When women make an index of guys at their university, it's usually one to warn each other about predators. That one of the guy creating a "pokedex" was NOT doing for that reason.
Even the reason they gave is awful. Imagine trying to over ride the filters a woman might have around her space by faking an interest in her you don't (can't) really have.
the only good thing about this list was we weren't compared to objects this time, so I guess that's like .5% better than usual. But seriously, who does that? Creepy af and manipulative. Here's how you find out all that information you can get on the spreadsheet. TALK TO HER.
The one with the young sibling strikes a theory in me: The sister keeps bringing her college plans up because no one will celebrate with her. The family is sick of hearing about it and withholds communication or approval which makes her fight harder for approval and annoys them further. That why even though what he said wasn't that bad, the intent to shut her up was heartless and she was super upset. I hope she had friends to celebrate with. I bet she'll love being away from home.
This exactly!! And honestly on the families side, even if you ARE annoyed about your daughter being proud of her achievement, she'll be on campus the next semester. At least fake your investment until then. There was no need for the brother to be so cruel and for the mother to endorse it.
I thought the same because something similar happened to me. When my brother got in college, everyone celebrated him, like I remember my mom screaming in joy and jumping hugging him because of how proud she was. Everyone would talk about it, and I remember being slightly jealous of him, but I never did anything bad. Although years later, affected me more, because when I got in college, nobody celebrated me, heck, took my mom years to even know what I was studying, and whenever she would talk about it to other people she would roll her eyes when saying it
for the “pokédex” one, even if the guy who initially made it doesn’t use it for “nefarious reasons”, it’s still weird, first of all, but it’s also extremely naive to assume it’s not being used in ulterior ways ESPECIALLY when its shared between around 40 FRAT guys
Damn, the "Katie" question hit hard because I was a Katie multiple times in middle and high school. I always felt left out and never had a group of friends I knew would welcome me to sit with them at lunch. I would try to make friends, but I could always tell these groups were just being polite out of pity. I would've left them alone but I didn't have any other friends I could go to instead. I thought maybe I could show them more of my personality and somehow win them over in time, but it never happened. Eventually, the group I was trying to be part of would go out of their way somehow to segregate themselves from me (changing lunch periods, always gathering at the house of the friend who lived far away from me, ect.) I was suffering from severe OCD and depression at the time, so in hindsight I can understand why people didn't want me around. But still, thinking about those times hurts.
I was also a Katie in middle school, floating around & never having a real group of friends that actually liked having me around. I’ve seen a few people comment that they were the Katie at their school…I wish we all had each other to be friends with growing up 😂❤
Anyone relating to Katie in that story might be autistic. It’s certainly very similar to what a lot of autistic people experience, myself included. My only tip is to find other autistic people to socialize with, since you’ll likely have similar socialization styles.
The issue with Katie's story here imo is that they waited three years. They're implying that they were vague about their wants for three years, and could clearly tell she wasn't getting the message, and now want to tell her it's not working. It's going to be heartbreaking for her. Yes confrontation is scary, but realising you've been unwanted by people you thought were your friends for three years is mortifying. They could have saved her a lot of pain by being honest a long time ago.
If they already put up with it for 3 years they can put up with it for one more year haha. You don’t have to stay friends after college. One of them needs to talk to her one on one and offer to get her help to talk about her issues-like getting her an appointment with a guidance councillor. Explain to her that those topics are too heavy for dinner/hanging out casually with friends
I know i might be reading too much or projecting but Katie sounds Autistic(? Someone who cant read social cues and probably has some weird interests she can't stop talking about, so yeah, they should have deffinetly told her directly and sooner
I went back to the first post and turns out the sister got into McGill, which is a great school even outside of Canada, the brother is probably just immature and jealous but the parents are insane for thinking their daughter is annoying for mentioning she got into McGill
Truly! McGill is really well known in the States for being a great school. it sounds like these parents are attributing completely wrong intentions to a child who just wants them to share her excitement and pride. How mean! You are her parents, you SHOULD be proud of your daughter's achievement. I hope she finds some friends at McGill that can give her the excitement and support she probably desperately needs.
Plot twist? Katie is just a sociology and psychology student conducting a social experiment to see how long it takes for someone to tell a stranger to leave their friend group??
I’m an autistic adult and I was often Katie in life. I’ve grown and do have friends now but often times, those “cues” don’t get through to autistic people. You have to be explicit with boundaries. It may feel harsh but it can be done in a way that isn’t mean. It’s appreciated because it cues us into what you are saying nonverbally.
To answer Simply's question about open book exams nowadays, I had electronic open note exams in uni and we were allowed to upload 1 pdf file of our notes to our school website and during the exam download that pdf onto a school computer for reference. Basically I could Ctrl+F my way through a 300 page pdf during the exam. However it was an analysis course so the exam was about problem solving rather than memorization so having access to the information didnt mean that we didnt study.
Blaming the teacher for failing a class is just plain cruel unless a large percentage of your peers are also failing due to poor teaching. I had to retake organic chemistry but I’d never blame the professor for my poor grade.
Yes exactly. I’ll take responsibility if I’m not doing my work but once in high school I had the worst ap chem teacher. They couldn’t find someone to fill the role bc the previous ap chem teacher (who also taught me chemistry honors before I took ap chem) went onto a research firm job instead of teaching. They put a random biology teacher in the role of ap chem teacher and she could NOT teach that class at ALL. Literally one time, we all got like 50 on a quiz. Our class was only 11 students lol, so we all studied together and were CONFIDENT on our answers. We looked into it and the teacher had graded the assignment wrong!!!! She graded answers that were correct as wrong. We took it to admin and they started sitting in on her class and making her follow more AP teaching styles bc she was just WINGING it the whole time. We all ended up failing the AP exam and most of us all ended with a B or C. Literally the worst class I ever had to take. She could not teach that class and she wasted a LOT of time. She soent like two whole months going over honors chem work when we should have only focused on that for two weeks before moving onto the AP material. It was such a mess.
Very true. Or if they’re clearly teaching poorly. I had a geometry teacher who told us our test would be on a certain thing, so I went home and studied for hours. Math was the only class I struggled with and it gave me anxiety even going into her classroom. Then we start the test and it was on *nothing* we studied. She said we should have been prepared anyway. I’ll never forget that shit lol
Who else is kind of happy for Cristine and Ben that they've relaxed enough now to not filter their language? So many "fuck bombs" and honestly, I'm here for that fucking energy. 😂
i knew someone who had the whole “slept through exam and failed their exam” thing the difference though, which absolutely warranted an asshole verdict was that the roommate turned the other person’s alarm off. i heard this story secondhand from the jilted party perspective but from the information ive been given is that person A was sleeping through an alarm clock that was still in the process of going off and person B turned their alarm off without attempting to wake them up and then left…
I don't know, the one about the library was weird. If I saw a child cry for about an HOUR with a mother doing absolutely nothing to fix it I would immediately assume it's one of those entitled Karens. It also just sounds like she didn't care about her kid at all.
As a common courtesy thing she should have stepped out of the library to soothe the baby for the sake of everyone else. In defence of the mum just a bit tho, the baby continuing to cry doesn’t necessarily mean she was at no point trying. If the baby was sick, teething, the comfort toy had been lost, etc, it could be something out of the control of the mum.
Yeah, im on the op's side for the most part on that one. Not being able to take a test in a quite place like they wanted (i'm assuming this was probably durring covid given the restrictions), and having adhd while trying to take a test, I can only imagine a baby crying for 1-1.5 hours can be incredibly distracting. And some babies have quite a set of lungs on them. Some people are also more sensitive to noises then others. I think though there may have been something going on with the mother given the reaction, and I think perhaps op could have handled it a tad better but the librarians should have already said something to the mome if it had been going on that long.
Really? The reaction doesn't sound like a Karen, it sounds like a mother who is having trouble being an actual mother. Like the breaking down immediately and not even trying to sooth her child, to me it sounded like that mother could in some serious post-partum trouble/depression. I mean it shouldn't be the librarians job to triage this kind of situation and they have a good reason to kick her out for consistent conduct violations. I just wanted to mention that it might not be her being an uncaring privileged Karen but someone who is some serious mental crisis which is why she's acting really really strange for someone with a baby
@@charliev4156 Mostly agree, but even if it wasn’t in the mother’s control, other patrons shouldn’t be subjected to a baby crying especially if in a place that is expected to be quiet. What gets me is that this should’ve been addressed by the staff, not OP.
Hey! Just to weigh in on the Katie story, I think it's also important to not shelter a person from the nature of reality because of their past experiences or mental health. Of course I think it is important to be compassionate and approach the situation from a place of kindness! But to allow the behavior to continue despite the discomfort of the friend group isn't really doing Katie any favors for future situations where she may be met with rejection. 💜
Me, a Katie… also a 20 year old university junior with few friends and severe social anxiety… the Katie story is exactly what I think others think and that’s why I don’t really make friends…
Once I let someone look at part of my homework at university, the teacher figured out that the other person's answer was similar and we both got half a grade, that's how I learned to keep my stuff to myself. After graduation I was tutoring some students and one of them wanted to pay me to write her essays and I terminated the tutoring. I was fine guiding her to write but her idea of writing was to paraphrase a whole Wikipedia entry and I didn't want to work with someone who is willing to cheat so blatantly.
I almost got in trouble for plagiarism in college. I was an environmental science major and we were put it groups to develop a lab report together. I thought since we were in a group, we’d be responsible for writing a portion of the report and then putting it all together for the final document. Well. I did not find out until turning it in that that was not the case. My prof was ready to fail us all for plagiarism. I said please do not fail everyone, just fail me. I was the only one that didn’t ‘reword’ their report to after reviewing the other group members portion. I still stand by this that it’s total bullshit. I’ve been in the work force for almost 10 years and that’s not how shit gets done
When I was in high school, I was top of my class and a very well rounded and responsible student. Despite this, my parents told me I wouldn't be able to "make it on my own" and told me I couldn't go to a four year university and would have to stay at our community college (disclaimer: I have NO issues with community college. It's just my college did not have the degree path I desired, and it would have set me back two whole years on my professional progress since the degree I wanted to pursue was fully loaded each year). So, I worked my butt off to get into my state's four year university and get a scholarship for it. When I got my acceptance letter to the college, I told my friends because I was super excited. One of my friends said "yeah, they let anyone with a pulse into that school" and basically made me feel like crap for an accomplishment that literally meant me having freedom and control over my own education. There is NO reason to make someone feel bad for being excited to get into college/university/trade school. If someone is making a decision for their life that they are excited about, that should be uplifted and celebrated!
A lot of my classes had open note exams bc it wasn’t about regurgitating facts but more about creating an argument using facts e.g. in a history class we could use our notes to create a compare/contrast paragraph for for short answer questions etc.
The screaming baby discussion took me back to when my children were younger and we didn't have a car, and a lot of times when I got on the bus with three little ones to go into the city to visit my parents, the youngest, still a baby, would be really tired and start crying. I always felt really bad for the other people on the bus and wanted to tell them "she'll fall asleep as soon as the bus starts moving" which nearly always happened. They cry the most when they're about to fall asleep. Sigh. I'm sorry for the student in the library and sorry a solution wasn't found to accomodate both parties in that case.
26:00 we had an open-book exam during covid times that we took at home via zoom. everyone had to "promise" to just look at skripts and other course work because they couldnt really check if we'd use google or something🤣
As someone with adhd, I did almost have a panic attack when a baby was crying on the plane while i was going on my honeymoon, i didn’t say anything i just got drunk off mini plane drinks🤷🏻♀️ As someone who is a mom now even with my youngest being 7, my boobs still hurt when a baby cries. If my baby was crying, just like at a wedding or anywhere in public but like the grocery store line, i’d leave with my child. I love books, pop a boob in the babies mouth and read your book, i breast fed for like 4 years straight because my kids were only 22 months apart so best believe it’s not hard to read and breastfeed or nurse for comfort. But this woman is trying to take an exam and that more important than annoying everyone being disturbed by your screaming child. Check the books out and go home. walk around and bounce the baby. I’m that stranger that will offer to help a struggling mother, I wear all black the majority of the time and wear a lot of makeup but imma little plump and feel that i look like a nice mom so I always offer to help. Not the asshole. Your baby and you don’t own any space. In my experience boobies always work and breastfeeding isn’t going to bug people who are minding their own business.
