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Yup. I scrimped and did without for 26 years because “we didn’t have much money” we “cost” my ex so much money. Once I started looking into the finances ($2000 a month for him to eat out) and surprise I discovered an affair. Now I “get” a nice portion of his money each month. I think he really believed I was the one “wasting” money.
She is saving money by buying used clothing for her children at Once Upon A Child while he is eating out every day. She is a lot more financially responsible than he is.
Sort of. She could be making him meals for work & snacks for the way home, but she doesn't. They both have work to do, but they're more than capable of making those changes together.
"I feel like as a man I'm supposed to live below my means," he said, even though he actively lives above his means and has his kids eat HotPockets while he eats out 💀
She is more capable than she thinks she is. Treating him like he’s the “smart one” and finances are “so confusing” to her is going to sink her and her children.
Some people don’t want to work or have to learn a lot. It’s trippy to me but it happens. I agree she has a lot of potential even enough to form a whole career but I don’t think that’s something she wants to
Kids need two smart and informed parents. She's using weaponized incompetence as an excuse. Not that hard to learn how to use a calculator and create a budget. What on earth is she going to do with her family if something happens to him?
My mom did this for years until she learned the hard way my dad was bad with money (Like the people on this channel.) She sucked it up, learned, and started managing the money. Today she's a multi millionaire from her investments, even though they never earned much. So proud of her.
Fr and childcare is something you SHOULD be somewhat choosey about. Like, those people will be raising your child when you're unavailable. Who you choose to do that matters a LOT.
you should watch mouse utopia. and keep in the back of your mind the western trend with SKleading the way is the downfall of modernity, .6kids per female - insane rapid depop. will be 4% current in 4 gens
THIS ⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️💯 I bet if she spent a very short amount of time watching homesteading type videos/ meal prep/ couponing or enveloping videos on UA-cam she could make massive changes in their household. Of course, he’d have to stop spending like he does and get on the same page w her first
@@Beserious795 I have said elsewhere - to me it's wild that she thinks finances are not part of the package of what a stay home mom does. Traditionally women run the day-to-day finances of a household. Sure, women could not have credit cards and before that even own property, men were needed to approve for the bigger purchases, and they would maybe review at the end of the month or whatever, but the day-to-day it was the woman who managed the finances!
@@Beserious795 that would require him to stop saying: "Your food sucks" and then order doordash. And it would require her to stop letting the d-head do it as well.
@@rtre957literally, this is what happens in Japan, the husband deposits his pay check to his wife & she will give HIM an allowance of disposable income
To be honest, idk how long it is even going to make sense for her to stay home. Western countries have a huge leg up over other countries because both genders participate in the economy. Families having a single earner is like fighting with one arm tied behind your back. You have lower savings and only a single retirement and you don’t benefit from the career progression and higher income potential of two parents. No college savings, no vacation budget, and you are more likely to borrow against your assets to make emergency spending needs.
Money is a myth or at least has dropped significantly. Last I checked now its "irreconcilable differences" which most of the time means the wife cheated Communication which encompasses all issues Then the lie that is finances because getting divorced will hurt your finances most of the time if you're a man.
He is a complete moron but trust me she's no better. I guarantee you it's half and half. sometimes she's willing to cook other time she's like I've been watching these two babies all day can you please just pick something up on your way home. it's not all him, it's obvious
I get why she gets her coffee, she’s at home alone with two kids it’s probably her chance to get out of the house and if he’s getting food out all the time she can get some fancy sugary coffee every once in a while. We all know she is not the problem here other than being willfully ignorant of their finances
Not when they're in the shape they're in. She can make sugary frozen milkshakes for everyone in the family for what she spends on ONE Starbucks garbage drink. And THEY CHOSE the life they're living. Don't want to be home all day with two toddlers? DON'T have them! And him being a moron isn't justification for her being one too. That's just double stupid.
@@lesliep7167 Wow how helpful 🙄 I hate when people say stupid things like this. SO now that she has the kids, what the fuck do you expect her to do? Realistically.
Dude it was the same in my marriage I spend money on the kids he spend money on himself And I was the problem Like he literally stopped at the gasstation every day for taquitos and spend 400€ on one shirt Now I have a lot less money but I am better off😅
@@m1sh474a singular study almost means nothing due to potential funding bias, whether it was even conducted properly or peer reviewed! Find meta analysis’ of such which complies all data, looks at bias, analyses and concludes all info/data given to provide an outcome of said meta analysis
Almost 1400 on BS he spent. Absolutely insane. I’m sure she made up some of that. But like $300 off is still $1100 which is still a huge portion just in HIM alone
So Little Lord Babyface here is off work by 2-3pm, goofs off the rest of the day, orders door dash for himself at night while she's asleep, and leaves the trash in the living room for her to clean up? These two are a total mess but that part really set my blood pressure off 😫
HIM: gaslights his wife into thinking she's too dumb to understand their finances and that it would be a burden on her, spends money everyday getting juices, Starbucks, chips and bs at the gas station, eats fast food after work everyday and gets door dash when his wife is asleep, refuses to eat what his wife cooks at home with groceries and insists he should eat out instead because he "gets really hungry after working an 8 hour day", cash advances his wages every month, blames their debt and out-of-control spending on his wife, bought an expensive unnecessary car to accommodate a potential 3rd child that they can't afford and will probably endanger the life of his wife due to pregnancy complications but doesnt even use the car to transport the kids in anyway, won't let his wife eat out when there's nothing at home suitable to feed young children saying hotpockets are suitable for babies HER: accidentally spent $100 on adobe one time 41 minutes in and I think I can see where the problem lies here...
Shes not an infant. Nobody gaslit her. She didn't want to do anything about it. He only cash advanced $100 that isn't needed at all because between the two of them they are wasting thousands in comfort food. He doesn't need any damn juice or coffee. She should be working with him to cook food in advance so he doesn't have to think about it at work. The problem is they are living above their means. They didn't need a new vehicle. They didn't need to keep paying on an old car either. If he's not driving he doesn't need a vehicle at all. He could be dropped off at work and he could ride with coworkers. He could be driving a damn scooter or a motorcycle and not spend thousands. She also could have been getting paid to work on jobs at home that do not require being on the phone. Shes probably spending a ton of money on online games. They didn't go into the cell phone usage either.
@@Deneteus HE* is spending their money on fast food that they CANNOT afford and hoarding his money while his INFANTS have to eat hot pockets and she thinks they have less than they do. He will be a fat alcoholic and his kids will be malnourished in no time. All of the reckless spending (the fcking car and $900 of food on top of groceries) was HIM. Behind her back
and by the sounds of it has a meal cooked for him at home, yet must get food before getting home!!1! (long commute to work??) - surely she'd also feel a bit upset that he's not around for that/eating what she's making etc.
That guy is a lousy 'household leader', spends like a drunken sailor on himself while barely having money left for the family at home who entirely depend on him.
And then males throw a tantrum because women don't "let them lead". People have to trust you to let you lead them, but most of these people will lead you into poverty.
I think I have to agree with this from the financial aspect . It seems he feels like he should treat himself and enjoy his money because he works 8 hours, but he is treating himself way too much, which comes at the expense of his family. He's also making bad financial decisions. If he wants her not to work, and them to have more kids and to live a prosperous life he needs to either let her help with the finances or do a better job with doing it himself and managing himself as a person.
He does need to find out how to budget, his planning is not good enough. In fact both need to do that, because in order to go the same direction they need to understand their finances.
Bro this is like every married zoomer right now. Like fuck off. Their is steps to getting to family income. Not just drop a kid in a debra at McDonald’s 😂
@@ryan-rk3fshe manages a restaurant and only works 40hrs pw. He definitely has time to meal prep and can take advantage of free food at his work. Dumb dumb dumb.
@@zaynmalice7106 Just because you work in a restaurant doesn't mean you get free food. Been in the restaurant business my entire life and the only time we got "free food" was way earlier in my life when I was working at a buffet. Otherwise you're required to pay for your food. Also 40 hours a week is full-time, so the only way he can get extra time/over time is if his boss offers it to him. You don't decide for yourself that you're going to work overtime. I'm really curious where you got these points/how you arrived at them because neither one of them proves anything. Also him being the restaurant manager still means that there's a boss over him, which is why he would still have to abide by all the same rules as all the other employees. All of this is very well known information that any one who has ever worked in a handful of restaurants would know. Also what about the wife? She's at home all day long. Why can't he just buy groceries at the end of his shift and then SHE does the meal prep while sitting at home?
YOu know that the majority of people on earth have no savings - having saving is rare. And the people in charge don't want you to have savings, they want you to be constantly desperate for money and be able to do anything to get it and compete for it, they don't want people to be comfortable.
Honestly they have debt and alot of it but not to say they living bad. Just need to be an adult more and stop spending like kids with no responsibility. Many millions in our country are like this. Zero concept of what it takes to raise children and how much money it truly takes to live comfortably. But the reality is tons of Americans are forced to live this way he makes above 50k a year and the average pay in the USA is 34k who's perception off now. Seems like most ppl in these comment sections. Easy to say someone is messing up if you have never experienced low income in reality.
It kills me that she blames public education for her not knowing anything about finances but he clearly didn't learn anything useful about it from being home schooled either and has just been pretending to know things whilst getting them deeper and deeper into debt.
True, he was too confident and didnt understand enough about interest rates and debt. She screams learned helplessness, she needs to get involved and also keep her man in check. he is young and immature and definitely needs it to grow.
What don’t you get about the fact that I am a full-time I mean part-time I mean substitute teacher And a full-time actress and singer, who is just breaking into the business I don’t know anything about the projects that I am actually getting paid for but I am working at Domino’s and Uber driving even though I just got fired from Domino’s and have no idea how much I make in Uber tips…
They’re so young they don’t even have a sense of time yet. When they started talking about a third kid and said “No time soon” i thought they meant 3-5 years not 1!!
Its literally insane that they could wait EIGHT YEARS to have another child and still BARLEY hit the median age for having your FIRST kid in most western countries 😮😂😂
@@countrymusicandcher8593just as being like the average American when it comes to debt and consumer spending is not a good thing, nor is waiting that long to have kids.
40 hour work week is average He's acting like he is slaving away, working 8 hours a day at a place where he probably gets a lunch break. Meanwhile, wife is 24/7 taking care of kids and house. They are supposed to be equal partners
It doesnt work unless she starts working part time, and he helps out around the house as well. but if she wants to be a trad wife, she needs to start learning how to cook, which it sounds like she doesnt do very well. but most of this is his behavioural issues, and perhaps learned helplessness from her. he needs someone to keep him in check to grow out of this. which i hope caleb helped with
Ikr. I laughed out loud at that. Mf......try slinging a chainsaw, hunched over a rock saw, running wheelbarrows of material uphill, shoveling snow, or even just running around with a weed Wacker 15hrs a day 6days a week and 8 on the seventh day....... telling Charlie he needs to cook the chicken longer, making sure the new soda cups are ordered, and autofilling a schedule so that Janet gets her nieces birthday off is not a brutal job. Sure kids have the ability to make everything stressful, but either adapt and teach them the right way or learn to keep your gear wrapped.
The subtle rage in her eyes when Caleb said the husbands spending on going out to eat would have covered the credid card payments that he took a LOAN out to pay....ooof
As a father of a daughter, I will feel that I have failed as a father if my daughter ever says "personal finance is just really confusing" as an adult.
@@ma.2099 girl math is a joke that is literally about how women justify making poor financial decision. Girl math is thinking you saved money when something is 50% when u r still spending. Ppl joke around abt it, anyone who takes it seriously does not understand the concept of “girl math”
I wondered why nobody suggested this. Even 1 extra kid, which she's done in the past would probably bring in at least $400-500/month. Especially sine the couple reports decent daycare would cost $2400/month for 2 kids.
