Specially delicious is the way the joke obviously falls dead to the floor with the dullards in the audience. Craig's reaction to their lack of reaction is just beautiful.
You're really making me want to visit Scotland, but I'm afraid I'll go there and every tour guide will be some flavor of sunny outgoing enthusiastic go-getter and I'll be hideously disappointed.
If I find myself in Scotland, I'll just kidnap her so I can have her lead me on the tours of every place I want to visit! We could start with the Covenanter's Prison in the Greyfriar's Abbey since she sounds like she's from Edinburgh.
When I was in the army a friend of mine got dishonourable discharged for stealing from the NAAFI. When he got asked why he did it, his response was “it was a kitKat come on any one would!”
There's a bald black cab driver in Edinburgh who my son and I once hopped in his cab and asked for £20 worth of a tour. He was delightful, charming and quite sunny, telling us about myriad untimely deaths and murders, most of the victims of which seemed to be 'another student from France...' They'd fall off Arthur's Seat and land in that lake on the far side of the road, "Bottomless.... It's ne'r been measured.." My son Googled. "12 feet," which only added to the fun and reassured us he wasn't a serial killer of tourists - or at least not a competent one . Craig probably knows him.
I met this guide, but it was an Italian woman working at Dublin Castle. After the tour she straight up asked us "Why the hell did you come here, there is nothing to see". (Disclaimer: there was a lot to see and it was beautiful, she was just very Craig)
Yeah, 'cause I'm tripping over castles all the time here in the U.S. (actually there is one just down the street but that's weird, and they've turned it into a Mexican restaurant, also weird).
The big, black emptyness only came into being some time _after_ the Big Bang. Parts of it are still out there, covering 90% of the universe, but you can't see it from here because of light pollution. Laniakea ruining the view for all of us.
Has Craig ever been to the Burns Shopping Mall in Kilmarnock, though? On the 31st it will be impossible to tell who's dressed up for Halloween and who isnae. 😂
1. I really want to go to Glamis Castle. 2. Why does Craig keep getting fired from all his tour guide gigs? He really gets around 😂😂 or maybe they're just all cousins 😂😂
I'm glad UA-cam decided to recommend your videos to a whole new group of people. It's great discovering such talent and having access to a fantastic backlog.
Hi, yes this commenter is right. I'm French Canadian, and a cheeky one at that. I am very interested in UK culture. I'm surprised these never showed up before on my recommended list.
Every tour guide I've ever had is perky, and makes everything so exciting. You make me actually want a tour guide that has a personality of 'I want to die'.
If reality show ghost hunters showed Craig's level of enthusiasm and passion I might actually watch some of their videos. Adrenalated and jacked-up reactions to every passing shadow annoy me and probably scare the ghosts half to death.
Hi. We're The ghost bunkers. Come with us now as we investigate the thrill and Ghosts of old American buildings. Yes, this old house was built (*sigh*) 50 years ago, and in that time a Dog, 3 Budgies and an Old Woman...'s Cat died here. Wonderful.
Side note, I’m sceptical of tour guides, but when I visited Caernarvon castle with a couple of friends, they wanted a guided tour, and it was magical. There was an elderly guy who was immensely knowledgable and entertaining. We got the feeling he’d met and exchanged wheezes with Ed the First himself.
That Craig guy sure is busy around Scotland! Of course I hope you are happy that if I ever visit Scotland and I have a tour guide named Craig I won't have any choice but laugh the whole tour.
That pause on the joke is very nostalgic. Listening to the adults laugh while the tour guide looks dead inside and the kids do the fake "I know what they're talking about" laugh.
In all seriousness though, I'd love to visit Glamis castle. I'm especially interested in the legend of the 'monster' and I wrote a short story inspired by it.
When I was living in Scotland I actually broke into the castle on loch Leven. It was winter and the ice was frozen. Since the tours were closed, I figuresd give myself one and walked across the ice. By the time police arrived, I had already escaped the castle and the cops were too scared to come on the ice. "If ye fall through we aren't coming to get ya" "sounds like it's not your f***ing problem then"
M'name is Craig. Note it's spelled _Craig,_ but it's pronounced _Craig._ If you need a way to remember, think of me, Craig. Not Hugh. Don't think of Hugh.
Just discovering your videos. I love them! Dry,satcastic wit done wonderfully. Of Scottish ancestry (grandfather came to canada as a teen near the end og WWI) and was lucky enough to get to visit in 1994. Loved it,cant wait to get back for a visit.
