I’m glad that there is some one who does not think that women should be approaching men amen. No woman should be approaching no man no matter how shy he is.
Women don't have as much power to initiate a relationship as men do. However, your man is likely (will likely be) one of the guys you say hi, hello, good morning to during your daily activities. He is not going to be a complete stranger with no idea of how friendly you are. In 2021 don't be afraid ti say good morning first.
@Fires And Flowers i went out with a guy once and wanted to initiate outings and didn't know, i was sounding desperate. Now, i know. And i told another guy my feelings for him and approached him too and he wants me to be desperate for him but i know, its not right after what i did to the other guy.
As I always say: too many men out here with feminine energy. I can’t believe so many want to be chased and seen as a prize. It’s refreshing to see men like Tony who still believe that men are to approach a woman first.
I knew a guy who asked me if I saw him in the store would I approach him. I replied “no”. He was definitely stuck on himself and thought he was the prize. I’d mop the ocean floor before I approach a man.🙅🏽♀️
I'd argue with this. There are situations where he might be attracted to you but he doesn't approach since it is not socially or otherwise acceptable, or he risks his reputation or being ridiculed, think: big age gap relationships, teacher - college student etc
@@patrix1987 “He’s taken” by the system. A college professor should not be approaching his student. A boss should not be approaching his employee. A senior military officer should not be approaching a subordinate military member. Etc. Tony is addressing the rule not the exception. 🤔
I’ve never in my life approached a man and never will. I figure if I’m not worth walking across the room for, I’m just not his type and/or he’s unavailable.
My words exactly and my father taught me that. I remember when I was in my 20s a young man came to pick me up and he blew his horn and I was going to the door, my dad stopped me. My dad said let him ring the bell, and I didn't go to the young man's car.The young man got out the car and came to the door. Same thing happened before I got married, my husband came to me and he was a very quiet man. I feel now the dating scene is way over me, I feel outdated, so I just stay single, but I see women approaching men and asking them out in churches, in my neighborhood, in different social events approaching men and I applaud women who do this, but I can't bring myself to doing this. I am out of style I agree if he can't approach me oh well it was not meant to be
I find when you do approach a man he will not honor you unless he has sought you and courted you. They need to work for your trust, gain some understanding of who you are before you become so open.
I always thought it was wack, for a woman to approach a man. Its a no for me. He who FINDS a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord. Alot of times when a woman approaches a man. From what I have seen, the man will use the woman for everything she has.
Never in my life have I approached a man. For what? I already get migraines. I tell all of my friends to wait, live your best life and be patient. Love will find you and love cannot be forced. Whether they listen🤷🏾♀️
Trust Tony when he says don’t approach men. I learned from experience and yes I was desperate. If a man wants to talk to you, he will no matter how shy he is.
This is very true. If he has a strong pull towards you, he will find a way to put himself in your orbit and to talk to you, even if it’s just a simple “hi”, no matter how shy the guy is.
I approached a guy many years ago. I instantly regretted it. Yes, he thought I "wanted to have fun." Taught me the lesson and I have never approached another man. Listen to Tony, ladies.
I think a woman that approaches men are seen as desperate, lonely, and setting themselves up for a smash hit and run series. Just saying. Absolutely💯% set up.
@@kingtimmy9491 I don't think so because a man is supposed to approach the woman if he is seriously interested in her. Its a huge difference in a man approaching a woman verses a woman approaching a man. A woman appears less decent when approaching a man/ male, but when the man approaches a woman all he appears to be is just manly. A man in pursuit of a woman or his potential bride to be. These women that are jumping from dating website to dating website to me in my opinion appear as clowns looking to get played, layed, and smashed which ever term fits best. I refuse to lower myself to any standards of chasing after a man when doing so it becomes a pattern the woman will have to keep up undoubtedly the whole entire relationship as the seeker, the initiator, the motivator of the dates, and future wedding plan's, possibly even the bedroom romance. Nope not with me it just ain't happening
@@Patricia-qy5kb Wow this is awesome information, great stuff Patricia and I fully endorsed what you say and I trust that other women who are chasing men will come to this term of understanding.
Amen!! I'm 52yrs old, have been divorced for 19.5yrs. Through those years I've dated & also had one 5yr relationship that didn't work out. The last 7.5 yrs I've been completely single, no man, no dating, nothing! I've been fasting & praying for God to send Boaz for 19.5 yrs. I'd rather wait another 5-10yrs, and allow the man to approach me, than for me to approach a man! I've never approached a man and never will! I'm old school and when God is ready he'll send the man that he's specifically designed for me to me!
Days ago a woman approached me, then started talking about marriage within a week. WE ARE HUNTERS! We shouldn't allow of women to chase us, that's just lame.
I did it once and I promise I’m not doing that shit ever again. Literally he just walks pass me looks me in my face and waits till I speak to him first . He do anything just for me to see him and he purposely not give me any type of attention. Thank you tony you be speaking the real 💯
Yh I was so sure this guy was interested in me but I know he believed I was married cos I had lied to his friend that I was.Anyway I started liking him and finally decided to make my move by telling my friend to give him my number.I thought the worst he would do was take it and not call me but he flat-out refused to take it.First and last time I would ever do that shit again
Humbly, I'm not approaching Any man and I don't have to, I know who and whose I am, they always approach me, This was Beautiful teaching Mr. Gaskins, Thank you servant of God
@@j-tenn226 he’s probably taken but still admiring the view - i’ve learned the hard way men will look and like what they see but its not always enough to get them to approach - they are taken or too insecure
I approached a boy recently, he is 4, and he's my son. I said, " Can you please come help me!" He responded, "no, I'm tired." I told him, "a gentleman helps a woman." He then pretended he was sleeping 😴 You are right about not approaching a man. I wanted to put a smile on someone's face.
@@rebeccasmith3379 glad it did. Sometimes we need to smile and remember although we are learning wisdom from our brother, Mr. Tony, we can smile while taking in wisdom. I miss watching him making us laugh without him trying to 😆
@@kaleema1987 my pleasure, Queen. Glad it put a smile on your face. Boys are something else, and you can relate with your sons. My toddler always tell me he wants me to get him a baby, I told him no. He would ask why, I told him slavery work is down with, he just laughs.
Not just from the front but any angle, men keep their head on a swivel. They notice EVERY woman that walks into a room. Regardless of if their attracted to the woman or not.
