Just finished reading ‘Raising Warriors: Preparing Your Children For a Godly Life’ and it really opened my eyes to some new ways of guiding my kids in their faith. Highly recommend it if you’re looking to strenghten your family’s spiritual life
1. Be clear on what you control and what you don’t control. 2. Calm voice, Calm face, Calm body 3. Give them two choices 4. Separate the emotion from the discipline 5. Remember your job...love them! Excellent advice I just shared it with my favorite people! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Thank you a thousand times. I could cry. I was abused as a child and am trying so hard to be a good parent without yelling and falling apart. This helps. I wrote it down to remind myself.
Same here man. I know it is NO excuse to yell and rage out but I had a lot that I went through in my childhood. It was rough. And I really do not want the same for my oldest daughter, or my other children.
My eyes are watering. I watched this about a year ago when my daughter was turning 2. Now she’s turning 3 and holy hell, I needed this now more than ever 😩😩 “remember your job…” “your job is to love them” broke my heart…. Absolutely true.
- Don't let them see that they can control your emotions. - When parents are smiling, kids are thinking. - Give them a solid, stable presence. Super helpful. Thank you!
I am not alone being such a parent with the similar problem but feel bad each time after yelling or saying something bad to kids. I almost forget that my first job is to love my kid. Thanks for this great video. Later my son would ask me： mon, may I ask you something, but please firstly promise that you won't reply to me loudly. At that moment, I feel shame about myself. I am happy to grow up with a better parent with my son too. Thank you all
im so blessed to encounter your video tonight, as i felt really bad for putting my kid in immense pressure to excel in her school interviews, too much emotions tears, yelling, you can imagine.....i feel terrible i lost it.....i hope tomorrow i can wake up and be a better parent, hope the damage is not irreversible....im terrible.....thank you....may God bless you
I am really having a difficult time with yelling and defiance. I have been listening to your videos and reading books and nothing is helping. It was definitely ingrained from childhood. It's so stressful!
I am sorry but i kinda feel relieved that i am not alone. It definitely is ingrained from my own childhood. And i have been trying every single day, every hour to overcome it. Or even to be a happy parent for at least sometime every week.
Dr. Paul thanks for the videos. I was talking with my husband and telling him about ,,calm face, calm voice, calm body,, and my daughter was around. And after a few days i get nervous about something and start to raise my voice on her. And she just say it calmly: mom, please, calm face, calm voice, calm body. Hahahah i couldn't stop laughing. It was like i listen some of your videos 😊
Thank you so much! That’s was a big help. I feel so bad when I yell at my 7 year old daughter just to get her to get dressed, pick up after herself, etc.... yes my job is to love her no matter what or even if. And yes keeping the emotion out of the discipline. Thanks again!
New huge fan here. I did not know you existed until today, and after reading and trying with other videos, this guy is simply the best. Thank you very much.
Thank you for this video Dr. Paul. I love my daughter even when she hates and pushes me away. I still take care of her even though I'm depressed of our situation. Thanks. I hope someday things will work out and will be okay.
Thank you so much Dr Paul! I'm not a parent yet but currently babysitting my nephew. Sometimes he just dont listen to me and starts crying when i dont do as he want.
This video really hit me down in my heart. I lose control constantly. This video reminds me that I can face these problems without losing control and also reminds me how much I love my kids.
Thanks for your videos. Really helpful stuff! I've never even once yelled at my 5 year old. My wife thinks I'm too soft with him but I never believed that yelling at him helps in the long run. Great advice with the 2 choices also. Cheers!
Since you are tuning in and learning it suggests that you are actually a great parent that cares! Live On Purpose offers a free 30 minute coaching and get acquainted session. Here is the calendar: calendly.com/liveonpurpose-team/free
Thank you so much Dr. Paul! I'm a new subscriber, binge watching your videos. They have already made a tremendous impact on my parenting and my children's behavior. I'm hoping my husband(who grew up without a dad- and was mostly raised by his older sister while mom worked hard to provide) will soon be on board with watching and discussing the tips you give. I've read some harsh, petty, somewhat crazy comments on your videos, but when you come across those, I want you to remember that you REALLY are making a difference in thousands of little lives and I for one pray God's richest blessings on your ministry!
I am going to practice calm voice calm face calm body,,,,I can do this,I want to be a good mom,I really do,being a good mom is my biggest dream,the first thing to control is to stop yelling.
Just have to say, this channel has helped so much on my parenting! Sure, I would have figured it out without, but now I have new ways to view situations and handle them, I can see it affecting our daily life! The one with giving a choice I picked up from another video and it really works (well, most of the time at least). Every parent should be presented with this!
Hi Dr.Paul! Thanks for another great video! The examples really help. I struggle the most with finding appropriate consequences that work. Does your parenting power up cover more of that? I admit to yelling sometimes and I always feel guilty because I wish I could have handled it better. I want to be a better example for them.
The parenting powerup has more examples and different categories of child development. I am able to go into the principles more so once you have a handle on the principles, it become easier to apply the consequences.
Oh boy... I like Dr. Paul phrase love them no matter if. Of course every parent loves their kids and in other words it takes a lot of patience. I need that because every parents loves their kids when they listen and they still love their kids when they don't listen it's like a challenge love. My daughter 5 starts comparing herself with her little brother which is 2 like why I don't yell at him. That's what she sees.
