Regarding the last question with the guy's witch boyfriend: Whether you believe in your partner's spiritual beliefs or not, if they are doing something in their practice that is intentionally meant to harm you, that seems like a red flag to me. :/
Omg it is! Then she's like 'His shoulders look like the perfect place to lay on!' and it's just so cute. I always thought cats weren't socialable until I got one. They sure are! Just as loveable too.
Did anyone else clock that the husband who likes to get prepared food at the grocery store was "accusing me (the wife) of being neglectful and having postpartum depression"? That's another big red flag there.
There’s more to know there. Due to being locked in so long, a lot of people do feel that there is little control in their lives, and having a new baby can make life feel less in control. I suspect that it’s not munchausen by proxy and more likely to be him dealing with depression as well, and he’s using specific foods as a coping mechanism. However, even before Covid, I did know new parents who freaked out if the number of dirty diapers wasn’t an exact number a day. Exact number. Not a range. And they’d run to the doctor for everything.
I looked into this story and people on Reddit found that there’s also posts from the same account from the “husbands” perspective. There’s a lot of things they both seem to claim on their posts about the other being irrational. I’m personally inclined to believe it’s either all fake or both parents are just not coping well
with so many of these Reddit relationship issues I'm just baffled by the lack of communication. Like editing someone for Instagram is alright as long as you talk about it and everyone is on the same page, but your partner shouldn't discover you're giving her a bigger chest by looking at your feed through someone else's account. The solution so often is "just talk to each other oh my god"
@@leenibeeni861 most people haven't, in my experience. (this is why it pisses me off when people get upset in general about having to do discussions, presentations, group work, and the like in school/college. There are exceptions, like for anxiety or mental illness etc, but for the most part, people just dont want to do it cause they dont like/dont know how to communicate, when in reality its exactly what they need to do to learn. Sorry, rant over)
@@rexana_rexana to be fair, on those things you mention, there's commonly not really a lot of guidance on how to do it (in my experience) such as lessons on how to structure or how to talk or where to look so if you never learned it from home you're just thrown into the deep end. I know this is a tangent lmao but i just wanted to say it haha
i love how cristine and ben are talking about their cat getting married and her financial stability when she gets married to a guy who can only afford a ring pop so seriously
About the witchy girlfriend: she either believes she's actually cursing the boyfriend or she is manipulating him. In either cases I couldn't be with someone that wishes me bad or leverages on my fear/ignorance to get me to do what I want. That guy better run!
Exactly. Absolutely terrifying. I feel bad for the guy. Christine's take was very weird and not at all logical nor rational, which is very strange to me considering she tends to have a rational opinion on many things.
the fact the guy used the term 'lez out' shows that he doesnt respect lesbian relationships ect. she should tell him how she feels and if he doesnt genuinely apologise, he needs to gtfo
@@racheld1310 if he’s hanging out with “bros” that act that way though then he’s obviously someone who acts the same or at least excuses these types of actions.
I thought about every time she steals a joke, the woman should post or say "I'm so glad you like my joke", but that might wear off quickly. Your idea is DA BEST
Oh man the text is hard to get over, the fact that he texted her best friend directly is something I'd find it hard to get past. I understand getting drunk and saying something stupid to your wife, but to her best friend????
Why did he have the wife’s friends number in the first place? Maybe he slid into her DM’s.. if it’s totally out of character he might deserve another chance but I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s done something shady before this
@@clairewillow6475 eh, I don't think him having his wife's best friends number is that big of a deal. there are many perfectly logical reasons for him to have it. like if the two girls were out together and the husband couldn't reach his wife, he could reach out to the best friend, or maybe they planned some sort of surprise party together for the wife at some point. there are definitely many red flags but him having her number isn't necessarily one
About the guy texting his wife's best friend to "get together with her so he can watch" to put it somewhat PG is not only gross for all the reasons stated, it's also invalidating and fetishizing of LGBTQ+ women and femme presenting people. We're not there to be some Dudes fetish, we're real people who exist and love and don't want to be reduced like that. Edit. I commented too early I just saw that you two addressed that - thank you
My husband proposed with a $100 cubic zirconia when we were 18! We have now been together for 20 years, married for 12. I would take a ring pop as a 'place holder' so I could pick my own ring but I did/do love it! It's scary how many women on here don't seem to be able to communicate with their husbands very well!
"I would never insult a baby to a baby's face, just like I would never insult a human to their face" And today we learned that Cristine does not consider babies to be humans.
Everyone knows babies are potatoes. I don't know at what point they transition into humans, but they all look like potatoes, no exceptions. Dunno why people class that as being offensive. What have they got against potatoes anyway?
Just recently I realized that I say "it" when referring to a baby and don't say thier name or gender; I genuinely refer to them as an object or animal😂😂😂
In regards to the first story... I'm 20 and have never even used facetune. Maybe I'm just out of the loop but I honestly don't think editing every single photo you post is "normal" behavior for our age
Yeah totally agree. I'm 22 and I don't post any pictures to social media at all. If I would I definitely wouldn't use Facetune even if I knew how to. I don't think this is normal behaviour for people our age
i'm 18 and the only reason i've ever used facetune is because i'm trans and not on hormones yet and sometimes i just want to look at my face with the gender filter on. but it's not like i post those pictures anywhere
I found a way diferent problem in the last story. She is a witch and she casts spells, therefore she believes in the power off those spells, she also casts spells that sound very angry - why in the world would she cast a spell that she believes could do some harm to the person she's in the relationship with? Her bevaviour is just very malicious and it doesn't sound like she should be with anyone, if she does something that, she believes, could harm someone.
the "spell" sounded like garbage, I think she was just doing it to put him off. No real "witch", would do that. I'm not saying what she did was right because she clearly did it to eff with him, so that is a whole other issue.
@@yippeeflowers As a person who has published research on this, what Wicca does, at least when it originated, is reclaim the demonized witchcraft as a more positivized, beneficient system. And witchcraft was not just a practise (that led to false allegations that Church used to kill innocents), but also something that transatlantic Puritan societies believed to be an actual organized anti-Christian underground religion. What they deemed witchcraft, were actually non-Christian old world religions which were polytheistic and often matriarchal,both traits absolutely abhorred by the patriarchal monotheistic JudeoChristian systems. Hope this clears up stuff. As examples or for further reading should you be interested, look up the benandanti of Italy, or the diva triformis of Diana, or the Sumerian and Minoan religions predating Christianity.
Super agree on the engagement ring note! When my now-fiancé and I went ring shopping, the price limit we set was $1000 (which happened to be 1 week of his salary after tax). We looked specifically at gemstone and promise rings, as any “”engagement”” ring was instantly $2000-3000 AT MINIMUM. I’ll be returning the favour and buying our wedding bands ☺️
Getting a lab grown stone is a great, eco friendly way to save 💍 same with going to non-department store sources. Congratulations on your engagement!! 🤗🤗
Congrats! We bought a 13$ ring from ebay 😎 The wedding official was horrified when she asked for our wedding rings and we pulled our silver cat rings off our fingers and dropped them on her ceremony tray.
My husband and I bought my wedding set at the piercing pagoda kiosk at the mall. $50 for a beautiful set that looks real, doesn't turn my finger green, is solid sterling silver and not coated so it doesn't wear and look copper after a while, it has a lifetime warranty so if it gets damaged or if I need it resized its not an issue, and if I lose them entirely it's not a big deal to just buy a replacement.
I’m closer to Christine and Ben’s age-I’m 34, but I don’t mind when my friends minimally edit my face when they post photos of me. I’ve had friends whiten my teeth, along with themselves in the photo, without asking and I appreciated it. I wouldn’t mind if a friend edited out acne because that’s a temporary condition and a professional photographer might do the same. Enlarging my chest would be a bridge way too far for me. That would really upset me. So I agree, there are shades of grey here, but overall, I would side with the OP on this.
I feel like the line is where the edited effect is achievable irl with makeup/ironing/light or is a temporary thing like a skin condition or red eye. If the edited me is only possible with plastic surgery, it's a hard NO.
Yeah for sure, if they're doing some color correction or removing a spot or something that's one thing, but if they're changing your actual features that's a whole other level!
@@ThexBlackxKitty This is exactly where I fall in terms of editing my own photos - the thing I do the most is even out my skin, because foundation would cover that. I wouldn’t mind that sort of minor smoothing out if someone else did it, but changing my shape, my angles? I wouldn’t be happy if someone made my skin LESS pale, and that’s without getting into the potential race issues with skin lightening specifically.
As a happily married (8 years) polyamorous person, my partner and I would never treat people that way! 26:01 Holy shit! That guy is way outta line! The key is to be extremely careful with everyone’s boundaries, and have completely open and honest discourse about literally everything. It’s about happiness for all, not the happiness of one. 😉🖤🥰 Much love to you, Ben & Cristine! 💅🏻
I posted a pic of me and my bf where I had edited my skin a little better. I asked if the picture was good to post in case he wanted me to edit him at all (obviously there was no need) but yeah. Can be solved by just asking!!
@@laneyb8911 Yup but I've been with my husband for 16 years and sometimes it's still hard to express my feelings on things but it gets easier with age.