Amen Tony! I almost did the church shout when u said that's why God put a hunting nature in a man. That's right. I truly believe a man is supposed to pursue the woman.
I'm not approaching a man. Walking in a room should be enough to catch his attention and if it doesn't that means I'm not his cup of tea and that's okay. I am aware that a man may stare across the room and then there are those who will stare and make their way towards me. Not all males are quality men but it takes a man with guts to approach me. I'd rather count each bristles on a nail polish brush than to approach a man. LOL !
@@j-tenn226 you know the ones that argue with everyone... Because they stay too long with the wrong man which makes women bitter in the long run ... Men can read women like a book in 2 seconds that's what my son told me and he's a 22 years old.
It’s so crazy but I’ve honestly never been told that it was out of the norm to approach a man, I just never felt right doing it.Thanks for confirmation Tony!
Real women don’t approach men. They approach her. If you thirsty go get a glass of water. Don’t pour it on yourself then say you wet. Let him bring the pitcher.
I don’t care how attracted i am to a man i will never ever initiate- its not a good look and automatically pegs you as easy and loose with your morals in mens’ eyes
Right. Once I met a guy and mentioned to a coworker that the guy was cute. Idk what the coworker said to him, but he messaged me less than an hour later making conversation. He never would have done it if his coworker hadn’t told him that I thought he was cute. He invited me over that same night. Being naive I went. Of course he expected sex. When I didn’t give it to him, he was courteous, but I felt stupid. He never messaged me again except for following attempts.
@@overcomerbtboj he even let me spend the night. He’s a police officer so he had to play it safe (so am I). It makes me shudder that just because I expressed physical attraction he thought I’d hop in bed with him.
I’m only 0:53 seconds into this video, and I had to stop to comment. Don’t do it. Worse mistake you could ever make in your life. I initiated the conversation, and I will never forget his response. I thought I was helping him break the ice because he was shy and a foreigner. Nope. Wasn’t shy. He just wasn’t interested. He didn’t approach me because he is interested in my friend. I wish I never did it and I will spend the rest of my life regretting it. DON’T. DO IT.
Amen! Men, young, old, shy, extrovert will always go after what they really, really want. Women have been told so many lies that many are very confused to the point where there are videos where women are getting on their knees and proposing to men. To those women I say, expect the heartache and heartbreak 💔 to come. After all, he never pursued you and never invested anything in establishing a solid foundation or future so he'll have no problem walking away.
@@ebonydennis8996 If there are no regrets why repent? This feel good culture is destroying us from the inside out. She regrets what she did because she should. It was a wrong approach. It doesn't mean it wasn't a lesson but we must be honest with ourselves to grow.
Thank u for this. When u acknowledged all we go thru as women I exhaled. Lol so many men act like we are asking for too much when we want the basics from a man. Protection and provision.
Oh my God!! This topic is real good. Tony, I just had a whole long conversation with family and friends about women approaching men 2 days ago and I told them it makes a woman look desperate, thirsty, and too aggressive. My Male cousin said, all we're doing as a woman is breaking the ice. I disagreed with him. We discussed this for hours. It just dont seem right, nor does it feel right is what I told them.
I'm 5'2. Sometimes when I'm in the store, I may need help to get something off a higher shelf. If there's a tall enough man nearby, I'll ask for help. The men, who appear to be in my age range, often come across as standoffish & guarded, especially if they're alone. However, once they realize I only want help and nothing more, they tend to relax and become more talkative even friendly. I said that to say, like it or not what Tony said tends to be true. When you approach men, in many scenarios, they respond as if they're doing you a favor by responding.
Wow this is God sent . I had told my group that I did not call a man or approach them . They said time has changed. I was not comfortable with that response. I should not doubt myself and not my God. God put this on my heart I will trust him with my heart.
The problem with women approaching men is that we as women are not built to take rejection like a man. Thank God I was raised old school and taught to let the man show his interest organically.
I absolutely 100% agree and i tell women this all the time, and i like my women feminine, seen not heard, acceptant of my lead. Masculine men are to hunt what we want, we don’t wanna be approached. We’re gonna assume she’s easy and we’re not taking a woman seriously that shoots her shot. Men are the gatekeepers to a relationship not women. Let that man come to you, if he doesn’t or doesn’t have to confidence then it wasn’t meant for y’all to connect. Simple
"Seen not heard"... But remember, sir... God gave both genders of the human race a mind and a mouth for a reason. You of course have the right to whatever you prefer... but you may miss half the blessing in the world...
Well I pursued my fiance, but he is the leader of the relationship, and I know a lot of relationships where woman made the first move, but man is the leader, I think the problem is when woman make all the moves.
And he said that some women that he pursued in the past has a agressive personality and "I don't need a man" vibes, so I think It is a bit relative. He liked me because I don't have an agressive personality and because he says he likes that I'm lovely and have not pride to say "I love you" like he does.
I need these reminders 😩. Thank you Tony. Any time I *think* about approaching men your voice will ring in my ears reminding me not to be desperate and thirsty!
I’m sure Tony would think, ‘well, is she working on the 3 B’s? Yes, she is. I’m 49 and men of all ages, including 20 somethings are attracted to the point of obsession. The games men play are so deeply rooted in society I’m not willing to weed through the nonsense. I can barely go to the gym without men sexualizing me. That’s all they want. Not one is willing to have an intellectual conversation.
Thank you so much everyone for your kind and understanding words. There is someone who is actually proving to be worth my time. I like that his approach is not aggressive and overtly sexual. I don’t want to speak too soon, but he’s different from everyone else.
@@melaniebarnes4374 making this decision has saved me from a lot of stress and heart ache, but I can’t help but wonder and worry about when that moment finally does happen… If I still have it? I’m so out of touch with my sexuality.
There’s so much peace in letting things take place decently and by arrangement! There’s so much more to lose when you approach a dude first. You are much more likely to overlook his flaws cuz you don’t want your efforts to be wasted. Never again!!! I’ll let my future husband do all the initiating 💯
Hmmm but what I don’t get is that your exact reasoning for why a women should not do it, can also apply to men (overlooking her flaws and having much more to lose) are you saying it’s just better for a man to put his heart on the line?
@@kingtimmy9491 no not saying that. I think it’s best for both men and women to hold back emotionally (ie putting their heart on the line) in the beginning stages. There’s a way to just talk and get to know a person and show interest without going out of the way to do so. So, as a woman, I’m never going out of my way to start this process again.