Also I'm fairly certain it's actually most American schools go to school in august, whereas most European countries go the first week of September. I've seen way more american high schoolers starting school in august
I feel like most European schools starts in August but I’m not exactly that well read on the matter, we tend to start school in August in most Scandinavian countries
@@yourlittlevenicebtch4258 It's the other way around. Only Scandinavians and Scotland start school in August, rest of the Europe either starts on September 1st or within the first half of September.
I'm 34 and wanted to go back to college. I was informed that I HAVE ONE OUTSTANDING HIGHSCHOOL MATH CREDIT that I need to complete before continuing. Are you kidding me???
Contact your state education board! Talk to them about the situation. I had one credit waived because they couldn’t tell if it was a clerical error or not. Lol.
Having had experience in recruiting there is massive amounts of discrimination when it comes to hiring from brand name schools and non-brand name schools. Ivy League and prestigious uni education carries a lot of weight (which I think is unfair) even for candidates that might be under qualified. Basically to most corporations brand name of school and masters matters more than anything else in education (in my experience)
I used to teach intro classes in college. I let my students bring a note card in to help on exams and gave a couple bonus points for handing over their cards. The act of making the card was forcing the students to study and prioritize what to include and also made the act of cheating pointless since they were allowed to bring in notes. One of the best decisions I ever made as a prof.
I am a teacher at a mostly lower-income vocational high school who teaches German, primarily in the mechanics and carpentry section. I can tell you that in a lot of cases, my students' grades do not reflect their understanding of a subject or overall abilities but rather their living conditions. Unfortunately, a lot of my teenagers deal with family situations that are not ideal: 1) Their parents do not really see the importance of going to school and have their kids work when they are not at school (sometimes even during school); 2) Some teenagers come from broken homes, so noone helps or supports them in their school career; 3) Some of my students are very poor, which means sharing a room with siblings, so they don't have a quiet corner to themselves to do homework or study, or the family doesn't own a computer; 4) Some of them struggle with self-esteem issues and do not believe themselves to be capable of anything, which seems to be more pronounced in teenagers with unstable homes; 5) They have difficulties asking for or accepting help because they learned to be self-dependent, so relying on me doesn't come naturally to them and finally, 6) they might have bigger problems than failing a class, often related to mental heath, financial struggles or family issues. To be fair, I'm not saying that no student is to blame for failing a class because some of them have everything they need to succeed and yet they don't care enough to try. But I would like to highlight that depending on the student's profile, grades are by no means an accurate indication for their abilities.
My profs used open book exams to prove the importance of note taking. No electronics or actual textbooks, just your notes in a notebook or printed out if you did them electronically. I loved them and would actually charge for copies of my notes if someone was scrambling.
Those dreams still haunt me too 😂 It's either I forget to go to class (or all of them), I forget to take a final, or I can't find the classroom or even the building. One dream was that I was back in high school having to take a math test I somehow never took. In the dream I suddenly thought "what are they going to do? Take my master's degree away?" and I got up and walked out. My university was on the quarter system, which I actually liked. I did drop three courses because of the structure of the course but they were all electives in other random departments, nothing in my major. I detest lots of busy work, especially when it's a course that's not in my field. Cristine saying to just go see a doctor. Shall we discuss how the U.S. healthcare works or rather doesn't? Granted I have no clue where that OP was located. It's just the sad reality I live in over here. I agree with Cristine on school feeling so distant. I enjoyed university and sometimes truly feel nostalgic about research papers. In university I couldn't do a final for a ceramics course because of an injury and the professor let me take the course again and present my final project in that course plus did some more advanced projects. I retook math in high school during summer school because the teachers they had in the summer were actually better than the ones during the school year.
cristine saying "I dont have nightmares today about not finishing an exam because its 10 years ago" was a personal attack as someone who is 28 and has this dream and the "can't remember her locker combo" nightly
Referring to the topic that started at 48:00 : I had a class in my psych undergrad that was mandatory and the grade was 100% reliant on one research paper (plus a presentation of the paper at the end of the course). We got to complete 3 drafts of the paper to be reviewed by our prof, but it was soooo stressful knowing that everything came down to one paper!!!!!
For the one about the crying baby, I do think OP could have handled it better but I also think the mother was unreasonable in the situation as well. I completely understand that she didn't WANT to be the mom with the annoying crying baby but it sounds like she didn't do much to prevent the issue. She could have taken the baby somewhere else until they had stopped crying or come back another time. It's also understandable that she may not have had anyone to watch the baby or she really needed the time in the library, however it's extremely rude and inconsiderate to bring an unpredictably tempered baby into a LIBRARY where it is supposed to be quiet so other people can study. If OP was annoyed by it I'm sure other people in the library were as well. There are other places she could have gone to study that didn't force other people to listen to her crying child. I don't think OP was a complete asshole for confronting her, though I do think they could have been a bit nicer about it.
I'm 34 and I still have dreams/nightmares about high school (but not college or grad school). It's mostly about getting lost in the school, forgetting my locker combination, or not going to a class for the whole year and wondering if I can still graduate...
I'm going to have to say NTA on the last story...the women with the baby is TA. Sure she might be there for reasons and she might have to take her baby with her, i get that...i can sympathize with that. It's a library...from my experience in libraries...its quiet unless said otherwise. To have a baby constantly crying and for the mother to let that go on is a major butthole move. People go to the library hoping for it to be a quiet space...and OP went there for a timed exam so she couldn't exactly move to another space. The mother could have done something and maybe she was...but from the info we received from OP it sounded like the mother did nothing and thats my impression too. The baby cried for a FULL HOUR and it didn't stop 👀👀👀, come on ugh. Sure some babies cry and are just impossible to soothe...but idkkkk an hour of crying in a public space? Eeeeee butthole move. If they were both on a plane or in some place where the mother ABSOLUTELY could not leave the space...fine...thats completely fine. Is OP the asshole for getting the mother kicked out...no...are they the asshole for confronting her....yessss...but also no. It's a gray area honestly.
As someone who has a loud sneeze, I literally can't control how loud it is. I still cover my nose so the snot doesn't fly, but my sneezes are still loud. Most of the time it just comes with no warning or tickle in the nose.
I also am like this. I try so hard to cover and muffle my sneeze. But it is so loud it echos though the house and scares people/animals. I’m always apologizing to everyone for the noise, I’m so embarrassed by it, but nothing helps. I sneeze so hard it is painful, and makes my brain feel like my brain had its reset button pushed.
Like Cristine, I preferred multiple assignments that make up your grade and not one big exam that everything rides on. I had four such big final exams in both my major and minor programs that you could not fail twice, lest you be banned from studying that particular program ever again. Like, banned for live at any university in the country. For most courses, we luckily had multiple that assignments, most often a big individual presentation (which is better than group presentation), an essay and small final thesis. But I had one course where the professor kept exact score of how often each student said something in class, this would increase your participation points for your grade, but it was purely a quantitative system and the quality didn’t really matter, so in my opinion, it was really an immature scoring-system more befitting middle-school than uni. And it discriminated against shy students. Luckily, it was just this one professor that focused on participation like this, so I avoided taking any other of his courses.
My high school grading system is tough- it’s 30% practice, 70% assessment. Then you take that, make it 20% of your semester grade, and have the final be 80%. If you aren’t a good test taker, don’t prepare well, or don’t remember something important from like the third week of school that’s a big aspect on the final, it’s so easy to do terribly in a class.
51:41 as a member of a family of loud sneezers, I actually have developed the skill of stifling my sneezes; however, it works on a "charge-based" system. I can control the loudness or even the type of sound I emit, but it's as if the variance of sneezes will only pick away at the need to sneeze. If I sneeze incredibly loudly, it's one and done. However, if I do quiet sneezes, I'll have to repeatedly sneeze (up to 15 times) in order to satisfy that itchy sneezing sensation. I find that the latter is actually much more annoying, because people get tired of having to say "bless you" after the fourth time. If it's appropriate, I'll also make different sneezing noises, like a soft one, then a sharp one, then one that sounds like a cough for comical purposes. Also, the "tongue on the roof of your mouth" trick does indeed work, but it doesn't entirely remove the need to sneeze, so I can't always rely on it. I just believe the structure of my nose collects dust easier, since having wind or a fan on causes me to sneeze pretty easily. Therefore, I believe there are some people who aren't being assholes regarding the audibility of their sneeze, but rather are just genetically inclined to sneeze louder.
It’s different if you’ve been on a date with someone and got to know them THEN take note of something they liked (color, snack, etc.) on a notes app later when you get home bc you simply just forget things and you want to genuinely continue dating. But leave it at that otherwise having a Pokédex with girls information is just plain sh*tty and sc*mbaggy lol
wow, I've lived in a similar arrangement (single room and two beds) with another girl who was a lot older than me and we also were not close, simply bc we lived very different lives (I was in school and she was working a full-time) and a 10 year age gap and as someone who's a pretty heavy sleeper I still have trouble waking up with an alarm(s) or even having close friends/family call me to wake me up but if I had an important commitment I would ask my roommate the previous night to wake me up and she complied. NTA especially if you're not friends. Even if she forgot to wake me up, I wouldn't blame her for making me fail my class, that's just bizarre
I can't remember the last time I dreamed about school. (I'm 43.) However, I DO still dream about my time working at Burger King (early 20s), I worked off and on there for about 3 years, and even now I sometimes dream that I'm still working there but forgot somehow and haven't showed up to work in months and I start panicking. Basically the same kind of dream people have about school, but Burger King instead. Then I wake up like, "Oh thank god, I haven't worked there in 20 years!" Why though! I was never late to work, I was pretty punctual and reliable.
48:13 this whole conversation is insane to me because i’m a UK student and almost every class i’ve ever taken has been 100% exam based. I would have 2-3 exams and each mark would come together to form the grade. The only subject that wasn’t solely exam based was 33% coursework and 66% exam based. Any external option, like what crisitine mentioned where a bunch of smaller assignments form the grade, would have been so much better for my learning style
The pokédex one made me feel kinda anxious bc I do something similar but for a different motivation. I don’t share it with anyone at all; I have just small facts for my friends. I do have a bad memory and idk maybe this just one of the things my brain likes to do bc I’m neurodivergent. The facts I have are like my friends addresses, phone #s, bdays, allergies, fav colors, fav candy, fav food, and things they like. This is mostly bc I like spoiling my friends by getting them smalls gifts sometimes and also for bday/holiday gifts. I do have an iPhone so the notes are just in ppls contacts and also in a little notebook. Idk if ppl still find this weird since I don’t share any of the info.
Right away at 1:50 I actually had an uncle(more of an honorary uncle but he's still my uncle in my eyes) who this very thing happened to. He was sappose to go back to the college he graduated to give a speech and they found out that there was some sort of issue in actually getting the certificate so he technically only graduated less than a year ago. I had so many nightmares about being pulled back to highschool cuz they missed a gym credit or something after that lol
My husband is sneezing so loud it actually scares me many times! I also think that he could at least try to do it more quietly (i think he sneeze like not through nose but through mouth, so it comes with a shout. Im not sure if i explained it well). He refuse to go to doctor to check if everything is fine with his nose (he also make different noises regarding his nose). Soon his brother, who lives at ground floor of the same house, will have a baby. I worned my husband, that he will scare the baby for sure and possibly wake her up many times with those loud sneezes but he still act oblivious :/
OK, as a loud sneezer... It's actually really hard and painful to suppress sneezes. I've tried. The reason they're loud to begin with is that there's a lot of power behind them. It feels like needles are shooting into my throat and head. I've researched this and it can actually rupture blood vessels (to the point of brain injury), which I don't find hard to believe, given the headaches I've gotten from trying to suppress sneezes. Believe me, it's much more embarrassing, painful, and annoying for the person sneezing than people around them...
35 here, only did one year of uni so I'm even further from school than Ben and def still get anxiety dreams where I can't find my class or I'm panicking about an assignment etc
My university is so incompetent and unable to function in bare minimums, i wouldn’t be surprised if they did tell us to come back to take a class or two because they messed up.
