Is This How Men REALLY Think??
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- Опубліковано 25 кві 2022
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Yes 100% it's weird af at an event I wait till I go home cause fuck being that close
Yes 100 percent
Already sub with bell on. Now to my comment!
Normal heterosexual guy: Yeah nah I'm never going to the bathroom with other guys. I'm allergic to other male genitalia. If that's the only kind of bathroom present I'm just gonna hold it or piss on a tree.
@@skotttownzend5170 I would be go to the loo within a flash
I think this guy is slightly exaggerating it. I don't stand in front of a urinal directly next to another dude if I don't have to. But if I have to it's not really a big deal. I'm slightly more annoyed if I get the little person urinal. I don't really have an answer for why 😂 I just don't want the child's urinal. The worst is actually when you have some old guy groaning and moaning when he's letting it rip. That's always weird and uncomfortable.
There's no thinking involved, it's just instinct.
EXACTLY.
Yep
No thoughts, head empty.
The universe guides me to the correct urinal.
@@brucemaximus3797 Amen to that
Ong
We aren't taught this. It's just instinct
100%
That's fax, no printer
She has the same turtle beach headset as me
damn thanls god im not the only one who thinks all that no one teach me that too
Yes
The worst part is that in order to even get in the last scenario, someone had to make the wrong decision.
Needs more likes.
Exactly, so you’re trying to make the best out of someone else’s bad decision.
Not necessarily. It's possible, that was the only free urinal at the time he got there, and one got freed before he finished and you arrived. These places can be busy.
They realllly had to go 😂
The second guy on the left was the one that made the bad decision.
At level 4 you wait till someone leaves
Or use the stall.
Nah, because then somebody comes from behind you and takes the open urinal; they have no shame, just a full bladder.
At lever 4 someone made the wrong move cause now there are 3 usable instead of 4 😂
Agreed
At a certain point you have to just go. Sporting events, for example. There are too many people and a line behind you.
*If there's three urinals, there's two urinals.*
or 1
@@endersword516if someone makes a bad decision then yea
If one dickbag goes for middle, there is 1
@@FunkyLemon bro if the edges are filled you take a stall or wait u never go in the middld
I take the middle
That last one is a, "Nevermind imma use the bathroom stalls."
Legittt
This is the only correct answer for any stage past level 1
@@reverseengineeredbot3387 fr
I use the toilet to pee as a male. I literally can not pee under the "pressure" of someone next to me. It doesn't happen
Nah it’s ahh yeah
Level 5: wait until someone is done
We don't even think, it's just natural instinct 😂
That last one is a, "nevermind I don't actually need to go"
**Oh great the stall opened up..😅**
And the fourth too.
Fr lol
Or You’re gay
I just wait till fuckers are done
It gets more complicated when there's a short urinal, it fucks up the algorithm.
That's funny
I always use the shorter urinals because they're clearly put lower to accommodate the bigger man. 💪🏻
Short urinals mean i piss everywhere... im 6'4 and something goes wrong at this juncture
@@matthewsawford you mean theyre for toddlers
@@Unexplained65 Hello my fellow tall person, we are about same height( I’m a little taller than you tho, I’m 6’5). This is a random question, but do you also suffer from having gigantic feet like me?
Dudes always avoid getting too close to each other. It's instinct.
And then I get flamed when I say I don't like watching gay love stories (looking at you, TLOU)
and whatever you do, DO NOT make eye contact or say anything whatsoever
Every man will answer exactly as this man has done.
I don't, my choice is always either right next to someone to make it awkward if they are the only one there, or just to take the shortest one incase someone vertically challenged come in right after me.
Also stare them right in the eyes and assert dominance when you pee.
@@asymsolutions This is the true sigma male response. Pee in close proximity to assert your dominance.
Nah I just pee mindlessly.
Apart from the first one, no need to go all the way to the right, as long as there is at least one person gap then all good
Actually m one of those ppl who would go to the stall on the last one
This is 100% accurate but usually you don't "think" about it, you just instinctively move to the correct spot. Like water taking the shortest route down.
I think we all learned it over time
Exactly
@@screenshoted9844 lies there’s always that one guy who’s apparently never learned this skill and goes right next to you
@@rhuet40 so true
Truth
Level 5 is Washing Your Hands until another urinal opens up
It's automatic no thinking involved
When the bathrooms empty and some dude uses the urinal right next to you
Me: wtf's this guys problem?