I am trying so hard to put this to practice. Sometimes I start up so well but end up yelling when I become frustrated 🙈Thanks so much Dr Paul, your videos have been life changing for me. You are indeed a Godsent! Will keep striving to do better🤗
Keep trying girl! I am ashamed to say that I have been yelling at my children for too long. But with the help of Dr. Paul's videos, his free Portable Positivity e-book, & the Parental Power-up course (available for purchase), I am slooowly learning how to handle situations better & not yelling so much. A commenter on another video cleverly labeled us "recovering yellers". 😁 We're trying, & that's why we're here! 💛
Irene Ifere Ohia, You are recognizing what is causing the yelling and that is the first step. Deal with the frustration and you will be on a more positive path. Glad you are enjoying the videos.
Thank you so much I feel a lot because I was yelling so much at my kids today because I was overwhelmed and stressed out. I feel like I failed as a parent. I’m so so tired because feel like I’m not getting much help from my partner. And most of the time I feel like it’s not my kids it’s me. I feel like they don’t listen to me and I get very overwhelmed. I want to be better. Calm voice, calm face calm body.
I found a big help was when I led and directed my kids day. I allowed them choice where appropriate. But, instead of giving an instruction and walking off, I was present and if necessary hands on with the task at hand. The moment I stopped directing or leading, chaos insued. Or if they weren't cleaning up their room, I would say, 'oh, I see you're having trouble cleaning up you're room how about you pick up 5 pieces of trash for me and put them in the bin? Then 5 toys, then 5 pieces of dirty clothes etc. 1or, I'd turn it into a race. Whoever gets their part of the room tidied up first, wins. So much less streß and the kids love it. ☺️
Thank you! This is really helpful and got me thinking a lot. I'm going to use these tips. Thank you again, really glad your video popped up on my screen
Thank u so much Dr Paul .it's really help me to make us better as parents. And I think we should teach ourselves before we teach our kids. It's like mould. Mould ourselves before we mould our kids.
It might be a factor if the personality had that tendency, Darloonie. I don't think that every child will develop into a narcissist if unchecked. Many other factors involved.
My son tells me I am always yelling or being angry when I talk in a , “direct, stern, and louder than usual tone”, but I don’t think I’m yelling and I try not to be the type of parent who fusses loudly at him but this video def brought a lot of things in to perspective!! Im going to work on discontinuing my loud tone and stick with the eye contacts and directness !
I love all of your videos. This one in particular brought tears to my eyes at the end... where you thanked me for being a loving parent. I truly do love my children and I am so grateful for them. Thanks for your kind words and great tips!
To be a good parent (especially for kids during their adolescence) you need to put yourself in their shoes. Teens are like miniature adults, they aren’t like kids who blindly follow their parents no questions asked. Kids that age don’t know any better, but teens possibly do. If you want them to obey you, then you must give good reason for everything you want them to do and for what you do to them. If you give them some valid reasons it’s likely they’ll listen to you, and trust me the "I’m your mother/father" never works. What you also need to know is to never yell. Yelling gets you no where and your child will just end up wanting to ignore you more or even yell back. It won’t make what your saying anymore clear. Now something to keep in mind for if you have more than one kids is that if they ever get into a fight, blaming or yelling at the one who you think is in the wrong won’t solve the problem. Instead think about how you can help the one harmed rather than shaming the one at fault. That’s about all I have to say.
Can u explain your technique for discipline in public. I don’t know if it’s a sensory issue but my 4 yr old always acts up in public but rarely at home. I feel helpless because obviously I don’t wanna yell or seem like a monster who is dragging her kid and all that ... So how do respond in public when everyone is looking? And I can’t just leave like the doctors office etc
THANK YOU FOR JUST BEING YOU! Your personality is a gift and it's so powerful to " Live on Purpose " ❤ your work has helped so many parents and Families. You are uplifting and inspiring. Your videos short sweet. GOD BLESS. THANKS AGAIN. Have a Happy Day!
I was trained with this parenting method because my mom was passive and afraid to show aggression. I can attribute that it 100% doesn't work. 😂 All you're doing is teaching your kids to lie. The only way out and get what they want is saying "sure I'll do it x way." and not doing it. Congrats.
Hi! I really learn a lot from you, thank you! Unfortunally I have a very clever son at 6 and a half who will copy everything that I do. He also gives me 2 choices now, to try make me do what HE wants. That makes me angry again and feeling helpless. What to do?
Very good talk. Thank you so much from this mom who has a second grader who is my fifth child but so different from the others and so much harder to figure out. 😊
"Meta-cognition is a made up word. We make up words in psychology because it makes us feel smart." I majored in Cognitive Science and I've never heard a more accurate description of literally everything I studied.