Yes yes! I was so surprised they didn't go into that further. She can watch other kids in her home like she did for her nephew. So much better than driving an hour away for gma to babysit to earn minimum wage...not good.
Him denying her a meal out for being tired with the kids and not wanting to cook but deciding to get his own meals out multiple times a day lol and then her in the beginning thinking she’s the one with the spending problem when three retailers on the pink highlights were hers
If I get take out, so does my wife. I don't think twice about it. I'll ask what she wants and grab it. Fair is fair lol. He'll I'll grab takeout for her even when I eat at home. She might crave something from the outside world when I am just wanting a ham sandwich. This whole seperate this and that thing is weird. Being married is like being both people at the same time. Equal say, no secrets, and the spouse is always and automatically considered at all times. Personally I cut back on frivolous things so I can spoil my wife, but she doesn't expect that.
That 40yr old mom was way more mature than the 25yr old divorced mom who lives out of her car and has a warrant out for her arrest in Missouri, and begs for money on Twitter while her kid lives with her mom in a hotel
lol the 25 year old living out of her car, I mean “Car Camping,” wasn’t even divorced. She just Fu*ked off out of town and was still mooching her ‘husband’ for money. Classy.
@@InnocuousInes-pe8mkyep. Fathers need to teach their daughters that this is a man you shouldn't even make eye contact with. This manlet is the enemy of masculinity.
I cannot fathom having two children, being in massive debt, and continuing to purchase Doritos and beer from a gas station every day. This kid's father failed him.
To be fair, a present father that’s in debt is much better than a father out of the picture - you can’t inherit debt. Children don’t need cash they need support imo
He hasn't failed. He doesn't know any better, but luckily there is still time. Hopefully this interaction with a financial advisor will encourage a change for the better.
@@suzbone Like I get they are probably trying to do things on their own. But was there any consulting? Where was the family or someone to look out for them?
@@koodersalad427 Amen to that. While it could be that they're a couple of stubborn little shits who can't stand taking advice specifically from family, I feel it's FAR more likely that both of their families seriously failed them in a lot of ways.
That’s such projection, PERIOD! You and I have no clue how this couple is aside from this one hour glimpse into their finances. Stop judging a book by its cover.
She was sold that he was the right man, from the right church. She just had to be good and he will take care of everything. So damn sad. You could see her world view being crushed.
He thinks he knows more than he does. But doesnt have the maturity to see what giving up for your family really is. Saying the grocery budget is too high when it feeds his own kids, meanwhile hes eating out. Selfish!!
Totally agree. Anytime fast food is higher or even close to groceries ESPECIALLY with kids. There is a definite problem. Only made worse by the fact it's only for himself.
makes me think each and every episode is actually not a financial crisis, but more like a pathological behavioral defect where the subjects cannot for the life of them WANT to actually LIVE, but rather delude themselves out of existence.
@@SlytherinsConspiracieswelcome to finance 😂 Also, everyone needs to remember, this is really common in these situations. This your man is used to being the most mature person in his friend group. He is very mature for a 23 year old. He’s also 23 and still immature overall. I know this story because it was mine too. My wife and I are in a wonderful spot now and we are so grateful we took the hard road like these young people but it was extremely hard and very painful at times. That’s how you learn though. Life’s not pretty, it’s beautiful
She needs to take accountability and stop relying on someone because it’s stressful. They both decided to have children they both should work and figure out childcare. You adapt you don’t just say “well I can’t “
@@montoya26 Working or not doesn't matter. My mum is a stay-at-home mum and she has always had a metal grip on our finances, even more so than my dad. It's not a matter of being more or less intelligent than him (it's toxic tk make this kind of paragons, especially jn a couple), but a matter of not wanting to have to deal with problems and using the "intelligence" excuse to avoid them. I used to do it with my brother a lot too, once. If you just say the other is "more intelligent" and let him do all the work because of it, than it's YOUR fault for not being updated of your situation.
@@gauntlettcf5669 My parents have been married over 25 years. Step mom was stay at home until very recently when the last kid is finally grown up and she wanted to fill out her ss. Best believe for all those years she counted every dollar in and out of that household. It really doesn't work unless both people are 100% on the ball. Has to be a partnership not just equaling up to one adult.
@@montoya26He may well have gaslit her into believing that it’s stressful - rather than helping and teaching. But this is because he doesn’t want to expose his poor decisions and mismanagement
This man deliberately gaslighted his wife about their financial situation claiming she doesn’t understand even though he’s running them into the ground with them both clueless blaming each other
@secondfoundation4137 if he has spend those years constantly telling her she wouldn't understand or it's too complicated for her she would internalise that and freely admit its "too confusing". Basically her agreeing to that doesn't disprove the gaslighting accusation, and could feed into it. That being said I also don't think there is enough evidence here to suggest that he is guilty of those accusations either.
@@ronnie5329because he is a horrible man, he financially abuses his family. He clearly has no clue about finances but acts like he’s some financial guru making dumb decisions and getting them deeper into dept 😂
They need marriage counseling. She doesn't realize how serious it is that he says they can't eat out and then proceeds to prioritize himself. And he has an excuse for everything and is blaming her SO much. I don't know is NOT an acceptable answer, it's a deflection. And she is just flat out lying at points. Its just not great between the 2 of them. Please Get Counseling.
Ladies, don’t be clueless about your finances if you’re married even if your husband is the provider! My parents lost their home to foreclosure and my mom didn’t know until the sheriff showed up to evict them
You must’ve never been in a real long term relationship. Her saying “my kids is completely insane, granted, but him saying “my car” is perfectly fine. Everything isn’t shared in relationships, he bought her a car, he can have his own car, doesn’t mean they can’t share if they don’t want to. But not everything is shared in a relationship, is it supposed to be “our” panties? “Our” makeup? “Our” tools? No they can have their own stuff, grow up. That’s what a mature relationship is.
Yeah my wife and I had to cut that out quick. It’s honestly a terrible way to have a marriage. Don’t believe people who sit there and say, “oh we’re 2 different people with our own money”, that does not fly. If you wanted to be individuals, then you shouldn’t have gotten married. I don’t wish this on anyone, but marriages like that tend to fail
It’s not his money to do whatever he wants with. It’s not his house to put a freaking HELOC on to account for his poor habits. It all equally belongs to them both, and he needs to involve her. If she’s really the one who doesn’t want to be involved, which I don’t entirely buy, she needs to put her big girl pants on and tell him to stop spending money every time his heart wants some chicken nuggies or whatever.
She's saving him daycare money, and being she doesn't have a degree to earn higher than that... That is what she's 'earning' for the family 'bring home'.... He thinks he deserves more than her because he 'works' outside the home... Which is gross.
@@Kbru829 Daycare at $2,400/month is over $28,000 per year. She would have make over $35,000 (to pay FICA tax & 15% income tax) just to cover day care expenses. That would leave ZERO $$$ to household budget. She would be better off staying at home & babysitting an extra kid or working at Walmart 10-15 hours per week. Walmart would allow her a little time away from kids & make him take care of the kids for a few hours. I think that would be good for them BOTH!
I've watched a lot of your shorts, but this is the first full-length video I've seen. I appreciated your generally supportive and encouraging tone; it really felt like you met them where they're at and still set firm boundaries on behavior that was out of line and that need to be grown out of. Thanks for the great content!
Bro he never tells her no because she is so far out of his league he knows it's over he doesn't smooch that backside. Edit: NGL there are a couple times he calls her BS on here...but even those times where pointing out how he was a push over. He needs to prepare himself for her to leave him if he tries to instill any fiscal disciple. Look at the face she made when Caleb told her to make coffee and put milk and sugar in it or make a meal. It was as if Caleb told her to dumpster dive for food.
Why do I think that as the watcher of the show, the husband thought he was going to get Caleb to tell the wife to “stop spending so much” and his plan totally backfired??
@@catherine4908his age means nothing. I’ve seen grown ass 40yo+ men who behave this way. My step dad was a POS who behaved similarly. We got married the same year they did, and we’re only two years older. My husband doesn’t talk to me like this. His mother would kick his ass.
This girl needs to realize how smart and capable she actually is. She's doing more for the family financial situation than him. Buying chips EVERY DAY? nah wtf
@@benjaminfranklin329or the crazy idea of just not having a third child 😂 like you can’t live with only two children cause why? You can’t wait for 5 years and actually do it right for the first time 😂
I mean dont have another child until at least one is in a booster seat and get a cheaper car.... 21grand for a van with over 100k on it seems dumb in the first place. The guy doesnt seem like the type to work on his own car.
I wish this couple all the best. The last few guests were combative, highly unlikeable, and bordering on delusional. It's nice to see people who appreciate the help and will actually listen to advice instead of constantly arguing.
They seem like they're listening, sure, but are they actually listening? We don't know. Caleb needs to probe them, ask them questions, let them talk a bit more to expose whether they're actually listening. IMO.
I agree, I wish them the best too. I hope they take Caleb's advice. They have two children, a house, and he has a good job. But they are so immature, even given their very young ages. If they can restrain their spending on unnecessary things, and postpone having a third child until they are in a much more secure position, they could have a very bright future.
@@IAmebAdger It would probably be good for the guests if he asked them to repeat what he just said. Not just at the end when he asks them for a summary of what they will do, but as he goes. It would also be fun for us as we watch them show in 1080HD that they are not understanding anything lol (or give as some real hope that they are getting it)
That is a huge insult to her that she plans the grocery shopping and dinners and he can't even wait until he gets home to eat the meals she cooks?! My husband loves my cooking and I'll even ask what he wants that week so if he's really wanting burgers or tacos I'll plan those into my meals for the week. We do eat out on Fridays so I have a break from cooking once a week and it gets me out of the house and it's a good weekly date night for us
Same here! Although I’m not an amazing chef, actually my husband is the one who loves cooking, I’m more of a baker, but I plan out all the meals for the day and do the grocery shopping, so I always ask what he wants for the week. We eat out occasionally on the weekends but mostly eat home cooked meals and left overs. Planning out your meals for the week really helps save money because going to the grocery store without a plan is dangerous! Lol
When he told her there is food at home like hot pockets, cereal and that stuff I was like bro you are literally eating out multiple times a day on your own without your family. Your doordash in the middle of the night wtf
@@cococock2418this is such a toxic mentality to bring into a marriage 😂 especially a marriage with kids. He works, and she raises his babies. They both work. In a marriage you are one entity. His money is hers, her money is his. The food she makes at home is hers and the food she makes at home is his. The kids she raised are hers and the kids she raises are his. Dear god, please don’t get married and have kids until you realize the roles of parenthood.
Newsflash. He didn’t teach you anything don’t pretend you’re stupid just because they didn’t teach you that in high school your parents should’ve taught you, or you should’ve had some common sense of how it all works.
I don't understand how an 18 year old with no credit can get a 15k limit, meanwhile I just barely got to 15-20k limits on my cards and I make 200k a year with a 780 credit score.
Because you can pay it back, they can't. Banks don't want people to pay the bare minimum. This couple will bring money to the bank for the next 50 years, you'd have paid it back in 5...
I find that weird too. I've always paid my credit card and just hit an 8k limit at 27. To be fair, I've never asked for an increase either and that's just the automatic limit increases.
I believe Chase often does this, they did for me and my friends at 18. lol (without any prior credit or being on a parent’s plan, I got a 16k limit on my first card with them)
How is he going to be upset that she accidentally signed up for photoshop and HAD to say it was like $100 a month.. Like my brother in christ you are spending that ON CHIPS..ON PURPOSE!!!
