7 Reasons You Sabotage Your Relationships by Lise Leblanc
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- Опубліковано 8 чер 2024
- Do you constantly mess up the good things that happen in your life, including and especially your relationships? If you feel like you’re always at war with yourself, fighting your own brain and nervous system… maybe to the point where you feel like you are your own worst enemy, then this video is for you. I’m talking about 10 ways and reasons for self-sabotage, as well as 3 key ways to overcome shame and self-sabotaging patterns.
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About Lise Leblanc
Lise Leblanc is a Therapist, Life Coach Practitioner, and Author with over 20 years of experience in therapeutic, educational, and leadership roles.
For information about private consultations, please visit my website:
liseleblanc.ca/products/coaching
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DISCLAIMER: THE INFORMATION IN THIS VIDEO IS NOT INTENDED NOR IMPLIED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL ADVICE, DIAGNOSIS OR TREATMENT. Lise Leblanc does not provide personalized psychological, health, or legal advice. Any information or responses provided on UA-cam are general and hypothetical, not individualized. This content is for informational purposes only and viewers should verify primary sources and/or seek professional services. Narratives about clients are heavily modified to protect their identities, using blurred details to teach and reassure without revealing private information about individuals.
If you have thoughts about harming yourself, get help right away by taking one of these actions:
Call 911 or your local emergency number immediately.
Call a suicide hotline number. In the U.S., call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) In Canada: 1.833.456.4566
Call your mental health provider, doctor or other health care provider.
Reach out to a loved one, trusted friend.
DISCLAIMER: THIS IS FOR INFORMATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR MENTAL HEALTH CARE.
Introduction (0:00)
How You May be Sabotaging Relationships (0:52)
The Shame-Cycle (2:25)
Where does the Shame come from? (7:07)
7 Reasons for Self-Sabotage (8:32)
3 Tips to Deal with the Shame (12:34)
#NPD #covertnarcissist #narcissism #narcissist #borderline
I'm diagnosed with Borderline personality disorder. I'm a quiet borderline so this negative talk is in my head constantly. You're videos helped me to seek therapy and a psychiatrist and it's going well. Thank you Lise!
thank you for doing the work! It's hard to admit when you need help, you're doing something great for yourself and others! keep it up!
EMDR. Saved my life. 10 sessions at the end of 2023 completely turned me around. I wouldn't have believed it possible if I hadn't tried it. I was blessed with a profound experience of integration with my traumatised childhood self. Strongly, strongly recommended to my fellow survivors here.
Dear, what is EMDR please?
@@LaurentOliveri Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing therapy.
@@jusbe47 🙏
Wow. Pretty harsh, but very honest. You are very good at what you do.............
I recognize the patterns, and why I do them, but I don’t change. I also recognize myself in much of your list of reasons why people in this situation don’t change
You were amazing on OurEverydayLives...... The parental alienation segment was exactly what I needed to hear. Ahh clarity ❤ Thanks for your great work time to check it all out.
I feel like this, was also made to believe I was the reason even though my ex would blow up and belittle me and ignore me till she wanted to talk or say something.
I didnt leave her, cheat or pick fights to escalade. Idk what i went through but it hurt deep
I am SHOCKED at how precise you are. If I didn’t know any better, I would swear you had access to my thoughts
what you said resonates with Me in a huge way
Thank you for shining your light on these things I have been struggling with. And when it’s happening it’s Often in a way that I am not even aware of.
That inner voice is going to STFU soon
Or at the minimum change it’s tune!
Makes me think of what Julia Cameron describes in The Artists Way as the critic
Good stuff and need opportunity for solid self reflection
Thank you
Thanks, my voice of shame got some new pointers...
😂
Great video - really speaks to me - especially abandonment/rejection and self-sabotage as a means of maintaining control.
Thanks for all the hard work and effort Lise. God bless 🙏
Your tone of voice and how you deliver your content is super calming for me, actually I've used your content to help me relax and sleep thank you Lise ❤
Thank you! You might enjoy this sleep meditation:
Deep Sleep
ua-cam.com/video/lNvKMflLbmM/v-deo.html
@LiseLeblanc Thank you I'll give it a try🙂
Thank you so much 🙏🦋
Thanks a lot! I appreciate your help so much!
TY intensely helpful...I will try these directives.
Thank you for this.
Very good content, I find it helpful. 🙏
That's for your hard work. All these videos are hard to listen to but I'll try watch them sometime
Thanks!
What a pro !!
I know this voice of shame very good. As an autistic (level 1) child in '80 in eastern block, I got my fair share of abuse, so my shame voice has lot to feed on.
I am an atheist, but I started to treat this voice as a voice of satan. You do not discuss with it, do not pay atention to it, do not nagotiate. It evil and it wants your harm.
That was my way up untill now, but after seeing this video, I hopefully will develop some alternative strategies.
Excellent!
Great video very well done you're good at saying the right words... ❤
Thank you 🙏
Good stuff
Thank you
Brilliance here : )
I still get flight or fight mode when people scream and yell.. I guess I subconsciously know a beating is coming.. I sabotaged myself.. had to change everything that was going good, easy.. had to make it hard for myself.. I see it so clearly now..and the why..