Thank you alwayz 😀 Stay amazing Dr. Paul 👍. Have a phenomenal day everyone filled with lots of unconditional lovez, light, and laughter 😊😘👍👍👍💖💕❤💙💝💫🌠🌟✨🔥🍀🌈☀🌈🌹🌼🌻🌸🎊🎉🎆🎶💰💵💰💵#BESTLIFEEVER
I'm frustrated because I feel like I have to yell.. I'm having a hard time asserting my words to what I'm actually frustrated about and have clear boundaries.. my job is to love them .. emotions aside from discipline and confident that I am doing a good job ♡
My oldest son is 5 and is currently in kindergarten. One day I received a call from his teaching, who said “your son isn’t listen, he has trouble following directions and keeping his hands to himself. He got his second recess privileges taken away and was in timeout while the teacher called me. I could feel my blood boil and at the same time i was questioning her. Are you sure it’s my son? I questioned her because my oldest is sweet, independent, extremely caring, and a bright minded boy. I ended up getting off work early to pick him to talk to him when school released. I asked him if he understand why he was in timeout at school and he took accountability and responsibility for his actions, which was great. He didn’t lie but the answers I got was “because” after asking why he stood on top of the table. I then expressed to the teachers my ex husband and I are divorced and my kids understand they are growing up in two homes. Both rules/responsibilities are the same in both homes for consistency. My son doesn’t show frustrating or anger issues. Then my brain immediately thought do i take him to the dr? Someone who can help with his behavioral issues? The principal? I was going insane with these thoughts. I took a deep breath and then asked the teacher if she would log in a notebook anytime she feels my son isn’t following directions or what actions led her to put him in timeout. We’ve been doing the notebook thing going on 3 weeks but it’s vague. “Your son need to work on listening and keeping his hands to himself” i talked to the teacher and told her myself and my ex husband can’t determine what trends we need to focus on with our oldest son if there’s lack of details. The teach huffed and puffed when i begged her to tel me examples of my son not keeping his hands to himself. Is he poking other kids? Pulling their shirt? I asked my son and he said he was playing tag in class with other kids. Sometimes he sees other kids perform and action and wants to copy what they are doing. I can’t monitor my son everyday ah in class and I’m trying to help which is why i brought up the notebook thing. The teacher then told me “the notebook isn’t working” and i told her as parents we don’t know how to help teach my son something I’d there are lack of details. Come to find out the notes were only coming from a teacher aid who would spend only 20 mins with my son. The notes weren’t from the main teacher. There are only 16-12 kids in her class. This teacher was a middle school teacher for 22 years and this is her first year teaching kindergarten. I feel like she’s giving up and expecting middle school expectations from my 5 yr old son. Another example the teacher gave me was “he’s bouncing off the walls”. I said what do you mean? You can’t say he’s bouncing off the walls when that isn’t possible. If he has too much energy or talking too much then say that. Then she elaborated after I was questioning her. My son doesn’t have a listening problem but i feel its more focus or obedience. As a new mom i have no idea who i help motivate this teacher to connect with my son. One method of teaching a kid may not work for another. Some kids are visual learns and some are hands on. Idk how else to get my son to raise his hand if he wants to speak or understand walking in the hall with the class you have to give personal space while keeping your hands to the side. The teacher threaten to send my son to the principal office but i feel like that’s punished him from learning when he’s meeting expectations in each subject. He just completed counting to 100 on his own. He loves the school work but the teacher gets so frustrated fast with my son and it makes me sad to know she isn’t taking as much time to figure out what works for my son and reverts to just calling me when she gives up. If my son didn’t get into a fight i don’t think the principal office is appropriate for my son. The teacher also things timeout isn’t working. Idk how to handle the teacher and still help my son on his focus and obedience skills and giving other kids personal space. I want to yell in frustration but that’s not best. How would you or other parents handle this?
Victoria, I would make an appointment with the principal and/or the counselor. They might be able to intervene and get the help for the teacher that she needs. What you are telling me seems to be age-appropriate behavior as we teach kids how to behave. Is she giving consequences? Maybe another teacher in the school, (if there is one), might be a better choice for your son.
Really interesting advice to try... thanks for that. However, your closing advice that a parents' job is to "love your child no matter what," that is such a dangerous way to conclude the video. The word, the emotion, the definition surrounding LOVE, especially in our confused culture, is interpreted so differently across the parenting spectrum. The job of a parent certainly does require you to love your child, AND also requires the responsibility to teach your child, guide your child, reward your child, discipline your child... and so much more.
Been there with the financial incentive and what happened with the ones that didn't do things is that they got so in debt that it didn't mean anything to them any more.
My daughter is 7 years old. I wasn’t the best example. I damaged her. Us to drink all the time, fill in the blank, not good. I almost died in a truck accident, I have stopped, it was a long difficult year. I feel well in all aspects of life, I’m calming down. Now I need to help my baby girl correct her behavior. I’ve been trying my best, any advice? I’ve removed a lot of anger and emotion I had, I’m trying to help her do better. I don’t really experience it directed towards me. I constantly get compliments from everyone telling me to come get her. I feel like it’s going to be a time thing. Taking her to church, and whatever positive things to help encourage her to do better. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
For the choice part, what would be an example for the control choice regarding putting away toys (I have a 5 yo and a 2 yo)? Thanks for your great content!
Good question! Whatever works for your children. An idea could be that if they put away the toys with you they get to keep the toys. If you put them away without them, they go in your room and the kids don't have access to them until they show they can put them away. Some moms play a song when it is clean up time, check out UA-cam, there are tons of clean up songs and with continual use, the kids know this is the signal to clean. Some moms give a reward if the toys are cleaned up before the song ends.