Literally, and saying that she and the kids can't eat out while he stops on his way home and freaking orders door dash AFTER she goes to bed is wild. Like he's intentionally waiting for her to go to bed so he doesn't have to buy her anything. Wild
I think this EP made me the most upset at any guest! Not to mention the ONE example he could give of her not wanting to cook dinner. I think we can all agree there are nights where we dont have the energy to cook, esp after taking care of little ones AND knowing your husband stops and gets WHATEVER he wants.. Id be resentful and wouldnt care about cooking dinner. All the financial sacrifices shouldn't come from just one partner. @@rosie20098
Wife: We needed groceries Dumb selfish husband: We have hot pockets and Mac and cheese at home Excuse me, Mr. “I get fast food everyday for only myself” So, only you get a fast food meal while your family scavenges at home. Nope, my anger would never put up with that.
@@ll2323Unfortunately many modern couples are stuck like this. Working retail the number of couples I’ve seen argue with their partner for buying basic items is embarrassing and sad.
It is scary! My husband would never guilt me over feeding myself and our children, and if I ever told him there was no food at home, he would get us food, no questions asked! His behavior is disgusting. 😤 My husband would never "treat" himself at the detriment of his family. GROSS! This dudde is no man.
his constant smiling as his indiscretions are revealed is obnoxious. i would have called him out on that repeatedly. he has convinced her it is too complicated for her to understand because he is messing up and causing the complications. bet he is embarrassed and doesn't want her to know
That’s the feeling I got, right from the first few minutes. He knows he isn’t being responsible with money, and he knows he hasn’t been honest with her. He’s afraid of his behavior being brought to light.
Ladies, don't let society convince you that you aren't smart enough to learn finances. If you give up control to someone else, there is a chance that they might also not be good at finances and just pretend like they are. Finance knowledge isn't something you're born with, it's something you learn and anyone can learn it. If you want to stay home with the kids and not work, all power to you, but you don't need to put on blinders to the household finances because that's your money too and you have the right to know what's going on. Just because someone is the breadwinner of the home doesn't necessarily mean they know how to manage it.
It definitely doesn’t seem like she let “sOcIeTy” convince her she doesn’t need to know finances- it just sounds like she wasn’t interested in learning because she prefers to be the homemaker. Tuck that feminism back in your pocket lmao
@@GetOfflineGetGoodexactly! that is exactly why it's important for women to have a general education and job experience even if they plan on being a SAHM, life is crazy unexpected and unfortunately it's oftentimes in the worst way
Holy cow, the amount of times this 23 year old said "I don't know" to Caleb's questions and then says "I know" as soon as Caleb gives him the answer just shows that no matter how mature he thinks he is, he is still a child and chooses to be oblivious to the effects of his own choices
This is SCARY. Having 2 kids and a home on a $50k salary is absolutely insane. Thinking you can afford to use DoorDash and Starbucks when you have $120 in your checking account? You've gotta be kidding me.
I know ppl who have 1 income no debt and 5 kids based on the job I estimate they earn 70k they go on vacations every year etc. 2 kids and 50k is doable but without debt
Yep. That's exactly what I thought too. What happens when the baby gets an ear infection and you can't afford the copay OR the ear drops that are prescribed? Or both kids get them at once? I can't imagine thinking any of this was a good idea for them. I have a feeling the husband has been lying to his wife for a long time about their finances, and she bought it all hook line and sinker. I mean there's no way he is THAT good in bed.
It's very doable if you're responsible with the money but they are not! And I'm not just saying this I'm literally living it and we are very comfortable plus we live in an expensive city!
@@pinkisforpimps brother they have 2 cars. they need one with two kids. the wife can use the car when he comes back from work to do whatever she needs.
@@miketexas4549 Let's agree that if you are an healthy teenager (who is moderately active), you can get away with a lot more bad food decisions than when you are 30. It's not okay, and certainly not 'good', but it is not going to give you heartburn or make you feel like crap for a day or two.
@@rtre957 But you're not "getting away with it," even at a young and vibrant age - you are taking damage. It's a cumulative effect.. did you know that dementia is now being called type 3 diabetes? You don't just wake up one day chronically unhealthy, you become so through a series of thousands of bad choices, and it's almost entirely centered around nutrition.
@@rtre957 But you're not "getting away with it," even at a young and vibrant age - you are taking damage. It's a cumulative effect.. did you know that dementia is now being called type 3 diabetes? You don't just wake up one day chronically unhealthy, you become so through a series of thousands of bad choices, and it's almost entirely centered around nutrition.
As someone who has experience with pre-marital counseling and counseling in general, the lack of communication and teamwork here is most alarming. I know the financial element is your bag, but these two need to really open up the lines of communication about not only finances, but literally everything else. Somebody else mentioned the "my" not the "our" language which is definitely a red flag, but if they're not communicating about finances, they're not communicating about other things. It's my hope that this financial help gets them talking and on board with one another for their marriage's sake, and for their children.
Even if you have the best most loyal and hardworking spouse of all time, they could still drop dead tomorrow. You should ALWAYS know the state of your finances.
Anyone who supports a family should get life insurance. At this kids age, a million dollar term policy would probably be like $50 a month Edit to emphasize - get TERM life insurance, not a whole life policy
Oldest is 2.5yrs, second is 14 mo. She is 22, him 23, she says first kid wasn't planned..... HOW TF DO YOU PLAN A CHILD AT 19 RIGHT OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL WITH NO MONEY
Caleb sounds more relaxed and centered than the last few I watched. Good to hear you back in the zone where you might get frustrated, express where problems are, but aren't being quite as...on the offense. I usually really enjoy your content, but I had to stop watching episodes for a while. This was much better. Your heart seems to be back in it. Good to see you back to form. 😊
To be fair, these guests were actually sane. A bit foolish with eating out, but sane. The car living person and the angry pop star wanna be were both mad as a hatter.
True, he has some real intense guests, and I wasn't able to finish the insanity of a several of those and was avoiding him in my feed, but when I checked in and saw him on the offense at the start with a foolish but normal guest, I got worried about him. Maybe it was the stress of the new office or a production decision to boost drama. I don't know. This comment was mainly to let him know this style was liked provide positive reinforcement if it is a stress reduction or production decision as I am greedy and want to see more like this.😅 Anyway, hope you have a good day.
It’s because the producers gave him someone who wasnt a delusional shithead. This is all any of the people on Reddit that Caleb complained about wanted. They just wanted people who weren’t clearly clout chasers or drama dumps.
She needs to take over the finances and just give him 20 bucks a week cash and thats it! I guarantee she could have them turned around in 2 years. I really think she will rock the budgeting course. She looks terrified that the money is so bad and you could tell she cared. He is more interested in his snacks than his kids.
Nah. They both have bad habits and they both need to make those changes together. The situation you proposed is just as disastrous as their current one. I'm not sure if you're married, but I'd guess you aren't. You still think like a single/dating person. Togetherness is what makes the relationship last, build, and be a betterment to each partner.
@@bbbbbbb51 been happily married 26 years. Would be much better if they worked together after they get out of debt but he needs to prove he wants it by letting her get them out. Then slowly work together to manage their money after the debt is gone. You could tell she was freaked out and felt she had no control over things. In a relationship when trust has been broken you have to earn it back over time and let the other person help you a while.
@@bbbbbbb51 They can do it together but if he doesn't have the self control and integrity to not spend on unnecessary money on his way home then yes 20 in cash so he can see what he's spending and force him to really consider if its worth what he's trying to buy. And she can manage the money as long she keeps him in the loop. She seems to have a better idea of what it takes to manage the house hold and if she is more concerned about the money she may do a better job of managing it, she just needs all the information. Each couple is different, but whoever is better at finances should take the lead and both should work on saying no and tightening thier belts when needed. The person taking the lead is still responsible for being transparent with thier spouse about where every penny is going, why and making sure they stay on track with thier financial goals. He's had a chance to manage the finances and set a budget and he didn't do so with transparency so it might as well be her turn to take lead in this area.
"Planning a child" shouldn't only mean that you wanted a child and agreed to have one with someone. They didn't financially plan for either of their kids from what it seems.
@@danladd4764That’s not true. If you think about it for one second, it should sound ridiculous. You think the average person is paying $32k per kid? That’s the hospital bill and then most people have insurance that covers the vast majority.
@@danladd4764definitely not an average of 32k out of pocket. That might be for uninsured, but average insurance deductible is going to be probably $3k to $7500. That’s still a lot, just that what you are saying is inherently false. Also anyone spending $42k a year per kid is doing something wrong 😂. By your logic over half the population of the United States doesn’t even make enough money to cover just the kid costs 😂.
@@NerdyOutdoorVeteranit is expensive to have kids if you pay for hospital bills (no insurance) and if you add daycare costs (daycare is more expensive than college in some places). Other than that, you can keep costs fairly low if you get free/cheap baby stuff from other people (pretty easy to find) and mostly breastfeed (formula is expensive, breastfeeding is mostly free).
Let alone everything else, the disrespect of him telling her they cant eat out, but knowing shes cooking at home but stopping for junk anyway. Really he cant wait half an hour driving home to eat??
He didn’t even tell her she couldn’t eat out. He told her she couldn’t go grocery shopping. Which is 100x worse considering all their money is funding his addiction to eating out.
@@Jake38nineshe’s a stay at home mom, she’s kinda vulnerable and probably overdue to have the financials brought up on an accountability front. She needs to be more involved to avoid being dependent/trapped if things went south
@Jake38nine he's keeping her in the dark to the point she doesn't even know if she can afford certain purchases. She's also in the more vulnerable position- she's losing potential earnings by staying at home, and he's not being transparent on finances meaning she has next to no control over budgeting or non-basic purchases
@@Jake38nine Not true. She started out saying she's the spender and had to be pushed to agree that he has a spending problem, too. You're clearly biased against women and not hearing her/reality.
I'm so hung up on dad wants to "be the man/provider" but can't control having to stop 10x a day for fast food while his stay at home mom says "there's no food in the house" but has a 3 row van and the time to plan / do their grocery shopping every week. I hope maturing does them some good and helps get them on the right path. They should put that property to good use and start a veg garden.
When she said she wakes up in the middle of the night for the kids and he said "no I do that", she gave him a VERY "why would you call me out like that" look
The husband keeps saying “We” but he made essentially all of these decisions…. You can see her face change throughout the audit as she realizes that he’s been concealing how he's been tanking her financial future
If he works 8 hours a day and goes in at 6am like he said.. he’s done by 2pm and probably home by 2:30? She can easily get a job with an afternoon shift 3-9pm or even a service job working the dinner shift 2-3 nights a week. There are so many options if he’s home that early! I wish Caleb didn’t miss this
the solution is REELING in the SPENDING-- NOT tearing their marriage further apart and creating more stress by just upping the INCOME where now both work and less time together and/or with their own kids.
@@classics-wz1bz It is also true however that for her to build some working years is likely good for her retirement or if she needs to get benefits in the future. She also needs to get active on researching what the state can do for them, especially for her if she doesn't plan to work (again, retirement)
Hot pockets and mac and cheese should never be an acceptable dinner for your kids, as a dad. This guy is clueless and blames everything on his wife, and the wife blindly trusts him.
@mulletsquirrel It's not that he said that out of necessity; it's the hypocrisy that makes his suggestion terrible. I've survived off of basically crumbs before, too, and it is absolutely better than nothing. However, when this guy is getting all of his food out, it's outrageous to then turn around and say that the children can eat the cheap, heavily processed food with no vegetables.
