This is not all about ISLAM. I have been abused by a christian man who claimed himself as a good christian. No matter what religion it is. Bad guy stays bad, not religions/beliefs to blame.
Well devil is good deceiver. Narcissist is never good who follow some religion just for himself, First he need to really want to change and serve others too and share with others not just take. And do not use religion just when it is good for Him, maybe he tried but because he was broken it takes time, lot came from injuries of heart, mentality, Family, how they raised him. People never can fulfill their heart with controling someone and parasitize on someone that not love and if they Did not experienced love they have false image. Try to forgive, because he deserve pity if he was Like that, pray and take time Sister. God can clean and heal and again fulfill your heart 😪🙏🌼😊💓 Bless you.
@@lubel9750 thank you. I have forgave him. And im still in healing process. We aware why they are abusers coz of, mentality, family, etc.. My reply has nothing to do with that. I stand for Islam which gets the blame over abusing women...Abusing woman is not based on religion. It based on the man. On my side and those who got abused, its not easy as A.B.C to forget and heal that fast. No no. Its mentally and physically. It takes long.. Well thanks tho...
@@anische3475 yeah im Christian but i agree with you. Im glad for your comment because sometime person is finding anything to blame it even religion but its not always Like that. . And it have to be healed not just ignored or covered, person need to accept it, cry, admit it and invite God into it (sometime its good to confront guy with it if he dont run away, and say whats on your heart because you need to talk about it) , God He can clear that, heal and fulfill the heart, he know how to turn bad into something good, so dont worry. 🙂🌼i Will pray for you and for others because its not easy, but we are not alone in it dont have to handle by ourselfs, please pray for me too 🙏
@@lubel9750 I have tried to confront and settle things. The best ways that i could. Until at one stage where I refuse to be stress on things I cannot change and control. I prefer postive vibes. I love him very much I invest many for him. Yet I am still useless and nothing. it was heartbreaking. Again i would say this has nothing to do with religion. No religion/belief teach us to be bad to each other. Its not a problem if Christian has common with Islam. We are living in a free world. But thinking bad and doing bad to other religion is bad. Thank you very much. Much love and peace from Malaysia 😘
@@liveinviewoftheendlive9075 Errr ! What happened to, "Wife, I need to talk to you because I'm starting to feel insecure." I think that might have done the trick 🤔...less painful for the wife too!
@@rachelle4853 well your wrong. That kind of abuse only happens more frequently because they misuse certain rules there to control women which makes abuse against them more frequent. You can easily see atheist men be abusive and cruel to their wives. Neck beards are known to insult theists especially Christianity and Islam but still behave toxically to women who aren't really submissive in work and in bed. You can even see them insulting western women and wanting foreign (mostly Japanese) women who seem more 'submissive' and 'kind' to their partners. TLDR- atheist partners can still be toxic how someone is raised counts. Religion is mostly irrelevant.
@@rachelle4853 if you think america doesn't have the same issues, you should really look into mormons, christian fundamentalists, baptists and catholics. you'll find plenty of crazy people who belief very sexist and backward things too
She’s basically repeating my story. Except I ran away from home to marry a man I had never met or seen to avoid being forced into marriage by my parents to someone I didn’t like-at 19. Was Married for 12 years and after 2 children, made the decision to leave for the SAME EXACT REASONS. The lack of affection, intimacy and then the years of infidelity and an addiction to pornography which no one seemed to care about. I just couldn’t do it anymore. Walked out with my kids 12 years later, officially divorced and single.. my family disowned me. so here I am, a grown, 35 year old, highly educated and independent woman with two kids, 12 and 7, doing what I do best-Single mom, Nurse with a doctorate in nursing, raising two beautiful children.
"It wasn't forced...it was just me doing it to get everyone to be quiet and leave me alone." Sounds like you weren't forced but you were certainly pressured. That is not OK.
In my language, we sometimes say “by free and spontaneous will “ when we refer to doing something because we want to. We jokingly change that to “by free and spontaneous pressure” when we make the decision by ourselves, but because others are forcing us to. Anyway, I find it interesting because in some way, that saying identifies the very important fact that being pressured into something is not consent
@@parideilgozzo3754 You are Right but the CIRCUMSTANCES with women all over the world are AGAINST THEM...IN MUSLIM AND NON MUSLIM SOCIETIES AND COMMUNITIES ....FROM EAST TO WEST ...FROM INDIA TO AMERICA. . ..THE PREJUDICES, CHAUVINISMS, MISOGYNISM, SEXISM ETC.AGAINST WOMEN.. ...IN THE NAME OF CULTURE AND RELIGION,ITS EVERYWHERE AND MORE SUFFERINGS, HUMILIATION ,PAIN DISCRIMINATION AGAINST THEM!!
Her mother was in the wrong. So what she spoke about getting married. She was 13 years old. Got her engaged at 15 when she was still a child. No good parent will do that.
I think it’s a bit harsh to judge her mum... I’m sure a lot of parents went down this line and didn’t realise the damage... not all parents are in tune with their kids or society ... doesn’t make her a bad parent...
Fatima Begum I understand what you mean sister but like I said I wasn’t forced into this situation I only did it because I thought it might work out and make my parents happy. Now being a parent myself I understand why my mum who had been bought up back home in a strict family would do something like this. She is an amazing parent and till this day I have not been able to repay her for everything she has done for me. May Allah grant her the highest rank in Jannah. Much love to you
@@ashandpai Ameen ❤❤ I mean i can't give negative labels to other mothers when they might be raised differently. I am sure your mother is still great. Don't mind the comments.
Fatima Begum Sorry sister, but we are in no place to call out people. You also have to put yourself in her mother’s shoes, she obviously tried to do her best. What’s right to you may seem wrong to me or the other way around. This has also to do with cultural upbringing. Parents are as much humane as us. No matter the age, we, humans have lots to learn from our mistakes. We also don’t know how the mother suffered through everything her OWN daughter went through. Who knows, the mother maybe till this day beats herself up? Or she doesn’t know everything that’s happened.
I was in my early 30’s when I got married. I was never in a relationship with a man before. But I was getting older and want to start having kids. I met a Muslim man online and ended up marrying him. I reverted to islam after marriage...by my choice, then had a coupled kids. Within the 14 years of marriage to this man...I never understood his behaviour and his temper. Only until recently Ive heard of the word narcissist. After looking into this mental illness that I just recently discovered. He has the qualities of a person who is a narcissistic. Although he was never diagnosed as being one...I believe he is. I’m in a situation where I’m now in my 40’s and want to leave, but I cannot because I spent most of my 14 year out of work raising my kids. I bought a house before I married him...I’m now in a situation where i need to find a job and leave my house. In all honesty, I’m happy to leave this all behind just to get out of here and move on. I have no friends and no family support. Please keep me in your prayer
Hi Monique 0x0 Why leave your house?? PLEASE never, ever do that. It is your house. Call the police and get him to leave. I had to do that! I was going through terrible mental abuse and now what I consider to be sexual abuse as he was having sexual relations with prostitutes and was constantly wanting sex with me while he was drunk and smelled disgusting and couldn't perform properly!! It was disgusting! He taught my sons to disrespect me. In the end I told him to leave and take my 18 year old son with him. Do not give up your house, as I feel that you will regret it. Get support, get a lawyer (if you can) and ask him to leave. It is YOUR HOUSE!! Good luck.
You must be strong in one important thing if u leave him u must never come back because it's one of the most spreading mistakes a girl can make! it's best for you if you stay in your apartment!! And what country do you live in if it's okay to ask!
I love the part when she said everyone was against her second marriage, which turn out to be the greatest choice she has made in her life. Mental abuse can destroy anyone, no joke, and I'm really glad she got out of it
The same situation here I escaped with a 7month old baby when he start hitting calling names and choking my neck when I’m breast feeding my son I left him with out saying a word and living in peace with my baby boy
Its obvious they were against it because it was immoral. The woman was seeing another man while married to her husband. Even an adulterer can say their second marriage was the "best decision of their life", doesn't mean people should be ok with it.
Ask yourself Women demands so much Which is very hard for a man to provide Well they always say they left their mom and dad for you Ask yourself why did you leave your parents Their is a reason first one future security, women's need a man Also you guys always check out a man before you get married Is he can provide everything for you Is he good man Then why do you complain so much You women's are complainer Majority women's are in European countries you guys can work because here is opportunities that you are able to work That's why you guys talk big I respect women's has right but you take everything for granted Think about those women around the world they can't do the way you treat a man That's why there is less divorce than European countries
@j n Don't call a woman you dont know well 'honey'. It is inappropriate. And stop replying to every comment with negativity. Did your parents not teach you any manners?
Ur mother doesn't want you to go through the same situation she went through but she marries you at 16. Extremely illogical !!! Sometimes mothers have the best intentions but they end up doing the worst of damage
My cousin married a woman who was not Muslim at first but later she became Muslim, so we were having a family gathering celebrating my uncle's wedding when they called for sallah she was the first person to stand and perform ablution while everyone was chatting away, she really taught us a lesson sometimes these reverts appreciate Islam more than those who are born into it
That is so true. Most of the time reverts are far better muslim than us born muslims. Barakallahu feekum. A question, did she become muslim before the marriage?
Bint Khidam said “My father married me to his nephew, and I did not like this match, so I complained to the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ). He said to me “accept what your father has arranged.” I said “I do not wish to accept what my father has arranged.” He said “then this marriage is invalid, go and marry whomever you wish.” I said “I have accepted what my father has arranged, but I wanted women to know that fathers have no right in their daughter’s matters (i.e. they have no right to force a marriage on them). (ibn majah)
Sunan Abi Dawud 2096 Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: A virgin came to the Prophet (ﷺ) and mentioned that her father had married her against her will, so the Prophet (ﷺ) allowed her to exercise her choice.
Great job, and a stronger authority is the Qur'an, and the Qur'an makes it clear (but no one reads it it seems) that the female has the final say on who she marries or accepts for marriage always and if she says no to something regarding her marriage, it means no, and no one can force her or pressure her into anything, particularly regarding the matter of marriage (but also regarding religion, since compulsion is strongly spoken against in the Qur'an, as well as oppression). At the end of the day though, most people don't seem to care at all or know this, and the Qur'an just sits on a shelf somewhere being ignored by most everyone.
Physical abuse scars can heal, but emotional/mental abuse can linger for a while. I speak from experience, my dear. *BIG HUGS* from a non Muslim woman in Canada.
Muslims will never accept that parents can also be wrong. Just because a mother has paradise beneath her feet doesn't mean she can't enter hell. Just because a father is a door to paradise doesn't mean he can't enter hell. Allah has more rights over us than our parents. Allah will question our parents regarding our treatment because children are a test. A daughter is Allah's mercy. Parents can also enter hell for mistreating their children, for snatching their rights or for failing to protect them. Some parents only know one ayat in the Quran which is about parents. The problem is that Muslims only mention verses that are in their favour. So, parents will only mention verses that are in their favour but they will never mention verses that in children's favour. If parents have been given a high status, then that is a blessing and every blessing is a test. Parents have no right to misuse the honour and status Allah gave them. The way you treat someone weaker than you shows character.
I totally agree. I always tell my not-yet Muslim friends to study Islam, and not man. Understand the teachings of Islam and the Sunnah not traditional rites and beliefs of Muslims as a race. Alhamdulillah for good parents, and May Allah grant us the ability to be a means of ease towards others. Ameen..
The moral of the story is mothers and fathers build your daughters up. Look after their physical and emotional needs. Make sure the household is of great example. Build solid communication with your children. Raise your boys to be respectful of girls and make sure your boys are self sufficient and know their way around the house. Don’t train your girls to be maid and your boys to be kings. Some cultures need to be destroyed
AS SOON AS MY FIANCE STARTED SAYING WE ARE NOT GOING TO EAT THIS OR THAT, , I SAID THERE 'S THE DOOR!!!!!!!! NO ONE TELLS ME WHAT I WILL EAT DRINK WHEN I WILL WAKE UP. GOD DIDN'T GIVE YOU THAT KIND OF PERMISSION, ITS MY HOUSE MY DAD GAVE IT TO ME, SO GET OUT OF MY LIFE!!!!!!! MY COUSIN TOLD ME BEFORE YOU GET MARRIED, PRAY TO GOD THAT HE SHOWS YOU SIGNS. MAY ALL THE SKELETONS COME OUT OF THE CLOSET BEFORE YOU MARRY HIM WHY GO THROUGH THAT. SO GLAD ITS OVER!!!!!!!!!
@Jay Bee not at all I left when my son was 19 days old I couldn't take it... he use to abuse me mentally I was not allowed to look out the window I would get accused with the damn neighbors when he came to visit my son when my son was around 1 month or so he actually said he does not think it's his child lol n mind u I was at home 24/7 n that's when I stopped him from coming to visit his child
@@raeesanawaz4634 My ex was like that too and I felt so uncomfortable. It made me feel that everytime I tell him where I went in his mind he already calculated the time for him to do some sneaky shit and I knew that so one day I told him fuck him and I ain't telling you shit. I told him you're not my father so good bye!
KiNami......God Bless You and Keep You And Let His Holy LIght Shine Upon You And Give You Peace. I am so impressed. I pray you have a support group ....you have all my prayer group's prayers.
A marriage with a narcissist is so difficult. Talking to a narcissist is like arguing against a wall. They are not capable of taking responsibility for there mistakes or any bad situation. And we all know marriage is not all roses and fortune.
being with a narc period is difficult i had one for a stepmom and sadly my oldest daughter picked up this horrible trait too sadly it is a learned behavior
Ugh my pet peeve: men or women who use Islam to manipulate people to do what they want ugh. So sorry about what you went thru, I'm glad you're in a much better place
@Tiredofdumbfuks It wasn't manipulation, may I remind you that they chose to follow Islam on their own in the prophet's time, the prophet didn't force anyone to do anything, he just spread Islam and tried to get as much believers as he could. Talk about getting your pretty head out of your ass.