This. And even without asking I wouldn’t have a problem with a partner like photoshopping a pimple off my nose or something extremely minor. But editing the shape and size of my body???? Nooo. Also it’s just embarrassing lol, I’d be embarrassed to have obviously edited photos of myself online because it makes me (and my partner) look insecure.
In regards to the proposal story. I agree with OP. I am a 24f and I was proposed to. However if I wasn't ready at the time and we talked about still continuing till I was I would find it completely reasonable that I would be the one to propose next. I already know my partner is ready and only I will know when I am ready too. Proposing is very venerable and can be scary but now you know when you do that person is more than likely gonna say yes. What if they propose again and your still not ready thats alot of uncertainty and pressure to put on someone insteady of just saying when I am ready I will tell you ( by proposing yourself). If that makes sence.
I kind of feel like she rejected because she wanted something more from the proposal and didn't want to say that she was unsatisfied with the proposal... She has mentioned she didn't want to be proposed to in public before he did it, and she was talking about the next proposal after rejecting... I feel like she is very much into getting married but just wants him to do it again. Which is stupid lol but I think maybe that's why she's upset he's not doing it again, because he's being pretty reasonable in my opinion!
I feel like the couple just needs to talk to one another. This is part of of reason why I don't like surprise proposals where the couple hasn't spoken about marriage in any tangible way (timelines, etc) before the proposal, then someone is caught off guard and the person who proposes is hurt. Talking about it solves all these issues. If someone is getting "annoyed" that they have to go to the effort of proposing again, it doesn't sound to me as though they've really talked about it or if they're really ready to get married because there's a heck of a lot more compromising than that in a marriage. I dunno. Just my two cents as a 33yr old lady 🙂
If my partner did that to me, I wouldn’t be mad. It would be so out of character for him that I’d be very worried and get him to a doctor fo find out what’s going on mentally.
I think the husband who cut his wife’s hair, it was out of some controlling ownership kind of thing. I don’t think it was just a weird impulse or that he wanted her hair to be shorter. I think he did it very intentionally to show her how he “owns” her.
It's also a form of gaslighting to pretend he did nothing and she's just going crazy. The "why" isn't important. The fact that he's doing it at all is a very big problem.
@@wolfferoni Yes. With gaslighters and abusers you can spend a lot of time wondering why, trying to find a reason, trying to make sense of it, and that's completely natural, but it's actually not important why they behave that way. Just the fact that they would do it (like cut your hair in your sleep, harm you in any way, threaten you, not respect your boundaries, whatever it is) is enough to get away from them. It doesn't matter why. There may be a reason, but it's not an excuse. And the reason may well be that they enjoy inflicting pain, but that's very difficult to wrap your head around, especially when it's someone you trust. Don't get stuck trying to understand why. Take care of yourself and leave!
Maybe he accidentaly got like uh... gum on her hair and had to cut it to get it out and was too embarrassed to admit it😅 or at least I'd hope it could be something innocent like that and not like some sinister gaslighting and/or fetish/control thing D: either way though... he shouldn't have lied about it when he got caught....
A huge issue is that he didn't text his wife asking to open a conversation about opening their relationship. He texted her friend implying that she should seduce his wife so that he can watch. Eww! She's telling her jokes before she gets a chance to, which could potentially end up making her look like she's stealing the jokes from her mother-in-law and not the other way around. And the fact that she is potentially trying to make a career of it makes her look even worse.
Kids start getting interesting when you can interact without having to celebrate everything they do... I met my nephew as a baby because I was pushed to his christening, which I also disagree with, but my relationship with him started discussing Wolverine when he was 5. Best decision I've ever made!
These kinds of episodes and the other reddit discussion episodes are my favourites! Always interesting to hear both your takes on each situation (also the curation of which reddit post to bring up is always great)
Am I the only person who thinks the person going to get prepared food so often may be *meeting* someone in the prepared food section of the grocery store? 👀
Buying prepared food is a big issue on a low income. I'm trying to help my husband get off of prepared food because we really can't afford it and run out of money every month.
Good luck with your husband and the grocery bill! I know way too many people who can't stop buying Starbucks every day or they only want to drink 5 cans of pop/soda every day. Those drinks really add up in cost, and a lot of those drinks are super unhealthy/too sugary...
This was exactly what I was thinking.. my bf has less impulse control with regards to shoppig and it somethimes gets tricky. On top of that... if he is actually using the child as an excuse, that might be a sign of a possible ED? Which I wouldn't whish upon my worst enemy... I stuggle with food quite a bit and when I am particularly feeling bad I tend to eat secretly or make excuses. I really think this shouldn't be just brushed off. Perhaps the guys is super stressed? Think much will be solved by an open hearted conversation?
Just to add my two bits to the godzilla question. As an autistic person dating another autistic person if one of us genuinely insulted a character that was important to the other it would be a deal breaker (we've been together 2 and a half years, known each other for 9 and plan to get married). I'm not sure how to explain but it's just different for neurodivergent people. Our favourite characters mean as much to us as people in our daily lives, if not more in some cases. If I insulted kermit the way his partner insulted godzilla and genuinely meant it and refused to take it back I know how much it would genuinely hurt her. Especially if she was trying to share that interest with me, its just different for neurodivergent people. Its way more special. It's like inviting your partner to meet your family for the first time but instead its sharing an interest that's meaningful to them
Also, her seeming refusal to understand the background of this important character and unwillingness to engage with it at all shows a real lack of respect for the OP. Like, is it so hard to smile and nod while your partner of 3 years talks about one of their passions?
As another autistic person, I was thinking the same thing. Like, that would genuinely really hurt me. I know when my friends shut down my passion rants about random shit, it really hurts.
@@bex1107 It does, but on the flip side sometimes you can only listen to info dumping for so long. I know this as both someone on the ASD spectrum and also as the parent of a kid who has ASD and ADHD. I find it really, really hard to listen to his passion rants for hours on end.
@@faeriesmak oh yeah, of course! But there is a difference between saying “hey, can we talk about something else for a bit. You’ve been info dumping for a while.” And saying “that thing you love it dumb, shut up.”
So my completely unsolicited opinion on engagement ring standards: I remember hearing that way back when women weren't allowed to work, you were expected to get a ring with high resale value so if she became a widow, she could sell it and live off that money until she got married again or found other means to support herself. Nowadays I think the concern over recieving a "cheap" ring is that the partner buying it may have to rely on the other for financial support, and parents are concerned their child could be marrying a freeloader.
Absolutely incorrect. Around WWII, DeBeers came up with a shitty slogan about “how else can two months’ salary last forever?” A lot of men died in war. It was manipulative as fuck. But it worked. Before then, engagement rings weren’t so common among the middle and lower classes. But DeBeers’ ad campaign changed that. Before that, when people did use rings, they weren’t always diamond. I fact, DeBeers controls the import of diamonds and has created an artificial scarcity. They started the diamond engagement ring trend. It literally had nothing to do with a ring so expensive that a woman could live off the resale value until she got married (that would be a ring costing several YEARS worth of income). It was entirely, ENTIRELY, a marketing tactic. Any parent who doesn’t care what their child wants and only cares about what they personally want can FUCK OFF. If my daughter was their daughter, and her fiance proposed with a big flashy diamond when she didn’t want jewelry at all, I’d be VERY concerned about his lack of respect for her that he decided she needed a physical marker of being taken.
I was more so thinking of the “dedication” to the marriage aspect. Not saying I agree with this but if the person proposing bought an expensive ring it would be a sign of commitment and genuine want. Saying “let’s get married” is easy, but dishing out hundreds/thousands of dollars over a ring (with no guaranteed chance of getting a yes) shows how much you’re willing to sacrifice for the person you’re asking.
@@sparkyboomboomboi7051 i think it's terrible this concept of sacrificing, that makes it exhausting and it makes it coherent with the fact that marriages tend to not work later on when following these archaic dynamics. My opinion tho.
@@sparkyboomboomboi7051 there's absolutely no way im letting my SO go into debt to buy me a fucking ROCK to "prove commitment" to me or whatever. i can't fathom how a relationship culminates into a thousand(s of) dollar(s) rock? there's much more to it than that. I'd be happy with a $90 ring from Etsy, regardless of what my SO could afford because i already know the commitment and passion is there.
For the grocery store food one! Ben completely glossed over the gaslighting!!! The dude was saying that she's being neglectful and has PPD!!! That's a huge red flag! Turning it back on to her when she has valid concerns. Even if it wasn't about the food going to the Dr 4 times a week is a problem! And really shitty of him to turn it back on to her when she expresses those concerns!
You don’t know what gaslighting means. There are new parents who feel a loss of control and scared. Even pre-Covid, I personally knew new parents who freaked the fuck out of EVERYTHING to the point that *I* was telling them to stop bothering the doctors, it’s normal to not have the exact same number of diapers a day, that it is very normal for babies to have days where they sleep more or less. If he’s freaking out more, and expected her to, he might genuinely believe this is because of PPD. Gaslighting is intentionally trying to make someone question their perception of reality. I doubt he’s doing that. Most likely he’s depressed and that food is how he’s coping, and as a new parent, that stress and worry is exacerbating things.
