I actually used to be a steward at Edinburgh Castle, and this is pretty spot-on for your inner monologue when you're on day 6, the group is completely stone-faced and it's been drizzling all day. The only one you missed is: "To any Americans in the audience - no, that's not France and that isn't the Eiffel Tower, that's the Burntisland Radio Mast in Fife."
I just came home from a short visit to Edinburgh /St. Andrews. Obviously lots of American tourists do not know geography, and so my caddie took time to explain where France, Spain, and Portugal was in relation to the UK.
My Edinburgh tour guide actually was named Craig. I think his mom was supposed to be the real tour guide but she roped him into it because she was busy. “Och aye, Craig will show you around the city.” We think he was a bit high, but he was entertaining and we did make it back more or less on time.
@@patrickkelly7085 yeah it is one of those thing men or boys like eg if when we see a well the urge to drop a stone to hear the sound is something that brings joy or when we see a big pond or any big water body we like to skip stone on it. So yes u r correct unless u are referring to only Indian then I have no clue
"At one point the gun would've helped people to tell the time. Now it's just there to keep the people of Leith on their toes." I get that it's just a joke about the noise, but I like to imagine that the neighborhood has a "bald spot" surrounding an ever-deepening crater and that it's anybody's guess whether or not the gun's fully-loaded _this_ time.
Love your tours. May actually visit some of these places now, never had the inclination before, but growing up in an "historical" area with a similar attitude makes me nostalgic.
The train from Glasgow to Edinburgh. The conductor over the loudspeaker: "arrffff oooO arrfff arrfff eeeedeen oh-ar... eee arrfff". Me: ????? Scottish Girl I'm with: "we'll be arriving in about 10 minutes. The weather is pretty nice and Tesco is having a sale on bananas"
Praise Craig, the best tour guide! And now I'm wondering if there is a specific backstory to why Craig and Sheila don't get along. Probably because I've spent way too much time on the internet.
Craig sounds like me in my last year as a local tour guide. This is where we process the milk, yes.....you may take pictures....Yes that's the skyr shit....*Sigh* No you may not taste it. Over here we have a thing that's *Sigh* Oh so very important, do not forget the gift shop on your way out *Sigh* Thank you for visiting this ass end of nowhere......Did i say that out loud?
as a child i was so sad to hear Mons Meg doesn't actually fire a cannonball each time. I think I cried. Now I'm an adult and I realize how absurd it would be, it's a twenty inch cannon! regardless, during the tour I listened to little and stared at the large display of revolvers. I wonder if they still keep a few of those on display
Our tour guide at Edinburgh Castle told us that they used to pour boiling hot porridge on any invaders. I was howling, the Americans just stood and nodded.
Did the castle tour in 1984. Still recall the retired soldier who was the tour guide. He was charming, very funny, and wouldn’t stop pestering me about my hair. Same colour as yours … Mom was from Glasgow, and she, my eldest sister and I bear the curse of the Freckled Ginger. Thanks, Mom, lol. Greetings from Ontario, Canada! 🇨🇦🖖🏻🇨🇦
Now I know what I missed on 2018 when I visited from the states and rode a motorbike on the North Coast 500. In Edinburgh we took an open bus tour and strolled around town and enjoyed it. Somehow we skipped the castle tour and deep fried Mars bars but had plenty of haggis and Cullen Skink.
Deep fried mars bars are more of a Glasgow thing, though I can recommend Cromars in St Andrews if you want a slightly bougie one from our second-best* chippie. Glad you appreciated our other offerings!. *Some say it's the best, but I reckon that the one doon the road in Anstruther is slightly better if you don't mind a queue.
I got the chance to visit Edinburgh Castle in August of 2014 when in the UK for the World Science Fiction Convention. We were on our way up to Westray (Orkney Islands) to visit some relatives, and decided to sightsee for a day between flights. When we got up to the castle, it was raining & misting so hard, you couldn't see the tops of the nearby parapets from the ticket line, and -wimps- I mean, other sight-seers escaped the line to head back down for -safety-...I mean, a drier location. My mother and I, being from the Seattle area, looked at each other, grinned, and I said, "It's just like home, isn't it?" "Yes, in the springtime!" And we giggled & stayed in line.
My partner was from Quebec.He was always puzzled by the fact that this country was never,ever,ready for snow & everything ground to a halt if there was more than an inch of the white stuff.He said you had never experienced a real winter if u hadn't known a Canadian one.
Nooo... it's hilarious, but the complete opposite of what I experienced when I visited Edinburgh Castle 😂 Our tour guide might have been called Craig, I don't know, but he was funny and energetic and enthusiastic. He also told us that the motto of Scotland, "Nemo me impune lacessit", means "never sit on a thistle when you're wearing a kilt".
