How to Talk to Anyone with Ease and Confidence

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  • Опубліковано 19 чер 2024
  • You can make dazzling conversation with anyone, and I am going to tell you how! Using a few conversation tricks and nonverbal tips, you'll be able to add to your communication repertoire and have wonderful conversations as well as memorable first impressions.
    There's a science behind having a good conversation and these are great first steps to amazing conversation, but if you need help with conversation starter topics visit: www.scienceofpeople.com/conve...
    Those are sure to spark interesting, deep, and unforgettable conversation with anyone you interact with! 😊
    In this video:
    00:00 Intro to the Science of Conversation
    00:51 Tip #1 - Intention
    01:43 Tip #2 - Approach
    02:38 Tip #3 - Openers
    03:32 Tip #4 - Sparks
    04:49 Tip #5 - Exits
    05:43 Bonus Tip - How to let people know you're open to connect?
    ******
    Hi, I’m Vanessa!
    You deserve more. More influence, more income, more of what you want. I would be honored to help you.
    Do you want to be the most likable person in the room? Get my FREE guide now: www.scienceofpeople.com/
    My name is Vanessa Van Edwards and I’m a recovering awkward person. I’m also a multi-time bestselling author of:
    Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication (www.scienceofpeople.com/cues/) Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People (www.scienceofpeople.com/capti...) and I am the creator of People School. This advanced video communication course is for high achievers who want to be confident communicators.
    My goal is simple: Help YOU get to your goals faster. Never be overlooked, interrupted or forgotten again.
    PS - Get our free 60-minute online trainings: www.scienceofpeople.com
    + Join the party on Instagram: / vvanedwards
    ******
    PS - Join the conversation on social!
    ☞ Facebook: / vvanedwards
    ☞ Twitter: / vvanedwards
    ☞ Instagram: / vvanedwards
    #vanessavanedwards #howtotalktopeople #startaconversation #howtotalktoanyone #howtobememorable #howtohaveconversations #icebreakers
  • Розваги

КОМЕНТАРІ • 4,2 тис.

  • @ScienceOfPeople
    @ScienceOfPeople  3 роки тому +183

    Find out more in our full article on this topic: www.scienceofpeople.com/talk-to-anyone/

    • @2.0learning16
      @2.0learning16 3 роки тому +2

      ua-cam.com/video/Q5ilMM7kthM/v-deo.html

    • @Greggee100
      @Greggee100 3 роки тому +2

      yeah, what do u do and what do u make????

    • @selfhelpsecrets
      @selfhelpsecrets 3 роки тому +2

      3:12 Best pick up line: "Hi, how are you? I´m Vanessa or whatever..." I have to try that. :)

    • @Kindlylisten3
      @Kindlylisten3 3 роки тому +1

      BUT I HAVE MY OWN STYLE. THAT DO NOT FOLLOW PICK UP LINES. NOT DOING WHAT PEOPLE TALK ABOUT PERSONALITY.
      BECAUSE I AM UNIQUE IN MYSELF. AND MY MIND OBSERVE PEOPLE IN REAL WORLD AND THAT'S HOW IT IS CREATED IN HUMAN.
      LIKE LEARNING AND RESPONSING.

    • @akhtarlaghari8484
      @akhtarlaghari8484 3 роки тому

      Best

  • @AmeenAhmed1105
    @AmeenAhmed1105 6 років тому +13177

    I often plan out conversations in my head that I end up never having in real life.

  • @staR-nh7wq
    @staR-nh7wq 4 роки тому +4031

    Well once I asked someone
    “How are you?”
    And she said “Good how are you?”
    And I said back “I’m good how are you?”
    😭
    Edit: (someone in the comments asked what happened after that)
    She threw up and I’ve felt worthless and ashamed of myself ever since

    • @asiimwejoweria2584
      @asiimwejoweria2584 4 роки тому +65

      hehe...it's coz u lack confidence..hihi

    • @RSanchez93
      @RSanchez93 4 роки тому +150

      Welcome to my world lmao, im trying to better my people skills

    • @staR-nh7wq
      @staR-nh7wq 4 роки тому +19

      asiimwe joweria YES! Glad you figured that one out.

    • @anitavirginillo
      @anitavirginillo 4 роки тому +27

      That's funny

    • @kallansivparsad2765
      @kallansivparsad2765 4 роки тому +31

      More than once for me 😂

  • @ajunicefor24h15
    @ajunicefor24h15 3 роки тому +1387

    I'm awkward.
    Honestly .
    I really don't know what to say to people.
    It's like my mind goes completely blank and it refuses to help.
    I don't have friends because I can't communicate easily.
    I actually like being by myself though.
    Makes me a good listener.
    But you know we need to get ourselves out there sometimes.
    So I decided on 4 simple steps:
    1) open with a smile;
    2)compliment people;
    3)crack a joke here & there.
    4) most importantly - L I S T E N
    This is literally to anyone I meet.

    • @teresai1877
      @teresai1877 3 роки тому +40

      Hi Aju, You can improve. I used to be terrible: either not talking at all (just smiling) or talking non stop. You just start little at a time. Say 1 or 2 things and then give them a chance to talk. Always keep it related and build off what the other person says. You: "Hey, ____, how is everything/how are you?" Other person: "Good thanks." You again: Ask them something depending on where this is/how you know them. If they're from work: So how's you're project going?/ What did you think of the meeting yesterday?/So what are you doing this weekend? Other person again: Now, it's their turn. Keep it going back and forth like a tennis match.

    • @ajunicefor24h15
      @ajunicefor24h15 3 роки тому +2

      @@teresai1877Thankyou so much!!

    • @MooseBme
      @MooseBme 2 роки тому +13

      General topics, hedlines, weather, clothes, cars... ;).

    • @Amina-ok7hf
      @Amina-ok7hf 2 роки тому +5

      I figured it's good when you throw some sweet and funny self-deprecating story. Like that time I bough a SIM card on black market and whenever my boss would call me he would reach a 13 yo in Oregon. Her parents thought he was a creep, and he stopped talking to me at work. I couldn't figure out that I could make calls, but not accept them, because of faulty SIM.
      They find you human :)
      and then it flows

    • @blazeofficial6292
      @blazeofficial6292 2 роки тому +25

      I don't know if I have brain damage, or my mind just goes blank I legit don't even know... :/

  • @dime192
    @dime192 3 роки тому +1382

    Most of us Introverts have a hard time communicating with others because we have insecurities about ourselves.