Me too, Taura. I really didn’t think anything was wrong with it. I didn’t have examples of good relationships growing up so I didn’t know I had set myself up for failure. Tough lessons learned.
You do hear quite a few women with a bag have success stories of approaching a man. That is very tricky because there is no way to know he is truly there for you. It would be very naive to think that it’s not a factor in why he is there. Some women lead with all that they can bring to the table not realizing that is a recipe for disaster.
I feel like it’s equivalent of strangers falling in love and getting married after a month and being together for 30+ years. It can happen, but it’s the exception to the rule. For most of us, it wouldn’t work out in our favor.
"Okay, and...?" Omg. I met a man who told me he would love to be taken care of by a woman. I walked away as fast as I could. Poor guy. I see him all over town.
I always imagine if I approach a man, then we end up married, one day he will cheat or want out of the relationship and then say, " I didn't even want you, you approached me. "
And that's literally the downfall of those poor cells, since *only one is selected* and the rest die off forever forgotten, well, such is the fate of the male species in this hellish existence...
THIS IS THE BEST EVER. I put myself on the begging end, looking up to him! "He's the prize"--that's the message! This totally changes the viewpoint, thank you! P.S. I ain't NEVER initiating again, I'm sure I was a dam irritant.
Dislikes? Keep bumping your head against the wall doing things out of order. God and Tony will be here for you when you’re tired of failing relationships and ready to listen.
I have a couple male friends and one time we got into a debate about this topic when they asked me would I ever approach a man and I said “nope. Never”. They tried to convince me that I should but I’m not going for it 😂
My experience: when I was 18, I approached a guy b/c it was when that wave started (we were the same age). It went good during the first few weeks & he expressed he never met a girl who liked him first. He would initiate the convos, date, etc, but after the few weeks, he became distant & no longer interested. In the distant convos, he would tell me, he never really liked black girls, he only said yes to a date b/c he didn't want to hurt my feelings; then he ghosted me. Few months later I get a text out of the blue from him saying if I still have feelings for him (I knew immediately it was a test/pride). I just said no then wished him well. *Presently & sadly, I know of men (some MOG) who say women HAVE to initiate first 🙄 their reason is they don't want to risk being creepy nor rejected. (hopefully you can please speak on the fear aspect these men have Tony. I remember you said on another video that this means they're not ready for marriage anyway)* As for Simone, I'm not sure if she did this with her previous bf, but with the previous one, they would always post everything together, then a scandal came out that he was cheating on her. she broke up with him, then a few months later she got a new man 🤷🏽♀️
Thank you Tony… great message. I’ve never approached a man, but when I was pretty broken, I once noticed this good looking guy at the gym shyly looking at me and seemed like he wanted to approach me but always looked away when our eyes met. I stupidly tried to help him out and commented something bout how he has a nice face 🙄😳 Probably looked desperate as 🥴 never again. He was super shy, and I was over confident. Literally never done that in my life…. I was watching some other relationship ‘expert’ and gave it a bit of a go …. Listen to Tony only! My brokenness would have been evident. Heal and let them approach you. Xx God’s word is Truth.
My friend approached a guy she liked ❤️ told him she liked him. He said he wasn’t ready. 6 months later she found out he met someone else and was engaged.
(2 of 4) Right, The two boyfriends I had in high school did not understand me for leaving them after they went out to get experience. I dated them because we were virgins. They felt that, because I would not give them my body, that I would still take them back after they go get it from another girl, because they needed it while in school so they can impress their friends. They told me that I was not suppose to think like a man, wanting a virgin, just because the world told them that we should except them, no matter how many women they had. One of them, the one I loved the most because he had high standards also, got his from a virgin and left her. I told him, now I see that you would have done that to me. He said he would not have done that to me. My advice for virgin girls is to date boys with a problem, like a guy other girls do not like because he is a little ugly, a little short or a little fat, because it will help you to let him go instantly when he breaks your heart. You will knew that it is a little problem because no one will talk bad about him for having those problems and he is not a threat in any other way. Be aware that you being his girlfriends will make others girls, who are jealous of you, want him now, because other boys like their boyfriend will be talking about how you are so beautiful, fine and respectable and they think you are worth more than him. If you pick a boy that is hilariously funny, he will always fall into that ugly duckling syndrome. He will not believe that you love him, because he does not like or love himself, so he will try to rape you or he will allow those girls who wants to hurt you to have sex with him. Ask Beyonce.
You are on it! I been trying to get young ladies to understand it’s only a double standard because we are socialized to allow it to be. But women most definitely could and should have the same standard.
I am old fashion and Refuse to approach or Chase anyone. I’d rather be Single, disease, Drama free and Happy. Been told, that’s why I’m Still Single. 😅😂 Never alone when GOD is guiding You my darlings. 💯✅🥰🌺
That makes great sense. Only men that are established or at least well on their way to being established, in order to protect and provide for a woman and children, should be approaching any feminine that he is interested in taking on a date. If he’s not ready like that, then he surely shouldn’t be pursuing any woman and he doesn’t need any woman to be asking him on a date either, because he’s not prepared for anything but to take care of himself. So therefore it’s a waste of a woman’s time to approach any man in most instances. Only if a single woman is already well established on her own, then sometimes she may initiate chat with a male just to talk to or go out with once in awhile, but she shouldn’t expect any relationship out of it. But in a more serious romantic relationship though, a man should always take the lead role and show that he can and will provide and protect his feminine and court her accordingly. Especially for the young ladies that want to get married and have children, don’t waste your time with a man that doesn’t court you properly and show that he wants and desires only you. Men that aren’t interested in you as their one possible special woman will be distracted by the beauty, tits and ass of many women, therefore, if a man can show that he is interested in only you and is also worthy of your time and attention then make him focus in on pursuing only you as that special one for him. Single women in the meantime should focus in on being their very best selves, using their time and money on making themselves healthy, strong and attractive physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually with activities that benefit their own growth, so then they will be ready to make wise decisions in life and will be fine single or with a loving and kind man that proves he is worthy to be your mate because he was strong and brave enough to prepare himself well in advance and wanted only you. The man has to conquer his own fears and doubts in order to make himself ready for the pursuit and once he fully gets through that personal war with himself, then he is strong mentally, physically and emotionally as a man and is proud of himself and his feminine will be proud and respect him always.
