show that I do not understand. What is "cis het"? I know what cis means but not het. What does "304" mean? What does "yeet" mean?
Thank you to anyone who can answer these questions.
Cis het, I surmise is cis heterosexual. 304 is a slang term meaning promiscuous female. Yeet is another slang term for “good throw”, used to show excitement maybe or approval.
17:47 so I feel like when we put people in the center we are going to be disappointed. I try to put Christ in the center because He is the only one that will always be there for me and not steer me wrong.
Yay taylor!
Hey Amala and Taylor, I am being bands worth of fescious. Lol.
Doctor Who was a good reboot!!
I'd agree until chibnall took over as producer :( even Capaldi's seasons had me disappointed
I definitely wasn’t looking for a man more “powerful” than me. But I did look for a partner that was complimentary. And as traditional as I am, I agree with that lady in terms of I’ve never met a man more “powerful” than me. But I’m smart enough to know how to behave and not emasculate them. The word powerful is what’s really wrong with her bit. I’ve met men more emotionally grounded, more driven, more of a lot of things, but not more powerful.
If she means physically powerful, I bet I could take her. 💪😂
@@FallenRobot 😂 I bet you could!
When I met my husband he had no social media. To this day he still has no use for it.. can confirm, huge green flag!
Tyler, it's like your Mic is not plugged in. And the audio we're getting is from the camera or computer that you're using to video.
Not only is it human nature for young women to want to primp and fashion themselves so as to attract a high quality male, but it's also female nature to simply primp and fashion oneself for beauty period! I can remember doing that as a young teen years before I had any interest in actually attracting a male. It was about expressing the beauty possible within myself, wanting to see if I could look like the beautiful women I saw in magazines or on TV. I was nowhere near ready for an actual boyfriend and didn't even date until I was 18. But even at 13 I wanted to be cute, pretty even. I didn't need to be socialized to be that way. If anything I was constantly being told to suppress my sexuality and focus on my education. But my nature was my nature.
Decentering men is not about not wanting to look your best or have a boyfriend. there are women out her who allow getting or not getting attention from a man or men control their happiness and self esteem and it often leads to destructive behaviors and abusive situations becasue women who need that much validation are prime targets for abusers.
@@r.walker7986 yes. Wanting to look good doesn't mean you're centering men. And even wanting to be attractive to men doesn't mean you're centering men. If what you want most in life has nothing to do with a relationship with a man, cool. You can still look your best each day just for you, even though others may think it means you're centering the male gaze. That said, if a woman really wants to marry and have kids, then it makes sense to center doing that until she gets it done, just like any other important goal.
@@consciouscrypto3090 its super easy to get married and have kids for women, it does not take focus, a lot of men want to be the center of someones focus but its not going to happen, its not enough there to satisfy a person. Also a lot of people have no idea what it feels like to be the "focus" of someones life, its pretty awful and too big of a responsibility for another person to depend on you that much and have nothing else going on...
@@r.walker7986 what a ridiculous comment. How old are you? There are plenty of women who wish to get married who never find anyone to marry. Also something like 80% of the women who never have children had wanted to but just ran out of time before they managed to find a partner and get pregnant. This is what studies and surveys are showing, and matches what I've seen in the lives of people I've known. Women can easily get hookups, but don't want that past a certain age. Men have a harder time getting hookups, but if they make themselves a good prospect for a father for someone's children have their pick of women to marry. Unattractive women or men have a harder time than attractive ones no matter what though.
I'm 18 and no it's not. Why are you speaking for us.
Well, am glad to say that I haven't been on Facebook for a VERY long time now (it was my ex wife who opened a "profile" for me, I really wouldn't have been on it ever at ALL if it wasnt for her. I enjoyed it for a little bit, finding old friends, but it just doesn't interest me anymore), I'm not on TikTok (I hate it),and I don't want to be on Instagram. I like watching UA-cam but even that is taking up too much of my time now ! Like you said, Amala, sometimes you just need to "log off"!☺️ Good advice 👍😉
I'm just happy that there ARE still people like you two around, out there, somewhere!
We are all born loving ourselves. Life is all about learning how to love others as much as you love yourself
A lot of people are finding ways to create cliques of like-minded people based on rubbishing men and heterosexuals these days. It'd be easier on all of us if they just learned how to make friends, but that typically requires a personality I guess. That DOES seem to be the issue tho, we're more connected than ever yet we're looking for somewhere to belong more than ever too. It's a shame it has to be at everyone else's expense because I and all my guy friends are nice guys who respect women , except the ones featured in this video obviously, cos they despise us for not finding them attractive. Seek better help 😢
As a woman, I'm naturally competitive against other women and can be pretty judgemental and vindictive against other women. I think I dress more to please their gaze than men's and I don't think that's talked about enough.
Um you're not a woman 💀. No woman would say that. You're trying to enforce the mean girl movie sterotypes as if women talking like that.
@@letgo4331I'm entitled to my own insecurities you know. And I don't go around being a jerk to everyone, but it's the truth. We don't worry about the so-called 'male gaze' unless we're straight and on the prowl.
@@rosiecatbandit you're not a woman. You're a man acting like one on yt
21:45 this is so true, I met my current boyfriend of 5 years when I was 17, and I can only imagine how different of a person I would be had I been so extremely career-oriented and actively rejected men from my life. Of course, not all of my growth could be attributed to my relationship, but having a partner has contributed so much to my maturity because it's put me through many unique situations that call for communication and compromise. You can't easily learn those things without a partner to navigate hardships with.
