Feeling Your Life Makes No Difference
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- Опубліковано 26 сер 2018
- It might just be trying to see too much of the grand scheme of things.
Start by thanking the bus driver.
Video about being a Cog in the Machine: • Paradox of Individuality
Video about Your Purpose Being a Burden: • Your Purpose in Life i...
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Helen Keller said "I long to accomplish a great and noble task but, it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble".
Carly Babcock I’ve never heard this quote-it’s a great one.
That is truth for me. Beautiful quote. I love the Helen Keller and Anne Sullivan story!
That's beautiful, Carly ❤️
Exactly how I feel as a mom!
I love the breadth of your general knowledge and how that informs your ideas and opinions. You're an expansive, creative thinker who also has the gifts of articulation and relatability. This is a rare combination of qualities and explains the success you're having on UA-cam, and presages continued popularity. I'm at least 25 years your senior and you're not only wiser than me, but also far more able to cogently express your ideas than I have ever been. I'm sure I wouldn't be the first to call you an old soul. As I've said before, you're my favorite person on UA-cam these days, maybe ever. Also, in my decade or so watching UA-cam, this is the first time I've felt a kind of kinship with fellow-fans. It's a lovely community here, and that says a lot about you and what you're putting out into the universe. Anyway.... Sorry for being so verbose. I really just meant to say thank you and keep it up. :)
Jonathan, I am 61 and agree with you. It is so refreshing to find a group of people like this. I don't do social media and never thought I would find a place where I could find a sense of community (for me) on the internet! FJ has given many of us an outlet. And he is so adorably young and insighful. So are so many of the commentators. It seems the propaganda hasn't ruined everyone after all. Keep being frisky ponies! And Jonathan, you do sell yourself short (typical, right?). You are quite eloquent! Thank you for your words! 💟☮️🌎
Jonathan Locke I’m up there with you and Frank is one of my favorites, mostly ‘cause I like his name (Frank, Frank, Frank - great staccato sound!) but also because he’s entertaining in his wisdom. I like his quirkiness. I’m a steadfast INTJ who loves his kind of discussions, but only Frank shares info with humorous quirk. My fellow INTJs tend to be overly detailed, redundant and boring, Lord love ‘em. They seem to deeply desire to impart their old soul insights but mostly come off as old farts who don’t know when to stop. Frank sometimes get lost on a rabbit trail but it’s a fun trip and it’s loaded with insights in sound bites. Makes me wonder if he stays focused or if his mind wanders during his number crunching!
When you said, "let's stop for a commercial break," a UA-cam ad played.
I'm like, "how did he do that?"
you have changed the world at least mine tonight my PTSD was triggered and I had a panic attack and your voice and your videos calmed me down and I'm not crying anymore. so thank you. you're worth more than you know
This makes me think of your Perfection Paralysis video. It's the dreaded Ni-Fe loop, which for us feels more like a whirlwind. We want to swoop in and change the world with grand ideas of how it's going to happen. Then, when we implement our plans and what happens in reality doesn't match what we imagined, it's not just our ideas that seem inadequate but we as individuals. Now we feel worthless and spiral down to the bottom of the tunnel. Instead of thinking about one success, we focus on the collective failure. We failed to be perfect.
If we think back in our lives we should all be able to recall instances when someone let us know how we made a difference. It only takes a small raindrop to cause a large ripple.
Exactly!
I just turned 40 and I recall in my late 20s being plagued with the same concept: how, oh how, am I going to change the world?
My mantra since then has been "Do for one, what you wish you could do for the world".
Being the person I am, it started with humanitarian trips in South East Asia and partnering with global organisations to bring about change. At 32, I started a charity in my hometown to welcome refugees when my federal government was opposing them.
HOWEVER, these have not been the truest changes. The changes are truly being kind to other humans.
(Ha! You mentioned buses right at the end, and I've been drafting this periodically throughout your video. Enjoy the incoming anecdote.)
I recall being on a bus with a huge bunch of flowers, heading home from work. The older lady sitting next to me admired the flowers. She was on her way to the grocery store to purchase her disabled husband a birthday cake. How sweet is the love of 70yr olds 🥰 Anyhoo, my stop came, I wished her well in her venture and gave her the flowers. She was speechless, but her eyes said it all.
That's how you change the world around you. The small stuff. Being kind to people in lower-earning jobs, giving compliments to strangers as they pass you by, sowing goodness and being influential within your realms, educating others and setting good examples.
Next Sunday, I'm hosting an event for women on ex-say, orn-pay and asturbation-may... allowing a place for women to discuss taboo topics in order to shed guilt and shame around their bodies, hormones and desires. I cannot change the world, but I can do for this collection of women, what I wish I could do for every woman.
Our creative ventures come second to out day-to-day human interactions; but be encouraged, our communities need out creative ventures too! Our books, songs, poetry, paintings, photographs, stage productions: the world needs it all... and for various reasons!
Thank you for sharing. I find your musings simply brilliant.
I'll leave you with the tagline from my business: Lifestyle & Legacy. I hope you marinate in that awhile.
You have no idea how much I needed to hear this exact message today. It has been tremendously helpful to put things into perspective for me and the issues I have been struggling with to sort out in my mind.
LOL when you sang "We're all in this together!" I laughed but then I said, "But we are!" lol. Sometimes I love trite things...there I admit it. Loving these refreshed thoughts
Totally agree that it's as simple as thanking the bus driver (or whoever). Thanks for these videos, FJ!