I was asking my twins to go to bed in a serious voice but at last I decided to yell on the 4th time ...They listened at last when I shouted at them but my eldest daughter was weeping sadly in her bed when I did so .....what broke my heart was that when she asked me whether I love them or not
Been there, done that. I know how you feel 😥. I tried this technique for the first time yesterday with my 12 year old and it worked, but there is a steep learning curve to get the kids used to this new approach. It requires patience with yourself and them, to change. It's hard. Be kind to yourself ❤️
Hi Marwa Gad, I echo what Makalie B said. Reassure your daughter you love her and be kind to yourself. It takes time and attempts and failure to change our routines. You are trying and being the parent your children need.
Just finished reading ‘Raising Warriors: Preparing Your Children For a Godly Life’ and it really opened my eyes to some new ways of guiding my kids in their faith. Highly recommend it if you’re looking to strenghten your family’s spiritual life
1. Be clear on what you control and what you don’t control.
2. Calm voice, Calm face, Calm body
3. Give them two choices
4. Separate the emotion from the discipline
5. Remember your job...love them!
Excellent advice I just shared it with my favorite people! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Infinite Value, thank you for sharing, honored to be on your team.
Thank you a thousand times. I could cry. I was abused as a child and am trying so hard to be a good parent without yelling and falling apart. This helps. I wrote it down to remind myself.
Brooke Daley, please come back whenever you think you need a refresher.
same 😢
Me too.
❤🙏🏼 same here
Same here man. I know it is NO excuse to yell and rage out but I had a lot that I went through in my childhood. It was rough. And I really do not want the same for my oldest daughter, or my other children.
My eyes are watering. I watched this about a year ago when my daughter was turning 2. Now she’s turning 3 and holy hell, I needed this now more than ever 😩😩 “remember your job…” “your job is to love them” broke my heart…. Absolutely true.
Oh wow! I am glad you came back to the channel.
“Separate emotion from the discipline” brilliant! 👌
And so necessary to truly have discipline and not punishment, Eu Avalos.
Yes! But easier said than done sometimes!
- Don't let them see that they can control your emotions.
- When parents are smiling, kids are thinking.
- Give them a solid, stable presence.
Super helpful. Thank you!
Derek J Fiedler, you are welcome. Thanks for being in our community.
"Maintaining a calm face, a calm voice, a calm body" ,I love this. Thanks for sharing.
You are so welcome!
Learning to separate emotion from discipline is a big one for me! 👍
It is a huge one for almost everyone, Julia Kaltenbock. Thanks for watching.
My eight year old is (was) completely controlling my emotions. Thanking God for reminding me of the wisdom contained in these videos.
Honored to be on your team, Christi Lee.
I am not alone being such a parent with the similar problem but feel bad each time after yelling or saying something bad to kids. I almost forget that my first job is to love my kid. Thanks for this great video.
Later my son would ask me： mon, may I ask you something, but please firstly promise that you won't reply to me loudly. At that moment, I feel shame about myself.
I am happy to grow up with a better parent with my son too.
Thank you all
Thanks for sharing!! Discover Cha, when we know better, we do better.
im so blessed to encounter your video tonight, as i felt really bad for putting my kid in immense pressure to excel in her school interviews, too much emotions tears, yelling, you can imagine.....i feel terrible i lost it.....i hope tomorrow i can wake up and be a better parent, hope the damage is not irreversible....im terrible.....thank you....may God bless you
Samson Lo, ask your daughter for a do-0ver. You got this.
My husband and I are oh so grateful for you're "choices" teachings! We've used them for awhile now and it transformed our kiddo.
Honored to be on your team.
I so needed this video. My 5 year old son makes me loose control daily. I am going to put your tips in practice. Thank you 🙏
Beatriz Sandoval, better days are ahead.
Hey Beatriz, check out Tiger Claw Karate Dojo on youtube for your kid if you want something for him to do. It's free.
How did it go? Are you still able to stay calm and collective? It’s so hard for me...
I’m the same way Beatriz!
I am really having a difficult time with yelling and defiance. I have been listening to your videos and reading books and nothing is helping. It was definitely ingrained from childhood. It's so stressful!
Spokenwisdom01, see my reply to Irene. 🙂 Good luck, fellow parent.
spokenwisdom01 ingrained in my childhood too. Scary.
I am sorry but i kinda feel relieved that i am not alone. It definitely is ingrained from my own childhood. And i have been trying every single day, every hour to overcome it. Or even to be a happy parent for at least sometime every week.
spokenwisdom01, thank you for watching and trying out.
I know this comment is a year old but I’m going thru same thing.
Dr. Paul thanks for the videos. I was talking with my husband and telling him about ,,calm face, calm voice, calm body,, and my daughter was around. And after a few days i get nervous about something and start to raise my voice on her. And she just say it calmly: mom, please, calm face, calm voice, calm body. Hahahah i couldn't stop laughing. It was like i listen some of your videos 😊
Too funny, Elena Mitrevska. Thank you for watching.
Thank you so much! That’s was a big help. I feel so bad when I yell at my 7 year old daughter just to get her to get dressed, pick up after herself, etc.... yes my job is to love her no matter what or even if. And yes keeping the emotion out of the discipline. Thanks again!
Glad to have you at Live On Purpose, Cerelle Barnes. I hope the videos are helpful for your family.
Thank you for the reminder that our job is to love them, no matter what.
Happy to spread the message.
I have been struggling with my 6, 7, 11 year old. This was exactly what I needed 👩👩👦👦
Glad we could connect.