@Tiredofdumbfuks No, manipulation meaning having control on someone. He didn't have control on anyone, it was all their decision, they just listened and followed.
@Tiredofdumbfuks I'm sorry I'm trying to make sense of your point you're attempting to make. No, he had no control over them. Back then, they were human just as us and I'm sure we're all capable of making our own decisions. If he had a certain control over everyone, don't you think everyone would be Muslim because of that control? Look where we are now, everyone has their different religions because he did not control anyone at all, everyone made their own decisions on which path to follow and our family back then CHOSE Islam, they were not forced into it by any manipulation.
a narcissist will NEVER change. they will just make you feel more and more inadequate about yourself for never being able to fully please their wild demands.
Yes, thats me and my husband says what you just said about me. Its not easy for me....having been unloved and uncared ...ive been made this way. Its not a choice i have. I do want to change but its impossible.
@@pinkbubbles1173 Well. it is possible. The problem is, they will not agree to therapy. And if they do. it takes very intensive and long time therap[y. Evenb then it is difficult for Narciassists to change.
I'm sorry that the adults in your life didn't try harder to protect you when you were just a teenager. You are an incredibly good-hearted person for continuing to speak nicely about everyone despite all the struggles that you have been through. I'm so proud of you for recognizing your worth and choosing happiness. And girl you are so gorgeous Masha'Allah! 💕
Did anyone even watch the whole video? Everyone's comments are as if they didn't understand what she was saying. Her family was opposed to these things, they didn't push her into anything, she was the one making bad decisions and forcing people to follow after her bad decisions. 1. She said because her mother got divorced from her father and her father left them, she imagined in her delusions that he was probably a great person and she wanted a daddy to treat her like a princess because she was so foolish as to believe absolute lies on the internet and coming from people who were making up fantasies about their father's and if she had known her father in reality she would likely have hated him like most normal people tend to do because they are annoying altogether and familiarity breeds contempt as it is said, plus he left and was never around, so duh, he was not going to be a great person. 2. Next, she started to pursue serious relationships at the age of 13 and possibly earlier, and her Mother and Step Father moved away to Pakistan with her, where she again pushed to get married as radically early as possible, at the age of 15 she was engaged and 16 she was married, something that is pretty insane already, and it was her doing it all and pushing it, and her family didn't want her to start having sex outside of marriage and she seemed out of control basically and so insistent on this idea. 3. She would sit around having expectations of a dream marriage or dream person (was this person much older or just a 16 year old child themselves?) and would not explain too much, would dramatically do things like drag the man's hand on their face and cry at their feet like a lunatic, and was basically an extremely immature and underdeveloped person (which is why people should probably not think they are capable of mature relationships at such young ages, but her family was just letting her make all kinds of decisions when her brain isn't even developed). 4. She then pushed her way into having a child, making matters even worse and more complicated, and then started hearing from others that she should divorce and separate, and her family didn't like the idea that she was following in the tragic tale of her own mother, and would be a divorced single mother where it would be hard for her to marry again, but little did they know she had also started to have an affair online with a person interested in Islam (and her beauty and body no doubt). 5. Even though she apparently had nothing, she was somehow able to escape and pay for an apartment of her own? The story seemed like it was missing some crucial details in order to be as dramatic as possible, including the "rain and thunder" part, which shows her tendency towards melodrama and that she likely has "Borderline Personality Disorder" since she shows traits for having that in several ways, and the people with "Borderline Personality Disorder", as normal as they may appear at first, tend to create increasingly tense scenarios where they re-live their trauma and fears of abandonment endlessly. 6. She, instead of following the procedures in the Qur'an carefully, instantly jumped into a new marriage full force, and we all wish her the best. Now in the comments people are leaving comments that seem to indicate they are only guessing what was said and shown in the video, or are entirely absorbed in their own life story and not listening to what she said. She said the decisions were her own and were bad decisions that she regrets, that she was pushing for all of it and wanting each of the steps and making them happen, it was not other people, people were resistant to her idiotic desires repeatedly, and she basically forced her way into a marriage with some weirdo she scarcely knew at all, whose personality showed through (in a rather normal fashion seemingly) after a while, and he was basically dull, boring, and un-romantic (like most people who have no idea what the heck they are doing in life), and he even said he might be mentally retarded, which she just wouldn't accept or believe (he really might be). So, seeing how I'm apparently the only person who actually watched the video among all the commenters, I was sort of incensed and annoyed by all these weird out of the blue assumptions and statements people seem to be making, like if you're going to act sympathetic (not you, I mean these other people), at least watch and try to understand what the video actually said!
@@aFoxyFox. Trust me, I understood exactly what was said lol. She said that she got engaged when she was FIFTEEN years old. Fifteen! That's a child! Are you really going to tell me that as a parent you would give in to any of your child's demands when they are literally a minor? Up until age eighteen, it is surely the parents' responsibility to protect their child, help them make good decisions and guide them. I didn't even want to bring this stuff up cause I wanted to focus on the positive sides to this video, but here we are... As a young teenager, she started thinking about being in relationships as any regular teenager would do. What did her parents do? They were like 'since you want this so much and we don't want you to fall into sin, we're gonna get you married'! Right now, as a kid! I don't know about you but I find this ridiculous. To me, it's failed parenting. You don't just go and get your 16-year-old daughter married because she's getting 'out of control'. That is definitely a recipe for disaster. It truly broke my heart how she kept emphasizing that it was her choice, she wasn't such a good Muslim back then, that she made bad decisions and she didn't want to place blame on anyone else. She said that the marriage wasn't forced but also she agreed to do it so that everyone would leave her alone. Sounds a lot like she was pressured to me. It's the whole reason why her parents took her to Pakistan. She was a teenager for crying out loud. She didn't even know what she wanted from life and you think she was fully aware of what she was getting into? Maybe it's the fact that I have a healthcare background cause to me it's similar to how many abuse victims may feel guilt and blame themselves for the trauma that they went through. I have seen this happen in front of my eyes, so I think I know what I'm talking about. My message to Ayesha: Love, none of it was your fault. You didn't deserve any of the abuse. You didn't bring it upon yourself. When you are literally a child, the responsibility of understanding the consequences of making life-changing decisions does not fall on your shoulders. The adults in your life should have made better decisions. You are a beautiful person inside and out and you deserve so much happiness. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. 💖
@@safinavw I agree with your comments and I am glad you wrote them. I'm not sure her parents moved all the way to Pakistan just for her, maybe they had some other reason for doing so, but I think that she probably wasn't lying about being insistent on this idea of getting in a relationship as soon as they possibly could. I don't think it is right though, not at all, I think letting an idiotic child make decisions of such weight is tremendously stupid, and that her parents are weaklings and fools, but that she was likely to do some terrible things regardless, like for example having sex and getting pregnant outside of marriage in the UK or even in Pakistan due to her being obsessed apparently with these ideas and always pushing her way into getting whatever she wants. Her daughter may even follow in her footsteps, and the same cycle continues yet again, but I wonder what she would do this time or if such was to occur again with a headstrong daughter trying to push her way into relationships and sexual encounters prematurely and at an early age? I do not believe that allowing a marriage of a child like this is a good idea at all, but it is legal to marry at ages even earlier than hers in some parts of the United States (like Hawaii, where her new Husband comes from), and regardless of laws, people in Hawaii (where I lived for many years) were often having sex and children at an extremely young age also, outside of marriages or any sort of rules or monetary support considerations, so there are benefits that she went about doing what she was hell-bent on doing in a more structured format, however hideous and erroneous it all is. She is 25, has two children now (one from one guy, one from the other) and still seems to be headstrong and immature to the extreme, with a guy who is quite young (23 or so). The whole thing is an irritating mess, and I really can't feel pleased or happy about any of it, but here is how I make myself feel better (lol, as if that matters, but it is really all that matters to me or any of us probably that we are focused on how we ourselves feel about things), and that is the idea of two possible stories: One of the stories has this exact same sequence or something similar playing out with "running away from home to have sex and ending up getting pregnant with the man she ran away to in the UK" or "all that happening except within the structure of a marriage, with her family connections still somewhat intact, and with people somewhat being monitored or observed and have people to answer to rather than like the numerous stories I've heard of similar things happening outside of marriages or community structures and things like that". At the end of the day, for a foolish person like her, I think she got the better of the two versions, and it also seems to sound better to people (and future prospects) that she was in a marriage rather than just some kind of random relationship and had a child out of wedlock and all that stuff, overall her story ends up being the better of the two possibilities. Of course, if there was ever the option that she does not do any of this stuff, that would be the best, and her family had every right to restrict her, but she would then probably have complained about how they were locking her up and so abusive and not letting her just go out and have sex at 13 or 14 or 15 and not let her be with the love of her life at 15 and marry him and blah blah blah, so its basically a lose lose situation as far as I could read from her personality traits and story points. I'd really dislike having a child like that, and I'll be avoiding having children probably due to the possibility that some might end up being difficult to get to do the right thing and being the cause of so much stress. If you go to her Q & A video, you get a glimpse into more of her personality, where she talks about how she obsessively would mistrust and ask where a person was or should be reported to every second, and would spy on the computers and internet to see what they were doing due to jealousy and fear of abandonment (because she very likely has some kind of Borderline Personality Disorder though she is unlikely to ever get that dealt with, if it even can be, it is one of the most difficult things to ever deal with because the people who have it just constantly get into fights) which she also mentions how she would fight constantly with her new Husband before they were together or married. I mean it sounds dreadful, and we didn't hear the side of the story from the "retard" that married her in the first place and all the antics she was likely up to, since they usually tell one-sided stories (if you've dealt with enough of these people, who come in all shapes and sizes and sexes, but they all have things in common). She (like so many other BPD types) makes herself appear extremely attractive and a heroic half-victim who is self-deprecating but these can all be manipulations which come naturally to people with this psychological issue (due to the abandonment and other factors, besides genetics, so her backstory of the father not being around fits perfectly into the profile). She was no doubt the "victim" in a sense, because her family did not know what to do or how to handle a person like this (and this will remain most likely an ongoing or re-emerging stress and concern for the family, all they can hope for is that her marriage with this new person lasts, but it hasn't even been very long yet, so who knows). So, I don't doubt that whoever she married was most likely a P.O.S. and a loser (because what kind of a dumbass marries a child anyway?) and that her family are trash as well (maybe her mother was an intolerable type of person also and that is why the original guy left, or maybe the original father was the crazy person who left the genes of craziness in her), but all the decisions were bad, but out of the possibilities, they may not have been entirely as bad as some of the alternatives which people have gone through. Her "Step-Father" probably wanted to get rid of as well, and so marrying her off seemed like a way to get her off on someone else and some other family to deal with. Now she has other siblings even, and none of them were as wild as her apparently or with stories anywhere similar to hers as far as we are aware, which puts the "black sheep of the family" quality basically on her. I don't think you know perhaps how much of a terror it can be to deal with some children who are like this, but I've seen multiple families (not Muslims, but all kinds, this is the first time I'm seeing it with a Muslim family) who behave like this, who are basically bent on doing things, who push their way and manipulate everyone and make a huge fuss, are never happy or satisfied with anything really, always looking out for trouble to bring up or fights to make or complaints, and then switching the narrative and the story and telling it all one way. I have very little sympathy, but that may be just because of dealing with too many people and stories like this to really trust these people without further evidence (also, who am I? nobody, so who cares). Personally, I found both of them to be some of the most simultaneously boring and irritating / annoying people around (which was a weird combination, usually one is one or the other, but I'm basing this on seeing more of their content than just this sob story video ). The truth is, as you said, little stupid children should NEVER get married, should not rush into having sex, should not be having children of their own when they are semi-retarded themselves with underdeveloped brains and intelligence and reasoning faculties, but out of all the scenarios, hers was not the worst possible punishment for a child pursuing sex and marriage with parents who let her have her way.
My mum got married at 14, I am so grateful that she protected me and never even mentioned me getting married. Late twenties now, single and loving life with the support of both my parents! So grateful to them!
Same here I come from an Indian culture also in my 20s, there's no pressure from my parents, the decision is entirely on my when I feel is the right time and they'll be there to support me
@@aishaandathenaFAM if they are they go to jail, the problem is that Muslims view Mohammed as a hero, prophet and someone to follow. Even though he murder people and had children as wives. Says a lot about those following him as well..
They had such a wrong image of Islam, they were so negatively cultural. Religious blackmailing, what your husband did was soo wrong. Glad you're better.
It’s not islam sis! In islam it’s so wrong to mental abuse your wife.It’s our culture and as a girl they don’t value women as much as man. Sis ppl out there went through similar situations like you and I just wanted to tell you that your not alone❤️
Don't forget culture is influenced by religion. The verse where it mentions that you can strike your wife if she's disobedient to you people have open interpretation to that. Even some imams encourage it.
Leya Wonder trust me Islam doesn’t doesn’t do this but wat happens is that culture gets mixed up with it and ppl true to change the laws of Islam to make it seem like it oppressed women wen in fact if you actually read through our holy book you can see that Islam inspires and motivates woman and their rights 💕 Islam does not condone violence or oppression against woman in any way
@Cathy Kandara I'm sorry but this is pure ignorance, I'm not a Muslim, but it's truly disrespectful the way people are mislead using the same tactics over and over again. Mohammed is one of the first feminists to ever exist, the respect that was given to women in his time is superior to what we see in most countries today. Those phrases you're talking about are always put in front of people, and without any bit of researched are taken at face value 1. Quraan is written in Arabic, it's very easy to translate a word into a completely different one while claiming it's the same because the dictionary says so. And especially in arabic where one word usually requires more than one english word to get the translation correct. So, don't take any translation you find. 2. CONTEXT CONTEXT CONTEXT. Quran's number one rule is to never read out of context. This is usually used when presenting how much money should a Male get when their parent is dead, not acknowledging that it's a one case thing (when a male and a female are brother and sister) because the male has to use his money to take care of his sisters, he has no right in that money and can't spend it all on himself, unlike the woman who is not obligated to spend a penny on anyone from her share. And let alone the other cases where the female gets more than the male. Having read the books of Islam, Christianity and Judaism, Islam is truly superior when it comes to women rights and their role in society. At the time of Mohammed women worked side to side with men, and today most countries are contemplating whether they should allow women to have high roles in the country. If you would like me to answer you about any phrase in Quran and why it's there I'm happy to, I spent 2 years studying the book and asking scholars so I'm well versed in the topic
Ok everyone chill. I understand where cathy is coming from because I was just as ignorant in the past, media doesn't give muslims or their religion a break and this bad exposure is all we get presented with. I hope you can do more research from less bias resources. Islam has 1.8 billions believers and they're not all dumb and misogynistic, those people memories the entire Quran and read it on daily basis, they know what's in their book, if such crazy concepts were in their book you wouldn't see all of those people who are 50% female embracing their religion. You wouldn't see the girl in the video embracing her modesty. Culture is very different from religion and all I can say about Islam is that it's truly a religion of peace
I understand fully. People see bruises and they feel sorry for you, and some try to help. Emotional abuse leaves scares that people can't see, so they dont try to help as quick.