I've also aways wanted to leave an impact on the world but I also hate being physically noticed by anyone because I'm a very private person and I think in order to make a difference you need to be vulnerable to the people you're trying to help
I believe in the ripple effect. I used to get overwhelmed by how to help the world as a whole, felt it was impossible (before internet)and I had a smart friend point out the only way to help was one person at a time who in turn would pass along their experience to others. So I make a point to do that with every person I meet (online and offline). I have seen changes in people when they have interacted with me and they have told me what I did to help them ( friends and enemies). It can be something as simple as a smile every day, showing them how important/ special they are, treating them with respect at all times, showing them what really matters and loving people unconditionally. Now granted its not always easy but I keep an eye on the big picture to remind me of why I do what I do. I like this quote as well... "Love says I'm everything, Wisdom says I am nothing. Between the two, my life flows." - Nisargadatta Marahaj
I thank the bus driver so I'm not completely useless. Yay.
I might not have a big purpose but I try to do small things that have some sort of impact on my friends life. I hold on to that when I feel like my life is meaningless.
Surprisingly, this video wasn't depressing to me. It gives a different perspective.
Your world is a big world even if it's technically small. :)
"Are you thanking the bus driver?" Amen!
I think you have made a big difference here. All these over thinkers have all found each other and been given space to write things that resonate. It’s my birthday today. I have pretty ongoing depression which I have had for most of my life. And often my birthday is a pretty depressing day as you reflect on where you are. Especially when you are two years away from fifty (how the hell did that happen?). But I got a lot of birthday wishes. There are a lot of people that care about me even if most of the time I feel worthless. And if I wasn’t here then people would miss me. And I think that is the impact many of us make. In the ties with those closest to us, not necessarily on a huge scale. As an aside I was halfway through this comment when the ad started and I couldn’t click away without losing my comment and now I am being lulled by Stephen Fry reading to me. It is incredibly relaxing.
Hey Frank, yeah haha. I'm reminded of my 20s I wanted to be part of a global change, so I went into activism. It felt off, though, not my calling it seemed. We never know the total consequences (positive or negative) of our actions, but we are able to observe some. I found it much satisfying to help others on an individual scale. With the internet, we can connect with another person anywhere in the world (more or less). We can help them with anything we are able to, and both parties are affected by the experience. I guess it's some type of paying it forward, but doing it for the sake of it being our purpose to help or wanting to help rather than paying it back.
Best regards!
Zee
I love doing this. :) Connecting people that I think would appreciate each other. Digital friend matchmaking. They are positively affected and have you to thank.
yes, the internet is certainly an incredible tool for touching others' lives. we have so much more ability to make a difference now!
Clearly you are attracting very intelligent people who want to confide in you.They trust you. Some of them love you. I mean, every day is valentines day right?😁 I represent another demographic; malnourished poseurs without many brain cells left (not after all that!😎) but who are pulled in simply by your warmth and who havent any idea what you're talking about but are glad you are here every day 💋😉👀🤘
Guilty. I look way too outward and don't pay attention to what's close to me. I'm too focused on the vastness of the universe and how small we are that I don't think about the people existing now. I've always had that nihilistic view, though. I think it's the media, etc., that has made me this way. Feeling like there's no point because on the daily they're saying we're doomed in one way or another. I mean I'm just waiting for a "BREAKING NEWS: Humans mean nothing" headline to come in and solidify it all since that's what they seem to be going towards. I like your perspective on it, though. Who knows, right? I hope the future brings a knowledge that saves this ultimate doom I feel. I know it won't be in my lifetime that any of this happens, but all in all it weighs on me.
I try to be as nice and as helpful as I can be. I try to make people smile. In a way, this feeling of meaninglessness sometimes is a relief to me if that makes sense? I used that feeling, that perspective with my breakup, that my feelings in the greater picture didn't matter really to the universe. Life goes on as they say. It helped me get over the pain in a weird way because I wasn't special. I'm sorry if my negativity on that one video influenced you. I was just coming out with how I've viewed a lot of things, but in even doing that I may have been a negative influence to be honest, which is really not what I want to do. I need to start thinking about how my words could affect others on here. My depressing views may make another person depressed, which isn't great and isn't helping anyone. If somebody feels purpose, I do not want to take that away from them by saying I view life this way.
This is sad, but in a lot of ways I wish I was blissfully ignorant. I just don't want to know some things, but my mind, once it learns something, just wants to take it all in, think about it 1000x more than is needed.
I love how you view it, though. The harmony. This is how being alone can skew someone's views. I'm all about the "I" when I should be about the "we." It helps out a lot.
no your comment was not a negative influence at all! in fact this video was in many ways inspired by it. ha ha, this is my motivational speech, all i needed was to fall on a table at the end.
i get what you mean about realizing what you feel doesn't matter in the grand scope of existence, how it is freeing. especially when it comes to things like difficult decisions or worrying about what direction your life will go. when you open up an obituary and see a 90 year old's life boiled down to 500 words (or even to read a biography of 1000 pages, how condensed it all is), it is kind of freeing to realize (after the initial depression) that the day to day crap we worry about is ultimately microscopic and not worth the emotional energy we spend on it. but we can't see anything really except for the day to day crap. we just have to accept that and trust that whomever summarizes our lives one day can figure it out and that they'll have something to write about.
very great summary of what I was attempting to express! thank ya
I love your analogies, especially with the notes. I love music and that “resonates” with me well lol.
