Uncovering The Racism in Our School and Church | {THE AND} Evan & Melissa

Поділитися
Вставка
  • Опубліковано 4 лис 2024
  • Have more meaningful conversations with {THE AND} relationship card game: www.theskindeep...
    Son and mother Evan (he/him) and Melissa (she/her) have a poignant conversation about Evan's adoption and how it impacted their family and lives. Evan opens up about the racism he faced in school, while Melissa discusses how she viewed the small town she grew up in, her church, and the bible differently after the racism and judgement the family endured.
    We'd like to thank Evan and Melissa for participating openly & vulnerably in our project. We appreciate what they've shared with us and hope you do as well.
    Get you digital dose of humanity by signing up for our newsletter and joining our community: www.theskindeep...
    The Skin Deep | www.theskindeep...
    Shop The Skin Deep Products | shop.theskinde...
    UA-cam | / theskindeep
    Instagram | / the_skindeep
    Facebook | / theskindeep
    Twitter | / the_skindeep
    Pinterest | / _shop
    US Illuminated Podcast | www.theskindee...
    EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR | Topaz Adizes
    DIRECTOR | Nick D'Agostino
    CAMERAS | Dane Benko, Ashika Kuruvilla, Nick D'Agostino
    AUDIO | Tate A. Baltzly
    PRODUCER | Nick D'Agostino
    ASSOCIATE PRODUCERS | Aaron Talib
    SPECIAL THANKS | Secrest Auditorium, Red Rose Tattoo, Billy White, Kaylee Bash
    WITH THE PARTICIPATION OF | Evan & Melissa
    Uncovering The Racism in Our School and Church | {THE AND} Evan & Melissa
    #TheSkinDeep #Adoption #Family
  • Розваги

КОМЕНТАРІ • 449

  • @starbag6345
    @starbag6345 3 роки тому +499

    Melissa LOVES her son so much. I'm a 33 year old black man and this made me cry. So beautiful. This young man must heal and be a warrior

    • @courtneytomlinson2964
      @courtneytomlinson2964 3 роки тому +15

      You too!!!!! So much love and healing being sent to you King

    • @itsojerald
      @itsojerald 3 роки тому +5

      I 👍🏽 agree!!!

    • @ahriahnamoon6237
      @ahriahnamoon6237 3 роки тому +4

      Im crying too

    • @arlenelowe01
      @arlenelowe01 3 роки тому +3

      ❤️

    • @KAIZORIANEMPIRE
      @KAIZORIANEMPIRE 3 роки тому

      lol what's so brave about growing up with a parent in america? with good health?
      you want brave? surviving multiple grape in a war torn country lol, this idea that
      simply being human makes you brave looooooooool,

  • @Hanna4645
    @Hanna4645 3 роки тому +371

    The way she said "How do YOU feel" hit different. Parents usually ignore child's feelings. Good job

  • @stephanieshelton5813
    @stephanieshelton5813 3 роки тому +501

    See she's not just an adopted mom she's a mom period. See how she started crying immediately about the question " what experience you wish I never had" that was a mom respond, that's how most of us mom would respond to that question ❤

    • @celiaedwards93
      @celiaedwards93 3 роки тому +16

      Yes, she’s a beautiful Mommy.

    • @aprilallen2601
      @aprilallen2601 3 роки тому +8

      She definitely is just a mom loving her child. She would obviously jump in front of anything coming for him. This made me tear up.

    • @bf1822
      @bf1822 3 роки тому +8

      Yes she's a nice mother, but the reality is he will face things that he will not be prepared for living in her world. He will be blindsided, because this country judge you on the color of your skin. Period. I hate that people hate. It's not fair..

    • @diepiriye
      @diepiriye 3 роки тому +11

      OK! I caught that, too. Plus, each time he presents a problem, she asks how he feels, rather than trying to solve it for him, as in rescue him. That reflects a much more mature form of parenting....not entertaining the drama triangle. Awesome.

    • @jahmani7038
      @jahmani7038 3 роки тому +7

      A parent has to be in control of their emotion to go through such a process. This woman is an exceptional woman and parent, with a high level of intelligence/ emotional intelligence and empathy. I believe that all parents, not just those with adopted kids could benefit from a similar kind of sit down and have a deep non-judgemental conversation with their child/children.

  • @TheMckinsons
    @TheMckinsons 3 роки тому +499

    This is what love looks like...and she was able to acknowledge all the trauma he went through and wants to take all his pain away and work through it with him. Just incredible.

    • @sonquatsch8585
      @sonquatsch8585 3 роки тому +2

      white christians are going to be the ones who realize the betterment of race relations in the US is their struggle. among white christians i have been observing more grass roots race relations improvement, than among so-called liberal whites...white christians nowadays are having these conversations in their white communities, white churches and within their white families...liberal whites are just social warring.

    • @Grace1708
      @Grace1708 3 роки тому +8

      @@sonquatsch8585 Idk...she did say that she left her church because of how racist it was...