SIIIISS I JUST WANNA SAY A MASSIVE THANK YOU FOR POSTING THIS AND FOR MENTIONING AT 23 MINS HOW HARD IT IS FOR US MUSLIM WOMEN WHO HAVE GONE THROUGH A MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE MARRIAGE TO GET A DIVORCE FROM THE ISLAMIC COUNCILS IN THE UK. I am currently going through the divorce process at the moment. It's so lovely to see you happy, may Allah keep you happy Aameen! ❤️
*** HEY EVERYONE DUE TO COPYRIGHT *** We had to cutout the very end of the video by replacing it with another song. Thank you so much for all your love and support❤️
Men can be so mentally and physically abusive and it's never ok, Jesus sets us Free from everything that has hurt us in life. I'm so glad the Lord is healing my wounds.
@Imani RobertsonI know can be extremely hard at times, but please never take that man back. You can not change him,only he can do that himself with God's help. I have been in some very bad relationships. I had to learn their behavior was not my fault nor was I less then. It's a process though I'm still healing from. At some point we must let go and let God for our own sanity. Prayers going out for your healing and preservation.
Imani Robertson I’m in a similiar situation now but not a drug dealer. Now I’m getting ignored on Facebook then blocks me for days and doesn’t answer my calls then nice again for a day then starts blaming me and accusing me and calling me stupid and leaving me confused and asking myself what god I do? I’m on a constant roller coaster
@Imani Robertson His sister's knew his character and tried to protect you. He sounds like a narcissistic sociopath, who plays on your feelings towards him. It's not your fault, He played alot of mind games. Please stay strong and take it as a learning experience. It will take time for your heart to heal. God does have a great man out there for you.
That man (your current husband) was a blessing. If it wasn’t for him, you might never have divorced your ex. I’m so happy that you left him. You deserve to be happy
You are a brave girl to come out in public. I too went through the same as you did. I finally divorced him and met my wonderful husband . In May we will celebrate 44 yrs. of marriage
Your face when talking about your ex husband compared to your now husband just shows how much more happier you are..you are beautiful and you deserved to be loved and no one deserves to be in a marriage feeling like that..It’s SO common in the asian culture for many women to put up with abusive, manipulative and controlling men..and they are told to just shut up and deal with it..I’m so proud of you for taking a stand 👏🏻
Are you serious? إبتسام احمد Loads of Asian girls suffer this ordeal. It’s very common and heartbreaking. I am Pakistani and I experienced a very similar situation. However, I am so blessed because my parents and entire family supported my decision to leave my ex. They all knew his abusive behaviour and fully understood what sort of man he is. And his mother was very manipulative and supported his actions, including his father and sisters. They were all evil and my family members saw this. It was actually quite simple for me in that regard. I didn’t have to explain my decision except to few extended family members, and I told them I was suffering. I’m very lucky Alhamdulillah I know. Thanks to Allah. 🙏🏻 It’s a tragic situation to be in and I also had a son with my ex. Alhamdulillah I just recently divorced so InshaAllah my life will be peaceful from now on. I hope more women and men stand up for themselves, NO ONE deserves this treatment.
You keep saying "mom didn't support my divorce obviously" "I met the guy and told my parents they were angry obviously" The only thing obvious is that your mom didn't care if you were happy or suffering. She went through the same thing, so naturally she would empathize with you but she didn't. I am sorry love but it seems your own mother is also a narcissist and if she actually cared about you, you wouldn't have to suffer through all that. All teenagers are crazy, doesn't mean they get to be wed off to any random guy who hasn't been properly vetted.
@Lashawnda Stephens lol, if you people stop having sex with men I think it will disturb you more than men. Men should respect women whether is your wife or mother. Women also should always respect men. No one deserves to treat like a donkey. I pity men or women who treat their spouse bad. If you don't love someone don't marry them. Some men marry women just for their sexual desires and their is no love.
@Lashawnda Stephens I know women are not born for sex just like men. Men also going along before they start sex. I can abstain from sex for 30 years and it will not be problem to me. I am man who was absent from sex for almost 25 years. I was virgin for almost 25 years old. I had many chance to had sex but I turned it down. Men need women just like women need men. I don't support some men just like some women also. No one deserves to be in terrible marriage. In my country sometimes women will make a men to do physical violence. If you never have problem with your wife and they will said oh his wife control him and he is afraid of her. One of brother wife used to cheat on him when he travel and she think that no one know it but I was taking my time until the day I saw them in my brother's house and that day I had bit them like I never knew them and all of them collapsed and after that my brother divorce her. Arab country are terrible for women.
@Lashawnda Stephens lol, feminists. I can see why some men refuse to give freedom to women. I saw many feminists and they are terrible than some violence men
You have one of the most beautiful faces I have ever seen and I am so happy you got out of such an unhappy, unhealthy situation. No one should ever make you hate yourself.
Breaks my heart to realize that so many parents out there put their daughters in these situations and tell them to stay strong and to bear any violence, abuse, and trauma because they are the wives!!! You are strong and I am so glad you took that stance for yourself despite a lack of any sort of support! My heart goes out to you! May Allah bless you with alot of happiness, success, and peace. Amen!
No body wants to blame the parents but in these case it’s the parents fault you cannot get a child married it’s good that things have worked out better for you may allah bless you and keep you guys happy
I was treated the same way from a Hindu man as me and itsnt nothing with religion, my catholic husband it is the most romantic, loved and respected man i met, be strong i can feel your feeling and i know you deserve the best in this world! You tried that means a lot as a women who respect a family!
It sounds as if you were the perfect wife, beautiful, attentive, caring for your husband and child. He wasn't stupid, he knew what he had and was obviously insecure about it so he had to keep you under his control and away from your friends and family. You are such a beautiful person...well done you!
I’m 16 and I’m married .. and it’s so relatable from her story. “Mental abuse” And I realise a lot of things. I’m in a situation where I don’t know if I wanna leave or what. This person just don’t love me the way I want him to. It’s like if I speak up I’m wrong. :))
you are not the victom. you have all the possibilities in life. you are the most important thing in life and you live once. Don't waste your time for anyone worthless, all love xx
Sister honestly the doubt itself is the answer for you. If your marraige/relationship wasn't that bad, why would that thought pop in your head? Why would you doubt your marraige/relationship?? Imagine if you are so upset about it, how upset Allah might have been with y'll. Just don't force yourself to do this anymore. Find someone who knows your worth and who knows how to keep you happy. I hope the best for you inshallah. Stay safe! Masalama❤️
I wasted 17 to 26 with someone now im a single mum. But getting my life together and back into education to help me work i start at the bottom as i left school at 14 xxx dont waste your youth. Time is priceless, eventually they will grind your spirit down but you always keep strong even when u feel vulnerable have the courage to follow ur heart and cast doubt away xx
I really don’t get this idea of marrying kids at 15-17, when they should be in school interacting with friends, being teens. I’m not saying having sex, but not marriage. No one is prepared at that age for anything in the world. That’s why parents need to protect and care for their kids until they reach of age to make that decision. Relig
Religion , ppl tend to use religion as an excuse to do evil and commit all kinds of atrocities,this is so wrong. I’m not against any religion, but we as humans keep using religious backgrounds to dehumanize others, it’s such a shame. I come from both Muslim and Christian background, but never had to face this, thank God.
The prophet peace be upon him said: “The most complete of the believers in faith are those with the best character, and the best of you are the best in behavior to their women.”
Let’s get real. The Quran teaches, very explicitly, that women are to be subservient to men. It says that women should listen to men, and if not, the last resort to induce subservience should be to “strike them”. The inheritance rules are also biased and sexist. For you to deny that these passages do not contribute to a sexist society which allows these sorts of men to have this power and control over women, you are delusional and in denial. But then again, you believe that a prophet flew to heaven on a winged horse, so I’m not that surprised.
Dnsbsbddv Shdbdbdvd You have too many misconceptions about Islam. You're typical hater which points out few things out of context. I get that its of your Christian missionaries tactics to try defaming Islam. But sorry to disappoint you. It doesn't work.
This is exactly what I went through! And after getting abused from the age of 16 from my ex husband, I came back to the uk and wanted a divorce. My parents didn’t like that idea and told me to get out so I literally had the clothes on my back. A stranger saw me in a state and he offered to get me a coffee and talk, alhamdulillah, 8 months later I’ve been with him ever since and we’re getting married next month! I found the family I never knew I belonged to ❤️
She asked for happiness and Allah gave her exactly that. You're such a strong person, and Allah SWT knows that. May Allah bless you, your spouse and your children
I just left my ex for 12 years. We were about to get married and i converted to the beautiful religion of Islam out of free will.. This man had never apologized to me for treatjng me so bad. I dream about it every night. I hope i will feel better soon!
Oh no! it sounds like you're going through PTSD. My sister went through it after breaking up with her Narcissistic fiance. I would highly recommend seeking professional help from a therapist if you can. I pray this passes soon and you find a much better person who deserves you.
@@Flowlovegrow I'm so sorry to hear that :'( stay strong dear sister, this too shall pass. It took my sister two years to heal from the trauma but she eventually understood why it happened to her, it helped her find the wonderful person she's with now. Pray to God always to give you patience and support.
@la belle province what are you taking about? Women get to rights the day that islam come on earth. Someone like are refusing it. That time is past. Women are more educated than man in nowdays and they know what their rights are.
Women or men who came up from narcissistic relationship/marriage should be celebrated, its hard to get out from that...im proud of you and i knw how hard and painful it is❤❤❤
Mental abuse can leave a scar that lasts longer than physical abuse and it’s upsetting that people around you didn’t see that because of culture. Culture is honestly so toxic sometimes
I was married to the same type of demon. Narcissist fool. I dropped him so fast! Got a Divorce and started my life over without stressed out bull crap. They are a poor excuse for a real man.
Don’t mind the username, it’s just an alias. But in Islamic culture, notice I said Islamic culture and not Islam, I hate how we make excuses for our horrible parents at times. Yes I will respect and obey them but when they do wrong they should be held accountable.
Simba rah Nope. Religion and Culture are two very separate things. I find that some reverts do not experience so much hardships than we Muslims at birth do. I noticed that since men like the idea of being superior to women they use religious blackmail to try to push women down. Same goes to how parents use religious blackmail to threaten their children. Their using Islam as their reference but they use it in a very twisted and evil way. Allah knows what they’re doing, and Allah knows best on what will happen to those who manipulate His words to oppress others.
@j n Treating people with respect regardless of what their face looks like is have good morals. You need to learn the meaning of the word 'morals', since all your comments show that you are lacking.
Being pretty has nothing to do with it . I’m pretty but believe me Iv went though similar experience. It’s like they punish you for your looks as well. Terrible terrible people
This came across my feed so many times. And I finally said let’s see what she has to say. I’m glad I did. I’m so glad u did what u did sister . You deserve to be happy and found the love you deserve ❤️ may allah open the gates to happiness for both of you❤️
The moment she realised her self worth , That gave her strength to first love her self and be happy , YOU ARE gorgeous A VERY STRONG WOMAN YOU ARE AN inspiration TO SO MANY WOMAN.
Please stop apologize anymore. It breaks my heart hearing you say that about your emotions. It's all valid by the fact you feel it. Thank you for sharing your story with us.
Well done for putting your story out there. In my experience of being both physically and emotionally abused, the emotional abuse was worst it took away every inch of love I had for myself. I am out the relationship now and have found someone that treats me like a queen. I am still learning to love myself again however, it is a struggle.
As I read your story my sister am praying my prayers to you and all women in Islam that's facing so strong situations everyday wallahi am so hurt in your story Allah will make you independent person someday my sister be patience dear and pray Allah will answer your prayers and your duas 😥
When she said that her ex husband didn't want her to socialise, i understand her and know what she means. I too live in Pakistan and let me tell you it is considered ideal for a wife here to stay at home at all times, meet less people as possible and do house chores all day long which is not bad if a woman wants it but if you want to build yourself up even just a little bit then it becomes impossible because they really don't want to change themselves the slightest when it comes to their wife but if a husband has a problem then the wife is expected to change herself and her routines and all. And the most sad part about this that all the girls here are raised with this mentality that you should do everything according to your husband and you shouldn't study so much because in the end you will be a house wife and believe me due to this MOST girls don't even try their best at studies because they know its no use and they believe it. In the end I would also like to point out to some great men who literally not only allowed but also helped their wife in their studies and bussiness because to see such men in a society like this it should be praised because even though majority is like this doesn't mean there are no good people like them and this kind of behaviour should be appreciated so that it can become normal as it should be.
It’s NOT OKAY NO MATTER WHAT MAN OR RELIGION TO TREAT A WOMAN LESS THAN THE BEAUTIFUL HUMAN BEING SHE IS! They DON’T VALUE THE MEANING OF A GOOD WIFE!!