Tour guide clocking out at the end of the day spooky sounds in the hallway, and the ghosts appear: "Good job laying low everybody" people love to come to haunted places where absolutely nothing happens over and over to get lucky enough to see something, and we all make money!. See ya tomorrow,if I care enough to show up."
I wish she would show some enthusiasm. If she thinks it's dreary, then what am I, as a paying visitor to the castle, supposed to think? Also, she has a very thick accent and can be hard to understand. I would wait for the next tour guide or just not go on the tour.
I do not go on a lot of tours. So I have some difficulty remembering a docent from years ago. If you want your attraction to be remembered through the years, then I suggest that you employ Craig. I have watched his work on several of these videos. I won't soon forget the excitement and suspense he generates as it builds to a crescendo at the finale.
loved the pause after making a joke... craig knows comedic timing
Specially delicious is the way the joke obviously falls dead to the floor with the dullards in the audience. Craig's reaction to their lack of reaction is just beautiful.
That's the most animated I've ever seen Craig.
You're really making me want to visit Scotland, but I'm afraid I'll go there and every tour guide will be some flavor of sunny outgoing enthusiastic go-getter and I'll be hideously disappointed.
If I find myself in Scotland, I'll just kidnap her so I can have her lead me on the tours of every place I want to visit! We could start with the Covenanter's Prison in the Greyfriar's Abbey since she sounds like she's from Edinburgh.
Highly unlikely 😂😂😂
I just bought tickets to Glasgow 😆
The only ones I know like that are the Harry Potter tour guides in Edinburgh
Imagine they weren't so called Craig. What's the point even?
I love the smile after the admission prices, and then just drops it
Even Craig’s smile is weak and weary.
At that point, I couldn’t stop laughing
this is my favorite Craig tour yet
I'm literally crying and it's not because of Hugh at reception
Seriously though, watch out for Hugh. He’s a weird guy…
I came here to say this! 🤣🤣
Craig has a bunch of jobs, but absolutely gives it his 10% every time. What a legend.....
When Craig started talking about swapping his passport for a kit-Kat, that's the moment I'll timidly rise my hand and ask "can you elaborate on that?"
When I was in the army a friend of mine got dishonourable discharged for stealing from the NAAFI. When he got asked why he did it, his response was “it was a kitKat come on any one would!”
There's a bald black cab driver in Edinburgh who my son and I once hopped in his cab and asked for £20 worth of a tour. He was delightful, charming and quite sunny, telling us about myriad untimely deaths and murders, most of the victims of which seemed to be 'another student from France...' They'd fall off Arthur's Seat and land in that lake on the far side of the road, "Bottomless.... It's ne'r been measured.." My son Googled. "12 feet," which only added to the fun and reassured us he wasn't a serial killer of tourists - or at least not a competent one . Craig probably knows him.
I think that might be my big cousin Darren Smith. I’d love it if it was 😂
Plot twist, maybe you had the honor of meeting Craig in real life...
@@largol33t1 - If he was "delightful, charming and quite sunny," probably not...
🤣🤣🤣
@@Snarkapotamus he just really likes driving his hearse around
That hopeful look quickly turning to naked resentment when no one appreciated the admission prices joke is perfection. JFC 🤣
I want to see a commercial for KFC with JFC in it.
I would seriously visit Scotland if I could get Craig to do the tour.
Be my luck Craig would have a list and I wouldn’t be able to get a reservation.
I met this guide, but it was an Italian woman working at Dublin Castle. After the tour she straight up asked us "Why the hell did you come here, there is nothing to see".
(Disclaimer: there was a lot to see and it was beautiful, she was just very Craig)
Yeah, 'cause I'm tripping over castles all the time here in the U.S. (actually there is one just down the street but that's weird, and they've turned it into a Mexican restaurant, also weird).
I'm convinced Craig doesn't care what tour he's guiding, he'd rather time travel back to before the big bang when there was just big, empty blackness.
Primeval Void Tour Guide Doesn't Give A F**k
And here we have a confusing version o nuthin slash every thing.
The big, black emptyness only came into being some time _after_ the Big Bang.
Parts of it are still out there, covering 90% of the universe, but you can't see it from here because of light pollution. Laniakea ruining the view for all of us.
He'd never find a KikKat when he wanted one, tho
Has Craig ever been to the Burns Shopping Mall in Kilmarnock, though? On the 31st it will be impossible to tell who's dressed up for Halloween and who isnae. 😂
1. I really want to go to Glamis Castle. 2. Why does Craig keep getting fired from all his tour guide gigs? He really gets around 😂😂 or maybe they're just all cousins 😂😂
I'm glad UA-cam decided to recommend your videos to a whole new group of people. It's great discovering such talent and having access to a fantastic backlog.