    • @sonquatsch8585
      @sonquatsch8585 3 роки тому +2

      @@Grace1708 she left her church not her faith.

    • @elizabethcobbins5631
      @elizabethcobbins5631 3 роки тому +4

      @@sonquatsch8585 White Christians can also be liberal… it’s about racism in general. Any white person can be racist. Said white liberal can be liberal in the name of feminism, but not race. They can be liberal in LGBT rights but not race. I have black family members who are apart of the LGBT community who say white LGBT people are so racist against black LGBT people …but those white people identify as “liberal”.

    • @Inga912
      @Inga912 3 роки тому +2

      @@sonquatsch8585 The fight for racial justice and equality looks differently depending on who is advocating. To bash one group doing work is not productive. All issues need to be worked on from different angles. Also, Christianity isn’t the only religion that is working towards the issue. Just because you don’t see it first hand doesn’t mean it does not exist. I encourage you to be open to different viewpoints.

  • @HappinessTheBrand
    @HappinessTheBrand 3 роки тому +367

    Damn when he talked about his friend not having a mom that could stand up for him...it hurts when your friend is down & you can't take away their pain. That's yo mans.

    • @celiaedwards93
      @celiaedwards93 3 роки тому +7

      He’s going to a great man because of his Mom.

    • @92Kandee
      @92Kandee 3 роки тому +22

      He didn't say his friend didn't have a mom; but rather the family was afraid to step up like his mother did since they had different skin colour. She was able to confront the school board bc she's white...

    • @ultimatesportsmedicine4395
      @ultimatesportsmedicine4395 3 роки тому +6

      @@92Kandee He didn't say in his comment that his friend was motherless

    • @92Kandee
      @92Kandee 3 роки тому +2

      @@ultimatesportsmedicine4395 that's what I said...

  • @brandiwine4urmind
    @brandiwine4urmind 3 роки тому +277

    Wow. They both have me teared up because they're both experiencing the ugliness of racism but from different POVs... yet the frustration and hurt is real to them both.

  • @JW-1089
    @JW-1089 3 роки тому +301

    As a black 30+ yr old man I salute any white individual who has a heart of gold that has done what Melissa did for this brother.

    • @SaraiPrayer
      @SaraiPrayer 3 роки тому +8

      Definitely a heart of gold ! 🔥❤️

  • @watchingwatcher5821
    @watchingwatcher5821 3 роки тому +224

    Also, Evan - I hear you on the not fitting in because you present differently to some of your fellow black peers but as time goes on, the more of the world you get to see and experienced you get to have, I promise you you will find people who accept you just as you are which is a brilliant, insightful, kind person.

    • @pretaporterp
      @pretaporterp 3 роки тому +13

      Yes, the world is so much bigger than his small, narrow minded town. He will go on to great things!

    • @TheMAMAB123
      @TheMAMAB123 3 роки тому +10

      This is soooo true! You eventually find your own village of people that love you as you are. ♥️♥️♥️

    • @eternallyrising1673
      @eternallyrising1673 3 роки тому +5

      THIS. 🖤

    • @heavenlybeautee
      @heavenlybeautee 3 роки тому +1

      PERIOD 💖

    • @kidart1763
      @kidart1763 3 роки тому +3

      This is also why representation in the media is sooo crucial. Black folks have been pigeonholed to fit into certain marketable boxes (aka negative stereotypes) in a white-centric world, since we have been allowed to be on-screen. For so long we have been taught that our value as musicians, rappers, artists of most any medium, solely depend on how well we can present as ghetto, thuggish, violent, hyper-masculine. Children are impressionable, and when Black kids see this provincial lens of existence, they often feel compelled to follow suit. Of course there are outliers, and the circumstances vary family to family and respectively, child to child, but it can be extremely easy to feel and be alienated as a Black kid who doesn't fit the mold. ESPECIALLY in a small town. Where I grew up, the few Black kids in my school were fighting for constant approval and threw themselves into a world of tokenization for the sake of acceptance. And I don't blame them -- its a mechanism for survival. I just couldn't do it. For me, though, it actually DID get better when I got to college -- there was a whole plethora of beautiful people from communities all over the world. A lot of my Black friends I've made in adulthood feels the same. We are now fulfilled by our likeminded kin (and it turns out, a lot of the Black kids who had different responses to those attributions of stereotypes as kids, realized they hated it and I am friends with lots of them today!) I hope things get better for this insightful young man -- I have a feeling they will. Much love to everyone xx

  • @keilah4039
    @keilah4039 3 роки тому +189

    There is something to be said for how, as Evan speaks about his experience of racism, a tear flows from his eye without any other bodily indication or a bit of interruption in his spech that he is moved emotionally. Such a poignant moment.