Facts!!! But this has nothing to do with religion, I hope it's not culture too because that will be a horrible culture, I always saw cultures as something that makes as different and I love that but there are cultures and traditions that just need to stop. I feel so bad for this girl 😓
wow, after everything you’ve been through you had the courage to explain everything to the public, such a strong woman, you deserve nothing but happiness and inshallah it lasts forever❤️
My husband is Muslim and I loved him so much, I was so loyal to him and never cheated on him. He destroyed my life also my love for him by cheating, lying and polygamy marriage only for sex with different women! When i found out i cry so much it was so horrible for me. He had many wives and still going after hoes for sex online! The women didn't know he was married so dont trust people just because they look good in you're face! My husbands family didn't know he had secret wives and girlfriends only for sex!!! I'm only warning you. (Please please please don't trust people online because their married with children) the other wives and girlfriends dont know he has other women. I'm blessed to find out the truth!ua-cam.com/video/43CVIG2c8rM/v-deo.html
I was married to a narcissistic man for 23 years until I finally broke free. I sympathize with what you experienced and so glad you broke free and found a love you deserve.
"I'm tired of trying" I can relate to that. And you're so right about this- "mental and emotional abuse is the worst, some people won't get it" I'm watching you for the first time btw and I can see you're such a strong soul ❤ giving all love and happiness! Tc x
A woman doesn't need a more stern reason to divorce, we have the same rights. Sisters, don't ever let men fool you! And i'm so happy that you got out of that situation, Alhamdoulillah ❤
I'm a Christian from Sri Lanka. I in a relationship with a man who emotionally abused me as well for 2 years. I know the pain you feel bcz he tricked me. We were in a relationship where are parents tried to stop us. And he gave me false hopes saying he will fight against his fam for me. And leave everything fir me. Towards the end of the 2 years he started withdrawing attention and love and I used to get down on my knees too and beg him to love me the way I loved him. But at the end instead of fighting with his fam for me he left me leaving me soo broken. At the end I found the grave to stand up with gods grace. I feel stronger and better. He would scold ne in filth and even shout at me for crying when I was hurt. He would even blackmail me if I went to end the relationship with him in the beginning. We all deserve better we deserve to be treated better. Regardless of religion, cast or gender. I'm soo proud of you and happy fir you. And I hope someday I too find the right guy who treats me with love and affection. Because I too am like you a hopeless romantic. Tc care love ❤
I’m Srilankan Christian too, just wanted to encourage you, I have been in a similar situation with my first boyfriend. He was a Christian narcissist and a charmer in the beginning, then he mentally abused me and cheated on me. I was very broken and society treated me badly after the break up. I met my amazing husband at church. We are happily married now for almost 13 years with two kids. He’s a real genuine Christian and so happy I have him in my life because life is so beautiful with him. Nothing but love, appreciation, kindness and encouragement from him, his mom is like that too. I thank God because now I appreciate what I have with him more.
@live and let live as a south Asian I know the full problem here is mentality and culture. I am feeling sad to say but it is not right because even Wife of prophet Muhammad(PBUH) was encouraged to become independent. It is wrong to mix culture with religion 🙎🏽♀️. And whatever never give a fuck about what others think .
No not every woman. I am living proof. Actually my neighbours have amazing husbands they were born in Pakistan and Kashmir, who wash dishes AT HOME. and do fulltime job and spend money and time on their families. Not everyone from Pakistan/ abroad is here for VISA!. Trust your INSTINCS for your own self. Their marriages were arranged by family. They trust their instincts also. These days love marriage is also working out great. People using different approaches, asking right questions doing things the way they should. Using heart and mind. Educating themselves to know the signs red flags before marriage. Having a degree or No degree it doesn't matter because if your EGO gets in the way then one can reject a great proposal. Listen to your heart. Pray , ask Almighty God master of the unìverse for help- and signs just like i did - you must pray on the mat and spend time for walks because sixth sense gets high. and i saw an army from the other realm so I have my proof.
I‘m from germany and normally i don’t write a comment, but this video is so powerful and shows how emotional abuse is a thing in the society, especially for woman. Thats not okay and everyone has the right to left this situation.Also it shows that the islam and the culture are not the same thing, wich is important to know. The islam stands for a independent woman, who has the same rights as a man. A very good message from a amazing and powerful woman!
There are other passages about raping and enslaving the women of the right hand. Are they not somebody's daughter, wife, child? How about permission to beat the disobedient wife? Do you know these passages? Saying I divorce you three times with a clap and keeping the kids? Also a Muslim woman can never refuse a man sex at any time. Common you know this. If not talk to your Iman.
What I like in your way of speaking is, every time you say that "I needed to be loved" , you added "I deserved it" and you're so right. Proud of you lady queen.
I felt every bit of this, I got divorced from a narcissist when my daughter was 5 months old. Seeing where you are now really gives me hope. May Allah help us all 🙏🏽
As salaamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh uhkti. The light in your face has returned. I had a similar situation and I too had to leave. Congratulations on having the strength to leave. I left too and I'm so much better for it. You're right mental abuse is so much worse than physical abuse. May Allah forgive your sins. Save you and your family from the torture of the grave and the torment of the hell fire. I pray that Allah blesses you abundantly always my sister.
Astagfurillah, that is mad, I would always give my wife the freedom she wants, I will always put her needs before mine. And if soemthing ain’t working, I will talk about it
I am glad you are a 'better' men then the one described, but the fact that you say it this way, makes me doubt your judgement. It must be this way on default! Women, stop applauding for the things they are already supposed to do! You give them even more power this way.
You reminded me of a relationship I had when I was 16, mum taught me since a very young age to be independent and study more rather than a man. But my first relationship experience unfortunately was with such an abusive partner, he oppressed me in all kind of ways you could imagine. He didn't want me to go see my friends, he didn't want me to go on a vacation with my family, he was making me feel like I'm the ugliest person in the world and all girls are prettier than me, he was nice at the beginning but he stopped complimenting me at all, just being toxic after he made sure that I shut everyone out to need only him. He was making me cry myself to sleep, he was always distracting me with my studies and disappointing me that I won't go to a good college to give up studying. He was manipulative and humiliated me a lot, as I'm a bad Muslim and I'll go to hell for no damn reason, he told me a lot that I can't be successful in my life and I'll always be down, once he called me just to shout at me and telling me how bad I am and how I should obey him also for no reason. Though I did everything I could to make him at least appreciate me. I was living this toxic life till he told me that he's going to read Al-Fatiha on some girl and he's going to marry her. I just decided to block him everywhere and never think of him again Thank god, now I'm going to get engaged to someone who appreciates me and loves me a lot and I'm so happy rn For all girls and boys who have abusive partners, just have patience and don't harm yourselves by staying with them
This is not all about ISLAM. I have been abused by a christian man who claimed himself as a good christian. No matter what religion it is. Bad guy stays bad, not religions/beliefs to blame.
Well devil is good deceiver. Narcissist is never good who follow some religion just for himself, First he need to really want to change and serve others too and share with others not just take. And do not use religion just when it is good for Him, maybe he tried but because he was broken it takes time, lot came from injuries of heart, mentality, Family, how they raised him. People never can fulfill their heart with controling someone and parasitize on someone that not love and if they Did not experienced love they have false image. Try to forgive, because he deserve pity if he was Like that, pray and take time Sister. God can clean and heal and again fulfill your heart 😪🙏🌼😊💓 Bless you.
@@lubel9750 thank you. I have forgave him. And im still in healing process. We aware why they are abusers coz of, mentality, family, etc..
My reply has nothing to do with that. I stand for Islam which gets the blame over abusing women...Abusing woman is not based on religion. It based on the man. On my side and those who got abused, its not easy as A.B.C to forget and heal that fast. No no. Its mentally and physically. It takes long.. Well thanks tho...
@@anische3475 yeah im Christian but i agree with you. Im glad for your comment because sometime person is finding anything to blame it even religion but its not always Like that.
.
And it have to be healed not just ignored or covered, person need to accept it, cry, admit it and invite God into it (sometime its good to confront guy with it if he dont run away, and say whats on your heart because you need to talk about it) , God He can clear that, heal and fulfill the heart, he know how to turn bad into something good, so dont worry. 🙂🌼i Will pray for you and for others because its not easy, but we are not alone in it dont have to handle by ourselfs, please pray for me too 🙏
@@lubel9750 I have tried to confront and settle things. The best ways that i could. Until at one stage where I refuse to be stress on things I cannot change and control. I prefer postive vibes. I love him very much I invest many for him. Yet I am still useless and nothing. it was heartbreaking. Again i would say this has nothing to do with religion. No religion/belief teach us to be bad to each other. Its not a problem if Christian has common with Islam. We are living in a free world. But thinking bad and doing bad to other religion is bad.
Thank you very much. Much love and peace from Malaysia 😘
@@liveinviewoftheendlive9075 Errr ! What happened to, "Wife, I need to talk to you because I'm starting to feel insecure."
I think that might have done the trick 🤔...less painful for the wife too!
It’s not always the culture, not always the religion, it’s about the men’s mentality
@@rachelle4853 well your wrong. That kind of abuse only happens more frequently because they misuse certain rules there to control women which makes abuse against them more frequent. You can easily see atheist men be abusive and cruel to their wives. Neck beards are known to insult theists especially Christianity and Islam but still behave toxically to women who aren't really submissive in work and in bed. You can even see them insulting western women and wanting foreign (mostly Japanese) women who seem more 'submissive' and 'kind' to their partners. TLDR- atheist partners can still be toxic how someone is raised counts. Religion is mostly irrelevant.
@@rachelle4853 if you think america doesn't have the same issues, you should really look into mormons, christian fundamentalists, baptists and catholics. you'll find plenty of crazy people who belief very sexist and backward things too
but in religious communities, men tend to be more sexist, whether you're hindu, muslim or christian...
Yes the msns mentalaty.. but the muslims have a very diffrent mentality.
@R Mia
Okay
She’s basically repeating my story. Except I ran away from home to marry a man I had never met or seen to avoid being forced into marriage by my parents to someone I didn’t like-at 19. Was Married for 12 years and after 2 children, made the decision to leave for the SAME EXACT REASONS. The lack of affection, intimacy and then the years of infidelity and an addiction to pornography which no one seemed to care about. I just couldn’t do it anymore. Walked out with my kids 12 years later, officially divorced and single.. my family disowned me. so here I am, a grown, 35 year old, highly educated and independent woman with two kids, 12 and 7, doing what I do best-Single mom, Nurse with a doctorate in nursing, raising two beautiful children.
MasyaAllah you're such a strong woman, may Allah always protect you and your kids, sending you my loves to your family❤️❤️
Simran Kaur Beauty Woow....uv inspired me,whatever you went through was awful!But uv challenged me..I want to go back to school!
Wow loved you're story
What a independent boss
All men cheat and are like that
One day your son will watch this video and he will thank God for the beautiful strong woman his mother is.
She was let down by everyone around her since she was young but the fact that she found the strength to leave is epic.
Periodddttt
Ur ex was a test and ur husband is ur reward. Do not explain urself to anyone. Stay blessed 💕
Well said i agree
🙏
A husband is not a reward but I get what you mean, her husband is now a blessing.
Mic drop!
That's a good way to see things
"It wasn't forced...it was just me doing it to get everyone to be quiet and leave me alone." Sounds like you weren't forced but you were certainly pressured. That is not OK.
was just about to say! Going into a marriage to keep others happy - 100% pressure and the family are accountable.
In my language, we sometimes say “by free and spontaneous will “ when we refer to doing something because we want to. We jokingly change that to “by free and spontaneous pressure” when we make the decision by ourselves, but because others are forcing us to.
Anyway, I find it interesting because in some way, that saying identifies the very important fact that being pressured into something is not consent
this is actually so common and disguised as an arranged marriage even though it's not one, I think pressured marriages are wrong too
It's always the women suffering
He clearly married her for a Visa. This is a common practice in desi countries. I don't know why parents agree to give their daughter for this though.
"as a woman you deserve to feel more than an object " PREACH 👏👏👏👏
taetae spotted hihi
As a human being... Man or woman there is no difference, everybody deserve respect.
ARMYYYYY
👍...
@@parideilgozzo3754 You are Right but the CIRCUMSTANCES with women all over the world are AGAINST THEM...IN MUSLIM AND NON MUSLIM SOCIETIES AND COMMUNITIES ....FROM EAST TO WEST ...FROM INDIA TO AMERICA. .
..THE PREJUDICES, CHAUVINISMS, MISOGYNISM, SEXISM ETC.AGAINST WOMEN..
...IN THE NAME OF CULTURE AND RELIGION,ITS EVERYWHERE AND MORE SUFFERINGS, HUMILIATION ,PAIN DISCRIMINATION AGAINST THEM!!
The 1K people who disliked this video are the family members of that ex-husband.
And The guy who hate girls!
😅
Hahaha
Haha 😂 😆 🤣. Haha 😂. And where did you also come from ?!! You’re lots fun
yes your family
Her mother was in the wrong. So what she spoke about getting married. She was 13 years old. Got her engaged at 15 when she was still a child. No good parent will do that.
I think it’s a bit harsh to judge her mum... I’m sure a lot of parents went down this line and didn’t realise the damage... not all parents are in tune with their kids or society ... doesn’t make her a bad parent...
Fatima Begum I understand what you mean sister but like I said I wasn’t forced into this situation I only did it because I thought it might work out and make my parents happy. Now being a parent myself I understand why my mum who had been bought up back home in a strict family would do something like this. She is an amazing parent and till this day I have not been able to repay her for everything she has done for me. May Allah grant her the highest rank in Jannah. Much love to you
@@ashandpai Ameen ❤❤ I mean i can't give negative labels to other mothers when they might be raised differently. I am sure your mother is still great. Don't mind the comments.
Ankita s yes we do. In Islam heaven is under women’s feet
Fatima Begum Sorry sister, but we are in no place to call out people. You also have to put yourself in her mother’s shoes, she obviously tried to do her best. What’s right to you may seem wrong to me or the other way around. This has also to do with cultural upbringing. Parents are as much humane as us. No matter the age, we, humans have lots to learn from our mistakes. We also don’t know how the mother suffered through everything her OWN daughter went through. Who knows, the mother maybe till this day beats herself up? Or she doesn’t know everything that’s happened.
