Do narcissists have a FAVORITE PERSON?
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- Опубліковано 16 вер 2024
- Do narcissists have a favorite person that have encountered or have dealt with? Is there a person that they prefer over everyone else? There are a lot of narcissists that have a person that is 'special' to them that they value above others even if they are married.
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Welcome my channel! If this is your first time seeing my face or hearing my voice, my name is Lee and I am a self aware narcissist. I have narcissistic personality disorder ( NPD ) and I've been in therapy for my personality disorder since 2017 and it has definitely changed my life because without it, I would have lost everything.
The point of these videos is to help bring awareness from the other side of the narcissistic *buse spectrum. All my videos give perspective on why many narcissists do what they do and the possible different reasons behind them. The victims and survivors get validation and the Narcissists (those that are willing) get to see that you can get help and that you are not alone.
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The question should be ''Do narcissists have a favourite person to abuse and torment?'' They don't know how to love.
The ex that can’t stand them the most is probably their favorite person. They love & obsess people that want nothing to do with them.
LOL, I noticed that with the one I know its the people that look like they want to get away are the ones he follows talk their ears off. Those willing to speak to him are ignored. It when your creeped out running from them the turn stalkerish when you expect willing to deal, they lose interest.
I am that ex, and I can confirm this.
A narcissists favourite person is one who acts like a devoted fan! One who is gullible, naive unaware of the games. Admiring the narcissist whilst serving them, although it makes no logical sense, why anybody would. This person would ideally spend their time believing all the BS, the narcissist spews & singing their praises louder than a church choir! They're the type of person to constantly tell the narcissist how 'amazing' they are, even though deep down you know it's BS! If you're willing to carry an emergency kit filled with compliments and praise, ready to deploy at the first sign of a bruised ego, you're a favourite! A reliable appliance , a good source of supply. "Mirror, mirror on the wall, which supply loves me the most of all!"
Not always. My father and his family are very narcissitic, so that’s what I’m used to. Also why I ended up with those kind of men. But I think they like me and always come back because I know them and know how to navigate the relationship with them, where as people who has a pretty normal family, tend to lash out on them or “judge” them
@@Moe90ies Judge them?
Accurate! So many blind unwoke folk out there. The work place is rife with them!
@@HippieZippy constantly pointing out their faults or how they hurt you, is considered judging them in their eyes. It’s normal to listen to your own feelings, you should absolutely do that. But us who was raised in families like that, learn to either ignore our feelings or be smart about and learn to manipulate them, to our own advantage. They are actually very easy to manipulate
@@Moe90ies I absolutely agree with you. They're certainly predictable once you're aware of the games. I bet they hate being ignored. Well done you for manipulating them. You certainly understand these dynamics due to familial exposure, which is unfortunate but I'm glad you are able to navigate the mindset of the disordered. Most of us are left in a state of utter bewilderment.
as I see, having been in a relationship with a narcissist for two years, I think that the more you do for the narcissist, the worse he treats you, humiliates, ridicules and dehumanizes you...
😮💨
Yes . cause they can’t be caring like us. They envy us for our compassion
03:00 "They'll bash or trash or they will worship them."
In some cases, they do both (learned from personal experience).
Yep
My narcissist ex told me he doesn't want anyone else and would wait for me because he doesn't want to date and meet new people. I didn't comply so he went online and found someone to love bomb 2 weeks after. Now he's moved in with her after 2 months of just meeting. Poor girl has no idea what's she's in for. He even triangulated me with her so she would get jealous and commit to him quicker. Everything he did to me, he's doing to her. Stay safe out there.
He directly told me I was his “number one favorite person”. Before this, he told me several times that he was actually very literally obsessed with me and it was terrifying.
Going through that now post separation *as I'm pregnant w new guy, in a healthy relationship aka, at peace, and not taking his BS in so called "coparenting" w ex letting my silence be my telling of "take me to court since he wants to play victim that I'm just not working w him" whole time he just inconsistent and disrespectful breaking the parenting agreement in/out of parenting app recorded that use.
My ex's person was his Mom. Has lived with her going on 30 years. She enabled his behavior and never held him accountable. Out of a two year marriage, we lived together less than 5 months. My therapist said he has an unhealthy attachment with her.
Girl same and I got 8 years in before I finally came to my senses. They still take mother-son vacations together 😂 and he sleeps at his mom's house part time because he doesn't want to pay rent at his new girlfriends 😭
Same here too and eerily similar, he was living more with his Mom too. Totally devoted to her in every way. Treated her like a wife, treated me the way someone would treat a mom. Ugh.