Absolutely, bruh moment xd
He wants to see your chin-chin.
People I work with think it’s cool to chat when they pull this.
I assume Meat Gazer and shield appropriately
Lol, yep.
100% true this is EXACTLY what i think about as a guy.
Fr
On god
Me too dude 😂
Same here
It’s coded in our dna 😂
100%
When all the choices are equally bad you choose the one closer to the exit door!
Or whichever one has less exposure. Sometimes taking the one closest to the door means you're half exposed to the line waiting (eg at sports events).
"Mental gynastics"
Dafuq? It's called being considerate.
If you took the cubicles away and just had plain sight toilets, then 100% Woman would do the same thing.
Remember, women aren't that bright, so the most basic of things might seem extremely difficult.
"If there are 2 urinals, there's 1 urinal"
-me
If there 5 theres actually 2 or 3
Unless there is a good divider(s) there is only a fraction of the amount of urinals
"If there are 100 urinals, there are 50 urinals"
The schools 3 urinal setup it something else, don't wanna be caught lacking in the gay one
If theres no urinals pee in the toilet
"Do men actually take this seriously?"
Yes. Yes we do
Yes
Yes
Yep
Definitely agreed
Yes
only if there's no divider. dividers make any urinal safe, but you still want distance if you have the option.
I was using the urinal at a quik trip ... most of them were unoccupied but some foreign dude was standing ten feet behind me, I glared at him and yelled, " Use the others! It's not a line! "
He went from impatient to embarrassed but I hope he learned the lesson.
I told the idiot to never to do that in a public restroom ever again.
He just looked sheepishly at the ground.
As a male viewer I can certify that this is 100% accurate.
Brett and everyone involved in this channel and the viewers are all men, were all sick cants if we want to be brah, we all got a bit of zyzz in us
I can confirm that the last 3 you simply wait for an opening
Yup
Maybe they should put separators in between the urinals.
@@LindseyDisney they use to have those, but they removed them a decade ago in most bathrooms. Now all we can do it stare at the wall to avoid accidental peeks 😵
Always stare at the person next to you to establish dominance.
XD
o god 👀
Lmao XD
🤣 That's creepy, just do yours and go wash yer hands and fck off from the room
I hate u creeps.
I always go next to people and then
make eyecontact with them while I'm
smiling from ear to ear like the Joker.
yes, we get it - some men just want to watch the world burn
@@BigJohnLXV We live in a society
I have an irrational fear aggression response to creepy clowns. But you should be okay if you're not wearing the makeup.
@@priestesslucy3299 even I wouldn't stoop to that kind of impropriety!
Lol my brother says he takes the urinal closest to the scariest looking dude and starts talking to him and asking questions 😂😂😂😂😂
God she’s beautiful that smiles just perfect and seems really genuine like her entire face smiles not just her mouth
When there are dividers, the rules still apply
Yes! Women don't realize that this is what us straight men do. I believe normal gay men respect the urinal rules. If a family member is going pee, you wait for them to finish before you go.
Right cus its not about seeing anything, it's just about how close you are to someone when peeing
I'm confused, I thought today's ladies room had urinals? For those "LADIES" who still stand to piss.
@@jameswest9261it's for their sons lol
Yup
He's forgetting the "leave and try again later" option.
Bro 😂
If possible
True. And the ‘obstinately waiting for the stall’ option - even if it appears the guy currently in there has passed out
There's gotta be a tree around somewhere
BINGO
We don't think it about it, it just happens
Yes, we all have to think that😂😂
Women always have to go to the bathroom as a group. Men want to be as far away from one another as humanly possible. We are not the same
Facts
Why do women have to shìt collectively in a group stall ?
I'm a girl and I agree with y'all, going to the bathroom with others is the worst.
I needed to use the bathroom and so some girl I barely know followed me and hovered outside the stall bc "we should go together!!"