@@Author.Noelle.Alexandria we don't know if it's intentional but if he is making it up. Then he definitely is gaslighting her blaming her desire to not want the baby to go the Dr 4 times a week (which is excessive by any measure) on PPD which she does indicate she has. Which is definitely bman attempt to make her think that she isn't in the right mindset to judge how eften he should be taking the baby to the Dr. That is an excellent example of gaslighting.
I used to work with a guy who was absolutely obsessed with Godzilla so there are definitely stans out there. His desk was basically covered in various memorabilia, it was really impressive.
The proposal story-- if she was mentioning it so soon after, it sounds to me like she wasn't satisfied with the proposal and wanted a new, different one.
The story of the husband repeatedly taking the baby to the doctor sounds more like the husband has anxiety about the baby and feels like he needs to take him to the doctor to relieve the anxiety.
I know they always say they don't have a perfect relationship, but who can resist m e l t i n g every time Ben talks about his relationship with Cristine? He's so in love with her, I want to cry.
I never liked children. I've always thought of them as kinda annoying, loud and - yes - quite ugly (compared to other beings' babys, such as kittens, etc.). My boyfriend is 8 years older than me and after like 1 year of being together I learned that he really likes children and eventually wants to have children of his own. This scared me alot and we had a big fight because of that, since I felt pressure to get children someday - while he couldn't understad why I didn't like them... My arguments against children are mostly based on the fact that I don't enjoy them and don't want to bring anyone into this horrible world we are all living in. He was offended by this at first, since for him it always felt like it's his purpose in life. I was so scared that he would want to break up with me because I do not want to have kids. Luckily he took some time thinking about my arguments and agreed on the fact that what our parents did is not always the right path for us to follow, too. I mean: just cause your parents had kids and society somehow portraits it as the ultimate goal in life (my opinion), it shouldn't be the reason to also have children. He told me, that he never looked at the subject from a different angle before and now that he does, we are mutual that we do not want to have kids any time soon. He told me, that being with me is more important and that he doesnt want to break up. Maybe one of us isn't able to get kids anyway. We are together for nearly 4 years now. sorry for the long paragraph, just wanted to write this down for some reason. Sorry for my bad english - if anyone reads this which is highly unlikely. in my defense: Im from germany.
Hey I read it! I’m glad that you find a person not only agree with you on that important issue but also can come around and try to look at things in your perspective. I don’t see having kids is my ultimate purpose in life at all either. But I’m not 100% sure that I won’t change my mind in the future so I feel like I shouldn’t say that I don’t want kids. Sometimes I want to be as sure as Cristine about her decision to be able to say that.
@@pjnkblue Hey! Thank you so much for your sweet reply 😊! I totally understand you, there is always a possibility, that one might change their mind about such a life-changing matter. I'm ofc also not 100% sure about my decision. We'll see what the future holds for us. I wish you all the best🥰
I have an idea for the joke stealing one. OP should just make a bunch of jokes that she thinks the mother-in-law might try to steal before she does, or tell her family members the jokes and then when the mother-in-law tells the jokes they won't be as funny and will be obviously stolen.
The best relationship advice is watching how happy you two are together. I've kept you both in mind as I've navigated the dating world. After 5 years of being single, and being determined to find happiness like the two of you have, I found it. Thank you for being wonderful people. Him and I have been together for about 2 years, and its been amazing. Like you guys, we also don't have a set anniversary lol
Loving this podcast!! Longtime viewer here. I love when you guys give your input on relationship stuff, because it's kind of like receiving advice from your parents. Not technically qualified, but very valuable advice from very sensible people with some experience of their own. Thank you so much for these, guys. Your podcasts always make my week better. :)
Counter argument on the ring thing, and on the whole financial status symbol argument: As much as it should be taught and encouraged that their child (daughter in this case) can hold their own financially, modern day living costs are designed to be divided between 2 incomes. If the daughter is marrying someone financially irresponsible, it doesn’t matter how responsible she is. They as a pair will be more likely to suffer financially, and the divide in responsibility can be the root of issues down the road. Yes, a ring is a poor example of that, but I can see how more traditional parents would default to concern about it.
My husband and I call our daughter Potato for the exact reason that she looked like a potato-alien when she was born 😂 I'm glad we're not alone in our opinion!
I love parents who call their baby "ugly names" like that😭 I saw a tiktok thing of parents showing their pretty toddler but then how ugly they where as newborns and it was so funny😭
that sneezing when aroused thing is actually something. my fiance does it! its kinda funny bc he doesn't always sneeze when aroused but most time he does.
Pagan here, maybe I can shed some light on the "Witch Girlfriend" story. Cloaks are totally still used in some traditions, so it might depend on the tradition she's apart of, but she could very well have a cloak. Back to the actual issue though.... Cursing someone, even as a joke, is a bit of a "no no." how most witches/pagans treat spells, is that its the thought and intention that makes the spell. So its less about the potion, or physical thing that you make, and more of the thoughts and focus on the thing you want. SO even jokingly thinking about cursing someone, would cause you to think about cursing someone, and possibly curse someone if they believe that sort of thing. Christine is right, its the power of belief that matters here, and its kinda sh*tty for someone to even jokingly curse someone.
Godzilla stan here. I would have to draw the line at "Godzilla is just a big lizard". I seek comfort in the stuby arms of my thousands of dollars in vintage Japanese soft vinyl. Tbf my partners have always thought my collection was pretty cool but maybe they were just saying that?
I'm not a Godzilla super fan, but I deeply respect the lore ESPECIALLY the huge cultural impact of the 1954 "Gojira" film. It's crazy that someone hears the origin story and cultural meaning of Godzilla, and all they can say is, "It's just a big lizard." (facepalm)
Godzilla is a big lizard, but that doesn't make it any less cool. Plus, i heard that the lore is really cool. I think the problem is the disrespectful way she dismissed his interests. It was really mean of her to say that and imply that his interests were silly and unimportant.
my take on the situations: bf who edits: honestly, that sucks and they should have a talk abt what's the issue that he needs to edit her face. esp without her knowledge or maybe opinion abt if the edits are making her feel uncomfortable ring pop proposal: honestly, sometimes u just have to ignore the nay-sayers. if that's what u wanted, then enjoy it and be happy. no one is getting hurt by his choice so i don't think its bad to ignore them just this once. sneezing gf: i mean, considering he cares enough to have you checked out, i think he'd understand. maybe go to the doctor first to confirm but generally, if he's as sweet as he sounds, he wouldn't judge u. grocery store husband: i rlly hope it's not related to some kind of compulsion to bring a baby to the pediatrician bc that's not healthy and can lead to helicopter parenting but in general, have an open discussion abt the correlation of the two and if there really is one. potato baby: generally, if that's how they react to just small things, it's a red flag. that's an immature response. i do agree maybe she was overthinking his comment and maybe she's hurt but i think employing the cold shoulder isn't a solution so i hope that if this was her ploy to break up, she should have just been straight up. drunk text husband: i mean maybe im crazy bc i immediately thought maybe its a fantasy to him? (not saying its okay to do that in anyway) but idk, maybe they could talk about what he meant and she can share that she doesn't like it? idk, as much as drunk words are sober thoughts, maybe he could have worded it better to explain it without reaching that creepy level godzilla: honestly, if the guy is rlly hurt, he should tell his gf. you dont need to understand everything your partner likes but she should be called out if she's making him feel bad instead of respecting him sleep haircut: honestly, stay away from him for a while. as much as maybe im reading into the passive aggressive comment, i just think its unsafe to do that and you could have been injured. that's creepy and its a total violation of privacy. 2nd proposal: honestly, maybe neither of them should do it by surprise or like do that traditional thing. i totally understand maybe not wanting to get turned down again but you cant rlly impose that on someone else. it wouldnt feel that authentic for what is supposed to be a sweet and intimate moment. joke stealing: honestly, jokes are hard to defend as yours and i guess it rlly depends on how much u wanna fight for this. have a conversation with her but yeah do it with your husband and try to get him to understand that you worked hard and he shouldn't let his mother disrespect her. especially since the marriage seems recent, you might be called the overreacting new wife. so try to have backup. witch gf: honestly, i feel less weird abt the witchy-ness, more than it seems kinda unfair she's cursing him for misunderstandings. and i hope if he openly shares that it makes him feel unsafe she'll stop. bc maybe she thinks its fine for now, but yeah tell her and her reaction should indicate the next move from there. tldr: communicate with the other person. honestly all problems could be solved if people just articulated their issues better. because all of these seem to boil down to miscommunication issues. idk these are just my takes.
I personally think one perspective the parents might have had with the ring pop could be that they were worried that the guy did not take their daughter and becoming a family seriously. I don’t think parents should harp on their kids life decisions after explaining that this was what they wanted but looking at it from a different perspective can be important.