One of my favorite memories of school is when, right before a test, the teacher said she will walk around and check our Latin dictionaries before we started. Instant panic in everyone's eyes, pages being stealthily ripped off, crumpled up and thrown into backpacks, then pretending everything is normal when the teacher arrives to the desk😂😂😂
The open textbook test discussion reminds me of the worst exam I ever had. It was a programming class and the teacher insisted that the best way to show you could code was to write code ON PAPER. If you don't know when you write code on a computer you have a lot of tools available for proper formatting and moat importantly you can actually test if it works, so writing on paper is totally different and not applicable to any real life situation.
Actually had the graduation revoking due to a clerical error. Went back a few years later to get some papers and they said I never graduated because I never finished my volunteer hours. I went over them and walked my graduation though lol. Took about a week for them to sort things out
The “Katie” one is horrible IMO. If she asks questions that make you uncomfortable, tell her that question makes you uncomfortable. Some people don’t pick up on social cues unless they are clearly stated. Just tell her when she’s making you uncomfortable instead of deciding as a group not to like her. Intentionally, repeatedly ditching someone at the age of 20 is abhorrent in my opinion.
My husband failed a grade in high school and he wanted to graduate with his friends so he took extra classes his last year and buckled down and passed everything
I am ultimately glad that I got my degree and am in the position I'm in with my career. However, my school program sucked. I studied architecture, and the school of architecture pretty much ignored University standards for class loads, grade thresholds, etc. Classes would often have double the class time and triple the homework per credit than University standards. I took a 4 credit class and was told I should treat it like a 40 HR/week full time job. For ONE class. The University also had a policy that attendance couldn't be mandated/taken as part of a grade (participation could be for seminars, but professors were required to provide make-up work opportunities for students if they missed class). We not only had mandated attendance, but were given quizzes at the beginning of each class that were incredibly difficult and worth a significant part of our grade, with no make up opportunities if you were out. We also had to maintain a B+ average to stay in the program, and all of the classes were difficult. Students routinely skipped meals, didn't sleep for days, and sacrificed social lives, volunteer opportunities, and struggled even more if they had to work while in school. It was literally a living hell, and being 3 years post grad now, I get more and more angry about how my degree did a lot of that to us without good reason. I don't even think it prepared me for my field of work, because its an unsustainable way to life and I've had to unlearn a lot of it.
25:49 so with the whole open book conversation of control F. I mean as a current university student who is doing uni during covid times all my exams have been online and most are open book but when they say open book many of them include your electronic text books the lecture slides and sometimes even the internet. So it really was just control F to find any of the information you needed And that is why most of my exams were applying the knowledge rather than just reciting facts
Sounds like they should recommend her going to counseling. But I mean for 3 years she thinks they’re all her friends, that’s going to be devastating and confusing no matter how they tell her
About the story of Katie, had a similar experience when I was 20 in college. I'm a female, had a friend group of some girls and mostly guys, and we were the board of a school club. Of course for club all are welcome and treat everyone at the very least on a kind professional basis, open to new friendships if it naturally worked out but nbd if not. There was one new guy that made us very uncomfortable outside of club; like when friended on facebook he started posting porn to my friend's wall. Once he basically followed us from dinner to my apartment and when over at a point was in my room and had a really creepy reaction like 'wow, a girl's room', like it was hella creepy, never invited him back and wished he would forget where I live. To try and make a long story short, word reached our club advisor that as a club we were discriminating against the kid, but after meeting and explaining the situation the prof agreed that we're doing the right thing by being cordial and professional in club, but outside of club we can take off our hats and be normal people, and no one is obligated to be friends with anyone. We were never mean to this kid, we just wanted him to not be around us. Eventually if he started finding us at dinner we would split and say we were all busy and go home, then meet up again about 15 mins later, that basically solved the issue. Side story, after I graduated this guy ended up living in an apt with some people I knew and (I guess the door didn't have a lock) he cracked open the bedroom door to watch them have sex. >_
47:30 I never dropped out of a class for that reason but I had a psychology class (was my major at the time but I dropped out of college) where the teacher was so strict. Like lock the door if you're late, no speaking during the class except for like the designated times..just really classically strict and honestly that really worked for me. I loved her class I loved her teaching but so many people hated it and I think by the end half the class was left. It ended up being the perfect class for me bc I have adhd and weirdly a strict and structured class helps keep me focused but only if I like the subject. Otherwise I need a slightly more lenient environment for me to focus.
Test taker in the library is not the asshole. Expecting quiet in a library is not abnormal. Being courteous of everyone else using a quiet space and removing yourself and your screaming baby to calm it down is not unreasonable.
As a person on an autism spectrum, I totally understand not wanting to hear a crying baby or someone talking. I never knew why my classmates were talking after they finished exam and I didn't. I couldn't focus and wanted them dead. Now I know I have high-functioning autism and people like me can't focus when there are disturbing noises. But not everyone is like me, I am the exeption
I’ve been in higher education for the last 12 years, and I am FINALLY going to be graduating with my Master’s at the end of this year. Definitely agree that professors/schools used to not be very good at explaining plagiarism, but over the last few years every teacher I’ve had has had a full paragraph explaining the parameters of plagiarism, including self-plagiarism. FYI I’ve also been to 7 schools in three different states.
In my experience, public libraries are generally not quiet, especially when many people are there and browsing books. Big libraries will have a "quiet" floor or closed off room, where yeah, it's expected to be quiet. But otherwise, don't be an a**hole and let other people also enjoy a public place. There are already so little remaining.
I study law in Australia and since covid we’ve had take home exams. They post the exam questions online and we have 48hrs to submit our responses in a word doc. They advise it will take 2 hours but you can take the whole 48hrs. Law exams at my uni have always been open book but now you can access all the material online. I also access my text books online for free :)
An Acceptance rate of 50% doesn’t mean any one out two persons walking down the street can get in… it’s based on a pool of people who already qualify for the preconditions to apply. Harvard has 5% of acceptance rate, does it mean out of every 100people in my neighborhood, 5 of them went to Harvard?
waking someone up is awkward if you're not super friendly with them. I actually had a VERY similar experience with a roommate in college where I knew she had a 9am exam and she wasnt up at 8.15. I set an extremely loud alarm to go off 5 minutes after I left at 8.20. That way, it woke her up and I could just apologize for accidentally "forgetting" my alarm if they got mad. It woke her up and we had a laugh about the "lucky accident" that helped her get to her exam on time. I never told her I did it on purpose lol.
This is an extremely clever way of waking someone up and perfect for college situations. This made me laugh when u admitted u didn’t tell her it was on purpose 🤣🤣
I did something similar too - roommate had an earlier exam than I did, I got up to get ready (about 20 mins before her exam started) and she wasn't up, but I didn't know if her exam was online or something so I didn't want to wake her up. so I just got ready a little louder than usual, banged around some plates while making breakfast, and she ended up waking up before her exam started. she didn't make it on time because she drove over a curb and popped her tire on the way to the exam (and then had to wait for AAA) but at least she was up
I am a mom. Personally, I would not stay in a library with my screaming baby. I would feel awful subjecting people to what is one of the most grating sounds in the world in an environment that is supposed to be somewhat quiet. However, the mother's response tells me that she may be on the verge of a breakdown over the relentless crying of her baby. Her not even attempting to soothe the baby may point to a baby who will not be soothed. I have known people with babies who never stop crying. It will steal your sanity. I feel bad for the mom, but I also feel it's unreasonable to expect library patrons to listen to a crying baby for an hour.
My new neighbors should be more like you... They have twin boys who keep yelling in the echoey stairs room and they don't do anything about it. The other day the mother had one of them screaming on her doorstep and I'm like "can you please at least have him screaming *inside* with the door *closed*?" and she was like "you say that again when you have children of your own" and I was like "lol this is exactly the reason why I'm never going to have kids". AITA for requesting this of her? I feel like it should be a common courtesy to not subject your neighbors to the grating screaming of your children, and it's not like I asked her to lock them in a closet or plaster their mouth. I merely asked her to take him a meter back and close the door lol
@@Thenoobestgirl Maybe just report her to CPS, I have a son that could scream bloody murder for no end. And I always felt MORTIFIED anyone could hear him, so I would do anything to try and soothe him, especially if we were out in public.
@@ceciliatapioca do not wantonly suggest someone call CPS on a family just because they have rowdy children. Do you not realize the potential consequences, beyond the invasion of privacy?
@@alexey5481 -i would call CPS if I thought the child and/or mother was in a bad position.... such as hanging out in a library as if she had no where else to go with her screaming child. Clearly she needs help. CPS is not the police they help people, even if the pride of the parents might get hurt.
My youngest cried for first 2 months of her life. Turned out she wanted to be a tummy sleeper which any parent can't tell you goes completely against all recommendations for safe sleeping for your baby so I spent the next two months sleeping next to her bed barely sleeping. It was the worst 4 months I've ever had. We had to keep sending my other 2 kids to grand parents so they could get some sleep and my hubby and I took turns sleeping because she wouldn't sleep for more than 15mins at a time. It was awful and she was constantly crying and people would look at me like I was neglecting her when really there was nothing I could do for her and I needed to put her in her pram because my back hurt from carrying her the last 2 hours
My only thought on the baby one is the length of time in which the baby was crying. I completely understand an unsoothable child but after like ten minutes, in a library at that, that she didn’t take the baby into the bathroom or outside for some air and soothe them there? After a certain amount of time in any space, that would get irritating. If this was a plane or somewhere she couldn’t escape from it would be a different story.
Yeah, that stuck out to me too. If it was a full hour there is something else here. Regardless of the reason, you’d think that person would understand they are in a place where being quiet is the normal and have tried to move elsewhere.
Conpletely agree, that was a crazy amount of time. Like if you took a baby to a movie theater and it started crying and wouldn't stop it would be inconsiderate not to leave and be back untill it calmed down.
I thought about that too, I don't now lot about babies, but like, didn't they cry, when they have some problem? Like I'm not that great with them, but I had times looking after some of my friend's/family's , and even I'm able to figure it out in 15-20 mins, lol.
The story about the failing grade is so frustrating. OP says they gave the kid lots of opportunities to do homework or extra credit, and that they had multiple parent/teacher meetings to keep the kid's mom aware. It might have been better for the teacher to just say to the kid, "You had lots of chances to improve your grade through the semester, what happens now is what you chose." But for the kid's mom to claim they didn't "invest more in Levi," that's so annoying and entitled. Especially when a teacher has tried to make the class as simple and low-stress as possible. ALSO as a librarian, the last story irritated me from the policy standpoint. If the library staff talked to the mom multiple times and she still didn't make any attempt to do anything about the baby crying, they can ask her to leave. It's a conduct disruption, unless the mom and baby were in a children's section where there is a reasonable expectation of kid noise. OP shouldn't have approached the mom directly.
+1 to what you said about the failing grade thing. It's hard to know without knowing the people involved, but for the way it's described, not only the kid wasn't making any effort, but he also was surrounded by adults enabling that kind of attitude and behaviour to the point of blaming the teacher for 'failing' the student instead of acknowledging the kid's responsibility over his results. One of the many reasons I could never be a teacher is because I would hatehatehate dealing with parents like those on a regular basis.
@@hozepheena yup. I was considering becoming a teacher a few years ago and I worked in an afternoon care for pre school students. Most parents were nice and understanding, but those few parents who never saw any bad behaviour in their kid were the most annoying people.
Especially true when the teacher has at least 25 other kids to worry about (per class even) ive fallen behind in high school and my teachers always made me aware of it very early on and I'd feel so bad for potentially letting them down when they really were trying their best to teach me
I was coming down here to say this too. Not only does it sound like Levi and his parents have been made aware of his grade and still nothing has changed, but now they're mad he's failing? It sounds like they just want Levi to pass just because. Also this won't (potentially) ruin him graduating. Retake grade 11 chemistry 1st semester of grade 12 and then do the next chem class in the next semester. Also the fact that this teacher is trying her best with this student shows how good of a teacher she is. Especially since she probably has close to 100 students who also need her attention.
@@hozepheena RIGHT?? My petty ass would respond to that e-mail saying “I’m sorry you didn’t invest more time raising up your child and teaching him the importance of responsibility and that there are consequences to your actions.”