New huge fan here. I did not know you existed until today, and after reading and trying with other videos, this guy is simply the best. Thank you very much.
Thank you for this video Dr. Paul. I love my daughter even when she hates and pushes me away. I still take care of her even though I'm depressed of our situation. Thanks. I hope someday things will work out and will be okay.
Glanda Lissa Guevara, I hope so too. Keep moving forward.
What living legend you are! Thank you tremendously.
Glad you are enjoying the channel, Linards Berzins. Honored to be on your team.
Thank you so much Dr Paul! I'm not a parent yet but currently babysitting my nephew. Sometimes he just dont listen to me and starts crying when i dont do as he want.
Farha Muhammad, welcome to the channel, great to have you here.
This video really hit me down in my heart. I lose control constantly. This video reminds me that I can face these problems without losing control and also reminds me how much I love my kids.
Love them no matter what and even if...
I am not a parent but I am a teacher of 2-3 year - old - kids. I would say you help me a lot. Thank you for sharing.
KAEWKLAO KAEWBUNJONG, Welcome to our channel. Invite your teacher friends along for the ride. Welcome to all.
5 suggestions that make families better. Thank you
Honored to be on your team.
Thanks for your videos. Really helpful stuff! I've never even once yelled at my 5 year old. My wife thinks I'm too soft with him but I never believed that yelling at him helps in the long run. Great advice with the 2 choices also. Cheers!
Thanks for sharing! LimB0ng0, honored to be on your team.
Thank you for this motivation. I’m the worst parent but starting today I’ll practice becoming a better parent
Since you are tuning in and learning it suggests that you are actually a great parent that cares!
Live On Purpose offers a free 30 minute coaching and get acquainted session. Here is the calendar: calendly.com/liveonpurpose-team/free
Thank you so much Dr. Paul! I'm a new subscriber, binge watching your videos. They have already made a tremendous impact on my parenting and my children's behavior. I'm hoping my husband(who grew up without a dad- and was mostly raised by his older sister while mom worked hard to provide) will soon be on board with watching and discussing the tips you give. I've read some harsh, petty, somewhat crazy comments on your videos, but when you come across those, I want you to remember that you REALLY are making a difference in thousands of little lives and I for one pray God's richest blessings on your ministry!
Glad you are member of the Live On Purpose Family, Gina McGrew. I don't mind people who disagree, but I prefer civility. Honored to be on your team.
I am going to practice calm voice calm face calm body,,,,I can do this,I want to be a good mom,I really do,being a good mom is my biggest dream,the first thing to control is to stop yelling.
Eve Kingstone, you got this and we are here for you.
That’s really great! You can do it! We were both big yellers and we use similar strategies and it worked.
Just have to say, this channel has helped so much on my parenting! Sure, I would have figured it out without, but now I have new ways to view situations and handle them, I can see it affecting our daily life! The one with giving a choice I picked up from another video and it really works (well, most of the time at least). Every parent should be presented with this!
I am so glad our videos are helping you, Maria Lorentza. Feel free to share with other parents who could use it.
Hi Dr.Paul! Thanks for another great video! The examples really help. I struggle the most with finding appropriate consequences that work. Does your parenting power up cover more of that? I admit to yelling sometimes and I always feel guilty because I wish I could have handled it better. I want to be a better example for them.
The parenting powerup has more examples and different categories of child development. I am able to go into the principles more so once you have a handle on the principles, it become easier to apply the consequences.
Thank you so much for this video.. had a bad time with my 5 year old. Will try to be more calmer
amrita bhatia, that is why I am grateful for tomorrows. Learn from today and do it differently tomorrow.
Oh boy... I like Dr. Paul phrase love them no matter if. Of course every parent loves their kids and in other words it takes a lot of patience. I need that because every parents loves their kids when they listen and they still love their kids when they don't listen it's like a challenge love. My daughter 5 starts comparing herself with her little brother which is 2 like why I don't yell at him. That's what she sees.
Glad to have you at the channel, Affanaman H.
Thank you for giving me hope and patience for my little ones. They deserve it. ❤
You are so welcome, remember, you are the parent they need.
That is so true If love is not the basic of what we do it will never work
Pure wisdom, Marie Savannah.
I am trying so hard to put this to practice. Sometimes I start up so well but end up yelling when I become frustrated 🙈Thanks so much Dr Paul, your videos have been life changing for me. You are indeed a Godsent! Will keep striving to do better🤗
Keep trying girl! I am ashamed to say that I have been yelling at my children for too long. But with the help of Dr. Paul's videos, his free Portable Positivity e-book, & the Parental Power-up course (available for purchase), I am slooowly learning how to handle situations better & not yelling so much. A commenter on another video cleverly labeled us "recovering yellers". 😁 We're trying, & that's why we're here! 💛
@@tecumseha Awww thanks for the encouragement. Lol @ "recovering yellers" Keep up the good work too🤗😍
Irene Ifere Ohia, You are recognizing what is causing the yelling and that is the first step. Deal with the frustration and you will be on a more positive path. Glad you are enjoying the videos.
Thanks, Tecumseh A., for supporting other parents. We are in this together.
Got the getting dressed scenario happened this morning and then your video showed up on my feed. Thank you so very much
Glad I could help!
Your priceless gift have been guiding to be a better parent🙏🙏🙏🙏
Soyeta, thank you, what a nice comment.