I will forever respect how you two are able to disagree and continue a conversation with each other. The simple "I see your point but" or "I disagree because" is really great for people to see an example of how to respectfully disagree with someone, especially their partner
Re the Gozilla thing, I agree with Ben that it's an interesting take on the multi-generational negative impacts of the nuclear age on Japan, and I find it fascinating that, in contrast, the U.S.'s take on nuclear exposure is that it makes you a superhero 👀
I am really happy that we didn't have an engagement ring and we even shared the expenses evenly for our wedding rings 😁 and I didn't pick the 'standard' hilariously expensive type but ordered our rings from a one man manufacturer specially designed for us for waaay less money with the same durability 😁 so go on people, do everything the way the two of you agree on 😊
I LOVE that the guy expected the girlfriend to propose to him. Or is it just that he thought she would just one day say okay I'm ready lets get married ? Idk ahah. But yeah i just really like that.
My husband proposed in our dilapidated kitchen with his class ring. This week is our 13th anniversary. The ring does not matter and neither does the place. Only the person.
My high school teacher had the best engagement story I've heard so far. (I prefer engagement stories with a lot of personal touches.) She and her husband loved baseball, so he proposed to her on the pitcher's mound after the game. He gave her a very simple ring that he made in his garage workshop, and she still wore it everyday for the following decades. Happy Anniversary @christy ward !!!!
Congratulations! I proposed to my husband in our kitchen while making dinner, no ring or anything (although later on he did get me an engagement ring, which we designed together, and I got him an engagement watch). I agree the important thing is the person and the commitment. We've been together for 24 years (married for 19).
I couldn't wrap my head around what was my problem with the X months of salary for a ring but the term status token sums it up pretty nicely. It has a nice ring to it. Yeah I know I'll show myself out.
I honestly think the issue with the Godzilla post is that the girlfriend isn't just expressing disinterest. It's obvious that he's passionate about that franchise, but she still belittles his interests and dismisses it, and is even insulting. I feel like, as a partner, you should at the very least make an effort to learn about your significant other's interests. The fact that she couldn't even be bothered to accompany her bf to the movies shows she doesn't really respect his interests. He states that it isn't the fact that she doesn't like Godzilla but rather the fact that she is so adamant about learning about one of his interests.
The impression I got is that he has gone on and on about it (he even said he’s tried going into the history and such, KNOWING SHE ISN’T INTERESTED) until she’d had enough and snapped. He didn’t respect her. She said no, and that means no.
Husband wanting his wife to hook up with her best friend... He's got serious issues if he doesn't let it go and respect her and her friend's feelings. 🤷🏼♀️ I love Beeeyyyn's response to this. 🤣
I don't think it's an issue, necessarily. Some people fantasize about seeing their partner with someone else. It becomes an issue when he harass other people with whom he doesn't have that kind of intimacy.
The sneezing thing is legit! My grandmother, unfortunately, confessed to me that my grandfather would always sneeze when he was "feeling frisky and during the act" This led to me giving him sideways glances anytime the poor man sneezed and never knowing whether to say "bless you or GO GET'ER Papa!"
In my experience, babies start to become more "interesting" at 3 months old. That is when they really start looking at you more, and when they start becoming more interactive. My nephew just turned 3 months and now he's looking up at us, smiling, laughing, and when you talk to him he will make noises back at you
Honestly I loved what Cristine had to say about sticking up for yourself with family members and drawing boundaries for yourself and that the way they react is on them not you! I’ve been learning so much of this in therapy and she’s totally right 💯
I've seen some beauty influences complaining that they were at an event and took a group photo and the person who took the photo edited themselves and not the others and put it on their social media. So I guess the individual situation matters but in the Reddit situation obviously that's messed up of her bf to do.
I once had a crazy dream that you did break up. Cristine kept talking over Ben, so he stormed out of a vlog, saying that he hates "big UA-camrs". As a result of the break up, Cristine cut her hair in a bob. Ben was never seen on the Internet again. The only thing I took from this dream is that; I want a bob
My sister did a Bob haircut (she had butt length hair like Cristine) and donated to the cancer Institute. My grandma started crying at the first sight after she cut her hair and didn't speak with her for a month!
I've been seeing this guy for over a year. Honestly the best relationship. No fights, no insecurities. We don't post about each other on social media- we're private but not a secret. I think a huge part of it has a lot to do with age and maturity. We don't (at least I don't and his actions say that we're on the same page) edit photos cuz it is what it is, we communicate well, we both have our own stuff going on with our own priorities so everything is just smooth sailing
Happy Taco Tuesday super simps
Yes, this! We all Know Ben posted this. ❤
Thank you for reminding me :)
Hey Ben👋
Happy Taco Tuesday, Cristine, Ben and the troublemakers! Ahah
Ben: “suuuuuuper simps” 😇
Us: 🤩
Cristine: 🥲
Am I in a relationship? No. Am I looking for one? No. But will I be taking Cristine and Bens advice into account in the future? Absolutely.
I have never related more toa comment than this one
haha same
Yup yup
Been married 13 years and I am about 10 years older than them, but otherwise, same lol
Same. Doing my own thing. But I feel like a lot of this info is common sense lol
Regarding the last question with the guy's witch boyfriend: Whether you believe in your partner's spiritual beliefs or not, if they are doing something in their practice that is intentionally meant to harm you, that seems like a red flag to me. :/
Yes! Was shocked they didn’t mention this aspect of the story.
It's not a red flag its a whole red fleet 😅
Big time
agree, as a practicing witch, thats really not okay.
Absolutely!! I don’t believe in any of that but just the intentions behind that behavior would make me run away.
Ben: “I don’t want to play devil’s advocate...”
..proceeds to be the greatest advocate that the devil has ever seen
🤣🤣
Must be that criminology degree coming in handy for defense counsel’s argument 😂
Menchie rubbing her head on bens arm at the start is the cutest thing everrrr
She’s so in love with him. 😭
Pets demanding attention and affection this is adorable.
Cristen looked jealous 😂
Omg it is! Then she's like 'His shoulders look like the perfect place to lay on!' and it's just so cute. I always thought cats weren't socialable until I got one. They sure are! Just as loveable too.
I rewinded and watched the intro 5 times just to watch her and her floofy tail 😹
Did anyone else clock that the husband who likes to get prepared food at the grocery store was "accusing me (the wife) of being neglectful and having postpartum depression"? That's another big red flag there.
Am I the only one that wondered what the grocery store chef looked like? Is this about the food, or the person who made the food?
Gaslighting
There’s more to know there. Due to being locked in so long, a lot of people do feel that there is little control in their lives, and having a new baby can make life feel less in control. I suspect that it’s not munchausen by proxy and more likely to be him dealing with depression as well, and he’s using specific foods as a coping mechanism. However, even before Covid, I did know new parents who freaked out if the number of dirty diapers wasn’t an exact number a day. Exact number. Not a range. And they’d run to the doctor for everything.
I thought hes either cheating or has a thing for the girl working at the store and is trying to use his son to pick her up or sth
I looked into this story and people on Reddit found that there’s also posts from the same account from the “husbands” perspective. There’s a lot of things they both seem to claim on their posts about the other being irrational. I’m personally inclined to believe it’s either all fake or both parents are just not coping well
"I wouldn't insult a baby, just like I wouldn't insult a human"
Was that an accident or an intentional joke because of the alien thing? 😂
I didn't even notice what this implies😂
😂😂I didn’t even notice
“Babies are not human” -people who don’t have babies 😆
You would be surprised how many people do not consider babies as fellow human beings 😅
with so many of these Reddit relationship issues I'm just baffled by the lack of communication. Like editing someone for Instagram is alright as long as you talk about it and everyone is on the same page, but your partner shouldn't discover you're giving her a bigger chest by looking at your feed through someone else's account. The solution so often is "just talk to each other oh my god"
We tend to mirror what we grow up with so perhaps a lot of these people weren't exposed to good communication
Lmao fr communication is so important
@@leenibeeni861 most people haven't, in my experience. (this is why it pisses me off when people get upset in general about having to do discussions, presentations, group work, and the like in school/college. There are exceptions, like for anxiety or mental illness etc, but for the most part, people just dont want to do it cause they dont like/dont know how to communicate, when in reality its exactly what they need to do to learn. Sorry, rant over)
@@rexana_rexana to be fair, on those things you mention, there's commonly not really a lot of guidance on how to do it (in my experience) such as lessons on how to structure or how to talk or where to look so if you never learned it from home you're just thrown into the deep end. I know this is a tangent lmao but i just wanted to say it haha
Yep lol. It just happens that lack of communication is a big issue in a lot of relationships.
i love how cristine and ben are talking about their cat getting married and her financial stability when she gets married to a guy who can only afford a ring pop so seriously
Literally laughing my ass off at that
About the witchy girlfriend: she either believes she's actually cursing the boyfriend or she is manipulating him.
In either cases I couldn't be with someone that wishes me bad or leverages on my fear/ignorance to get me to do what I want.
That guy better run!
She and the hair cutting husband would be a match made in heaven LOL
Exactly. Absolutely terrifying. I feel bad for the guy. Christine's take was very weird and not at all logical nor rational, which is very strange to me considering she tends to have a rational opinion on many things.
the fact the guy used the term 'lez out' shows that he doesnt respect lesbian relationships ect. she should tell him how she feels and if he doesnt genuinely apologise, he needs to gtfo
Part of me wonders if he even sent it himself. Maybe a "bro" was pranking him. I'd TRY to keep an open ish mind but I totally understand the anger.