The pokemon one is fuckedddd that's so gross. I have memory loss so I need to write down some stuff too, but it's worse when it's frat dudes doing it for sorority girls just knowing how to make yourself attractive to them, like be yourself? Gross. Even if it's not about sex, it's super manipulative, it's fake, creepy. I bet 100% if they were themselves, the girls would likely not be interested, and you're forcing them to be interested by pretending to be interested in what they like and do.
I also have problems with memory, and while I might have to write down a person's name and describe to myself what they look like, it would never go further than that. What really makes this guy worse is that he decided to share it with other guys. You just don't do that, regardless of any circumstances. Also, what happened to following people on social media? Is that not enough of a tracker of public info anymore?
and like its one thing if its just a couple random things from a few people, but specifically with girls, specifically to know what to talk to them on dates about (didnt realize fav color was a hot topic). The guy is either faking being that innocent or is just otherwise socially inept. but the fact that he notes "it wasnt for bad reasons" makes me thing its the former.
Public librarian of 10+ years here- in my experience, most librarians handle noise complaints (patron complaints, period) with as much sensitivity and decorum as we can. That being said, even in public libraries- which have become more like centers for community engagement & resources than ultra-strict, old-school “shushing” environments- there still exists a reasonable expectation for other patrons (and library staff) to not be subjected to sustained yelling, screaming, etc. Kids cry- we get that, and at my library, we’ll even bring over busy bags and educational activities to help distract/calm crying children. If it continues even after gentle intervention, most library staff will suggest some cooldown time outside the library, and that the parent try bringing the child back once they’ve had a chance to calm down. If I had to guess, the apparent harshness from the librarian here wasn’t in reaction to the child crying, but to the parent’s completely inappropriate screaming. Verbal abuse towards anyone- other patrons and library staff- is never OK and is rarely tolerated for the safety of everyone in the library. Just adding some professional perspective- LOVE the podcast/Holo Taco!
yeah at least calm the kid outside. thats what i did as a big sister in all situations i brought my siblings in and it made people feel uncomfortable. and im sorry to say that but i just thought "this would annoy me" and i was 13-18 in those situations. now im 26 and my mind still hasnt changed and i do the same with my niece
31:09 I can confirm it is super creepy! I was unfortunately a victim of harassment in middle school and it got to a point where a ton of strangers knew details about me. Kids I had never met in my life would walk up to me and tell me my full name, my extracurricular activities and where and when I did them, etc., etc. It was actually terrifying. To be honest, my fear that I'm being followed, or that someone is listening to my conversations, remains. At the time I even had an irrational fear that people could hear my thoughts, and it was seriously debilitating.
I would have had a 94% in my first year French course had I remembered about this one assignment 10 minutes earlier… it was pain. Still got an 89%, but ugh, frustrated by myself sometimes.
Same, I've graduated from university already but still have dreams where I can't graduate because I somehow forgot about a class for the whole semester.
If you don't want to be friends with Katie why fake it for three years? They should have made it clear freshmen year so she could have found new friends when everyone is making new friends. Now they've waited so long its going to be even more hurtful.
I think the girl who blames her roommate for failing her class is just angry she failed and doesn’t wanna accept it was her own fault so she blamed the roommate. In reality, it’s not anyone else’s job to make sure you’re passing school. Like, bbg, you’re in college, put on your big girl panties and be an adult. No one else is responsible for you. If you knew you had an important exam the next day set multiple alarms.
THIS!!! I don’t get why any adult would expect a peer to parent them. Even if they were friends, waking up in time for any important event is your responsibility. If you asked them to please wake you up, maybe I would think differently.
but if the med student was doing an exam she couldn't just get up and move to a different computer, the progress might be lost or the link only works once. at least that would be the case normally for an online exam. ideally the student would have headphones with them, but it also is unreasonable that the child was crying for an hour in a library and the mother didn't do anything about it, like taking it outside or to a bathroom or smth
The baby one I completely agree with reddit, the op was not an asswhole at all. And my opinion is based on the op saying the mom didn't try to soothe the baby. The point Cristine made about the mom maybe not having another option to leave the baby and study was super valid but I always assume that a library is a place people are quiet unless told otherwise. A baby crying it's normal but the mom can attend to the and try and soothe them, as per the op's description the mom didn't even try and I think for that they were right to get the mom out of there bc she clearly didn't care for anyone else's experience in that public place where you expect quietness most of the time.
I have always been the "Katie" and it's really hard. Now that I'm older, I can tell when people don't like me, but when I was younger, I never could tell and would cling to whoever would keep me around. I realize now I'm not the problem, that it is just one of those things where certain people just don't click with certain people. Just be upfront! Tell Katie. It will cause less pain imo.
Yo same. You on the spectrum too by any chance? I found all her traits so painfully reminiscent of my younger self. Just trynna... make fren. Follow people, try to engage, make them awkward, not pick up on cues whatsoever.
I haven't been the Katie personally, but the idea of this girl thinking these people were her friends and after *3 years* be told they don't like her, that they've never had. It breaks my heart, I can't fathom how painful that would be, if I even imagine my friends telling me something like that it would break my heart. I feel so bad for Katie. And I know these people are not trying to be mean, but waiting 3 years to tell someone you don't click with them, those are 3 years of friendship that have become a lie to Katie. They even said Katie doesn't have other friends, It's way kinder to tell Katie right at the start if something bothers you so they can decide if its something in their behavior that needs to change or just find new friends; after 3 years at college a lot of friend groups are pretty much consolidated and it's much harder for a new person to join the dynamic. I hope Katie finds the right group of people for her.
no you being you is not the issue but you also lack of social intelligence. depending of the culture and the education it can be hard to tell people off especially for some people. in france you would have been excluded more openly i assume.
In my early 30's and I have dreams of where I'm late for class and my locker won't open and when it does all my books are gone. Dreams like that are never going to end.
That roommate getting mad at her bc she didn't wake up for her exam set me off! I would have told her, "I'm not your mother, you're a grown woman, you are responsible for yourself!" It's literall projection of her own failure.
Agreed! Also... They didn't ask to be checked on. What we usually do is tell each other. Please if I'm not awake at 7am please knock on my door. Otherwise everyone does their own thing. At the end of the day you are an adult... You may need to kinda find what works for you
It's like they thought real life is like a dating sim where you have info on people so you don't get confused about the stats of all the girls you are juggling. and to make it available to like 40 people as well? disgusting.
For the story regarding the crying baby in the library, I was always told you need to keep the noise down to a minimum or in very low voice. You never walk into a library and yell across the floor or people talk at regular decibel like at at a restaurant where the noise level will remain high because so many conversations are going on and trying to be heard over others. Even if there with a study group you keep your voices lower as to not disturb the people at the next table. Or would it be ok to have a full fledged phone conversation at the library. I would think you’d walk outside or over to another area. So the same should be said of the baby. And as reference I’m a parent and would feel mortified that everyone could here my baby crying it’s head off, regardless of location, I’d exclude myself and go somewhere else until they calm down. It’s about being courteous to others around you. However, I think she got herself kicked out for starting an argument and calling that other person a name.
I think Ben's point about the possibility that the lady didn't have any other option is worth considering. I mean, take the most extreme case: if she didn't have a home / safe place to go. Many smaller towns don't have many public spaces besides libraries where you could go to warm up during winter or cool down during summer. Of course, hopefully as a society we focus on providing more emergency shelters and crisis centers etc, but the reality is that if it were freezing cold outside and she had no where to go, I can see why she would stay in the library even with a crying baby. Who knows, maybe she needed the public computer to apply to jobs or search the internet for other places to go. The fact that she snapped might show that she's under a ton of stress
@@13cathie emergency shelters still make you leave for the daytime, to save money on staffing. They kick you out right after breakfast and chores and you aren't allowed back inside until dinner prep time, no matter the weather, in most cities. I can definitely picture a newly homeless mother, without resources, sitting there in a daze not having the option of fixing whatever is causing her baby to cry (no money for diapers, too physically exhausted to walk/rock, doesn't know where to go for help yet, etc) and while obviously we have no way to know whether that's true, it definitely would have been my first guess as to what's going on. I really hope that the librarian acted that way because they had already checked and that wasn't the case, because it would be tragic if they were kicking her out into the weather without considering that possibility and offering the help that most librarians are happy to provide (info on where to get resources for babies, places to go that are safe, or even just a few kind words that will give her the strength to come back into herself and take care of herself and her baby)
But in the end, it’s about removing yourself from the common area, closer to the door, bathroom, entry hallway, etc until you can calm the baby down. So not to disturb everyone.
@Brenda B and when you're homeless living in a shelter, your legs are exhausted from walking everywhere, possibly upwards of an hour just to get to your nearest public library, so going to go stand elsewhere for hours isn't always an option. Also, not all libraries have a place that is away from the "common area" in which customers are allowed to go. You can't just sit in the bathroom with your baby for the 6-8 hours the shelter kicks you out for. Humans aren't even built to sit on a toilet for longer than a few minutes, let alone hours, they're too narrow, and people need them to actually, you know, use the toilet? Not just sit in an isolation room with their baby?
I think kicking the mom out wasn’t an asshole thing. Library are places for people to study and read. Where I live, there may be some part of the library where you can make some noise, but most of it is silent by default. I wouldn’t be mad at a parent struggling with their fusy baby. I’m ultra sensible to noise, but I couldn’t put the blame on them. Sometime, a baby won’t stop crying. But it seemed that the mom didn’t gave any attention to their child and didn’t take any action. She could have taken the child with her outside a little bit to calm down the child without disturbing other people.
The poll is up on the community page! Thank you everyone who reminded me ua-cam.com/users/simplypodlogicalcommunity
When women make an index of guys at their university, it's usually one to warn each other about predators. That one of the guy creating a "pokedex" was NOT doing for that reason.
Do they really not realize how dangerous it is? How it would make it that much easier for an abuser to manipulate.
Tell me that you see women as objects without telling me that you see women as objects… the pokedex thing is so depressing and dehumanizing
Even the reason they gave is awful. Imagine trying to over ride the filters a woman might have around her space by faking an interest in her you don't (can't) really have.
@@Aisha_Luv Right? OP might not use it for bad, but one bad guy in the group he's sharing this list of women with can use it to stalk women
the only good thing about this list was we weren't compared to objects this time, so I guess that's like .5% better than usual. But seriously, who does that? Creepy af and manipulative.
Here's how you find out all that information you can get on the spreadsheet. TALK TO HER.
The one with the young sibling strikes a theory in me:
The sister keeps bringing her college plans up because no one will celebrate with her. The family is sick of hearing about it and withholds communication or approval which makes her fight harder for approval and annoys them further. That why even though what he said wasn't that bad, the intent to shut her up was heartless and she was super upset. I hope she had friends to celebrate with. I bet she'll love being away from home.
This exactly!! And honestly on the families side, even if you ARE annoyed about your daughter being proud of her achievement, she'll be on campus the next semester. At least fake your investment until then. There was no need for the brother to be so cruel and for the mother to endorse it.
And even if she was being annoying, I understand the response from the brother, but the parents… OUCH
I thought the same because something similar happened to me. When my brother got in college, everyone celebrated him, like I remember my mom screaming in joy and jumping hugging him because of how proud she was. Everyone would talk about it, and I remember being slightly jealous of him, but I never did anything bad. Although years later, affected me more, because when I got in college, nobody celebrated me, heck, took my mom years to even know what I was studying, and whenever she would talk about it to other people she would roll her eyes when saying it
@@kili_liniani_3768 I’m so sorry you went through that, sending you a hug through the screen. 🥰
I just want to appreciate how cristine wears clothes that match the theme of the podcast/stream. It's so cute haha.
thank u for noticing😂
The attention to detail 👌🏽
Detail oriented to the max hahah 🥰🥰
Yes, and the twitch/ UA-cam one Ben was in on it too! ❤️💜
for the “pokédex” one, even if the guy who initially made it doesn’t use it for “nefarious reasons”, it’s still weird, first of all, but it’s also extremely naive to assume it’s not being used in ulterior ways ESPECIALLY when its shared between around 40 FRAT guys
And even if it wasn't about sex, they still treat women like they are pieces of a game and not real people.