I was in my early 30’s when I got married. I was never in a relationship with a man before. But I was getting older and want to start having kids. I met a Muslim man online and ended up marrying him. I reverted to islam after marriage...by my choice, then had a coupled kids. Within the 14 years of marriage to this man...I never understood his behaviour and his temper. Only until recently Ive heard of the word narcissist. After looking into this mental illness that I just recently discovered. He has the qualities of a person who is a narcissistic. Although he was never diagnosed as being one...I believe he is. I’m in a situation where I’m now in my 40’s and want to leave, but I cannot because I spent most of my 14 year out of work raising my kids. I bought a house before I married him...I’m now in a situation where i need to find a job and leave my house. In all honesty, I’m happy to leave this all behind just to get out of here and move on. I have no friends and no family support. Please keep me in your prayer
I hope things get easy for you will definitely pray for you ❤️
The almighty Allah is ur strength just keep praying n keep loving ur children...
Hi Monique 0x0
Why leave your house??
PLEASE never, ever do that.
It is your house.
Call the police and get him to leave.
I had to do that!
I was going through terrible mental abuse and now what I consider to be sexual abuse as he was having sexual relations with prostitutes and was constantly wanting sex with me while he was drunk and smelled disgusting and couldn't perform properly!!
It was disgusting!
He taught my sons to disrespect me.
In the end I told him to leave and take my 18 year old son with him.
Do not give up your house, as I feel that you will regret it.
Get support, get a lawyer (if you can) and ask him to leave.
It is YOUR HOUSE!!
Good luck.
please search online for abused women shelters or organizations that can help you find jobs and counseling. give yourself what you deserve.
You must be strong in one important thing if u leave him u must never come back because it's one of the most spreading mistakes a girl can make! it's best for you if you stay in your apartment!! And what country do you live in if it's okay to ask!
I love the part when she said everyone was against her second marriage, which turn out to be the greatest choice she has made in her life. Mental abuse can destroy anyone, no joke, and I'm really glad she got out of it
scary how our world works
The same situation here I escaped with a 7month old baby when he start hitting calling names and choking my neck when I’m breast feeding my son I left him with out saying a word and living in peace with my baby boy
Its obvious they were against it because it was immoral. The woman was seeing another man while married to her husband. Even an adulterer can say their second marriage was the "best decision of their life", doesn't mean people should be ok with it.
Why does it have to be the women trying to make it work all the time.
I swear
Mbalenhle Magwaza because they are stupid!
@@Sumaya_iran im a girl and i want to stay single forever
Ask yourself
Women demands so much
Which is very hard for a man to provide
Well they always say they left their mom and dad for you
Ask yourself why did you leave your parents
Their is a reason first one future security, women's need a man
Also you guys always check out a man before you get married
Is he can provide everything for you
Is he good man
Then why do you complain so much
You women's are complainer
Majority women's are in European countries you guys can work because here is opportunities that you are able to work
That's why you guys talk big
I respect women's has right but you take everything for granted
Think about those women around the world they can't do the way you treat a man
That's why there is less divorce than European countries
@j n Don't call a woman you dont know well 'honey'. It is inappropriate. And stop replying to every comment with negativity. Did your parents not teach you any manners?
Ur mother doesn't want you to go through the same situation she went through but she marries you at 16. Extremely illogical !!! Sometimes mothers have the best intentions but they end up doing the worst of damage
Most mothers aren’t like that.
She said she wasnt forced to marry.
Believe me, her mother doesn't want this but guess what, she doesn't have a say, realistically
She wasn't on sale.
Genie InAbottle Best comment ever. 👏🏼
My cousin married a woman who was not Muslim at first but later she became Muslim, so we were having a family gathering celebrating my uncle's wedding when they called for sallah she was the first person to stand and perform ablution while everyone was chatting away, she really taught us a lesson sometimes these reverts appreciate Islam more than those who are born into it
That is so true. Most of the time reverts are far better muslim than us born muslims. Barakallahu feekum.
A question, did she become muslim before the marriage?
9 / 11 dah after
Wow mashallah
True !!
subhanillah
Bint Khidam said
“My father married me to his nephew, and I did not like this match, so I complained to the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ). He said to me “accept what your father has arranged.” I said “I do not wish to accept what my father has arranged.”
He said “then this marriage is invalid, go and marry whomever you wish.” I said “I have accepted what my father has arranged, but I wanted women to know that fathers have no right in their daughter’s matters (i.e. they have no right to force a marriage on them). (ibn majah)
Sunan Abi Dawud 2096
Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas:
A virgin came to the Prophet (ﷺ) and mentioned that her father had married her against her will, so the Prophet (ﷺ) allowed her to exercise her choice.
Great job, and a stronger authority is the Qur'an, and the Qur'an makes it clear (but no one reads it it seems) that the female has the final say on who she marries or accepts for marriage always and if she says no to something regarding her marriage, it means no, and no one can force her or pressure her into anything, particularly regarding the matter of marriage (but also regarding religion, since compulsion is strongly spoken against in the Qur'an, as well as oppression). At the end of the day though, most people don't seem to care at all or know this, and the Qur'an just sits on a shelf somewhere being ignored by most everyone.
@Dani You be careful who you worship, The creator (God) or his creation, Jesus (as)
I love that woman she really did that for the women of the ummah ❤
@@aFoxyFox. she said she wasn't forced
Physical abuse scars can heal, but emotional/mental abuse can linger for a while. I speak from experience, my dear. *BIG HUGS* from a non Muslim woman in Canada.
Sorry Karen would you like to call my manager 👀🏃🏻
@@bhekidlamini1199 uncalled for, grow up.
@@bhekidlamini1199 the heck??
@@bhekidlamini1199 have some respect sir
@@bhekidlamini1199 Rude, she is being kind.
Muslims will never accept that parents can also be wrong. Just because a mother has paradise beneath her feet doesn't mean she can't enter hell. Just because a father is a door to paradise doesn't mean he can't enter hell. Allah has more rights over us than our parents. Allah will question our parents regarding our treatment because children are a test. A daughter is Allah's mercy. Parents can also enter hell for mistreating their children, for snatching their rights or for failing to protect them.
Some parents only know one ayat in the Quran which is about parents. The problem is that Muslims only mention verses that are in their favour. So, parents will only mention verses that are in their favour but they will never mention verses that in children's favour.
If parents have been given a high status, then that is a blessing and every blessing is a test. Parents have no right to misuse the honour and status Allah gave them. The way you treat someone weaker than you shows character.
Nimrah Khan
Sadly very true nobody speaks about the rights of children. Muslims have let Islam down .
@@nazmed8141 True
Naz Med not all muslims as there’s 2 billion of us
👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
I totally agree. I always tell my not-yet Muslim friends to study Islam, and not man. Understand the teachings of Islam and the Sunnah not traditional rites and beliefs of Muslims as a race. Alhamdulillah for good parents, and May Allah grant us the ability to be a means of ease towards others. Ameen..
This is how you know you were raised with the right way of religion. You did not once question your faith in all of this. May Allah swt keep you happy
JazakAllah ❤️❤️❤️
That's because she is totally brainwashed, like you.
@@NoTaboos what did you just say? And what do you mean by it?
@@NoTaboos ok
@@NoTaboos lmao brainwashed. Bruh get a life.
"I realized how happy I was without him" wow..
The moral of the story is mothers and fathers build your daughters up. Look after their physical and emotional needs. Make sure the household is of great example. Build solid communication with your children.
Raise your boys to be respectful of girls and make sure your boys are self sufficient and know their way around the house. Don’t train your girls to be maid and your boys to be kings.
Some cultures need to be destroyed
100% agree. My country do have a sarcastic poem for men who don't do house chores lol! 🤣😂
wait it is the ugly way of thinking when you say some cultures must be destroyed is what you call xenophobia toba toba
@@khanbibi you want misogyny to thrive ?
@@Inayaheleven i certainly don't lmao
I hope by cultures you mean misogyny rather than actual cultures!
AS SOON AS MY FIANCE STARTED SAYING WE ARE NOT GOING TO EAT THIS OR THAT, , I SAID THERE 'S THE DOOR!!!!!!!! NO ONE TELLS ME WHAT I WILL EAT DRINK WHEN I WILL WAKE UP. GOD DIDN'T GIVE YOU THAT KIND OF PERMISSION, ITS MY HOUSE MY DAD GAVE IT TO ME, SO GET OUT OF MY LIFE!!!!!!! MY COUSIN TOLD ME BEFORE YOU GET MARRIED, PRAY TO GOD THAT HE SHOWS YOU SIGNS. MAY ALL THE SKELETONS COME OUT OF THE CLOSET BEFORE YOU MARRY HIM WHY GO THROUGH THAT. SO GLAD ITS OVER!!!!!!!!!
Same here I had to tell him my every move I just left
@Jay Bee not at all I left when my son was 19 days old I couldn't take it... he use to abuse me mentally I was not allowed to look out the window I would get accused with the damn neighbors when he came to visit my son when my son was around 1 month or so he actually said he does not think it's his child lol n mind u I was at home 24/7 n that's when I stopped him from coming to visit his child
@Jay Bee Crazy asf how he gonna tell you how to wear your hair these people crazy
@Jay Bee Idk what makes a man or woman think they own someone like that but thats not cool and its scary if you ask me
@@raeesanawaz4634 My ex was like that too and I felt so uncomfortable. It made me feel that everytime I tell him where I went in his mind he already calculated the time for him to do some sneaky shit and I knew that so one day I told him fuck him and I ain't telling you shit. I told him you're not my father so good bye!
You did the right thing to leave him sister...
It proves the strenght you have.
Khaddouj El ibrahimi thank you sis! ❤️
Yes Alhumdulillah she left that psychopath.
I recently escaped my marriage from an abusive controlling narcissistic man. But I have 7 kids I'm now trying to raise alone.
Do you regret it?
@@m.a.156 nope
KiNami......God Bless You and Keep You And Let His Holy LIght Shine Upon You And Give You Peace. I am so impressed. I pray you have a support group ....you have all my prayer group's prayers.
May Allah swt give you all the strength and happiness ❤
@@saraibrahim2614 and you sister ameen
A marriage with a narcissist is so difficult. Talking to a narcissist is like arguing against a wall. They are not capable of taking responsibility for there mistakes or any bad situation. And we all know marriage is not all roses and fortune.
being with a narc period is difficult i had one for a stepmom and sadly my oldest daughter picked up this horrible trait too sadly it is a learned behavior
Ugh my pet peeve: men or women who use Islam to manipulate people to do what they want ugh. So sorry about what you went thru, I'm glad you're in a much better place
It’s not just Islam, Christian men do this too. I dated one for almost 5 years. THE worst kind of people use religion to control others.
@Tiredofdumbfuks It wasn't manipulation, may I remind you that they chose to follow Islam on their own in the prophet's time, the prophet didn't force anyone to do anything, he just spread Islam and tried to get as much believers as he could. Talk about getting your pretty head out of your ass.
@Tiredofdumbfuks No, manipulation meaning having control on someone. He didn't have control on anyone, it was all their decision, they just listened and followed.
@Tiredofdumbfuks I'm sorry I'm trying to make sense of your point you're attempting to make. No, he had no control over them. Back then, they were human just as us and I'm sure we're all capable of making our own decisions. If he had a certain control over everyone, don't you think everyone would be Muslim because of that control? Look where we are now, everyone has their different religions because he did not control anyone at all, everyone made their own decisions on which path to follow and our family back then CHOSE Islam, they were not forced into it by any manipulation.
this is done no matter what religion even Christians and Jewish are just as guilty
a narcissist will NEVER change. they will just make you feel more and more inadequate about yourself for never being able to fully please their wild demands.
😂😂😂😂
Yes, thats me and my husband says what you just said about me. Its not easy for me....having been unloved and uncared ...ive been made this way. Its not a choice i have. I do want to change but its impossible.
I was controlled for 20 years from my husband thank god I put my foot down and divorced him been happily divorced for 6 years
I salute u
@@pinkbubbles1173 Well. it is possible. The problem is, they will not agree to therapy. And if they do. it takes very intensive and long time therap[y. Evenb then it is difficult for Narciassists to change.
I'm sorry that the adults in your life didn't try harder to protect you when you were just a teenager. You are an incredibly good-hearted person for continuing to speak nicely about everyone despite all the struggles that you have been through. I'm so proud of you for recognizing your worth and choosing happiness. And girl you are so gorgeous Masha'Allah! 💕
Did anyone even watch the whole video? Everyone's comments are as if they didn't understand what she was saying. Her family was opposed to these things, they didn't push her into anything, she was the one making bad decisions and forcing people to follow after her bad decisions.
1. She said because her mother got divorced from her father and her father left them, she imagined in her delusions that he was probably a great person and she wanted a daddy to treat her like a princess because she was so foolish as to believe absolute lies on the internet and coming from people who were making up fantasies about their father's and if she had known her father in reality she would likely have hated him like most normal people tend to do because they are annoying altogether and familiarity breeds contempt as it is said, plus he left and was never around, so duh, he was not going to be a great person.
2. Next, she started to pursue serious relationships at the age of 13 and possibly earlier, and her Mother and Step Father moved away to Pakistan with her, where she again pushed to get married as radically early as possible, at the age of 15 she was engaged and 16 she was married, something that is pretty insane already, and it was her doing it all and pushing it, and her family didn't want her to start having sex outside of marriage and she seemed out of control basically and so insistent on this idea.
3. She would sit around having expectations of a dream marriage or dream person (was this person much older or just a 16 year old child themselves?) and would not explain too much, would dramatically do things like drag the man's hand on their face and cry at their feet like a lunatic, and was basically an extremely immature and underdeveloped person (which is why people should probably not think they are capable of mature relationships at such young ages, but her family was just letting her make all kinds of decisions when her brain isn't even developed).