    • @nematkashmiri7514
      @nematkashmiri7514 3 роки тому +14

      It was great conversation .

    • @dr.greenmm1501
      @dr.greenmm1501 3 роки тому +21

      I like snorting mushed bananas

    • @catherinemadison2175
      @catherinemadison2175 2 роки тому +6

      ITS 1 AM AND IM WHEEZING

    • @evm6177
      @evm6177 2 роки тому +13

      Introversion is nothing, just get a PHD in nuclear physics to boost your confidence or say your an Architect.. Either way you have to be employed of course. 🍷😉

    • @chucalissa9231
      @chucalissa9231 2 роки тому +6

      I'm a introvert no problem.talking

  • @anshroow
    @anshroow 5 років тому +3666

    I know I have bad social skills but what is sad is that UA-cam knows it enough to recommend this too me. 😂

  • @Andrew-ig5sp
    @Andrew-ig5sp 5 років тому +4608

    *smile*
    *shoulders down and back*
    “Hi, How are you?”
    “I’m well, how are you?”
    “I’m well, thanks.”
    .....
    .....
    *runs away crying*

    • @psalmonefortysixdottwo9512
      @psalmonefortysixdottwo9512 5 років тому +56

      LOL

    • @MelodyAMc14
      @MelodyAMc14 5 років тому +104

      You forgot to finish with them saying "What just happened?"

    • @nova136565
      @nova136565 5 років тому +164

      OMG. This is exactly how it would go for me except instead of crying it would just turn into embarrassment because of the silence. Lol.

    • @reddhawt2378
      @reddhawt2378 5 років тому +10

      Lol! Right!

    • @nateanderson271
      @nateanderson271 5 років тому +17

      Dude I’m crying!! 😭😂

  • @amirulariffofficial8042
    @amirulariffofficial8042 2 роки тому +323

    1)intention
    2)approach
    -body languange (smile, posture)
    3)open line
    -hey, how are you?
    4)look for mutual --> conversation sparks
    -eye brow raised
    5) end
    -future plan --> wish the best of luck

    • @fosibro4951
      @fosibro4951 2 роки тому +1

      Hey how's it working out for you?

    • @k-yenma4956
      @k-yenma4956 Рік тому +1

      Thank youuu💙💙

  • @ercielaguerder4570
    @ercielaguerder4570 3 роки тому +367

    My mind is also making a conversation with me while I'm conversing with someone

    • @hazelchief-rabbit5903
      @hazelchief-rabbit5903 2 роки тому +9

      Oh man, I do that too!

    • @Sammasambuddha
      @Sammasambuddha 2 роки тому +4

      Medicinal Marijuana totally ends the noisy mind and those voices!

    • @bradyrobertson23
      @bradyrobertson23 2 роки тому +9

      @@Sammasambuddha medical alcohol can help with quieting the mind also🙂

    • @sladeo810
      @sladeo810 2 роки тому +2

      I can't even have a conversation with myself!

    • @user-yc5um2pl5v
      @user-yc5um2pl5v 2 роки тому +1

      Shout "shut up" at him and continue your unique inner conversation! That's the most important thing! :)

  • @dececanem
    @dececanem 4 роки тому +4406

    It’s easy to start a conversation, the hard part is to keep it going

    • @mariamk7828
      @mariamk7828 4 роки тому +78

      cavecanem fucking me

    • @aleempervaiz8789
      @aleempervaiz8789 4 роки тому +7

      cavecanem Read my comments carefully (above, on the top).

    • @gmhenry14
      @gmhenry14 4 роки тому +114

      @@aleempervaiz8789 Keep moving your eyebrows up and down

    • @aleempervaiz8789
      @aleempervaiz8789 4 роки тому +35

      @@gmhenry14: Darwin was a confused person so he created chaos in human life. Adam/Eve story is simple, graceful, and easily understandable. Human beings spent a very short time on this globe and die. No need to indulge in such stupidities.

    • @phoenixbluex
      @phoenixbluex 4 роки тому +197

      Same. People start talking about stuff I know nothing about or have no interest in and I don't know what to say anymore.

  • @e3ko889
    @e3ko889 5 років тому +3799

    my conversation
    me: ''hi how are u ''
    random person: ''fine how are u''
    me: ''good''
    [awkward silence]

    • @shon8175
      @shon8175 5 років тому +57

      Hahaha same

    • @mohitkerketta5176
      @mohitkerketta5176 5 років тому +443

      Then continue on , nice to meet you ,
      Then ask what's they are upto .
      Then ask about weather and listen their answer , if they answer in 1 word then (it's a sign that they aren't interested in those questions much) . Then ask them bigger question , like , latest news or simply ask what do you like to do ,
      Then when they say their likings , simply focus on things they like and ask them about that .
      Try this 😌

    • @Sakshi-dn3xc
      @Sakshi-dn3xc 5 років тому +57

      @@mohitkerketta5176 OMG thank you! you just saved my life

    • @mohitkerketta5176
      @mohitkerketta5176 5 років тому +78

      @@Sakshi-dn3xc just know to respect people spaces if they don't want to engage .

    • @thiwankadeseram3576
      @thiwankadeseram3576 5 років тому +10

      Ill be back

  • @PaulaGUmeh
    @PaulaGUmeh 3 роки тому +241

    "Smile is the opening line"
    We need a pandemic version of this 😭

    • @dionysioskokkoris4340
      @dionysioskokkoris4340 2 роки тому +19

      you can smile with your eyes as well

    • @classygary
      @classygary 2 роки тому +16

      Take the useless mask off always helps

    • @classygary
      @classygary 2 роки тому +8

      @@dionysioskokkoris4340 you can also take the useless mask off as well

    • @cleabarlow8952
      @cleabarlow8952 2 роки тому +7

      Eyebrow raise

    • @L490sr
      @L490sr 2 роки тому +3

      @@cleabarlow8952 the thing is..I’m always unconsciously glaring at people..well that’s what my sisters tell me

  • @dreammakergarage1133
    @dreammakergarage1133 2 роки тому +10

    I picked up my wife with this line.
    Would you like some company. She said yes. It was a wrap from there. This was at work in the cafeteria. It took me a little bit to build up the courage to do that. Lol.

