Splitting has caused me to feel nothing most of the time. When I shared this I was shamed as if I was a bad person but now I explain it amd don't try to hide what is going on. I've been on the extreme end where there were too many emotions amd this is not a good state either as it can be overwhelming. This is not done deliberately by those of us suffering. It's a coping mechanism that has become our default to protect us. But shaming those who have this coping mechanism bc of trauma is not a good thing as it only makes us worse and not better
Why is it so hard to get help for this? I'm currently going through a divorce which I didn't want. It has to do with when I "flip." My wife says I can control it, but I cannot. Since I am trained in the medical field she said I should have known better and done the work to recover from childhood emotional abuse. It's not that simple. I have worked 80+ hour weeks for the past 30 years trying to run from my emotions and alone and scared is where I have ended up. I am so tired of living like this, being a normal compassionate person for a couple of weeks, then turning into a raging lunatic which lasts for two or three days, during which I create so much chaos for my family.
That sounds tough but why is your rage directed at your wife? Why do you work 80 hours a week. Have you gone through the chris germer phd and kirsten neff phd workbook doing the exercises, it's called the mindful book of self-compassion. It retrained me a bit. It is work though. It feels kind of like homework. 80 hours per week is just far too much.
@@SusanaXpeace2u I had been working to avoid my feelings. Making progress in that regard. My wife of 9 years gave up and divorced me last month. This has been and remains the hardest few months of my life.
@@MrTedflickI completely understand immersing yourself in something/work as a coping mechanism/way to avoid and run from your feelings. It’s one of the symptoms of PTSD as well. I did the same thing and my soul mate has left me because I neglected them through this- and other behaviors due to my ptsd. I didn’t know that it was happening until it was too late. It’s been so terrible. They will not listen to me about what was going on with me- but why would they? I neglected them for so long and the present is a result of past choices. I’m sorry you’re going through this, as well. I hope that you get some relief somehow, someday. I wish people would stay with the people that they love- no matter how difficult their emotional issues.
Your article put into words what i have been so desperately trying to figure out for the last 9 months since I met my inner child and the entire world opened up for about a month. I could feel, taste, smell, hear things like i was a super human. Before i got locked out of myself again, back to the numb existence ive always known. I cannot thank you enoigh.
Thanks for posting this as an audio. The articles on your website are pure gold nuggets of sanity and caring professionalism. The audio here is great. The reader has a lovely voice and pace. He reads on some of your other audio posts that I also found soothing, grounding and valuable. Thank you so much for your socially valuable work. All the best to other listeners too.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts!!! It truly warms my heart ~ And I'm delighted that you enjoy the soothing and grounding voice of the reader, I am so glad I found him~ 🌟 Imi
Yes, so disregulated I don't know how I will feel from one hour to next, swimming helps, I want to go on alone holiday but one evening I am feeling I can do it, the next day I feel, no, I will fall apart, I have no-one to go with, so that could send me into depression, people trigger me and I am not a young tiger, yesterday I was triggered really bad by people, it was a hell-scape in my mind, feel better today, I am thinking just book the holiday and go, its not going to get any better, and at least I will get an experience and a change of scenery!❤😂😂😂I hate therapy, one hour with the clock ticking is insulting and most therapists I have seen are useless, they are seeing dozens of different people they can't give you much because their minds are on all the others, it's a silly system!
This is a wondefully rich article, such clarity around splitting and residual long term effects seen in impulsive behaviour later in life. There is so much in here and the article as a whole has enabled me to integrate previous learning. Thank you.