I learned my lesson the hard way... Thank you for spreading this message! Ladies, rest in your femininity and let the men fulfill their biological urge to chase, compete and win
It’s interesting bc when I was in a relationship with my ex we were having a conversation and I remember mentioning that I have never been the type to approach a guy and he said that when a female approaches a guy that it shows how truly confident she is
I miss my Tony, haven't had a chance to watch in a little while!! My sentiment exactly!! I can not change what has been ingrained in me!! Thank you 🥰🤗🥰 for always always being the TRUTH 💯 of a matter 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Thank you so much!! It's refreshing to know that there are men that believe in the correct order. So many men these days EXPECT you to approach and ask them out on a date. Unbelievable!! This is because women are not making them work anymore by pursuing them. Ladies stop pursuing men!
Im going to be honest, just because a man approach you doesn't mean he wants you. I thought the guy really wanted me and just wanted my body and when i didn't give it up, he didn't want me at alllll anymore. I don't really approach men but they may already have other woman and just want to add you on there list. Just trust God. He will lead and guide you ❤
I agree with you. I have a male friend who constantly wants me to chase men. When I tell him I want to be chased by a man, he scoffs. But, he has been pursued by women his entire life. No, I want to be pursued by a man.
I had a male friend that was the same way, scoffed too. But he is broke and doesn’t have financial stability no car no license nothing. He wants a provider 😂 not a feminine woman apparently
I disagree. Making the first move as a woman is seen as confident and that's attractive. You can initiate a conversation with a man you're interested in if you want to. Stop making all these rules. Men can't approach women these days without being seen as a creep or "harassment." All you have to do is give him the sign that says "You can talk to me" and then let the man do rest of the work.
I don’t know what it is, but Tony looking extra good in this video today 😹😹. Could b that his Alpha is being exerted in this video 😂😂. His wife is blessed! He said, “okay, and” 😂😂… he also said “dis the wrong page” 🤣🤣.. finally a real man telling grown boys to stop crying..
Finally!!!! A man not crying about being a man.
Rare!!! 💯💯💯
💯💯💯💯
@@AvAG1923 definitely not rare.
Hell to the yass!
@@broco6608 i don’t. I wouldn’t want to be a woman, as long i stay rational, wise and a peace of man and God first. Life is great 😌
I’m glad that there is some one who does not think that women should be approaching men amen. No woman should be approaching no man no matter how shy he is.
IKR....he aint that shy....bump that 👎
@@beefaye18 Right 👏🏾
Yeah he needs to grow up n come to u sis
Women don't have as much power to initiate a relationship as men do. However, your man is likely (will likely be) one of the guys you say hi, hello, good morning to during your daily activities. He is not going to be a complete stranger with no idea of how friendly you are. In 2021 don't be afraid ti say good morning first.
@Fires And Flowers i went out with a guy once and wanted to initiate outings and didn't know, i was sounding desperate. Now, i know. And i told another guy my feelings for him and approached him too and he wants me to be desperate for him but i know, its not right after what i did to the other guy.
As I always say: too many men out here with feminine energy. I can’t believe so many want to be chased and seen as a prize. It’s refreshing to see men like Tony who still believe that men are to approach a woman first.
I knew a guy who asked me if I saw him in the store would I approach him. I replied “no”. He was definitely stuck on himself and thought he was the prize. I’d mop the ocean floor before I approach a man.🙅🏽♀️
In all honesty I’d rather be thrown into the ringer with a hungry polar bear than approach a random woman off the street lmaooo
If a man does not approach you: “he’s taken or he’s not attracted to you…He’s not in relationship mode.” TG
Annnnd there it is...it's really THAT simple.
And/or knows you are not the type who takes BS.
@@ultimateoptimist5217 how can a man look at a woman and see that?
I'd argue with this. There are situations where he might be attracted to you but he doesn't approach since it is not socially or otherwise acceptable, or he risks his reputation or being ridiculed, think: big age gap relationships, teacher - college student etc
@@patrix1987 “He’s taken” by the system. A college professor should not be approaching his student. A boss should not be approaching his employee. A senior military officer should not be approaching a subordinate military member. Etc. Tony is addressing the rule not the exception. 🤔
I’ve never in my life approached a man and never will. I figure if I’m not worth walking across the room for, I’m just not his type and/or he’s unavailable.
Solid ✋👏👏👏
That’s absolutely right.
My words exactly and my father taught me that. I remember when I was in my 20s a young man came to pick me up and he blew his horn and I was going to the door, my dad stopped me. My dad said let him ring the bell, and I didn't go to the young man's car.The young man got out the car and came to the door. Same thing happened before I got married, my husband came to me and he was a very quiet man. I feel now the dating scene is way over me, I feel outdated, so I just stay single, but I see women approaching men and asking them out in churches, in my neighborhood, in different social events approaching men and I applaud women who do this, but I can't bring myself to doing this. I am out of style I agree if he can't approach me oh well it was not meant to be
I find when you do approach a man he will not honor you unless he has sought you and courted you. They need to work for your trust, gain some understanding of who you are before you become so open.
"Work while you wait" I felt that!... GOD Bless you Tony!!! So many Gems in this video as usual!
I always thought it was wack, for a woman to approach a man. Its a no for me. He who FINDS a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord. Alot of times when a woman approaches a man. From what I have seen, the man will use the woman for everything she has.
Oh my god.
Agreed
And it’s so embarrassing.
If we’re going off Bible principles why do yall be having 10+ bodies lol
the reality is that yall both find each other.
Never in my life have I approached a man. For what? I already get migraines. I tell all of my friends to wait, live your best life and be patient. Love will find you and love cannot be forced. Whether they listen🤷🏾♀️
All he will see is ......"FREAK" 👀
@@beefaye18 😂😂😂
@@GoodGrief101 😂😂😂 I just can't do it
Words of wisdom 🙌
Amen
Trust Tony when he says don’t approach men. I learned from experience and yes I was desperate. If a man wants to talk to you, he will no matter how shy he is.
This is very true. If he has a strong pull towards you, he will find a way to put himself in your orbit and to talk to you, even if it’s just a simple “hi”, no matter how shy the guy is.
I approached a guy many years ago. I instantly regretted it. Yes, he thought I "wanted to have fun." Taught me the lesson and I have never approached another man. Listen to Tony, ladies.
