Stirling Braveheart Tour Guide Doesn't Give a F***
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- Опубліковано 7 лют 2025
- No, that's Stirling Castle, Edinburgh Castle's the one in Edinburgh
#funny #craigthetourguide #Scotland #braveheart #scottishhistory #scottishcomedy
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OMG - I love this!
I actually come from Stirling and every word of this is the literal truth - the only thing that doesn't quite ring true is the level of enthusiasm which is, perhaps, unrealistically high at times ...
LOL
Michael, I laughed out loud at your comment 😂
Very funny. I have been to Stirling. and get it.
@@paulhogan9812 🤣🤣 Me too!
😂😂
"Braveheart is an award-wining film about Scotland..... featuring Mel Gibson, and some of Ireland's finest actors."
An wan load a shite
Mel Gibson, the American who became an Australian actor, portraying a Scottish hero. It’s like RDJ in Tropic Thunder before RDJ in Tropic Thunder!
As a former Guide in Stirling, thank you for capturing my energy
I really hope that you weren't as over-enthusiastic as her.
@@bigfootpart4therevengeancing Not her. Craig.
@@umdisc64 Right. My mistake.
Amazing to know that women existed before 2017! This tour really is a wealth of little bits of trivia 😍
Her enthusiasm is what really sells it!
There's some women in there so that's nice isn't it. She summed it all up.
It's the flat sardonic monotone presentation that does it for me. So funny. 👌🤣🤣😂
I know right?
Excellent
Ive been to the Wallace monument three times, once because I hadnt seen it, then twice more with friends and family who insisted on seeing it. All three times the guides couldnt be bothered. Then, over in Dunbarton they couldnt be bothered either. I generally found the Scots couldnt be bothered, except to ask me a million questions about the USA in every pub I visited and not let me ever buy a round. So, thanks for that Scotland.
I had the same experience when I visited Scotland, I tried really hard to pay for a drink for over two weeks!
In contrast the bus guides in ireland were really cheerful about everything
"Oh did you see that idieet cut us up,nearly died there so we did "
@@laa4438 When we were in West Ireland we visited the Cliffs of Mohar. Amazing place. There is a small town nearby with an ancient pub attached to a newer, creepy as hell hotel where we stayed the night. As the pub was closed we looked for a restaurant and arrived outside a place that looked like a small but posh restaurant just before closing. We hadnt eaten so we went in saw the host and promised to order and take it to go. He asked, are you Americans? We replied in the affirmative. Suddenly, the owner would have none of it. He sat us down and plied us with wine while taking great delight in bringing out plate after plate of the most delicious food Ive ever eaten. He set out all these excellent dishes and wines never once asking what we wanted to order and honestly, it was fine because everything was so good. The host appeared to be both owner and chef. We chatted about this and that for hours and he would open a bottle, pour a glass for himself and for me then open another. He must have opened 7 or 8 bottles. My wife at the time (who was 7 months pregnant and I, a baby US Army Captain) began to worry that we couldnt afford the wine bill let alone the dinner he was serving us (no she didnt drink except for some sips). It was my first leave after 9/11 and we'd barely got permission to go. We had put our car on the ferry instead of getting a rental to tour Ireland. Money was tight. So, happy, enchanted by the amazing meal and conversation but quite alarmed that we might have just spent a weeks worth of our travel money on a single meal, we stoicly prepared ourselves and asked for the bill. But to our surprise the owner refused to let us pay. He asked us only to tip the staff and that the meal was on him. Of course we steadfastly offered to pay. We werent raised to take handouts or accept them. But he was adamant. He said that we had served as his willing taste testors and had done him a favor testing out a new menu he wanted to serve. Although, we werent entirely sure that this was actually true we greatfully accepted and paid his wait staff a $200 pound tip which we hoped to be an appropriate amount. We thanks him and his staff, hugged and went to the hotel (and spent a night of terror but thats another story). In the morning we went into the old pub next to the hotel and asked the staff about the restaurant. They seemed stunned. It turns out that the owner was a famous Chef who normally worked in London. We had been in his hobby kitchen, not a typical restaurant. He grew up in the town. They said it usually took months to even get a table and that it was hugely expensive. When we told them what had happened they said that the wine was probably pricier than our car. But they said it so matter of factly youd have thought it happened every day. But they said theyd never heard of him doing that before. The Irish are a strange but very interesting people. What a lovely country!
