Homemakers: Where Can You Find Validation In An Anti Homemaking Culture
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- Опубліковано 3 жов 2024
- I'm Liyah, a 54 year old homemaker of 30 plus years. I'm a wife and blessed to be a mother of 4 sons. Over the years I have felt the struggles of being a homemaker in a culture that seems to look down upon this career for women. I've watched other homemakers struggle also, if their choice to answer the highest calling a woman can be given, why do so many others feel the need to invalidate this choice. Let's talk about it.......
I married in 1978 and have always been a traditional housewife. I was treated horribly by the feminist of the day, not to mention all the TV shows Like Maude, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, and All in the Family, that were pushing that a woman's worth was in her career. If I had a dime for every time one of those career women said to me that she wished she could stay at home and lay on the couch eating bonbons (as they presumed I was), I'd be rich. Funny thing is that almost all of those women have now reached retirement age, and they are for the most part divorced or their husbands are pretty useless. What did they expect after decades of complaining to them that they were useless and that they (the women) could get along fine without them? They now come to me for advice on how to do all the traditional things, like cooking, gardening and economizing. There's the Biblical way to live and there's the worlds. I'll choose God's way, the fount of all wisdom.
I remember in 1989 when I married at 18 and started my family.. I was told I was destroying my life…. That I should go to college and then think about a family. We had five children within five years and I don’t regret my choice ever…. Now years later I hear well when are you going to go to work?? For the life of me I don’t understand this… I’m still a homemaker and I love my life!
I'm the same age as you. Got married at 21 and I'm still married, and I was told the same thing. I'm very happy with my choice ❤
@@GillianBaldwin-de9nz I wish I could say I was still married to the father of my children but I am not. He walked out on us. I raised the kids by myself until god brought the man I’m married to. And he is a wonderful father figure to our grown children and our almost 7 grandchildren…
I too married young, before marrying my then fiance & I had talk about what we both wanted & hoped for . He had wished for me to stay home with our babies while he worked, 2 jobs at that time. I did this, as well as helped with my grandchildren. I was always around & available if & when needed. I am close to my grandchildren as they are to us, and I cherish the times for young ones grow so quickly. When someone asks me do I work, my response is I'm a jack of all trades, I'm a lawyer, Dr, nurse, domestic engineer, teacher, I make it clear that I run a tight ship,
With " Jesus " as my Boss. It
Usually gets them quiet.
@@vanessasimo5868 I have always ran a tight ship! Our home was known for every Friday night all the kids in the youth group would come over. I would make homemade pizza or oven baked sandwiches and popcorn.. we had a small farm so there was pigs, chickens, milk goats etc… I homeschooled the children and the youth group at church was their friends… I don’t regret the choices I made with my family… to this day they are all close and their families hang out together. Both of my boys are paid fire fighters. My three girls are amazing women. One stay at home homeschooling momma. One momma who is trying to help work while her hubby goes to school for pharmacy… and one who is working her way thru college to become a surgery technician… not married yet…
Oh gosh this is my life on a daily basis!! Unappreciated disrespected I could go on and on…. 😢 almost 30 years.
My life is a perfect example of both scenarios. I grew to adulthood in the early 80s. I was encouraged by our culture to have a career and yet my parents couldn't afford to send me to college so I put myself into every free high school office course that I could. I had my first baby in 1986. I worked while my child was taken care of by my mother. Thankfully, she insisted on that. In 1994, i quit my accounting job because after paying for daycare, my take-home pay came to $200 a month. By that time, I had two children. I stayed home with my two oldest daughters after that, and the third one came along in 1996. When people would ask me what I did and I'd say "I'm a stay-at-home mom." Their answer was ".....Oh." Their rudeness was pretty extreme. They weren't shaming me one but. I've often wondered if the feminist movement push for women to have lucrative careers, leaving their children to be raised by others was to generate more income tax money for the government. As i sat at a work lunch table out to here with my second daughter, the other three women I was eating with were all (and i mean all) lamenting that they couldn't be home with their children. One of them cried at that table more than once. Freedom to have a career? Yes, but shaming women who choose to stay home with their children is not acceptable in my book. While I can see the argument for women to have some job skills, as I had to fall back on when I eventually had to divorce my verbally and emotionally abusive husband, being a stay-at-home mom was one of the best decisions I've ever made in my life.
Completely agree Leah. Back in the 70's when my first two kids were born and one in early 80s, you were looked down upon if you stayed home with your kids and didnt work outside the home.
Absolutely right glad someone willing to stand up for an American homemaker!!!!!!!
Well I believe every person has to decide what are their goals. I was raised in a broken home. My mother was home until I was 7 and my parents divorced. My mother had NO working skills. She had to work at anything she could find. In the 60s if a woman divorced she was automatically in poverty. I was raised in poverty scraping for everything. I vowed that would not happen to me. I went to college and lived a middle class life. Never in poverty again. I tell every young woman get some type of training in case marriage doesn't work out or death. Many schools are 1 year training. My nephews wife has decided to stay at home. Their daughter is 6 years old. I told her if someone asks what she does to say she is a "domestic engineer ". That is their choice. I have discovered since retirement that I have no domestic skills. My idea of decorating is fly strips in the spring/summer. We are all different and that is what makes us strong.