My ex the same
Literally my story. Lived apart more than together in just over a 2 yr marriage. Mother is the lover of his soul. But they won’t ruin mine. In JESUS Name. Amen.
That is part of their disorder,the mother narcissist bond,so sick and I blame the mothers.
Dude, your channel blew up because you be dropping truth bombs on us about the inner mechanisms of a Narcissist 😂. This video is again 💯 spot on.
“Unhealthy as Heeeeeelllll” 😂😂😂
lol
I don't care how he treats her aslong as she keeps his mind off of hurting me
Amen
You haven't healed yet. She triggers you and you are scared of her. But you'll get there, to that point where you just don't give a s**t about what she does and she just can't hurt you.
What lol
Never be the last victim
Absolutely
“super red Flaggy 🚩” lol
😂
Been 20yrs. Our daughter about to be 18 in October. He has said he will never leave me. I thank God I can pray and build myself back up. I had tried many times.
8 years, 3 kids and one on the way and I found out he STILL had his high school prom photo with his ex girlfriend in his wallet! I was 9months pregnant when I got calls in the middle of the night that they were out at the bar together and posting photos of themselves all over eachother on Facebook. I was so embarrassed and hurt. It was not the first time he cheated on me either. Before I got pregnant with our second, he cheated on me with a hooters waitress ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Omg sick selfish psycho's
God bless you Kristin
Yes they do.... people they can control
😫
I guess my narcissists fav person was me. His girlfriend at the time asked “what did you do to make him love you so much”??? I didn’t know how to respond. Now I know I dealt with too much of his bs for too long. They love a long lasting supply. Smh 🤦🏾♀️
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I was favourite for 8 months until they got what they wanted which was to spent the night and future fake me then it was onto the next and I became annoying
Ok, got it thank you cuz I was confused how one can be the favorite person but still be treated badly and discarded. I appreciate the clarity.
you’re welcome
Hi Lee. My narc was obsessed with his mother and he is 58 years old. During our 10 year relationship, it was always about his mother. Presents for his mother. Lovingly talked about his mother. It got so bad that I would get jealous of his mother. And all his mother did in my presence was criticize him. So toxic. But his only marriage of 3 years that happened 40 years ago continued to be a bedsore for him, too. He always bashed her. Never accountable...not a growing person.
Triangulation
@@Blessed591 Thank you for your insight. Never heard of triangulation so I looked it up. You enlightened me. And yes, triangulation indeed. 😥
@@debbiegriffis4395 And btw , they can triangulate you against anything and any one else . It can be an object , their job , a co-worker ,your own child , an animal , sport , tv series , Naija movies , the neighbor's cat ! 😂😂😂😂🤣 Anything ! As long as they know that they are making you feel less valuable . Horrible beings they are . .
.
I'm his favourite and he's done everything from loving, manipulating gaslighting and if I don't respond to him quickly enough I'll get punished by stonewalling, and more he knew my gaps. I'm empathetic and kind and loving I can't even say or mention what he's done with his sexually deviant manipulative ways it's unheard of its almost insane
He told me she was a good girl. I dont care what his reason was I dumped right then and never went back. Its been 15 months. I started to suffer so bad. I cant even explain. A couple day
s after I kicked him to the curb.😢Thank God thats over. I still don't believe he never cared emotionally but intelligently I do. I nevr want to see him again not even from a distance.
That was just the last straw and I was tired. He had been verbally, mentally,emotionally abusive before that. I just quit.
The clerk at the grocery store who cards them for alcohol, even though they are 50
😅
Lmfao
The clerk is required to card everyone, doesn't matter the age. If they get caught not carding those who purchase alcohol or smokes, can be fired. I was a cashier in my early years of life. Has nothing to do with being a Narcissist. It's job protocol and the law.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Oh definitely. The person that caters to them, don't question them and admires them . And keeps their mouth shut 😮
My only leverage now is telling them to go and watch how fast I find a better person who will love me like I love them and they know I can replace her easy
That’s not leverage if u still there😂
I see a lot of videos that say a narcissist will not change and run the opposite direction… but I see you successful at being positive and in a relationship.. Can you explain how and why you wanted to do better and did it successfully … and does this show that loving a narcissist is possible? Thank you
His ex-wife! Yes, he talked about her like a dog!! And always talked about the girl at the restaurant. She would put a lot of food on the carryout meal. 🤔🤔
🤔
My husbands fave person is his best friend I was told from him to that his friend brings him joy, and I would never understand their relationship because I don’t have family or friends and that he has done more for him that I ever did for him.