Yeah! because we guys, if we are too close we just start comparing our sizes
@@hassanakhter6120
Ok what? That's just disturbing, I've been right next to other men at the urinal and comparing sizes has never been on my mind, I mostly think about how much better I feel to be emptying my bladder, sometimes I think about the splash from the urinal and sometimes I think about the disgustingness and the nonsense of people not flushing before they leave because anyone can just come by and scoop up their urine and frame them for crimes.
That last one is an immediate "use the stalls" moment
very true especially when there is only 2 urinals lol
But then you realize all the stalls are being blown up by contractors. Nothing like the morning shits.
And have a nice sit down pee
The last one is for me to wait for one or 2 to leave or go to the stalls if one is available
I wouldn’t even be looking at the urinal if the stalls were open
this is straight up high level strategical thinking
There's seriously not much thinking about it, it's just intuitive action, like when finding somewhere to sit on a bus. FAR MORE options, but at least where I live, people would think of you as a creep or a retard or perhaps criminal, at least with intentions of crime - IF you go sit next to the only other person on the bus.
True but it all goes out the window in stadium events or concerts with lots of beer... all bets are off! 😂😂
As man, I can confirm that this is 100% true, it's like playing 7d chess
I HAVE AIDS
1 comment
, but where's the comment??? Is it hidden????
Yes but the later stages I would just wait unless I am about to piss my pants tw
Yes about 7ds in the room for sure
Sucks when theres only 6 and its after break or lunch at work.
"Is that something you guys have to actually think about?"
Not really, it's second nature.
shes stupid so she wouldnt know
Indeed
Indeed
Indeed
It is our instinct
"Is that something you guys actually have to think about?" Not really, it's usually just instinct.
The only time this doesn't come into play is if there is a line for the bathroom (at a concert, etc), because the pressure mounts and it becomes both impossible to justify to the people behind you why you're waiting when there are available spots, and it also becomes unnecessary to justify it because the potential for judgement is automatically waived in that scenario
The other rule is 100% no talking. Ever. A men's room is silent as the grave. If you do have to communicate something, it is done in silence with a series of head nods and facial expressions.
If a sound is to be uttered, it’s a simple “whew!” to acknowledge that someone really stank it up.
Nah that’s silly, if you hold the door open for me imma say thank you or whatever 😂
It’s either that or a complete shit show. I was in New Orleans at Bourbon St bar and there weren’t separate urinals but a single trough. One guy came in, went next to his friend and said “is that all you’re working with?” Everyone else in there started dying laughing
lol the women's room gets loud especially at schools
At my church, the ladies room is where all the old ladies gossip and me and my friends talk about how “Helen’s high heels made her skirt WAY too short”
It’s called urinal etiquette. And it’s important.
YES
Skip and go straight to the stall.
Yes. This is Bro Code Etiquette.
I'll also add, "No Talking" and "Eyes forward at all times".
Depends on your job. In the military, we had no issues talking at the urinals.
@@sonorangaming4450 also, NO TALKING
HAND COVER......
@@alfredo2506 yeah, to simplify that choice I always take a step backwards first. Then it doesn’t matter as much Which way you turn it’s more about Is anyone in your path on one side or the other. 🤗
And NO SHAKING
*There are three urinals*
Insane guy: *goes in the middle*
Next guy: “Oh that son of a-“
Lol this is so true. I usually wait so that I'm not next to anyone, and when someone takes the middle of the three urinals, me and another few guys just stand there awkwardly not knowing what to do.
*asserts dominance by taking middle*
Yeah if the urinals are full I just use the toilet
Yea we do lol
Lmfao
Not only must you consider your privacy, you must think about what the dude you just pulled up next to is thinking.
Level 4 is wrong. It does matter which end. You take the side that is opposite your holding hand.
This sets the holding hand up to block.
"Is that something you guys have to actually think about?"
No, everything was already calculated the moment we enter the restroom.
🤣😂🤣
Facts
It's called instinct
Why do men think they're special? As a woman I would instinctively not go into a stall right next to an occupied stall, if there are other stalls available. Again, just instinct. (Also there's a chance that Dylan Mulvaney could be in there.)
@Fenwick Chick Lucky you have individual stalls. Try doing your biz, standing up, holding your pants up, getting jostled by some random dude(s). Much more enjoyable in winter, with all those extra layers. He didn't mention two other considerations: keep grip side free if possible, and if have to wedge in, try to do it next to narrowest dude(s).
