Dr. Daniel Amen's Tips for Teaching Children Problem Solving Skills
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- Опубліковано 28 тра 2024
- As parents, we often care so much about our children's wellbeing that we will do whatever we can to make things easier for them. However, when we step in to fix our children's problem, are we helping them or hurting them? In this video clip, taken from Dr. Amen's television special "Raising Mentally Strong Kids", he reveals the approach you should consider taking when it comes to your kids' struggles in order to raise them to be mentally strong, confident adults.
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I don't know if I 100% agree with this. My parents left me responsible for everything and I never developed those skills. I think a lot of this depends upon the child's personality. I'm interested in hearing more about this.
Did they let you be responsible for those things within the context of their grace-filled support and clear detached consequences? By "detached" I mean, sometimes parents inconvenience themselves by the consequences their children go through. So though by allow us to experience consequences, us doing so still carries weight. Another way to say this is that they are attached to the child making one choice over the other alternatives. It leads to a mess of passive aggressive control. May you give detail to your experience?
@@papi77on I was responsible for doing my own homework with no guidance or looking over. I always procrastinated, did a poor job frequently on assessments, etc. I still struggle with time management, etc. My parents made me figure out finances on my own. . I still struggle with money management, etc. Even though I bought my own car and paid for college, and held a job at the same time, so I could have health insurance. I should be fiercely independent, but I'm not.
I’m interested in how executive function plays into it as well. My siblings and I learned responsibility early on with a single mom, mostly hands off parenting and we were driven. We figured things out. But I feel others in our position but who struggle with attention might not have learned those skills? Which leaves me wondering about my own children who are now a mix of the two and seem to need more help, some than others and more actual skill demonstration and reminders. They don’t actively test things out and figure it out on their own or learn from the natural consequences. It’s getting trickier the older they get with higher risk when failing. College applications and scholarships for example. What is the balance :)?
Healthy brain. Watch Dr. Amens first conversational point from this speech.
Same here but I'm wondering maybe it's because in cases like ours, our parents were on the other extreme? Not cheerleading or getting involved at all?
I agree. There are resources for children who are struggling (tutoring). Otherwise, children should not be coddled to the point of being crippled in adulthood.
I agree, but I do not believe this kind of rearing yields the same results in every child.
Self esteem comes from self efficacy. Thanks Dr Amen.
I don't think they are the same
I agree! I was a very organized child at a young age. Very helpful around the house. In my late twenties I hit depression and was quite the opposite. I very slowly and steadily lost respect for myself. There is a self-esteem that comes from being responsibility to ones affairs.
Not always. You can be self efficient and not have good self esteem. I know I'm talking from experience. I'm self efficient but low self esteem. .so stop
Thank you for this!
He’s right 💯
I love it! 🙏 💕 ♥
When my kids come to me with the "I'm bored" problem. They get something to clean. They almost never come to me with that anymore
Are they still bored but u don t know it or is yr house perfectly clean? 😂
i see the practice of over parenting in my son’s sport team. The kids whose their Mothers do everything for them shows extreme weakness and act like little babies even though they are in High School. If they lose a game, they will hide, they don’t even know how to prepare their own snacks. I feel sad that they will not be able to cope with life challenges. In the contrast, kids who parents step away they exude self-confidence and resilience
Absolutely!!!!
Sad thing is now, where I live (Ontario, can) they don’t hold kids back anymore. And they don’t seem to have consequences for not completing work. They put it on the parents responsibility.
I love Dr Amen ❤ he is wise. Always he has solid arguments
Teach them to solve but youll alsi be thete for yhem we as grown ups jad problems solving our own problems sometimes & have to gey help..man you know tell the truth
As a teacher I don't agree. First you have to teach what it is like to be responsible for your homework and then step by step reduce the control. Otherwise it will lead to the opposite and the academic part will also be suffering.
I am a high school math teacher, and I have been teaching for 20 years. I exactly do what he recommends. I teach the math concepts with my students but I allow them to solve the problems independently/group, explore and troubleshoot it. I allow them to commit mistakes on homework and math exercises when the penalty is very low. This strategy allows my student to develop their critical thinking and mathematical analysis/skills. When they get to the actual exams, all of them performed well. It has been been 3 consecutive years that I am receiving 100% passing and proficiency rate from the state test. As of now, I got the highest Math proficiency rate across my school distirct.
Parents and teachers should realize that there is a very thin line that separates helping and enabling. Sometimes, the best thing you can do to help the child is not to help at all.
Where can we get this entire show?
ua-cam.com/video/FXLzyBJUZjs/v-deo.htmlsi=CvYkuw_VoCSP72Kx
What if you've been unconsciously doing this for most of the kids life and now they are pre-teen/teen and you need to start doing this to reinforce capability and confidence in your child? Do you have any material to help with working with older kids/teens that need this kind of suppport? ❤ Thanks for your amazing content. It has helped me change my life dramatically 😊
Thank you for tip
From which kid age can I strat this method?
Does it will work on my 4 years old daughter?
You can't start too soon
Affordable consequences...I call these natural consequences. I think it is helpful to lay them out for kids. It builds trust when they choose to fail and incur the consequences that you lovingly told them would occur. Don't exaggerate or lie to kids. Be realistic.
Do you remember Ruby from UA-cam channel eight passengers? When her daughter forgot her food to school Ruby to teach her responsibility she didn't bring that food and let her daughter to be hungry and it was abuse so... Is it good?
I wish it works
Ohhhh grief 😮😢
I think parents do too much cause they lack patience etc kids
Take time and mess up and they get frustrated and find it easier to do things themselves
What if the kid realize that it is their work to do and still they choose not to take their responsibility?
Natural consequences work just fine. When my son was in high school, one of his responsibilities who to take out the household trash. Once he just refused, letting it sit and build for two weeks. So I waited until one afternoon when all of his buddies were over playing their games. I took all of the trash into his room and placed it in the middle of the floor. He was playing a game and quickly said, “I told you I would take it out.” My response was and it will sit here until you do.” His buddies made him take it out immediately. Funny thing, he turned out all right and was very successful when he joined the marines. And is still very successful.
Should we, adults, decide to just follow the kids right from they being toddlers which helps us unlearn all that rubbish gathered as we grew up in our parents captive teaching.