I watched 2000s movies with my girlfriend this weekend. They were SOOOOO GOOOOD. Characters had such engaging story archs where you could sense the character development. They used to JUST TELL STORIES back then. I havent genuinely enjoyed a movie in so long. I haven't been so engaged that I have no desire to pick up my phone during the entire film in the longest time.
A Journal for Jordan; Erin Brockovich; 28 Days. Such good movies this weekend. If movies dont change up and start telling stories again, I'll just have to go back to reading fiction novels to get my story fix...
A woman oraman should go into any relationship with the idea of you partner sharing as much of your life as you can stand. My father worked as hard as he had to so that my mother didn't have to work. That is what he promised when they got married. Remember that when you need to make a decision that is going to effect both of you, you should both make that decision. If only one of you takes control and makes an important decision the other will resent that decision. Marriage is a partnership not a dictatorship, to make it work it has to be give and take.
Its a wise decision becasue centering men and male validation only goes so far... There are women whose entire day is made of lost over getting or not getting attention from some guy who does not even know they exist. Spending all your time trying to appeal to, or be what another person wants you to be wastes the time you should be developing yourself, and your skills and skill sets so you can take care of yourself and or contribute something to a relationship. A lot of people say, the moment they stop looking so hard for love, they find it. There is a lot of truth to that.
I think power in this sense was more of a "power to affect your life" type of power.
My brother is nearly twenty-one, and he’s been with his girlfriend since they were both sixteen. They both have their own unique personalities, but they want to be together, and that’s what matters. A partner should be someone you love, not someone you only tolerate because it fits into your political agenda!
I feel some"pick me" energy in this girl, but good talk in general :)
@travazulo haha anime pfp: what are you like 22 MAX? 🤣🤣
Heavy pickme energy
A human body can run longer than any land animal on Earth(99%), we catch them tired and dinner is served 😉
I did not focus on dating in high school. I met my husband and started dating him at the end of my senior year. We got married a year later and have been married for over 25 years. We grew up together and are more in love today than we were in the beginning. Everything we have we built together.
Besides maybe my son, the women who i have had relationships with showed me most of who I am.
I want to be in a long-term relationship/Marriage with a Man More Powerful, Stronger, Disciplined, Wiser etc. Than Me!!!!!! In Jesus name! Amen!!!!! 🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿
Are you looking for a partner or a father?
@@adrianl7147As an observer of the cat ladies in my wife's choir, I say both. 26 years of close observation and listening
@@adrianl7147 I’m guessing she’s looking for a partner AND a father (for her future children). It’s okay to want a strong man to lead your family smh
@@ChronicallyofflineRavenclawwell, I mean you should be smart yourself….Ion know I’m like a centrist, I somewhat agree with both the left and right…
@@ChronicallyofflineRavenclaw I don't do any guessing in youtube comments. And you should take comments 'prima facie'---not adding words to them when you don't know if that was the intention. For what its worth---I meant: are you looking for a partner or a daddy figure (for yourself). Glad we cleared that up.
Hm, its weird. I never thought all men are bad but I am not longing for a relationship. I cannot think of anything worse for example than living with someone else and having to share my space with someone else when being in such a committed relationship. Never liked it, never enjoyed it. I sometimes think about what a bummer it is that I hate relationships or the thought of sharing my life, bathroom, bed with someone and no idea how others do it buuuut thats just me lol I have never heard anyone else put it like this. Its just either "men bad" or "relationships are everything" or "self love".
It’s because women give themselves to men too easily , it’s always been a male idea to live with someone without a commitment then they can walk away, stop selling yourselves short , just say NO
Smh
And here I thought it was just me.
I'm not a professional but I think it just comes down to "change is hard" I think sharing your space is difficult for many in the beginning but after enough time you will eventually get used to sharing your space and if the relationship is healthy it eventually becomes second nature, to the point where you end up having difficulties sleeping if your not in the same bed as some one. Could be wrong as were all different, but I hope this helps in some way?
@@bowen3716well so far in the past relationship i actually left the bed and slept on the couch because i hated it, couldnt sleep and felt uncomfortable lol i would never want to force myself through something i genuinley feel uncomfortable with though. i get that you sometimes need to get used to it but forcing comfort...meeeh...
Before I knew my own power my father was more powerful than me and encouraged me to be as powerful as I am today.
I hate that term "getting your bag"! I also hate how everyone hears something and they all say it, nobody can just think for themselves!
this is why i like women less and less...
Listen up girls 😢 this is what we are doing. We need to change and be the caring people we were made to be.
@rachelleadams1007 and when we let our guard down, you use our weaknesses against us. Yeah, I'm not falling for that one
@@YiminyCricket my ❤️ feels for you. I'm sorry you have been hurt by one or more women who have not been taught how to uplift and encourage our men in how to be loving in their strengths. Bad Men are just as Bad as Bad women. It's not a man vrs. women thing. It's evil being evil towards each other because we don't know better, until we do learn different. I pray you meet someone who can break through and show you real true love of what you are deserving of. 🙏
modern women are viewing men as competition and not potential life partners. sad
It's kind of crazy to me that this girl is talking about this "daily practice" that feels like swimming upstream of "decentering men," meanwhile I got married at 20 and I can pretty much assure this woman that I think far less about men than she does... she sounds like she's obsessed. How on earth is this constant, daily battle that is all about men some kind of feminist ideal? It kind of just seems like men and the patriarchy is all they think abiut and is ruling their entire lives...
i ❤ you Amala. a good reboot which comes to mind is precisely The Office - U.S. version ;)
Even though it wasn’t as great as the original I actually enjoyed the RoboCop remake
The scene where they show he's just a head, lungs, and a single hand was fucked!