@@elsaamanda5999 this is the exact thing that I was thinking it’s gross.
Yup. But it’s hard to believe it wasn’t started for nefarious reasons tbh.
The only way it would be OK was if they were saying so and so is this Pokémon or that. But that was not the case lol. Frats are weird.
@@pineapplepapercrafts yea and if they included literally everyone men and women with their consent not this creepy shit
Damn, the "Katie" question hit hard because I was a Katie multiple times in middle and high school.
I always felt left out and never had a group of friends I knew would welcome me to sit with them at lunch. I would try to make friends, but I could always tell these groups were just being polite out of pity. I would've left them alone but I didn't have any other friends I could go to instead. I thought maybe I could show them more of my personality and somehow win them over in time, but it never happened. Eventually, the group I was trying to be part of would go out of their way somehow to segregate themselves from me (changing lunch periods, always gathering at the house of the friend who lived far away from me, ect.)
I was suffering from severe OCD and depression at the time, so in hindsight I can understand why people didn't want me around. But still, thinking about those times hurts.
Same! I think I also was a Katie
I am sending love to anyone who has ever felt actively excluded at any age. 🥰
I was also a Katie in middle school, floating around & never having a real group of friends that actually liked having me around. I’ve seen a few people comment that they were the Katie at their school…I wish we all had each other to be friends with growing up 😂❤
Anyone relating to Katie in that story might be autistic. It’s certainly very similar to what a lot of autistic people experience, myself included. My only tip is to find other autistic people to socialize with, since you’ll likely have similar socialization styles.
Which story is the Katie one? I feel like I'm missing something
The issue with Katie's story here imo is that they waited three years. They're implying that they were vague about their wants for three years, and could clearly tell she wasn't getting the message, and now want to tell her it's not working. It's going to be heartbreaking for her. Yes confrontation is scary, but realising you've been unwanted by people you thought were your friends for three years is mortifying. They could have saved her a lot of pain by being honest a long time ago.
If they already put up with it for 3 years they can put up with it for one more year haha. You don’t have to stay friends after college. One of them needs to talk to her one on one and offer to get her help to talk about her issues-like getting her an appointment with a guidance councillor. Explain to her that those topics are too heavy for dinner/hanging out casually with friends
I know i might be reading too much or projecting but Katie sounds Autistic(? Someone who cant read social cues and probably has some weird interests she can't stop talking about, so yeah, they should have deffinetly told her directly and sooner
I agree you have to be upfront about those sorts of things
I went back to the first post and turns out the sister got into McGill, which is a great school even outside of Canada, the brother is probably just immature and jealous but the parents are insane for thinking their daughter is annoying for mentioning she got into McGill
Truly! McGill is really well known in the States for being a great school. it sounds like these parents are attributing completely wrong intentions to a child who just wants them to share her excitement and pride. How mean! You are her parents, you SHOULD be proud of your daughter's achievement. I hope she finds some friends at McGill that can give her the excitement and support she probably desperately needs.
Yeah McGill is a great school!! I thought about going there for grad school
Plot twist? Katie is just a sociology and psychology student conducting a social experiment to see how long it takes for someone to tell a stranger to leave their friend group??
hmmm. the ethics tho?!?
She's incredibly dedicated to her craft
Katie has learned more about the human condition than Freud
I’m an autistic adult and I was often Katie in life. I’ve grown and do have friends now but often times, those “cues” don’t get through to autistic people. You have to be explicit with boundaries. It may feel harsh but it can be done in a way that isn’t mean. It’s appreciated because it cues us into what you are saying nonverbally.
To answer Simply's question about open book exams nowadays, I had electronic open note exams in uni and we were allowed to upload 1 pdf file of our notes to our school website and during the exam download that pdf onto a school computer for reference. Basically I could Ctrl+F my way through a 300 page pdf during the exam. However it was an analysis course so the exam was about problem solving rather than memorization so having access to the information didnt mean that we didnt study.
Blaming the teacher for failing a class is just plain cruel unless a large percentage of your peers are also failing due to poor teaching. I had to retake organic chemistry but I’d never blame the professor for my poor grade.
Yes exactly. I’ll take responsibility if I’m not doing my work but once in high school I had the worst ap chem teacher. They couldn’t find someone to fill the role bc the previous ap chem teacher (who also taught me chemistry honors before I took ap chem) went onto a research firm job instead of teaching. They put a random biology teacher in the role of ap chem teacher and she could NOT teach that class at ALL. Literally one time, we all got like 50 on a quiz. Our class was only 11 students lol, so we all studied together and were CONFIDENT on our answers. We looked into it and the teacher had graded the assignment wrong!!!! She graded answers that were correct as wrong. We took it to admin and they started sitting in on her class and making her follow more AP teaching styles bc she was just WINGING it the whole time. We all ended up failing the AP exam and most of us all ended with a B or C. Literally the worst class I ever had to take. She could not teach that class and she wasted a LOT of time. She soent like two whole months going over honors chem work when we should have only focused on that for two weeks before moving onto the AP material. It was such a mess.
@@kianna270 Geez that sounds like a nightmare! I had a horrible World History teacher in high school so I share your pain.
Very true. Or if they’re clearly teaching poorly. I had a geometry teacher who told us our test would be on a certain thing, so I went home and studied for hours. Math was the only class I struggled with and it gave me anxiety even going into her classroom. Then we start the test and it was on *nothing* we studied. She said we should have been prepared anyway. I’ll never forget that shit lol
Who else is kind of happy for Cristine and Ben that they've relaxed enough now to not filter their language? So many "fuck bombs" and honestly, I'm here for that fucking energy. 😂
I do like some light swearing. Not to where it is every sentence or hateful, just helps you express yourself in a way non swear words cant
I am, it feels like a very natural conversation
i knew someone who had the whole “slept through exam and failed their exam” thing
the difference though, which absolutely warranted an asshole verdict was that the roommate turned the other person’s alarm off. i heard this story secondhand from the jilted party perspective but from the information ive been given is that person A was sleeping through an alarm clock that was still in the process of going off and person B turned their alarm off without attempting to wake them up and then left…
Damn that’s an absolute asshole move
Oh no that would piss me the hell off
I don't know, the one about the library was weird. If I saw a child cry for about an HOUR with a mother doing absolutely nothing to fix it I would immediately assume it's one of those entitled Karens.
It also just sounds like she didn't care about her kid at all.
My thoughts exactly!! 🙌🙌
As a common courtesy thing she should have stepped out of the library to soothe the baby for the sake of everyone else. In defence of the mum just a bit tho, the baby continuing to cry doesn’t necessarily mean she was at no point trying. If the baby was sick, teething, the comfort toy had been lost, etc, it could be something out of the control of the mum.
Yeah, im on the op's side for the most part on that one. Not being able to take a test in a quite place like they wanted (i'm assuming this was probably durring covid given the restrictions), and having adhd while trying to take a test, I can only imagine a baby crying for 1-1.5 hours can be incredibly distracting. And some babies have quite a set of lungs on them. Some people are also more sensitive to noises then others. I think though there may have been something going on with the mother given the reaction, and I think perhaps op could have handled it a tad better but the librarians should have already said something to the mome if it had been going on that long.
Really? The reaction doesn't sound like a Karen, it sounds like a mother who is having trouble being an actual mother. Like the breaking down immediately and not even trying to sooth her child, to me it sounded like that mother could in some serious post-partum trouble/depression. I mean it shouldn't be the librarians job to triage this kind of situation and they have a good reason to kick her out for consistent conduct violations. I just wanted to mention that it might not be her being an uncaring privileged Karen but someone who is some serious mental crisis which is why she's acting really really strange for someone with a baby
@@charliev4156
Mostly agree, but even if it wasn’t in the mother’s control, other patrons shouldn’t be subjected to a baby crying especially if in a place that is expected to be quiet. What gets me is that this should’ve been addressed by the staff, not OP.
Hey! Just to weigh in on the Katie story, I think it's also important to not shelter a person from the nature of reality because of their past experiences or mental health. Of course I think it is important to be compassionate and approach the situation from a place of kindness! But to allow the behavior to continue despite the discomfort of the friend group isn't really doing Katie any favors for future situations where she may be met with rejection. 💜
Me, a Katie… also a 20 year old university junior with few friends and severe social anxiety… the Katie story is exactly what I think others think and that’s why I don’t really make friends…
Once I let someone look at part of my homework at university, the teacher figured out that the other person's answer was similar and we both got half a grade, that's how I learned to keep my stuff to myself.
After graduation I was tutoring some students and one of them wanted to pay me to write her essays and I terminated the tutoring. I was fine guiding her to write but her idea of writing was to paraphrase a whole Wikipedia entry and I didn't want to work with someone who is willing to cheat so blatantly.
I almost got in trouble for plagiarism in college. I was an environmental science major and we were put it groups to develop a lab report together. I thought since we were in a group, we’d be responsible for writing a portion of the report and then putting it all together for the final document. Well. I did not find out until turning it in that that was not the case. My prof was ready to fail us all for plagiarism. I said please do not fail everyone, just fail me. I was the only one that didn’t ‘reword’ their report to after reviewing the other group members portion. I still stand by this that it’s total bullshit. I’ve been in the work force for almost 10 years and that’s not how shit gets done
When I was in high school, I was top of my class and a very well rounded and responsible student. Despite this, my parents told me I wouldn't be able to "make it on my own" and told me I couldn't go to a four year university and would have to stay at our community college (disclaimer: I have NO issues with community college. It's just my college did not have the degree path I desired, and it would have set me back two whole years on my professional progress since the degree I wanted to pursue was fully loaded each year). So, I worked my butt off to get into my state's four year university and get a scholarship for it. When I got my acceptance letter to the college, I told my friends because I was super excited. One of my friends said "yeah, they let anyone with a pulse into that school" and basically made me feel like crap for an accomplishment that literally meant me having freedom and control over my own education. There is NO reason to make someone feel bad for being excited to get into college/university/trade school. If someone is making a decision for their life that they are excited about, that should be uplifted and celebrated!
A lot of my classes had open note exams bc it wasn’t about regurgitating facts but more about creating an argument using facts e.g. in a history class we could use our notes to create a compare/contrast paragraph for for short answer questions etc.
The screaming baby discussion took me back to when my children were younger and we didn't have a car, and a lot of times when I got on the bus with three little ones to go into the city to visit my parents, the youngest, still a baby, would be really tired and start crying. I always felt really bad for the other people on the bus and wanted to tell them "she'll fall asleep as soon as the bus starts moving" which nearly always happened. They cry the most when they're about to fall asleep. Sigh. I'm sorry for the student in the library and sorry a solution wasn't found to accomodate both parties in that case.
26:00 we had an open-book exam during covid times that we took at home via zoom. everyone had to "promise" to just look at skripts and other course work because they couldnt really check if we'd use google or something🤣
As someone with adhd, I did almost have a panic attack when a baby was crying on the plane while i was going on my honeymoon, i didn’t say anything i just got drunk off mini plane drinks🤷🏻♀️ As someone who is a mom now even with my youngest being 7, my boobs still hurt when a baby cries. If my baby was crying, just like at a wedding or anywhere in public but like the grocery store line, i’d leave with my child. I love books, pop a boob in the babies mouth and read your book, i breast fed for like 4 years straight because my kids were only 22 months apart so best believe it’s not hard to read and breastfeed or nurse for comfort. But this woman is trying to take an exam and that more important than annoying everyone being disturbed by your screaming child. Check the books out and go home. walk around and bounce the baby. I’m that stranger that will offer to help a struggling mother, I wear all black the majority of the time and wear a lot of makeup but imma little plump and feel that i look like a nice mom so I always offer to help. Not the asshole. Your baby and you don’t own any space. In my experience boobies always work and breastfeeding isn’t going to bug people who are minding their own business.
Also I'm fairly certain it's actually most American schools go to school in august, whereas most European countries go the first week of September. I've seen way more american high schoolers starting school in august
Here in Canada yeah we don't start til September but yes I she American friends who started a few weeks ago
I think AUS/NZ go from Jan-Oct. So many differences:)
I feel like most European schools starts in August but I’m not exactly that well read on the matter, we tend to start school in August in most Scandinavian countries
@@yourlittlevenicebtch4258 It's the other way around. Only Scandinavians and Scotland start school in August, rest of the Europe either starts on September 1st or within the first half of September.