@@mulletsquirrel Well you shouldn't have children if you can't afford to give them the food they need to grow properly. I will admit that my child absolutely ate hot pockets and mac and cheese though. But there were veggies and fruit served with every meal and veggies in the mac and cheese always lol.
So not only does he get door dash while she is sleeping BUT HE DOESN'T EVEN CLEAN IT UP AND LEAVES IT ON THE COUCH. ugh she needs to respect herself more
@@louiseerbslisbjerg7854 he is. He’s financially abusive, at the absolute least. Also, telling his wife “there’s food in the house,” when the food is hot pockets and Mac and cheese is like its own category of abuse. Like neglect.
My ex did it too, pure narcissistic behavior (my ex husband has been diagnosed : pathological lyer, psychopath and narcissistic by a psychiatrist and neurologist
When the guy justifies his fast food spending cuz he “works” all day…like buddy your wife is home with two toddlers all day, do you think she’s not working???
Also, I'll never get behind this outdated mentality certain men have where they want their spouses to potentially remain unemployed at home. Have they not heard of remote work? This economy is far too inflated and overpriced for any household to rely on a single source of income (unless the head of the household happens to be a rich CEO or something).
Unfortunately, I'm seeing that as "fun" as it is to see Caleb jump in. I'm starting to realize this is one of his downfalls. He doesn't build enough raport with them to dig in as hard and fast as he does. In order to make the tough love work. They need to feel like you give a shit
@@WhiteRhino. I'm sure they spend time in the studio before getting grilled, though. They signed up for this, and sometimes a hard reality check and not dancing around the subject helps.
This couple is not on the same page at all. He said it all when he spoke about the hard water ruining everything in “my house.” “My toilets, my showers, my tiles.”
@@BradDiBenedetto Yes, when she said 'my kids' when explaining the ages I thought maybe they were just her kids and that he was a stepfather... which I would admire him for but turns out he is the father so her use of 'my' was so weird.
@@moneymike2397 In theory you are correct, however in this case I would tend to lean more towards them just being very awkward and assuming crazy gender roles. He seemed like the kind of guy that would point out in a heartbeat that they weren’t his kids, if that was the case
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It's Paddy, not Patty.
Yeah calling it st pattys day is so cringe.
@@FMeister94 Let me guess. You also spell colour “C O L O R” ….. so cringe.
@@CapitalThrift But Patrick is spelled with a t, not Padrick
I love the Kiss me I have an emergency fund shirt 😂
Finally some people who actually seem like they're not here for clout.
They were so calm and collected. Massively refreshing
SO AGREE... Refreshing and sound innocent just learning life ahah
I think they got caught early enough in their nonsense that they've got hope to change for the better
No kidding, seems like someone wanting the help without being defensive or argumentative at any criticism
Finally, some people who don't seem crazy. Just young, keep working at it.
I love how he said "she's the spender" and literally most of the money spent is 90% him.
She’d see that if she was more involved in the finances
It’s probably what he tells her. Plus the guilt that she doesn’t bring in any money
@Juann-je8gq She may think that but, most of the problem with spending is him. Blowing all the money on fast food..
Yup. I scrimped and did without for 26 years because “we didn’t have much money” we “cost” my ex so much money. Once I started looking into the finances ($2000 a month for him to eat out) and surprise I discovered an affair. Now I “get” a nice portion of his money each month. I think he really believed I was the one “wasting” money.
And that's the problem when you give up financial independence
She is saving money by buying used clothing for her children at Once Upon A Child while he is eating out every day. She is a lot more financially responsible than he is.
Sort of. She could be making him meals for work & snacks for the way home, but she doesn't. They both have work to do, but they're more than capable of making those changes together.
Why should she make him food when, she is already taking care of the kids?
She does tho. It was in the video. She prepares him food which he does not eat because he likes DoorDash better.
@@bbbbbbb51 hes an adult who can make his own lunch, not another of her toddlers/babies.
He is the child he looks as. She simply has 3 children.
"I feel like as a man I'm supposed to live below my means," he said, even though he actively lives above his means and has his kids eat HotPockets while he eats out 💀
Yeah, his hypocrisy and his lack of self awareness are breathtaking. The kid's a narcissist, complete with the gaslighting he's been doing to her.
Yep reminds me of my father. He’s a narcissist.
She is more capable than she thinks she is. Treating him like he’s the “smart one” and finances are “so confusing” to her is going to sink her and her children.
Some people don’t want to work or have to learn a lot. It’s trippy to me but it happens. I agree she has a lot of potential even enough to form a whole career but I don’t think that’s something she wants to
Kids need two smart and informed parents. She's using weaponized incompetence as an excuse. Not that hard to learn how to use a calculator and create a budget. What on earth is she going to do with her family if something happens to him?
She’s setting herself for serious financial abuse
My mom did this for years until she learned the hard way my dad was bad with money (Like the people on this channel.) She sucked it up, learned, and started managing the money. Today she's a multi millionaire from her investments, even though they never earned much. So proud of her.
It’s “weaponized incompetence” from her.
Going for a third high risk pregnancy with two little ones at home, no health insurance, no money and a clueless second parent is wild.
They have ACA insurance (discussed at 43:00). That's one reason he's hesitant to side hustle - make more, and their subsidy will decrease😟
Yeah, but when people wait until they’re older and smarter, they don’t have enough kids Lol
Nothing about that is WILD
@@sanjicook08 yes it is WILD when she could potentially DIE and leave her children motherelss with just the father. Yes, indeed it is WILD.
@@sanjicook08yeah that's incredibly stupid to do. It was stupid of them to even have the second kid.
“I will say she’s picky about which daycare” says the dude who’s too picky for supermarket chips…
No BUT LITERALLY!! Bro would rather send $2 on a bag of air at the gas station DAILY when a $5 bag at the store would last at least a week
Fr and childcare is something you SHOULD be somewhat choosey about. Like, those people will be raising your child when you're unavailable. Who you choose to do that matters a LOT.
@@xxbeccabrutalityxx7873 UNLESS you are a stay at home mom....
@@joanpearl7184 What? She said that she offered to go to work, that was the reason for the daycare.
@@greciarojas1799some people like to hear themselves talk
I feel bad for her. It’s obvious she went from living with family to immediately living with a husband/kids. She has no idea how capable she is.
She is a very capable mother. She clearly loves her kids very much.
you should watch mouse utopia.
and keep in the back of your mind the western trend with SKleading the way is the downfall of modernity, .6kids per female - insane rapid depop. will be 4% current in 4 gens
She even said she enjoys/prefers watching over her kids and house
@@vbrown4610that does not matter at all. She thinks she’s less capable
@@LunaDarkFallno she doesn't what did she say to make u even think that
This nice young couple's problem is that their traditional family lifestyle has no traditional family frugality
THIS ⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️💯 I bet if she spent a very short amount of time watching homesteading type videos/ meal prep/ couponing or enveloping videos on UA-cam she could make massive changes in their household. Of course, he’d have to stop spending like he does and get on the same page w her first
@@Beserious795 I have said elsewhere - to me it's wild that she thinks finances are not part of the package of what a stay home mom does.
Traditionally women run the day-to-day finances of a household. Sure, women could not have credit cards and before that even own property, men were needed to approve for the bigger purchases, and they would maybe review at the end of the month or whatever, but the day-to-day it was the woman who managed the finances!
@@Beserious795 that would require him to stop saying: "Your food sucks" and then order doordash.
And it would require her to stop letting the d-head do it as well.
@@rtre957literally, this is what happens in Japan, the husband deposits his pay check to his wife & she will give HIM an allowance of disposable income
To be honest, idk how long it is even going to make sense for her to stay home. Western countries have a huge leg up over other countries because both genders participate in the economy. Families having a single earner is like fighting with one arm tied behind your back. You have lower savings and only a single retirement and you don’t benefit from the career progression and higher income potential of two parents. No college savings, no vacation budget, and you are more likely to borrow against your assets to make emergency spending needs.
"Our communication is very good, aside from the one aspect that is *literally the most common reason for divorce* ."
Money and s e x, most common reasons for divorce and a lot of other crimes from theft to un-aliving.
@@joelwillems4081 But a sex problem usually stems from lack of communication.
Technically second most. But you can be WAY more proactive about finances than preventing your partner from being a ho
Money is a myth or at least has dropped significantly.
Last I checked now its "irreconcilable differences" which most of the time means the wife cheated
Communication which encompasses all issues
Then the lie that is finances because getting divorced will hurt your finances most of the time if you're a man.
Also
Caleb: " when you guys talk is his answer always I don't know "
Her : "yes it is "
Sounds like they have clear and open communication
The audacity for him to tell her they have “food at home” but he’s getting Starbucks, fast food, beer and Doritos, and/or DoorDash daily?!?
He is a complete moron but trust me she's no better. I guarantee you it's half and half. sometimes she's willing to cook other time she's like I've been watching these two babies all day can you please just pick something up on your way home. it's not all him, it's obvious
I was thinking the same - he was like "There's hot pockets" 💀dude, what?
@@klgonzalezful yeah he meant for BOTH of them to eat that night.
She probably can’t cook… I would
Seriously. What a jerk.
I get why she gets her coffee, she’s at home alone with two kids it’s probably her chance to get out of the house and if he’s getting food out all the time she can get some fancy sugary coffee every once in a while. We all know she is not the problem here other than being willfully ignorant of their finances
Sounds like it’s her only small pleasure while he’s a junk food junkie.
Not when they're in the shape they're in. She can make sugary frozen milkshakes for everyone in the family for what she spends on ONE Starbucks garbage drink. And THEY CHOSE the life they're living. Don't want to be home all day with two toddlers? DON'T have them! And him being a moron isn't justification for her being one too. That's just double stupid.
@@lesliep7167i fear you missed the point that the husband is responsible …
@@lesliep7167So she has to fix her behavior because him being a moron doesn't excuse her, what's excusing him from his worse habits…?
@@lesliep7167 Wow how helpful 🙄 I hate when people say stupid things like this. SO now that she has the kids, what the fuck do you expect her to do? Realistically.
These kids finally have an adult in the room so they are snitching on each other.
Such a good description lmao
Omg 100% they could not wait to tattle on each other LOL
Lol
This😂
“These kids” ThEsE KiDS, 😂 they are adults, but okiee.
I love it when the person who controls the finances thinks their partner is the big spender but in reality, they are.
Dude it was the same in my marriage
I spend money on the kids he spend money on himself
And I was the problem
Like he literally stopped at the gasstation every day for taquitos and spend 400€ on one shirt
Now I have a lot less money but I am better off😅
He did say he spent a lot on small things
She was the one who said she was the spender.
@@janinakoppei read a study showing men spend the money on themselves and women on the house/children
@@m1sh474a singular study almost means nothing due to potential funding bias, whether it was even conducted properly or peer reviewed! Find meta analysis’ of such which complies all data, looks at bias, analyses and concludes all info/data given to provide an outcome of said meta analysis
the way the husband nitpicks her accidentally spending $100 in one month and he purposefully spends thousands a month on useless crap is beyond me
They are going nowhere fast with wo young children in that mix. They need some long term counseling and she needs to get her @ss to work!
@@DianeScottsShe has two babies. Daycare and the added income taxes would leave them negative. You should learn more about finances.
She has two babies. Daycare and added income taxes would leave them negative. The only difference is the babies would be raised by strangers.
3:26 that glance. “My wife is going to find out what’s up today”
Almost 1400 on BS he spent. Absolutely insane. I’m sure she made up some of that. But like $300 off is still $1100 which is still a huge portion just in HIM alone
So Little Lord Babyface here is off work by 2-3pm, goofs off the rest of the day, orders door dash for himself at night while she's asleep, and leaves the trash in the living room for her to clean up?