Hi, yes this commenter is right. I'm French Canadian, and a cheeky one at that. I am very interested in UK culture. I'm surprised these never showed up before on my recommended list.
Craig says........thank you. 😑
Six months from now, when Scottish tourism skyrockets, you will be well-justified to demand a share of the profits... 🏴💰
I love how on every guide 'Craig' says come with me now... it's like a running gag
Probably an “ambling laconically” gag
Every tour guide I've ever had is perky, and makes everything so exciting. You make me actually want a tour guide that has a personality of 'I want to die'.
I like the way Craig is adding jokes to his tours. Good ones Craig.
I love Craig. Craig is always awesome. Let's all go with him now.
"He's a weird guy" delivery is real cherry on a top!
The admission prices joke is now one of my favorite things on UA-cam, right after the Lewis and Tolkien shorts. This is comedy GOLD.
I want to hear the withering disdain with which Craig would lead a tour group in singing “I belong to Glasgow”
Yes, yes I did feel slightly uncomfortable. I waited for the scary sound and my side started to hurt because I was laughing so hard.
If reality show ghost hunters showed Craig's level of enthusiasm and passion I might actually watch some of their videos. Adrenalated and jacked-up reactions to every passing shadow annoy me and probably scare the ghosts half to death.
Hi. We're The ghost bunkers. Come with us now as we investigate the thrill and Ghosts of old American buildings. Yes, this old house was built (*sigh*) 50 years ago, and in that time a Dog, 3 Budgies and an Old Woman...'s Cat died here. Wonderful.
Someone please tell Craig I laughed at the admission price joke! 🤣
oh Craig, I would have laughed at your great joke about admission prices!
I did feel slightly uncomfortable, so this has been a successful tour. Thank you.
slightly uncomfortable... :-D
Craig is more dead inside than the ghosts are overall
Dear Craig,
Was there more to that passport story or are you just pulling our leg? Thanks, Ian
"Spooky noises have been heard," best line ever!
Could just be haggis aftereffects
"but not today" 🤣
@@roddy6924 You beat me to it. Lol
Spooky noises have been heard...... but not today.
Side note, I’m sceptical of tour guides, but when I visited Caernarvon castle with a couple of friends, they wanted a guided tour, and it was magical. There was an elderly guy who was immensely knowledgable and entertaining. We got the feeling he’d met and exchanged wheezes with Ed the First himself.
Is that sexual innuendo?
Sometimes a wheeze is just a wheeze.
Craig making a joke is my favourite thing ever.
That Craig guy sure is busy around Scotland! Of course I hope you are happy that if I ever visit Scotland and I have a tour guide named Craig I won't have any choice but laugh the whole tour.
Seriously... we’re you a tour guide? I’m getting some jaded employee vibes...
Perfect dead pan delivery! My new favorite!!!
Any chance of getting to see Hugh?? Surely he couldn't out-Craig Craig 🤣🤣🤣
Craig gets around a lot. Guess Craig has a difficult time holding onto a job.
He's constantly being head-hunted for his knowledge by other employers.
I would pay for you to do actual tours like this 🤣
"A ghostly pale woman what haunts the grounds" although you have to be careful not to get her mixed up with Mary. Easy way to tell, Mary is paler.
I love your videos! You crack me up with your deadpan sense of humour!😂
after two years of covid I finally discover the greatest channel on youtube.
#heisaweirdguy
Plot Twist: The place IS haunted, and the Tour Guide is actually one of the ghosts.
That pause on the joke is very nostalgic. Listening to the adults laugh while the tour guide looks dead inside and the kids do the fake "I know what they're talking about" laugh.
I’ve been that tour guide for a short season. I was a student and needed the money. I’d like to say it was worth it, but y’know? Craig is all of us 😂
This Craig guy gets around.
It's probably his master plan to get paid to travel through all of Scotland by being fired from one tour guide job to the next.
- -and that's just the admission prices ...
These sketches really make me to go to Scotland
What about the ghost of the Queen Mother looking for a wee dram?
I love the admission prices
I certainly appreciated the wry smile.
Poor Hugh at reception 🤣🤣🤣
"you cannae look worse that that"....
If I ever die, I want Craig to read my eulogy.
"this place is white lady Mecca" 😳🤣😂
In all seriousness though, I'd love to visit Glamis castle. I'm especially interested in the legend of the 'monster' and I wrote a short story inspired by it.