France starts in September yep!
I'm 34 and wanted to go back to college. I was informed that I HAVE ONE OUTSTANDING HIGHSCHOOL MATH CREDIT that I need to complete before continuing. Are you kidding me???
I actually graduated HS and completed 10 years of college. I have no idea what I'm supposed to do. My highschool literally doesn't exist anymore.
@@Nikole_Raven I'm sorry but what the fuck????
Contact your state education board! Talk to them about the situation. I had one credit waived because they couldn’t tell if it was a clerical error or not. Lol.
Having had experience in recruiting there is massive amounts of discrimination when it comes to hiring from brand name schools and non-brand name schools. Ivy League and prestigious uni education carries a lot of weight (which I think is unfair) even for candidates that might be under qualified. Basically to most corporations brand name of school and masters matters more than anything else in education (in my experience)
I used to teach intro classes in college. I let my students bring a note card in to help on exams and gave a couple bonus points for handing over their cards. The act of making the card was forcing the students to study and prioritize what to include and also made the act of cheating pointless since they were allowed to bring in notes. One of the best decisions I ever made as a prof.
I am a teacher at a mostly lower-income vocational high school who teaches German, primarily in the mechanics and carpentry section. I can tell you that in a lot of cases, my students' grades do not reflect their understanding of a subject or overall abilities but rather their living conditions. Unfortunately, a lot of my teenagers deal with family situations that are not ideal: 1) Their parents do not really see the importance of going to school and have their kids work when they are not at school (sometimes even during school); 2) Some teenagers come from broken homes, so noone helps or supports them in their school career; 3) Some of my students are very poor, which means sharing a room with siblings, so they don't have a quiet corner to themselves to do homework or study, or the family doesn't own a computer; 4) Some of them struggle with self-esteem issues and do not believe themselves to be capable of anything, which seems to be more pronounced in teenagers with unstable homes; 5) They have difficulties asking for or accepting help because they learned to be self-dependent, so relying on me doesn't come naturally to them and finally, 6) they might have bigger problems than failing a class, often related to mental heath, financial struggles or family issues.
To be fair, I'm not saying that no student is to blame for failing a class because some of them have everything they need to succeed and yet they don't care enough to try. But I would like to highlight that depending on the student's profile, grades are by no means an accurate indication for their abilities.
My profs used open book exams to prove the importance of note taking. No electronics or actual textbooks, just your notes in a notebook or printed out if you did them electronically. I loved them and would actually charge for copies of my notes if someone was scrambling.
Those dreams still haunt me too 😂
It's either I forget to go to class (or all of them), I forget to take a final, or I can't find the classroom or even the building. One dream was that I was back in high school having to take a math test I somehow never took. In the dream I suddenly thought "what are they going to do? Take my master's degree away?" and I got up and walked out.
My university was on the quarter system, which I actually liked. I did drop three courses because of the structure of the course but they were all electives in other random departments, nothing in my major. I detest lots of busy work, especially when it's a course that's not in my field.
Cristine saying to just go see a doctor. Shall we discuss how the U.S. healthcare works or rather doesn't? Granted I have no clue where that OP was located. It's just the sad reality I live in over here.
I agree with Cristine on school feeling so distant. I enjoyed university and sometimes truly feel nostalgic about research papers.
In university I couldn't do a final for a ceramics course because of an injury and the professor let me take the course again and present my final project in that course plus did some more advanced projects. I retook math in high school during summer school because the teachers they had in the summer were actually better than the ones during the school year.
cristine saying "I dont have nightmares today about not finishing an exam because its 10 years ago" was a personal attack as someone who is 28 and has this dream and the "can't remember her locker combo" nightly
Referring to the topic that started at 48:00 : I had a class in my psych undergrad that was mandatory and the grade was 100% reliant on one research paper (plus a presentation of the paper at the end of the course). We got to complete 3 drafts of the paper to be reviewed by our prof, but it was soooo stressful knowing that everything came down to one paper!!!!!
As someone who used to sell their homework and journals in college always take payment first people
For the one about the crying baby, I do think OP could have handled it better but I also think the mother was unreasonable in the situation as well. I completely understand that she didn't WANT to be the mom with the annoying crying baby but it sounds like she didn't do much to prevent the issue. She could have taken the baby somewhere else until they had stopped crying or come back another time. It's also understandable that she may not have had anyone to watch the baby or she really needed the time in the library, however it's extremely rude and inconsiderate to bring an unpredictably tempered baby into a LIBRARY where it is supposed to be quiet so other people can study. If OP was annoyed by it I'm sure other people in the library were as well. There are other places she could have gone to study that didn't force other people to listen to her crying child. I don't think OP was a complete asshole for confronting her, though I do think they could have been a bit nicer about it.
The story about the roommate missing the exam. Always ask yourself what you would prefer them to do.
I'm 34 and I still have dreams/nightmares about high school (but not college or grad school). It's mostly about getting lost in the school, forgetting my locker combination, or not going to a class for the whole year and wondering if I can still graduate...
I can never get that dang locker open in my dreams!
I'm going to have to say NTA on the last story...the women with the baby is TA. Sure she might be there for reasons and she might have to take her baby with her, i get that...i can sympathize with that. It's a library...from my experience in libraries...its quiet unless said otherwise. To have a baby constantly crying and for the mother to let that go on is a major butthole move. People go to the library hoping for it to be a quiet space...and OP went there for a timed exam so she couldn't exactly move to another space.
The mother could have done something and maybe she was...but from the info we received from OP it sounded like the mother did nothing and thats my impression too. The baby cried for a FULL HOUR and it didn't stop 👀👀👀, come on ugh.
Sure some babies cry and are just impossible to soothe...but idkkkk an hour of crying in a public space? Eeeeee butthole move.
If they were both on a plane or in some place where the mother ABSOLUTELY could not leave the space...fine...thats completely fine.
Is OP the asshole for getting the mother kicked out...no...are they the asshole for confronting her....yessss...but also no. It's a gray area honestly.
As someone who has a loud sneeze, I literally can't control how loud it is. I still cover my nose so the snot doesn't fly, but my sneezes are still loud. Most of the time it just comes with no warning or tickle in the nose.
I also am like this. I try so hard to cover and muffle my sneeze. But it is so loud it echos though the house and scares people/animals. I’m always apologizing to everyone for the noise, I’m so embarrassed by it, but nothing helps. I sneeze so hard it is painful, and makes my brain feel like my brain had its reset button pushed.
My father-in-law has a very loud and sudden sneeze. We all think it's funny. Don't be embarrassed lol
Like Cristine, I preferred multiple assignments that make up your grade and not one big exam that everything rides on. I had four such big final exams in both my major and minor programs that you could not fail twice, lest you be banned from studying that particular program ever again. Like, banned for live at any university in the country.
For most courses, we luckily had multiple that assignments, most often a big individual presentation (which is better than group presentation), an essay and small final thesis. But I had one course where the professor kept exact score of how often each student said something in class, this would increase your participation points for your grade, but it was purely a quantitative system and the quality didn’t really matter, so in my opinion, it was really an immature scoring-system more befitting middle-school than uni. And it discriminated against shy students. Luckily, it was just this one professor that focused on participation like this, so I avoided taking any other of his courses.
Poll! I'm a 35y/o returning to school to finish my degree :)
Good luck!
My high school grading system is tough- it’s 30% practice, 70% assessment. Then you take that, make it 20% of your semester grade, and have the final be 80%. If you aren’t a good test taker, don’t prepare well, or don’t remember something important from like the third week of school that’s a big aspect on the final, it’s so easy to do terribly in a class.
51:41 as a member of a family of loud sneezers, I actually have developed the skill of stifling my sneezes; however, it works on a "charge-based" system. I can control the loudness or even the type of sound I emit, but it's as if the variance of sneezes will only pick away at the need to sneeze. If I sneeze incredibly loudly, it's one and done. However, if I do quiet sneezes, I'll have to repeatedly sneeze (up to 15 times) in order to satisfy that itchy sneezing sensation. I find that the latter is actually much more annoying, because people get tired of having to say "bless you" after the fourth time. If it's appropriate, I'll also make different sneezing noises, like a soft one, then a sharp one, then one that sounds like a cough for comical purposes. Also, the "tongue on the roof of your mouth" trick does indeed work, but it doesn't entirely remove the need to sneeze, so I can't always rely on it. I just believe the structure of my nose collects dust easier, since having wind or a fan on causes me to sneeze pretty easily. Therefore, I believe there are some people who aren't being assholes regarding the audibility of their sneeze, but rather are just genetically inclined to sneeze louder.
It’s different if you’ve been on a date with someone and got to know them THEN take note of something they liked (color, snack, etc.) on a notes app later when you get home bc you simply just forget things and you want to genuinely continue dating. But leave it at that otherwise having a Pokédex with girls information is just plain sh*tty and sc*mbaggy lol
wow, I've lived in a similar arrangement (single room and two beds) with another girl who was a lot older than me and we also were not close, simply bc we lived very different lives (I was in school and she was working a full-time) and a 10 year age gap and as someone who's a pretty heavy sleeper I still have trouble waking up with an alarm(s) or even having close friends/family call me to wake me up but if I had an important commitment I would ask my roommate the previous night to wake me up and she complied. NTA especially if you're not friends. Even if she forgot to wake me up, I wouldn't blame her for making me fail my class, that's just bizarre
I agree 100% with Ben's sneeze take.
I can't remember the last time I dreamed about school. (I'm 43.) However, I DO still dream about my time working at Burger King (early 20s), I worked off and on there for about 3 years, and even now I sometimes dream that I'm still working there but forgot somehow and haven't showed up to work in months and I start panicking. Basically the same kind of dream people have about school, but Burger King instead. Then I wake up like, "Oh thank god, I haven't worked there in 20 years!" Why though! I was never late to work, I was pretty punctual and reliable.
Not everyone is back to school, in Poland you go back to uni in october.
48:13 this whole conversation is insane to me because i’m a UK student and almost every class i’ve ever taken has been 100% exam based. I would have 2-3 exams and each mark would come together to form the grade. The only subject that wasn’t solely exam based was 33% coursework and 66% exam based. Any external option, like what crisitine mentioned where a bunch of smaller assignments form the grade, would have been so much better for my learning style
Ben, I am 36 and I still have nightmares about not preparing for a school exam or not being able to find my class etc. So you're not alone 😂
The pokédex one made me feel kinda anxious bc I do something similar but for a different motivation. I don’t share it with anyone at all; I have just small facts for my friends. I do have a bad memory and idk maybe this just one of the things my brain likes to do bc I’m neurodivergent. The facts I have are like my friends addresses, phone #s, bdays, allergies, fav colors, fav candy, fav food, and things they like. This is mostly bc I like spoiling my friends by getting them smalls gifts sometimes and also for bday/holiday gifts. I do have an iPhone so the notes are just in ppls contacts and also in a little notebook. Idk if ppl still find this weird since I don’t share any of the info.
That’s nice you spoil that
Right away at 1:50 I actually had an uncle(more of an honorary uncle but he's still my uncle in my eyes) who this very thing happened to. He was sappose to go back to the college he graduated to give a speech and they found out that there was some sort of issue in actually getting the certificate so he technically only graduated less than a year ago. I had so many nightmares about being pulled back to highschool cuz they missed a gym credit or something after that lol
My husband is sneezing so loud it actually scares me many times! I also think that he could at least try to do it more quietly (i think he sneeze like not through nose but through mouth, so it comes with a shout. Im not sure if i explained it well). He refuse to go to doctor to check if everything is fine with his nose (he also make different noises regarding his nose). Soon his brother, who lives at ground floor of the same house, will have a baby. I worned my husband, that he will scare the baby for sure and possibly wake her up many times with those loud sneezes but he still act oblivious :/
The Pokedéx one is basically a serial killer origin story
I'm 40 and still have school dreams. I missed a class the entire year and can't graduate without it .
Eew. The Pokédex one is SO fratty.