Really Sir Your way teaching is awesome..... Really examples are so practical 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
I am Lucky to have you as a guide 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Thank you so much I feel a lot because I was yelling so much at my kids today because I was overwhelmed and stressed out. I feel like I failed as a parent. I’m so so tired because feel like I’m not getting much help from my partner. And most of the time I feel like it’s not my kids it’s me. I feel like they don’t listen to me and I get very overwhelmed. I want to be better. Calm voice, calm face calm body.
Thoo family, love them no matter what and even if and we are here for you.
I know how you feel, this is exactly how I been feeling lately 😔
Listening to this on first day of school! thanks Dr.Paul
BY D, I wish you the best.
So thankful for this. Almost falling apart over here
Glad the video is helpful.
Thank you sooooo much Dr. Paul!!! So spot on, and yes our job is to love them♡♡♡
Yes Kitty Walker, if we could all agree on that we would have better relationships with our children.
I found a big help was when I led and directed my kids day. I allowed them choice where appropriate. But, instead of giving an instruction and walking off, I was present and if necessary hands on with the task at hand. The moment I stopped directing or leading, chaos insued. Or if they weren't cleaning up their room, I would say, 'oh, I see you're having trouble cleaning up you're room how about you pick up 5 pieces of trash for me and put them in the bin? Then 5 toys, then 5 pieces of dirty clothes etc. 1or, I'd turn it into a race. Whoever gets their part of the room tidied up first, wins. So much less streß and the kids love it. ☺️
Megan Molesworth, this is gold. You didn't turn it into a negative situation, but made it fun. Great parenting.
This is really awesome. Good tips. Thank you and keep up the good work🙂
Thank you! This is really helpful and got me thinking a lot. I'm going to use these tips. Thank you again, really glad your video popped up on my screen
"Be careful who you trust" 🍁🍁🍁
Wise words.
Thanks for your words…
Dvent Craft, you are welcome.
I absolutely love these tips and I so appreciate your videos! Thank you Dr Paul!!!
Jolene Snowball, honored to be on your team.
This dude is on point amen God bless this man
Thank you, Joey.
Thank u so much Dr Paul .it's really help me to make us better as parents. And I think we should teach ourselves before we teach our kids. It's like mould. Mould ourselves before we mould our kids.
Wonderful! Zhav's Brain, thanks for being here.
My favorite parenting video, thank you!
Thank you for your comment!
When you said that about the child thinking about the power they have over the adult, it made me wonder if that could lead to narcissism.
It might be a factor if the personality had that tendency, Darloonie. I don't think that every child will develop into a narcissist if unchecked. Many other factors involved.
My son tells me I am always yelling or being angry when I talk in a , “direct, stern, and louder than usual tone”, but I don’t think I’m yelling and I try not to be the type of parent who fusses loudly at him but this video def brought a lot of things in to perspective!!
Im going to work on discontinuing my loud tone and stick with the eye contacts and directness !
Jasmine Q, I am glad it is helpful.
Thank you...very informative
I love all of your videos. This one in particular brought tears to my eyes at the end... where you thanked me for being a loving parent. I truly do love my children and I am so grateful for them. Thanks for your kind words and great tips!
Honored to be on your team.
To be a good parent (especially for kids during their adolescence) you need to put yourself in their shoes. Teens are like miniature adults, they aren’t like kids who blindly follow their parents no questions asked. Kids that age don’t know any better, but teens possibly do. If you want them to obey you, then you must give good reason for everything you want them to do and for what you do to them. If you give them some valid reasons it’s likely they’ll listen to you, and trust me the "I’m your mother/father" never works. What you also need to know is to never yell. Yelling gets you no where and your child will just end up wanting to ignore you more or even yell back. It won’t make what your saying anymore clear. Now something to keep in mind for if you have more than one kids is that if they ever get into a fight, blaming or yelling at the one who you think is in the wrong won’t solve the problem. Instead think about how you can help the one harmed rather than shaming the one at fault. That’s about all I have to say.
name, thank you for taking the time to comment and give us some things to think about.
Can u explain your technique for discipline in public. I don’t know if it’s a sensory issue but my 4 yr old always acts up in public but rarely at home. I feel helpless because obviously I don’t wanna yell or seem like a monster who is dragging her kid and all that ...
So how do respond in public when everyone is looking? And I can’t just leave like the doctors office etc
Oh my goodness, YES. A video on this would be so helpful! 👍👍
I will add it to the list, ANGELCHRISTIANSTONE. It is obviously a topic many parents want help with.
Live On Purpose TV Thank You so much !!
Tecumseh A. Yesssss!
Thank you for the tips.
No problem!
THANK YOU FOR JUST BEING YOU! Your personality is a gift and it's so powerful to " Live on Purpose " ❤ your work has helped so many parents and Families. You are uplifting and inspiring. Your videos short sweet. GOD BLESS. THANKS AGAIN. Have a Happy Day!
Wow, thank you! Appreciate your support.
Brilliant talk! I’ve got many points which I need to apply to my daily behaviour with my kids. I’m glad I came across this video.
I am glad our paths crossed. Check out the playlist, so many videos there.
I was trained with this parenting method because my mom was passive and afraid to show aggression. I can attribute that it 100% doesn't work. 😂 All you're doing is teaching your kids to lie. The only way out and get what they want is saying "sure I'll do it x way." and not doing it. Congrats.