DL? I’m just saying. I went through this lol. I think mine was on the DL.
@@tonyad.eggleston8793yep 🤢
My ex and his ex are both narcissists and each other’s favorite person (they won’t admit that publicly though). They like to compete with the number of kids they have, number of romantic partners they get, and with ruining each other’s romantic relationships. They deserve each other but they won’t get back together for whatever reason.
Uhgh that is so toxic, I feel bad for the children…at least they know better than to get back together because that would be worse! Their pride and ego are what saves them from ultimately destroying each other…for now at least. Sometimes it takes a person meeting their match to instigate growth. Hopefully they will eventually take the initiative to heal. The best you can do is wish them well and preserve your best love for yourself ❤ take care and blessings dear one.
Wow😮 Lee, you are so right!!
My ex- narc was very obsessive of his ex. He always talked about her. I asked him numerous times to stop bringing up his ex. Can we just move forward in our relationship and leave his ex in the past. Then I found through his phone he was still communicating with her behind my back secretly trying to get back with her. He said he loved her and he would do whatever it takes to get back with her. Meanwhile, we had been together for 3 years. I had no idea at the time I was dealing with a narc. I just knew it was extremely weird how much he talked about her. Wow… So eye opening for me. I’m learning so much from you Lee. Thank you so much. GOD BLESS YOU.🙏🏽
protect your peace
I love it when you waive the red flag too funny too cute but absolutely necessary
Mine did. She is one of the reasons why we divorced
Bless you for your insight ❤
Thank you.
Yes my son father said he don’t know why I keep being in his mind. Saying when we first met he thought he could mold me. Smh saying the creator made me just for him. Why I just won’t submit to him. Smh then that bird had the nerve to say I wasn’t his type 😂🤣🤣 man please. I would never go back
guess if you were his type he would have to try to mold you. Men are crazy they want to change a woman instead of just going for one that is already how they claim to want their women to be but they find those women boring.
Lmao that bird ?!? Why a bird ?
it's true, the fact that you will try to fulfill his whims does not mean that he will treat you special. I have been in a relationship with a narcissist for two years now, and I am constantly in a cycle of idealization to devaluation. Even though I try to please him all the time. I organize weekend trips for us, holidays, I pay for the hotel, tickets, etc. I'm not good enough anyway, because he keeps complaining, eg. "You could have bought return tickets for the earlier train, I'm tired of this place, I want to sleep..." etc.
😶😩
THANKS LEE FOR THE TRUTH
His favorite person is someone just like him
That's just whoever is top supply at the time,it's all just smoke and mirrors. They mirror who is in front of them or Infront of the camera with them,it just takes understanding of the sickness. It's so annoying!!
I left right before he was going to leave me and he was furious with me. Wanted me to talk and have dinner after he realized the ex was broke!!!😂
I always thought that he was still obsessed with his ex who dragged him on court for stalking. One because she dared to treaten his reputation but two because he told me that she was probably the only one for who he really felt in love.
Even if, after three years he told me that he just wanted her death, wins the trial and go on with his life, i'm convinced that she is a narc/borderline and she is his perfect match.
Why would you want to be the narcissist’s favorite? That’s the most important question.
🥴
If you are trauma bonded and do not want to leave them ???
My "mom" is a narcissist.. .
Before my dad passed, she used him then turned around and belittled him to anyone and everyone. Let's not get into the ish she pulled when he died. My brother on the other hand is her favorite and will run skip and jump to him, including inviting herself to his kids events. "To hell with her" lol
Yes if my ex narc is sending me friend requests through fake profiles now, then i believe he was stalking his ex's while we were together. He rarely showed me his pH it wasn't an open minded relationship.
Of course, themselves
Themselves
😅
Good one! 😂
Narcissists can have BPD so yes but it’s not common.
Their only favorite person are those whom they benefit from the most and the most gullible
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It's crazy because now he is trying to act differently in a commitment claims he is only focused on me. Damn Lee I wish I could call you direct like a cousin and bus it up 🙄😂.
Ahh but this is the funny thing, what happens when they get the favourite? Ahh they start fantasising over someone else
Anyone is my favorite person other than the narcissist!!!❤
I had to compete with the narcissist, dead wife, he would always talk about what they did together and I would always tell him that has nothing to do with me, but I think he feels like he has to pay penance because he didn’t treat her right before she died. He’s a very selfish individual.