@@racheld1310 that is be a interesting take. But I don't think after that incident you can ever look at your partner in the same way
@@racheld1310 if he’s hanging out with “bros” that act that way though then he’s obviously someone who acts the same or at least excuses these types of actions.
Oh i didn't understand what lez out meant and i hate it-
I wouldn’t be with anyone who doesn’t respect lesbian relationships period, that comment is enough to find a better man
Omg who remembers that picture of Kris Jenner and Gordon Ramsay and she edited the hell out of both of them lmaooo
Yuuuup 😂
I didn't know about that and now I can't unsee it
Thank you for saying this, I remembered this but not the specific people, I was racking my brain ahahha
I just looked it up... 💀
@@fruitygarlic3601 fries are being facetuned, this girl didn't stand a chance:/
Comedian should make a joke about her MIL stealing jokes.
Yes! 10/10 idea
Best idea
I thought about every time she steals a joke, the woman should post or say "I'm so glad you like my joke", but that might wear off quickly. Your idea is DA BEST
💯💯💯
Came here to comment this!
"i always think, ever since I met you I either died or I was put in a simulator. Our relationship is soo perfect"
"WHat'd ya dooooo"
I love them they’re so funny
@@JessicaBrown-xo1hj ikrrr sameeeee
"Subscribe to join our relationship" might be the funniest thing Cristina has ever said hahah
*Cristine**
@@UA-camSupportSucks calm down, it’s just autocorrect
@@UA-camSupportSucks oh i’m drunk go away. lmao.
Ben trying to reword the awkward questions is so funny lol
Oh man the text is hard to get over, the fact that he texted her best friend directly is something I'd find it hard to get past. I understand getting drunk and saying something stupid to your wife, but to her best friend????
Why did he have the wife’s friends number in the first place? Maybe he slid into her DM’s.. if it’s totally out of character he might deserve another chance but I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s done something shady before this
@@clairewillow6475 eh, I don't think him having his wife's best friends number is that big of a deal. there are many perfectly logical reasons for him to have it. like if the two girls were out together and the husband couldn't reach his wife, he could reach out to the best friend, or maybe they planned some sort of surprise party together for the wife at some point. there are definitely many red flags but him having her number isn't necessarily one
@@brimccrea160 I think it could be a red flag in combination with other things. It depends
I have all my bestfriends boyfriends numbers. Hell I text one of the bfs more then my friend some weeks. So I dont think thats weird at all honestly.
About the guy texting his wife's best friend to "get together with her so he can watch" to put it somewhat PG is not only gross for all the reasons stated, it's also invalidating and fetishizing of LGBTQ+ women and femme presenting people. We're not there to be some Dudes fetish, we're real people who exist and love and don't want to be reduced like that.
Edit. I commented too early I just saw that you two addressed that - thank you
Ben's use of "chuegy", "vibe check", and other slang cracks me up
My husband proposed with a $100 cubic zirconia when we were 18! We have now been together for 20 years, married for 12. I would take a ring pop as a 'place holder' so I could pick my own ring but I did/do love it! It's scary how many women on here don't seem to be able to communicate with their husbands very well!
"I would never insult a baby to a baby's face, just like I would never insult a human to their face"
And today we learned that Cristine does not consider babies to be humans.
Lmao
Everyone knows babies are potatoes. I don't know at what point they transition into humans, but they all look like potatoes, no exceptions. Dunno why people class that as being offensive. What have they got against potatoes anyway?
They're not human quite yet but they will be one day.
Just recently I realized that I say "it" when referring to a baby and don't say thier name or gender; I genuinely refer to them as an object or animal😂😂😂
@@AlexaFaie potatoes are the best ....... Idk about babies tho 😂😂
In regards to the first story... I'm 20 and have never even used facetune. Maybe I'm just out of the loop but I honestly don't think editing every single photo you post is "normal" behavior for our age
Me 2
i really don't understand how changing your appearance to fit some beauty standards ( who are constantly changing ) is now considered normal?
Yeah totally agree. I'm 22 and I don't post any pictures to social media at all. If I would I definitely wouldn't use Facetune even if I knew how to. I don't think this is normal behaviour for people our age
i'm 18 and the only reason i've ever used facetune is because i'm trans and not on hormones yet and sometimes i just want to look at my face with the gender filter on. but it's not like i post those pictures anywhere
I don’t get it bc like I don’t want to portray a version of myself that’s not real cause people will know when they meet you in person.
Ben: some people chose their battles
Cristine: I choose to battle
Best part of the podcast for me.
I found a way diferent problem in the last story. She is a witch and she casts spells, therefore she believes in the power off those spells, she also casts spells that sound very angry - why in the world would she cast a spell that she believes could do some harm to the person she's in the relationship with? Her bevaviour is just very malicious and it doesn't sound like she should be with anyone, if she does something that, she believes, could harm someone.
Some relationships are like that.
Just not healthy ones.
She's not a proper witch if she's trying to cause harm. Or at least one who doesn't understand the 3 fold rule.
the "spell" sounded like garbage, I think she was just doing it to put him off. No real "witch", would do that. I'm not saying what she did was right because she clearly did it to eff with him, so that is a whole other issue.
@@AlexaFaie the three fold rule only applies to wiccans, not witches. wicca is a religion, witchcraft is a practice.
@@yippeeflowers As a person who has published research on this, what Wicca does, at least when it originated, is reclaim the demonized witchcraft as a more positivized, beneficient system. And witchcraft was not just a practise (that led to false allegations that Church used to kill innocents), but also something that transatlantic Puritan societies believed to be an actual organized anti-Christian underground religion. What they deemed witchcraft, were actually non-Christian old world religions which were polytheistic and often matriarchal,both traits absolutely abhorred by the patriarchal monotheistic JudeoChristian systems. Hope this clears up stuff. As examples or for further reading should you be interested, look up the benandanti of Italy, or the diva triformis of Diana, or the Sumerian and Minoan religions predating Christianity.
I clicked faster than I could join my Zoom meeting.
Super agree on the engagement ring note! When my now-fiancé and I went ring shopping, the price limit we set was $1000 (which happened to be 1 week of his salary after tax). We looked specifically at gemstone and promise rings, as any “”engagement”” ring was instantly $2000-3000 AT MINIMUM.
I’ll be returning the favour and buying our wedding bands ☺️
Getting a lab grown stone is a great, eco friendly way to save 💍 same with going to non-department store sources. Congratulations on your engagement!! 🤗🤗
Congrats on your engagement! My husband and I split the bill of our rings 50/50 😁
That's cool
Congrats! We bought a 13$ ring from ebay 😎 The wedding official was horrified when she asked for our wedding rings and we pulled our silver cat rings off our fingers and dropped them on her ceremony tray.
My husband and I bought my wedding set at the piercing pagoda kiosk at the mall. $50 for a beautiful set that looks real, doesn't turn my finger green, is solid sterling silver and not coated so it doesn't wear and look copper after a while, it has a lifetime warranty so if it gets damaged or if I need it resized its not an issue, and if I lose them entirely it's not a big deal to just buy a replacement.
42:08 The daughter-in-law needs to create "Mother-in-law" jokes: BOOM...Problem solved. I love you Cristine and Ben. Much respect from Texas!!
I’m closer to Christine and Ben’s age-I’m 34, but I don’t mind when my friends minimally edit my face when they post photos of me. I’ve had friends whiten my teeth, along with themselves in the photo, without asking and I appreciated it. I wouldn’t mind if a friend edited out acne because that’s a temporary condition and a professional photographer might do the same. Enlarging my chest would be a bridge way too far for me. That would really upset me. So I agree, there are shades of grey here, but overall, I would side with the OP on this.
I agree
I feel like the line is where the edited effect is achievable irl with makeup/ironing/light or is a temporary thing like a skin condition or red eye. If the edited me is only possible with plastic surgery, it's a hard NO.
Agreeeeee my sister has edited my pimples out and I THANKED her lol
Yeah for sure, if they're doing some color correction or removing a spot or something that's one thing, but if they're changing your actual features that's a whole other level!
@@ThexBlackxKitty This is exactly where I fall in terms of editing my own photos - the thing I do the most is even out my skin, because foundation would cover that. I wouldn’t mind that sort of minor smoothing out if someone else did it, but changing my shape, my angles? I wouldn’t be happy if someone made my skin LESS pale, and that’s without getting into the potential race issues with skin lightening specifically.
As a happily married (8 years) polyamorous person, my partner and I would never treat people that way! 26:01 Holy shit! That guy is way outta line! The key is to be extremely careful with everyone’s boundaries, and have completely open and honest discourse about literally everything. It’s about happiness for all, not the happiness of one. 😉🖤🥰 Much love to you, Ben & Cristine! 💅🏻
I posted a pic of me and my bf where I had edited my skin a little better. I asked if the picture was good to post in case he wanted me to edit him at all (obviously there was no need) but yeah. Can be solved by just asking!!
Most relationship issues can be solved by communicating 😅 Although it's easier said than done.
@@joannasaadati8810 I agree like all of them usually can be solved by just talking to their partners lol
@@laneyb8911 Yup but I've been with my husband for 16 years and sometimes it's still hard to express my feelings on things but it gets easier with age.