These two are a total mess but that part really set my blood pressure off 😫
And he's getting cash advances from his job burning 4% every time
Little lord babyface 😂😂😂
Dude could eat fast food 10 days a week instead of 25 and save 200$ a month, the amount of immaturity is crazy
I thought this too! I'd hate and loathe him right quick! His face pisses me off. 😆
HIM: gaslights his wife into thinking she's too dumb to understand their finances and that it would be a burden on her, spends money everyday getting juices, Starbucks, chips and bs at the gas station, eats fast food after work everyday and gets door dash when his wife is asleep, refuses to eat what his wife cooks at home with groceries and insists he should eat out instead because he "gets really hungry after working an 8 hour day", cash advances his wages every month, blames their debt and out-of-control spending on his wife, bought an expensive unnecessary car to accommodate a potential 3rd child that they can't afford and will probably endanger the life of his wife due to pregnancy complications but doesnt even use the car to transport the kids in anyway, won't let his wife eat out when there's nothing at home suitable to feed young children saying hotpockets are suitable for babies
HER: accidentally spent $100 on adobe one time
41 minutes in and I think I can see where the problem lies here...
He’s so horrible thank you for laying it out like this fr. People say sexism isn’t real but the comments prove it very much is.
Shes not an infant. Nobody gaslit her. She didn't want to do anything about it. He only cash advanced $100 that isn't needed at all because between the two of them they are wasting thousands in comfort food. He doesn't need any damn juice or coffee. She should be working with him to cook food in advance so he doesn't have to think about it at work. The problem is they are living above their means. They didn't need a new vehicle. They didn't need to keep paying on an old car either. If he's not driving he doesn't need a vehicle at all. He could be dropped off at work and he could ride with coworkers. He could be driving a damn scooter or a motorcycle and not spend thousands. She also could have been getting paid to work on jobs at home that do not require being on the phone. Shes probably spending a ton of money on online games. They didn't go into the cell phone usage either.
@@Deneteus HE* is spending their money on fast food that they CANNOT afford and hoarding his money while his INFANTS have to eat hot pockets and she thinks they have less than they do. He will be a fat alcoholic and his kids will be malnourished in no time. All of the reckless spending (the fcking car and $900 of food on top of groceries) was HIM. Behind her back
@@Deneteusyou're just... Inventing her spending money on apps though. Like where did you get that from.
what makes you think she was gaslit?!
Even though this couple is pretty awkward, it was soooooo nice to have an episode where the people could actually answer questions directly.
She did, did he though? He just said “I don’t know” to everything
@@Jo-lw5dm hahaha yes you're right. lol! I think I was too excited that it seemed somewhat normal.
Only problem was they gave 2 different answers 😂
This one was one of the least crazy ones we've had in a while. I hope they get their shit together. Rooting for them
It's nice to see a couple that seems to actually like each other. She does need to be more involved and not be all "Christian trad wife" though.
The fact that he gets free food and juice at his store. And he gets fast food and the type of juice that isn't free is freaking crazy.
Facts!! Every food/bevy job I’ve worked, my grocery / eating out bill gets cut in half. It really helps to have a shred of discipline.
He is a self indulgent jerk.Not very bright.He has absolutely no self control.He spends money on crap.
Agreed. Take advantage of benefits.
and by the sounds of it has a meal cooked for him at home, yet must get food before getting home!!1! (long commute to work??) - surely she'd also feel a bit upset that he's not around for that/eating what she's making etc.
That's completely insane
This dude doordashes wingstop while having $100 in his checking account with a family to support, what a POS
Idk if I’d go as far as as saying his a pos but he definitely and financial midget
That guy is a lousy 'household leader', spends like a drunken sailor on himself while barely having money left for the family at home who entirely depend on him.
You got it
She picked him. It's clear he's a pathetic man-child, so it's on her for settling for this zero.
And then males throw a tantrum because women don't "let them lead".
People have to trust you to let you lead them, but most of these people will lead you into poverty.
I think I have to agree with this from the financial aspect . It seems he feels like he should treat himself and enjoy his money because he works 8 hours, but he is treating himself way too much, which comes at the expense of his family. He's also making bad financial decisions.
If he wants her not to work, and them to have more kids and to live a prosperous life he needs to either let her help with the finances or do a better job with doing it himself and managing himself as a person.
He does need to find out how to budget, his planning is not good enough. In fact both need to do that, because in order to go the same direction they need to understand their finances.
Bro has rules for himself and telling his wife that they can't eat out but he eats out every day. That's crazyyyy
Bro this is like every married zoomer right now. Like fuck off. Their is steps to getting to family income. Not just drop a kid in a debra at McDonald’s 😂
Well he’s at work. It’s not that deep.
@@ryan-rk3fshe manages a restaurant and only works 40hrs pw. He definitely has time to meal prep and can take advantage of free food at his work. Dumb dumb dumb.
He doesn't love her. Pure and simple
@@zaynmalice7106 Just because you work in a restaurant doesn't mean you get free food. Been in the restaurant business my entire life and the only time we got "free food" was way earlier in my life when I was working at a buffet. Otherwise you're required to pay for your food. Also 40 hours a week is full-time, so the only way he can get extra time/over time is if his boss offers it to him. You don't decide for yourself that you're going to work overtime.
I'm really curious where you got these points/how you arrived at them because neither one of them proves anything.
Also him being the restaurant manager still means that there's a boss over him, which is why he would still have to abide by all the same rules as all the other employees. All of this is very well known information that any one who has ever worked in a handful of restaurants would know.
Also what about the wife? She's at home all day long. Why can't he just buy groceries at the end of his shift and then SHE does the meal prep while sitting at home?
Having multiple kids with only 500 bucks in the account is terrifying. They are one medical emergency away from bankruptcy.
Not even. $100!!
I get the feeling that mommy and daddy on both sides keep them floating..
YOu know that the majority of people on earth have no savings - having saving is rare.
And the people in charge don't want you to have savings, they want you to be constantly desperate for money and be able to do anything to get it and compete for it, they don't want people to be comfortable.
They flat out cannot afford another child but yet they're planning on another in a year or so. That's so irresponsible!
Honestly they have debt and alot of it but not to say they living bad. Just need to be an adult more and stop spending like kids with no responsibility. Many millions in our country are like this. Zero concept of what it takes to raise children and how much money it truly takes to live comfortably. But the reality is tons of Americans are forced to live this way he makes above 50k a year and the average pay in the USA is 34k who's perception off now. Seems like most ppl in these comment sections. Easy to say someone is messing up if you have never experienced low income in reality.
It kills me that she blames public education for her not knowing anything about finances but he clearly didn't learn anything useful about it from being home schooled either and has just been pretending to know things whilst getting them deeper and deeper into debt.
True, he was too confident and didnt understand enough about interest rates and debt. She screams learned helplessness, she needs to get involved and also keep her man in check. he is young and immature and definitely needs it to grow.
Oh thank God when he asked what they do for work and how much they make it was an actual answer. It's been a minute.
😂😂
Yeah, I'm so used to people coming on the show not knowing what they make and have like 15 side hustles that cost more than they bring in 😂
What don’t you get about the fact that I am a full-time I mean part-time I mean substitute teacher And a full-time actress and singer, who is just breaking into the business I don’t know anything about the projects that I am actually getting paid for but I am working at Domino’s and Uber driving even though I just got fired from Domino’s and have no idea how much I make in Uber tips…
✔️
@vforvendettaMA 😂😂😂
Them thinking having kids in a year and a half is not soon is WILD. That’s basically tomorrow in adult time.
Yes lol
That means your pregnant in 4 to 6 months
I was thinking the same thing. lol
Nothing about that is WILD
Early twenties is barely adult time. It doesn't start flying until 30.
They’re so young they don’t even have a sense of time yet. When they started talking about a third kid and said “No time soon” i thought they meant 3-5 years not 1!!
Its literally insane that they could wait EIGHT YEARS to have another child and still BARLEY hit the median age for having your FIRST kid in most western countries 😮😂😂
Having kids at a young age is generally a good thing. But they definitely need to wait before having more.
@@countrymusicandcher8593just as being like the average American when it comes to debt and consumer spending is not a good thing, nor is waiting that long to have kids.
@@Macca-95 Lmao 30 is fine for having kids. Literally nothing wrong with it. She's 22, 22 + = 30. The danger, if any, realistically starts around 35.
Their brains aren’t done developing.
40 hour work week is average
He's acting like he is slaving away, working 8 hours a day at a place where he probably gets a lunch break. Meanwhile, wife is 24/7 taking care of kids and house. They are supposed to be equal partners
It doesnt work unless she starts working part time, and he helps out around the house as well. but if she wants to be a trad wife, she needs to start learning how to cook, which it sounds like she doesnt do very well. but most of this is his behavioural issues, and perhaps learned helplessness from her. he needs someone to keep him in check to grow out of this. which i hope caleb helped with
Ikr. I laughed out loud at that. Mf......try slinging a chainsaw, hunched over a rock saw, running wheelbarrows of material uphill, shoveling snow, or even just running around with a weed Wacker 15hrs a day 6days a week and 8 on the seventh day....... telling Charlie he needs to cook the chicken longer, making sure the new soda cups are ordered, and autofilling a schedule so that Janet gets her nieces birthday off is not a brutal job. Sure kids have the ability to make everything stressful, but either adapt and teach them the right way or learn to keep your gear wrapped.
The subtle rage in her eyes when Caleb said the husbands spending on going out to eat would have covered the credid card payments that he took a LOAN out to pay....ooof
at which part?
@@antwspoon57:42
Imagine flipping the script on him and informing him he effectively took out a loan to eat out. Insane
The way she looks at the camera at 27:05 when he’s talking about his gas station chips. That lady’s rage is building 😂
As a father of a daughter, I will feel that I have failed as a father if my daughter ever says "personal finance is just really confusing" as an adult.
Tbh, that makes me feel as though you are an excellent father to her. And you'll be swatting down that girl math and help her understand real math ^
@@ma.2099that's literally a joke
Agreed. A good parent would never set their child up for delusion.
@@ma.2099 girl math is a joke that is literally about how women justify making poor financial decision. Girl math is thinking you saved money when something is 50% when u r still spending. Ppl joke around abt it, anyone who takes it seriously does not understand the concept of “girl math”
Your daughter is lucky to have you! A lot of dads (and moms) don't understand personal finance, themselves. You're breaking the cycle.
Him saying “we got food at home” and it’s hot pockets and kraft mac and cheese. The wife and kids get crap, but it’s ok for him to order DoorDash??
Natalie, since you have a house, you should consider opening up a daycare. That way you can be at home with the kids and work at the same time.
Or even casual babysitting... In my state if you babysit only 2 kids you don't need to open a legal daycare
I wondered why nobody suggested this. Even 1 extra kid, which she's done in the past would probably bring in at least $400-500/month. Especially sine the couple reports decent daycare would cost $2400/month for 2 kids.
Yes yes! I was so surprised they didn't go into that further. She can watch other kids in her home like she did for her nephew. So much better than driving an hour away for gma to babysit to earn minimum wage...not good.
Him denying her a meal out for being tired with the kids and not wanting to cook but deciding to get his own meals out multiple times a day lol and then her in the beginning thinking she’s the one with the spending problem when three retailers on the pink highlights were hers
If I get take out, so does my wife. I don't think twice about it. I'll ask what she wants and grab it. Fair is fair lol. He'll I'll grab takeout for her even when I eat at home. She might crave something from the outside world when I am just wanting a ham sandwich. This whole seperate this and that thing is weird. Being married is like being both people at the same time. Equal say, no secrets, and the spouse is always and automatically considered at all times. Personally I cut back on frivolous things so I can spoil my wife, but she doesn't expect that.