  • @DrErwinKwun
    @DrErwinKwun 6 років тому +1840

    Great video. Here is a summary of the tips from Vanessa:
    1. Set your intention
    2. Approach with open body language
    3. Open with a smile
    4. Aim for Sparks
    5. Exit by referring to the future

    • @markl.2299
      @markl.2299 5 років тому +10

      SuccessinsightsTV - How do you exit by referring to the future if it’s Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday? “So...have any plans for Tuesday?” 🤨

    • @Heavy2deep
      @Heavy2deep 5 років тому +5

      Thank you

    • @amysteriousdisease7168
      @amysteriousdisease7168 5 років тому +4

      or could say like see you later

    • @mikeyriley8959
      @mikeyriley8959 5 років тому +47

      6. Don't stare at her tits

    • @Stonefactor
      @Stonefactor 5 років тому +2

      Comment should be pinned. Just needs the foot angle part summed up and added.

  • @R4G397
    @R4G397 6 років тому +860

    She's so good at speaking, so confident and no stuttering or long pauses.

    • @aspire2begreat938
      @aspire2begreat938 6 років тому +18

      Michael Jacob she is the GOAT

    • @manisham.k6258
      @manisham.k6258 5 років тому

      Hi can you join me ? I'm looking for best speaker if u can plz

    • @manisham.k6258
      @manisham.k6258 5 років тому +2

      Plz msg me

    • @kushagrasonkar
      @kushagrasonkar 5 років тому +28

      @@manisham.k6258 stop begging Indian dude or chick . Have some self respect and dignity

    • @ceecee8757
      @ceecee8757 5 років тому +2

      Yes, the lady in blue has been doing this for a long time. 🤣

  • @InkandCrystal
    @InkandCrystal 11 місяців тому +8

    1. Think of intention before a conversation
    2. Body language: hands visible, shoulders down, smile
    3. Best opening: "Hello how are you?"
    4. Sparks: eyebrows raise
    5. Best ending: "Hey what are you up to this weekend?" -> "It's so great to speak with you, I wish a best luck on ...."
    6. Pivot out when available for people to approach
    7. Sweet spot to find someone to talk: grab a drink and stand beside the snack place

  • @katcampbell9213
    @katcampbell9213 2 роки тому +71

    I find the best conversations happen with people I have chemistry with. Its sadly a darn rare occurrence but lovely when it happens

  • @queenestyzigi5020
    @queenestyzigi5020 4 роки тому +1436

    Introverts, gather here coz this tips will come in handy 😂

  • @musicenjoyer
    @musicenjoyer 5 років тому +611

    There's no recipe for how to be attractive or confident. Just be comfortable with yourself and the rest will come by itself. Honestly, if you feel good with yourself you will never care about anyone's opinion, in a nice way.
    Find your Bliss people!

    • @hninoowai1431
      @hninoowai1431 4 роки тому +4

      I do agree

    • @billiexxxmelanie2773
      @billiexxxmelanie2773 4 роки тому +23

      Lmao i have been faking my personality to the point that idk who i am ✌😭

    • @samsoOoma2009
      @samsoOoma2009 4 роки тому +1

      Absolutely 👍🏼

    • @chimchimxchipi5854
      @chimchimxchipi5854 4 роки тому +4

      Your answer is helpful. I think. But then, I'm dumb enough to go ahead and ask how to be comfortable with myself? 😂

    • @scooterlovya
      @scooterlovya 4 роки тому

      @@chimchimxchipi5854 I know

  • @nutalomzin5625
    @nutalomzin5625 3 роки тому +7

    I'm introvert but I try to be more sociable. I just feel like If I can do I will have a lot of friends, new knowledges I've never know before, new attitudes and etc..

  • @chuckbelow337
    @chuckbelow337 3 роки тому +9

    Vision your outcome, work the q's, be at ease, be engaged, be genuine, be smart, work within their interest, set up for the later conversation.
    Makes total sense. Probably natural for extroverts. Much was brought to light here. Thanks

  • @alexlovesplants
    @alexlovesplants 4 роки тому +1967

    random but don't you think the name Vanessa fits her literally perfectly

    • @jatinameta6048
      @jatinameta6048 4 роки тому +82

      Yes you're right her Face+Hair = Vanessa

    • @Black_pearl_adrift
      @Black_pearl_adrift 3 роки тому +63

      Some people you look at them and go... yeah that fits perfectly 🤣

    • @naveene.c.5894
      @naveene.c.5894 3 роки тому +4

      Would you like to practice English with me pls.

    • @ragnorfellandcantgetup3916
      @ragnorfellandcantgetup3916 3 роки тому +6

      It means butterfly

    • @ravirao121
      @ravirao121 3 роки тому

      Idk if u know but a name #Sunny fits yr profile pic as well

  • @VicZ582
    @VicZ582 4 роки тому +349

    A really good and condensed 7min talk, I watched 4 times.
    Here are notes I took and hope it helps other people like me.
    • Set an intention for the conversation you want to get out of
    • Smile to people
    • What’s a good opening line?
    ◦ Start with simple greeting, like : “hey how are ya” don’t say something too intense.
    ◦ Complement are great second and third.
    • Look for conversation sparks, find the cues of engagement, e.g. eyebrow raised, so you know they are interested in the topic. Find mutual likes.
    • Ending a conversation
    ◦ Last impression is as important as the first impression
    ◦ shift to future-warding discussion
    ◦ Mention you are happy to chat and wish them best luck
    • Approaching people: look for open gesture, be open gesture / pivot out when you want to be approached
    • Get off your cellphone
    • Tip for when you have no one to talk to on a party: a sweet spot is at the exit of the food line, that’s where people just got food and have no one talk to, and you can use your opening line “hey how are you”

  • @nz7780
    @nz7780 3 роки тому +33

    It’s easy to head toward the end of a convo politely, but sometimes it’s hard to not end the convo awkwardly or abruptly especially with someone who isn’t good at picking up on cues that the convo is fizzling out, time to go, or it’s been going on for forever, etc. But love the future question/mention technique!

