I get what you mean so this actually makes a lot of sense. I've been in both positions and had that odd feeling of "why is someone getting pushed away by me / why is this person making me uncomfortable it's not exactly neediness but something like that" but idk how to explain or understand that feeling to myself and never really knew why, but now I can see the perspectives/angles expressed and explained like that it's quite eye-opening and it makes things clicked for me. Thanks for making this video! 🥂😄
I fucking hate my CPTSD its not fair I find someone I really like and always can count on my wounds fucking things up. Always even when we really connect I can count on it ruining everything. I hate it I hate people and I hate that my past makes me “empathic” If it was within my power to move away from people in general I’d do it just so fucking done.
Hehe first like and view great content as always and also super timely for me, you have this thing where you talk about whats going on in my head a lot. Authenticity is such a hard thing to do in interpersonal reactions. Even with healing, my motivations aren't because I dislike myself (I've started to feel much more at peace with myself, actually), but it's that crazy fear of rejection that seems to come with ADHD. Definitely resulted in me treating an ex of mine as a demigod somewhat to their totally understandable cringe xD When the motivation is more of avoidance of disappointing someone else or feeling rejection and such, do you think it can kind of be a similar thing as the topic here, and your suggestions of self worth and esteem work apply as well?
Well I appreciate the like and the view haha! Great question! I've certainly had my fair share of feeling absolutely terrified of being rejected and treating an ex like a demigod haha and I think there are a couple things to consider. Firstly, I'd invite you to inquire into yourself as to what somebody rejecting you would mean on a fundamental level. Why is that something you feel the need to avoid in the first place? What would it mean if they did reject you? What would happen? These are just some examples of questions you might ask yourself. Secondly, I'd encourage you to not overthink things in the moment. What I've noticed in my past was a tendency to IMAGINE a certain narrative about the other person, how great they are, how happy I'd be with them, how intimidating or powerful or attractive, whatever. I'd create a mental picture of them that was very positive and imposing. Then, I'd compare it to a normal (or negative) picture of myself. When you do that, you reject yourself before you even give the other person a chance, purely based on imagination. I think it's worth trying to actually get to know the person, be in the moment and see who they really are, rather than let the mind freak out over a picture of who you imagine them to be All that said, I know that in the moment it can be tough and it's easy to get overwhelmed mentally, so just relax, give yourself permission to get rejected and be okay with it, and practice. That's my third piece of advice haha
@@andrewvanhoff I'm not OP but I find your reply helpful and encouraging for me as well, not to mention I could see the effort put in to be thoughtful, so thank you.
@@andrewvanhoff Wonderful advice thank you :) I think you're spot on with how I view people in the moment. Getting the practice in from being more present and allowing myself to feel uncomfortable / rejected is gonna be a bit rough but I guess it's truly the only way to allow myself to move on from this cycle of sabotage haha. As always I really appreciate the content you make and the advice you provide. Thanks again :)
I get what you mean so this actually makes a lot of sense. I've been in both positions and had that odd feeling of "why is someone getting pushed away by me / why is this person making me uncomfortable it's not exactly neediness but something like that" but idk how to explain or understand that feeling to myself and never really knew why, but now I can see the perspectives/angles expressed and explained like that it's quite eye-opening and it makes things clicked for me.
Thanks for making this video! 🥂😄
My pleasure! I'm glad it helped things click!
There is nothing more exhilarating than knowing one’s worth
Manipulative behavior is putting off people just stay genuine express genuineness
Damn, that's so me.....
I fucking hate my CPTSD its not fair I find someone I really like and always can count on my wounds fucking things up. Always even when we really connect I can count on it ruining everything.
I hate it I hate people and I hate that my past makes me “empathic”
If it was within my power to move away from people in general I’d do it just so fucking done.
Nice Video 🎉
I liked your Video because you asked Like a Like nice Guy 😂
Hehe first like and view
great content as always and also super timely for me, you have this thing where you talk about whats going on in my head a lot.
Authenticity is such a hard thing to do in interpersonal reactions. Even with healing, my motivations aren't because I dislike myself (I've started to feel much more at peace with myself, actually), but it's that crazy fear of rejection that seems to come with ADHD. Definitely resulted in me treating an ex of mine as a demigod somewhat to their totally understandable cringe xD
When the motivation is more of avoidance of disappointing someone else or feeling rejection and such, do you think it can kind of be a similar thing as the topic here, and your suggestions of self worth and esteem work apply as well?
Well I appreciate the like and the view haha!
Great question! I've certainly had my fair share of feeling absolutely terrified of being rejected and treating an ex like a demigod haha and I think there are a couple things to consider.
Firstly, I'd invite you to inquire into yourself as to what somebody rejecting you would mean on a fundamental level. Why is that something you feel the need to avoid in the first place? What would it mean if they did reject you? What would happen? These are just some examples of questions you might ask yourself.
Secondly, I'd encourage you to not overthink things in the moment. What I've noticed in my past was a tendency to IMAGINE a certain narrative about the other person, how great they are, how happy I'd be with them, how intimidating or powerful or attractive, whatever. I'd create a mental picture of them that was very positive and imposing. Then, I'd compare it to a normal (or negative) picture of myself.
When you do that, you reject yourself before you even give the other person a chance, purely based on imagination.
I think it's worth trying to actually get to know the person, be in the moment and see who they really are, rather than let the mind freak out over a picture of who you imagine them to be
All that said, I know that in the moment it can be tough and it's easy to get overwhelmed mentally, so just relax, give yourself permission to get rejected and be okay with it, and practice. That's my third piece of advice haha
@@andrewvanhoff
I'm not OP but I find your reply helpful and encouraging for me as well, not to mention I could see the effort put in to be thoughtful, so thank you.
@@andrewvanhoff Wonderful advice thank you :)
I think you're spot on with how I view people in the moment. Getting the practice in from being more present and allowing myself to feel uncomfortable / rejected is gonna be a bit rough but I guess it's truly the only way to allow myself to move on from this cycle of sabotage haha.
As always I really appreciate the content you make and the advice you provide. Thanks again :)