OK, as a loud sneezer... It's actually really hard and painful to suppress sneezes. I've tried. The reason they're loud to begin with is that there's a lot of power behind them. It feels like needles are shooting into my throat and head. I've researched this and it can actually rupture blood vessels (to the point of brain injury), which I don't find hard to believe, given the headaches I've gotten from trying to suppress sneezes. Believe me, it's much more embarrassing, painful, and annoying for the person sneezing than people around them...
35 here, only did one year of uni so I'm even further from school than Ben and def still get anxiety dreams where I can't find my class or I'm panicking about an assignment etc
My university is so incompetent and unable to function in bare minimums, i wouldn’t be surprised if they did tell us to come back to take a class or two because they messed up.
One of my favorite memories of school is when, right before a test, the teacher said she will walk around and check our Latin dictionaries before we started. Instant panic in everyone's eyes, pages being stealthily ripped off, crumpled up and thrown into backpacks, then pretending everything is normal when the teacher arrives to the desk😂😂😂
The open textbook test discussion reminds me of the worst exam I ever had. It was a programming class and the teacher insisted that the best way to show you could code was to write code ON PAPER. If you don't know when you write code on a computer you have a lot of tools available for proper formatting and moat importantly you can actually test if it works, so writing on paper is totally different and not applicable to any real life situation.
As a new college freshmen, I would love to see you guys do one about roommates or college in general
Actually had the graduation revoking due to a clerical error. Went back a few years later to get some papers and they said I never graduated because I never finished my volunteer hours. I went over them and walked my graduation though lol. Took about a week for them to sort things out
The “Katie” one is horrible IMO. If she asks questions that make you uncomfortable, tell her that question makes you uncomfortable. Some people don’t pick up on social cues unless they are clearly stated. Just tell her when she’s making you uncomfortable instead of deciding as a group not
to like her. Intentionally, repeatedly ditching someone at the age of 20 is abhorrent in my opinion.
My husband failed a grade in high school and he wanted to graduate with his friends so he took extra classes his last year and buckled down and passed everything
I am ultimately glad that I got my degree and am in the position I'm in with my career. However, my school program sucked. I studied architecture, and the school of architecture pretty much ignored University standards for class loads, grade thresholds, etc. Classes would often have double the class time and triple the homework per credit than University standards. I took a 4 credit class and was told I should treat it like a 40 HR/week full time job. For ONE class. The University also had a policy that attendance couldn't be mandated/taken as part of a grade (participation could be for seminars, but professors were required to provide make-up work opportunities for students if they missed class). We not only had mandated attendance, but were given quizzes at the beginning of each class that were incredibly difficult and worth a significant part of our grade, with no make up opportunities if you were out. We also had to maintain a B+ average to stay in the program, and all of the classes were difficult. Students routinely skipped meals, didn't sleep for days, and sacrificed social lives, volunteer opportunities, and struggled even more if they had to work while in school. It was literally a living hell, and being 3 years post grad now, I get more and more angry about how my degree did a lot of that to us without good reason. I don't even think it prepared me for my field of work, because its an unsustainable way to life and I've had to unlearn a lot of it.
25:49 so with the whole open book conversation of control F. I mean as a current university student who is doing uni during covid times all my exams have been online and most are open book but when they say open book many of them include your electronic text books the lecture slides and sometimes even the internet. So it really was just control F to find any of the information you needed
And that is why most of my exams were applying the knowledge rather than just reciting facts
Sounds like they should recommend her going to counseling. But I mean for 3 years she thinks they’re all her friends, that’s going to be devastating and confusing no matter how they tell her
About the story of Katie, had a similar experience when I was 20 in college. I'm a female, had a friend group of some girls and mostly guys, and we were the board of a school club. Of course for club all are welcome and treat everyone at the very least on a kind professional basis, open to new friendships if it naturally worked out but nbd if not. There was one new guy that made us very uncomfortable outside of club; like when friended on facebook he started posting porn to my friend's wall. Once he basically followed us from dinner to my apartment and when over at a point was in my room and had a really creepy reaction like 'wow, a girl's room', like it was hella creepy, never invited him back and wished he would forget where I live. To try and make a long story short, word reached our club advisor that as a club we were discriminating against the kid, but after meeting and explaining the situation the prof agreed that we're doing the right thing by being cordial and professional in club, but outside of club we can take off our hats and be normal people, and no one is obligated to be friends with anyone. We were never mean to this kid, we just wanted him to not be around us. Eventually if he started finding us at dinner we would split and say we were all busy and go home, then meet up again about 15 mins later, that basically solved the issue. Side story, after I graduated this guy ended up living in an apt with some people I knew and (I guess the door didn't have a lock) he cracked open the bedroom door to watch them have sex. >_
"My class is based on homework." "This kid with ADHD is failing." No shit lol.
47:30 I never dropped out of a class for that reason but I had a psychology class (was my major at the time but I dropped out of college) where the teacher was so strict. Like lock the door if you're late, no speaking during the class except for like the designated times..just really classically strict and honestly that really worked for me. I loved her class I loved her teaching but so many people hated it and I think by the end half the class was left. It ended up being the perfect class for me bc I have adhd and weirdly a strict and structured class helps keep me focused but only if I like the subject. Otherwise I need a slightly more lenient environment for me to focus.
Test taker in the library is not the asshole. Expecting quiet in a library is not abnormal. Being courteous of everyone else using a quiet space and removing yourself and your screaming baby to calm it down is not unreasonable.
I randomly have dreams that I was supposed to go to a college class I don’t remember signing up for. Like at least 4 times I’ve had this ftram
Ben's "Alriiiight" is giving Safiya lol
How in the hell is that legal? I'm in the UK and I'd lose my job for posting a kid's name and grade online!!
As a person on an autism spectrum, I totally understand not wanting to hear a crying baby or someone talking.
I never knew why my classmates were talking after they finished exam and I didn't.
I couldn't focus and wanted them dead.
Now I know I have high-functioning autism and people like me can't focus when there are disturbing noises.
But not everyone is like me, I am the exeption
I’ve been in higher education for the last 12 years, and I am FINALLY going to be graduating with my Master’s at the end of this year. Definitely agree that professors/schools used to not be very good at explaining plagiarism, but over the last few years every teacher I’ve had has had a full paragraph explaining the parameters of plagiarism, including self-plagiarism. FYI I’ve also been to 7 schools in three different states.
In my experience, public libraries are generally not quiet, especially when many people are there and browsing books. Big libraries will have a "quiet" floor or closed off room, where yeah, it's expected to be quiet. But otherwise, don't be an a**hole and let other people also enjoy a public place. There are already so little remaining.
I study law in Australia and since covid we’ve had take home exams. They post the exam questions online and we have 48hrs to submit our responses in a word doc. They advise it will take 2 hours but you can take the whole 48hrs.
Law exams at my uni have always been open book but now you can access all the material online. I also access my text books online for free :)
The catalog story: glad to know misogyny is still alive.
are you?
??
An Acceptance rate of 50% doesn’t mean any one out two persons walking down the street can get in… it’s based on a pool of people who already qualify for the preconditions to apply.
Harvard has 5% of acceptance rate, does it mean out of every 100people in my neighborhood, 5 of them went to Harvard?
waking someone up is awkward if you're not super friendly with them. I actually had a VERY similar experience with a roommate in college where I knew she had a 9am exam and she wasnt up at 8.15. I set an extremely loud alarm to go off 5 minutes after I left at 8.20. That way, it woke her up and I could just apologize for accidentally "forgetting" my alarm if they got mad. It woke her up and we had a laugh about the "lucky accident" that helped her get to her exam on time. I never told her I did it on purpose lol.
This is an extremely clever way of waking someone up and perfect for college situations. This made me laugh when u admitted u didn’t tell her it was on purpose 🤣🤣
You're a good person!
Genius solution to the problem ✨
I did something similar too - roommate had an earlier exam than I did, I got up to get ready (about 20 mins before her exam started) and she wasn't up, but I didn't know if her exam was online or something so I didn't want to wake her up. so I just got ready a little louder than usual, banged around some plates while making breakfast, and she ended up waking up before her exam started. she didn't make it on time because she drove over a curb and popped her tire on the way to the exam (and then had to wait for AAA) but at least she was up
@@megxxns2657 omg this made me laugh LOL at least she had a valid excuse for not making it
I am a mom. Personally, I would not stay in a library with my screaming baby. I would feel awful subjecting people to what is one of the most grating sounds in the world in an environment that is supposed to be somewhat quiet. However, the mother's response tells me that she may be on the verge of a breakdown over the relentless crying of her baby. Her not even attempting to soothe the baby may point to a baby who will not be soothed. I have known people with babies who never stop crying. It will steal your sanity. I feel bad for the mom, but I also feel it's unreasonable to expect library patrons to listen to a crying baby for an hour.
My new neighbors should be more like you... They have twin boys who keep yelling in the echoey stairs room and they don't do anything about it. The other day the mother had one of them screaming on her doorstep and I'm like "can you please at least have him screaming *inside* with the door *closed*?" and she was like "you say that again when you have children of your own" and I was like "lol this is exactly the reason why I'm never going to have kids".
AITA for requesting this of her? I feel like it should be a common courtesy to not subject your neighbors to the grating screaming of your children, and it's not like I asked her to lock them in a closet or plaster their mouth. I merely asked her to take him a meter back and close the door lol
@@Thenoobestgirl
Maybe just report her to CPS, I have a son that could scream bloody murder for no end. And I always felt MORTIFIED anyone could hear him, so I would do anything to try and soothe him, especially if we were out in public.
@@ceciliatapioca do not wantonly suggest someone call CPS on a family just because they have rowdy children. Do you not realize the potential consequences, beyond the invasion of privacy?
@@alexey5481 -i would call CPS if I thought the child and/or mother was in a bad position.... such as hanging out in a library as if she had no where else to go with her screaming child. Clearly she needs help. CPS is not the police they help people, even if the pride of the parents might get hurt.
My youngest cried for first 2 months of her life. Turned out she wanted to be a tummy sleeper which any parent can't tell you goes completely against all recommendations for safe sleeping for your baby so I spent the next two months sleeping next to her bed barely sleeping. It was the worst 4 months I've ever had. We had to keep sending my other 2 kids to grand parents so they could get some sleep and my hubby and I took turns sleeping because she wouldn't sleep for more than 15mins at a time. It was awful and she was constantly crying and people would look at me like I was neglecting her when really there was nothing I could do for her and I needed to put her in her pram because my back hurt from carrying her the last 2 hours
My only thought on the baby one is the length of time in which the baby was crying. I completely understand an unsoothable child but after like ten minutes, in a library at that, that she didn’t take the baby into the bathroom or outside for some air and soothe them there? After a certain amount of time in any space, that would get irritating. If this was a plane or somewhere she couldn’t escape from it would be a different story.
Yeah, that stuck out to me too. If it was a full hour there is something else here. Regardless of the reason, you’d think that person would understand they are in a place where being quiet is the normal and have tried to move elsewhere.
Conpletely agree, that was a crazy amount of time. Like if you took a baby to a movie theater and it started crying and wouldn't stop it would be inconsiderate not to leave and be back untill it calmed down.
I thought about that too, I don't now lot about babies, but like, didn't they cry, when they have some problem? Like I'm not that great with them, but I had times looking after some of my friend's/family's , and even I'm able to figure it out in 15-20 mins, lol.
I am assuming the poster is exaggerating about the length of time.
@@Deneph agreed. It’s highly unlikely a baby was crying loudly for an hour straight.
The story about the failing grade is so frustrating. OP says they gave the kid lots of opportunities to do homework or extra credit, and that they had multiple parent/teacher meetings to keep the kid's mom aware. It might have been better for the teacher to just say to the kid, "You had lots of chances to improve your grade through the semester, what happens now is what you chose." But for the kid's mom to claim they didn't "invest more in Levi," that's so annoying and entitled. Especially when a teacher has tried to make the class as simple and low-stress as possible.
ALSO as a librarian, the last story irritated me from the policy standpoint. If the library staff talked to the mom multiple times and she still didn't make any attempt to do anything about the baby crying, they can ask her to leave. It's a conduct disruption, unless the mom and baby were in a children's section where there is a reasonable expectation of kid noise. OP shouldn't have approached the mom directly.