  • @sacdaabdurhman
    @sacdaabdurhman 3 роки тому +18

    “Leaders can let you fail and yet not let you be a failure.” Sharing some love from small UA-camr

  • @trpyk5628
    @trpyk5628 6 років тому +5154

    The fact that I look up these kind of videos is pretty sad already.

    • @aspire2begreat938
      @aspire2begreat938 6 років тому +49

      Vanessa Van Edwards you are the G.O.A.T. I hope I meet you one day!!!!

    • @aspire2begreat938
      @aspire2begreat938 6 років тому +14

      Vanessa Van Edwards you are the G.O.A.T. I hope to meet you one day 🙏🏿

    • @LuisaH2022
      @LuisaH2022 6 років тому +24

      Exactly. My grandmother hadn't have any problems to talk to waaay older people at her job or vacation. I didn't have any problems to talk to doctors and understand and being curious about my cold or how my heart beats. I could talk in English at 10 (English is not my native language) and be confident with my half American half UK language. I was confident to talk to my male colleagues about girl problems and periods and they were thankful because I prepared them to understand their future girlfriends, wives and daughters. Since I started university I changed into an emotionally abused depressive dog

    • @magicmc23
      @magicmc23 6 років тому +55

      Trpy K dont worry. You are simply expanding your knowledge

    • @lawrenceno6877
      @lawrenceno6877 6 років тому

      Tell your mom

  • @normapadro420
    @normapadro420 4 роки тому +135

    Hello. I was listening to a neighbor that was talking to me and all of a sudden my phone rang. I didn't answer it. They said to answer it and I told them that I enjoy their conversation and that I enjoy listening to them. Usually robo calls interrupt, but I wanted the person that was talking to me to feel that their conversation was meaningful to me. It's called appreciation.

    • @duendadelbosque
      @duendadelbosque 4 роки тому +4

      That's an excellent advice and really nice to say tho

    • @ryanowen3026
      @ryanowen3026 3 роки тому +4

      Mums dying.... fk it ithink its a robo call
      To the neighbour “ good weather today “...

    • @socb5642
      @socb5642 3 роки тому +2

      well depends on who is calling

    • @HAHA-kk2xy
      @HAHA-kk2xy 3 роки тому +1

  • @AR-rn8ok
    @AR-rn8ok 2 роки тому +30

    She forgot to mention our appearance as well. It’s easier to have a conversation with someone who is clean, smells, good, is well groomed, and has a nice style. For example this woman is gorgeous. Every guy in the room wants to chat with her.

  • @publicspeakingbasics
    @publicspeakingbasics Рік тому +2

    The next generation needs this more than anything - we don't get enough practice due to all our tech & social media. Kudos for sharing your insights!

  • @Kristina-zt2op
    @Kristina-zt2op 5 років тому +731

    The hard part comes after the Hey, how are ya 😂

    • @paulchahal3095
      @paulchahal3095 5 років тому +51

      Have pre-planned answers for most occasions. We as humans love to connect with others. If still you have issues, put it on your Creator [as a Manufacturing Defect! LoL], you are not at fault for your mental-makeup or its perceived shortcomings, you excel some other areas!. Move on, life is too precious to be self-critical, laugh with world and world will laugh with you! -Blessings.

    • @lorisiccia5914
      @lorisiccia5914 5 років тому +18

      Yes agreed.. someone actually replying is a start....its not all on you.
      Im still trying to figure the art of conversation myself.. i am an introvert but still like to say simple hello to people in passing.
      The replies back are starting to be fewer these days. I say hi to everyone...i find older people or a dog lover wanting to stop to say hello to my dog are the only people who reply.
      If they dont reply... its probably some one i dont want to talk to anyway.

    • @ethnicleanserberg7975
      @ethnicleanserberg7975 5 років тому +2

      @@paulchahal3095 "Manufacturing defect" hahahahahahah ! Thank you

    • @gustavoalonso-moreno1251
      @gustavoalonso-moreno1251 5 років тому +12

      Just go with your gut. It's not difficult. It's all in your mind, really.

    • @TimeKillerC
      @TimeKillerC 5 років тому +4

      The hard part is the hey how are you

  • @mandydada4093
    @mandydada4093 4 роки тому +328

    me: wants to talk
    also me: wants to stop the endless convo without being rude

    • @mizuuwu
      @mizuuwu 4 роки тому +8

      I RELATE SOOOO MUUUUUCH

    • @vsatonthebeat4101
      @vsatonthebeat4101 3 роки тому

      like just like wtf this isn't funny so I prefer silence😂

  • @Dashingdiva73
    @Dashingdiva73 2 роки тому +18

    I wish I was this smooth. I can only do this when I'm working but not socially.

    • @azme9355
      @azme9355 2 роки тому +1

      You're very pretty

  • @Nadia-18
    @Nadia-18 2 роки тому +3

    I should have seen this when I was at a outdoors bar! I felt like I was missing some cues but I realize now why! Thank you xx

  • @walidbahhur8132
    @walidbahhur8132 4 роки тому +279

    During pandemic, “how are you?” “Backup 6 feet!”

    • @fowzziabegum3397
      @fowzziabegum3397 3 роки тому

      😬🏃‍♀️🤭

    • @Fbabali
      @Fbabali 3 роки тому

      Lmfao

    • @darrenmcdermott3665
      @darrenmcdermott3665 3 роки тому +1

      Just hug them right away !

    • @blakejames9743
      @blakejames9743 2 роки тому +1

      @Ferzzy It's a blessing in disguise. I've met a good amount of people that were desperately looking others to talk to that were not afraid to connect because of the virus. While I respect other people's decisions on their safety, I don't let them rule me. Some think I'm crazy, but most admire the bold stance.

    • @100samanthamarie
      @100samanthamarie 2 роки тому

      Riot police: •coughhh coughhh COUUGHHH*
      Peaceful protestors: 😱 🤢 back up 6 feet!
      Peaceful protestors who don’t accept bullshit: 🤜 👮🏽

  • @heathermurphy1065
    @heathermurphy1065 4 роки тому +53

    Yes, I always say “Hi, how are you?” And then judging by their response I know how to go from there. Body language is key.