As a bpd sufferer I either feel too much or nothing at all. I mostly live in numbness mode albeit not intentionally The splitting protects and has helped us cope but it isn't healthy as a lifelong coping mechanism
Yes you do have a very special gift when it comes to compassion and validation regarding every difference between humans and their brains function, which I would just call neurodivergent. I personally was diagnosed with borderline at 28 and have come to realize that I believe I am a highly sensitive person. I think because of this my nervous system has become so deregulated that it's hard to even start to calm it down. I'm in the process of trying to reset it somehow. I also believe there are health issues involved in getting a doctor to try to tackle these naturally is almost impossible. I have been exposed to mold many times and I've always had this lingering chronic fatigue and all my tests come back normal. I have had quite a few blows to my head and falls but they consider this nothing serious. I'm taking a herbalism course in January and trying to do things naturally but it seems to be a very slow process. One of the hardest things being highly sensitive is the amount of damage it does on your skin and how chemicals completely and utterly destroy your sense of how you feel about yourself. You can't wear makeup your hair starts thinning you have to completely change products used on your skin. I know there's something not right because I can smell anything chemical and I can smell it Miles away. When they spray stuff in the sky I can smell the chemicals. From what I've read a smell hits the limbic part of the brain and a signal going off that something's not right. I have fought and fought and fought for years to try and figure out what is going on with me and it's been a long process. I am now 50 years old and I don't even know if I've gotten a quarter all the way through the process. I do know that if I had a lot more money I might be far more along my way which is sad to say but the truth
I appreciate you sharing your experiences... Indeed the intersection of neurodivergence, sensitivity, and health challenges can indeed present complex hurdles. Herbalism has helped many ppl. The struggle with chemical sensitivities and its effects on self-perception is a common yet often overlooked aspect. It sounds to be you have really been on a journey of seeking and finding solutions that work for you. But hey, progress is a process, and each step forward is a victory in itself.
A close friend just stopped talking to me out of the blue. She blocked me on social, and won’t answer my calls or texts. I know she’s going through some major problems and grew up in an abusive home. She indicated that she might have borderline personality disorder and also has ADHD. But I still don’t understand how a close friend can just get up and leave like this with zero explanation. I was so good to her on many occasions and I would never just leave someone this way. I am absolutely heartbroken. She told me that she needs space and I didn’t do anything wrong. But the way she’s acting now leads me to believe otherwise. I just want to help her, but she just doesn’t respond to me. Adding to the problem is that we work together. So I have to see her. She’ll talk to others but completely ignores me as if we are total strangers. I don’t know what to do anymore. Feels like the longer we don’t speak, the less likely we’ll be able to reconcile. This is so painful. 💔😢
I feel sorry for the people who behaved like that it's a sign of weakness on their part don't waste your emotion on that sort of behaviour there is a whole world out there .
I know it's difficult not to take it personally but this is really about them and not you. This behaviour is no reflection of your worth. Believe me, you mean a lot to her otherwise she wouldn't be behaving this way. You got close and that is terrifying for them. She's put a wall of protection up. Focus on yourself and you're own needs and what will be...will be ❤
Healing from C-PTSD is a journey that requires patience and self-compassion. It is impossible for me to advise in a UA-cam comment thoroughly but if it is haunting you, it's important to seek professional help from therapists or counselors who specialize in trauma. They can provide guidance and support tailored to your specific needs. But you may want to consider, on your own learning about C-PTSD to understand its impact on your life. Use relection or journalling to reflect on your feelings and experiences from past to present, identify healthy coping mechanisms to replace unhealthy ones, learn to set and maintain boundaries to protect your well-being... etc Be patient with yourself and celebrate small victories along the way. I hope you can overcome the challenges of C-PTSD with time and support. Imi x
Check out Eckhart Tolle and his concept of "pain body". Basically by getting into the trauma and feel everything through that hasn't been feelt yet. Best with guidance of someone.
You may want to read Complex PTSD : From Surviving To Thriving (Pete Walker) it is a comprehensive, user-friendly, self-help guide to recovering from the lingering effects of childhood trauma. I have found it really helpful. Px
Splitting has caused me to feel nothing most of the time. When I shared this I was shamed as if I was a bad person but now I explain it amd don't try to hide what is going on. I've been on the extreme end where there were too many emotions amd this is not a good state either as it can be overwhelming. This is not done deliberately by those of us suffering. It's a coping mechanism that has become our default to protect us. But shaming those who have this coping mechanism bc of trauma is not a good thing as it only makes us worse and not better
Why is it so hard to get help for this? I'm currently going through a divorce which I didn't want. It has to do with when I "flip." My wife says I can control it, but I cannot. Since I am trained in the medical field she said I should have known better and done the work to recover from childhood emotional abuse. It's not that simple. I have worked 80+ hour weeks for the past 30 years trying to run from my emotions and alone and scared is where I have ended up. I am so tired of living like this, being a normal compassionate person for a couple of weeks, then turning into a raging lunatic which lasts for two or three days, during which I create so much chaos for my family.