Relate 100%
The ex (one of them) the was so obsessed w) she lived in another state *where idk), she was had daddy issues like all his other gfs back then, was just out there ect, was the one supposedly had kept up him* I guess he bought her book a a few yrs ago and SEVERAL copies. She had gave him one one as well as gift. He kept bragging how she got her life together, married a great guy who a lawyer, finally had a kid later in life, she mentioned my ex in her book how he was a a great learning lesson and still friend. ect. Another thing that blew me was him saying 1) he didn't think he had to ask me to buy multiple books, 2) he was already basically acting like she was the one the got away bc "she didn't want him", 3) of course whether anything he said was true or not claimed HIS stingy and toxic family LOVED her yet I was treated like "be nice to her face" and they started lying on me when they NEVER took the time to know me in 10+ yrs, 4) That my ex boldly just praised her in a no "Fault way" but disrespected me every way no matter how much I was there for him.
It wasn't even necessary jealously it was facts too. I knew *if it wasn't lies* he probably sugar coated himself to this ex and husband, but the also the fact ANOTHER EX he was on social media. But let me have any male speak to me in public or even be on social media that's a relative he didn't know. I was then "talking to someone else"
Too many times. It's like being in hell. It kills a little bit more of you each time. Let em leave amd don't look back.
This is good!!!👍🏽
🙏
Do narcissists have a favorite person? Of course... themselves! Picture Reggie Mantle from Archie Comics:
🎵"I love me, I think I'm grand!
When I'm with me, I hold my hand!"🎶
Yes themselves 😂
I removed myself from that roster💯 #GHOST 👻 THE HELL WITH THEM 😂
“Match made in hell” ikdr 😒
Hey lee, did you start feeling emotions suchs as empathy and love after therapy?
lee ? 😂
@@diamondcali8234
Lee Hammock is his name
My ex narcissist actually had an ex narcissist that he was obsessed with it was a hot mess, I once came across a text message of them hoovering each other, glad I am away from the drama
Omg. This lecture is the most important! Many narcissists will choose a prostitute over you! That person is usually jealous. Bottom line, the narcissist does not give a sht about you. They want to be with them. You should Thank God that it's not you and release and let them both go their miserable ways!❤❤
There favorite person is the one keep them with the good life because they don't want to do anything
Unfortunately I feel like the favorite ex because he told me when he broke up with me he was going to find a female with money I didn’t argue like I normally would - he stopped talking to me for a month then called me private on both my phone asking can I help him . Like where’s the female with money at ? I’m starting to think she’s made up then he wanted to talk about the day we broke up & that he still wanted to be coo with me he wanted to be friends still I never agreed now he texts my phone like we friends
i owe her flowers but she stole my problem
I'm sure everyone here would love to be the Favorite, LOL AND I OWN THE GOLDAN GATE 😂
My ex told me he was addicted to me scary I don’t want nobody addicted to me 🙅🏽♀️
6:52-6:56, 11:09-11:34 💯💯💯💯
Im the ex that yhey afe obsessed with. Trust me, we dont get treated better...
My ex do nd sometimes I feel sorry for her cause of the abuse she has to put up with but I don't have to deal with him soooo 🤷🏾♀️
I won’t block him, he send messages, I won’t open them
I told him I am afraid of him and to leave me alone
You should never tell him that now he might not leave u alone. They get s kick out of seeing u in pain.
@@rayray7906true its best to say nothing even though it hurts like hell
NC AND BLOCK ❤
You do not want him to leave you alone. Neither are you afraid of him. Hence why you haven’t blocked him. You want him to reach out. He knows that. He’s still playing you. You’re a game to him.
@@motowngirl5891 You should definitely block him! You don't need this kind of energy in your life.
Maaaan!! The person I know was/ is obsessed with his ex wife. He filed for divorce, kicked her out of the house to a different city. Turned around and stalked her with a tracking device. She eventually moved back because she is jobless and homeless. She is just as dependent on him and he is obsessed with her. He talked about her incessantly (good and very bad). There were times that I got so pissed off and sick of hearing about her. Later I found out they both still engage in hard drugs. (Add addiction to obsession) I guess they are made for each other. He can cheat and abuse her since they are back together. Guess I dodged that bullet.
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Yes they have a certain person themselves sign Cynthia Smith
Block or ignore?
Yes! ❤🥁🙂
🙌🏾
Definitely the moon especially if she enables and a bit narc her damn self
Oh my x talks about me all the time
Yep that is a "love interest ...me"
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Is the favorite one the one that loved them the most, or the most toxic one, what would make them the favorite??
