Ive noticed that narcissistic parent often give toxic shame to the child that they find most challenging. its like they pass down a bag of waste from one generation to another
Absolutely, your observation is quite insightful. Narcissistic parents, in their own struggles and challenges, may indeed project toxic shame onto the child they find most challenging or threatening to their own self-image. This is the core of PI and transgenerational trauma indeed. sadly, without awareness and healing, is how unhealthy pattern can perpetuate a cycle of emotional baggage being passed down from one generation to the next.
Projective identification is done for the narcissist to attribute their own internal bad object to another. In the process they become all good, and the other all bad. The other may start to behave according to the narcissists projection. Thus confirming that the narcissist is superior and without flaws or fault. Lack of empathy is not done to project their insecurities, lack of empathy among other deficiencies allows for projective identification to happen in the first place. It's not a conscious process, it's done because the narcissist has to maintain a fantastical inflated self perception, that is the false self. Narcissistic abuse results from this. They do not enjoy hurting solely for the hurting, they want narcissistic supply, and if hurting you will yield that they will hurt you.
But what about traits, belifs, and characteristics they want praise for but don't get? Sometimes i think they project that and mold you into a person they want to be seen as. Loved for. Or even turn you into the parent they didn't have. Idk.
I’ve showed signs of resilience but I fell for the usury or sympathy of any family member that knew of my lack of self awareness. It’s pretty complicated. I took the abandonment role at 8 ish after my primary caretaker began caretaking for her fiancée while he used corporal punishment on me. They sent me to the doc my entire life or backed the idea with $. All my relationships have failed or immovable objects preventing happiness from the fruit of his and her labor. My co workers picked up where they left off as well as did the pecking order of my siblings and their grown children. Like a mob mentality dog whistle handed out by that guy but first he set me up for failure with this demonic trauma bond.
WHEn you talk about transference, is that like when you feel you're boring the therapist? Or that they think you feel too much pain given what actually happened. I did feel that. She was very kind to me though, she did listen.
I am sorry if the video is upsetting. Healthy blame can be a rite of passage but it doesn’t erase love and gratitude and we don’t have to be stuck in blame forever.
I blame my alcoholic father and autistic mother for the things I can remember. I was diagnosed with BPD myself over 30 years ago, and I personally find this essay really useful. Shit parents are shit, and do a lot of damage.
@@ImiatEggshellTherapyCoaching your essays are utterly fascinating, and beautifully put together. This one in particular as Projective Identification doesn't get talked about much at all, and was a feature of my young life, so really useful stuff. Thanks. Really.
Ive noticed that narcissistic parent often give toxic shame to the child that they find most challenging. its like they pass down a bag of waste from one generation to another
Absolutely, your observation is quite insightful. Narcissistic parents, in their own struggles and challenges, may indeed project toxic shame onto the child they find most challenging or threatening to their own self-image. This is the core of PI and transgenerational trauma indeed. sadly, without awareness and healing, is how unhealthy pattern can perpetuate a cycle of emotional baggage being passed down from one generation to the next.
That happened to my mom as she was disliked by her narcissistic mother intensily.
my mother does this to me. my father just backs her up. I'm out. I bailed. Can't handle it.
It’s ok to walk away from dysfunctional dynamics
Projective identification is done for the narcissist to attribute their own internal bad object to another. In the process they become all good, and the other all bad. The other may start to behave according to the narcissists projection. Thus confirming that the narcissist is superior and without flaws or fault.
Lack of empathy is not done to project their insecurities, lack of empathy among other deficiencies allows for projective identification to happen in the first place. It's not a conscious process, it's done because the narcissist has to maintain a fantastical inflated self perception, that is the false self. Narcissistic abuse results from this. They do not enjoy hurting solely for the hurting, they want narcissistic supply, and if hurting you will yield that they will hurt you.
This is a good video _ Thanks for making it _I'm currently being projected onto by several greedy needy people in need of an identity.
Glad it was helpful!
But what about traits, belifs, and characteristics they want praise for but don't get? Sometimes i think they project that and mold you into a person they want to be seen as. Loved for. Or even turn you into the parent they didn't have. Idk.
Further on even authoritive figures trying to using it on unsuspecting victims.
Indeed, it can happen on a systemic level.
I'm working with a client who is a toxic narcissist and can only project her traits onto others. There is no building insight here.
I’ve showed signs of resilience but I fell for the usury or sympathy of any family member that knew of my lack of self awareness. It’s pretty complicated. I took the abandonment role at 8 ish after my primary caretaker began caretaking for her fiancée while he used corporal punishment on me. They sent me to the doc my entire life or backed the idea with $. All my relationships have failed or immovable objects preventing happiness from the fruit of his and her labor. My co workers picked up where they left off as well as did the pecking order of my siblings and their grown children. Like a mob mentality dog whistle handed out by that guy but first he set me up for failure with this demonic trauma bond.
I'm really sorry JR, it's the crazy damn thing ever, like trying to make sense of the Twilight Zone. I wish you well.
Somehow I got to get out of this conspiracy
The title should say cluster b abuse as BPD has the same internal issues.
WHEn you talk about transference, is that like when you feel you're boring the therapist? Or that they think you feel too much pain given what actually happened. I did feel that. She was very kind to me though, she did listen.
It can be. Without context and details I can’t tell for sure of course but this kind of projection can often be yes
The picture is so startling I can't watch... Amazing content though!
Glad you have found it too!
Blame Blame Shame Shame Blame Blame Shsme Shame.
Im being told Im bpd cause i wont join a sex club _ lol
Blame the parents for things you cant even remember…give me a break
If you don’t place healthy blame, the pattern stays in you.
I am sorry if the video is upsetting. Healthy blame can be a rite of passage but it doesn’t erase love and gratitude and we don’t have to be stuck in blame forever.
I blame my alcoholic father and autistic mother for the things I can remember. I was diagnosed with BPD myself over 30 years ago, and I personally find this essay really useful. Shit parents are shit, and do a lot of damage.
It’s important to stand up for your truth ❤️🩹
@@ImiatEggshellTherapyCoaching your essays are utterly fascinating, and beautifully put together. This one in particular as Projective Identification doesn't get talked about much at all, and was a feature of my young life, so really useful stuff. Thanks. Really.
Thank you
Welcome!🤗