When I have doubt, I like to remember the simple things that make a difference to me.
Like the gang of preschoolers led up the nature trail by a guardian that _always_ enthusiastically wave and yell "Hi Pepper!" to my dog while we're on our morning walk.
How could they know they're filling me with energy and joy?
And I always try to make them smile in return ("Hey, Superman" ...to kid wearing a superman shirt).
If we _know_ simple things, others did, made a big difference in our life, we can _try_ to do the same and be pretty confident we're making a difference.
Why make it more complicated than that?
We all want to have the biggest positive impact possible.
But, there is NOBODY named, "Biggest Possible Impact." (hopefully anyway)
For me, it's usually enough to hear a genuine "Thank you."
Or, even a friendly smile and "Hello" from a complete stranger.
You want to have the biggest impact possible, but tell me you wouldn't forget about that for a week, if ONE person said you saved their life with your video on depression.
Sorry, I have a rambling problem ;)
You do great work on here pal!
It's true that we can _technically_ never really know the impact that we have on the world.
In fact, that whole frame of mind is looking in the wrong direction (or at least taken its eyes off the road)
The impact we have is *Incomprehensible* (yes, with a capital "I") ...millions of factors across millions of people across millions of years, etc.
While we can't ever _know, _ we can certainly passionately believe. Or, in your words, "have faith".
And _technically_ we don't really know anything anyway - we just passionately believe we do.
...But that's another video ;)
Cheers homeslice!
(PS - still working on my new channel, because you made me laugh. It's just taking forever)
Aw man, we were just talking about this concept at my teacher orientation today. I wish I had listened to this video beforehand, so I could've busted out that tapestry metaphor and sounded quite erudite.
It's funny...I used to worry about this all the time. I had a hard time when I first started teaching (almost everyone does), and I felt like a dumbass who was actively ruining my kids' learning/lives every time I made a mistake. When I left that job, though, I was shocked at how many of the kids reached out to me and told me that I had had a positive impact on them, just by being an understanding and supportive person in their lives. I barely remember what I taught that year (other than an extremely poorly-received Animal Farm unit), but I still think about those kids every time I have a crappy day and start thinking that I'm not making a difference. Those human connections can be so powerful.
I hope you don't take this as me being weird, but I gotta say, your videos truly have sparked something in me. I started getting interested in MBTI/self-improvement stuff last winter, but it wasn't until I found your channel that the concepts started to really click. The way you deliver information in your videos reminds me so much of how I am when I teach -- there's that blend of humor and vulnerability that makes complex/abstract concepts more relatable. We're not exactly the same (see: me quitting guitar after two lessons), but it is crazy, after a lifetime of feeling like a freak who's really good at pretending to be normal, to see the ideas and thought processes of someone so similar to me. So thanks, man :)
it's not weird at all, I appreciate the comment.
You know after those students tell you the positive impact you had I imagine it lets you take some pressure off yourself trying to be perfect in the classroom.
Frank James It does! I laughed at myself way more the following year, and it improved every aspect of my teaching. It was incredibly cool to be able to create a space where my students felt comfortable trying new things and being their funny, weird selves. Plus, I got a lot more “you’re my favorite teacher ever”-type comments, and I secretly live for those. 😇
As I’m sure you can see from your comment section, being authentic and having a sense of humor puts people at ease!
So glad I'm not the only infj who bursts into song in my train of thought ❤
I used to think a lot like this (and still do occasionally, hard not to, really), but having read/listened a lot to such people as Alan Watts, Thich Nhat Hanh and Tolle, I’ve started to see “the world” as no longer something that’s “out there,” that’s this huge, vast thing that I can only ever make a small contribution to. WE are the world. Everyone is basically a miniaturized version of the universe. I think Thich Nhat Hanh said we have loads of different bodies beyond our one physical body. Spiritual Body, Community Body, Cosmos Body, stuff like that. My point is that I no longer view helping just one person as somehow less meaningful than helping many. Now, obviously such a thing IS more valuable when it comes to things like disease, sickness and all that, no doubt about it, but when it comes to just contributing positively to someone’s life, there LITERALLY isn’t a difference between doing so to one person or 100. We’re all one, really. One organism, like you said. So, whether you’re helping a few or many, you quite literally ARE changing the world for the better. And even by simply taking care of yourself, in all the ways that one can, you’re taking care of the world. Great video Frank! Sorry if I was rambling too much there.....🙂
You are so deep and contemplative! I love it!
I think, as a society, our greatest unhappiness and disappointment stems from our desire and sometimes perceived need to be grand.
I believe life was meant to be much more simple than we often times live it. Once we truly embrace this idea and let go of our grandiose notions of greatness and success... we can truly be content and even happy with what actually is.
Last week I posed the question on one of my social media accounts: what makes a person successful; what is the definition of success?
Nobody mentioned stature, money, goal attainment, or personal impact on the world or even their local community. Every single answer had to do with either love, kindness, or inner harmony on a small scale, personal level.
The most profound moments in life aren't achievements. They are the moments we often overlook while searching for something greater. Don't forget to just... be. That is our purpose.
That's my zen talk for the day.