  • @kedronmarsh1773
    @kedronmarsh1773 3 роки тому +108

    Now this is a mother… some of us were raised with our birth parents and don’t receive this kind of love. ❤️ my mom loved me in her own way…. But not the way I needed to be loved. Never acknowledging my feelings or concerns and now she doesn’t understand our rift. Cherish this mother.

    • @maryonngrace5604
      @maryonngrace5604 3 роки тому +4

      I have no words. You simply said what was on my heart.

    • @YaYa-zm3wu
      @YaYa-zm3wu 3 роки тому +4

      Awww, I'm sorry guys. I hope you can move beyond that missing puzzle piece and find something to fill the gap...prayer works for me...hugs too, so here are hugs for you 🤗🤗🤗

    • @Noelle55520
      @Noelle55520 3 роки тому +3

      This is such a powerful realization! I find myself admitting this about my own experience, I’m doing everything I can to allow my children to express themselves. I want them to know their feelings are not minute, that they are valid and I will take them in with an open heart.

  • @daciadrummond1982
    @daciadrummond1982 3 роки тому +144

    Melissa is a great mom. You can tell she is the kind of parent who will do whatever it takes to protect her babies. Evan seems wise beyond his years. Sidenote: Thank you for giving me a new way to look at "ILY".

  • @lizmokosso6163
    @lizmokosso6163 3 роки тому +75

    I am a black woman who really appreciated this video. We need more of this.

  • @Miselayneous
    @Miselayneous 3 роки тому +117

    “It doesn’t get worse, but it doesn’t get better.” There are NO words!

    • @1977rainDUB
      @1977rainDUB 3 роки тому +8

      Yeah. That hit me.

    • @HAVFAITH75
      @HAVFAITH75 3 роки тому +9

      That statement hit straight to my heart! 😢

    • @beesknees213
      @beesknees213 3 роки тому +6

      Dang....his response was DEEP!!

    • @zamalindaxulu9554
      @zamalindaxulu9554 3 роки тому +6

      That got me in my inmost being, the truth and depth of it🥺

    • @QueenyKay
      @QueenyKay 3 роки тому +1

      @@zamalindaxulu9554 Evan is extremely introspective which is a rare quality for a young man his age even if I have no idea how old he is.

  • @Grace1708
    @Grace1708 3 роки тому +153

    Transracial adoption trauma is real. My heart breaks for adopted black children who have to grow up in these racist white communities. I'm glad the mom is protective and stands up for him and I like that she is open to learning. They have a beautiful bond and way of communicating and it's clear that he trusts her with his feelings. I hope he will find community and meet mentors who can relate to his experience. He seems like a wonderful young man.

    • @dixiematias3130
      @dixiematias3130 3 роки тому +2

      Why should your heart break,when children are adopted it should never be about the color of their skin.But who will love and take care of them shaping them into good people.And black communities and people can be just as racist

    • @jessii7642
      @jessii7642 3 роки тому +26

      @@dixiematias3130 white people will never experience the type of racism that black people have experienced for thousands of years. It's 2021 and we still have white people treating black people awfully. You will never begin to understand the trauma that comes with being black.

    • @sbfairy
      @sbfairy 3 роки тому +17

      @@dixiematias3130 It always has and always will be about the color of your skin. It shouldn't be but it is and to think otherwise is niave. When you grow up in a black family you are surrounded by people who share the experience of racism with you and can try to prepare you and commiserate with you. I'll never forget being called the "n" word and crying to mom about it. The way she held me and spoke to me, it made me seen in a way I can't describe. It gave me the strength. It's clear that they love each other and she cares about his feelings. However, I suspect that when she talked about him hiding his light it was really him being fearful to really express to her the anger and fear he felt for fear she wouldn't understand or downplay the situation. Not sure what racism in black communities has to do with the op's comment though.

    • @DeborahWalkerXOXO
      @DeborahWalkerXOXO 3 роки тому +12

      This is what truly loving your child will do. She didn't pretend what he was experiencing was minor. She didn't "cry" about black people "being racist". She saw her babies in pain and said no way.
      I'm sorry for her discovering that the wonderful picture she had in her mind of her community wasn't real. That has to be traumatic. The goodness and kindness she thought was in the hearts of her friends or family was conditional on race. That must have been shocking.

    • @anotherone6939
      @anotherone6939 3 роки тому +12

      To DM and MM,
      Black people can be prejudiced,bigoted but not racist. A racist believes their race is superior i.e. whites

  • @yukari15788
    @yukari15788 3 роки тому +118

    I love how she goes beyond the given questions to have a deeper conversation with her son. They are so open with each other despite the painful experiences They had to share, even if from so different positions. It's a beautiful episode

  • @Random_Thoughtss
    @Random_Thoughtss 3 роки тому +174

    Can you guys do a black parent adopting a white child and the experiences they face. It would be interesting to see the responses and perspective of that dynamic.

    • @YT4Me57
      @YT4Me57 3 роки тому +14

      My mother had a cousin (she'd be over 100 now if she were still with us) who along with her husband, adopted several children after their biological son grew up. One was a white child named, James. I was very young at the time and didn't realize how unusual that was for an African American family back in the early 1960s. I just knew that he was well loved and loved his mom and dad fiercely.