    • @oceankombas4235
      @oceankombas4235 4 роки тому

      Yeah exactly

    • @papichulotv727
      @papichulotv727 4 роки тому

      Heather Murphy where do you live

    • @nonobuddie5018
      @nonobuddie5018 4 роки тому +1

      why i hate people, or is me?
      mwhahahaaaa

    • @naveene.c.5894
      @naveene.c.5894 3 роки тому

      Would you like to practice English with me pls

    • @Financefarmers
      @Financefarmers 3 роки тому

      ua-cam.com/video/Rb1sBRpoGF4/v-deo.html
      Subscribe and support plzzzz

  • @zuhamalik7686
    @zuhamalik7686 Рік тому

    Saw this video 4 years back when I started university. Now graduated and starting my career, I am back here to tell you that IT WORKS!! I am an extreme introvert and I made alot of freinds. And if not freinds but have build this capacity to talk to people.

  • @flightforlight157
    @flightforlight157 2 роки тому +11

    Makes so much sense never thought about these things lol the biggest thing for me is having the mindset to be open-minded

  • @reubenbroussard6955
    @reubenbroussard6955 4 роки тому +76

    For those of you that are having trouble getting past the “Hey how are you?”, try not to focus on the conversation ending before it has even began. Instead, focus on the first step that Vanessa mentioned which is setting the intent. Even ask about their hobbies or work. Whatever they’re answer, dig further into that and ask questions about it as though you will be attempting it soon. I personally love being able to gain a new perspective in such a short amount of time simply through another’s words.

    • @vikramjangam
      @vikramjangam 10 місяців тому

      power of confidence : ua-cam.com/video/-w4i44m4Vpc/v-deo.html

  • @ericafarley2850
    @ericafarley2850 6 років тому +229

    I'm an introvert & shy & have been wanting to expanding my circle of influence. This really brings clarity on just how to start talking to people.

    • @AkhirahOverDunya85
      @AkhirahOverDunya85 6 років тому +2

      Same here....good luck :)

    • @popbroke3505
      @popbroke3505 6 років тому

      Introverted the way to go

    • @fatimasamira3695
      @fatimasamira3695 6 років тому +1

      Erica Farley Same here. Venessa is the savior when it comes to socializing.

    • @biancadanielhnc3576
      @biancadanielhnc3576 5 років тому

      You. Most be. A. Star. you have it 500000$%.

    • @AZ_TONY
      @AZ_TONY 5 років тому +11

      Read "how to win friends and influence people" and learn how to meditate trust me, I grew up very shy and introverted my entire life but I knew that I had this desire to get my message out into the world so I realized i had to learn not only how to talk to people but also how to influence a certain outcome that I desired, this can be used for both good and evil so use this information wisely, being around people often drained the life out of me and given that English was not my 1st language the idea of trying to start a conversation with someone made me want to crawl into a hole and disappear, so what I did is I forced myself into a situation where my survival depended on my ability to communicate with people and I picked up a commission only sales job, needless to say it took me a while but i got very well st what i did and after the years of education I can boil down the majority of my "success" to those 2 principles, learn and understand people, learn how to get people to like you, and learn how to meditate especially if you're an introvert so that you won't be drained after interacting with people, that's what meditation did for me it taught me how to preserve my energy and taught me how to use my energy to do what I want it to do when I want it to do it without exhausting myself, I use the meditation app called headspace but I think there are other free ones, now I'm working on a book that I am writing, a dream that I've always had, and am looking to do public speaking and starting a UA-cam channel to promote my books and ideas, something i never thought would be possible for me given my upbringing. Anyways I hope this helped.

  • @paulinjosepha2336
    @paulinjosepha2336 2 роки тому

    i can't believe some people still dislike this informative, interesting, and well done video ? She is trying to help us to get better.

  • @supplychainsants
    @supplychainsants 2 роки тому +5

    Awsome explanations: Intension, Approach, Opener, Sparks, Body Language, Start of Conversation, Interest and Exits. You have explained the things in a simple way. 👍💫

  • @KamranKhan-lo2ev
    @KamranKhan-lo2ev 5 років тому +3269

    Q.Hey hello how are you?
    A. I have a boyfriend

    • @TrinSquared2
      @TrinSquared2 5 років тому +42

      Kamran Khan 😂😂😂

    • @lorisiccia5914
      @lorisiccia5914 5 років тому +78

      I ve said hi how are you.. or just the hi.... and the zombie walk right past... nothin..no hello no grunt no nod.
      Icome from a small town where evem strangers say hello in passing... or at minimum a smile or nod.. even a shrug
      Ok.... cool good chat.
      Zombies.. everywhere.
      Its the first word we learn besides mamma or daddy.... yet people have stopped saying a simple hello. Some might say hello if i have my dog with me. But even then sometimes another person with a dog... the dog is more friendly than the person.
      Have people lost their basic hello or hi?
      Like a hello or a hi means something more.
      Dont worry ive had that same answer
      Hi....
      I have a gf / bf
      Ok...Im not lookin.. im just saying hi!

    • @heinzkitzvelvet
      @heinzkitzvelvet 5 років тому +110

      Kamran Khan Your best response in that situation should be "So do I" and then laugh your ass off. If she laughs, you're in. You can then strike up a conversation.
      1. She didn't expect that response and it throws her off her game and crashes thru her bitch walls. So she's immediately intrigued and entertained.
      2. For the moment, she thinks you're gay so the flight or fight response is immediately removed.
      3. You've made her laugh, you've crashed right thru her guard walls and you've taken away the threat of just some random guy hitting on her.
      If you're comfortable with yourself you can play up the gay angle and get really lispy and queenish and talk about how fabulous her make up or nail colour or outfit or whatever you like, is.
      Chicks CANNOT resist a guy who can play the moment like that. She'll be puddy in your hands.
      And even if you bomb, just laugh at yourself and tell her how much of a jackass you are and apologize for waisting her time. Begin to walk away and she'll BEG you to stay and talk to her more.

    • @juliusp147
      @juliusp147 5 років тому +6

      😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @getitdone0010
      @getitdone0010 5 років тому +3

      ssooooo cuteee

  • @orlandofranconovesterasjr.5548
    @orlandofranconovesterasjr.5548 3 роки тому +64

    The foundation of the person who you are and the conversations that you have with other people is determined by the behavioural patterns that you saw when you were young, what other people made you felt and especially from your parents growing up. Break the pattern and love yourself, you are great and what ever you have to say and think is unique and every one will appreciate what you say.
    It starts with loving yourself, accepting and knowing that you are overall great just as you are. Then eventually you'll love yourself more to improve everything about how you communicate.
    What this video is missing is that you need to trully love and respect yourself in order to have great conversations with other people. The negative conversations you have yourself and the thoughts you have in your head is what's stopping you from having awesome and freeflowing conversations with people.