There are two things needed, love and discipline, to raise a healthy child.
Genius dude
Juan carlos Beltran, thanks.
Thank you for the video, very helpful, however I have a request, can you make a video on activities that siblings do together to encourage teamwork?
Great suggestion! Cat making a come back, I will add the topic suggestion to our list.
Love this. Thank you it’s so helpful
You will never fail if you never give up. Remember to reflect and forgive yourself during life.
Love this!
Hi! I really learn a lot from you, thank you! Unfortunally I have a very clever son at 6 and a half who will copy everything that I do. He also gives me 2 choices now, to try make me do what HE wants. That makes me angry again and feeling helpless. What to do?
M.J., so he thinks he can take charge? Guess you will have to show him that is not how it works.
Brilliant! Thank you Dr.Paul.!
You are welcome, Farida Russel. Honored to be on your team.
Good and practical and sensible strategies! Thanks !
You are welcome!
Thank you for this video it really made my day after a gloomy day with my kids 💞💞💞
Hang in there. There will be brighter days.
Tank you very very much! Regards from Poland. 😊
Hi, Maxi Emme, glad you found the channel and joined the Live On Purpose Family.
Very good talk. Thank you so much from this mom who has a second grader who is my fifth child but so different from the others and so much harder to figure out. 😊
Glad it was helpful!
"Meta-cognition is a made up word. We make up words in psychology because it makes us feel smart."
I majored in Cognitive Science and I've never heard a more accurate description of literally everything I studied.
chriserony, have to translate it to help in everyday life.
Grew up an a abusive household just trynna figure out how I can be the best father as possible
Macnchedda, you are in the right place. You may want to consider a membership to go.liveonpurposecentral.com.
Thank you alwayz 😀 Stay amazing Dr. Paul 👍. Have a phenomenal day everyone filled with lots of unconditional lovez, light, and laughter 😊😘👍👍👍💖💕❤💙💝💫🌠🌟✨🔥🍀🌈☀🌈🌹🌼🌻🌸🎊🎉🎆🎶💰💵💰💵#BESTLIFEEVER
Thank you, Deseree Kjersem. More to come.
Excellent, just what I needed...
I'm honored to be on your positive parenting journey with you, Viktòria Bànszki. Thank you for watching.
Thank you Dr.
Your advice is very touching and realistic.
I appreciate it.
I’ll be applying these tips!
Glad Ra, so glad to hear you are giving it a try. Honored to be on your team.
THAT is my hardest thing to do. Separating the emotion from the discipline. That, and knowing how to discipline in the first place.
It is difficult, but worth the struggle.
i absolutley enjoy and use every video and advice. and to be honest it works as is should. thanks Doc
Thanks, honored to be on your team.
thank you very much Dr. Paul for another valuable directions you gave us within this video.
Glad you enjoyed the video, Lousin Sarkisian Ghazelian . Honored to be on your team.
Very helpful 😢 Thank you 🥺
I’m 19 and not a parent yet but I’m willing to break generational curses.
My hat's off to you. Thank you.
Yes, yes! Finally!
Random Guy that exists. Thanks for watching!
Can you make more videos anchored toward kids/teens?
Yes, yourestupid. If you have any specific ideas, let me know.
I'm frustrated because I feel like I have to yell.. I'm having a hard time asserting my words to what I'm actually frustrated about and have clear boundaries.. my job is to love them .. emotions aside from discipline and confident that I am doing a good job ♡
You got this! You are the mother your children need.
My oldest son is 5 and is currently in kindergarten. One day I received a call from his teaching, who said “your son isn’t listen, he has trouble following directions and keeping his hands to himself. He got his second recess privileges taken away and was in timeout while the teacher called me. I could feel my blood boil and at the same time i was questioning her. Are you sure it’s my son? I questioned her because my oldest is sweet, independent, extremely caring, and a bright minded boy. I ended up getting off work early to pick him to talk to him when school released. I asked him if he understand why he was in timeout at school and he took accountability and responsibility for his actions, which was great. He didn’t lie but the answers I got was “because” after asking why he stood on top of the table.
I then expressed to the teachers my ex husband and I are divorced and my kids understand they are growing up in two homes. Both rules/responsibilities are the same in both homes for consistency. My son doesn’t show frustrating or anger issues. Then my brain immediately thought do i take him to the dr? Someone who can help with his behavioral issues? The principal? I was going insane with these thoughts. I took a deep breath and then asked the teacher if she would log in a notebook anytime she feels my son isn’t following directions or what actions led her to put him in timeout. We’ve been doing the notebook thing going on 3 weeks but it’s vague. “Your son need to work on listening and keeping his hands to himself” i talked to the teacher and told her myself and my ex husband can’t determine what trends we need to focus on with our oldest son if there’s lack of details. The teach huffed and puffed when i begged her to tel me examples of my son not keeping his hands to himself. Is he poking other kids? Pulling their shirt? I asked my son and he said he was playing tag in class with other kids. Sometimes he sees other kids perform and action and wants to copy what they are doing. I can’t monitor my son everyday ah in class and I’m trying to help which is why i brought up the notebook thing. The teacher then told me “the notebook isn’t working” and i told her as parents we don’t know how to help teach my son something I’d there are lack of details. Come to find out the notes were only coming from a teacher aid who would spend only 20 mins with my son. The notes weren’t from the main teacher. There are only 16-12 kids in her class. This teacher was a middle school teacher for 22 years and this is her first year teaching kindergarten. I feel like she’s giving up and expecting middle school expectations from my 5 yr old son.