I highly recommend a book called Domestic Tranquility by Carolyn Graglia published in the 1970's. It was written in response to The Feminine Mystique and the author, Graglia, attended law school at the same school and era as Ruth Bader Ginsburg. This is such an important book and not well known!
Homemaker is a very noble pursuit, thanks for sharing YAH bless !
Homemaking and homeschooling was the most fulfilling thing I have ever done in my life, and now that I'm 55 and the children are grown up, I find myself having to work part-time. Uhggg... I truly want to be back in the home doing what I feel God created me to do. Can you make a video addressing these later years after the children are grown? Maybe how I can earn the money we need in order to still be a homemaker and not work outside the home? I would love to do that again. When I'm at work and talk about the wonderful years I was home with my children, and how that was the best thing a woman could do for her family & God, some people scoff at me. They just can't see how important homemaking is. They are blind and only care about themselves.
Lea, this message so needed to be said. I like you lived through the persecution from radical feminists that I saw very radically in the 70s.
I remember a lady asking me what I did? I told her I was a mother and a homemaker. She repeated her question and I repeated my answer seeing she was confused. She then said, “yeah, but what’s your job?” I told her that IS my job.
Keep preaching this message. I heard there is a “re-traditionalization” going on in society, with an almost revival with many young people. Let’s hope and pray so.
Thank you for these great posts. So glad I found your channel
❤🙏As I listen to this I am painting our boys room White, because we have no electricity and their room is dark… I loathe painting but prior to starting I asked that God would give me perseverance and a heart to love what I am doing because just like you said, we do things for our family and that is part of being a homemaker.
Our goal in life as Christians is to glorify God in everything that we think, say and do and although I am 46, I feel like my heart and soul is so old and I was definitely born in the wrong year, lol! I feel like those who are older than me have either lived through the feminist movement or are definitely the biblical design for a homemaker but those are very very very far and few between and those below me are just getting into this “trad wife“ type mentality that you have discussed. Sometimes I feel very alone in this life when it comes to homemaking but one thing that has always encouraged me is God‘s word.
I was not a Christian when my husband and I got married until shortly after and when he said I did not need to work and I could stay home, and also homeschool it’s as if the heavens open up and were singing to me… What you said about having a husband who is an encouragement is so wonderful!
As a mother of two sons, and one daughter I wholeheartedly agree with you on raising sons. It has angered me as well this feminist movement and I just don’t understand why women don’t want a man to take care of them and love them so that they can come home to a beautiful home that has been designed by the queen of the castle, nurtured children and why even some Christian men don’t want to follow God‘s design for a woman at home. Thank you so so so much for this encouragement, I feel like videos, such as this need to be at the top of every Christian homemakers list…looking at beautiful videos and pictures of picture perfect homes is always nice. However, it’s not reality and every time I see one I have to laugh to myself and wonder if they have children number one and number two if indeed they do have children if their children are not allowed in those rooms, lol! Your videos are the actual kind of encouragement that I need so thank you again, dear sister! I’m looking forward to any questions and answers that you might give to all of us for responses. Blessings!💗💗💗
Agree, agree, agree!!! We are the same age. When my husband and I were married 26 years ago there was no validation or support to be had for me staying home and raising our two sons. Our families did not support us and the women in our then church were some of my worst critics. When we decided to homeschool everyone thought we had completely lost our minds. We were also low income and the opinions launched at us on that topic, especially when friends and family wanted us to participate in something out of our budget and we declined were horrible. Your channel has lifted me up and given me so much encouragement over the years. Thank you!
I think we've been 20 years now doing something similar, its the most valuable and important job, life career, path. Many people after retiring the job the hate, try to return to nature, but have no energy, and its rather a pale type of what they should have done when they were young but didn't have the moral compass to direct and motivate them. Time to move the cows fences tomorrow :) and finally finish making hay.
Feminism whichever version was always a controlled op to brainwash wifes/mothers/home makers out of the most important thing, and into the fake careers. Its funny most of the feminist leaders/influencers have a lot in common with who's running the media etc.
I completely agree...We have to do what we enjoy..and do the type of content that the Lord puts on our heart. Our mission is very different than most here on UA-cam. We found your Channel years ago..still enjoying your honesty and wisdom you share ❤👍
Thank you! You are right about the spiritual war going on. May God bless you and keep you ❤
I love homemaking videos Lea 💗
Thank you Leah…always a joy to watch your videos. ☺️💛
Thank you so much for sharing this! Full of encouragement and wisdom. I feel so incredibly blessed to be a homemaker and at 61, I wouldn't change a thing. God bless you Lea and looking forward to more videos❤
Keep it up Lea!! You are doing Gods work
You are so rite...Amen
I don’t know if this falls into the type of the questions for a Q and A but I was wondering how you handle “homemakers burnout”?
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