So much compassion for you. It’s not your “fault,” neurologically there are very concrete reasons for your experience. Explore MDMA assisted therapy?
USE PARTS WORK - IFS. for trauma - ‘internal family systems’.
That sounds tough but why is your rage directed at your wife? Why do you work 80 hours a week. Have you gone through the chris germer phd and kirsten neff phd workbook doing the exercises, it's called the mindful book of self-compassion. It retrained me a bit. It is work though. It feels kind of like homework. 80 hours per week is just far too much.
@@SusanaXpeace2u I had been working to avoid my feelings. Making progress in that regard. My wife of 9 years gave up and divorced me last month. This has been and remains the hardest few months of my life.
@@MrTedflickI completely understand immersing yourself in something/work as a coping mechanism/way to avoid and run from your feelings. It’s one of the symptoms of PTSD as well. I did the same thing and my soul mate has left me because I neglected them through this- and other behaviors due to my ptsd. I didn’t know that it was happening until it was too late. It’s been so terrible. They will not listen to me about what was going on with me- but why would they? I neglected them for so long and the present is a result of past choices. I’m sorry you’re going through this, as well. I hope that you get some relief somehow, someday. I wish people would stay with the people that they love- no matter how difficult their emotional issues.
Your article put into words what i have been so desperately trying to figure out for the last 9 months since I met my inner child and the entire world opened up for about a month. I could feel, taste, smell, hear things like i was a super human. Before i got locked out of myself again, back to the numb existence ive always known. I cannot thank you enoigh.
Thank you for taking the time to comment and share your experience 💛
Thanks for posting this as an audio. The articles on your website are pure gold nuggets of sanity and caring professionalism. The audio here is great. The reader has a lovely voice and pace. He reads on some of your other audio posts that I also found soothing, grounding and valuable. Thank you so much for your socially valuable work. All the best to other listeners too.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts!!! It truly warms my heart ~ And I'm delighted that you enjoy the soothing and grounding voice of the reader, I am so glad I found him~ 🌟
Imi
Love the drawing in the background
Thank you ☺️
Yes, so disregulated I don't know how I will feel from one hour to next, swimming helps, I want to go on alone holiday but one evening I am feeling I can do it, the next day I feel, no, I will fall apart, I have no-one to go with, so that could send me into depression, people trigger me and I am not a young tiger, yesterday I was triggered really bad by people, it was a hell-scape in my mind, feel better today, I am thinking just book the holiday and go, its not going to get any better, and at least I will get an experience and a change of scenery!❤😂😂😂I hate therapy, one hour with the clock ticking is insulting and most therapists I have seen are useless, they are seeing dozens of different people they can't give you much because their minds are on all the others, it's a silly system!
This is a wondefully rich article, such clarity around splitting and residual long term effects seen in impulsive behaviour later in life. There is so much in here and the article as a whole has enabled me to integrate previous learning. Thank you.
Thank you for your equally rich and such a heartfelt comment
Well done - you articulated splitting in a very comfortable yet motivating way to inspire change - thank you
My pleasure!thank you so much for taking the time to comment 😍
As a bpd sufferer I either feel too much or nothing at all. I mostly live in numbness mode albeit not intentionally
The splitting protects and has helped us cope but it isn't healthy as a lifelong coping mechanism
Exactly :( you said if all. Your psyche has used it to protect you but it only does it’s job to a degree
Try parts work - IFS. INTERNAL FAMILY SYTEMS.