But there's hot pockets...😒
@@darlene5286😂😂😂
both things are wrong
She probably sucks at cooking
Somehow these two are still more mature than the 40yr old mom who came in last week.
That 40yr old mom was way more mature than the 25yr old divorced mom who lives out of her car and has a warrant out for her arrest in Missouri, and begs for money on Twitter while her kid lives with her mom in a hotel
@@awill3454right! So maybe the next episode will be a reasonable mature person.
@@awill3454 Totally forgot about her.
lol the 25 year old living out of her car, I mean “Car Camping,” wasn’t even divorced. She just Fu*ked off out of town and was still mooching her ‘husband’ for money. Classy.
@@elizabethbarrett5303lmao
If you’re saying there’s food at home and by food you mean hot pockets you’re too young to be someone’s dad
You clearly dont have kids
@@NM-ki9ih it’s fine as a snack for a kid but it’s not food for dinner
@@grimeythree4294 you clearly don’t have kids
@@NM-ki9ihI just hope you don’t have kids
@@NM-ki9ih or maybe I’m a better parent?😂
She’s the smart one but doesn’t think she is. He should stay home
She's stuck with him or gonna be a single mom of two without a job or relevant skills. I'd be terrified if I was her
Hes 22 tho. Not bad for 22.
@@InnocuousInes-pe8mkyep. Fathers need to teach their daughters that this is a man you shouldn't even make eye contact with. This manlet is the enemy of masculinity.
I cannot fathom having two children, being in massive debt, and continuing to purchase Doritos and beer from a gas station every day. This kid's father failed him.
My guess is nobody calls this guy on anything in that household. He needs a third party, like Caleb, to call him out.
To be fair, a present father that’s in debt is much better than a father out of the picture - you can’t inherit debt. Children don’t need cash they need support imo
He hasn't failed. He doesn't know any better, but luckily there is still time. Hopefully this interaction with a financial advisor will encourage a change for the better.
Add student debt and being 40. It can always be worst
@@Rebbyrag Hard to be supported by someone who makes poor decisions themselves.
21,000 car with over 100,000 miles at 9% interest. That car salesman is a villain!
That's what I was thinking. My jaw dropped when he said what the mileage was
@@suzbone Like I get they are probably trying to do things on their own. But was there any consulting? Where was the family or someone to look out for them?
@@koodersalad427 Amen to that. While it could be that they're a couple of stubborn little shits who can't stand taking advice specifically from family, I feel it's FAR more likely that both of their families seriously failed them in a lot of ways.
toyota siennas are soo freaking expensive me and my husband were looking into them and even the old used ones are insanely priced lol
Yah, I agree.
The husband is a financial abuser, PERIOD. Thank you so much for showing people how this actually happens
For real!! I also didn’t realize until watching this video that you could be a financial abuser when you have no money…
That’s such projection, PERIOD!
You and I have no clue how this couple is aside from this one hour glimpse into their finances. Stop judging a book by its cover.
You lack critical thinking skills
@@Sniperboy5551 😆
@@ktzach11 you lack money and a wife
Feeling like this poor girl got bamboozled into marrying this absolute goof.
She was sold that he was the right man, from the right church. She just had to be good and he will take care of everything. So damn sad. You could see her world view being crushed.
He thinks he knows more than he does. But doesnt have the maturity to see what giving up for your family really is. Saying the grocery budget is too high when it feeds his own kids, meanwhile hes eating out. Selfish!!
I doubt he thinks he knows more than he does. His problem is that he is immature. He is unwilling to sacrifice his wants for his families needs.
Totally agree. Anytime fast food is higher or even close to groceries ESPECIALLY with kids. There is a definite problem. Only made worse by the fact it's only for himself.
makes me think each and every episode is actually not a financial crisis, but more like a pathological behavioral defect where the subjects cannot for the life of them WANT to actually LIVE, but rather delude themselves out of existence.
@@SlytherinsConspiracieswelcome to finance 😂
Also, everyone needs to remember, this is really common in these situations. This your man is used to being the most mature person in his friend group. He is very mature for a 23 year old. He’s also 23 and still immature overall.
I know this story because it was mine too. My wife and I are in a wonderful spot now and we are so grateful we took the hard road like these young people but it was extremely hard and very painful at times. That’s how you learn though. Life’s not pretty, it’s beautiful
She is smarter than him, she needs to take some control back.
She needs to take accountability and stop relying on someone because it’s stressful. They both decided to have children they both should work and figure out childcare. You adapt you don’t just say “well I can’t “
@@montoya26 Working or not doesn't matter. My mum is a stay-at-home mum and she has always had a metal grip on our finances, even more so than my dad. It's not a matter of being more or less intelligent than him (it's toxic tk make this kind of paragons, especially jn a couple), but a matter of not wanting to have to deal with problems and using the "intelligence" excuse to avoid them. I used to do it with my brother a lot too, once. If you just say the other is "more intelligent" and let him do all the work because of it, than it's YOUR fault for not being updated of your situation.
@@gauntlettcf5669 My parents have been married over 25 years. Step mom was stay at home until very recently when the last kid is finally grown up and she wanted to fill out her ss. Best believe for all those years she counted every dollar in and out of that household. It really doesn't work unless both people are 100% on the ball. Has to be a partnership not just equaling up to one adult.
We vere young. My husband is good at working. He is an idiot financially. So I took over it all
@@montoya26He may well have gaslit her into believing that it’s stressful - rather than helping and teaching. But this is because he doesn’t want to expose his poor decisions and mismanagement
This man deliberately gaslighted his wife about their financial situation claiming she doesn’t understand even though he’s running them into the ground with them both clueless blaming each other
Probably wanting to make her feel dumb so he can feel like the big man. So sad.
Ahhh excuse me, she herself said it confuses her and she doesn't want any part of it. How is that gaslighting?
@secondfoundation4137 if he has spend those years constantly telling her she wouldn't understand or it's too complicated for her she would internalise that and freely admit its "too confusing". Basically her agreeing to that doesn't disprove the gaslighting accusation, and could feed into it.
That being said I also don't think there is enough evidence here to suggest that he is guilty of those accusations either.
@@mch-gaming1437You have no clue about that. Its really crazy to see ppl trying to make him out to be some horrible man. What is wrong with you guys
@@ronnie5329because he is a horrible man, he financially abuses his family. He clearly has no clue about finances but acts like he’s some financial guru making dumb decisions and getting them deeper into dept 😂
They need marriage counseling. She doesn't realize how serious it is that he says they can't eat out and then proceeds to prioritize himself. And he has an excuse for everything and is blaming her SO much. I don't know is NOT an acceptable answer, it's a deflection.
And she is just flat out lying at points.
Its just not great between the 2 of them.
Please Get Counseling.
Ladies, don’t be clueless about your finances if you’re married even if your husband is the provider! My parents lost their home to foreclosure and my mom didn’t know until the sheriff showed up to evict them
GEEEZ!
Wow. That's a really shitty thing for your dad to have done.
You totally hear about that!! It’s crazy!!
Rip 🪦
😮
I don't like their separatism in the relationship. "My kids" she says and he says "My mortgage, my car"
I noticed this too, I feel there is a personal story to this situation. Definitely seeing marital problems in there future.
You must’ve never been in a real long term relationship. Her saying “my kids is completely insane, granted, but him saying “my car” is perfectly fine. Everything isn’t shared in relationships, he bought her a car, he can have his own car, doesn’t mean they can’t share if they don’t want to. But not everything is shared in a relationship, is it supposed to be “our” panties? “Our” makeup? “Our” tools? No they can have their own stuff, grow up. That’s what a mature relationship is.
Super weird vibes with the 'my kids' comments.
It's not that strange. They are her kids and they are his kids. They can be both "mine" and "ours" at the same time.
Yeah my wife and I had to cut that out quick. It’s honestly a terrible way to have a marriage. Don’t believe people who sit there and say, “oh we’re 2 different people with our own money”, that does not fly. If you wanted to be individuals, then you shouldn’t have gotten married. I don’t wish this on anyone, but marriages like that tend to fail
I hate that he’s gatekeeping her food while he buys whatever he wants including free açaí bowls. He’s working but she’s also contributing as a SAHM
SAHM is not feasible in 2024. Especially at $60k a year..she needs to get a JOB.
It’s not his money to do whatever he wants with. It’s not his house to put a freaking HELOC on to account for his poor habits. It all equally belongs to them both, and he needs to involve her. If she’s really the one who doesn’t want to be involved, which I don’t entirely buy, she needs to put her big girl pants on and tell him to stop spending money every time his heart wants some chicken nuggies or whatever.
She's saving him daycare money, and being she doesn't have a degree to earn higher than that... That is what she's 'earning' for the family 'bring home'.... He thinks he deserves more than her because he 'works' outside the home... Which is gross.
@@Kbru829 Daycare at $2,400/month is over $28,000 per year. She would have make over $35,000 (to pay FICA tax & 15% income tax) just to cover day care expenses. That would leave ZERO $$$ to household budget. She would be better off staying at home & babysitting an extra kid or working at Walmart 10-15 hours per week. Walmart would allow her a little time away from kids & make him take care of the kids for a few hours. I think that would be good for them BOTH!
He is a restaurant manager…has 8 hours to literally eat for free….
I've watched a lot of your shorts, but this is the first full-length video I've seen. I appreciated your generally supportive and encouraging tone; it really felt like you met them where they're at and still set firm boundaries on behavior that was out of line and that need to be grown out of. Thanks for the great content!
The couple episodes are always wild 💀I'm 30 seconds in and I already know its going to be a roller-coaster.
I love couples audits
2 for 1 audit but somehow the problems feel 4x as much
Bro he never tells her no because she is so far out of his league he knows it's over he doesn't smooch that backside.
Edit: NGL there are a couple times he calls her BS on here...but even those times where pointing out how he was a push over. He needs to prepare himself for her to leave him if he tries to instill any fiscal disciple. Look at the face she made when Caleb told her to make coffee and put milk and sugar in it or make a meal. It was as if Caleb told her to dumpster dive for food.
@@davenunyabusiness4893 Exept she isn't. What is in any way special about her?
@@MrDerushingo she is indeed average...it's more a comment on him
Why do I think that as the watcher of the show, the husband thought he was going to get Caleb to tell the wife to “stop spending so much” and his plan totally backfired??
i got that vibe too
He definitely thinks he’s more grown than he is
@@catherine4908his age means nothing. I’ve seen grown ass 40yo+ men who behave this way. My step dad was a POS who behaved similarly.
We got married the same year they did, and we’re only two years older. My husband doesn’t talk to me like this. His mother would kick his ass.
“Your payment is so high because you got something you just can’t afford.” Damn that’s real and lots of people need to hear that.
This girl needs to realize how smart and capable she actually is. She's doing more for the family financial situation than him. Buying chips EVERY DAY? nah wtf
Justifying purchasing a car you can't afford for an additional child you MIGHT have in the future is not a wise decision.
Right?!… To that point this guy needs a vasectomy yesterday.
The thing about the child seats was crazy, the cost of getting the narrower, more expensive seats is nothing on the cost of a new car
@@benjaminfranklin329or the crazy idea of just not having a third child 😂 like you can’t live with only two children cause why? You can’t wait for 5 years and actually do it right for the first time 😂
I mean dont have another child until at least one is in a booster seat and get a cheaper car.... 21grand for a van with over 100k on it seems dumb in the first place. The guy doesnt seem like the type to work on his own car.