They don't respect you
Dont give up u have to make sure u hit events that where success happen in big places and events
Men get rejected by womens all the time
@@Buckyball4 Lol, I’m really not understanding what the difference is when a man approaches, smh.
“When you get in the place Ruth, shut your mouth” Boaz spoke to her first!!!
I think a woman that approaches men are seen as desperate, lonely, and setting themselves up for a smash hit and run series. Just saying. Absolutely💯% set up.
But wouldn’t that be the same case for a man? Serious question🤔
@@kingtimmy9491 I don't think so because a man is supposed to approach the woman if he is seriously interested in her. Its a huge difference in a man approaching a woman verses a woman approaching a man. A woman appears less decent when approaching a man/ male, but when the man approaches a woman all he appears to be is just manly. A man in pursuit of a woman or his potential bride to be. These women that are jumping from dating website to dating website to me in my opinion appear as clowns looking to get played, layed, and smashed which ever term fits best. I refuse to lower myself to any standards of chasing after a man when doing so it becomes a pattern the woman will have to keep up undoubtedly the whole entire relationship as the seeker, the initiator, the motivator of the dates, and future wedding plan's, possibly even the bedroom romance. Nope not with me it just ain't happening
@@kingtimmy9491 if it’s a thirsty man than yes
Pretty much
@@Patricia-qy5kb Wow this is awesome information, great stuff Patricia and I fully endorsed what you say and I trust that other women who are chasing men will come to this term of understanding.
Amen!! I'm 52yrs old, have been divorced for 19.5yrs. Through those years I've dated & also had one 5yr relationship that didn't work out. The last 7.5 yrs I've been completely single, no man, no dating, nothing!
I've been fasting & praying for God to send Boaz for 19.5 yrs. I'd rather wait another 5-10yrs, and allow the man to approach me, than for me to approach a man! I've never approached a man and never will! I'm old school and when God is ready he'll send the man that he's specifically designed for me to me!
💯 💯
Stay single
@@jbthetestgod Why do you say stay single? Marriage is a blessing.
Days ago a woman approached me, then started talking about marriage within a week. WE ARE HUNTERS! We shouldn't allow of women to chase us, that's just lame.
She must be a liberal. U dodged a bullet
Wow 😮
@Priscilla liking a picture isn’t approaching
@@charellesexii6555 that was mean to say you dogded a bullet because she said it first
@@Buckyball4😂😂😂😂😂
I did it once and I promise I’m not doing that shit ever again. Literally he just walks pass me looks me in my face and waits till I speak to him first . He do anything just for me to see him and he purposely not give me any type of attention. Thank you tony you be speaking the real 💯
Never ever will I approach a guy first, the worst and degrading thing I ever did! Lol The RIGHT one will do!
Hey that's what I'm doing with girls I like, ahahaha, I like seeing girls putting in the effort for a change
Yh I was so sure this guy was interested in me but I know he believed I was married cos I had lied to his friend that I was.Anyway I started liking him and finally decided to make my move by telling my friend to give him my number.I thought the worst he would do was take it and not call me but he flat-out refused to take it.First and last time I would ever do that shit again
@@homiesenatepnow u know how men feel
@@s.r.125cry
Humbly, I'm not approaching Any man and I don't have to, I know who and whose I am, they always approach me, This was Beautiful teaching Mr. Gaskins,
Thank you servant of God
Clicked off Amazon Prime to tune in.. needed this 🌠
I was on Prime too🤣😂🤣
@@kishoflife 🤣🤣
"If he does not approach you he does not think you're cute" If a real man is interested in you he will approach you. 💯🎯💯.
What if he aggressively looks but doesn’t approach?
@@j-tenn226 he’s probably taken but still admiring the view - i’ve learned the hard way men will look and like what they see but its not always enough to get them to approach - they are taken or too insecure
I approached a boy recently, he is 4, and he's my son. I said, " Can you please come help me!"
He responded, "no, I'm tired." I told him, "a gentleman helps a woman." He then pretended he was sleeping 😴
You are right about not approaching a man. I wanted to put a smile on someone's face.
That was too cute!! It definitely put on smile on face. Thank you for sharing.
Aww that was too adorable
😂 😂 😂 😂
@@rebeccasmith3379 glad it did. Sometimes we need to smile and remember although we are learning wisdom from our brother, Mr. Tony, we can smile while taking in wisdom. I miss watching him making us laugh without him trying to 😆
@@kaleema1987 my pleasure, Queen. Glad it put a smile on your face. Boys are something else, and you can relate with your sons. My toddler always tell me he wants me to get him a baby, I told him no. He would ask why, I told him slavery work is down with, he just laughs.
“If you saw him from the front, he saw you.” TG
@@Cinnabunberry1937 Me too! 🤣🤣
Nice saying.
Not just from the front but any angle, men keep their head on a swivel. They notice EVERY woman that walks into a room. Regardless of if their attracted to the woman or not.
@@c.l.9344 this is very true
Understood
I’m 15 I acted desperate before🤦🏽♀️ but now I’m learning & growing💆🏽♀️
15? Oh honey! Been there! Stay strong! You have you're whole life ahead of you!
I'm 53 and still learning and growing.
@@asaltweapon1741 thank you for your comforting words..now for sure I know I’m not alone!
God bless you & keep learning growing ! Shows alot that you're here, know your worth ! Value yourself 😘🌺
@@turkessaH4983 Amen🤝!!
I’m 19, I did it too. Never again!
Amen Tony! I almost did the church shout when u said that's why God put a hunting nature in a man. That's right. I truly believe a man is supposed to pursue the woman.
So he will always be a slave to his instincs and keeps bringing more slaves to this crappy existence...
I'm not approaching a man. Walking in a room should be enough to catch his attention and if it doesn't that means I'm not his cup of tea and that's okay. I am aware that a man may stare across the room and then there are those who will stare and make their way towards me. Not all males are quality men but it takes a man with guts to approach me. I'd rather count each bristles on a nail polish brush than to approach a man. LOL !
That last sentence 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
@@overcomerbtboj I know right
Yes I agree... But make sure.. You're open and friendly.. when they do come over.. They can read difficult woman.. And walk on by..
@@stormyv.8890 what makes a difficult woman?
@@j-tenn226 you know the ones that argue with everyone... Because they stay too long with the wrong man which makes women bitter in the long run ... Men can read women like a book in 2 seconds that's what my son told me and he's a 22 years old.