@Smokejaguar Six Now I wanna hear about the other story, you've got a knack for this!
@@Kick0a0cat Hurum. Well, here goes.
So, as I mentioned, we stayed in this old hotel up the hill next to a deep ravine. It looked like it had been a manor house of some Lord or such and been converted into a pub and hotel with an add-on that extended far back over the hill over a steep, deep ravine. The road ran next to it off towards the cliffs of Mojar.
It was ourselves and our little one with the wife preggers as preggers can be. The hostess, an older austere woman greeted us without a word. We signed the book and she guided us deep into the hotel putting us in a room way in the back. We didnt see anyone else or any cars out front. It was late so we went to our room and tried to go to sleep.
But as we shut out the light we started hearing groaning and harsh whispering outaide of our door. I'd open it to see who the hell waa doing it but there was no one there. We went back to bed and my son, aged 1 woke in his portacrib screaming and pointing to the corner of the room in sheer terror. It was very offputting. It took some time to calm him down and we moved him to our bed. But then the room became ice cold and we started hearing things bumping inside our room as if someone was right there. We turned the light on and tried to go back to bed. But things got worse.
I rose to go to the bathroom and all the drawers on the dresser were open. Then someone knocked on our door. It was 2am. I went and checked and there was no one there.
That was it. We packed all our things up and went to the front desk together. I wasnt leaving my family in that room alone. The hallway was dark and only one light was lit where there had been hall lights on before. I'm not going to lie, we were unnerved.
So we went to the desk and rang the bell. The same austere woman arrived from around the corner. I told her that we needed to switch rooms and come to the front of the hotel where there are people and lights closer to the desk. She put a key on the desk and we went to a room about 20 feet away. We had no problems the rest of the night though we kept the light on and the doors locked.
So, the next morning we packed up and went to the pub to have breakfast. When we walked in a young grizzled man seemed surprised. He asked who we were. We explained that we were guests there for the breakfast. He asked how we got in? I explained what had happened and he turned white. He said they didnt have a female night hostess. He lived there and he was the proprietor. We told him about the first room and he said that part of the hotel had been closed for years due to some, "issues". He did not elaborate. He fixed us a quick breakast and asked us to leave seeming unnerved himself. He didnt have to ask twice. We were never charged for that room either on our card. Thinking back on it, the woman never said a single word to us and never touched me or handed me anything. The key had already been on the counter the entire time. I never actually saw her drop the key. She just reached forward and I saw the key. I assumed she had put it there but thinking back on it, I never saw her touch anything.
I have no idea how the UA-cam algorithms brought you my way but I am encouraged to realize that they can actually perform something so wildly appropriate. You have gained a new subscriber.
Congrats to Craig's therapist for preventing his suicide so far. Surprised Braveheart didn't push him over the edge.
…or over the bridge that’s not in the field😎
Please explain "him".
This girl is great. I havent laughed so much since I was on a tour of warwick castle in the 80's. Made my day. Thanks.
Had so much fun doing a bus tour of Scotland this week, but every time the tour director was talking about the Jacobites (especially when we went to Culloden Battlefield which is basically just a field) I’d jump in with, “my name is Craig and I’m your tour director….” You are so hilarious. Love your work!
Happy camper,loved it
Every Scot sounds like this when talking about *Braveheart.*
Not everyone unfortunately. I've heard/seen some Scots talk up the movie as a great piece of cinema, and the line "no, historical films don't need to be completely accurate" is usually uttered somewhere in their argument.
- Coming from an American.