Despite the arctic cold, be sure to remove your hat in certain parts of the tour or soldiers will remind you in that polite Scottish way that implies violence is imminent. Was so unnerving I forgot to buy a clan magnet.
I was an Edinburgh tour guide and a woman came flapping out of the royal mile Starbucks once at quarter past one, camera in hand, exclaiming “Did I miss it?! … well, when is it going to go off again today?”
May I some "Holms Clan Magnets ... And maybe some pencils??? Also a swatch of cloth with the genuine Holms Clan Tartan on it? Yes, I am American. A Loch Ness pool float toy would be nice, also. Many thanks in Scotch.....😀
After having watched over a score of your videos I have come to the opinion that this particular video is my favorite. Your summation of Mary's life broke my heart and Craig's invitation to email all further questions was perfect. What time is the gun fired every day?😂
@@sarahmayjohn If they had to fire the gun at noon, they would have had to fire 12 times. So that's 12 times more expensive than moving it to 1 o'clock.
I have been asked, and no im not kidding, ''what time does the 1 o'clock gun go off?'' Another favourite - ''Isn't it neat that they built the castle so close to the shops?''
I've visited Edinburgh Castle and ... this isn't bad at all. Also, if you're in Edinburgh, visit a very old cemetery where you'll see some familiar names: McGonagal, Tom Riddel, etc. from Harry Potter. Rowling must have drawn some inspiration from that place.
Cymro Di ... but to make it international & SO correct we will go with the one size fits anything parlance of the time of our time. Nail their balls !!
I recommend staying at Dalhousie Castle just outside Edinburgh. Instead of putting chocolate on your pillow at night, they use a small bottle Macallan whisky.
I plan to memorize all of these and pretend to be a Scottish tour guide when we get over there. Whenever I get depressed by the glib talking heads on TV, I watch these to get a lift from the cynical humor.
Dear Sheila, where is the loo in this place? And is it only for looks or can I really use it? Either way, I think I am going to be dropping off "The Big Job" here today.
I think she just needs to come to Sandusky Ohio United States of America... And work the same job however bringing people onto roller coasters... She would get paid better she would have better food she would have better company and I believe she'd actually have fun
Poor Craig. He just doesn't realize that he's NOT a tour guide as such and that he's actually inside Spandau Prison Castle. After they shoved Hess out, they locked Craig up there because he'd presented himself as being the reincarnation of Robert the Bruce, and then went on to claim that he was the current and outright King of Scotland. Adi Amin and Gaddafi spent some time there as well. That's where they "place" all of the self-proclaimed Scottish kings these days.
So I blew a bit o quid on some delrin pipes next door. I just didn't feel I'd been ripped off enough up at the castle. I ded see a right cheerful dog cemetery so that might a made up fer it.
If someone in Edinburgh approaches you and asks "Wid ye like tae see Wee Boabie?" - do NOT pay up until you're certain it's Greyfriars they're talking about. Important safety tip.
I just watched one on the Scottish Parliament and I was surprised there weren’t any comments. I wanted to make a comment, but I was afraid to make a comment. You know, how you don’t want to be the one to break the silence at a funeral? Or a mixer?
I actually used to be a steward at Edinburgh Castle, and this is pretty spot-on for your inner monologue when you're on day 6, the group is completely stone-faced and it's been drizzling all day.
The only one you missed is: "To any Americans in the audience - no, that's not France and that isn't the Eiffel Tower, that's the Burntisland Radio Mast in Fife."
I just came home from a short visit to Edinburgh /St. Andrews. Obviously lots of American tourists do not know geography, and so my caddie took time to explain where France, Spain, and Portugal was in relation to the UK.
My Edinburgh tour guide actually was named Craig. I think his mom was supposed to be the real tour guide but she roped him into it because she was busy. “Och aye, Craig will show you around the city.” We think he was a bit high, but he was entertaining and we did make it back more or less on time.
Blessed be Craig.
All hail Craig!!! :)
Wee Craig, Sláinte! 🍻 😂
that's hilarious!
😂
Anybody else sucked in by her videos and mesmerized into watching one after another?
Yep. Went on a nearly 90 minute binge on Saturday. It was great!
"90% of our revenue comes from selling magnets to Americans".. I bought 4 magnets from my trip 😂
yeah makes sense if indian go there we would do the same magnet they are fun to play with
You must have been attracted to them.