Thank you Jessica! Thank you for wonderful message! No dogma! Just a lot of good karma! 💟☮️🌎
When a random UA-camr talking about the meaning of life spontaneously breaks into “We’re all in this together” - HSM
You know you’ve grown up with the same cultural references 😂
Good morning! My cat woke me up.
Yes - leaving the world a better place than when you found it. Whatever that means. I agree that people who are making conscious decisions probably *are* impacting their world in a positive way. Threads in a tapestry....yes, beautiful. I appreciate your harmony metaphor. :)
I agree with the remedy of starting small to get out of those kinds of crises. Look at the small ways you affect other people, or even animals and plants. Where is the potential harmony there? Sometimes you're just the clarinet player and you have no idea what the tuba's doing, but you can pretty well trust that the tuba will play its part. Oh no, I'm going to take it further, I can't stop myself.
As a person becomes more in tune with the world they start to learn when it's time to blend into the background and when it's time to bring out their part. When they should stand out, when it's time to blend in and when to step way back and let someone else take center stage. Where to look, where the crisis points are if someone gets lost.
Duh, life is chamber music.
oh man I love extended metaphors! The part about being in tune sounds like a whole topic for another video.
@@FrankJames Ooh, maybe I'll make that video too.
Hello Stephanie. What a beautiful metaphor ❤️🎶🎼 I think in terms of being in or out of tune too - I know when my behaviour is positive or 'right', I know when a piece of artwork is complete because it 'clicks' into place. (I often talk in terms of the composition becoming balanced or in tune with itself.) That essential sense of harmony (or desire for it) runs through every part of life for me. Even language can feel in or out of tune.
I don't feel the need to make a heroic impact on the world - that isn't in my nature. My aim is more modest. I'd just love my interactions with people to be kind and constructive and to care for the people, plants, animals and things in my life as well as possible. Essentially to be a thoughtful caretaker, I think...
You're so right Georgina. It's the best when all people, pieces of the puzzle, in full awareness, snap together to form the whole. Or a composition. Or a poem, or song, or bedroom wall. This is why arts education is necessary - so we can understand what brings us into harmony with our surroundings.
Yes tmari vat sachi ha 11vkht levu ne mhine hisab jovo tmari vat sachhi ha sop mate video brabr 6 pachhi ttmne any update kar lage jo maro C.
. A. 6 dhna vars thya6 to you thi vichar la apleay karjo mne su lhbr pde ok name thokho deso nme je bijnes ma thtu hoy tem aek samate je bijnes karta tene 1vars nhi 100va puchvu
Hey, Frank.
This reminds me of the podcast episode where you talked focusing on where you are at the moment rather than the finished product.
If a person's end goal is to make the world a better place, they have to start from where they are in life. Thank the bus driver and build from there.
I do think it's the most realistic approach for any of us outside of Clint Eastwood & co. Some seriously beautiful things can result from patiently working at a goal.
Along with our actions, I think being mindful of what we say about ourselves and about others is important. We should aim to avoid the lies we tell ourselves and speak up when our peers are in need of kind words.
So many people simply crave acknowledgement. If someone has felt invisible or forgettable for most of their life, a simple acknowledgement of their existence can stick with them. It can motivate them and act as the encouragement they may have been missing. ☺
it's very true, so many people just want to feel like they exist to everyone around them!
I had a really bad day today. 😢😭There's a full moon and my family were all freaking out on me. The more I tried to help them the madder they got at me until I blew my stack! Sheesh...Now I feel guilty for blowing up at them. I just want to say I needed your wisdom and you helped me get recentered. Thanks Frank.😊
I'm late today and can see that several people have already expressed very elegantly the essence of what I wanted to say (that small scale, positive personal impact is a noble thing to aim for). I think that it's wonderful that your mind and voice can impact 23,000 people each day. That's remarkable and a pretty epic scale! You know how huge the positive impact your videos have had in my life and I'm sure that is true for many of your subscribers. The lovely people in this comment section have also had an incredibly positive direct effect on my life. All of that is pretty much the human-to-human level of influence/goodness/helpfulness which may seem modest yet (to me) can have a profound impact ❤️
Personally, I don't feel the need/ambition to solve huge problems, maybe simply because I don't feel that I'm capable of it? But I do value the impact my words/presence/actions can have on any fellow creature that I interact with. That truly is enough for me and I am happy to dedicate time and thought to improving my presence in any way that I can ✨❤️🙂
Kindness goes a longggggg way
First discovering who the HEAD of the body is will determine whose BODY you are in and whose PURPOSE you collectively serve. A great thought provoking Vlog as always FJ
Man I was just watching for the funny videos but watching your thought process is like looking in the mirror. Back in my stoner days people loved getting me stoned so they could watch me think out loud 😊. The older I get find it harder to get out of my own head and just move.
Cog in the machine. I know this feeling.
I didn't think this was depressing. It was actually quite uplifting - just keep playing your own note, and the orchestra (big picture) will come together naturally as your note and others come together.
As an ENFJ I actually thank the bus driver. 😂 My ISTP boyfriend always laughs when I enter/leave a shop and I say hello/goodbye to the security person by the door. He asks me why do you bother? And I am like: hey, they are people too. A smile and a greeting can make their day. I know that a lot of people totally ignore them and it just makes me sad.
As INFJs, I think we should use our ni to see how the SE observations we make in the world become our opportunity to make a difference for the big picture, future Vision we have. I would say that's a call for us to develop our SE. We want so much to make a difference and help others, but we need to be able to seeing the needs of others in the moment and in real time.