    • @joycomesinthemorning6721
      @joycomesinthemorning6721 3 роки тому +2

      My family has adopted many white children and is have to say the experiences aren’t anything like black child in white homes !!! It’s not a big issue that’s why nobody’s talking about it we aren’t a racist people period!

    • @cbee402
      @cbee402 2 роки тому +4

      @@joycomesinthemorning6721 maybe where you live its not a big issue but everywhere else, it's MASSIVE! do not dismiss simply because you have not experienced.

  • @frugalpixielifestyle2882
    @frugalpixielifestyle2882 3 роки тому +145

    @The Skin Deep, I absolutely commend you guys for the work you do: the incredible relationships, lives and stories you share and document, through the power of quality conversation and questions.
    This really moved me. It's difficult to 'not see' the pain and depth of emotion behind young Evans eyes. There's a lot going on there that needs to be processed. I just wanted to hug him tight and reassure him. I can only begin to imagine, what that whole experience was like for him being so young. Sounds like mum, Melissa, had a raw and rude awakening to the reality of racism and its insidious nature, that so many still have to endure, daily. I commend her actions in standing up to it (as we ALL should) and doing what was right for her family. Racism is a vile disease.
    As a mother to two young boys, I know first-hand, how important, precious and special the love and bond between mother and son is. Their pain is yours, and there is NOTHING that as a real, loving mother (biological or not), you would not do, to protect them. Another great example of Love knowing no bounds.

  • @lorealkids1989
    @lorealkids1989 3 роки тому +50

    This made me think of Randals experience on This Is Us.

  • @sinenhlanhla9339
    @sinenhlanhla9339 3 роки тому +19

    "The way I know God loves me is because of you".

  • @lauriethomas4145
    @lauriethomas4145 3 роки тому +55

    This is so painful but necessary.

  • @demetriusbrown5542
    @demetriusbrown5542 3 роки тому +56

    This is one of my favorites.

    • @MsKylea
      @MsKylea 3 роки тому +1

      This IS my favorite.

  • @pepperadish3695
    @pepperadish3695 3 роки тому +57

    You’re both beautiful and inspiring. Quick story: I grew up in Midtown Atlanta in a predominantly black school. I remember a student who was literally from Africa being bullied because they “sounded white” Life can be so brutal but it does get better.
    There are plenty of people of color who will love and respect you for you. White, black, brown, or whatever, we all deserve love.
    ILY’all

    • @OTnerd7
      @OTnerd7 3 роки тому +3

      Thank you good human!

  • @1ElegantLady4Realz
    @1ElegantLady4Realz 3 роки тому +17

    💔 “It doesn’t get worse & it doesn’t get better”

  • @rashondadani
    @rashondadani 3 роки тому +19

    She’s a MOM! Like a MOM, standing firm on ABBA. I’m in awe🤍

  • @ZestyZinny
    @ZestyZinny 3 роки тому +62

    This was honestly tough to watch because this baby shouldn't have to experience this... it makes me so sad and disappointed in the human race

    • @macummings7818
      @macummings7818 3 роки тому +4

      Exactly. Exactly - this childhood trauma should be avoided, in my view. It's just not necessary.

  • @Gigglesxhx
    @Gigglesxhx 3 роки тому +88

    'Being a parent is like having your heart walking around outside of your body unprotected' I've never heard truer words! 🥲

  • @baytate8612
    @baytate8612 3 роки тому +40

    This was so raw and so beautiful. It hit me so hard when he said that it doesn't get any worse but it doesn't get any better. And her quick and quiet reaction showed how deeply she loves her son and how much that she hurts for him that that is his experience. This was one of the best ones yet

  • @salisbkr
    @salisbkr 3 роки тому +38

    Your son reminds me so much of my son and his similar experiences at a majority all white school. I thought everything would be fine but it wasn’t and we had to move so he could mentally survive. I love seeing the love between you guys as strong as any mom and son.

  • @samk.970
    @samk.970 3 роки тому +33

    She is so wisdom-full, boldly vulnerable and full of love. It clearly reflects on him that he became so authentic in her love. He will always feel comfortable in his skin, no matter what the negativity. More blessings and joy!

  • @silvanylacroes1339
    @silvanylacroes1339 3 роки тому +40

    You are lovely and you belong. Don't let anybody keep you silent. Shine as bright as you can as the star that you are. Do Not Fear young king.👑❤

  • @itsojerald
    @itsojerald 3 роки тому +41

    Omg omg. I couldn't find my tissues box because I couldn't see. And I was full of a mess! This is the most heart felt and beautiful people I've had to watch and listen to. Bless the family, bless their love, bless all the life that could continue with more support and protect each other. Kudos to the family and Skin Deep for showing and sharing. !!!! Much ❤️ Love to all.