@@patrickkelly7085 yeah it is one of those thing men or boys like eg if when we see a well the urge to drop a stone to hear the sound is something that brings joy or when we see a big pond or any big water body we like to skip stone on it. So yes u r correct unless u are referring to only Indian then I have no clue
@@arkplaysgame3826 I guess the magnet and you being attracted went over your head.
@@patrickkelly7085 yup it flew pass my head woosh
“But she’s very annoying and I’d like to see her suffer.” Hahahah
That's what a True Scot would say!
I swear: I NEVER laugh out loud. That cracked me up. I’m still laughing.
'....If you fortified some office blocks' - this is legit best description of a damn place!
Lol, she even paused before saying 1 o’clock so that the tour group can say “1 o’clock” in unison.
"At one point the gun would've helped people to tell the time. Now it's just there to keep the people of Leith on their toes."
I get that it's just a joke about the noise, but I like to imagine that the neighborhood has a "bald spot" surrounding an ever-deepening crater and that it's anybody's guess whether or not the gun's fully-loaded _this_ time.
Someone with a pyrotechnics licence should do something like that 😅
I’ll be visiting Edinburgh next week. Your tours really sold it to me!
Love your tours. May actually visit some of these places now, never had the inclination before, but growing up in an "historical" area with a similar attitude makes me nostalgic.
I live in the Midwest now, which has taught me that there is a difference between historical and just out-of-date.
The train from Glasgow to Edinburgh. The conductor over the loudspeaker: "arrffff oooO arrfff arrfff eeeedeen oh-ar... eee arrfff".
Me: ?????
Scottish Girl I'm with: "we'll be arriving in about 10 minutes. The weather is pretty nice and Tesco is having a sale on bananas"
Ya, they do that when they open the crates of Bananas, and find a bunch of Tropical Spiders. Who are dead from the cold, because its fvcking Scotland.
I love her. She is so droll, so gloomy, so awful, so unenthusiastic. It makes me want to go on her tours.
I believe Craig is a male character that she does. Yeh, she nails the character, I'm addicted.
*EVERYTHING IN EDINBURGH* is at the top of a hill - even the bottom of a hill is at the top of a hill....
Hilarious. The description of Mary pushing out a baby whilst squatting on a rock is probably not too far from the truth.
Praise Craig, the best tour guide!
And now I'm wondering if there is a specific backstory to why Craig and Sheila don't get along.
Probably because I've spent way too much time on the internet.
Craig sounds like me in my last year as a local tour guide.
This is where we process the milk, yes.....you may take pictures....Yes that's the skyr shit....*Sigh* No you may not taste it.
Over here we have a thing that's *Sigh* Oh so very important, do not forget the gift shop on your way out *Sigh* Thank you for visiting this ass end of nowhere......Did i say that out loud?
Craig has a way to make one feel as if they were witnessing history in the making. Well done Craig, well done indeed.
I'm pretty sure that Craig punched me in an Edinburgh pub after a rugby match. This is not America. I won't sue him for it.
as a child i was so sad to hear Mons Meg doesn't actually fire a cannonball each time. I think I cried.
Now I'm an adult and I realize how absurd it would be, it's a twenty inch cannon! regardless, during the tour I listened to little and stared at the large display of revolvers. I wonder if they still keep a few of those on display
"At one point the gun would have helped people to tell the time, now it just keeps the people of Leith on their toes" 😂😂😂
And then I was all like : " blee bla bloo bloo bluh"......AND THEY KNEW WHAT I MEANT! amaze.
Our tour guide at Edinburgh Castle told us that they used to pour boiling hot porridge on any invaders. I was howling, the Americans just stood and nodded.
Seems like such a waste.
Did the castle tour in 1984. Still recall the retired soldier who was the tour guide. He was charming, very funny, and wouldn’t stop pestering me about my hair. Same colour as yours … Mom was from Glasgow, and she, my eldest sister and I bear the curse of the Freckled Ginger. Thanks, Mom, lol. Greetings from Ontario, Canada! 🇨🇦🖖🏻🇨🇦
I've become an absolute fan of this lass!! Keep them coming please.
How did the UA-cam algorithm know that I would fall in love with this woman?
Now I know what I missed on 2018 when I visited from the states and rode a motorbike on the North Coast 500. In Edinburgh we took an open bus tour and strolled around town and enjoyed it. Somehow we skipped the castle tour and deep fried Mars bars but had plenty of haggis and Cullen Skink.
Deep fried mars bars are more of a Glasgow thing, though I can recommend Cromars in St Andrews if you want a slightly bougie one from our second-best* chippie. Glad you appreciated our other offerings!.
*Some say it's the best, but I reckon that the one doon the road in Anstruther is slightly better if you don't mind a queue.