Level 5: *go's to the stall locked the door and pee in the toilet*
Ah yes...this is it
Yes
Stall etiquette around here seems to be that you don’t need to worry about the toilet. The floor is fine.
I do that in every Level
@@Nick-Bel same i don’t feel comfortable in those urinals
If I walked into the bathroom and saw the example from Level 3, I'd think, "What the hell is wrong with these people?"
And if you HAVE to pee next to someone there is an unspoken rule. You do not, under any circumstances, look away from the wall in front of you 😐
"keep your eyes up and center".
Eyes up. I don't even want to see any eye contact
Wait... I thought the rule was to make eye contact and smile.
@@ViPro2023 Ah, you mean smile and wink 😂
tf🤣
"Do men really think this way??"
No, we don't think about this, we're built to do it on Ultra Instinct mode.
urinal instinct mode?
@@aengusdedanann181 Very good one lol
@@rymanshroomzorz you said a mouthful 😁
Dragonball Super. Hell yeah.
Some still get it wrong🤦🏾♂️
I don’t want to stand next to somebody while pissing, if I can’t achieve that I’ll just use a stall 😂
Bringing up the real topics. The struggles we go through.
This is the Cleveland Show
All this happens subconsciously. Never thought about it before ... but it's true. Even outside I stay a certain distance from others.
the army and military who are killed everyday and get only 1 day and a month thats not even known:
Do you mean:
"No matter how you jiggle
No matter how you dance;
The last few drops will always end up
Right inside your pants."?
If so, there's a solution:
"So grab some paperproduct,
To give your tip a squeeze.
So when you zip you don't end up with urine to your knees."
Stall all the way
The interesting thing is: no one taught us to do this. We all just figured it out instinctively.
True
Almost guaranteed rooted in elementary school
@@MrMetra101 the place where you learn things by yourself without any teachers or parents
The restrooms i mean
Yes, through intelligence and wisdom 😂
I just realized that, I think it's just experience
Level 4 you listen for the guy who's almost done and walk slowly. Level 5, you hope the 3rd guy from the left is the one nearly finished...
And always stare straight ahead or up. Up is better, you can pretend relief.
I’m a woman and think like this when picking a stall.
Roses are red,
I need to make a call,
No matter how many urinals are free,
I'm going to a stall
LMAO bruh
same haha
Roses are red
Violets are blue
If there no stalls
What will you do?
@@BlueBlacy find a different bathroom haha
@@BlueBlacy
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
If there are no stalls
Imma hold in my pee or poo
Also don't talk to me. It's bad enough I'm in a public restroom
Once had a guy next to me introduce himself and TRY TO SHAKE MY HAND! I just looked at his hand and said, "DUDE, NO!"
@jamesdalton3082 Haha, he was trolling.
Hi, how you doing. How's it hanging.
😂😂😂@@timesthree5757
There’s a video by Aba & Preach with them commenting on a video by a transman complaining about not knowing how lonely life is for men. She talks about it being normal for women to talk in the rest room. Not so for men…💀💀💀
The worst part is when you are waiting for a while until it's your turn. You really have to go but it just won't work with all these people around you. After standing there for a while, just close the fly and pretend you are done. You are better of waiting for the normal toilet, and hold your breath for 30 seconds.
Don't have to think about it, it comes naturally.
Imagine as a girl, there are toilets with no walls, that are within inches of one another. You would 100% have the same thoughts
Yeah women would think the same thing if they were in the same situation.
How many people use self serve machines so they don't have to interact with people? And people will go for ones that aren't close to each other unless they don't have any other option. So it's not just a going to the toilet thing.
yeah
this women is just reinforcing difference between men and women, totally unnecessary 😢
@@yurimaximus6528 WomAn* Just as it is MAN=singular, MEN=Plural it's woMAN=singular, woMEN=plural.
Ikr I thought that it’s like not that hard to put yourself in the shoes of the guys lol
The last one is called checkmate
Go to stall
Actually played a flash game version of this and the answer for one level was to click the door and leave.
Just take the open leftside, so you can oiss holding with your right hand without someone there. It's less than ideal but not that big of deal... like when pissing at a trough
Go wash hands and hopefully the right combination forms.
