Jennette McCurdy On Realizing She Was Being Abused | The View
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- Опубліковано 11 вер 2022
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My dad grew up in an abusive home and he said he prayed every night that his dad would die. People who break cycles of generational trauma are my heroes.
😢 I can’t imagine what your dad went through
My dad was severely abused as well. He broke that cycle with us and I am so proud of him for it. It would have been so easy to fall into the same abuse cycle. The sad thing is, even up until his death he never believed he truly deserved love. I can never forgive my grandmother for doing that to him.
The CYCLE of abuse can be so bad and can suck you in..took 35 years but finally separated MY family, husband and kids, from it and it was my oldest turning 13 to realize omg this is another fucked up generation coming up if I don't do something... and that was 6 years ago...we are doing soo much better!!! Sometimes it's up to you to make the change 💜
@@tolleypowell1426 wonderful that you were able to do that. Wishing you and your family the greatest success.
I used to wish the same thing every night too. 💔
The title is far from harsh. Proud of her for realizing she’s worth far more than what she was told about herself. Narcissistic abuse is horrific to live through.
Yes (narcissistic abuse), it is. It is hellish.
Yes, but throwing your dead mom under the bus publicly is an act of Narcissism as well. She is unable to defend herself.
@@igloozoo3771 No it’s not. It’s called standing up for yourself and getting your power back.
Its a disgusting title. Also never let your abuser win.
@@igloozoo3771 you have no idea what you’re talking about.
This is one strong, secure, self-respecting woman. She turned down money which tried to silence her. She turned down more money to appear in the new icarly reboot. She turned down roles which would have advanced her career because she didn’t want to be unprofessional and mess around with her Sam and Cat commitments. She is so self aware of her feelings and reactions and I’m just in AWE. I hope she has a long and happy career ahead of her surrounded by people SHE chooses.
This one is funny. Strong? She picked up an ED just because someone suggested it. Literally anything someone will say helped them she will consider trying it. How is that secure? She literally lashes out at fans online and in real life passive aggressively. She's the whole fucked up person package. I can't blame her and completely understand but it's you who clearly doesn't. So I'm here to educate.
1. Parent education should be a requirement for all parents to be. There is too much child abuse going on. Kudos to her for being able to emotionally detach from her abusive mother.
My question to you is how that will stop child abuse? I am all for teaching parenting skills, but anyone can pass those classes and still go on to abuse. It needs to be combined with good therapy.
We aren't the property of the state y'know.
@@tammydavis770 Agreed!
An ACE score is a tally of different types of abuse, neglect, and other hallmarks of a rough childhood. According to the Adverse Childhood Experiences study, the rougher your childhood, the higher your score is likely to be and the higher your risk for later health problems.
Maybe start by having every child take an ACE test when they start school. Then go from there.
@@breal7277 Yet you want that same state to make decisions about who can keep their kids? Your position makes no sense.
I'm so happy for her that instead of drowning herself in alcohol and anger she faced it head-on and got through it and mastered it and now she is helping others.
Yes!! 🙌🏼
I've heard she drunk heavily for a while. But thankfully she got over it.
And would she be a lesser person if she did drown herself in alcohol and anger? No.
@@MariaSilva-xl2kq Yeah, I would too if I had been in her shoes.
She didn’t master it, it’s an ongoing process. I’m sure she has her strong moments and not-so-strong moments. I share this only so people reading that have gone through things similar to what Jeanette has gone through know that they don’t have to reach some point called “healed” -they just need to experience life as it comes. 🙂
Jennette would make a WONDERFUL guest co-host. I could listen to her talk for hours.
Hardly...she's a pathetic human being. If someone can do this to their own deceased mom, they're not worthy of being on that platform. Her mom is not here to defend herself from these exaggerated claims
@@tcla3854 umm… there are witnesses dummy. Her brother’s.
@@tcla3854 you are very lucky and privileged to even think like that and you are the people the hosts were referring to holding their parents on a pedestal no matter the right or wrong. And if you looks her siblings are not denying any of these claims. And even her costars have come out in support.
@@stevenzamora9971 the problem is, is that her mother is not here to defend herself. Her book is a publicity "poor me" campaign that she's profiting off.
@@tcla3854 many people back up her “stories” especially her brothers. So apparently you think it’s ok for a mother to abuse her child? She has emails and letters that her mother sent her that are appalling. Do your research before you judge!