I cant 100% rule out that i might have a child out of wedlock as the result of one of my drunken one night stands.... I should get a tesla
I wish this couple all the best. The last few guests were combative, highly unlikeable, and bordering on delusional. It's nice to see people who appreciate the help and will actually listen to advice instead of constantly arguing.
They seem like they're listening, sure, but are they actually listening? We don't know. Caleb needs to probe them, ask them questions, let them talk a bit more to expose whether they're actually listening. IMO.
I agree, I wish them the best too. I hope they take Caleb's advice. They have two children, a house, and he has a good job. But they are so immature, even given their very young ages. If they can restrain their spending on unnecessary things, and postpone having a third child until they are in a much more secure position, they could have a very bright future.
Agreed, it’s nice that they’re actually having a reasonable conversation
@@IAmebAdger It would probably be good for the guests if he asked them to repeat what he just said. Not just at the end when he asks them for a summary of what they will do, but as he goes.
It would also be fun for us as we watch them show in 1080HD that they are not understanding anything lol (or give as some real hope that they are getting it)
100%! They really seem to want to learn. I’m super rooting for them. A wonderful change from the ding dongs who just want to be on video.
That is a huge insult to her that she plans the grocery shopping and dinners and he can't even wait until he gets home to eat the meals she cooks?! My husband loves my cooking and I'll even ask what he wants that week so if he's really wanting burgers or tacos I'll plan those into my meals for the week. We do eat out on Fridays so I have a break from cooking once a week and it gets me out of the house and it's a good weekly date night for us
😂 maybe she can even make him those taquitos he loves so much!! 🎉
Same here! Although I’m not an amazing chef, actually my husband is the one who loves cooking, I’m more of a baker, but I plan out all the meals for the day and do the grocery shopping, so I always ask what he wants for the week. We eat out occasionally on the weekends but mostly eat home cooked meals and left overs. Planning out your meals for the week really helps save money because going to the grocery store without a plan is dangerous! Lol
💯 Wife makes enough dinner for me so I don't have to forage cupboards myself? I'm the happiest man on earth!
Sounds great ❤
The husband keeps saying “I know, I know”. You do not know.
When he told her there is food at home like hot pockets, cereal and that stuff I was like bro you are literally eating out multiple times a day on your own without your family. Your doordash in the middle of the night wtf
ok and? he works for his money. she doesn't. you eat at home if you don't bring in the cash.
@@cococock2418this is such a toxic mentality to bring into a marriage 😂 especially a marriage with kids. He works, and she raises his babies. They both work.
In a marriage you are one entity. His money is hers, her money is his. The food she makes at home is hers and the food she makes at home is his. The kids she raised are hers and the kids she raises are his.
Dear god, please don’t get married and have kids until you realize the roles of parenthood.
He’s a manager of his restaurant why doesn’t he eat there? He’s acting like a child.
Newsflash. He didn’t teach you anything don’t pretend you’re stupid just because they didn’t teach you that in high school your parents should’ve taught you, or you should’ve had some common sense of how it all works.
@cococock2418 he helped make those kids and she's raising them, while he's spending ridiculously on take out
I don't understand how an 18 year old with no credit can get a 15k limit, meanwhile I just barely got to 15-20k limits on my cards and I make 200k a year with a 780 credit score.
Possibly because 4 years ago money was cheaper. Good returns for the finance company getting someone into debt as soon as legally possible, too.
Because you can pay it back, they can't.
Banks don't want people to pay the bare minimum. This couple will bring money to the bank for the next 50 years, you'd have paid it back in 5...
I don't understand how an 18year old with no credit can get a mortgage
I find that weird too. I've always paid my credit card and just hit an 8k limit at 27. To be fair, I've never asked for an increase either and that's just the automatic limit increases.
I believe Chase often does this, they did for me and my friends at 18. lol (without any prior credit or being on a parent’s plan, I got a 16k limit on my first card with them)
“We have two kids, and we can’t afford them, and I almost died having the last one, but we want at least one more” 🎉
Make it make sense
The math ain't mathing
Same people that had 2 kids when they couldn’t support themselves. Not surprising.
stupid people usually procreate a lot
They could afford it, they just spend money on nonsense.
The fact that they want another child after they already had two and she nearly died from the first one is absolutely ridiculous.
Very happy that these people arent using this for clout and need it. BRING GUESTS LIKE THIS ON MORE CALEB
How is he going to be upset that she accidentally signed up for photoshop and HAD to say it was like $100 a month.. Like my brother in christ you are spending that ON CHIPS..ON PURPOSE!!!
He was trying to hammer her for that as if he didn’t spend way more on eating out lol
That too!!!
@@SP-qv8ex
Literally, and saying that she and the kids can't eat out while he stops on his way home and freaking orders door dash AFTER she goes to bed is wild. Like he's intentionally waiting for her to go to bed so he doesn't have to buy her anything. Wild
I think this EP made me the most upset at any guest! Not to mention the ONE example he could give of her not wanting to cook dinner. I think we can all agree there are nights where we dont have the energy to cook, esp after taking care of little ones AND knowing your husband stops and gets WHATEVER he wants.. Id be resentful and wouldnt care about cooking dinner. All the financial sacrifices shouldn't come from just one partner. @@rosie20098
For under $100 a month you can get all Adobe products including Photoshop, even cheaper if you sign up on black Friday
Wife: We needed groceries
Dumb selfish husband: We have hot pockets and Mac and cheese at home
Excuse me, Mr. “I get fast food everyday for only myself”
So, only you get a fast food meal while your family scavenges at home. Nope, my anger would never put up with that.
Definition of financial abuse and coercion in a relationship if I’ve ever seen it, even if neither one of them realize that’s what it is.
@@Chikitewsounds like they live in the 60s.
@@ll2323Unfortunately many modern couples are stuck like this. Working retail the number of couples I’ve seen argue with their partner for buying basic items is embarrassing and sad.
It is scary! My husband would never guilt me over feeding myself and our children, and if I ever told him there was no food at home, he would get us food, no questions asked!
His behavior is disgusting. 😤
My husband would never "treat" himself at the detriment of his family. GROSS! This dudde is no man.
But their communication is good
his constant smiling as his indiscretions are revealed is obnoxious. i would have called him out on that repeatedly. he has convinced her it is too complicated for her to understand because he is messing up and causing the complications. bet he is embarrassed and doesn't want her to know
That’s the feeling I got, right from the first few minutes. He knows he isn’t being responsible with money, and he knows he hasn’t been honest with her. He’s afraid of his behavior being brought to light.
Ladies, don't let society convince you that you aren't smart enough to learn finances. If you give up control to someone else, there is a chance that they might also not be good at finances and just pretend like they are. Finance knowledge isn't something you're born with, it's something you learn and anyone can learn it. If you want to stay home with the kids and not work, all power to you, but you don't need to put on blinders to the household finances because that's your money too and you have the right to know what's going on. Just because someone is the breadwinner of the home doesn't necessarily mean they know how to manage it.
amazingly based comment.
It definitely doesn’t seem like she let “sOcIeTy” convince her she doesn’t need to know finances- it just sounds like she wasn’t interested in learning because she prefers to be the homemaker. Tuck that feminism back in your pocket lmao
@@pabloescobarschanclasgenuinely don’t think you know what based means bubba.
@@GetOfflineGetGoodexactly! that is exactly why it's important for women to have a general education and job experience even if they plan on being a SAHM, life is crazy unexpected and unfortunately it's oftentimes in the worst way
@@BasedHyperboreanfeminism wouldn't care, as its her choice to be a homemaker.
I love how he has an attitude about the Adobe subscription but that $100 is a few days of his food after work..
Also how could she possibly have been aware when he keeps her in the dark about finances!?
That’s the two DoorDash a week that he has, wings, fees, tip, etc
Girl, please be involved in the finance.
If these guys divorce, she can't survive on her own.
Also, he is already the third child. Please, stop it.
based
This is financial abuse. Let me guess they're from a deeply religious conservative background. She wasn't raised to be independent. That's engrained.
I could not find a polite way to say that😂
She, a traditional wife, chose an imbecile for a husband.
Holy cow, the amount of times this 23 year old said "I don't know" to Caleb's questions and then says "I know" as soon as Caleb gives him the answer just shows that no matter how mature he thinks he is, he is still a child and chooses to be oblivious to the effects of his own choices
This is SCARY. Having 2 kids and a home on a $50k salary is absolutely insane. Thinking you can afford to use DoorDash and Starbucks when you have $120 in your checking account? You've gotta be kidding me.
And planning to get pregnant again in the next 6 months...
I know ppl who have 1 income no debt and 5 kids based on the job I estimate they earn 70k they go on vacations every year etc. 2 kids and 50k is doable but without debt
Yep. That's exactly what I thought too. What happens when the baby gets an ear infection and you can't afford the copay OR the ear drops that are prescribed? Or both kids get them at once? I can't imagine thinking any of this was a good idea for them. I have a feeling the husband has been lying to his wife for a long time about their finances, and she bought it all hook line and sinker. I mean there's no way he is THAT good in bed.
It's very doable if you're responsible with the money but they are not! And I'm not just saying this I'm literally living it and we are very comfortable plus we live in an expensive city!
He is on 90k a year he makes 5350 per month post tax
23k on a Toyota Sienna with 100k miles is ROUGH
Hey “but it’s a Toyota”
And the worst part is that they're not even using the third row 😂
ikr like how?
@@pinkisforpimps brother they have 2 cars. they need one with two kids. the wife can use the car when he comes back from work to do whatever she needs.
@@invertedv12powerhouse77 huh? Why can't 2 car seats fit in a two row cheap car?
If my company had food for employees I would of eaten for free for life and still figured a way to take some home
Exactly!
I get the wife saying there is no food at home. Hot pockets and Macaroni and cheese for dinner is okay if you're like 12.
Inflammatory food with no nutritional value is not okay for any age.
@@miketexas4549 Let's agree that if you are an healthy teenager (who is moderately active), you can get away with a lot more bad food decisions than when you are 30.
It's not okay, and certainly not 'good', but it is not going to give you heartburn or make you feel like crap for a day or two.
@@rtre957 But you're not "getting away with it," even at a young and vibrant age - you are taking damage. It's a cumulative effect.. did you know that dementia is now being called type 3 diabetes? You don't just wake up one day chronically unhealthy, you become so through a series of thousands of bad choices, and it's almost entirely centered around nutrition.
@@rtre957 But you're not "getting away with it," even at a young and vibrant age - you are taking damage. It's a cumulative effect.. did you know that dementia is now being called type 3 diabetes? You don't just wake up one day chronically unhealthy, you become so through a series of thousands of bad choices, and it's almost entirely centered around nutrition.
@@rtre957 I don't agree. There's no such thing as "getting away with" bad food choices. You are taking damage, no matter how old you are.
As someone who has experience with pre-marital counseling and counseling in general, the lack of communication and teamwork here is most alarming. I know the financial element is your bag, but these two need to really open up the lines of communication about not only finances, but literally everything else.
Somebody else mentioned the "my" not the "our" language which is definitely a red flag, but if they're not communicating about finances, they're not communicating about other things. It's my hope that this financial help gets them talking and on board with one another for their marriage's sake, and for their children.
Caleb really needs a go-to counselling sponsor or course to point to. For most guests could really benefit from it.
Even if you have the best most loyal and hardworking spouse of all time, they could still drop dead tomorrow. You should ALWAYS know the state of your finances.
I agree.