It’s so crazy but I’ve honestly never been told that it was out of the norm to approach a man, I just never felt right doing it.Thanks for confirmation Tony!
True. I thought it was ok too. Now, i know, its not ok.
@@merlinsvdd Yes, exactly it’s been confirmed that it’s indeed a no go!
‘Soft men’!! Tony, This encapsulates it all!! Thank you!!
Real women don’t approach men. They approach her. If you thirsty go get a glass of water. Don’t pour it on yourself then say you wet. Let him bring the pitcher.
🤭 oh my!
Ok!!!!!!
That's a good analogy
I don’t care how attracted i am to a man i will never ever initiate- its not a good look and automatically pegs you as easy and loose with your morals in mens’ eyes
Right. Once I met a guy and mentioned to a coworker that the guy was cute. Idk what the coworker said to him, but he messaged me less than an hour later making conversation. He never would have done it if his coworker hadn’t told him that I thought he was cute. He invited me over that same night. Being naive I went. Of course he expected sex. When I didn’t give it to him, he was courteous, but I felt stupid. He never messaged me again except for following attempts.
@@j-tenn226 wow - at least he was ok with you saying no and you got away from there safely
@@overcomerbtboj he even let me spend the night. He’s a police officer so he had to play it safe (so am I). It makes me shudder that just because I expressed physical attraction he thought I’d hop in bed with him.
I’m only 0:53 seconds into this video, and I had to stop to comment.
Don’t do it.
Worse mistake you could ever make in your life.
I initiated the conversation, and I will never forget his response.
I thought I was helping him break the ice because he was shy and a foreigner.
Nope.
Wasn’t shy.
He just wasn’t interested.
He didn’t approach me because he is interested in my friend.
I wish I never did it and I will spend the rest of my life regretting it.
DON’T.
DO IT.
Amen! Men, young, old, shy, extrovert will always go after what they really, really want. Women have been told so many lies that many are very confused to the point where there are videos where women are getting on their knees and proposing to men. To those women I say, expect the heartache and heartbreak 💔 to come. After all, he never pursued you and never invested anything in establishing a solid foundation or future so he'll have no problem walking away.
Lol that is what most men go through on a day to day basis you’ll be alright😂
Don’t beat yourself up sis. That happens. No regrets only lessons to help you and others
@@ebonydennis8996 If there are no regrets why repent? This feel good culture is destroying us from the inside out. She regrets what she did because she should. It was a wrong approach. It doesn't mean it wasn't a lesson but we must be honest with ourselves to grow.
Thank u for this. When u acknowledged all we go thru as women I exhaled. Lol so many men act like we are asking for too much when we want the basics from a man. Protection and provision.
Oh my God!! This topic is real good. Tony, I just had a whole long conversation with family and friends about women approaching men 2 days ago and I told them it makes a woman look desperate, thirsty, and too aggressive. My Male cousin said, all we're doing as a woman is breaking the ice. I disagreed with him. We discussed this for hours. It just dont seem right, nor does it feel right is what I told them.
You should send this to him lol
I'm 5'2. Sometimes when I'm in the store, I may need help to get something off a higher shelf. If there's a tall enough man nearby, I'll ask for help. The men, who appear to be in my age range, often come across as standoffish & guarded, especially if they're alone. However, once they realize I only want help and nothing more, they tend to relax and become more talkative even friendly. I said that to say, like it or not what Tony said tends to be true. When you approach men, in many scenarios, they respond as if they're doing you a favor by responding.
And you never want to give a man the opportunity of having the upper hand
@@Breanne_Mthis is why black women remain the most unmarried 😂
@@Jedilord882 we are i feel like you can approach him though
“That man could be cheating on her like a college exam” 😂😂😂 I receive and appreciate your message Tony. Thank you
That quote is 😂😂😂😂
One of the things that I really appreciate about Tony, is that he WILL CALL YOU OUT!
NO......DON'T DO IT....YOU WILL BE THE FREAK OF THE WEEK TO HIM !!!
Everytime I think about doing that I will watch this video and also look at this comment
😆😆😆😆😆
@@NicoleJones-cg5vn 😄😄
@@NicoleJones-cg5vn Its a shame....😂
Thank you Tony for keeping it 100 at all times, Blessings🙏🏾
Wow this is God sent . I had told my group that I did not call a man or approach them . They said time has changed. I was not comfortable with that response. I should not doubt myself and not my God. God put this on my heart I will trust him with my heart.
The problem with women approaching men is that we as women are not built to take rejection like a man. Thank God I was raised old school and taught to let the man show his interest organically.
B.s
Men aren’t built to take rejection lmao
@@joshuajackson7050 right thank you
This young man has his head on very straight. I love when he says, “Here’s a cookie.” Lol.
Thanks Tony for making an impact…so true. God bless you
I absolutely 100% agree and i tell women this all the time, and i like my women feminine, seen not heard, acceptant of my lead. Masculine men are to hunt what we want, we don’t wanna be approached. We’re gonna assume she’s easy and we’re not taking a woman seriously that shoots her shot. Men are the gatekeepers to a relationship not women. Let that man come to you, if he doesn’t or doesn’t have to confidence then it wasn’t meant for y’all to connect. Simple
"Seen not heard"... But remember, sir... God gave both genders of the human race a mind and a mouth for a reason. You of course have the right to whatever you prefer... but you may miss half the blessing in the world...
@@hymnodyhands of course, but you know what i mean. Not a loud woman. The Bible mentioned that.
@@gcode305 💯💯💯
Well I pursued my fiance, but he is the leader of the relationship, and I know a lot of relationships where woman made the first move, but man is the leader, I think the problem is when woman make all the moves.
And he said that some women that he pursued in the past has a agressive personality and "I don't need a man" vibes, so I think It is a bit relative. He liked me because I don't have an agressive personality and because he says he likes that I'm lovely and have not pride to say "I love you" like he does.
Dang, a woman approaching Tony makes him want to throw up in his mouth🤢. This is coming from a substantial man. I believe him. Duly noted, Sir.🧐😅👌🏽
Right LOL 😂
I agree with this
I need these reminders 😩. Thank you Tony. Any time I *think* about approaching men your voice will ring in my ears reminding me not to be desperate and thirsty!
I’ve been abstinent 11 years and I’m approached often, but not by the right man.