+1 to what you said about the failing grade thing. It's hard to know without knowing the people involved, but for the way it's described, not only the kid wasn't making any effort, but he also was surrounded by adults enabling that kind of attitude and behaviour to the point of blaming the teacher for 'failing' the student instead of acknowledging the kid's responsibility over his results. One of the many reasons I could never be a teacher is because I would hatehatehate dealing with parents like those on a regular basis.
@@hozepheena yup. I was considering becoming a teacher a few years ago and I worked in an afternoon care for pre school students. Most parents were nice and understanding, but those few parents who never saw any bad behaviour in their kid were the most annoying people.
Especially true when the teacher has at least 25 other kids to worry about (per class even) ive fallen behind in high school and my teachers always made me aware of it very early on and I'd feel so bad for potentially letting them down when they really were trying their best to teach me
I was coming down here to say this too. Not only does it sound like Levi and his parents have been made aware of his grade and still nothing has changed, but now they're mad he's failing? It sounds like they just want Levi to pass just because. Also this won't (potentially) ruin him graduating. Retake grade 11 chemistry 1st semester of grade 12 and then do the next chem class in the next semester. Also the fact that this teacher is trying her best with this student shows how good of a teacher she is. Especially since she probably has close to 100 students who also need her attention.
@@hozepheena
RIGHT?? My petty ass would respond to that e-mail saying “I’m sorry you didn’t invest more time raising up your child and teaching him the importance of responsibility and that there are consequences to your actions.”
The pokemon one is fuckedddd that's so gross. I have memory loss so I need to write down some stuff too, but it's worse when it's frat dudes doing it for sorority girls just knowing how to make yourself attractive to them, like be yourself? Gross. Even if it's not about sex, it's super manipulative, it's fake, creepy. I bet 100% if they were themselves, the girls would likely not be interested, and you're forcing them to be interested by pretending to be interested in what they like and do.
I also have problems with memory, and while I might have to write down a person's name and describe to myself what they look like, it would never go further than that. What really makes this guy worse is that he decided to share it with other guys. You just don't do that, regardless of any circumstances. Also, what happened to following people on social media? Is that not enough of a tracker of public info anymore?
and like its one thing if its just a couple random things from a few people, but specifically with girls, specifically to know what to talk to them on dates about (didnt realize fav color was a hot topic). The guy is either faking being that innocent or is just otherwise socially inept. but the fact that he notes "it wasnt for bad reasons" makes me thing its the former.
Imagine growing up and asking your dad "How did you meet mom?" and having as an answer "Well, kid, I stalked her and kept a spreadsheet about her"
Public librarian of 10+ years here- in my experience, most librarians handle noise complaints (patron complaints, period) with as much sensitivity and decorum as we can. That being said, even in public libraries- which have become more like centers for community engagement & resources than ultra-strict, old-school “shushing” environments- there still exists a reasonable expectation for other patrons (and library staff) to not be subjected to sustained yelling, screaming, etc. Kids cry- we get that, and at my library, we’ll even bring over busy bags and educational activities to help distract/calm crying children. If it continues even after gentle intervention, most library staff will suggest some cooldown time outside the library, and that the parent try bringing the child back once they’ve had a chance to calm down. If I had to guess, the apparent harshness from the librarian here wasn’t in reaction to the child crying, but to the parent’s completely inappropriate screaming. Verbal abuse towards anyone- other patrons and library staff- is never OK and is rarely tolerated for the safety of everyone in the library. Just adding some professional perspective- LOVE the podcast/Holo Taco!
yeah at least calm the kid outside. thats what i did as a big sister in all situations i brought my siblings in and it made people feel uncomfortable. and im sorry to say that but i just thought "this would annoy me" and i was 13-18 in those situations. now im 26 and my mind still hasnt changed and i do the same with my niece
31:09 I can confirm it is super creepy! I was unfortunately a victim of harassment in middle school and it got to a point where a ton of strangers knew details about me. Kids I had never met in my life would walk up to me and tell me my full name, my extracurricular activities and where and when I did them, etc., etc. It was actually terrifying. To be honest, my fear that I'm being followed, or that someone is listening to my conversations, remains. At the time I even had an irrational fear that people could hear my thoughts, and it was seriously debilitating.
Glad to know the “forgot an assignment” high school nightmares never go away 😂
i have nightmares to this day that I forgot to attend entire courses for whole semesters.
I would have had a 94% in my first year French course had I remembered about this one assignment 10 minutes earlier… it was pain. Still got an 89%, but ugh, frustrated by myself sometimes.
My mom still has dreams about math exams. She is almost 60🤣
I graduated college 3 years ago and I still have dreams that it's the day of the final and I haven't gone to class all semester
Same, I've graduated from university already but still have dreams where I can't graduate because I somehow forgot about a class for the whole semester.
If you don't want to be friends with Katie why fake it for three years? They should have made it clear freshmen year so she could have found new friends when everyone is making new friends. Now they've waited so long its going to be even more hurtful.
I think the girl who blames her roommate for failing her class is just angry she failed and doesn’t wanna accept it was her own fault so she blamed the roommate. In reality, it’s not anyone else’s job to make sure you’re passing school. Like, bbg, you’re in college, put on your big girl panties and be an adult. No one else is responsible for you. If you knew you had an important exam the next day set multiple alarms.
I agree, especially since the roommate never asked at any point if op could wake them up if its seemed like they could possibly be oversleeping.
THIS!!! I don’t get why any adult would expect a peer to parent them. Even if they were friends, waking up in time for any important event is your responsibility. If you asked them to please wake you up, maybe I would think differently.
but if the med student was doing an exam she couldn't just get up and move to a different computer, the progress might be lost or the link only works once. at least that would be the case normally for an online exam. ideally the student would have headphones with them, but it also is unreasonable that the child was crying for an hour in a library and the mother didn't do anything about it, like taking it outside or to a bathroom or smth
The baby one I completely agree with reddit, the op was not an asswhole at all. And my opinion is based on the op saying the mom didn't try to soothe the baby. The point Cristine made about the mom maybe not having another option to leave the baby and study was super valid but I always assume that a library is a place people are quiet unless told otherwise. A baby crying it's normal but the mom can attend to the and try and soothe them, as per the op's description the mom didn't even try and I think for that they were right to get the mom out of there bc she clearly didn't care for anyone else's experience in that public place where you expect quietness most of the time.
I have always been the "Katie" and it's really hard. Now that I'm older, I can tell when people don't like me, but when I was younger, I never could tell and would cling to whoever would keep me around. I realize now I'm not the problem, that it is just one of those things where certain people just don't click with certain people. Just be upfront! Tell Katie. It will cause less pain imo.
Yo same. You on the spectrum too by any chance? I found all her traits so painfully reminiscent of my younger self. Just trynna... make fren. Follow people, try to engage, make them awkward, not pick up on cues whatsoever.
@@moxxiemaximus I am too and I noticed similar traits and experiences to myself.
Hope Katie finds her people!
I haven't been the Katie personally, but the idea of this girl thinking these people were her friends and after *3 years* be told they don't like her, that they've never had. It breaks my heart, I can't fathom how painful that would be, if I even imagine my friends telling me something like that it would break my heart. I feel so bad for Katie. And I know these people are not trying to be mean, but waiting 3 years to tell someone you don't click with them, those are 3 years of friendship that have become a lie to Katie. They even said Katie doesn't have other friends, It's way kinder to tell Katie right at the start if something bothers you so they can decide if its something in their behavior that needs to change or just find new friends; after 3 years at college a lot of friend groups are pretty much consolidated and it's much harder for a new person to join the dynamic. I hope Katie finds the right group of people for her.
no you being you is not the issue but you also lack of social intelligence. depending of the culture and the education it can be hard to tell people off especially for some people. in france you would have been excluded more openly i assume.
Ben, I'm 45 years old, and I still have the occasional dream that I find out that I failed one class in high school and didn't really graduate.
Oh god, so I guess I’ll always have those nightmares too 😭. Good to know haha
I never know my school schedule in my dreams and I'm 32😅
In my early 30's and I have dreams of where I'm late for class and my locker won't open and when it does all my books are gone. Dreams like that are never going to end.
I‘m late to this discussion but I’m also 30 and have regular dreams that I after all did fail maths and have to go back to school now.
That roommate getting mad at her bc she didn't wake up for her exam set me off! I would have told her, "I'm not your mother, you're a grown woman, you are responsible for yourself!" It's literall projection of her own failure.
Agreed! Also... They didn't ask to be checked on.
What we usually do is tell each other. Please if I'm not awake at 7am please knock on my door.
Otherwise everyone does their own thing. At the end of the day you are an adult... You may need to kinda find what works for you
Absolutely!! I responded this in another comment, but why is a college student demanding a peer to parent them, baffles me.
Dude with the "pokedex" really ticked me off. He got what he had coming to him.
It's like they thought real life is like a dating sim where you have info on people so you don't get confused about the stats of all the girls you are juggling. and to make it available to like 40 people as well? disgusting.
For the story regarding the crying baby in the library, I was always told you need to keep the noise down to a minimum or in very low voice. You never walk into a library and yell across the floor or people talk at regular decibel like at at a restaurant where the noise level will remain high because so many conversations are going on and trying to be heard over others. Even if there with a study group you keep your voices lower as to not disturb the people at the next table. Or would it be ok to have a full fledged phone conversation at the library. I would think you’d walk outside or over to another area. So the same should be said of the baby. And as reference I’m a parent and would feel mortified that everyone could here my baby crying it’s head off, regardless of location, I’d exclude myself and go somewhere else until they calm down. It’s about being courteous to others around you. However, I think she got herself kicked out for starting an argument and calling that other person a name.
I think Ben's point about the possibility that the lady didn't have any other option is worth considering. I mean, take the most extreme case: if she didn't have a home / safe place to go. Many smaller towns don't have many public spaces besides libraries where you could go to warm up during winter or cool down during summer. Of course, hopefully as a society we focus on providing more emergency shelters and crisis centers etc, but the reality is that if it were freezing cold outside and she had no where to go, I can see why she would stay in the library even with a crying baby. Who knows, maybe she needed the public computer to apply to jobs or search the internet for other places to go. The fact that she snapped might show that she's under a ton of stress
@@13cathie emergency shelters still make you leave for the daytime, to save money on staffing. They kick you out right after breakfast and chores and you aren't allowed back inside until dinner prep time, no matter the weather, in most cities. I can definitely picture a newly homeless mother, without resources, sitting there in a daze not having the option of fixing whatever is causing her baby to cry (no money for diapers, too physically exhausted to walk/rock, doesn't know where to go for help yet, etc) and while obviously we have no way to know whether that's true, it definitely would have been my first guess as to what's going on. I really hope that the librarian acted that way because they had already checked and that wasn't the case, because it would be tragic if they were kicking her out into the weather without considering that possibility and offering the help that most librarians are happy to provide (info on where to get resources for babies, places to go that are safe, or even just a few kind words that will give her the strength to come back into herself and take care of herself and her baby)
But in the end, it’s about removing yourself from the common area, closer to the door, bathroom, entry hallway, etc until you can calm the baby down. So not to disturb everyone.
@Brenda B and when you're homeless living in a shelter, your legs are exhausted from walking everywhere, possibly upwards of an hour just to get to your nearest public library, so going to go stand elsewhere for hours isn't always an option. Also, not all libraries have a place that is away from the "common area" in which customers are allowed to go. You can't just sit in the bathroom with your baby for the 6-8 hours the shelter kicks you out for. Humans aren't even built to sit on a toilet for longer than a few minutes, let alone hours, they're too narrow, and people need them to actually, you know, use the toilet? Not just sit in an isolation room with their baby?
I think kicking the mom out wasn’t an asshole thing.
Library are places for people to study and read. Where I live, there may be some part of the library where you can make some noise, but most of it is silent by default.
I wouldn’t be mad at a parent struggling with their fusy baby. I’m ultra sensible to noise, but I couldn’t put the blame on them. Sometime, a baby won’t stop crying.
But it seemed that the mom didn’t gave any attention to their child and didn’t take any action. She could have taken the child with her outside a little bit to calm down the child without disturbing other people.