Yes you do have a very special gift when it comes to compassion and validation regarding every difference between humans and their brains function, which I would just call neurodivergent. I personally was diagnosed with borderline at 28 and have come to realize that I believe I am a highly sensitive person. I think because of this my nervous system has become so deregulated that it's hard to even start to calm it down. I'm in the process of trying to reset it somehow. I also believe there are health issues involved in getting a doctor to try to tackle these naturally is almost impossible. I have been exposed to mold many times and I've always had this lingering chronic fatigue and all my tests come back normal. I have had quite a few blows to my head and falls but they consider this nothing serious. I'm taking a herbalism course in January and trying to do things naturally but it seems to be a very slow process. One of the hardest things being highly sensitive is the amount of damage it does on your skin and how chemicals completely and utterly destroy your sense of how you feel about yourself. You can't wear makeup your hair starts thinning you have to completely change products used on your skin. I know there's something not right because I can smell anything chemical and I can smell it Miles away. When they spray stuff in the sky I can smell the chemicals. From what I've read a smell hits the limbic part of the brain and a signal going off that something's not right. I have fought and fought and fought for years to try and figure out what is going on with me and it's been a long process. I am now 50 years old and I don't even know if I've gotten a quarter all the way through the process. I do know that if I had a lot more money I might be far more along my way which is sad to say but the truth
I appreciate you sharing your experiences... Indeed the intersection of neurodivergence, sensitivity, and health challenges can indeed present complex hurdles. Herbalism has helped many ppl.
The struggle with chemical sensitivities and its effects on self-perception is a common yet often overlooked aspect. It sounds to be you have really been on a journey of seeking and finding solutions that work for you. But hey, progress is a process, and each step forward is a victory in itself.
A close friend just stopped talking to me out of the blue. She blocked me on social, and won’t answer my calls or texts.
I know she’s going through some major problems and grew up in an abusive home. She indicated that she might have borderline personality disorder and also has ADHD. But I still don’t understand how a close friend can just get up and leave like this with zero explanation. I was so good to her on many occasions and I would never just leave someone this way. I am absolutely heartbroken.
She told me that she needs space and I didn’t do anything wrong. But the way she’s acting now leads me to believe otherwise. I just want to help her, but she just doesn’t respond to me.
Adding to the problem is that we work together. So I have to see her. She’ll talk to others but completely ignores me as if we are total strangers. I don’t know what to do anymore. Feels like the longer we don’t speak, the less likely we’ll be able to reconcile. This is so painful. 💔😢
That sounds hurtful and hard to go through 😔 I am sorry about your experience
I feel sorry for the people who behaved like that it's a sign of weakness on their part don't waste your emotion on that sort of behaviour there is a whole world out there .
I know it's difficult not to take it personally but this is really about them and not you. This behaviour is no reflection of your worth. Believe me, you mean a lot to her otherwise she wouldn't be behaving this way. You got close and that is terrifying for them. She's put a wall of protection up. Focus on yourself and you're own needs and what will be...will be ❤
Thank you so much for these contents
Excellent
Thank you!
It is very similar to the concept "pain body" of Eckhart Tolle. He also offers a way to heal the trauma.
Absolutely love that concept!!
But how can we heal our c-ptds?
Healing from C-PTSD is a journey that requires patience and self-compassion. It is impossible for me to advise in a UA-cam comment thoroughly but if it is haunting you, it's important to seek professional help from therapists or counselors who specialize in trauma. They can provide guidance and support tailored to your specific needs.
But you may want to consider, on your own learning about C-PTSD to understand its impact on your life.
Use relection or journalling to reflect on your feelings and experiences from past to present, identify healthy coping mechanisms to replace unhealthy ones, learn to set and maintain boundaries to protect your well-being... etc
Be patient with yourself and celebrate small victories along the way. I hope you can overcome the challenges of C-PTSD with time and support.
Imi x
Check out Eckhart Tolle and his concept of "pain body". Basically by getting into the trauma and feel everything through that hasn't been feelt yet. Best with guidance of someone.
Parts work. IFS
This is so helpless, is there any solution for these to get over?! 😢
You may want to read Complex PTSD : From Surviving To Thriving (Pete Walker) it is a comprehensive, user-friendly, self-help guide to recovering from the lingering effects of childhood trauma. I have found it really helpful. Px
@@paulaokane5088 Thanks a lot
Parts work. IFS
@@user-jm6ds5dz3t What that mean?
So as opposed to the human voice, does anyone know how some can read stories in Alien voice?
Would welcome an introduction if you knew one 👽
Numb 💯💔
💔😢