  • @dk3xyz
    @dk3xyz 3 роки тому +44

    I am speechless and deeply touched. This is a powerful conversation everyone needs to hear. Love is Love ❤️
    This is why I support the {THE AND}!

  • @klacier5111
    @klacier5111 3 роки тому +42

    Oh wow. This. This is amazing. Way to go mom…don’t come for her kid. The open questions that she asks are amazing. Such an open mind and heart is beautiful. It’s obvious he can communicate openly with her. Safe space.

  • @TheFashionChase
    @TheFashionChase 3 роки тому +30

    We Stan Evan and sincerely apologize for hurt from our community. We sometimes don’t know how to accept differences or understand multi racial families. I vow to be better for those around me! I pray that is gets better and beyond your wildest dreams. Hope you have peace and joy and that pain is left in the distance

  • @a.smiles2789
    @a.smiles2789 3 роки тому +24

    The mom is so good at asking questions. I wish she was my mom

  • @bebaptiste4064
    @bebaptiste4064 3 роки тому +10

    Im glad you did it for you son. Mom can I ask you to reach-out to the family of your son's friend, whom he loves and wants to have the same relief he's found because of your intervention in the school's racist treatment on him..It seems to me, they can do with some support to take on the school's stance on RACISM, to make it a safe space for their son (your sons friend) and other minority children. Wishing your family Blessings 🙏🏾

  • @erinp.1456
    @erinp.1456 3 роки тому +8

    “It doesn’t get worse, but it doesn’t get better” 😭😭😭😭 omg that’s SO sad!! That poor baby!

    • @easton838
      @easton838 3 роки тому +3

      Many people that look like him feel the same. As a parent do you know how hard it is to be strong for your child his entire life because you know it will never get better or easier. in a way we feel that it should. Am 50 years old and life for people who looks like me is tougher than most because of my skin. School loans,mortgages, hospital bills,etc are more because of our skin..And people some people feel I don't have a right to be upset. Not one caucasian person would walk in our shoes..

    • @bf1822
      @bf1822 3 роки тому +1

      @@easton838 I understand you 100% and that's the sad part about it. That's why I moved to Ghana and I could never be happier. Great country. Great people..

    • @easton838
      @easton838 3 роки тому

      @@bf1822 I never thought about moving out of the country.

    • @bf1822
      @bf1822 3 роки тому

      @@easton838 2019 was the year of return for Black diaspora to Ghana. The most beautiful event. Check it out on UA-cam African tours to Ghana and other African countries..Peace and Love..

    • @j.baldwinwasagenius...7575
      @j.baldwinwasagenius...7575 3 роки тому

      It's truly a sad, sad sentiment.

  • @kirstenglae
    @kirstenglae 3 роки тому +10

    I just want to give him the biggest hug ever. What a beautiful and brave kid. I can tell his Mom wants so badly to make things all better for him, but knows she can’t 100%. That is so hard when you truly love your children, you just want them to be happy.

  • @1saramak
    @1saramak 3 роки тому +16

    I just want to hug them both. What a sweet and strong young man

  • @albertok5431
    @albertok5431 3 роки тому +9

    When she start to cry I started to cry too. How can a mother have such a beautiful loving heart? And while in Germany being thousands of miles away, the racism they talk about is no different. If everybody had a heart like her we would also have the best environment for every soul the world over.

  • @dorcuslee4188
    @dorcuslee4188 3 роки тому +5

    The MOST honest Conversation I've Ever Seen between a Parent and Child. LOVE... JUST LOVE

  • @0427rjc
    @0427rjc 3 роки тому +9

    To hear her talk about how she had to overcome the people of her town and how it made her question her religion. That’s deep.

  • @dollcrazy300
    @dollcrazy300 3 роки тому +9

    Whatever problems he may have had in his life with racism, he’s loved in the most unconditional way possible on this earth. I don’t believe most people ever experience that.
    I didn’t either until I met my spiritual teacher. Even though my poverty stricken single mom was committed to me and my siblings and did everything in her power to give us the best life possible, I never had a clue as to what love actually felt like.
    I would consciously say to myself as a child, “I know my mom loves me but what does love actually FEEL like?”
    With over 20 years of dedication to my emotional and spiritual healing, my psychologically educated spiritual teacher finally gave me that experience.
    I can tell you that from one traumatic experience after another, life is a totally different place if you have internalized someone’s true love on the deepest part of your being. You can deal with the messes of life soo much better!
    We wonder why there is so much violence among young people in some American communities, specifically poor and AA communities. That’s because those children never felt loved and valued. Their parents never felt loved and valued. Their grandparents never felt loved and valued. Their great grandparents never felt loved and valued.
    Why? Because their enslaved ancestors were not allowed to show love or protect their own offspring nor “spouses.” They certainly weren’t loved by their slave owners either. Add millions of guns to a situation like that and death and mayhem are the natural results.
    That’s why we as a country have to look at our past of slavery straight in the face, be honest about it, rebuke it; do everything we can to “atone” for it so we can all finally forgive it and leave it in the past.
    But today there are still way too many suffering souls resulting from those traumatic and unloving remnants of that period in our history-both white and black; the people who hate and fear others and the people who hate and fear themselves!