4. She then pushed her way into having a child, making matters even worse and more complicated, and then started hearing from others that she should divorce and separate, and her family didn't like the idea that she was following in the tragic tale of her own mother, and would be a divorced single mother where it would be hard for her to marry again, but little did they know she had also started to have an affair online with a person interested in Islam (and her beauty and body no doubt).
5. Even though she apparently had nothing, she was somehow able to escape and pay for an apartment of her own? The story seemed like it was missing some crucial details in order to be as dramatic as possible, including the "rain and thunder" part, which shows her tendency towards melodrama and that she likely has "Borderline Personality Disorder" since she shows traits for having that in several ways, and the people with "Borderline Personality Disorder", as normal as they may appear at first, tend to create increasingly tense scenarios where they re-live their trauma and fears of abandonment endlessly.
6. She, instead of following the procedures in the Qur'an carefully, instantly jumped into a new marriage full force, and we all wish her the best.
Now in the comments people are leaving comments that seem to indicate they are only guessing what was said and shown in the video, or are entirely absorbed in their own life story and not listening to what she said. She said the decisions were her own and were bad decisions that she regrets, that she was pushing for all of it and wanting each of the steps and making them happen, it was not other people, people were resistant to her idiotic desires repeatedly, and she basically forced her way into a marriage with some weirdo she scarcely knew at all, whose personality showed through (in a rather normal fashion seemingly) after a while, and he was basically dull, boring, and un-romantic (like most people who have no idea what the heck they are doing in life), and he even said he might be mentally retarded, which she just wouldn't accept or believe (he really might be).
So, seeing how I'm apparently the only person who actually watched the video among all the commenters, I was sort of incensed and annoyed by all these weird out of the blue assumptions and statements people seem to be making, like if you're going to act sympathetic (not you, I mean these other people), at least watch and try to understand what the video actually said!
@@aFoxyFox. Trust me, I understood exactly what was said lol. She said that she got engaged when she was FIFTEEN years old. Fifteen! That's a child! Are you really going to tell me that as a parent you would give in to any of your child's demands when they are literally a minor? Up until age eighteen, it is surely the parents' responsibility to protect their child, help them make good decisions and guide them.
I didn't even want to bring this stuff up cause I wanted to focus on the positive sides to this video, but here we are... As a young teenager, she started thinking about being in relationships as any regular teenager would do. What did her parents do? They were like 'since you want this so much and we don't want you to fall into sin, we're gonna get you married'! Right now, as a kid! I don't know about you but I find this ridiculous. To me, it's failed parenting. You don't just go and get your 16-year-old daughter married because she's getting 'out of control'. That is definitely a recipe for disaster.
It truly broke my heart how she kept emphasizing that it was her choice, she wasn't such a good Muslim back then, that she made bad decisions and she didn't want to place blame on anyone else. She said that the marriage wasn't forced but also she agreed to do it so that everyone would leave her alone. Sounds a lot like she was pressured to me. It's the whole reason why her parents took her to Pakistan. She was a teenager for crying out loud. She didn't even know what she wanted from life and you think she was fully aware of what she was getting into? Maybe it's the fact that I have a healthcare background cause to me it's similar to how many abuse victims may feel guilt and blame themselves for the trauma that they went through. I have seen this happen in front of my eyes, so I think I know what I'm talking about.
My message to Ayesha: Love, none of it was your fault. You didn't deserve any of the abuse. You didn't bring it upon yourself. When you are literally a child, the responsibility of understanding the consequences of making life-changing decisions does not fall on your shoulders. The adults in your life should have made better decisions. You are a beautiful person inside and out and you deserve so much happiness. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. 💖
@@safinavw I agree with your comments and I am glad you wrote them. I'm not sure her parents moved all the way to Pakistan just for her, maybe they had some other reason for doing so, but I think that she probably wasn't lying about being insistent on this idea of getting in a relationship as soon as they possibly could. I don't think it is right though, not at all, I think letting an idiotic child make decisions of such weight is tremendously stupid, and that her parents are weaklings and fools, but that she was likely to do some terrible things regardless, like for example having sex and getting pregnant outside of marriage in the UK or even in Pakistan due to her being obsessed apparently with these ideas and always pushing her way into getting whatever she wants. Her daughter may even follow in her footsteps, and the same cycle continues yet again, but I wonder what she would do this time or if such was to occur again with a headstrong daughter trying to push her way into relationships and sexual encounters prematurely and at an early age?
I do not believe that allowing a marriage of a child like this is a good idea at all, but it is legal to marry at ages even earlier than hers in some parts of the United States (like Hawaii, where her new Husband comes from), and regardless of laws, people in Hawaii (where I lived for many years) were often having sex and children at an extremely young age also, outside of marriages or any sort of rules or monetary support considerations, so there are benefits that she went about doing what she was hell-bent on doing in a more structured format, however hideous and erroneous it all is.
She is 25, has two children now (one from one guy, one from the other) and still seems to be headstrong and immature to the extreme, with a guy who is quite young (23 or so). The whole thing is an irritating mess, and I really can't feel pleased or happy about any of it, but here is how I make myself feel better (lol, as if that matters, but it is really all that matters to me or any of us probably that we are focused on how we ourselves feel about things), and that is the idea of two possible stories:
One of the stories has this exact same sequence or something similar playing out with "running away from home to have sex and ending up getting pregnant with the man she ran away to in the UK" or "all that happening except within the structure of a marriage, with her family connections still somewhat intact, and with people somewhat being monitored or observed and have people to answer to rather than like the numerous stories I've heard of similar things happening outside of marriages or community structures and things like that". At the end of the day, for a foolish person like her, I think she got the better of the two versions, and it also seems to sound better to people (and future prospects) that she was in a marriage rather than just some kind of random relationship and had a child out of wedlock and all that stuff, overall her story ends up being the better of the two possibilities.
Of course, if there was ever the option that she does not do any of this stuff, that would be the best, and her family had every right to restrict her, but she would then probably have complained about how they were locking her up and so abusive and not letting her just go out and have sex at 13 or 14 or 15 and not let her be with the love of her life at 15 and marry him and blah blah blah, so its basically a lose lose situation as far as I could read from her personality traits and story points.
I'd really dislike having a child like that, and I'll be avoiding having children probably due to the possibility that some might end up being difficult to get to do the right thing and being the cause of so much stress.
If you go to her Q & A video, you get a glimpse into more of her personality, where she talks about how she obsessively would mistrust and ask where a person was or should be reported to every second, and would spy on the computers and internet to see what they were doing due to jealousy and fear of abandonment (because she very likely has some kind of Borderline Personality Disorder though she is unlikely to ever get that dealt with, if it even can be, it is one of the most difficult things to ever deal with because the people who have it just constantly get into fights) which she also mentions how she would fight constantly with her new Husband before they were together or married. I mean it sounds dreadful, and we didn't hear the side of the story from the "retard" that married her in the first place and all the antics she was likely up to, since they usually tell one-sided stories (if you've dealt with enough of these people, who come in all shapes and sizes and sexes, but they all have things in common).
She (like so many other BPD types) makes herself appear extremely attractive and a heroic half-victim who is self-deprecating but these can all be manipulations which come naturally to people with this psychological issue (due to the abandonment and other factors, besides genetics, so her backstory of the father not being around fits perfectly into the profile).
She was no doubt the "victim" in a sense, because her family did not know what to do or how to handle a person like this (and this will remain most likely an ongoing or re-emerging stress and concern for the family, all they can hope for is that her marriage with this new person lasts, but it hasn't even been very long yet, so who knows).
So, I don't doubt that whoever she married was most likely a P.O.S. and a loser (because what kind of a dumbass marries a child anyway?) and that her family are trash as well (maybe her mother was an intolerable type of person also and that is why the original guy left, or maybe the original father was the crazy person who left the genes of craziness in her), but all the decisions were bad, but out of the possibilities, they may not have been entirely as bad as some of the alternatives which people have gone through.
Her "Step-Father" probably wanted to get rid of as well, and so marrying her off seemed like a way to get her off on someone else and some other family to deal with. Now she has other siblings even, and none of them were as wild as her apparently or with stories anywhere similar to hers as far as we are aware, which puts the "black sheep of the family" quality basically on her.
I don't think you know perhaps how much of a terror it can be to deal with some children who are like this, but I've seen multiple families (not Muslims, but all kinds, this is the first time I'm seeing it with a Muslim family) who behave like this, who are basically bent on doing things, who push their way and manipulate everyone and make a huge fuss, are never happy or satisfied with anything really, always looking out for trouble to bring up or fights to make or complaints, and then switching the narrative and the story and telling it all one way. I have very little sympathy, but that may be just because of dealing with too many people and stories like this to really trust these people without further evidence (also, who am I? nobody, so who cares).
Personally, I found both of them to be some of the most simultaneously boring and irritating / annoying people around (which was a weird combination, usually one is one or the other, but I'm basing this on seeing more of their content than just this sob story video ).
The truth is, as you said, little stupid children should NEVER get married, should not rush into having sex, should not be having children of their own when they are semi-retarded themselves with underdeveloped brains and intelligence and reasoning faculties, but out of all the scenarios, hers was not the worst possible punishment for a child pursuing sex and marriage with parents who let her have her way.
I thought i would read it all but yoooo
Wallahi you just told my story.ukhty .would like us to be friends pleeease
My mum got married at 14, I am so grateful that she protected me and never even mentioned me getting married. Late twenties now, single and loving life with the support of both my parents! So grateful to them!
Same here I come from an Indian culture also in my 20s, there's no pressure from my parents, the decision is entirely on my when I feel is the right time and they'll be there to support me
Ur father must have been good
@@lazy_panda8771 even mother’s sometime want to marry of their daughters so you can’t just expect one to be good and the other one bad
Yoo she’s beyond Beautiful like literally!!!
Awww thank you so much 🙏🏼❤️
Exactly, I'm looking at her like ...... Sister you are gorgeous MashaAllah.
That’s the first thing I noticed. Mashallah don’t put yourself down. You are amazing
On God !!!!! That's all I was thinking in mind. How do i look like her? 😂 💯💯She's fiiiiine!!!!!
You have different eyes, but you look like her. She’s beautiful and so are you.
UA-cam is recommending this to everyone now. It’s okay sis🥺🥺🥺
Everyone is praying to their god that he rots in hell
same
Same lol
@@Traumatised311 he mistreated the woman
How truthful is she or he we never know only Allah SWT knows best.
is no one gonna talk about how she was part of the reason why someone converted to Islam, you're so strong and beautiful girl 💜
The fact that you thought it’s “normal” and “you wanted to do your best” shows how good hearted you are, You deserve better 💖
Its always the culture, not the religion..
So why did Mohammed have a 9 year old wife??
@@obadiah3675 so I'm assuming white guys arent pedofiles? Get fucking real dude
@@aishaandathenaFAM if they are they go to jail, the problem is that Muslims view Mohammed as a hero, prophet and someone to follow. Even though he murder people and had children as wives. Says a lot about those following him as well..
@@obadiah3675 are you on crack?
Culture is the religion if you think about it
They had such a wrong image of Islam, they were so negatively cultural. Religious blackmailing, what your husband did was soo wrong. Glad you're better.
ua-cam.com/video/912mkGD1GO8/v-deo.html
FiFi Productions they pick up the hindu culture
Realizing your rights is soooo important!
Education, learning, socializing is what anyone must never ignore.
It’s not islam sis! In islam it’s so wrong to mental abuse your wife.It’s our culture and as a girl they don’t value women as much as man. Sis ppl out there went through similar situations like you and I just wanted to tell you that your not alone❤️
Alif Rahman you’re so right sis! May Allah give us all courage and strength ❤️
V true Islam teaches to respect women not abuse them
@killa Khan And it's not Islam to to judge other women
Don't forget culture is influenced by religion. The verse where it mentions that you can strike your wife if she's disobedient to you people have open interpretation to that. Even some imams encourage it.
Alif Rahman It’s wrong to mentally abuse your wife yet a lot of them do it?! Because “it’s how it should be!”
The cultures that give men a pass to control women like this should be changed from their core
Keyword: cultures
Leya Wonder trust me Islam doesn’t doesn’t do this but wat happens is that culture gets mixed up with it and ppl true to change the laws of Islam to make it seem like it oppressed women wen in fact if you actually read through our holy book you can see that Islam inspires and motivates woman and their rights 💕 Islam does not condone violence or oppression against woman in any way
@Cathy Kandara
I'm sorry but this is pure ignorance, I'm not a Muslim, but it's truly disrespectful the way people are mislead using the same tactics over and over again.
Mohammed is one of the first feminists to ever exist, the respect that was given to women in his time is superior to what we see in most countries today. Those phrases you're talking about are always put in front of people, and without any bit of researched are taken at face value
1. Quraan is written in Arabic, it's very easy to translate a word into a completely different one while claiming it's the same because the dictionary says so. And especially in arabic where one word usually requires more than one english word to get the translation correct. So, don't take any translation you find.
2. CONTEXT CONTEXT CONTEXT. Quran's number one rule is to never read out of context. This is usually used when presenting how much money should a Male get when their parent is dead, not acknowledging that it's a one case thing (when a male and a female are brother and sister) because the male has to use his money to take care of his sisters, he has no right in that money and can't spend it all on himself, unlike the woman who is not obligated to spend a penny on anyone from her share. And let alone the other cases where the female gets more than the male.
Having read the books of Islam, Christianity and Judaism, Islam is truly superior when it comes to women rights and their role in society. At the time of Mohammed women worked side to side with men, and today most countries are contemplating whether they should allow women to have high roles in the country.
If you would like me to answer you about any phrase in Quran and why it's there I'm happy to, I spent 2 years studying the book and asking scholars so I'm well versed in the topic
Ok everyone chill. I understand where cathy is coming from because I was just as ignorant in the past, media doesn't give muslims or their religion a break and this bad exposure is all we get presented with.