I've been to Edinburgh 3 times. Skipped the castle tour the last time.
I got the chance to visit Edinburgh Castle in August of 2014 when in the UK for the World Science Fiction Convention. We were on our way up to Westray (Orkney Islands) to visit some relatives, and decided to sightsee for a day between flights. When we got up to the castle, it was raining & misting so hard, you couldn't see the tops of the nearby parapets from the ticket line, and -wimps- I mean, other sight-seers escaped the line to head back down for -safety-...I mean, a drier location. My mother and I, being from the Seattle area, looked at each other, grinned, and I said, "It's just like home, isn't it?" "Yes, in the springtime!" And we giggled & stayed in line.
My partner was from Quebec.He was always puzzled by the fact that this country was never,ever,ready for snow & everything ground to a halt if there was more than an inch of the white stuff.He said you had never experienced a real winter if u hadn't known a Canadian one.
I'll be signing up for your tour at one o'clock. I'll assuredly be admiring the tapestries whilst waiting for the gun.
Nooo... it's hilarious, but the complete opposite of what I experienced when I visited Edinburgh Castle 😂 Our tour guide might have been called Craig, I don't know, but he was funny and energetic and enthusiastic. He also told us that the motto of Scotland, "Nemo me impune lacessit", means "never sit on a thistle when you're wearing a kilt".
I googled that latin phrase, and it's more like "Talk shit, get hit". Which is somehow even more Scottish.
Despite the arctic cold, be sure to remove your hat in certain parts of the tour or soldiers will remind you in that polite Scottish way that implies violence is imminent. Was so unnerving I forgot to buy a clan magnet.
that time being ...
...
..
.
one o'clock
I was an Edinburgh tour guide and a woman came flapping out of the royal mile Starbucks once at quarter past one, camera in hand, exclaiming “Did I miss it?! … well, when is it going to go off again today?”
"-Why do you shoot the one o'clock gun?"
"We scots are cheap; the 12 o'clock gun would have cost too much black powder."
May I some "Holms Clan Magnets ... And maybe some pencils??? Also a swatch of cloth with the genuine Holms Clan Tartan on it? Yes, I am American. A Loch Ness pool float toy would be nice, also. Many thanks in Scotch.....😀
What fun! I feel like I’ve toured jolly old Scotland! 😉
Yes, we need surly tour guides more often. Mark Twain would've loved her when he visited Europe.
I have done this tour and gathered round the gun repeatedly looking at my watch for the time while waiting for it to go off.
" She's very annoying and I like to see her suffer." Loved it.
Just discovered ya few days ago. Thanks for the laughs. Blessings to you and yours.
Same here!
After having watched over a score of your videos I have come to the opinion that this particular video is my favorite. Your summation of Mary's life broke my heart and Craig's invitation to email all further questions was perfect. What time is the gun fired every day?😂
These are great! Please do Glasgow!
Going to be on the tour in a couple of weeks. Sure hope your our guide
I also ate my weight in edinburgh castle rock. I'm not sure how castle rock is edible, but it's pretty good.
It's definitely better for your health than Stephen King's castle rock. That stuff will kill you.
We have very large refrigerators in America.
We need lots and lots of magnets to stick stuff to 'em.
Hilarious. Wish I had you showing me around the castle.
The tattoo was amazing! Wish we'd had a tour guide like Craig rather than the audio guide. 😂
That may have been the best Edinburg Castle documentary I've ever heard.
Gosh this brings me straight back to Uni. I did that tour with anyone who came to visit. Surprised you didn't Crack a Mons Meg joke
"It used to be the midday gun, but they moved it to 1 o'clock to save money on ammunition..." : Edinburgh castle tour guides since time immemorial:)
As a Dutchman, I think that's genius.
Lmfao. Do they actually say that? I know it's cheesy but it's a really good joke
What's the joke?
@@sarahmayjohn If they had to fire the gun at noon, they would have had to fire 12 times.
So that's 12 times more expensive than moving it to 1 o'clock.
@@AudieHolland Aaww! Haha. Thanks so much!
Im a Scotts/ American I could sit here and listen to you talk all day...
I have been asked, and no im not kidding, ''what time does the 1 o'clock gun go off?'' Another favourite - ''Isn't it neat that they built the castle so close to the shops?''
I was told a tourist asked why one of the Queen's palaces was built so close to the railway station.Can't recall where we were though.
@@susanmccormick6022 classics :)
How much would you charge to give me an extended version of this tour whilst in character? I quite liked the bit at the end.
Thank you algorythm, she is fantastic!
Thank you, so much Craig. Sorry to be such a bother. ☺️ Great stuff!