    • @conversationcorner1837
      @conversationcorner1837 2 роки тому

      There are actual behaviors that people display that turns other people off. These bad behaviors needed to be iron out (For example, giving unsolicited advice under the belief that you're being honest/blunt). That's why there's a market for learning social skills.

    • @BrownWoman1011
      @BrownWoman1011 Рік тому

      ​@Bigfriendly1570 Sounds like Adhd My son has it, and he had the same issues.

    • @minhyuksssmile
      @minhyuksssmile 11 місяців тому

      @Bigfriendly1570 me too i get distracted easily and i cant pay attention to stuff anymore like i used too but its ok i hope you have goodluck

  • @GiovannaElias-CONNECTIONCODE
    @GiovannaElias-CONNECTIONCODE 2 роки тому +3

    "Your smile is your opening line..." Yes, exactly. I teach my clients that non-verbal cues are just as powerful as verbal cues. They have the power to make all the difference when it comes to communicating and connecting with people.

  • @aadeshadvilkar8495
    @aadeshadvilkar8495 3 роки тому +2

    I really appreciate the work that you are doing. Whatever the rudimentary tips you've mentioned nobody even think of it. Actually these are mundane things which we have to look at.actually most of the people end up with devastated impression. But because of you I understood how to indulge in a conversation.
    Thank you so much for that

  • @discorabbit
    @discorabbit 4 роки тому +33

    Water running in a stream has no plan. Yet it flows harmoniously, not resisting. So it is with conversation.

  • @YeshuaIsTheTruth
    @YeshuaIsTheTruth 5 років тому +14

    I really like how simple but simultaneously novel your tips are.
    Asking "how are you", open body language, and equal importance on 1st and last impressions. I will definitely be trying this formula out soon! Thank you!

  • @bernard4realz
    @bernard4realz 2 роки тому +6

    Really loved the tips especially the part about changing minds to the future before you leave a conversation, only God knows how many times I've ended a conversation with a really awkward tone

  • @meganahart1526
    @meganahart1526 3 роки тому +2

    What an amazing video! Using this on my company business review this week. Vanessa you're such an inspiration!

  • @beverleyroberts1025
    @beverleyroberts1025 6 років тому +233

    The Spanish are so good at saying good morning or good day to total strangers that they pass in the street. It can totally brighten your day when total stranger says this to you.😄

    • @lorisiccia5914
      @lorisiccia5914 5 років тому +22

      Ive been trying to do this for past few years...because it can really turn someones day around...not because it was from me.. just someone in general.
      Hello...with a smile.... but finding more often than not people just give me a weird side look or keep going.. only a few reply back..
      Its just a hello or good morning...or just morning...
      Its not askin someone for coffee ...
      Why are people so weird on replying back...ok it might not be a good morning for them...its not always a good morning for me either especially when someone just walks by....
      People could just do anything even a grunt or nod or smile. Or a simple wave.
      Im trying to figure out why people have stopped saying hello.
      It does the opposite effect when you say hello to 15 people snd not one says hello back...then 16 says nice day out isnt it? Yes.. its beautiful out... or yes...enjoy your walk.feel bad ehen no one replies And it somehow makes the day better having a reply back...

    • @Bbydoll90
      @Bbydoll90 5 років тому +6

      Hola señor🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️

    • @ARichardP
      @ARichardP 5 років тому +1

      Easier, yes. But it’s not true that many average-looking people aren’t good conversationalists. They work at it longer and harder and don’t waste time blaming and complaining.

    • @dmonk926
      @dmonk926 5 років тому +3

      who would do that in a city where you pass 5 people every second? that would seem kinda crazy to me. i do see people select a few random people out of the crowd to say hello or good day to

    • @robink5433
      @robink5433 5 років тому

      Beverley Roberts Gracias

  • @bronsonmcdonald5473
    @bronsonmcdonald5473 5 років тому +7

    I really enjoyed learning about the body language. I didn't realize I might have been sending out a message of being less approachable than I intended. I have had alot of social anxiety in the past, still have some but I am much better now. I was going out last week for dinner with some folks I used to work with and I was really looking forward to it, but still had to get myself 'psyched up' for it. I did 2 things: I set my intention of having some great fun and laughs, and to be my genuine self. The other thing was that I had 1 question in mind for each person to ask. Night went great!

  • @mr.shihab4089
    @mr.shihab4089 3 роки тому +2

    The best teacher of how to be a better person that I feel happy and enjoying her videos. ✨💌

  • @SamuelAlder
    @SamuelAlder 2 роки тому

    0. Set an intention!
    1. Hey how are you? (On approach)
    2. Find common interests... follow what makes your conversational partner raise their eyebrows or say things like "oh really?"
    3. Know when to end the conversation and do so by asking "what are you doing later today / tomorrow ? OK good luck with that and enjoy it!"
    Thanks a lot for this Vanessa, I'm sure your helping lots of people (:
    I wonder if you share this opinion: talking about ones passions and what one loves and is grateful for, focusing on that is better/ more attractive than criticism and complaint... staying in that genuinely grateful state requires me (personally) to meditate at least once a day.

  • @anewloveofficial9137
    @anewloveofficial9137 6 років тому +14

    I really need your amazing tips on how to have a conversation with anyone because I'm not that really good in talking to people I just met. Your advice is just right for me and I hope I can apply it someday for business and social purposes.

  • @keamomatlala8517
    @keamomatlala8517 4 роки тому +782

    My anxiety is peaking just thinking about implementing her advice💀

  • @emilioalvarado3487
    @emilioalvarado3487 3 роки тому +2

    Great tips! I'm going to try them at my job, specially the opened position when three people are talking to each other.

  • @DarshanTradeTalk
    @DarshanTradeTalk 3 роки тому

    I love the host clearing all the point and putting valid point..🙌

  • @cocainegame95
    @cocainegame95 5 років тому +932

    I raise my eyebrows to pretend I'm listening...