To be fair, Kit Kats are delicious.
When I was living in Scotland I actually broke into the castle on loch Leven. It was winter and the ice was frozen. Since the tours were closed, I figuresd give myself one and walked across the ice. By the time police arrived, I had already escaped the castle and the cops were too scared to come on the ice. "If ye fall through we aren't coming to get ya" "sounds like it's not your f***ing problem then"
Frozen ice? That's a new one.
I broke into an art museum once. Didn't see anything worth stealing.
Groundskeeper Willie!
The look about for a laugh at the admissions joke cracked me up
I saw you smile!!!
Poor Craig, even when he tries he’s not appreciated. :(
_"This place is white lady Mecca. "_
😆😆😆
I would unironically like this Craig to be my tour guide if (WHEN) I visit Scotland
Going in September for a wedding. Totally hope Craig is my guide for something.
M'name is Craig. Note it's spelled _Craig,_ but it's pronounced _Craig._ If you need a way to remember, think of me, Craig.
Not Hugh. Don't think of Hugh.
You are hysterical! I just subscribed.
I just found your channel. I've never been to Scotland but feel like I have. Funny stuff.
"Has anybody ever told you you're cute when you're dour?"
genius PUA for Scotswomen, apropos of freckles,
- Annette
'...that's because of Hugh at reception' - well he does have a conviction for worrying dogs...
I keep telling myself - "I'll just watch one more......"
I saw a smirk. Your Chauffeur J Bruce, Hollywood North 🇨🇦
Just discovering your videos.
I love them! Dry,satcastic wit done wonderfully.
Of Scottish ancestry (grandfather came to canada as a teen near the end og WWI) and was lucky enough to get to visit in 1994. Loved it,cant wait to get back for a visit.
The passport anecdote explains why Craig has so many tour guide jobs.
It's like Bruce Fumey & John Cleese had a baby and out popped Ms Morton!!
There is a 1953 horror film based on this legend. The Maze. I have to say the movie would have been much better if Craig was in it. Remake time?
You always make me laugh. Thank you. Come to the US. I'd love to hear your commentary about us. Lots of good stuff to work with.
Craig is comically uninspired but his eyes are bright, clear, and beautiful.
Please due a commentary at St. Andrews Goff Tournament.
Brilliant, I only just found your channel and am now bingeing your videos. Very much my sense of humour xx
Is Craig the most employable person in Scotland?
Tour guide clocking out at the end of the day spooky sounds in the hallway, and the ghosts appear: "Good job laying low everybody" people love to come to haunted places where absolutely nothing happens over and over to get lucky enough to see something, and we all make money!. See ya tomorrow,if I care enough to show up."
Oh god, that little smirk. Am sorry but am in love.
Wow Craig sure gets around; or maybe there are just a lot of Craigs in Scotland. I think Craig Ferguson is a "Craig".
I think I went to this place. Our tour guide was American.
Im not shure why i find this hialarious but i do....Keep Up the Good work hail from sweden
I wish she would show some enthusiasm. If she thinks it's dreary, then what am I, as a paying visitor to the castle, supposed to think? Also, she has a very thick accent and can be hard to understand. I would wait for the next tour guide or just not go on the tour.
I did visit the Castle and I do remember a secret room and the towels being mentioned. A nice park and some funny looking highland cows outside.
I don't know exactly what you do for a living or care. You don't get pay'd enough.
Almost broke character and started laughing.
Thanks Eleanor for the laugh. Your a right cheeky girl…keep up the snark!
You should definitely try to get a deal with the Scottish tourism board! What a fun way to promote the country!
You, madam, have my subscription. A good day to you!
I do not go on a lot of tours. So I have some difficulty remembering a docent from years ago. If you want your attraction to be remembered through the years, then I suggest that you employ Craig. I have watched his work on several of these videos. I won't soon forget the excitement and suspense he generates as it builds to a crescendo at the finale.
Why did I find this channel *now?* I have work to do.
Fuck.
I get ASMR feeling while listening to that lovely voice and accent - I know am not sane lol...🙃
I think this one is my favorite so far! I have been on my own journey with Craig with through the wilds of your channel 😆😆
Swapping your passport for a KitKat, classic Craig!
Oh shit this is funny! I'll be laughing my ass of before the first two pitchers of beer.
Eleanor, you are great! No rusty brain here, just on fire! My fav red head!
Poor Craig, he was so proud of that joke about the admission price ;o;
I had to Google Glamis Castle it's beautiful, but you can tell that it has a creepy vibe.