P.S. Instead of pretending to be a Scottish highlander, Gibson should do what he's best at. Pretending to be an Australian post-apocalyptic road warrior.
Cause its utter shite
I mean I too would be depressed talking about the "FREEEEEDOM!!!"-movie if I was still being told what to do by a twat in London 750-ish years later...
Kinda like the English get depressed about every version of the song "Three Lions" since 1966...
By far the best part of this video is the passing reference to the Mel Gibson statue in Brechin. Google it if you want to see his orgasm face.
I can't stop laughing, your portrayal of a guide is brilliant
"This is Bannockburn, where the famous battle took place. As you can see, it's still just a field. Fascinating, isn't it?"
Its very … fieldy …
No one knows where the battle took place.
@@trevorlambert4226 Actually it's marked pretty clearly on Ordnance Survey maps and the terrain does make sense.
@@ruadhbran There are two sites considered by experts as possibilities. Until that's down to one possible site, that means we don't know. The one thing they agree on is that the marked site, complete with a visitor centre and statue, is not correct.
Your deadpan delivery is perfect! Love it! I want her as my tour guide! God that would be hilarious!
"It's there to make a lot of white Americans feel very patriotic and the rest of us feel slightly nauseated" - this is ABSOLUTELY TRUE! I saw "Braveheart" in the theater with another couple and the wife, a younger and rather stupid woman, was of Irish ancestry - she latched onto the role of that one guy (did he have a scarface?) who showed up at the crucial moment to save the day and she preened and strutted about as if SHE'd herself been the hero, personally! Barf.
“…What houses a massive fuck-off sword…” I would pay to hear a tour spiel with that level of wit.
The sword you are refering to, is in the Willaim Wallace monument at Stirling, I saw them there, a few years ago, now, and my impression was " holy shit" the guys that were wielding those things must have had great stamina. OR, indeed, the F -off bit came from the lips of those men, when after two or three swings, exhausted,they uttered the words - ' bollocks to this' let's Fk off'
@@anthonytaylor9232 Greatswords were actually fairly light. The montante, a sword that would usually measure a foot longer than a Scottish greatsword, stopped at about 7 pounds (3.175 kg). After all, if they tired out after three swings, they'd just get killed by someone with a lighter and faster weapon.
You're bloody brilliant, I love all your content. Especially poor Craig, bless him 😂💕💕
Am a Geordie what's with a Scottish accent?
I assumed Craig was a woman...
Really! Poor Craig. It's not that he doesn't give a phuq, he's tired. How many jobs does he have?
@@JenSell1626 HAhaha!
Everything about these videos is hilarious to me, from the delivery to the deadpan stare, to the moments when Craig thinks he's gone and done or said something clever, looks around, and is briefly chagrined by how no one appreciates it. Masterful.
Your "Craigs" are my favorites of all of your hysterical videos and I absolutely adore this one the most . As a white north American, my 15 yo self very definitely felt that undeserved sense of "patriotism"; nauseated came along when I got older.
Why would Braveheart make you feel patriotic?
@@treacherousjslither6920 Cuzz FREEDOM!!!
@@1tulip lol
Fancies himself in a dress this lad.
“… it’s nice to know there were some Scottish women alive before 2017.”
Your videos never fail to make me crack up. The deadpan, underwhelming levels of enthusiasm are brilliant.
"...a stone tower what houses a massive fuck off sword, that may or may not have belonged to William Wallace..." 🤣🤣🤣🗡🏴
Omg! Eleanor always gets me with “My name’s Craig”😂
This is the 3rd video of yours I have watched and I have to say, You are a comic genius! Well done and Bravo... you' made a new fan.
I haven't laughed this hard in a long, long time. Best find in the UA-cam rabbit hole in a while.
I am absolutely in love with this woman lol
I have to say that I found you last night - the wonders of the UA-cam algo always astound me given that I mainly watch boxing, MMA and Veritasium videos! I have binge watched an awful lot of your content in the last 18 hours. You’re fantastic - clever, funny and photogenic to boot - what a combo.