I hope you can do more research from less bias resources. Islam has 1.8 billions believers and they're not all dumb and misogynistic, those people memories the entire Quran and read it on daily basis, they know what's in their book, if such crazy concepts were in their book you wouldn't see all of those people who are 50% female embracing their religion. You wouldn't see the girl in the video embracing her modesty. Culture is very different from religion and all I can say about Islam is that it's truly a religion of peace
@Cathy Kandara LOL clearly another ignorant person that "thinks" they know so much about Islam when they clearly don't. Wow just stfu
Let’s do away with this whole religion. Nothing good ever comes of it ever.
I understand fully. People see bruises and they feel sorry for you, and some try to help. Emotional abuse leaves scares that people can't see, so they dont try to help as quick.
Sometimes, people, don't help, because they always see women going back
SIIIISS I JUST WANNA SAY A MASSIVE THANK YOU FOR POSTING THIS AND FOR MENTIONING AT 23 MINS HOW HARD IT IS FOR US MUSLIM WOMEN WHO HAVE GONE THROUGH A MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE MARRIAGE TO GET A DIVORCE FROM THE ISLAMIC COUNCILS IN THE UK. I am currently going through the divorce process at the moment. It's so lovely to see you happy, may Allah keep you happy Aameen! ❤️
*** HEY EVERYONE DUE TO COPYRIGHT *** We had to cutout the very end of the video by replacing it with another song. Thank you so much for all your love and support❤️
My husband is also like ur ex
Can u help me my husband is also leaving in London
اهم شيء سعادتك وراحتك
إذا كنتي حزينة هو من سيكون موجود ويتحمل حزنك أما هم سيهربون منك لأنهم يريدون فقط الفتاة المبتهجة
ربي يسعدك👍💞
may God give you all the hapiness sister love from Tunisia
Love Status&songs what help do you want exactly?
Men can be so mentally and physically abusive and it's never ok, Jesus sets us Free from everything that has hurt us in life. I'm so glad the Lord is healing my wounds.
Thanks for this
@Imani RobertsonI know can be extremely hard at times, but please never take that man back. You can not change him,only he can do that himself with God's help. I have been in some very bad relationships. I had to learn their behavior was not my fault nor was I less then. It's a process though I'm still healing from. At some point we must let go and let God for our own sanity. Prayers going out for your healing and preservation.
@@lucidarose613 Jesus loves us all soo much, he died for us, he is the way the truth and the life. We need to live our lives for Jesus 🙏❣️
Imani Robertson I’m in a similiar situation now but not a drug dealer. Now I’m getting ignored on Facebook then blocks me for days and doesn’t answer my calls then nice again for a day then starts blaming me and accusing me and calling me stupid and leaving me confused and asking myself what god I do? I’m on a constant roller coaster
@Imani Robertson His sister's knew his character and tried to protect you. He sounds like a narcissistic sociopath, who plays on your feelings towards him. It's not your fault, He played alot of mind games. Please stay strong and take it as a learning experience. It will take time for your heart to heal. God does have a great man out there for you.
That man (your current husband) was a blessing. If it wasn’t for him, you might never have divorced your ex. I’m so happy that you left him. You deserve to be happy
You are a brave girl to come out in public. I too went through the same as you did. I finally divorced him and met my wonderful husband .
In May we will celebrate 44 yrs. of marriage
In sha allah may allah protect your marriage for eternity you deserve it ❤️❤️❤️
Mashallah amazing i just moved out of a narcisstic relationship with 2 children
You got married as a child, it's wrong for an adult to marry child.
She was not a child. She was 16. Being 16 is being a teenager.
@@binttariq5670 anyone under 18 in the UK is a child by law.
@@mahfuzahmed9133 ohh ok ok.
Bint Tariq but she’s not an adult
Anisa Ahmed now I know 😭😭
Your face when talking about your ex husband compared to your now husband just shows how much more happier you are..you are beautiful and you deserved to be loved and no one deserves to be in a marriage feeling like that..It’s SO common in the asian culture for many women to put up with abusive, manipulative and controlling men..and they are told to just shut up and deal with it..I’m so proud of you for taking a stand 👏🏻
I observed that too
Are you serious? إبتسام احمد
Loads of Asian girls suffer this ordeal. It’s very common and heartbreaking. I am Pakistani and I experienced a very similar situation.
However, I am so blessed because my parents and entire family supported my decision to leave my ex. They all knew his abusive behaviour and fully understood what sort of man he is. And his mother was very manipulative and supported his actions, including his father and sisters. They were all evil and my family members saw this.
It was actually quite simple for me in that regard. I didn’t have to explain my decision except to few extended family members, and I told them I was suffering. I’m very lucky Alhamdulillah I know. Thanks to Allah. 🙏🏻
It’s a tragic situation to be in and I also had a son with my ex. Alhamdulillah I just recently divorced so InshaAllah my life will be peaceful from now on.
I hope more women and men stand up for themselves, NO ONE deserves this treatment.
إبتسام احمد
JazakAllah. I don’t think she meant it that way, let’s all pray for each other. This world is cruel. May Allah protect us all, Ameen ❤️
Yes I agree mentally tortured is no evidence but it's a worse than physical .
Josie Silong it really is!
They're both just as bad tbh
I have been through both and one is no worse than the other. One can crush your heart and soul but being punched into the wall is no better.
Are you Pakistani????? Real?
Josie Silong don’t compare the two they’re both horrible experiences that no one should go through :(
You keep saying "mom didn't support my divorce obviously" "I met the guy and told my parents they were angry obviously"
The only thing obvious is that your mom didn't care if you were happy or suffering. She went through the same thing, so naturally she would empathize with you but she didn't.
I am sorry love but it seems your own mother is also a narcissist and if she actually cared about you, you wouldn't have to suffer through all that. All teenagers are crazy, doesn't mean they get to be wed off to any random guy who hasn't been properly vetted.
PREACH!!!
Most parents now are narcissistic sadly
This is one of the most beautiful women I have seen..... to think she had such low esteem is surprising but not shocking.
Nduku Musyoki thank you so much 🥰
@Lashawnda Stephens lol, if you people stop having sex with men I think it will disturb you more than men. Men should respect women whether is your wife or mother. Women also should always respect men. No one deserves to treat like a donkey. I pity men or women who treat their spouse bad. If you don't love someone don't marry them. Some men marry women just for their sexual desires and their is no love.
@Lashawnda Stephens I know women are not born for sex just like men. Men also going along before they start sex. I can abstain from sex for 30 years and it will not be problem to me. I am man who was absent from sex for almost 25 years. I was virgin for almost 25 years old. I had many chance to had sex but I turned it down. Men need women just like women need men. I don't support some men just like some women also. No one deserves to be in terrible marriage. In my country sometimes women will make a men to do physical violence. If you never have problem with your wife and they will said oh his wife control him and he is afraid of her. One of brother wife used to cheat on him when he travel and she think that no one know it but I was taking my time until the day I saw them in my brother's house and that day I had bit them like I never knew them and all of them collapsed and after that my brother divorce her. Arab country are terrible for women.
@Lashawnda Stephens lol, feminists. I can see why some men refuse to give freedom to women. I saw many feminists and they are terrible than some violence men
You have one of the most beautiful faces I have ever seen and I am so happy you got out of such an unhappy, unhealthy situation. No one should ever make you hate yourself.
Aww thank you so much ❤️
You didn’t deserve anything you went through. You’re not a bad person for moving on too. I’m happy you found someone who treats you right ❤️
Kyinaat Saud thank you sis!!!❤️
“Atleast i had a roof on my head and that was more than enough for me “ 🔥those words
Breaks my heart to realize that so many parents out there put their daughters in these situations and tell them to stay strong and to bear any violence, abuse, and trauma because they are the wives!!! You are strong and I am so glad you took that stance for yourself despite a lack of any sort of support! My heart goes out to you! May Allah bless you with alot of happiness, success, and peace. Amen!
ua-cam.com/video/912mkGD1GO8/v-deo.html
Allahuma Ameen
No body wants to blame the parents but in these case it’s the parents fault you cannot get a child married it’s good that things have worked out better for you may allah bless you and keep you guys happy
Romo B thank you...somebody said it!!!finally.... And its something that should be addressed
Your so right, "emotional abuse" is so hard to prove, I know because I'm a victim of it.
I was treated the same way from a Hindu man as me and itsnt nothing with religion, my catholic husband it is the most romantic, loved and respected man i met, be strong i can feel your feeling and i know you deserve the best in this world! You tried that means a lot as a women who respect a family!
don't mslign any religion plz.. narcissist can hail from any religion be it..hindu muslim Christian..
@@anns2943 me too was thinking what has religion to do with narcissim
Its not the religion but the culture.
Both. The culture is heavily influenced by the religion
@@jennbrandon8182 No, the culture comes from hinduism people in morocco do not do this or turkey, this is an Asian culture from tribalism.
@@AdoptedPoo even tho the legal age to marry in marocco is 18. Child marriage increased in the last 3 years. There are a lot of articles about it
No, it's religion which helps promotes patriarchy
shaelovebeyonce it is the culture, marriages that are not based on love or forced marriages are haram in Islam it is all the culture
It sounds as if you were the perfect wife, beautiful, attentive, caring for your husband and child. He wasn't stupid, he knew what he had and was obviously insecure about it so he had to keep you under his control and away from your friends and family. You are such a beautiful person...well done you!
Do you actually believe she was the perfect wife lol
this is brutally honest - your understanding is very mature and refreshing - thanks for this
I’m 16 and I’m married .. and it’s so relatable from her story. “Mental abuse”
And I realise a lot of things. I’m in a situation where I don’t know if I wanna leave or what.
This person just don’t love me the way I want him to. It’s like if I speak up I’m wrong. :))
you are not the victom. you have all the possibilities in life. you are the most important thing in life and you live once. Don't waste your time for anyone worthless, all love xx
Sister honestly the doubt itself is the answer for you. If your marraige/relationship wasn't that bad, why would that thought pop in your head? Why would you doubt your marraige/relationship?? Imagine if you are so upset about it, how upset Allah might have been with y'll. Just don't force yourself to do this anymore. Find someone who knows your worth and who knows how to keep you happy. I hope the best for you inshallah. Stay safe! Masalama❤️
I wasted 17 to 26 with someone now im a single mum. But getting my life together and back into education to help me work i start at the bottom as i left school at 14 xxx dont waste your youth. Time is priceless, eventually they will grind your spirit down but you always keep strong even when u feel vulnerable have the courage to follow ur heart and cast doubt away xx
I really don’t get this idea of marrying kids at 15-17, when they should be in school interacting with friends, being teens. I’m not saying having sex, but not marriage. No one is prepared at that age for anything in the world. That’s why parents need to protect and care for their kids until they reach of age to make that decision. Relig
Religion , ppl tend to use religion as an excuse to do evil and commit all kinds of atrocities,this is so wrong. I’m not against any religion, but we as humans keep using religious backgrounds to dehumanize others, it’s such a shame. I come from both Muslim and Christian background, but never had to face this, thank God.
The prophet peace be upon him said: “The most complete of the believers in faith are those with the best character, and the best of you are the best in behavior to their women.”
Culture! Culture! Culture! Destroys men.
As women we wish to find that🤔
Munmun
InshAllah both you find right spouses
Let’s get real. The Quran teaches, very explicitly, that women are to be subservient to men. It says that women should listen to men, and if not, the last resort to induce subservience should be to “strike them”. The inheritance rules are also biased and sexist. For you to deny that these passages do not contribute to a sexist society which allows these sorts of men to have this power and control over women, you are delusional and in denial. But then again, you believe that a prophet flew to heaven on a winged horse, so I’m not that surprised.
Dnsbsbddv Shdbdbdvd
You have too many misconceptions about Islam. You're typical hater which points out few things out of context. I get that its of your Christian missionaries tactics to try defaming Islam. But sorry to disappoint you. It doesn't work.
This is exactly what I went through! And after getting abused from the age of 16 from my ex husband, I came back to the uk and wanted a divorce. My parents didn’t like that idea and told me to get out so I literally had the clothes on my back. A stranger saw me in a state and he offered to get me a coffee and talk, alhamdulillah, 8 months later I’ve been with him ever since and we’re getting married next month! I found the family I never knew I belonged to ❤️
misbah khan that’s amazing! Congratulations!
misbah khan who the stranger who took you for coffee
crazy! alhamdulillah ❤️
Nura Bell now my soon to be husband!
misbah khan MashAllah that’s amazing may Allah bless your relationship with lots of love and happiness!❤️❤️❤️
She asked for happiness and Allah gave her exactly that. You're such a strong person, and Allah SWT knows that. May Allah bless you, your spouse and your children
I just left my ex for 12 years. We were about to get married and i converted to the beautiful religion of Islam out of free will..
This man had never apologized to me for treatjng me so bad. I dream about it every night. I hope i will feel better soon!
Oh no! it sounds like you're going through PTSD. My sister went through it after breaking up with her Narcissistic fiance. I would highly recommend seeking professional help from a therapist if you can. I pray this passes soon and you find a much better person who deserves you.
@@Salma30b thank you that is zo sweet ❤️ i every day break down in tears and then i try to pick myself up and go on.. i need to.. but it really hurts
@@Flowlovegrow I'm so sorry to hear that :'( stay strong dear sister, this too shall pass. It took my sister two years to heal from the trauma but she eventually understood why it happened to her, it helped her find the wonderful person she's with now. Pray to God always to give you patience and support.
@@Salma30b thank you sister ❤️
That is why every women need to learn her rights in the religion. Otherwise some will always misuse against
@la belle province what are you taking about? Women get to rights the day that islam come on earth. Someone like are refusing it. That time is past. Women are more educated than man in nowdays and they know what their rights are.
@@lovelylovelyabunchlovely5053 he is a true Muslim
la belle province lmao ur dumb. Prophet Muhammad invented rights for women back when it never existed.
@la belle province how is your friend now!?