Anyone who supports a family should get life insurance. At this kids age, a million dollar term policy would probably be like $50 a month
Edit to emphasize - get TERM life insurance, not a whole life policy
Oldest is 2.5yrs, second is 14 mo. She is 22, him 23, she says first kid wasn't planned..... HOW TF DO YOU PLAN A CHILD AT 19 RIGHT OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL WITH NO MONEY
Caleb sounds more relaxed and centered than the last few I watched. Good to hear you back in the zone where you might get frustrated, express where problems are, but aren't being quite as...on the offense. I usually really enjoy your content, but I had to stop watching episodes for a while. This was much better. Your heart seems to be back in it. Good to see you back to form. 😊
To be fair, these guests were actually sane. A bit foolish with eating out, but sane. The car living person and the angry pop star wanna be were both mad as a hatter.
True, he has some real intense guests, and I wasn't able to finish the insanity of a several of those and was avoiding him in my feed, but when I checked in and saw him on the offense at the start with a foolish but normal guest, I got worried about him. Maybe it was the stress of the new office or a production decision to boost drama. I don't know. This comment was mainly to let him know this style was liked provide positive reinforcement if it is a stress reduction or production decision as I am greedy and want to see more like this.😅 Anyway, hope you have a good day.
This episode was so refreshing compared to some of the delusional guests I've seen
It's a fine line to walk for him sometimes. I stopped watching for a while too.
It’s because the producers gave him someone who wasnt a delusional shithead. This is all any of the people on Reddit that Caleb complained about wanted.
They just wanted people who weren’t clearly clout chasers or drama dumps.
She needs to take over the finances and just give him 20 bucks a week cash and thats it! I guarantee she could have them turned around in 2 years. I really think she will rock the budgeting course. She looks terrified that the money is so bad and you could tell she cared. He is more interested in his snacks than his kids.
He can make a big turnaround, too. Her same deficiencies are the same as hers, immaturity.
Nah. They both have bad habits and they both need to make those changes together. The situation you proposed is just as disastrous as their current one. I'm not sure if you're married, but I'd guess you aren't. You still think like a single/dating person. Togetherness is what makes the relationship last, build, and be a betterment to each partner.
@@bbbbbbb51 been happily married 26 years. Would be much better if they worked together after they get out of debt but he needs to prove he wants it by letting her get them out. Then slowly work together to manage their money after the debt is gone. You could tell she was freaked out and felt she had no control over things. In a relationship when trust has been broken you have to earn it back over time and let the other person help you a while.
How do you figure?
@@bbbbbbb51 They can do it together but if he doesn't have the self control and integrity to not spend on unnecessary money on his way home then yes 20 in cash so he can see what he's spending and force him to really consider if its worth what he's trying to buy. And she can manage the money as long she keeps him in the loop. She seems to have a better idea of what it takes to manage the house hold and if she is more concerned about the money she may do a better job of managing it, she just needs all the information. Each couple is different, but whoever is better at finances should take the lead and both should work on saying no and tightening thier belts when needed. The person taking the lead is still responsible for being transparent with thier spouse about where every penny is going, why and making sure they stay on track with thier financial goals. He's had a chance to manage the finances and set a budget and he didn't do so with transparency so it might as well be her turn to take lead in this area.
"Planning a child" shouldn't only mean that you wanted a child and agreed to have one with someone. They didn't financially plan for either of their kids from what it seems.
It is insane , just having the child at the hospital is average of 32k out of pocket and 42k a year wtf are they thinking
@@danladd4764That’s not true. If you think about it for one second, it should sound ridiculous. You think the average person is paying $32k per kid? That’s the hospital bill and then most people have insurance that covers the vast majority.
@@danladd4764definitely not an average of 32k out of pocket. That might be for uninsured, but average insurance deductible is going to be probably $3k to $7500. That’s still a lot, just that what you are saying is inherently false. Also anyone spending $42k a year per kid is doing something wrong 😂. By your logic over half the population of the United States doesn’t even make enough money to cover just the kid costs 😂.
@@NerdyOutdoorVeteranit is expensive to have kids if you pay for hospital bills (no insurance) and if you add daycare costs (daycare is more expensive than college in some places). Other than that, you can keep costs fairly low if you get free/cheap baby stuff from other people (pretty easy to find) and mostly breastfeed (formula is expensive, breastfeeding is mostly free).
They were children when they had kids themselves
He's running his life as a single man and I'll bet that though he's proud of growing up so fast, he sees his family as a drag on his life.
Let alone everything else, the disrespect of him telling her they cant eat out, but knowing shes cooking at home but stopping for junk anyway. Really he cant wait half an hour driving home to eat??
Or even eat the free food his work offers. Gotta pay for food.
Really, take a snack, eat some peanuts in the car to tide you over.
Buy a box of snacks at the discount grocery store and pack a cooler.
And could grab a free snack, meal and drink from his job instead🤦♀️
He didn’t even tell her she couldn’t eat out. He told her she couldn’t go grocery shopping. Which is 100x worse considering all their money is funding his addiction to eating out.
You can tell she has been wanting to just unload all of this to someone. She’s super duper quick to point out all of his bad spending habits
@@Jake38nineshe’s a stay at home mom, she’s kinda vulnerable and probably overdue to have the financials brought up on an accountability front. She needs to be more involved to avoid being dependent/trapped if things went south
@Jake38nine he's keeping her in the dark to the point she doesn't even know if she can afford certain purchases. She's also in the more vulnerable position- she's losing potential earnings by staying at home, and he's not being transparent on finances meaning she has next to no control over budgeting or non-basic purchases
@@Jake38nine Not true. She started out saying she's the spender and had to be pushed to agree that he has a spending problem, too. You're clearly biased against women and not hearing her/reality.
They are SO YOUNG. 😬
She's an adult@@bdrex23
I'm so hung up on dad wants to "be the man/provider" but can't control having to stop 10x a day for fast food while his stay at home mom says "there's no food in the house" but has a 3 row van and the time to plan / do their grocery shopping every week. I hope maturing does them some good and helps get them on the right path. They should put that property to good use and start a veg garden.
That guy has LOTS of secrets...you can feel the deceit rolling off him in waves
These two really are throwing each other under the bus. That’s the most worrying thing about this episode.
I thought I was the only one to notice
Ratting each other out every 10 seconds 😂
When she said she wakes up in the middle of the night for the kids and he said "no I do that", she gave him a VERY "why would you call me out like that" look
It's very immature. They should have gotten the pre marriage counseling to know how damaging that can be.
🎯
The husband keeps saying “We” but he made essentially all of these decisions….
You can see her face change throughout the audit as she realizes that he’s been concealing how he's been tanking her financial future
He says "we" when it's the responsibilities. He says "my" when it's the assets and possessions.
@@jordanledoux197I noticed that. “My house.” “My car.”
He’s very well spoken on how bad he is with finances
We went from man who pretended to not be hungry during the great depression so their kids could eat to this dude.
He was helping me to build up my credit....
Oh no, honey, he is dragging you into debts.
Wake up babe new Caleb Hammer video dropped
We here
If he works 8 hours a day and goes in at 6am like he said.. he’s done by 2pm and probably home by 2:30? She can easily get a job with an afternoon shift 3-9pm or even a service job working the dinner shift 2-3 nights a week. There are so many options if he’s home that early! I wish Caleb didn’t miss this
Probably leaves at six, not sure what his commute is
the solution is REELING in the SPENDING-- NOT tearing their marriage further apart and creating more stress by just upping the INCOME where now both work and less time together and/or with their own kids.
@@classics-wz1bz It is also true however that for her to build some working years is likely good for her retirement or if she needs to get benefits in the future. She also needs to get active on researching what the state can do for them, especially for her if she doesn't plan to work (again, retirement)
SOOO TRUEEE
You think this man is helping at all with the kids?! She’s probably doing everything at home herself and waking up all night.
Hot pockets and mac and cheese should never be an acceptable dinner for your kids, as a dad. This guy is clueless and blames everything on his wife, and the wife blindly trusts him.
Yeah, all the while ordering and eating Door Dash while she's sleeping on. She's better than me.
Not everyone has as refined a palate as you. When you're broke, cheap food is what will keep you alive.
@mulletsquirrel It's not that he said that out of necessity; it's the hypocrisy that makes his suggestion terrible. I've survived off of basically crumbs before, too, and it is absolutely better than nothing. However, when this guy is getting all of his food out, it's outrageous to then turn around and say that the children can eat the cheap, heavily processed food with no vegetables.
@@chibivampiregirl good point. That type of imbalance makes for an unhappy relationship.
@@mulletsquirrel Well you shouldn't have children if you can't afford to give them the food they need to grow properly. I will admit that my child absolutely ate hot pockets and mac and cheese though. But there were veggies and fruit served with every meal and veggies in the mac and cheese always lol.
I usually don’t watch podcasts like this but this is so fucking entertaining that I followed the story till the end. Awesome episode dude
So not only does he get door dash while she is sleeping BUT HE DOESN'T EVEN CLEAN IT UP AND LEAVES IT ON THE COUCH. ugh she needs to respect herself more
So glad someone said this, I about lost my mind.
I would be PISSED
My bet is he's abusive in some way.
He wants to control it all, it sounds.
@@louiseerbslisbjerg7854 he is. He’s financially abusive, at the absolute least. Also, telling his wife “there’s food in the house,” when the food is hot pockets and Mac and cheese is like its own category of abuse. Like neglect.
My ex did it too, pure narcissistic behavior (my ex husband has been diagnosed : pathological lyer, psychopath and narcissistic by a psychiatrist and neurologist
When the guy justifies his fast food spending cuz he “works” all day…like buddy your wife is home with two toddlers all day, do you think she’s not working???
Which is way harder than most jobs tbf
THIS!
Absolutely. You can tell she holds resentment by the way he only worries about feeding HIMSELF. He’s not the family man that he thinks he is.
And she said she has food ready and he STILL goes and gets something.
Also, I'll never get behind this outdated mentality certain men have where they want their spouses to potentially remain unemployed at home. Have they not heard of remote work?
This economy is far too inflated and overpriced for any household to rely on a single source of income (unless the head of the household happens to be a rich CEO or something).
Yes, an episode when no one wants to be a UA-cam/social media star! Regular people with regular issues
The hair removal got me 🤣🤣🤣
Caleb is just jumping right in, not messing around. Love it.
Unfortunately, I'm seeing that as "fun" as it is to see Caleb jump in. I'm starting to realize this is one of his downfalls. He doesn't build enough raport with them to dig in as hard and fast as he does. In order to make the tough love work. They need to feel like you give a shit
@@WhiteRhino. I'm sure they spend time in the studio before getting grilled, though. They signed up for this, and sometimes a hard reality check and not dancing around the subject helps.
Did anyone else notice how he constantly said “my house, my car” about very obviously shared property?
Yeah! And she only says “my kids!”
@@elizabethrochester6930that was super interesting to me …
You're in to deep buddy
Women overthink the strangest shit y’all 😂
And she did the same with the kids
This couple is not on the same page at all. He said it all when he spoke about the hard water ruining everything in “my house.” “My toilets, my showers, my tiles.”
Add to that her constantly saying “my kids” and you get a really deep look into the dynamics of their relationship
@@BradDiBenedetto Yes, when she said 'my kids' when explaining the ages I thought maybe they were just her kids and that he was a stepfather... which I would admire him for but turns out he is the father so her use of 'my' was so weird.
@@jin394 just because they are his own paper doesn’t mean they are his biologically.
@@moneymike2397 In theory you are correct, however in this case I would tend to lean more towards them just being very awkward and assuming crazy gender roles. He seemed like the kind of guy that would point out in a heartbeat that they weren’t his kids, if that was the case
@moneymike2397 Definitely didn't get the vibe they weren't his biologically. They been together since 17-18. I HOPE THEYRE HIS 😂