Stop trying to find out how to take this personally lol it probably changes from person to person. Whoever supports their grandiosity in whatever way appeals to that person the most probably. Who knows. This person is vile, please remember how terrible they were.
His MON
💯🎯‼️
How do you know I am a guy friend favorite person?
Please share contact information for your ex. Asking for a narc…
Ha!!
My x has a toxic partner
Will a narcissist still see you as a possession after they did a smearcampaign on you and you both have no contact?
it really depends
Pray that they don't! 🙏
💯
Narcs are they’re own fav person, to them, they’re the greatest thing in the world, 🤦🏼♀️ 🤣 pitiful 😂 I don’t even count the time I had with this x narc a memory in my life, it was just a bad judgement call and bad decision I made feeling sorry for this con artist low life ✌️
i dont want to be that ex..please let her move on.... lol
🏃♂️
So my daughter is an overt narcissist she's 36 she's an only child she grew up with two parents in a stable home I was a stay-at-home mom for the most part I did go to work for a while when she was about 8:00 but I'm told it's because she was spoiled and given everything and had all my attention and then on the other hand I hear a narcissist start abused so Lee what's your story
What was the other parent like? Not just from your perspective but from other people's observations?
Both can produce narcissists. Either a parent who coddles, spoils, gives everything and never says no (usually while simultaneously not meeting emotional needs), and/or an abusive parent, so the child creates an ego identity around being perfect and above everyone to protect themselves.
Sometimes a weird combination of the above can create a narcissist, but the common thread is the child doesn’t have their deep needs met and/or doesn’t feel safe to be authentic and still be accepted/loved. But almost always a caregiver’s fault.
@@debral9651 he doesn't drink he didn't smoke is Mexican and I only say that to emphasize the culture very family-oriented came to the states legally at 10 bought his first house at 20 that's when we met. A workaholic during the week spent time with her after school but I did mostly most things except for build and her mission in the math I couldn't understand weekend him having eight siblings just about every weekend there was a quinceanera first communion a baptism Etc. And Sundays always spent together parties Parks flea markets Etc more strict than me as a matter of fact if I'm honest I used to cover for her so she didn't get in trouble. And I interfered with his discipline
@@debral9651 but from other people's perspective everybody loved Marcelo his nickname was Marcy brothers sisters all called him for advice as he was the first one to come over and build homes and buy a business and his family like the uncles inputs on the children's raising and other things very likable person I used to go to irritated because nobody thought he had any faults but I lived with him nobody's perfect I mean you know I'm a spender he was a saver LOL
@@SheilaPatterson hello she was never neglected emotionally I was the Kool-Aid house every kid in my house every day in the neighborhood as she wasn't allowed to go to other people's house via my husband and his culture. But I picked her up at least twice a month from school for mother-daughter days the mall get her ears pierced go get pedicures we would go to the park daily take the dogs go pick berries family vacations camping Disneyland I was also in attendance at figure skating gymnastics cheerleading ski Camp brownies I don't know I don't know what you're trying to say bet her emotional needs were met now I did 102 think she did no wrong I was 22 and I did take her side against teachers that I realized now probably were right and she was not being picked on I'm not saying I was perfect but I'm saying I was available everyday all day and she was cuddled and she was kissed and she was validated we read together she was loved
A man’s favorite is his own baby
💯
i miss this dish my ex used to make for me. will you make it if she gives you the recipe? Answer: NO, go home so she can make it for you all the time. I'm never making it. if I do, imma burn it.
Oh my goodness
@@MentalHealness I have a crazy story. My 1st narc just died. I met him at 14. My husband was one too just a are still kind. I have learned a lot. The death brought out a lot. He has been laying in the morgue for almost 2 months cause no one will get him out. So very sad. I knew him when. I recognized or shared a darkness with him, but had grown out of it but didn't really understand how deep it was for him from back in the day. We shared a child who is almost 50. This mental problem is not nice or kind and people need to be educated. Thank you for the work you are doing. It should be taught in school. I'm the leaver. At 16 and at 53. No contact both times without understanding.
Does a narcissist have more then one favorite?
lol I am my ex FP and as a codependant he is my FP . so toxic yall
I enjoy your videos and honesty. I think you would really love reading my book A Dance to Freedom: Your Guide to Liberation from Lies and Illusions. I will send you a free copy if you give me an address to send it to.
883👍Gratiam
Day 1 no contact 😕 it so hard..we cuddled all night last night but I can’t do the constant degradation and emotional abuse.
Red Flaggie! I’m using that! 😂