I'm one of those ppl who feels like I'm just existing. I want to do something meaningful and strong, but there's sooooo much out there that needs fixed or changed it's hard to focus on any one thing that is "the most important"
Lol you helped me in my existential crisis when youtube sent your video my way. Thanks for sharing your thoughts I really identify with it. And realizing other infjs also have that helps me feel understood. I agree we will never know just how much our little helpful actions will add upto in the end.
The ripple effect yep😊
You've made a difference in my life . For real! Thank you 😘
The metaphors in this were too fricken beautiful - the threads and the notes - beautiful. Lovely, interesting, and liked the take away too, because small actions really can have such large positive effects. I do often fall into that thinking of how big and unreachable everything is, this was a good reminder to make things small again, because that's all individually we're capable of anyway, and yet we can use it to make big differences in the lives of other individuals if we try.
I think that time is the thing that makes this whole big picture process so trixy. When we zoom out we are removing ourselves from the concept of time to observe it. It's amazing to be able to have this ability- almost like a superpower. When you are flitting to this timeless place in your mind, it is one thing to observe and bring back information, but another to set up camp. When our goals are made with this larger vision approach, we can create a lot of unhappiness in our present moment that is inescapably bound to the movement of time. In my learning process I'm finding myself in a space where I am being encouraged to pay deeper attention to my present moment and build some new habit patterns when it comes to my temporal existence. I have a feeling that eventually it will mean that I can strike some form of balance between the two. Time will tell...
Thank you for your time and effort, FJ.
"the thing that makes you happiest might mislead you"
Sid Gupta that's a fear of mines
So many great analogies in this video. Thank you it stimulates so many thoughts this morning. I wish I could put words to them but they're just not coming yet. :-)
This video needs a love button. That was so insightful and very needed by my heart and mind this week. Thanks Professor FJ!
Hi Frank!
Your channel found me three days ago.
I am not sure whether I am an INFJ (or an INFP - test says the latter, though. But our mind's a trixter when "answering honestly". So I am sort of quizzical about it?!)
I am not even sure whether I want to be categorizied and labelled?
No matter what - listening to your videos and podcasts and reading the comments of your very vivid, agile community already provoked minor quantum leaps, mindwise.
Your being bold, witty and funny about being insecure, questioning and diving deep is reassurring and very supportive - mentally and spiritually!
Searching innermost wisdom and spirit in everyday trivia...
I am not "the world"... but so much for your impact on whom- or whatever... ;)) !!
Thus, my deeply felt gratitude and respect to you and your work.
Please keep on sharing your thoughts via whatever medium suits you - you are a gift!!!
PS: Thx to all you commenting people, too. Your "collateral" dialogue is inspiring!
I second everything you wrote Sibylle Elfers, even the part about being confused about your type. I just discovered Frank and his "commenting people," too. Thank you, Sibylle Elfers for expressing what I wanted to comment, better than I could myself.
Thank you, Frank! Thank you, "commenting people! Thank you, Sibylle Elfers!
You may not have known what you were talking about, but I understood and this helped me.
Thank you for this
Hi friend... Great video today. You are touching lives one day at a time. One video at a time.
Also remember even in tragedy there is purpose. A friend of mine was killed in a motorcycle crash. His lifeless body lay barely breathing.. He touched countless lives who stopped to save him, pray for him, and even those onlookers will never be the same.. I believe he fulfilled his purpose. He knew the Lord, it's not sad, God used his life until the end to reach other people's lives that may be changed forever. We all matter. Even if one life decided to seek God. His lifeless body may have saved countless other lives.
Thank you FJ..
I feel sad for those who grieve and are grieving. I know he is home. He lives.. He is blessed.
That was a beautiful picture, the tapestry.
This helped me get out of bed today
Thank you so much for this video . 🙏
Well...you made me cry. I guess I needed to hear this. Big picture thinking plus existential crisis is a great way to put it. Thanks
We are mostly unaware of the impact we make on other people, so we can only guess, and we may be underestimating it, leaving ourselves feeling like we don't matter much.
Leaving the world in a better condition than when we found it. It may would even happen without having to do anything ourselves, but for me in particular would be very important to know I did my best to make it. It's hard when you're feeling like you can't make a difference, doubting your abilities, and all the problems coming to your way seem to be huge hurdles you'll never be able to get over, so you don't even feel like starting.
I even told my parents once that I don't think raising me was such a great adventure that they would regret missing out on it. The response I got: "You're stupid." Truth is, I think I've never been and didn't turn out to be a great, good or special person by any means. It feels unreal that someone would have strong emotions towards me.
it seems like sometimes the path to making a difference in the world starts of with something that feels a lot like treading water. and you know with parents, they can do a lot to mess you up in life but they also can be the first ones to help you see that you are special. of course we don't believe them because they kinda have to say that, but they can see it before anyone else I think.
I needed this today. Thank you. (Look at that! You impacted my day in a positive way!☺️ G’job)
Frank, this was your best and most profound video yet! Thank you. Everything you said was on point, and the music analogy was gold! Well done, Sir, well done.💞
Of course I thank the bus driver :P Not only do I thank him, but sometimes when it's late at night and there are only a few people on the bus, I spend the entire trip chatting with him. It's not always me who initiates the conversation; most of the time it's him who starts talking to me and, unless I'm really tired and have no energy left in me, I reciprocate and the conversation drags on until I reach my stop. I gotta say, it makes for quite an enjoyable ride.