    • @andreas.9175
      @andreas.9175 5 років тому +95

      3:57 Or you can just pluck your eyebrows so it looks like you're always super engaged and listening.

    • @royal9517
      @royal9517 5 років тому +8

      @@andreas.9175 Lmao !!

    • @werightnow
      @werightnow 5 років тому +19

      Be fake....is what this gals sayin

    • @reddhawt2378
      @reddhawt2378 5 років тому +22

      And then my energy depleats from exerting it on being fake. Unless I am genuinely interested 😊

    • @latonyadundas7917
      @latonyadundas7917 5 років тому

      😁😁

  • @brose-bg3ks
    @brose-bg3ks 3 роки тому +50

    Me, finally walks up to my crush:
    Me: “Hey, how are you?”
    Him: “Great! I just asked my crush out and she said ‘yes’.”
    Me: “that’s great...🙃

    • @Financefarmers
      @Financefarmers 3 роки тому +1

      ua-cam.com/video/Rb1sBRpoGF4/v-deo.html
      Subscribe and support plzzzz

    • @socb5642
      @socb5642 3 роки тому +2

      😂😂😂😂😂😞😞😞

  • @andresdreier8289
    @andresdreier8289 2 роки тому +1

    Hello, how are you? I'm Andy. I was a very shy person. These techniques really work and have helped me to start conversations with others. Thank you so much.

  • @MichaelSmith-rb2yb
    @MichaelSmith-rb2yb 2 роки тому

    Thanks, I probably learned more about approaching and talking to people from my marketing director than anyone else, but this really helps. I will check out more of your videos in the future.

  • @dogan6070
    @dogan6070 5 років тому +113

    I start talking to random people. After a few mins. I run out of words. I just fart to get the conversion more interesting.

  • @DEVIL3333333
    @DEVIL3333333 8 років тому +12

    Vanessa, I just gotta say, you absolutely nailed this one, this video is absolutely amazing and invaluable, I've read so much psychology and pickup material and they all touch upon little bits and bobs but you read one book to only get 1 point that really matters out of all of the main essential ones you mentioned. Thank You so much! and Keep doing what you are doing as this is amazing.

  • @ebutuoy6701
    @ebutuoy6701 2 роки тому

    Everything you said makes perfect sense! If only I was able (or willing) to do it… 😅 thank you for all these great tips.

  • @andrewpoole160
    @andrewpoole160 3 роки тому

    Thanks so much for guidance to those of us who are shy / introverts. I shall order your book now because I NEED HELP. Best wishes

  • @d.e.t4147
    @d.e.t4147 5 років тому +5

    I was a bartender for years in a former life and I feel working in the night life industry really taught me a lot about how to communicate with, and read people.
    Most, if not all, of what I learned is intuition so learning some science backed skills is very helpful.
    Thank you.

  • @DragnBludthrsty
    @DragnBludthrsty 5 років тому +11

    Ending conversations politely has always been tricky; thanks for the tip.

  • @ericlawrence4716
    @ericlawrence4716 2 роки тому

    Great advice Vanessa, I am using a few of those tips. Thank you for the valuable content found in all of your interviews. You are making a difference, Keep up the great work!

  • @USMC_BABE38
    @USMC_BABE38 2 роки тому

    This is so helpful especially when I suffer from social anxiety and I struggle to be able to talk to others without anxiety in my voice

  • @milestrombley1466
    @milestrombley1466 5 років тому +34

    Having a mindset of knowing what you want to talk about is good.

  • @karanchoudhury3935
    @karanchoudhury3935 4 роки тому +326

    Someone: Hey, how are you?
    Me: Alive Unfortunately.

    • @Wavy_blade
      @Wavy_blade 4 роки тому +9

      Kwaisy :D you sound like an interesting person to talk to

    • @oxforddictonary
      @oxforddictonary 4 роки тому +6

      Legit. Depression makes me not wanna talk to anyone period. Just let me do my job and go home at 5 pm. Pllllleeeeease. #SmallTalkIsPainful

    • @rickybobby9840
      @rickybobby9840 4 роки тому +1

      😂😂😂

    • @areusi2221
      @areusi2221 4 роки тому +1

      Relatable

    • @ketodiet5766
      @ketodiet5766 4 роки тому +1

      Damn

  • @3lli3174
    @3lli3174 2 роки тому

    Found out about you recently and I am hooked!! I love that you call yourself a recovering awkward person because that is exactly where I am thanks to your videos. I can't wait to get your new book

  • @deanjohnson6722
    @deanjohnson6722 2 роки тому

    Good morning, Vanessa. I’ve just bought, and am half way through “Cues.” I’m loving it. I saw you on “ The School of Greatness”, and immediately sent for your book. Thank you for writing it. It’s very helpful. I am a new widow ( almost two years), and these cues are very helpful for getting out. I’m on the road to enjoying life again.

    • @ScienceOfPeople
      @ScienceOfPeople  2 роки тому

      I'm so glad you're here, thank you so much for the support, & I'm so glad to hear the book helped in some way! =) to your success

  • @jordonschneider8777
    @jordonschneider8777 5 років тому +209

    How to Talk to Anyone with Ease and Confidence
    Step 1- walk up to anyone and make noises with your mouth
    Step 2- repeat step 1

  • @Ya_0_-x
    @Ya_0_-x 4 роки тому +542

    Me sees cute girl at party:
    Me: How dress are you cute?

    • @Max-fx5fs
      @Max-fx5fs 4 роки тому +62

      LMAOOOOO bro I would have to restart the conversation and walk back like I'm a whole different person

    • @kevingalang9831
      @kevingalang9831 4 роки тому +31

      Do have your stupid

    • @billiexxxmelanie2773
      @billiexxxmelanie2773 4 роки тому +16

      @@kevingalang9831 u do not smartness? yes thanks

    • @getcomfortable3373
      @getcomfortable3373 4 роки тому +14

      That would be perfect 👌🏻 that way when you go to restart the conversation you’ve built that relaxed atmosphere. Instantly get someone laughing is the best start 😊 I would love that!

    • @leowong2613
      @leowong2613 4 роки тому +14

      He is speaking the language of gods

  • @arinolaokusi9617
    @arinolaokusi9617 2 роки тому

    Thanks for this Vanessa. You're the first vlogger I think of whenever k have a presentation and I'm nervous about it. I had a virtual presentation last week that got me really nervous. I came running to your video - something on giving the best presentation - and I acedddddddd the presentation. Thanks Vanessa.