Parts of some of those things actually got said to me worded differently. Not all but some of those things. The first cpl. Other things were said to me the opposite of those thngs. Push pull. Then i was told to reflect and shammed and blammed
Merci 🤟
I am in no romantic relationship. That is my choice.
Hi, Miss Leblanc. How do I sign up for a coach/ therepy session with you? Thank you :)
Lise, that’s a case, but not exactely in case of recovery from trauma of a toxic relation. It might be repetitive just because we are tolerant to bad behaviors, again… In this case It’s more about the way we relate to the other, than ourselves…. I think, do You agree?
You potty-mouth! Lol. Kidding. Excellent piece.
I know right? I found it attractive actually.
The Shame monster waves Red flags at me.I hate Red flags!
If you are feeling these feelings of shame, please be kind to yourself. The shame demon is a liar. He/she actually believes that he/she is helping you with this ruthlessness.
The best lies are those that wrap themselves in truth. The truth is that bad habits DO need to be corrected to end suffering. And sometimes we DO need to forcefully exert pressure to correct the bad habit which is hurting us and others.
However, the shame demon is attacking the wrong target.
It’s not YOU that is at fault.
It’s the unskillful HABIT.
The shame demon is like a small child who is trying to do good but lacks the emotional maturity necessary to aim correctly and calibrate correctly.
Consider turning the shame demon on himself to correct his own bad behavior.
The shame demon needs to be forcibly subjugated and guided by the mature adult.
Treat yourself as you would a small child who you loved, who was doing this to herself and nobody was helping her. Would you harshly scold her?
Or would you, with boundless forgiveness and compassion, patiently and persistently guide her to end her suffering by replacing the less skillful habit with a more skillful habit that meets the underlying needs more skillfully.
With a combination of love and appropriate targeted correction, the shame demon can be COMPLETELY tamed.
Be kind to yourself.
Always remember that it is the very best among us who are most thoroughly broken into the hell of learned helplessness by the narcissist because it is beyond their natural ability to comprehend that such evil exists.
You are NOT worthless. The opposite is true. You are far more valuable than you know.
Do not believe the lies of the narcissist. They are unfortunate souls who do what they do because it's the only option they have. Don’t take their invalidation personally.
You feel the invalidation more deeply than others because your heart is so much bigger.
You are TRULY an angel of God.
KNOW that to be true
NEVER doubt it.
God loves you and he wants you to heal.
Feel the spirit of God within the smile of every good person you meet reminding you that you are loved.
Lise is beautiful woman.
Greeting madam. I went through your empowerment video of convert narcissistic woman behavior. My wife is covert narcissistic and leave me without any proper reason and either ready to give divorce.what to do in such situation?
Be angry with her (not you) and run without regret. Easier said, than done, I know, but that is the general direction.
Does it help to laugh at the shame monster 😅
Yes. This is called “interrupting the limiting pattern”.
If we can train ourselves to habitually laugh at ourselves when the bad habit arises, this creates a moment of confusion/opportunity where we can humbly seek to orient ourselves and choose the new habit we want to replace it with.
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” -Viktor Frankl
I’ve found Tony Robbins’ 7 steps to creating lasting [habit] change to be effective.
1: Connect: Understand and appreciate their world
2: Get Leverage: Use pain and pleasure to make change a MUST!
3: Interrupt the Limiting Pattern
4: Define the problem in solvable terms.
5: Create empowering alternatives
6: Condition It: Do it over and over until it sticks
7: Relate to a higher purpose and an empowering environment
Geez…
I want to micro dose while listening to this… 💯💪🏽🎭
The best advice is to acknowledge that the same monster is not you. It's like a vampire who is sucking on your energy. Don't believe anything they say!
4:54 imposter syndrome
I destroy everything I touch, like Frankenstein’s
Monster roaming the earth…. 😮
Keep in mind...that's your perception. If you look at it from a different angle, I doubt you ruined everything.
Lilith ⚸ in Libra ♎ in Ascendant... Kinda a slightly more complex issue that requires a lot more education than simply learning the average personal issues so maybe it's not a problem that I Enjoy The Solace of Solitude and Celibacey
Interesting way you worded that... Maybe it's not a problem you enjoy the solace of solitude and celibacy. It's only a problem if you claim it so. Guess the question would be, is it a problem because you feel judged by others for feeling that way or is it a problem because you are not truly in peace and contentedness in your solitude/abstinence. Tis the season of balancing your scales, Godspeed on your journey.
@@wandRng Reframing words is a skill that creates repior with others that requires a massive amount of work in increasing ones Vocabulary and Awareness of the audience your attempting to reach therefore the audience does not have to spend much energy on translations of concepts also it leaves out great amounts of complexity in the details of what one will need to learn to get to the highest level of thinking possible. Hoe_Math has a better detail of this process called Levels of Thinking check it out and see where your thoughts ranks in the overall goal of raising your vibes
Thanks!
Thanks so much for your support and contribution!