Many a time that thought has crossed my mind that perhaps it is too much and that I'll never be capable of achieving the goals I've set for myself. It is somewhat depressing to think of it in this way. To be honest, I find it difficult to think of it in any other way, but I know I need to start doing it; I know getting caught up in dwelling on what can't be won't get me anywhere. I like what you said about the notes of music and how they create harmony when they are played together. It's a beautiful analogy. I need to change my way of thinking so that it conforms to the notion that being a part of something bigger than myself doesn't necessarily mean making a huge impact on the world, and that by touching and making a difference in the lives of those around me, I'm contributing to making the world a better place. I want to create this harmony, this resonance; I want to feel it. I want to touch other threads. You're doing that to me, you know that, right? I hope you do :)
... "Bathed in the ghostly pale moonlight"... So poetically sensuous and evocative... It caresses the ear and conjures up such vivid images. I love it ;)
Yes. Good message.
I know this is older, but I can 100% promise YOU have made a very large impact on people. You were able to pull me out of a scary place, and if you can save my life so quickly, I know you have saved many. Thank you for existing.
Good word for a Monday...even in relation to "the word" for spiritual reference. Yes, faith in action is an ongoing pursuit for each individual within the larger context of the body..and an attitude of gratitude combined with humility before your fellow man can make all the difference.
Excellent talk. It's about finding a balance between large picture goals - which motivate us - while breathing and living one day at a time - very important for our mental health 🙏🏽❤️ Lighten the load 🙏🏽❤️
You really give me good things to think about. Thanks .
I’ve recently found you & have been thoroughly enjoying your wit & vocabulary; however, this is next level! It’s nice to hear someone verbalizing my mental meanderings. I approve this message! 😃
I agree. We should strive to be the best we can be and help others to do their best. It basically sums up parenting.
You are making a difference. Certainly in my life.
Everything that was said in this video truly resonates with me. Being a light in the world - giving those around us a piece of our heart (rather than a piece of our mind) through sharing the love, joy, peace, or positivity that we hold there.... that, to me is incredibly fulfilling and meaningful . To give and to receive in this way ...
Very wise, truly. I appreciate that you frame it in the larger picture, even though at the end you are saying not to focus too much on the larger picture, but I think the not-helpful bigger picture is actually the fallacy of having a certain kind of bigger picture, one that is very culturally influenced. It’s capturing that problem with the narratives of heroism and self-worth in our culture - these narrative focus on one or a few significant individuals in some single linear narrative that then ends when the book or movie ends - but what happens after the fact? And what about all the other stories that were happening but were ignored in that main story? No, we are not important in that single hero kind of ego narrative - but instead the universe is comprised of many simultaneous and crossing paths, and how amazing that we get to be one of those paths, a beautiful note in the grand symphony. Perhaps simply existing really is something. Beyond that, yes, we can make meanings with our lives based on what we think is worthwhile to do - whether it is being nice to the bus driver or studying how to reduce the negative effects of our consumer behavior on people and life forms we never see. But recognizing that our lives aren’t simply about us as individuals but about how we dance along with the rest of the web of life - it is this kind of perspective that people like political ecologists are arguing is absolutely necessary if we are to solve the social-environmental catastrophe we are creating. This is actually the stuff I’m currently reading about - a conversation largely captured around the term “Capitalocene”
That was so beautiful! Specially the music metaphor.
You talk so good here FJ! I like the atmosphere from your videos yesterday and today. Some serious thoughts but they leave me with a smile on my face.
Wanting to make the world a better place, that is the ancient battle of good vs. bad that we INFJs usually dedicate our lifes to. This battle will never be settled but it fulfills us with a great sense of purpose knowing we have played a great part for team >good
I could listen to these kind of videos all day! :) happiness! I don’t talk to my family anymore because of how dysfunctional it is. One of the smaller details is how materialistic my brother and sister in law are; to the point they ask for loans from our parents. We all get in binds, but the point is their need for more; what they have is never enough; if evolves with what society’s latest standard says. I haven’t seen any of my family in a year but I seen one of my nephews at my second job this weekend. He ran over and gave me a hug then filled me in on how everyone is doing. I was and still am sad to hear my oldest nephew changed and started believing the lie that possessions equals happiness. I think that is one of the reasons I was given such a hard time, because I don’t have a lot and I was and am happy. I wondered if I had been there, would he have changed?In the end I think that he would, because it is his parents that are telling him this is how his life should be. I hate that part of change.
Hey FJ. I like the body analogy you mentioned. An ear is not trying to be an eye or a nose. It is so easy to forget that we are wonderfully made and whatever we do IS grand from some vantage point and part of a bigger whole.
I keep focused on the understanding that I am a puzzle piece and as long as I am uniquely me I am helping the engine of life. As long as what I do comes from an authentic place (with no intent of causing harm) that is good enough.
I can totally relate. I was thinking earlier about how I'm 37, didn't finish college, not even working right now, not married, no kids. Like it's time to freeking get excited about my life! At least this makes lots of room for goals and for hope.