I haven't read this book yet. My mother was unbelievably emotionally and physically abusive to me. At 43, I decided to cut her out of my life when she made a comment to my 12 year old son about his weight. I lived the first half of my life making every decision based on her expectations. The next half of my life is for me.
I wish you all the best ❤
Wish you the best
Amen to that! Hope good things will come for you!
She is so intelligent, articulate, and eloquent when she speaks! She is the generational curse-breaker in her family. And while it was a challenging road, I'm gad she broke free! Can't wait to read the book!
#CongratsJeannette!
She has kids?
Please have Jennette as a guest co-host. She would
bring so much healing to those who were abused.
Jennette is way too good for these clowns
@@Mollydollyyyy but yet you’re here watching is that obsession?
@@Lenasevilla-yb4ei 👍
yes , but that isn’t her responsibility. she needs to continue to heal herself. she still hurts from it and it’s very clear , between this , her red table talk interview , she doesn’t need to do it for anyone else but her , ya know ?
@@trishapaytaskitchenfloor We should all have this kind of altruism/empathy for all persons who have in the past, or currently now suffer abuse.
I was raised in a very similar household. I have the utmost respect for her. Being able to open up about such a thing takes a ton of strength, self awareness, and courage. Finally, some truth behind what it's like to grow up with an abusive mother.
Same here. My heart goes out to you
The work she has had to have put in order to reflect on such horrid experiences w so much clarity and insight is astounding to me. Mental fortitude and lots and lots of therapy, surely. And the work is never quite over I imagine. Wow.
Also I’m so sorry you had to go through that. Hope you’re doing better
I hope things are much better for you now 🌷
@@meghansullivan6812 four years of therapy now, and I cut ties with my mom going on a year now. I'm doing well, thank you for the kind words... I'm happily married with two magnificent children. My mom went so far as to try and hurt my children, emotionally, to hurt me... Thank God for my husband who had been my rock and my best friend... My mom emotionally hurting my 8-year-old daughter was it! Sometimes we have to walk away, even from family, to protect our own. Especially when dealing with a bipolar narcissistic parent such as I have. Unlike my mom, my kids well being and happiness come first ❤ 🌻.
I quit therapists who suggested that I was experiencing CPTSD from childhood trauma also. It must be a common experience to have that kind of reaction to the initial idea that your toxic mother was toxic when you grew up with so much gaslighting, especially when she demanded so much constant fawning. Thank you to Jenette McCurdy for saying out loud what many of us don’t have the guts to say out loud about how one can be grieving, and yet at the same time realize that you’re finally free.
Most children reject notions that their parents aren't perfect/good people until they are forced to confront it. It's very common, even for children who are not abused.
it is very common, and as a therapist it's generally not helpful to bulldoze right into that and say upfront "hey your mom was abusive." it's better to try and ease people into that so they come to the realization on their own- otherwise there's a real flight risk. you have to go slow when you're working with trauma, especially childhood trauma like this.
@@AshAshBabyparents are also easy scapegoats. Every post on this subject that i see online today accuses parents of abuse. Thing is parents are human and they make mistakes. I can see the difference between purposeful abuse and poor/emotional/immature decision making. Like “my abusive mom caused my eating disorder”. Did she? Give it some thought. I have an example. My grandma called me fat from the age of 10, she was an ignorant, uneducated and frequently drunk hillbilly who meant well but was fighting her own demons. Was she abusive? NO. She wanted the best for me and had seen obesity kill several people in her family up to that point. I grew out of my chubby phase but I now realize she wasn’t intending to hurt me. She just isn’t very good with words and even worse with people who are sensitive to words. She had a tough upbringing. Words never bothered her. You have to look beyond results and the way someone makes you feel and to the best of your ability try to see the persons intent and capability before calling it abuse. Early childhood experiences can also strongly shape dysfunctional personalities or disorders. Those experiences can range from having no memory whatsoever to incorrectly remembering to remembering a watered down less traumatizing experience. I just think that we’ve spread the definition of abuse so thin in this context that it has no definition.
@BB-ed4om you can tell you live in a backwards world, you are so clueless. SMH 🙄
I didn't realize I was abused until I was 25. My father had to do something so horrific that it finally opened my eyes.
What was it?
I'm sorry 😞
What did he do?
What happened?