The last one is a "ahh I have to shit nvm"
the worst case is when there's obviously a right answer and instead someone comes and stands next to you. Yikes. I'm standing next to a psychopath.
Level 5 is definitely a “Yeah I’ll come back later”
Use the stall
@@dfor it don’t feel right💀
yup. look for a stall.
Or wash your hands and hope one clears out
Exactly 💀
Also no eye contact, you look straight ahead. No talking but whistling is fine.
No. Absolute Silence. The whistler is a distraction.
No talking? I can tell you've never been out to a bar in your life.
I would say just pee and get out. I dont want to breath that toxic air any longer than i have to. I wouldnt whistle
@@Guitarisforgrins I can tell you've never been to the internet before.
@@willek1335 Oh really? How's that exactly?
I have, like, a comfort bubble around me (dunno how 2 describe it) that I don't like strangers going into. Similarly I would not like to do that to other people.
Her: "He's probably out cheating on me again"
Him:
😆😆😆
"again?" 🤔
@@rainynight02 “AGAIN”
@@Neotheaterr
Doubt it
Again?
"Is this what men actually do"
Yes it's life or death 💀
Who's looking at whose
@NabeelNitro
There will be one who will push us 😶
It's a serious business
Its All About Spacing
The guys who mess the system up are the worst
Rule 1 of the urinal: Never willingly take the space directly next to someone else
We don't have to think about it. We just do...
When there’s a level 5 situation, switch to the stall for maximum privacy.
But people think you’re taking a shit in a public bathroom which is maximum persecution lol
@@roberthastings5969 who gives a sh*t
@@roberthastings5969 I don’t care lol
@@firefightszz fair lmao
I do that shit too.
1000% accurate. Men everyday make this calculation in less than a second.
😂😂😂😂😂😂 i don’t know why this so funny
As a woman I already knew this but idk how I know 🤨
This is why men are better, no task can't be broken down and explained, and the calculations done quickly and efficiently.
Yeah my brain works like that too
I entered my washroom to find people occupying alternate slots. I simply waited for one of them to open up
It’s called the “bro code”. You never stand next to another man while pissing unless it’s an emergency or you’re at a ballpark and there’s a thousand guys waiting.
I went to an event one time, forget if it was a ballgame or a concert…but there was a huge line and there wasn’t any urinals, just a big trough to piss in. It was one of the weirdest/worst experiences of my life, cause there were so many people waiting to pee that each position of the trough had a line in the restroom. Shudder.
@@jaidenbrinkI was just going to say the trough. The last time I used one, I swore I pissed all over myself but apparently not.
He forgot to mention that if a guy in front of you walks up to a urinal, that factors into the decision, because he will most likely take longer to finish than anyone next to him.
@@jaidenbrinkI’ll take that over other countries I’ve been to. China has theirs bolted on the floor. Can’t imagine we swap our bathroom format with them, where everyone’s 🍆 is out like knights at the round table. Or someone misses and causes someone to slip.
@@jaidenbrinksoilder field or wrigley?
Level 100: "Piss on the biggest guy to establish dominance."
Power move
damn bro im gonna try this so I can become an alpha
Consciousness Level 0 achieved after biggest guy turns around.
Risky move if they're into it.
This caught me off gaurd hahah I was reading it so casually then bam! biggest guy, dominance
Absolutely this is how you use a restroom as a male.
What can I say, it’s a struggle us men all face.
It's not something that men consciously think about, but it is something that all men intuitively understand.
I did this test a while ago with my wife looking over my shoulder, and
she was astounded I could get all the answers right and she didn't even
know it's a question.
Not all men. The number of men i have had stand at the urinal right mext to mine, when all the rest are empty, and then start talking to me is insane. I can't fathom how they don't understand that you don't talk to a guy who has his dick in his hand especially when you also have your dick in your hand.
Exactly!
Is that how it works? Yes
Do we think about it? No
👍
It’s like breathing it just happens 😂
@@user-cq6np9xu8jyou right lol
W comment
this!
These poor souls would probably be horrified at the thought of drunk idiots at a rock concert sharing urinals 😂
I've never had to think about it. I just go in the stall. Biggest life hack in the century.
Facts. It drives me nuts when someone screws this up
This is accurate af, there’s no awkwardness or anything it’s just about privacy and respect
Exactly.. common sense.