This. And even without asking I wouldn’t have a problem with a partner like photoshopping a pimple off my nose or something extremely minor. But editing the shape and size of my body???? Nooo. Also it’s just embarrassing lol, I’d be embarrassed to have obviously edited photos of myself online because it makes me (and my partner) look insecure.
I (female) would take proposing back to my man as a challenge and top his and make him cry happy tears.
In regards to the proposal story. I agree with OP. I am a 24f and I was proposed to. However if I wasn't ready at the time and we talked about still continuing till I was I would find it completely reasonable that I would be the one to propose next. I already know my partner is ready and only I will know when I am ready too. Proposing is very venerable and can be scary but now you know when you do that person is more than likely gonna say yes. What if they propose again and your still not ready thats alot of uncertainty and pressure to put on someone insteady of just saying when I am ready I will tell you ( by proposing yourself). If that makes sence.
That was such a reasonable and thoughtful choice. Awesome!
Where are you from?
I kind of feel like she rejected because she wanted something more from the proposal and didn't want to say that she was unsatisfied with the proposal... She has mentioned she didn't want to be proposed to in public before he did it, and she was talking about the next proposal after rejecting... I feel like she is very much into getting married but just wants him to do it again. Which is stupid lol but I think maybe that's why she's upset he's not doing it again, because he's being pretty reasonable in my opinion!
I feel like the couple just needs to talk to one another. This is part of of reason why I don't like surprise proposals where the couple hasn't spoken about marriage in any tangible way (timelines, etc) before the proposal, then someone is caught off guard and the person who proposes is hurt. Talking about it solves all these issues. If someone is getting "annoyed" that they have to go to the effort of proposing again, it doesn't sound to me as though they've really talked about it or if they're really ready to get married because there's a heck of a lot more compromising than that in a marriage. I dunno. Just my two cents as a 33yr old lady 🙂
It's all about respecting each other's boundaries and choices
i can't believe it. i've been in a long distance, poly relationship with the simplycouple for so long and i didn't even realize it
I love when cristine says “I reject that” to some antiquated bullshit
😱 can you imagine if your partner passive aggressively cut your hair every once in awhile? Then denied It? How long would it take to lose your mind?
Why losing your mind? Just stop dating that persin. Your partner can't control your appearance or your character. That's crazy 👀
@@libilmf I think you're missing their point entirely lol
The first time would be enough honestly. Like we can't have a conversation? You've gotta cut hair? Mkay bye
Literally gaslighting lol
If my partner did that to me, I wouldn’t be mad. It would be so out of character for him that I’d be very worried and get him to a doctor fo find out what’s going on mentally.
literally woke up fuming because I already graduated and didn't need to be up this early but this makes everything better
Congrats!
@@AndromedaChace thank you!!💟
lmao congrats !!! props to you
"I understand where you're coming from but I think that that's bullshit" LMFAO I'mma use that a lot I can already tell🤣🤣🤣🤣
I think the husband who cut his wife’s hair, it was out of some controlling ownership kind of thing. I don’t think it was just a weird impulse or that he wanted her hair to be shorter. I think he did it very intentionally to show her how he “owns” her.
It's also a form of gaslighting to pretend he did nothing and she's just going crazy. The "why" isn't important. The fact that he's doing it at all is a very big problem.
@@wolfferoni Yes. With gaslighters and abusers you can spend a lot of time wondering why, trying to find a reason, trying to make sense of it, and that's completely natural, but it's actually not important why they behave that way. Just the fact that they would do it (like cut your hair in your sleep, harm you in any way, threaten you, not respect your boundaries, whatever it is) is enough to get away from them.
It doesn't matter why. There may be a reason, but it's not an excuse. And the reason may well be that they enjoy inflicting pain, but that's very difficult to wrap your head around, especially when it's someone you trust.
Don't get stuck trying to understand why. Take care of yourself and leave!
Maybe he just wanted to get her one of those fancy genetic heritage tests and needed a sample :)
Maybe he accidentaly got like uh... gum on her hair and had to cut it to get it out and was too embarrassed to admit it😅 or at least I'd hope it could be something innocent like that and not like some sinister gaslighting and/or fetish/control thing D: either way though... he shouldn't have lied about it when he got caught....
@@jasmint3207 wow i love your comment, it is something i have never heard before but i feel it is very important! Thank you
Ben’s response to the husband drunk texting the bff 👏🏻 👏🏻 👏🏻
The husband who saying the wife is being neglectful or has postpartum depression really rubbed me the wrong way 😠
A huge issue is that he didn't text his wife asking to open a conversation about opening their relationship. He texted her friend implying that she should seduce his wife so that he can watch. Eww!
She's telling her jokes before she gets a chance to, which could potentially end up making her look like she's stealing the jokes from her mother-in-law and not the other way around. And the fact that she is potentially trying to make a career of it makes her look even worse.
professional joke stealer
This MIL made a huge mistake because the comedian can just make an entire standup routine about the joke-stealing MIL and it would be hilarious.
Kids start getting interesting when you can interact without having to celebrate everything they do... I met my nephew as a baby because I was pushed to his christening, which I also disagree with, but my relationship with him started discussing Wolverine when he was 5. Best decision I've ever made!
These kinds of episodes and the other reddit discussion episodes are my favourites! Always interesting to hear both your takes on each situation (also the curation of which reddit post to bring up is always great)
"I would never insult a baby to a babies face" 😂😂
Newborn babies do kinda look like potatoes tho, I've had 3 children and thought that bit was hilarious 😂
Am I the only person who thinks the person going to get prepared food so often may be *meeting* someone in the prepared food section of the grocery store? 👀
Yep, that would be horrible even as an accusation, please don't plant that seed of jealousy into the young mother's mind.
@@johndododoe1411 Well, if it wasn't planted before, then that's a very naive person lol
TEA
Totally what I thought, too.
Can't they meet someone just.. anywhere? That's a bit obssesive for me. Seems like a big trust issue to think so, just based on this fact alone.
So I’m a practicing witch for several years, and that kind of immature shit is what makes us look bad. 😬
Not to mention the stereotypes and misconceptions that have been around for years
Buying prepared food is a big issue on a low income. I'm trying to help my husband get off of prepared food because we really can't afford it and run out of money every month.
Good luck with your husband and the grocery bill! I know way too many people who can't stop buying Starbucks every day or they only want to drink 5 cans of pop/soda every day. Those drinks really add up in cost, and a lot of those drinks are super unhealthy/too sugary...
This was exactly what I was thinking.. my bf has less impulse control with regards to shoppig and it somethimes gets tricky. On top of that... if he is actually using the child as an excuse, that might be a sign of a possible ED? Which I wouldn't whish upon my worst enemy... I stuggle with food quite a bit and when I am particularly feeling bad I tend to eat secretly or make excuses. I really think this shouldn't be just brushed off. Perhaps the guys is super stressed? Think much will be solved by an open hearted conversation?
I wondered if there was a financial issue here, as well.
“Your partner doesn’t need to share the same interests but should respect them” -Ben 2021
Just to add my two bits to the godzilla question. As an autistic person dating another autistic person if one of us genuinely insulted a character that was important to the other it would be a deal breaker (we've been together 2 and a half years, known each other for 9 and plan to get married). I'm not sure how to explain but it's just different for neurodivergent people. Our favourite characters mean as much to us as people in our daily lives, if not more in some cases. If I insulted kermit the way his partner insulted godzilla and genuinely meant it and refused to take it back I know how much it would genuinely hurt her. Especially if she was trying to share that interest with me, its just different for neurodivergent people. Its way more special. It's like inviting your partner to meet your family for the first time but instead its sharing an interest that's meaningful to them
I was thinking this as well! Also..hello fellow neurodivergent people!
Also, her seeming refusal to understand the background of this important character and unwillingness to engage with it at all shows a real lack of respect for the OP. Like, is it so hard to smile and nod while your partner of 3 years talks about one of their passions?
As another autistic person, I was thinking the same thing. Like, that would genuinely really hurt me. I know when my friends shut down my passion rants about random shit, it really hurts.
@@bex1107 It does, but on the flip side sometimes you can only listen to info dumping for so long. I know this as both someone on the ASD spectrum and also as the parent of a kid who has ASD and ADHD. I find it really, really hard to listen to his passion rants for hours on end.
@@faeriesmak oh yeah, of course! But there is a difference between saying “hey, can we talk about something else for a bit. You’ve been info dumping for a while.” And saying “that thing you love it dumb, shut up.”
So my completely unsolicited opinion on engagement ring standards: I remember hearing that way back when women weren't allowed to work, you were expected to get a ring with high resale value so if she became a widow, she could sell it and live off that money until she got married again or found other means to support herself. Nowadays I think the concern over recieving a "cheap" ring is that the partner buying it may have to rely on the other for financial support, and parents are concerned their child could be marrying a freeloader.
Absolutely incorrect. Around WWII, DeBeers came up with a shitty slogan about “how else can two months’ salary last forever?” A lot of men died in war. It was manipulative as fuck. But it worked. Before then, engagement rings weren’t so common among the middle and lower classes. But DeBeers’ ad campaign changed that. Before that, when people did use rings, they weren’t always diamond. I fact, DeBeers controls the import of diamonds and has created an artificial scarcity. They started the diamond engagement ring trend.