How the hell have I missed this channel for so long? OMG! I'm dying!
Mrs red you are truly a hidden gem and I hope the rest of the world gets to hear you and see you... That's truly my pleasure to have stumbled upon your videos
Sent links to various "Craig" clips to friends and family & visited your Ko-fi...I don't understand why more people haven't seen you. Every one of these are laugh-out-loud funny.
Goddamn’t I can’t wait to take one of Craig’s tours! 😂
This is 100% the greatest thing I've seen today. Loved your whisky tour as well Craig.
"Come with me now," always gets me.😂🤣😂🤣
I have been to Stirling. My mother's family comes from Stirling and my 3x great grandfather and grandmother are buried in the cemetery next to the castle. I found it to be a really nice town and the people were friendly.
naebedy cares.
@@fiedelmina I do. Stop being a grumpy downer. Have a little fun in life already. If it makes you feel better, I did not visit the William Wallace tower. I did go to a couple of pubs. Velvet beer was my drink of choice.
Loved the mention of Gone With the Wind..haha.
I’ve taken this tour and honestly, she’s not far off on this one lol! 🏴
Having toured your country, I find this hilarious! Thank you!🤣
I think she has more enthusiasm for gone with the wind than anything else I’ve heard from her
My favorite part of the tour was watching William Wallace as the father of that little girl from Brave. And when he visited his cousins and became a fully trained hilander with someone who looked mysterously like Sean Connery.
This is one of the funniest things I've seen, she's brilliant!
"Remember, we sell American snacks in the gift shoppe--they may take our lives, but they'll ne'er take our Fritos!"
Yeah. I was planning to make a nice springtime journey to Stirling Bridge…. then when I learned it wasn’t even in that classical historical masterpiece, BRAVEHEART, I spent my money on an authentic historically accurate 13th century kilt and some blue make up.
Absolutely brilliant! My sides ache 😂🤣 Super talent. 👍👏👏👏👏
This is one of my favorite videos (they all are) but as someone who spent 50 years in the Film Industry your summing up of Gone with the Wind is spot on. I wish you would tour America!
you always get a good jumper in scotland, you know the wool has been well pre tested by the sheep on account of the rain there
Your best yet, as I loved my trip to Sterling and the Wallace Monument, shame Craig wasn't there, must have been his day off. 🤣
Hey young lady. You are a breath of fresh air. Keep going lassie. 🤣😄👍🇿🇦
I really have seen Tour guides who wear those super fake smiley faces ......you can tell they are bored out of their butts and can't wait until the end to get off home to their Marijuana and coffee ! This Woman is great !
Thanks to Craig for good and enthusiastic lesson on Wallace and Hollywood's usual mush up with period costumes and location. 😄
Never seen the film, although there are many actors that I like, but already in 1995 had had enough of Mr. Gibson.
Is nobody else like absolutely in love with this girl
I have been laughing out loud at you for twenty minutes! Brilliant!
I absolutely love your unimpressed Scottish accent. Fucking spot-on
I was in Stirling visiting my girlfriend who lived there. One of her friends asked me what I thought of Stirling, and I (American) answered "Everybody sounds like Shrek!" - hah
This actually makes me want to visit Scotland lol
I love how every tour guide is Craig. This guy really needs a change of pace.
I can safely say I'm not the only one who is in love with the beautiful, sweet and brilliant Eleanor.
I come from Stirling, still live here… every word of this is true! 🤣
I've not done a tour but I was in Sterling on a holiday. It was a beautiful area. I walked in the hills which overlooked the town and the monument. A wonderful day to hike.
HAHAHA!!!!! A massive fuck-off sword.... Oh gawd, I'm dying here.....
What you mean doesnt give a f? That is just how scottish people are and what i love about them!
A perfect impression of every tour guide in the world
This is spot-on. We've all met a Craig.
We all have been a Craig.