@la belle province oh my god you need to contact police asap..u need to protect her girl
Women or men who came up from narcissistic relationship/marriage should be celebrated, its hard to get out from that...im proud of you and i knw how hard and painful it is❤❤❤
Sigmul_ Goddess911 yeah sure it’s never easy. People should learn how long to make things work and when to leave or else depression will hit you.
True its hard
Mental abuse can leave a scar that lasts longer than physical abuse and it’s upsetting that people around you didn’t see that because of culture. Culture is honestly so toxic sometimes
Rocklyn Xa it’s sad...very sad
I was married to the same type of demon. Narcissist fool. I dropped him so fast! Got a Divorce and started my life over without stressed out bull crap. They are a poor excuse for a real man.
You’re literally the most gorgeous woman i’ve ever seen
She’s stunning.
Makeup does wonders
@La Risa De Limpiavidrios De Kim Seokjin Nope, she has fake eyelashes, blush, foundation, highlighter, and eyebrow enhancer.
@@disease30yearsago76 doesn’t pay to be a hater😝
Agreed. Very beautiful
Don’t mind the username, it’s just an alias. But in Islamic culture, notice I said Islamic culture and not Islam, I hate how we make excuses for our horrible parents at times. Yes I will respect and obey them but when they do wrong they should be held accountable.
Agreed
Most definitely
Yes I agree
I'm sorry but stating that it's Islamic culture, is still referring to Islam, when it's part of country /race cultures??
Simba rah Nope. Religion and Culture are two very separate things. I find that some reverts do not experience so much hardships than we Muslims at birth do. I noticed that since men like the idea of being superior to women they use religious blackmail to try to push women down. Same goes to how parents use religious blackmail to threaten their children. Their using Islam as their reference but they use it in a very twisted and evil way. Allah knows what they’re doing, and Allah knows best on what will happen to those who manipulate His words to oppress others.
She's so pretty, Mashallah. Why would anyone to treat her wrong? She's the literal definition of perfection 💘
@j n Treating people with respect regardless of what their face looks like is have good morals. You need to learn the meaning of the word 'morals', since all your comments show that you are lacking.
@@hsnrb9959 I agree with you!
@j n I think you are the guy who treated girls like this guys. You are is absolutely saying it!
Being pretty has nothing to do with it . I’m pretty but believe me Iv went though similar experience. It’s like they punish you for your looks as well. Terrible terrible people
j n kwaaakkkkkk thank you 😆😆😆😆, you are so sweet
Narcissistic abuse is the worse kind of abuse we can suffer.
This came across my feed so many times. And I finally said let’s see what she has to say. I’m glad I did. I’m so glad u did what u did sister . You deserve to be happy and found the love you deserve ❤️ may allah open the gates to happiness for both of you❤️
Me2
Me too
Exactly same here I just decided to click on.
The moment she realised her self worth , That gave her strength to first love her self and be happy , YOU ARE gorgeous A VERY STRONG WOMAN YOU ARE AN inspiration TO SO MANY WOMAN.
Please stop apologize anymore. It breaks my heart hearing you say that about your emotions. It's all valid by the fact you feel it. Thank you for sharing your story with us.
Well done for putting your story out there. In my experience of being both physically and emotionally abused, the emotional abuse was worst it took away every inch of love I had for myself. I am out the relationship now and have found someone that treats me like a queen. I am still learning to love myself again however, it is a struggle.
It take strong woman to share her story so many women go through this every day only strong one can walk away x
As I read your story my sister am praying my prayers to you and all women in Islam that's facing so strong situations everyday wallahi am so hurt in your story Allah will make you independent person someday my sister be patience dear and pray Allah will answer your prayers and your duas 😥
Men literally make me sick, I'm so happy you've found a good one sis 🙏❤️ I don't even know if there are any good guys left any more
Girl I was literally only 2 minutes into the actual story and I was like omg she's so brave and strong mashAllah I respect you smm all love
kiran Shah thank you so much girrrl!!! We are all strong together. Much respect and love to you too ❤️
😔
When she said that her ex husband didn't want her to socialise, i understand her and know what she means. I too live in Pakistan and let me tell you it is considered ideal for a wife here to stay at home at all times, meet less people as possible and do house chores all day long which is not bad if a woman wants it but if you want to build yourself up even just a little bit then it becomes impossible because they really don't want to change themselves the slightest when it comes to their wife but if a husband has a problem then the wife is expected to change herself and her routines and all. And the most sad part about this that all the girls here are raised with this mentality that you should do everything according to your husband and you shouldn't study so much because in the end you will be a house wife and believe me due to this MOST girls don't even try their best at studies because they know its no use and they believe it. In the end I would also like to point out to some great men who literally not only allowed but also helped their wife in their studies and bussiness because to see such men in a society like this it should be praised because even though majority is like this doesn't mean there are no good people like them and this kind of behaviour should be appreciated so that it can become normal as it should be.
Why has this been recommended after one year ??? Sis you made me cry 😭💓
OMG samee wth
It’s NOT OKAY NO MATTER WHAT MAN OR RELIGION TO TREAT A WOMAN LESS THAN THE BEAUTIFUL HUMAN BEING SHE IS! They DON’T VALUE THE MEANING OF A GOOD WIFE!!
Facts!!! But this has nothing to do with religion, I hope it's not culture too because that will be a horrible culture, I always saw cultures as something that makes as different and I love that but there are cultures and traditions that just need to stop. I feel so bad for this girl 😓
@@shahadshd5165 IT IS ABOUT THE RELIGION . QURAN 4:34 . WHERE THE BAD IDEAS COME FROM
wow, after everything you’ve been through you had the courage to explain everything to the public, such a strong woman, you deserve nothing but happiness and inshallah it lasts forever❤️
My husband is Muslim and I loved him so much, I was so loyal to him and never cheated on him. He destroyed my life also my love for him by cheating, lying and polygamy marriage only for sex with different women! When i found out i cry so much it was so horrible for me. He had many wives and still going after hoes for sex online! The women didn't know he was married so dont trust people just because they look good in you're face! My husbands family didn't know he had secret wives and girlfriends only for sex!!! I'm only warning you. (Please please please don't trust people online because their married with children) the other wives and girlfriends dont know he has other women. I'm blessed to find out the truth!ua-cam.com/video/43CVIG2c8rM/v-deo.html
Zainab Iqbal ameen thank you so much sis! ❤️
I was married to a narcissistic man for 23 years until I finally broke free. I sympathize with what you experienced and so glad you broke free and found a love you deserve.
"I'm tired of trying" I can relate to that. And you're so right about this- "mental and emotional abuse is the worst, some people won't get it"
I'm watching you for the first time btw and I can see you're such a strong soul ❤ giving all love and happiness! Tc x
A woman doesn't need a more stern reason to divorce, we have the same rights. Sisters, don't ever let men fool you! And i'm so happy that you got out of that situation, Alhamdoulillah ❤
The ending took me. I recommend everyone to watch this. Especially anyone who is going through a similar situation. You’re so strong and so beautiful.
I'm a Christian from Sri Lanka. I in a relationship with a man who emotionally abused me as well for 2 years. I know the pain you feel bcz he tricked me. We were in a relationship where are parents tried to stop us. And he gave me false hopes saying he will fight against his fam for me. And leave everything fir me. Towards the end of the 2 years he started withdrawing attention and love and I used to get down on my knees too and beg him to love me the way I loved him. But at the end instead of fighting with his fam for me he left me leaving me soo broken. At the end I found the grave to stand up with gods grace. I feel stronger and better. He would scold ne in filth and even shout at me for crying when I was hurt. He would even blackmail me if I went to end the relationship with him in the beginning. We all deserve better we deserve to be treated better. Regardless of religion, cast or gender. I'm soo proud of you and happy fir you. And I hope someday I too find the right guy who treats me with love and affection. Because I too am like you a hopeless romantic. Tc care love ❤
I’m Srilankan Christian too, just wanted to encourage you, I have been in a similar situation with my first boyfriend. He was a Christian narcissist and a charmer in the beginning, then he mentally abused me and cheated on me. I was very broken and society treated me badly after the break up. I met my amazing husband at church. We are happily married now for almost 13 years with two kids. He’s a real genuine Christian and so happy I have him in my life because life is so beautiful with him. Nothing but love, appreciation, kindness and encouragement from him, his mom is like that too. I thank God because now I appreciate what I have with him more.
Being a Pakistani I can tell its a story of every woman here..... 😢
What's wrong with your husband?
So why don’t you divorce him?? Aren’t you independent?
@live and let live as a south Asian I know the full problem here is mentality and culture. I am feeling sad to say but it is not right because even Wife of prophet Muhammad(PBUH) was encouraged to become independent. It is wrong to mix culture with religion 🙎🏽♀️. And whatever never give a fuck about what others think .
Yet some in the comments dare to claim it's not about the culture...
No not every woman. I am living proof. Actually my neighbours have amazing husbands they were born in Pakistan and Kashmir, who wash dishes AT HOME. and do fulltime job and spend money and time on their families. Not everyone from Pakistan/ abroad is here for VISA!. Trust your INSTINCS for your own self. Their marriages were arranged by family. They trust their instincts also. These days love marriage is also working out great. People using different approaches, asking right questions doing things the way they should. Using heart and mind. Educating themselves to know the signs red flags before marriage. Having a degree or No degree it doesn't matter because if your EGO gets in the way then one can reject a great proposal. Listen to your heart. Pray , ask Almighty God master of the unìverse for help- and signs just like i did - you must pray on the mat and spend time for walks because sixth sense gets high. and i saw an army from the other realm so I have my proof.
I‘m from germany and normally i don’t write a comment, but this video is so powerful and shows how emotional abuse is a thing in the society, especially for woman. Thats not okay and everyone has the right to left this situation.Also it shows that the islam and the culture are not the same thing, wich is important to know. The islam stands for a independent woman, who has the same rights as a man. A very good message from a amazing and powerful woman!
Helen thank you so much for your comment I really appreciate it! You’re absolutely right
Helen your amazing 🥺❤️
ne eigentlich nich, der islam sagt sogar wenn der mann geschlechtsverkehr haben will von der ehefrau, dann hat sie zu „gehorchen“ und das ist krank
@@kiyanawins glaub mir das tut der Islam nicht
Unbelievable how you as a german protect the Islam . You are sick!!!!
16:15 You shouldn't be okay with your man looking at other women, God doesn't like it and most women hate it.
Every woman hates it, the ones who don’t do anything about it is because there is no choice
She clearly wasn't okay with it why are u trying to blame her?
@@salma61171 she wasn’t she was backing her up
@@apl-h3q oh okay
"O ye who believe! Ye are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should ye treat them with harshness,..." (Quran 4:19)
There are other passages about raping and enslaving the women of the right hand. Are they not somebody's daughter, wife, child? How about permission to beat the disobedient wife? Do you know these passages? Saying I divorce you three times with a clap and keeping the kids? Also a Muslim woman can never refuse a man sex at any time. Common you know this. If not talk to your Iman.
@@carolinaleaman7918 hunny, you don't say something against a religion when you don't know shit about it....
@@stopcheckingmyusernamesimp4434 LOL
@@carolinaleaman7918 Periodt!
From Quran
What I like in your way of speaking is, every time you say that "I needed to be loved" , you added "I deserved it" and you're so right. Proud of you lady queen.
This girl is stunning and so well spoken. I'm happy you finally found your happiness!
I agree!
I felt every bit of this, I got divorced from a narcissist when my daughter was 5 months old. Seeing where you are now really gives me hope. May Allah help us all 🙏🏽
Ameen sum ameen ❤️
As salaamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh uhkti. The light in your face has returned. I had a similar situation and I too had to leave. Congratulations on having the strength to leave. I left too and I'm so much better for it. You're right mental abuse is so much worse than physical abuse. May Allah forgive your sins. Save you and your family from the torture of the grave and the torment of the hell fire. I pray that Allah blesses you abundantly always my sister.
A wise person once told me, marry a man who is in love with you, not who you love.
Edit: I mean that the man should love you as much as you love him
You should love him too of course
Ummmm both
omg you're so pretty, i swear when you laughed i fell in love.
@@18Ram lesbianism ? It was a harmless joke thank you. I’m straight
@@StephanieEze thnx - just being controversial
@@18Ram alright, it was a compliment she’s pretty
@@18Ram so what? Whats wrong with Being lesbian . Love is Love
@@miaaaaaaaaaa219 it’s wrong in Islam. Just letting you know. Not trynna argue with you. Just telling you.
Astagfurillah, that is mad, I would always give my wife the freedom she wants, I will always put her needs before mine. And if soemthing ain’t working, I will talk about it
In sha Allah!
The son of Queen keeps his wife as Queen. Great man.
Do they make copies of you?
Little Bunny 😭Sis😂💀
I am glad you are a 'better' men then the one described, but the fact that you say it this way, makes me doubt your judgement. It must be this way on default! Women, stop applauding for the things they are already supposed to do! You give them even more power this way.
You reminded me of a relationship I had when I was 16, mum taught me since a very young age to be independent and study more rather than a man.
But my first relationship experience unfortunately was with such an abusive partner, he oppressed me in all kind of ways you could imagine. He didn't want me to go see my friends, he didn't want me to go on a vacation with my family, he was making me feel like I'm the ugliest person in the world and all girls are prettier than me, he was nice at the beginning but he stopped complimenting me at all, just being toxic after he made sure that I shut everyone out to need only him.
He was making me cry myself to sleep, he was always distracting me with my studies and disappointing me that I won't go to a good college to give up studying. He was manipulative and humiliated me a lot, as I'm a bad Muslim and I'll go to hell for no damn reason, he told me a lot that I can't be successful in my life and I'll always be down, once he called me just to shout at me and telling me how bad I am and how I should obey him also for no reason. Though I did everything I could to make him at least appreciate me.
I was living this toxic life till he told me that he's going to read Al-Fatiha on some girl and he's going to marry her. I just decided to block him everywhere and never think of him again
Thank god, now I'm going to get engaged to someone who appreciates me and loves me a lot and I'm so happy rn
For all girls and boys who have abusive partners, just have patience and don't harm yourselves by staying with them