  • @raindrops1942
    @raindrops1942 3 роки тому +66

    A white mom being judged and treated different for having a black son…
    She is such a blessing.
    I can only imagine the horror of the AA families living in that small town…

    • @jamelewiggins7683
      @jamelewiggins7683 3 роки тому +11

      I belong to a group on social media that has addressed the subject of racism in small towns. Some non-Black parents have asked advice on raising Black children. One of the first responses is for the parent to MOVE away from the small town. This story reminds me of the many discussions of the "small town phenomenon" in regards to black adopted children.

    • @niecylanae33
      @niecylanae33 3 роки тому +9

      @@jamelewiggins7683 it’s so sad. I felt Melissa when she said she wanted to stay and fight through it but her motherly love didn’t want anything happening to her child. I am glad she was honest about the awakening that came with all of that.

  • @elledumble
    @elledumble 3 роки тому +7

    She's a great mother! This is what a parent should be like 💞

  • @D_A_Marv
    @D_A_Marv 3 роки тому +15

    Okay, when mom started tearing up, I grabbed a tissue, but when he shed that one lonely tear without any other emotion, I had to rewatch because I lost it. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 mom and son. Great episode

  • @TheBLACKKING25
    @TheBLACKKING25 3 роки тому +18

    God bless this incredible woman!
    Humanity at its finest 👌🏾👏🏾

  • @YaYa-zm3wu
    @YaYa-zm3wu 3 роки тому +6

    Acknowledging a pain you can never feel is one of the most loving acts that a person can do... that's real parenting and I'm glad his parents paid attention...

  • @dral22
    @dral22 3 роки тому +5

    That woman "Queen" is such a pure soul, my gosh 😓😭, I was in happy tears throughout the video. Power to Pro-humanity 👑✊🏾

  • @cestmoi5702
    @cestmoi5702 3 роки тому +12

    Beautiful Black Boy, Wise Young Prince, thank you for deepening my understanding of the word FAMILY ! The last three letters really does mean I LOVE YOU!! Thank you !!
    And don’t worry about people saying you do not fit!! You’re exactly perfect. You’re wise, loving and uniquely and beautifully made.
    And momma, thank you for the lionnes in you!!

  • @andybellamy899
    @andybellamy899 3 роки тому +17

    In my honest opinion, I learn, appreciate and value all of your videos. I may not comment on each one but I still enjoy every one. Evan's and Melissa's courage, thoughtfulness and willingness to answer The Skin Deep's questions in (THE AND) card game, which can be unnerving sometimes, is vital to meaningful conversations that improve minds worldwide. Thank you, thank you and thank you again to your production team for your stellar content on this channel!!

  • @somerandommusicloverwv8617
    @somerandommusicloverwv8617 3 роки тому +12

    😭 beautiful. The love between a mother and their child. Nothing quite like it.

  • @Katechap20
    @Katechap20 3 роки тому +16

    How do you manage to make me cry every time?? I have actually gotten a lot more comfortable with crying since experiencing this content… it’s odd. I just feel so much faith in humanity and contentment in my human existence after watching these. I’m able to accept whatever emotions arise, and that positively translates into so many other aspects of my life. I’m currently studying film and psychology in undergrad… if you are hiring in 2023 I will for sure be applying. Having a hand in creating this would be an absolute DREAM. Hope to work with you guys in some way in the future.

  • @JuliaPedro
    @JuliaPedro 3 роки тому +8

    This was too intense! Still reeling from the emotions. The teen strikes me as an empath as his tear only rolled down at the thought of the pain his friend's experiencing. That last statement from him about his mum forever being his mum regardless evoked a sob. It was said with so much thought, love and meaning.
    If the young man or his mum sees this, I'll say look up INFJ and do a lot of reading on it. This young man strikes me as one.
    I'm in my late 30s and just realised I was INFP, 3 months ago; I finally understood why I don't fit into my society- Nigerian- and why some of my thoughts and actions are thought to be "white" even though I haven't really lived outside of Nigeria.
    I learn from other INFPs on how to cope in a world that's different; I'm also learning how to appreciate the emotional intensity of my mind and rising above my comfort zone.

  • @pinkiedlamini7298
    @pinkiedlamini7298 3 роки тому +6

    The Love here, but this kid is taking his struggles to heart heart... I hope it never makes him think it's MORE than the LOVE his MOTHER has for him and her commitment to making it all BETTER

  • @warrenbrown1221
    @warrenbrown1221 3 роки тому +6

    OMG where have I've been - I've just discovered The Skin Deep channel just now due to video. I absolutely love watching Evan and Melissa conversation, a tear or two did appear when they talked about certain question. I can't wait to watch more The Skin Deep - sending much love and respect to Evan & Melissa

  • @Noelle55520
    @Noelle55520 3 роки тому +2

    “You are wood thru and thru, but we also love your roots too!” Now that shit was amazing

  • @tiffanybanks3510
    @tiffanybanks3510 3 роки тому +11

    This has by far been my favorite one! It broke me down in so many ways.