Thank you for this video. I laughed so hard (internally?) when I started watching your vidoes cause it somewhat confirmed to me that MBTI is bonafide. I feel like I'm listening to myself talking, but as a man. Encouraging myself rather than paralyzing myself between torturous guilty hyperanalysis, data hoarding and semibeneficent megalomania.
The last comment on big picture thinking during an existential crisis is ACCURATE af.
Thank you, I needed to hear that, I was going in a dark place because of a mistake I made, always start thinking I’m a lost cause but maybe all is not lost.
You make me smile. You made a difference!
I really love your music analogy! Maybe taking it a different way each of us are composers of a symphony that is written one note at a time and seems ad continuum at the moment of composition but when played together at the end of our lives is a complex melody. What we perceive as diminuendos, the times when we're stuck in a rut, might be to the listener the most moving part of the piece. I'm so happy to have found your channel, your perspective on things is fascinating!!
thanks very much :)
Thank you kindly ✍️
Thank you for your help and support!
Frank James, I just wanna say, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for the videos you share with us! It makes the difference for me, I watch all of them and I see that I am not alone in this INFJ universe. Thank you so much!
YEAH, VERY HELPFUL. ALWAYS ! THANKS !
In my opinion everything you said is the truth. And you ARE making the difference, for what it's worth.
Thank you
I think most people on their own can't make a huge difference to the world, but helping people each day in a small way increases in time as they pass it on to their family and friends, and so on. That can be a big enough difference in the end, or in future time. With love from Jan the infj
Man you are awesome !
This is so helpful thank you
I just had a conversation with a colleague on leaving a legacy behind. While he went on to share what his aspiration is, he began to ask me about mine. I said it was uncomfortable for me to share. I didn’t want to get ahead of myself because I was afraid I’d be “discovered” that my current state is not aligned with my vision. We fear that judgment. And I fear that by feeling that negativity or doubt would cause me to question myself. I love me. I can’t risk obsessing one person’s comment. Although, it’s a question to post every morning. It’s like we’re doing our best to live intentionally - one day at a time, in the hopes of whatever we’re doing today would make a difference in the future or in another person’s life.
yep..at least for now...you are helping us..a Lot...and that aint a bad thing is it?... Ya, i always say thank you to..everyone..who does anything at all for me & the rest of humanity, no matter how small..and..i smile..at strangers..they usually smile back...ya just never know..when that small thing might make a Big difference....practice random acts of kindness...and senseless acts of beauty
As a somewhat older(57) INFJ and parent I struggle mightily with where humanity is letting itself being dragged (climate change, divisiveness, inequality, profit before people, etc.)
For the past 15 years I've been trying to write a book about where America is now and how we got here - and that it was not the natural evolution of our Democracy. Not an easy book to write. I've tried letters to my local paper. Maybe I'll try a blog. I don't know.
I have this fantasy that all INFJs getting together and figuring out how to convince humanity to wake up and take part correct our course.
As a side note - I was identified as INFJ about 25 years ago and gave it zero thought other than it confirming that I was shy and that I totally kicked a$$ when it came to reading people. Within the past year I had a flashback to when I was told I was the rarest personality type. So I looked into it and holy crap do I ever wish I did earlier. It explains why I struggle with things that no one cares about. It explains why my job seems like such a bad fit for me. It explains why I can't say no. I always assumed people were in the same hell as me and now it bothers me that so few are. Everyone should learn their type early in life!!
I totally understand what you are saying.
I once read a wonderful analogy of the limitations our present perspective imposes on us. The message was that in the ongoing process of creation-our creation and the creation of all that surrounds us-our heavenly parents are preparing a lovely tapestry with exquisite colors and patterns and hues. They are doing so lovingly and carefully and masterfully. And each of us is playing a part-our part-in the creation of that magnificent, eternal piece of art.
But in doing so we have to remember that it is very difficult for us to assess our own contributions accurately. We see the rich burgundy of a neighboring thread and think, “That’s the color I want to be.” Then we admire yet another’s soft, restful blue or beige and think, “No, those are better colors than mine.” But in all of this we don’t see our work the way God sees it, nor do we realize that others are wishing they had our color or position or texture in the tapestry-even as we are longing for theirs.
Perhaps most important of all to remember is that through most of the creative period we are confined to the limited view of the underside of the tapestry where things can seem particularly jumbled and muddled and unclear. If nothing really makes very much sense from that point of view, it is because we are still in process and unfinished. But our heavenly parents have the view from the top, and one day we will know what they know-that every part of the artistic whole is equal in importance and balance and beauty. They know our purpose and potential, and they have given us the perfect chance to make the perfect contribution in this divine design.
-Patricia T Holland
Good talk / ox .. I see how I feel insignificant every time I get on some newsfeed that discusses a topic from the perspective of demography or percents - it seems news stories speak more & more from this grand scale perspective., I see how it can have an IMMEDIATE negative effect on a person’s neuropsychology 🤹🏻♀️ ~ I am working on being a local / focal point of wellness, kindness, happiness, satisfaction, & peace. ~ When I was a kid I wanted to be a nurse, then a police officer, a helicopter rescue/ operator in VIETNAM, a coast guard, .. can you see the trend ? I kept going away from my local self, and want to be a SUPERHERO.. 💫 I recently decided to move to a 3rd world country & help the impoverished villagers ... .And then something clicked .. I realized I wanted what I felt was missing in my life < projection of inner yearnings onto the outer world ... And that shut down the projection room for me.. right there.. I am currently working on being satisfied with being a little person walking around in my neighborhood, and calmly interacting with people & situations that come up.. as they come up .. of course .. all day long, the statistics will continue to pour in.. I have to let those go.. I can only see myself as a single person, not part of s CLUMPED DEMOGRAPHY .. and there is a beauty to that 🌱
thank you for sharing that, BarbaraMerry :)
George Bailey is definitely INFJ...and you referencing him makes you my hero. Best. Film. Ever.