Another example the teacher gave me was “he’s bouncing off the walls”. I said what do you mean? You can’t say he’s bouncing off the walls when that isn’t possible. If he has too much energy or talking too much then say that. Then she elaborated after I was questioning her. My son doesn’t have a listening problem but i feel its more focus or obedience. As a new mom i have no idea who i help motivate this teacher to connect with my son. One method of teaching a kid may not work for another. Some kids are visual learns and some are hands on. Idk how else to get my son to raise his hand if he wants to speak or understand walking in the hall with the class you have to give personal space while keeping your hands to the side.
The teacher threaten to send my son to the principal office but i feel like that’s punished him from learning when he’s meeting expectations in each subject. He just completed counting to 100 on his own. He loves the school work but the teacher gets so frustrated fast with my son and it makes me sad to know she isn’t taking as much time to figure out what works for my son and reverts to just calling me when she gives up.
If my son didn’t get into a fight i don’t think the principal office is appropriate for my son. The teacher also things timeout isn’t working. Idk how to handle the teacher and still help my son on his focus and obedience skills and giving other kids personal space. I want to yell in frustration but that’s not best. How would you or other parents handle this?
Victoria, I would make an appointment with the principal and/or the counselor. They might be able to intervene and get the help for the teacher that she needs. What you are telling me seems to be age-appropriate behavior as we teach kids how to behave. Is she giving consequences? Maybe another teacher in the school, (if there is one), might be a better choice for your son.
Thank you I'll put that into practice
Shannika's Ideas, awesome.
This is power!
Thanks, Mavery.
Excellent
Thank you so much 😀
Great video. Thank you.
Glad you liked it, Stephen Barela. Honored to be on your team.
Came here again for a reminder.
Do you have a video for setting up children for success. Setting up Task so they can successfully accomplish them correctly and they don't fail.
ser whit, I will have to think on this. I don't think we have the ability to guarantee success, it is up to the child if they are going to try.
You are so great. Wow ❤. Thank you
Epictetus approves this video!
Thanks!
Really interesting advice to try... thanks for that. However, your closing advice that a parents' job is to "love your child no matter what," that is such a dangerous way to conclude the video. The word, the emotion, the definition surrounding LOVE, especially in our confused culture, is interpreted so differently across the parenting spectrum. The job of a parent certainly does require you to love your child, AND also requires the responsibility to teach your child, guide your child, reward your child, discipline your child... and so much more.
Children need two things, love and discipline. We always love our kid, and we balance that with discipline.
Just thank you. You've been so helpful on this days on my 3 years old doughter 🙏
20Dalady, Glad the videos help. Thanks for watching.
Dr.Paul always waiting for this kind of video,thank you for sharing with us.😊😊😊
I am happy to share what I have learned, Jessica Ilano. Thanks for watching.
Metacognition thinking about thinking. Why are you yelling? So does your control. Connect with why. What can I control?
Important points, Yuri Reyes, thanks for watching.
So much wisdom ❤️
Honored to have you at Live On Purpose TV, shayleen webb!
Been there with the financial incentive and what happened with the ones that didn't do things is that they got so in debt that it didn't mean anything to them any more.
Thanks for watching and commenting, Rachel Nise.
My daughter is 7 years old. I wasn’t the best example. I damaged her. Us to drink all the time, fill in the blank, not good. I almost died in a truck accident, I have stopped, it was a long difficult year. I feel well in all aspects of life, I’m calming down. Now I need to help my baby girl correct her behavior. I’ve been trying my best, any advice? I’ve removed a lot of anger and emotion I had, I’m trying to help her do better. I don’t really experience it directed towards me. I constantly get compliments from everyone telling me to come get her. I feel like it’s going to be a time thing. Taking her to church, and whatever positive things to help encourage her to do better. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
Consistency and love will help in the long run. Make sure she knows you love her no matter what and even if...
For the choice part, what would be an example for the control choice regarding putting away toys (I have a 5 yo and a 2 yo)? Thanks for your great content!
Good question! Whatever works for your children. An idea could be that if they put away the toys with you they get to keep the toys. If you put them away without them, they go in your room and the kids don't have access to them until they show they can put them away. Some moms play a song when it is clean up time, check out UA-cam, there are tons of clean up songs and with continual use, the kids know this is the signal to clean. Some moms give a reward if the toys are cleaned up before the song ends.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV thank you so much, this is really helpful!
I was asking my twins to go to bed in a serious voice but at last I decided to yell on the 4th time ...They listened at last when I shouted at them but my eldest daughter was weeping sadly in her bed when I did so .....what broke my heart was that when she asked me whether I love them or not
Been there, done that. I know how you feel 😥. I tried this technique for the first time yesterday with my 12 year old and it worked, but there is a steep learning curve to get the kids used to this new approach. It requires patience with yourself and them, to change. It's hard. Be kind to yourself ❤️
Hi Marwa Gad, I echo what Makalie B said. Reassure your daughter you love her and be kind to yourself. It takes time and attempts and failure to change our routines. You are trying and being the parent your children need.