I would love to hear Craig talk about his fond memories of being a tour-guide.
How rewarding it must have been to educate so many curious people over the years!
What were some of the insightful questions that stick in your mind, Craig?
that is too good!
I would take this tour over and over again just to hear her lovely soothing voice, her beautiful Scottish accent and to see her pretty face.
She’s gorgeous!
I feel me and Craig are kindred spirits on this matter lol
Hi, Craig! Just magical!
Love Craig.
Brilliant as fuck, her enthusiasm is infectious!
I just can't stop watching, hahaha
Mel Gibson Scottish accent was almost as convincing as Sean connerys Russian accent.
i'd book a round trip for all those attractions in Scotland with Craig as the tour guide!
Just found you Eleanor, bloody brilliant 🤣 still laughing 😜🌹🌹🌹
“My name’s Craig” 😂
The red wig lends a wee bit of authentic feels
I love how the inaccuracies of the film are pointed out.
Love it! Shared to my Medieval Mirthy & Jollity group!
Brilliant, simply brilliant!
Aint gonna lie, I feel all patriotic when Mel yells "FREEDOM!"... almost as much as the Star Spangled Banner!
Soldier at the Back: What did he say ?
Another Soldier at the Back: Something about lying in your bed.
Yet Another Soldier at the Back: Surely that's just a metaphor for the human condition.
Another Soldier at the Back: Yeah I'm not sure of the relevance. Oops, game face on, here he comes again.
I've been working with the Scottish Tartans Museum for 20 years, and I can't tell you how many hundreds (thousands???) of times I've had to explain the Braveheart Misnomer. haha Awesome video.
I love this girls posts. She's very funny and I look forward to more.
I've just stumbled on this. It's very funny. I never realised that Scots had such a developed sense of humour without even mentioning the English.
This young lady is freaking hilarious
OMG, my first trip to Scotland (my wife grew up there, but I didn’t go until later), we went to the Wallace Monument and saw the hideous Mel Gibson statue. Wasn’t until we got home and looked at the pictures, that I saw the statue included the Duke of York’s severed head at Mel's feet. So funny. You’re hilarious, lass!
"a massive fuck-off sword" ...hilarious!
Mel Gibson and some of Ireland's finest actors 😂😂😂 stop!
The "Ginger Ninja of Comedy". Keep up the great work!
You are friggen hilarious!!!🤣🤣🤣😍
you gotta love how hollywood distorts history. the titanic was a love story don't you know?
These are 👍 great!! Well done!!
Thanks UA-cam!!! As an American I get History and the best deadpan 😑 Comedy ever! And the accent rules!!
This channel is quite funny. I live in Stirling, New Jersey.
All the enthusiasm of a graduate student teaching assistant in their fourth year of working on a masters degree.
From an Aussie male, I love this Scottish lassies dry sense of humour. She really doesn't give a f**k. She is the heiress to Billy Connoly's Scottish comedy throne. Well done lass.
The strange thing, she exaggerated nothing.........everything she said is true.
She's English - this is just a character but she nails the Scottish accent.
@@Seansaighdeoir Oops my apologies to Craig if she was upset for me calling her Scottish. it was just that she did such a brilliant impersonation, she had me completely fooled.
@@Seansaighdeoir her bio says she's a Scottish actor and comedian.
@@graememckay9972 ok thanks, I stand corrected.
Bless the algorithm for bringing me to your videos hahaha.
🤣🤣🤣 Love this girl..! Lol ♥️
Stirling comes out as Stalin for me a few times which makes this even more interesting. Stalin's battle of Sterling Bridge.
My name is craaiig cracked me up lol
This is perfect!! So true about GWTW… I grew up near Atlanta near where Tara supposedly was
Lol bloody hell! So informative!!
I'm binge watching, now I've found these.
Okay looks like I'm binging these huh
I used to drink with James Cosmo in the Speakers Corner pub at end of Sauchiehall St and Charing Cross.