  • @feliciagrinie
    @feliciagrinie 5 місяців тому

    I just found this channel/person today and I'm so excited about what and how much I can learn from this amazing woman!

    • @ScienceOfPeople
      @ScienceOfPeople  5 місяців тому

      Welcome! I'm so excited you found me ❤

  • @Yellow-Rose
    @Yellow-Rose 7 років тому +9

    good stuff, vanessa! this would help people who are awkward but don't mean to be. my brother is so painfully shy, so he would benefit from this. thanks.

  • @troutt99
    @troutt99 6 років тому +10

    I love people and I love the science of people. I really love listening to you, Vanessa Van Edwards! You are helping me to be the best version of myself.

  • @jorgecontre6050
    @jorgecontre6050 3 роки тому

    I love to talk and i am working so hard to speak fluid. I like you advice, suggest and technique to have a good and interesting conversation.

  • @rosanocillio4577
    @rosanocillio4577 3 роки тому

    Thank you ms..Vanessa...you enlighten my world...😘

  • @boludo1818
    @boludo1818 5 років тому +3

    Great advice! Love your approach to conversation starters. Simple, rational, and easy going! Thanks

  • @joliosalinas761
    @joliosalinas761 5 років тому +10

    3:28 even the fly liked her when she said " Hi how are you " lol

  • @soyouthinkyoucan...9361
    @soyouthinkyoucan...9361 2 роки тому

    I found this video to see what I can improve on but I actually do exactly what she says . I have natural have good conversational skills.

  • @Maiiizz
    @Maiiizz 2 роки тому +4

    I can finally talk to my family thank you so much for teaching me

  • @chiaram1048
    @chiaram1048 4 роки тому +251

    I always feel like I'm the worst at conversations lol

    • @raxitlakhatariya5915
      @raxitlakhatariya5915 3 роки тому +10

      hello how are you

    • @raxitlakhatariya5915
      @raxitlakhatariya5915 3 роки тому +24

      Now i get it u dont even reply my how r u,
      U must be very bad at conversation XD😄

    • @orlandofranconovesterasjr.5548
      @orlandofranconovesterasjr.5548 3 роки тому +16

      Because that's the pattern that you saw, what other people made you felt and especially from your parents growing up. Break the pattern and love yourself, you are great and what ever you have to say and think is unique and every one will appreciate what you say.
      It starts with loving yourself, accepting and knowing that you are overall great. Then eventually you'll love yourself more to improve everything about how you communicate.
      What this video is missing is that you need to trully love and respect yourself in order to have great conversations with other people. The negative conversations you have yourself and the thoughts you have in your head is what's stopping you from having awesome and freeflowing conversations with people.

    • @naveene.c.5894
      @naveene.c.5894 3 роки тому +2

      Would you like to practice English with me pls

    • @raxitlakhatariya5915
      @raxitlakhatariya5915 3 роки тому

      @@naveene.c.5894 download buddytalk and talk with thousands of people in english

  • @michaelmota4602
    @michaelmota4602 4 роки тому +3

    *with a smile* "Hey, what's up?" or "Hey, how's it going?". Keeping it simple with a smile and confidence is 100% the best approach.

  • @asimwaqar9190
    @asimwaqar9190 3 роки тому +2

    IT Was just The loveliest way for an excellent conversation with any one in the world

  • @ephraimrubongoya5458
    @ephraimrubongoya5458 3 роки тому +1

    This video is a gem!!! I already feel like a conversation master.
    Thank you Vanessa!!

  • @deborahrippe5641
    @deborahrippe5641 5 років тому +4

    I love this!!! I’ve always considered myself an extroverted introvert because I’m fine in small groups or at work but throw me in a big group of people and I have a hard time navigating. Great tips!

    • @lextor4712
      @lextor4712 5 років тому

      you're probably an ambivert.

  • @AtacamaHumanoid
    @AtacamaHumanoid 5 років тому +4

    Good tips and would work with inlaws and business / networking functions pretty well where conversation is mostly nothingness and you need effective tricks to not stumble over the awkwardness. Occasionally, those nothing conversations at lame events get surprisingly interesting and make the event a lot more fun, so I'm sure steering into the conversation is the most important part. Steering out of the conversation, I don't generally care about, lol.

  • @b-borg8942
    @b-borg8942 3 роки тому +1

    Hi, @Vanessa Van Edwards, and everyone for sure!
    Thank you so much for these awesome videos. Those tips look just so great then I will use them as much as I could for the rest of my life.

  • @harishravishankar
    @harishravishankar 2 роки тому

    Best video ever. I used to just say best wishes and good morning etc to passerbyes. Let me see how it works in my life :) Thanks.

  • @Meechl
    @Meechl 7 років тому +97

    WOW! I'm terrible with job interviews and this video has come at the right time for me. I'm going to take your free course on personal development and influence, because it's just what I need.

    • @jameshofheins4612
      @jameshofheins4612 7 років тому +18

      How did it go?

    • @th3p00r5
      @th3p00r5 6 років тому +2

      Meechl < same here. I still can't answer "what is your strength?"

  • @Yosh808
    @Yosh808 6 років тому +6

    Awesome advice! You dont know how much people tell me: "Just go and talk to people itll happen naturally" Prepping a gameplan is exactly what i needed.

  • @cristopherperalta
    @cristopherperalta 2 роки тому

    She did wonderful explaining everything. So useful!

  • @punithck615
    @punithck615 3 роки тому

    I like this conversations and tips. Here the talk and tips are clear and easy to understand.
    Conversion is well focused on the topic.

  • @Es16432
    @Es16432 4 роки тому +6

    summery: before Event set a Goal, Approach Person openly with a smile, "Hi, how are you?" find a common interest that creates spark (Person raises brows).
    to end conversation: ask About future Events, wish them luck doing that

  • @John-zh6ld
    @John-zh6ld 4 роки тому +3

    Great stuff. I always look them in the eye, point my heart at them, hands open, smile and waive, Hi I'm John, what's going on? Super easy going.

  • @mehedihasanmahi9134
    @mehedihasanmahi9134 3 роки тому

    This is one of the best advices that I ever got about having conversations