It literally had nothing to do with a ring so expensive that a woman could live off the resale value until she got married (that would be a ring costing several YEARS worth of income). It was entirely, ENTIRELY, a marketing tactic.
Any parent who doesn’t care what their child wants and only cares about what they personally want can FUCK OFF. If my daughter was their daughter, and her fiance proposed with a big flashy diamond when she didn’t want jewelry at all, I’d be VERY concerned about his lack of respect for her that he decided she needed a physical marker of being taken.
I was more so thinking of the “dedication” to the marriage aspect. Not saying I agree with this but if the person proposing bought an expensive ring it would be a sign of commitment and genuine want. Saying “let’s get married” is easy, but dishing out hundreds/thousands of dollars over a ring (with no guaranteed chance of getting a yes) shows how much you’re willing to sacrifice for the person you’re asking.
@@sparkyboomboomboi7051 i think it's terrible this concept of sacrificing, that makes it exhausting and it makes it coherent with the fact that marriages tend to not work later on when following these archaic dynamics. My opinion tho.
@@sparkyboomboomboi7051 there's absolutely no way im letting my SO go into debt to buy me a fucking ROCK to "prove commitment" to me or whatever. i can't fathom how a relationship culminates into a thousand(s of) dollar(s) rock? there's much more to it than that. I'd be happy with a $90 ring from Etsy, regardless of what my SO could afford because i already know the commitment and passion is there.
For the grocery store food one! Ben completely glossed over the gaslighting!!! The dude was saying that she's being neglectful and has PPD!!! That's a huge red flag! Turning it back on to her when she has valid concerns. Even if it wasn't about the food going to the Dr 4 times a week is a problem! And really shitty of him to turn it back on to her when she expresses those concerns!
You don’t know what gaslighting means. There are new parents who feel a loss of control and scared. Even pre-Covid, I personally knew new parents who freaked the fuck out of EVERYTHING to the point that *I* was telling them to stop bothering the doctors, it’s normal to not have the exact same number of diapers a day, that it is very normal for babies to have days where they sleep more or less. If he’s freaking out more, and expected her to, he might genuinely believe this is because of PPD.
Gaslighting is intentionally trying to make someone question their perception of reality. I doubt he’s doing that. Most likely he’s depressed and that food is how he’s coping, and as a new parent, that stress and worry is exacerbating things.
@@Author.Noelle.Alexandria we don't know if it's intentional but if he is making it up. Then he definitely is gaslighting her blaming her desire to not want the baby to go the Dr 4 times a week (which is excessive by any measure) on PPD which she does indicate she has. Which is definitely bman attempt to make her think that she isn't in the right mindset to judge how eften he should be taking the baby to the Dr. That is an excellent example of gaslighting.
Does anyone else often have the urge to shout other possibilities at them wishing this was a conversation 🤣
I used to work with a guy who was absolutely obsessed with Godzilla so there are definitely stans out there. His desk was basically covered in various memorabilia, it was really impressive.
A very much-needed dose of common sense and positivity! Hey Cristine and Ben!
The proposal story-- if she was mentioning it so soon after, it sounds to me like she wasn't satisfied with the proposal and wanted a new, different one.
That’s exactly what I was thinking, sounds like she wants something a bit more Instagramable.
@@chantellechantelle2955 In that case, she’s not really ready to get married.
The story of the husband repeatedly taking the baby to the doctor sounds more like the husband has anxiety about the baby and feels like he needs to take him to the doctor to relieve the anxiety.
Ben's speech on the first minute about his relationship just touched me!
Ooh Cristine puts a glossy taco on Ben's eyeballs in Photoshop...tea
I know they always say they don't have a perfect relationship, but who can resist m e l t i n g every time Ben talks about his relationship with Cristine? He's so in love with her, I want to cry.
I never liked children. I've always thought of them as kinda annoying, loud and - yes - quite ugly (compared to other beings' babys, such as kittens, etc.). My boyfriend is 8 years older than me and after like 1 year of being together I learned that he really likes children and eventually wants to have children of his own. This scared me alot and we had a big fight because of that, since I felt pressure to get children someday - while he couldn't understad why I didn't like them... My arguments against children are mostly based on the fact that I don't enjoy them and don't want to bring anyone into this horrible world we are all living in. He was offended by this at first, since for him it always felt like it's his purpose in life. I was so scared that he would want to break up with me because I do not want to have kids. Luckily he took some time thinking about my arguments and agreed on the fact that what our parents did is not always the right path for us to follow, too. I mean: just cause your parents had kids and society somehow portraits it as the ultimate goal in life (my opinion), it shouldn't be the reason to also have children. He told me, that he never looked at the subject from a different angle before and now that he does, we are mutual that we do not want to have kids any time soon. He told me, that being with me is more important and that he doesnt want to break up. Maybe one of us isn't able to get kids anyway. We are together for nearly 4 years now.
sorry for the long paragraph, just wanted to write this down for some reason. Sorry for my bad english - if anyone reads this which is highly unlikely. in my defense: Im from germany.
Hey I read it! I’m glad that you find a person not only agree with you on that important issue but also can come around and try to look at things in your perspective.
I don’t see having kids is my ultimate purpose in life at all either. But I’m not 100% sure that I won’t change my mind in the future so I feel like I shouldn’t say that I don’t want kids. Sometimes I want to be as sure as Cristine about her decision to be able to say that.
@@pjnkblue Hey! Thank you so much for your sweet reply 😊! I totally understand you, there is always a possibility, that one might change their mind about such a life-changing matter. I'm ofc also not 100% sure about my decision. We'll see what the future holds for us.
I wish you all the best🥰
I have an idea for the joke stealing one. OP should just make a bunch of jokes that she thinks the mother-in-law might try to steal before she does, or tell her family members the jokes and then when the mother-in-law tells the jokes they won't be as funny and will be obviously stolen.
The best relationship advice is watching how happy you two are together. I've kept you both in mind as I've navigated the dating world. After 5 years of being single, and being determined to find happiness like the two of you have, I found it. Thank you for being wonderful people. Him and I have been together for about 2 years, and its been amazing. Like you guys, we also don't have a set anniversary lol
Loving this podcast!! Longtime viewer here. I love when you guys give your input on relationship stuff, because it's kind of like receiving advice from your parents. Not technically qualified, but very valuable advice from very sensible people with some experience of their own. Thank you so much for these, guys. Your podcasts always make my week better. :)
Am I in a relationship? no
Am I gonna watch this till the end ???
YESS
He's not passive aggressive Hun, he's 🌟gaslighting🌟 you. Leave.
Thinking about it maybe he did it for a paternity test and cut so much off out of revenge or resentment
Counter argument on the ring thing, and on the whole financial status symbol argument: As much as it should be taught and encouraged that their child (daughter in this case) can hold their own financially, modern day living costs are designed to be divided between 2 incomes. If the daughter is marrying someone financially irresponsible, it doesn’t matter how responsible she is. They as a pair will be more likely to suffer financially, and the divide in responsibility can be the root of issues down the road. Yes, a ring is a poor example of that, but I can see how more traditional parents would default to concern about it.
Cristine: What's an ugly baby?
Me: You'll know it when you see it 😂🤣😅
My husband and I call our daughter Potato for the exact reason that she looked like a potato-alien when she was born 😂 I'm glad we're not alone in our opinion!
I love parents who call their baby "ugly names" like that😭 I saw a tiktok thing of parents showing their pretty toddler but then how ugly they where as newborns and it was so funny😭
that sneezing when aroused thing is actually something. my fiance does it! its kinda funny bc he doesn't always sneeze when aroused but most time he does.
Glad to see a Menchie appearance at the start!
them debating about Menchie’s financial status was so funny to me 😭💗
i get so hyped when he calls us super simps lmao
Me2😂😂
Pagan here, maybe I can shed some light on the "Witch Girlfriend" story. Cloaks are totally still used in some traditions, so it might depend on the tradition she's apart of, but she could very well have a cloak. Back to the actual issue though.... Cursing someone, even as a joke, is a bit of a "no no." how most witches/pagans treat spells, is that its the thought and intention that makes the spell. So its less about the potion, or physical thing that you make, and more of the thoughts and focus on the thing you want. SO even jokingly thinking about cursing someone, would cause you to think about cursing someone, and possibly curse someone if they believe that sort of thing. Christine is right, its the power of belief that matters here, and its kinda sh*tty for someone to even jokingly curse someone.
Yeah I think it’s less the fact the she was “cursing” him and more that she was actively wanting to hurt him.
Thank you for sharing this!!
Godzilla stan here. I would have to draw the line at "Godzilla is just a big lizard". I seek comfort in the stuby arms of my thousands of dollars in vintage Japanese soft vinyl. Tbf my partners have always thought my collection was pretty cool but maybe they were just saying that?