True they approach you and still no good
I’m sure Tony would think, ‘well, is she working on the 3 B’s? Yes, she is. I’m 49 and men of all ages, including 20 somethings are attracted to the point of obsession. The games men play are so deeply rooted in society I’m not willing to weed through the nonsense. I can barely go to the gym without men sexualizing me. That’s all they want. Not one is willing to have an intellectual conversation.
Thank you so much everyone for your kind and understanding words. There is someone who is actually proving to be worth my time. I like that his approach is not aggressive and overtly sexual. I don’t want to speak too soon, but he’s different from everyone else.
@@alyokin Praise God sis. Been ab for 11 as well.
@@melaniebarnes4374 making this decision has saved me from a lot of stress and heart ache, but I can’t help but wonder and worry about when that moment finally does happen… If I still have it? I’m so out of touch with my sexuality.
There’s so much peace in letting things take place decently and by arrangement! There’s so much more to lose when you approach a dude first. You are much more likely to overlook his flaws cuz you don’t want your efforts to be wasted. Never again!!! I’ll let my future husband do all the initiating 💯
Amen
This!
Hmmm but what I don’t get is that your exact reasoning for why a women should not do it, can also apply to men (overlooking her flaws and having much more to lose) are you saying it’s just better for a man to put his heart on the line?
@@kingtimmy9491 no not saying that. I think it’s best for both men and women to hold back emotionally (ie putting their heart on the line) in the beginning stages. There’s a way to just talk and get to know a person and show interest without going out of the way to do so. So, as a woman, I’m never going out of my way to start this process again.
“Work while you wait” 💜🙏🏾
"You looking ah mess!" TG 😂😂😂
😂😂😂😂
Funniest part of the video haha 🤣😂
😆🤣
Yes! Let him approach you! This is so refreshing to hear this from a mans perspective! Thanks Tony! 😇🙏
I've done it since I assumed it wasn't bad. Trust me, it backfired several times. Lesson learned.
Me too, Taura. I really didn’t think anything was wrong with it. I didn’t have examples of good relationships growing up so I didn’t know I had set myself up for failure. Tough lessons learned.
👀( tony's rolled eyes while saying..)"oh" -TG 😂😂😂
😂😂
Oh the Lord send this at the right time!!! Thank you Tony - from a 20 year old young lady
You do hear quite a few women with a bag have success stories of approaching a man. That is very tricky because there is no way to know he is truly there for you. It would be very naive to think that it’s not a factor in why he is there. Some women lead with all that they can bring to the table not realizing that is a recipe for disaster.
@@kaleema1987 exactly lol
I feel like it’s equivalent of strangers falling in love and getting married after a month and being together for 30+ years. It can happen, but it’s the exception to the rule. For most of us, it wouldn’t work out in our favor.
Teleported to watching this video. Thank you Tony!
"kite without a string" that's a different type of lost 😂👍🏽🙌🏽 Great video!
🤣🤣🤣💀💀💀
Been missing these videos. Thank you Tony💪🏾
This is one of my favorites Mr. Gaskins that you so much !!!!!
"Okay, and...?" Omg. I met a man who told me he would love to be taken care of by a woman. I walked away as fast as I could. Poor guy. I see him all over town.
This was a WORD. These men are as Soft as the orher side of my Pillow. I cannot and will NOT! Keep up the good work 💯💯💯
I always imagine if I approach a man, then we end up married, one day he will cheat or want out of the relationship and then say, " I didn't even want you, you approached me. "
The dislikes are from masculinas that approach men and the feminine man who likes to be approached
The sperm (male) CHASES the egg (female)!! Enough said
And that's literally the downfall of those poor cells, since *only one is selected* and the rest die off forever forgotten, well, such is the fate of the male species in this hellish existence...
Tony, Tony, Tony! Thank YOU! You've mentioned this before, but thank for driving this point home!
THIS IS THE BEST EVER. I put myself on the begging end, looking up to him! "He's the prize"--that's the message! This totally changes the viewpoint, thank you! P.S. I ain't NEVER initiating again, I'm sure I was a dam irritant.
Dislikes? Keep bumping your head against the wall doing things out of order. God and Tony will be here for you when you’re tired of failing relationships and ready to listen.
I have a couple male friends and one time we got into a debate about this topic when they asked me would I ever approach a man and I said “nope. Never”. They tried to convince me that I should but I’m not going for it 😂
I dont fall in love often I fall in love as often as sade puts out an album and we know how often she makes an album
💯
I was lost anyways. I was lost without a cause. Benefits!! 😂😂😂😂 bruh I’m screaming.
My experience: when I was 18, I approached a guy b/c it was when that wave started (we were the same age). It went good during the first few weeks & he expressed he never met a girl who liked him first. He would initiate the convos, date, etc, but after the few weeks, he became distant & no longer interested. In the distant convos, he would tell me, he never really liked black girls, he only said yes to a date b/c he didn't want to hurt my feelings; then he ghosted me. Few months later I get a text out of the blue from him saying if I still have feelings for him (I knew immediately it was a test/pride). I just said no then wished him well.
*Presently & sadly, I know of men (some MOG) who say women HAVE to initiate first 🙄 their reason is they don't want to risk being creepy nor rejected. (hopefully you can please speak on the fear aspect these men have Tony. I remember you said on another video that this means they're not ready for marriage anyway)*
As for Simone, I'm not sure if she did this with her previous bf, but with the previous one, they would always post everything together, then a scandal came out that he was cheating on her. she broke up with him, then a few months later she got a new man 🤷🏽♀️
Thank you Tony… great message. I’ve never approached a man, but when I was pretty broken, I once noticed this good looking guy at the gym shyly looking at me and seemed like he wanted to approach me but always looked away when our eyes met. I stupidly tried to help him out and commented something bout how he has a nice face 🙄😳
Probably looked desperate as 🥴 never again.
He was super shy, and I was over confident. Literally never done that in my life…. I was watching some other relationship ‘expert’ and gave it a bit of a go …. Listen to Tony only! My brokenness would have been evident. Heal and let them approach you. Xx God’s word is Truth.
Again, a good video. Thanks Tony.
This true I did this and i made a fool of myself .
My friend approached a guy she liked ❤️ told him she liked him. He said he wasn’t ready. 6 months later she found out he met someone else and was engaged.
Thank you, Tony! I totally agree! Let the man step up and be the man. Women, have respect for yourself and for him.