im an INFJ myself and I love watching your videos. I absolutely love your sense of humour. You can really make my ass laugh off :D
Hi Frank! This has been on my mind a lot lately. To me (speaking from my own experiences and reflections) it seems like maybe a large part of feeling like this comes from pride. Of course this isn’t always a bad thing, in fact I feel like pride is a tool we can use to fuel our endeavors, but people like me tend to get lost in that. This could lead to us feeling lost, worthless or with no purpose. I, for one, have become lost in my personal pursuit of wanting to help my own Native American people through the realm of education, yet I still don’t know how I’m going to do that. I’ve looked into different professions, like teaching and school counseling, but none have really resonated with me. This led me to feeling lost and without purpose. My pride took a huge hit and I feel like I cannot help others if I don’t get my sh*t together to do it. It’s a fun merry-go-round of thinking that fuels my growing depression. (Whoops don’t mean to go all dark on that one...) Still, as overwhelming as it may feel to me, I have to admit that my pride is what helps me to keep searching and working towards that goal. Because I honestly imagine myself being honored or congratulated (not in a huge way, but like through a nice handshake or something) for making a huge impact on education for Native Americans. Yeah it’s selfish, but that’s what keeps me going...
yes, having that huge goal can make you feel stuck--how will you ever reach it? it is good that you keep going, because it is the small steps that will get you to a big goal
A. Calamity Hi I read your post and thought of myself. I know your situation is differant as you obviously know your heritage and that's great.
For years my dad knew we had native ancestry but when he'd ask questions, he'd hit a brick wall. His grandparents spoke fluent Ojiibwa but even they wouldn't answer many questions as to why. It seemed a colonial system had put them into a great deal of fear about speaking the truth about our roots.
So a few years ago I went on a quest of my own for answers. Lots of digging and research. For my dad and for me too.
Long story short, we are the direct descendants of the Drummond Island voyages Métis - a major Métis settlement in Canada. I later had our family lines confirmed by Ottawa.
I felt angered that out history was swept under the rug so long.
My dad grew up in northern Ontario and ways had a real heart for native peoples. I grew up hearing stories of the north.
A series of events over four years led me here.
May I humbly suggest looking into community social and economic development. I'm here in the north now retraining for that.
My program has a specific focus on northern, remote and indigenous communities.
This profession can make a real impact on people's lives on a grassroots level.
Maybe also Google Adrian Sutherland. He's been a huge inspiration to me and I was priveledged enough to meet him a few months ago and thank him for his influence in my life. Sorry for my long post.
Me.... So very me at this very moment. Ty💕
I know it's a year later, but this is so on point for me. I'm so there. I fervently feed my ultimate passion in life, but I don't know why because it's something no one has explored yet. Some days it gets to me and I feel like a loser doing some dumb shit. Most times, I just indulge in my passion when I "unplug from the Matrix" and I can be myself. I make myself set aside time to do at least one thing towards making my passion.
Maybe I'm not meant to know my purpose yet. Maybe I'd mess it up if I knew it. That's very likely. Maybe I'm walking in my purpose and I just don't see the impact. It's exhausting and depressing when I think about it, so I try not to. I just try to keep my head down and just keep doing what I'm doing.
Hitting me where I live, man. Very affirming, to hear externally the thing I hear internally. As I wrote this, it is the day of Kobe Bryant's death. I only mention that because, well, it feels right. A thread has been pulled, and, already it is evident even that thread was connected in more ways than was superficially evident.
Big differences happen one person, one small act at a time- starting with yourself. Macrocosm and microcosm are One. Re The Body: "If thine Eye be single, the Whole Body will be full of Light", and in regards to The Heart there is some other quote i can't quite recall right now that goes something like, "Love is the ability to hold one long sustained note while the rest of the orchestra/ singers are playing moving parts". Re the harmony: "Where two or more are gathered in my name [Love] I AM in the midst of them" (Vesica Pisces in Sacred Geometry). Re tapestry threads: "Mom, Frank's thread is touching mine!" ha! ha! :)
Yay! Scattershot!! 🖖🏼
But seriously... great video Frank. Stay dry and whimsical 😉
Splendid. Thanking the buss driver! That's an excellent thing to do! I do it every time, even when the bussdriver makes a mistake and forgets to stop at the little busstop where I hop off when going home. It's a simple but nice thing to do.
Living a life seems just to be something we need to learn to do. From my lovely Swedish teacher soulmate I learned that even if we could not change the physical world, we can change someone's inner world. She changed mine to be more beautiful and I am very grateful for that. Haven't you, FJ, made a difference by creating those videos? You are inspiring quite many of us, so congratulations! An INFJ's inner world is a quite big area, don't you think? (These rhetorical questions, by the way. My style is weird today. It seems that the book has made me speak like a posh gentleman.)
ha ha the book is rubbing off on you, huh?
Yess... happens pretty often with books. What I'm reading influences my writing :)