I'm not a Godzilla super fan, but I deeply respect the lore ESPECIALLY the huge cultural impact of the 1954 "Gojira" film. It's crazy that someone hears the origin story and cultural meaning of Godzilla, and all they can say is, "It's just a big lizard." (facepalm)
Godzilla is a big lizard, but that doesn't make it any less cool. Plus, i heard that the lore is really cool. I think the problem is the disrespectful way she dismissed his interests. It was really mean of her to say that and imply that his interests were silly and unimportant.
Ben:hello super simps
Cristine: rolls her eyes
I love it❤❤❤
The way Ben talks about Cristine makes my heart melt. I need someone that talks to me that way ❤
my take on the situations:
bf who edits: honestly, that sucks and they should have a talk abt what's the issue that he needs to edit her face. esp without her knowledge or maybe opinion abt if the edits are making her feel uncomfortable
ring pop proposal: honestly, sometimes u just have to ignore the nay-sayers. if that's what u wanted, then enjoy it and be happy. no one is getting hurt by his choice so i don't think its bad to ignore them just this once.
sneezing gf: i mean, considering he cares enough to have you checked out, i think he'd understand. maybe go to the doctor first to confirm but generally, if he's as sweet as he sounds, he wouldn't judge u.
grocery store husband: i rlly hope it's not related to some kind of compulsion to bring a baby to the pediatrician bc that's not healthy and can lead to helicopter parenting but in general, have an open discussion abt the correlation of the two and if there really is one.
potato baby: generally, if that's how they react to just small things, it's a red flag. that's an immature response. i do agree maybe she was overthinking his comment and maybe she's hurt but i think employing the cold shoulder isn't a solution so i hope that if this was her ploy to break up, she should have just been straight up.
drunk text husband: i mean maybe im crazy bc i immediately thought maybe its a fantasy to him? (not saying its okay to do that in anyway) but idk, maybe they could talk about what he meant and she can share that she doesn't like it? idk, as much as drunk words are sober thoughts, maybe he could have worded it better to explain it without reaching that creepy level
godzilla: honestly, if the guy is rlly hurt, he should tell his gf. you dont need to understand everything your partner likes but she should be called out if she's making him feel bad instead of respecting him
sleep haircut: honestly, stay away from him for a while. as much as maybe im reading into the passive aggressive comment, i just think its unsafe to do that and you could have been injured. that's creepy and its a total violation of privacy.
2nd proposal: honestly, maybe neither of them should do it by surprise or like do that traditional thing. i totally understand maybe not wanting to get turned down again but you cant rlly impose that on someone else. it wouldnt feel that authentic for what is supposed to be a sweet and intimate moment.
joke stealing: honestly, jokes are hard to defend as yours and i guess it rlly depends on how much u wanna fight for this. have a conversation with her but yeah do it with your husband and try to get him to understand that you worked hard and he shouldn't let his mother disrespect her. especially since the marriage seems recent, you might be called the overreacting new wife. so try to have backup.
witch gf: honestly, i feel less weird abt the witchy-ness, more than it seems kinda unfair she's cursing him for misunderstandings. and i hope if he openly shares that it makes him feel unsafe she'll stop. bc maybe she thinks its fine for now, but yeah tell her and her reaction should indicate the next move from there.
tldr: communicate with the other person. honestly all problems could be solved if people just articulated their issues better. because all of these seem to boil down to miscommunication issues. idk these are just my takes.
I personally think one perspective the parents might have had with the ring pop could be that they were worried that the guy did not take their daughter and becoming a family seriously. I don’t think parents should harp on their kids life decisions after explaining that this was what they wanted but looking at it from a different perspective can be important.
Cristine “I wouldn’t change anything about your appearance though” meanwhile it’s Ben Photoshop haircuts😂❤️
I will forever respect how you two are able to disagree and continue a conversation with each other. The simple "I see your point but" or "I disagree because" is really great for people to see an example of how to respectfully disagree with someone, especially their partner
I recently moved to the US and the best thing so far is being able to watch your videos as soon as they come out😂
Is that a time zone thing or was YT blocked?
The witch girlfriend made me laugh. It’s funny af “i place a curse on this soul sucking manchild” 🤣🤣🤣
Re the Gozilla thing, I agree with Ben that it's an interesting take on the multi-generational negative impacts of the nuclear age on Japan, and I find it fascinating that, in contrast, the U.S.'s take on nuclear exposure is that it makes you a superhero 👀
I am really happy that we didn't have an engagement ring and we even shared the expenses evenly for our wedding rings 😁 and I didn't pick the 'standard' hilariously expensive type but ordered our rings from a one man manufacturer specially designed for us for waaay less money with the same durability 😁 so go on people, do everything the way the two of you agree on 😊
I LOVE that the guy expected the girlfriend to propose to him. Or is it just that he thought she would just one day say okay I'm ready lets get married ? Idk ahah. But yeah i just really like that.
I like that you talked about humans and babies as if they're two separate things. You really do think babies are aliens 😂😂
Cats before babies (?)
@@Naluvaz yes!!! I have two cats and zero humans. Cats are perfect self-cleaning cuddle predators. What do babies even DO??
My husband proposed in our dilapidated kitchen with his class ring. This week is our 13th anniversary. The ring does not matter and neither does the place. Only the person.
Happy anniversary!
My high school teacher had the best engagement story I've heard so far. (I prefer engagement stories with a lot of personal touches.) She and her husband loved baseball, so he proposed to her on the pitcher's mound after the game. He gave her a very simple ring that he made in his garage workshop, and she still wore it everyday for the following decades. Happy Anniversary @christy ward !!!!
Congratulations! I proposed to my husband in our kitchen while making dinner, no ring or anything (although later on he did get me an engagement ring, which we designed together, and I got him an engagement watch). I agree the important thing is the person and the commitment. We've been together for 24 years (married for 19).
I couldn't wrap my head around what was my problem with the X months of salary for a ring but the term status token sums it up pretty nicely. It has a nice ring to it. Yeah I know I'll show myself out.
My parents went with the fancy ring for the marriage itself. Still lasted a lifetime.
I honestly think the issue with the Godzilla post is that the girlfriend isn't just expressing disinterest. It's obvious that he's passionate about that franchise, but she still belittles his interests and dismisses it, and is even insulting. I feel like, as a partner, you should at the very least make an effort to learn about your significant other's interests. The fact that she couldn't even be bothered to accompany her bf to the movies shows she doesn't really respect his interests. He states that it isn't the fact that she doesn't like Godzilla but rather the fact that she is so adamant about learning about one of his interests.
The impression I got is that he has gone on and on about it (he even said he’s tried going into the history and such, KNOWING SHE ISN’T INTERESTED) until she’d had enough and snapped. He didn’t respect her. She said no, and that means no.
Husband wanting his wife to hook up with her best friend... He's got serious issues if he doesn't let it go and respect her and her friend's feelings. 🤷🏼♀️ I love Beeeyyyn's response to this. 🤣
Was that story copied from the movie "The Prize Pulitzer"?
@@johndododoe1411 I don't know, never saw that one.
@@johndododoe1411 I don't think so. It's a very common theme.
I don't think it's an issue, necessarily. Some people fantasize about seeing their partner with someone else.
It becomes an issue when he harass other people with whom he doesn't have that kind of intimacy.
Yes!!! Downloading so I can listen in the car. Love these type of podcasts. Love you guys!
The sneezing thing is legit! My grandmother, unfortunately, confessed to me that my grandfather would always sneeze when he was "feeling frisky and during the act" This led to me giving him sideways glances anytime the poor man sneezed and never knowing whether to say "bless you or GO GET'ER Papa!"
In my experience, babies start to become more "interesting" at 3 months old. That is when they really start looking at you more, and when they start becoming more interactive. My nephew just turned 3 months and now he's looking up at us, smiling, laughing, and when you talk to him he will make noises back at you
Honestly I loved what Cristine had to say about sticking up for yourself with family members and drawing boundaries for yourself and that the way they react is on them not you! I’ve been learning so much of this in therapy and she’s totally right 💯
I've seen some beauty influences complaining that they were at an event and took a group photo and the person who took the photo edited themselves and not the others and put it on their social media. So I guess the individual situation matters but in the Reddit situation obviously that's messed up of her bf to do.
I love when Ben said at the beginning that meeting Cristine changed his life 🥺 that's so sweet 💞
I once had a crazy dream that you did break up. Cristine kept talking over Ben, so he stormed out of a vlog, saying that he hates "big UA-camrs". As a result of the break up, Cristine cut her hair in a bob. Ben was never seen on the Internet again. The only thing I took from this dream is that; I want a bob
XD
that's so random lmao
My sister did a Bob haircut (she had butt length hair like Cristine) and donated to the cancer Institute. My grandma started crying at the first sight after she cut her hair and didn't speak with her for a month!
do itttt
@@vigneshnehru9822 wow I don’t really get people who get that upset about hair unless you’re indigenous or something and it’s something spiritual.
I've been seeing this guy for over a year. Honestly the best relationship. No fights, no insecurities. We don't post about each other on social media- we're private but not a secret. I think a huge part of it has a lot to do with age and maturity. We don't (at least I don't and his actions say that we're on the same page) edit photos cuz it is what it is, we communicate well, we both have our own stuff going on with our own priorities so everything is just smooth sailing