God Bless TG put this in daily rotation ladies Got to get this message!
Great message👍🏾
👏🏽 I don't even believe in telling a man I love you first. There are some things that a man needs to lead on.
(2 of 4) Right, The two boyfriends I had in high school did not understand me for leaving them after they went out to get experience. I dated them because we were virgins. They felt that, because I would not give them my body, that I would still take them back after they go get it from another girl, because they needed it while in school so they can impress their friends. They told me that I was not suppose to think like a man, wanting a virgin, just because the world told them that we should except them, no matter how many women they had. One of them, the one I loved the most because he had high standards also, got his from a virgin and left her. I told him, now I see that you would have done that to me. He said he would not have done that to me. My advice for virgin girls is to date boys with a problem, like a guy other girls do not like because he is a little ugly, a little short or a little fat, because it will help you to let him go instantly when he breaks your heart. You will knew that it is a little problem because no one will talk bad about him for having those problems and he is not a threat in any other way. Be aware that you being his girlfriends will make others girls, who are jealous of you, want him now, because other boys like their boyfriend will be talking about how you are so beautiful, fine and respectable and they think you are worth more than him. If you pick a boy that is hilariously funny, he will always fall into that ugly duckling syndrome. He will not believe that you love him, because he does not like or love himself, so he will try to rape you or he will allow those girls who wants to hurt you to have sex with him. Ask Beyonce.
You are on it! I been trying to get young ladies to understand it’s only a double standard because we are socialized to allow it to be. But women most definitely could and should have the same standard.
God did not create double standards.. Humans did and we DO NOT have to accept them.
Your videos are always on point thank you for the wisdom
I am old fashion and Refuse to approach or Chase anyone. I’d rather be Single, disease, Drama free and Happy. Been told, that’s why I’m Still Single. 😅😂 Never alone when GOD is guiding You my darlings. 💯✅🥰🌺
That makes great sense. Only men that are established or at least well on their way to being established, in order to protect and provide for a woman and children, should be approaching any feminine that he is interested in taking on a date. If he’s not ready like that, then he surely shouldn’t be pursuing any woman and he doesn’t need any woman to be asking him on a date either, because he’s not prepared for anything but to take care of himself. So therefore it’s a waste of a woman’s time to approach any man in most instances. Only if a single woman is already well established on her own, then sometimes she may initiate chat with a male just to talk to or go out with once in awhile, but she shouldn’t expect any relationship out of it. But in a more serious romantic relationship though, a man should always take the lead role and show that he can and will provide and protect his feminine and court her accordingly. Especially for the young ladies that want to get married and have children, don’t waste your time with a man that doesn’t court you properly and show that he wants and desires only you. Men that aren’t interested in you as their one possible special woman will be distracted by the beauty, tits and ass of many women, therefore, if a man can show that he is interested in only you and is also worthy of your time and attention then make him focus in on pursuing only you as that special one for him. Single women in the meantime should focus in on being their very best selves, using their time and money on making themselves healthy, strong and attractive physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually with activities that benefit their own growth, so then they will be ready to make wise decisions in life and will be fine single or with a loving and kind man that proves he is worthy to be your mate because he was strong and brave enough to prepare himself well in advance and wanted only you. The man has to conquer his own fears and doubts in order to make himself ready for the pursuit and once he fully gets through that personal war with himself, then he is strong mentally, physically and emotionally as a man and is proud of himself and his feminine will be proud and respect him always.
Here's the saving grace: I was always too shy to approach men....
I remember Tony saying in an old video : put yourself in front of a man's eyes, if he doesn't do a bit, he don't want you ! simple as that
I learned my lesson the hard way... Thank you for spreading this message! Ladies, rest in your femininity and let the men fulfill their biological urge to chase, compete and win
Yes Mentor Tony, noted !
Tony Gaskins! You so funny 😂. Keep on telling us the truth, we need you out here, because lately my back has been against the wall.
Thank you again Tony for great advice! And humor upon delivery 😘
Glad to see ur still talking cornbread truth...we need the reminders! Thank you Tony!
It’s interesting bc when I was in a relationship with my ex we were having a conversation and I remember mentioning that I have never been the type to approach a guy and he said that when a female approaches a guy that it shows how truly confident she is
"Work while you wait " ✍🏾✍🏾✍🏾
I miss my Tony, haven't had a chance to watch in a little while!! My sentiment exactly!! I can not change what has been ingrained in me!! Thank you 🥰🤗🥰 for always always being the TRUTH 💯 of a matter 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
I got the message! IJS-When I got to the end regarding the Olympic ticket that was tear jerking funny!
Thanks bro I really appreciate your teachings 💙
This information is priceless and blessed. Thanks, Tony!
Thank you so much!! It's refreshing to know that there are men that believe in the correct order.
So many men these days EXPECT you to approach and ask them out on a date. Unbelievable!! This is because women are not making them work anymore by pursuing them.
Ladies stop pursuing men!
TONY
I HEAR YOU...
AND GOT IT ..
THANK YOU ...STAY BLESSED!!!
Tony thank you
Im going to be honest, just because a man approach you doesn't mean he wants you.
I thought the guy really wanted me and just wanted my body and when i didn't give it up, he didn't want me at alllll anymore.
I don't really approach men but they may already have other woman and just want to add you on there list.
Just trust God. He will lead and guide you ❤
TONY YOU ARE TRULY A BLESSED AND ANOINTED MAN 🙌🙌🙌
I agree with you. I have a male friend who constantly wants me to chase men. When I tell him I want to be chased by a man, he scoffs. But, he has been pursued by women his entire life. No, I want to be pursued by a man.
And how does he treat them?
I had a male friend that was the same way, scoffed too. But he is broke and doesn’t have financial stability no car no license nothing. He wants a provider 😂 not a feminine woman apparently
I disagree. Making the first move as a woman is seen as confident and that's attractive. You can initiate a conversation with a man you're interested in if you want to. Stop making all these rules. Men can't approach women these days without being seen as a creep or "harassment." All you have to do is give him the sign that says "You can talk to me" and then let the man do rest of the work.
I don’t know what it is, but Tony looking extra good in this video today 😹😹. Could b that his Alpha is being exerted in this video 😂😂. His wife is blessed! He said, “okay, and” 😂😂… he also said “dis the wrong page” 🤣🤣.. finally a real man telling grown boys to stop crying..