Yes indeed
Even if there are privacy panels, we still do this.
Guys who don't follow this are sus af
@@rumhave9632 of course
As a proud member of the male community, this is a no-brainer, just basic instinct. Social distancing never ends for men.
Damn you tried to steal the top comment too? You all are goofy.
@𝕯𝖗𝖆𝖈𝖔 𝕻𝖆𝖉𝖎𝖑𝖑𝖆 it's still a fact, my g. Now kindly shut up and go complain somewhere else.
@@DracoPadilla ah yes. Cause using the word instinct automatically means he copied someone. No way you cared this much that you go out of your way to look for these comments and reply.
@@DracoPadillano, it's just that it *is* an instinct.
@Eric Lin nah, he just got no friends, so he got nothing better to do
This also applies to choosing a gym treadmill
Yes of course ,we all turn into einsteins as soon as we step thru the bathroom door
Very real, the other rule is no verbal communication whatsoever.
Yes. It irritates me when men don't follow urinal etiquette. You always wonder what happened in there life to lead them in that misguided direction.
One time a guy farted next to me and i said "gesuntdheit" and he thanked me
I feel that words are only acceptable at the sink, post movement
Definitely no eye contact
I only talk when someone looks really uncomfortable just to really layer on the awkwardness
We don't have to think, it just happens.Walk in and my body naturally goes to the spot with no people or the least people.
The worst is when you work with someone who is an absolute menace and *intentionally* chooses the middle of 3 urinals. We have all met a version of this man and he is not to be trusted.
This is 100% accurate lol, sometimes if it’s too crowded you have to use a stall, even with open urinals 😂
Lol , true 😂
I would use the floor drain before I use a urinal adjacent to one already in use
My papaw had a game like this on his work computer growing up and I played it all the time and now I cannot think of anything else whenever I go into the bathroom. In the game if you chose the wrong one the people would turn around and beat you up.
That! The very last one you just go to a stall or wait and see who finishes and take there spot lol
Damn Skippy
On the last one, my husband says, "The REAL question is, why are those two dudes on the end in the first place....?" 😂😂😂
They are the gays and you definetly have to stay well away from them.
Could be a time delayed situation like a parking spot that's tight because someone else parked awkward because they're forced into that position because of someone ELSE'S bad parking. Or, the #2 guy standing is incredibly lonely on a subconscious level and he automatically gravitates to humans any way he can, and he does this with bathroom stalls too. 😊
That occurred due to the departure of one of the other urinal participants.
Exactly. What are they up to? What madness drove them to break formation?
Agreed. I thought the same thing.
Yeah, we don't get private sit down toilets. Though, level 5 is "check the stalls".
I think it's also cultural, for example in ancient Rome, they had these public places with places to "sit down" with a lots of holes, and they had a sponge on a stick in a bucket of water instead of paper, but they liked to sit and chat and sh*t the same time.
This is accurate as f*ck. Sometimes I just piss in the toilet when there’s too many dudes at the urinal lol
I don't even use the urinals anymore. High schoolers are unpredictable so you want protection from all sides.
No matter the situation if there's a cubicle free then you b-line for it to avoid any and all current urinal users
To the boys pissing needlessly in toilets when urinals are open... if you are taller than 4ft, you get splash...which goes on the toilet... where others sit to evacuate bowels... nothing beats sitting on overspray and splashback from men who refuse to use urinal...
Toilets are reserved for sit down events and when shoulder to shoulder urinal option is only other alternative.
@@namelocrm1251 i just dont even use the school toilets
@@spoonsarefun but sometimes it's a good idea if you're drunk cuz standing can be a bit of a hazard after a few to many doubles I know I often opt for the stalls to sit just so I ain't waving halfway across the bathroom
Girls: why do you have to be spaced apart?
Boys: it’s the law!!
We don't question it we just do it
Lol just wait until they’re are three open in a row then the middle
Mr. Moseby ?
We have instructions in our genetic code to do this
@@christophermartinez1159 yeah... There are no barriers most times. So more space the better. Imagine having your facilities out for whoever to just look over and see. You'd want some space.
As a woman, as soon as there was no gap preventing standing next to someone else, I thought, yep, pissing in the toilet!