The whole random tangent about Queen Mary's...tapestries. I can't breathe.
“…if you fortified some office blocks”. 🤣👍
How much would I love to actually go round old places with you as a tour guide.
Like it much. Edinburgh is really astonishing, want to be there again some day. Thank you 😘
Hey Craig! Can I brown bag? I can't do this sober.
You gotta love Scottish humor - even at the expense of Americans.
I love you Eleanor, I always wondered why that rock was so gloomy...
Despite approaching my 60th birthday, I’ve never yet bumped into another Morton who wasn’t close family….hello Eleanor! Funny girl….
What would it look if you fortified some office blocks? I've always thought that.
I want to go to Scotland from America. I like the previews thus far.
A modern day rev I am jolly, brilliant
Lord i love your videos. Delivery so perfect you re probably admired by DHL
Your face is without expresion but you had me grinning the same as I was after your Nessie 'tour'.
I genuinely love the military tattoo, especially the Swiss drum Corp. :D
Absolute zinger of an ending.!!!! Poor Sheila 🤣🤣🤣
The magnets I'm dead lmao
Oh dear youre brilliant! Was in Edinburgh castle 2 weeks ago and remembered this video
Love the Mary Queen of Scots bit
I've visited Edinburgh Castle and ... this isn't bad at all.
Also, if you're in Edinburgh, visit a very old cemetery where you'll see some familiar names: McGonagal, Tom Riddel, etc. from Harry Potter. Rowling must have drawn some inspiration from that place.
Thanks Craig.
Love Edinburgh, been three times. This is hilarious
Cymro Di ... but to make it international & SO correct we will go with the one size fits anything parlance of the time of our time. Nail their balls !!
The most memorable American tourist comment ever; ‘why did they build a castle so close to the railway station?’
Those eyes.....
You canni beat this lass 😂 brilliant
Well, I was planing my first trip to Edinburgh Castle this year…. but now I can just spend my savings on a new cheese grater! #WINNING
I’m a loyal subscriber to the theater of the absurd.
I absolutely adore these. Brilliant.
Oh you've got to do Culloden
The tour guide at Springbank Distillery was called Craig.
This lovely lass qualifies as PM....really portrays their attitude toward the common serfs.
I recommend staying at Dalhousie Castle just outside Edinburgh. Instead of putting chocolate on your pillow at night, they use a small bottle Macallan whisky.
You are hilarious and now i want to go to scotland to see which clan i belong too
Sheila is in charge of questions now? We used to have to go to Helen Waite.
I plan to memorize all of these and pretend to be a Scottish tour guide when we get over there. Whenever I get depressed by the glib talking heads on TV, I watch these to get a lift from the cynical humor.
These cheer me up.
The IDGAF oozes off the screen. Love it.
🤣🤣 I love these so much!
Could someone explain the Greggs comment she makes in relation getting cardio workout?
Dear Sheila, where is the loo in this place? And is it only for looks or can I really use it? Either way, I think I am going to be dropping off "The Big Job" here today.
Please do a Scottish version of the Stumphole Cavern skit by The League of Gentlemen!
Craig for PM!
There's a tour I'd take
That quip about making Sheila Suffer broke me up!
Say, after doing these UA-cams, have you been Fired from your Tour Guiding Work since?
I think she just needs to come to Sandusky Ohio United States of America... And work the same job however bringing people onto roller coasters... She would get paid better she would have better food she would have better company and I believe she'd actually have fun
🤣🤣🤣 I love these videos, sarcastic apathy drier than the Sahara. Good stuff 🤣👍
Poor Craig. He just doesn't realize that he's NOT a tour guide as such and that he's actually inside Spandau Prison Castle. After they shoved Hess out, they locked Craig up there because he'd presented himself as being the reincarnation of Robert the Bruce, and then went on to claim that he was the current and outright King of Scotland. Adi Amin and Gaddafi spent some time there as well. That's where they "place" all of the self-proclaimed Scottish kings these days.
So I blew a bit o quid on some delrin pipes next door.
I just didn't feel I'd been ripped off enough up at the castle.
I ded see a right cheerful dog cemetery so that might a made up fer it.
If someone in Edinburgh approaches you and asks "Wid ye like tae see Wee Boabie?" - do NOT pay up until you're certain it's Greyfriars they're talking about. Important safety tip.
Damn I went to Edinburgh Castle. I guess I missed the magnets.
I just watched one on the Scottish Parliament and I was surprised there weren’t any comments. I wanted to make a comment, but I was afraid to make a comment. You know, how you don’t want to be the one to break the silence at a funeral? Or a mixer?