  • @rebekah1278
    @rebekah1278 3 роки тому +12

    Where are my tissues😢😢.... Such a beautiful discussion and questions. And the openness between mother and son.. Just beautiful 💕💕💕💕

  • @thandongxonono7753
    @thandongxonono7753 3 роки тому +8

    Wow,such open communication between mom and son.You can feel the love and support.

  • @shanec9840
    @shanec9840 3 роки тому +66

    Ok...I will NEVER make stupid "light hearted" comments about interacial families again. I just didn't understand. I'm from one of those small towns she talked about.

    • @paigeparish8732
      @paigeparish8732 3 роки тому +29

      Self awareness and change is a great thing 🙏🏽

    • @memorymalunga670
      @memorymalunga670 3 роки тому +11

      Thank you for your honesty.

    • @gobstopper3041
      @gobstopper3041 3 роки тому +10

      Keep learning, baby! Be curious and open-minded. Ignorance breeds hatred!

    • @kerishatyrell1967
      @kerishatyrell1967 3 роки тому +7

      This is why you have to talk about it, so people can learn and grow.

    • @YaYa-zm3wu
      @YaYa-zm3wu 3 роки тому +5

      Thank you for taking it in and hopefully you will actually apply the lesson(s) you took from here and more than just not doing bit, don't standby and watch or listen when your friends do it, because that is a big issue in this type of behavior. Racism is really just grand scale bullying and is we watch and say "Well, I didn't do anything" you're right, you can do or say something bro stop it. One incident being stopped can change someone's life...

  • @watchingwatcher5821
    @watchingwatcher5821 3 роки тому +12

    What a special mother and son. You’ve raised a very compassionate person and he so deserves to be happy and safe. Wishing you both all the best ❤️

  • @Essenceofme
    @Essenceofme 3 роки тому +9

    This makes my heart ache and swell for this young man and this family. This was a joy to witness. Thank you for sharing your story.

  • @pattyfisher8839
    @pattyfisher8839 3 роки тому +49

    I'd love to hear the perspective of a black parent with an adopted white child

    • @jamelewiggins7683
      @jamelewiggins7683 3 роки тому +2

      There are a couple of families with that dynamic on UA-cam. I just can't remember their names! One is a single woman, 2 non-black children. Another one is a Black couple with a non-black son.

    • @MsKylea
      @MsKylea 3 роки тому

      @Miracle Motivates yes, Kimberly Holden adopted hispanic siblings.

  • @1ElegantLady4Realz
    @1ElegantLady4Realz 3 роки тому +8

    ❤️ the love they have for each other. I hope his friend & his family was able to get support to help them in whatever way they needed!

  • @tamikaqueen1203
    @tamikaqueen1203 3 роки тому +7

    This is why it is important to teach the truth in the school system. The truth for the orgin of this country. The truth of white christian religion & that it is laced in racism. God bless this mother who is standing up for her children.

  • @advocacynaccountablity
    @advocacynaccountablity 3 роки тому +2

    My heart is with this young man. His strength is apparent.

  • @robynw8223
    @robynw8223 3 роки тому +6

    wow. this hits hard. This was so emotional and beautiful. Love the transparency and I feel so sorry for the hardships this young man has had to endure. We all need to do better. He is so strong. What a beautiful family

  • @trecswagg3635
    @trecswagg3635 3 роки тому +2

    This is my new favorite episode. Thank you Melissa & Evan 💙

  • @Ki3g-u5y
    @Ki3g-u5y 3 роки тому +1

    One of my sons act and talk differently than other children his age and color and I pray that no one treats him differently now that he is in high school. He is referred to as the smart kid so they dont pick on him but if I had to go through something like this I would do the same as this mother. Fight until it was time to move own. I appreciate this young man for being open and honest with his mom. He is a beautiful being. I ask the Universe to continue to bring him Joy and Unconditional Love

  • @FredThomas1911
    @FredThomas1911 3 роки тому +2

    This conversation was AWESOME!!! I thank God for the young man and his mother. What a blessing they both are to the world.

  • @starbag6345
    @starbag6345 3 роки тому +18

    OMG I can't. This episode 😭😭😭😭

  • @Morristlm
    @Morristlm 3 роки тому +1

    I love Melissa! She saw the pain racism was causing her children and moved to protect them; as any great mother would do. Bravo!

  • @lauralambo9870
    @lauralambo9870 3 роки тому +20

    My whole heart

  • @JozelleRenia
    @JozelleRenia 3 роки тому +4

    I pray that I can make a difference in people’s lives as great as this mom is able to do for her family. What a blessing to have someone love you this much. However this young man is broken & it’s evident I pray he finds peace he’s so bright and loved! This makes me think about how important it is to be involved in a child’s life you may not know what’s going on deep down, times have changed but I feel like now a days parents are allowing the tablets to raise the kids... Definitely thankful for this content 🥺🥺✨

  • @LadyJ_Guitar-Drums
    @LadyJ_Guitar-Drums 3 роки тому +2

    I’m crying first thing in the morning! Ugh! What a great conversation! Thank you.

  • @EmEm872
    @EmEm872 3 роки тому +4

    Oh Evan, you are an incredible young man, so thoughtful and deep thinking. Melissa, what a wonderful young man you and your partner are raising. Thankyou both for opening up your hearts to us.

  • @TestorshiaTheeOne
    @TestorshiaTheeOne 3 роки тому +8

    Well, now I’m sobbing.

  • @peaceatheart101
    @peaceatheart101 3 роки тому +4

    This is such a Heartfelt, moving and loving presentation of sharing their truth. This Mother is Amazing and her love is extremely evident in her interaction with her son. Many can and should learn from their story. May God continue to Bless them in their life's journey. ❤🙏

  • @Tyme_flies
    @Tyme_flies 3 роки тому +3

    I've watched 2 hour movies that didn't make me cry/ball this much I'm a 42 year old biracial woman that grew up in Hot Springs Arkansas, so yeah this whole video touched my heart.

  • @ditebogomorare2104
    @ditebogomorare2104 3 роки тому +1

    I love the mom's openness and honesty. Beautiful.

  • @emmag8668
    @emmag8668 3 роки тому +12

    ILY so sweet

  • @dixiematias3130
    @dixiematias3130 3 роки тому +1

    Ive never cried so much,because this conversation was so real and raw.she is his mom ,the love ,the care,and the hurt she feels for her child.thats mom love

  • @MariaHeinen
    @MariaHeinen 3 роки тому +4

    Beautiful .... to have each other like this.

  • @ashleyvaughn5213
    @ashleyvaughn5213 9 місяців тому

    Having a child is like having your heart outside your body walking around. That was beautiful ❤. Maybe not for everyone but from my point of view, definitely.

  • @humbulaniyuhwl3761
    @humbulaniyuhwl3761 2 роки тому

    Wow, this Lady is strong. She has a beautiful motherly heart .

  • @doggiesareangels
    @doggiesareangels 3 роки тому +2

    Thank you for sharing this conversation with the rest of us. This was beautiful

  • @savetheenvironment.savethe5652
    @savetheenvironment.savethe5652 3 роки тому

    Young man you are blessed to have her as a mother GOD bless you mom

  • @remioshinowo6829
    @remioshinowo6829 3 роки тому +4

    This is so raw and very difficult for me to watch. You're a good mother and you've raised a good kind handsome young man. May God bless your family.

  • @icshawnie
    @icshawnie 3 роки тому +2

    I love how this conversation flowed.

  • @ksmith690
    @ksmith690 2 роки тому

    I want this young man to have the joy of youth and freedom that all young people should be able experience. I hate that he has been through so much so young. I hate to see the pain in his eyes. Im glad he has a adoptive parent who is fighting for him and willing to make changes so he is safe

  • @oceanbreeze34
    @oceanbreeze34 3 роки тому +5

    Such a beautiful bond 😍😍😍

  • @irsayson
    @irsayson 3 роки тому +83

    it’s crazy how people judge adoptive parents when they offer more understanding and love rather than biological parents do.

  • @yvonnmykels6305
    @yvonnmykels6305 3 роки тому

    Evan Dear, please do not worry so much about how you PRESENT DIFFERENTLY(I know easier said) Your tribe will find YOU..Keep being your most beautiful self..I pray that the world will be a kind place for you to experience LIFE 💜💜

  • @lodam9849
    @lodam9849 3 роки тому +1

    This channel makes the world better and it makes me better.

  • @ReeMoni24
    @ReeMoni24 3 роки тому +5

    God bless their family. Love is the most important thing.

  • @rhatid
    @rhatid 3 роки тому +4

    People like these give the world hope. She is a good person.

  • @beautifullyblessed_
    @beautifullyblessed_ 3 роки тому

    Words cannot how much I love and appreciate the realness of this conversation between the mom and her son. I respect and love the fact that she was honest with herself on how blind she was to racism and that she can SEE it now that she has a black son and will fight for him. Thank you for acknowledging that he has beautiful roots and that his natural family is beautiful. I swear someone is cutting onions; and God bless her. 🙏🏾😍😢

  • @jonathanmunyoki5161
    @jonathanmunyoki5161 2 роки тому

    Oh my goodness God bless this mother and child...

  • @ardhionadinfa7454
    @ardhionadinfa7454 3 роки тому +5

    Ur a great mother,Melissa..