A parent doing something that breaks your shelf after slow years of nothing ever seeming like it being really worth acknowledging putting on a shelf, at the end of the day, and when it hits you realize you have shelves and shelves and shelves covered in things that still sting... sometimes it’s huge and sometimes it’s nothing, or it should be nothing. I remember the fight that made me move out of my parents’ house for a while during covid. I didn’t put back a little thing of Vaseline and my mom screamed at me for hours, threatened to break things she’d gotten me for my birthday, and kept insisting she was right to be mad about the Vaseline for weeks after I left.
Sometimes it’s nothing. I spent 25 years of life thinking I was a good, resilient kid for blacking out all my fights with my mom. It still feels wrong to use the word abuse in a lot of ways.
A part of me not cutting my mother off is still financial. Not as much as it used to be. It helped cut the codependency to physically prove to my family I didn’t need them to survive.
Anyone who thinks the title is harsh has probably not experienced abuse
1:43 when she mentions the title was harsh and her response! 🔥
Response of the year!! Haha
Y'all get all tingly over some parental hate. Sick that it's a turn on.
@@loveonthespectrum3797you didn’t read the book. We get it.
The audio book is on UA-cam for free
@@loveonthespectrum3797No. It’s just that those of us who were abused by our parents empathize with her.
I'm a little more than halfway through the audio book and my heart just hurts for the childhood she had. Seeing her in the shows and hearing her music you would never have known the horror she was going through. So glad she's processing and getting help. The book is absolutely amazing and she does a wonderful job reading it
Why is there such resistance against the idea that a mother can be abusive, nobody is saying her mum didn't have something wrong but a lot of mums we beg to seek help bcos we want a relationship but they refuse & continue to abuse & damage their kids. I used to think these thoughts & feel immense guilt but the feeling was valid regardless...
Thank you. I love every word that you said.
It's because society has romanticised mothers and in the same breath demonised fathers.
Exactly. Everyone always assumes that problems at home are the father cheating, drinking, being abusive, etc etc. How many stories do you hear of mother's drowning their kids or poisoning them or stuff like that. Women can be just as big of a problem as men can be. But saying things like that in today's age is frowned upon because everyone is still caught up in MeeToo
Because society screeches that a woman’s only purpose is to become a mother & that nurturing comes naturally. Once a woman has a kid, it’s assumed that she magically becomes a whole new person & enters an elevated realm of maturity, selflessness & unconditional love. So it defies everything that people have ever been taught about women when they hear that a mother is an abuser.
They must not know the extent of it. They totally should read the book.
You can tell who read the book and who didn’t. These women, I swear.
It's unrealistic to expect them to read all the books the show promotes. Maybe Ana has time since she spends a lot of time flying from Miami to NY.
@@breal7277 They don’t have to read it, but they should know what they’re discussing before making snide comments about something they don’t understand.
@@Mondlerrrr this! 🎯🎯🎯
None of them read it. They have PAs to do that and they have cue-cards.
@@Mondlerrrr That's never held them back at all.
I know she wrote a book, but I feel like they didn’t have sensitivity training for the hosts before she was brought on, some of the questions…
Right????? The way she just rattled off all those horrible things like they were just bullet points on a screen like dude she’s a human.
I agree 💔 I HATED it when the one host said the title was "harsh." The look in Jennette's eyes said it all. Maybe it was just a bad choice of wording, but she could have used a better term. And with such a sensitive subject they should do better.
Just because she's there to talk about the book and she herself is open to discuss the things her mother put her through, doesn't mean that people can be so insensitive.
@@sadezem991 EXACTLY!!! And you can see it in Jennette’s eyes when she said it was harsh. She’s prolly thinking “couldn’t be any more harsh that her showing me how to starve myself but ok.” Glad I’m not the only one who felt that. I think my favorite interview about her book so far was with Trevor Noah have you seen that one? He actually read the book and was more personable
@@Missanthropy-qn7ky That's exactly it! Jenette is far from harsh. She is so eloquent and kind and she explains everything so well. I hope she understands what she is doing for people with abusive parents right now. The impact she has had on people is life changing.
That's why it hurts me so much to see some of these interviewers fail her - she deserves better. And they know better! It should be common sense. Her response was wonderful and I love the subtle ways she stands up for herself.
As for the interview with Trevor Noah, I haven't seen it but it is in my watch later playlist! I'll check it out tonight. Been binging a lot of her content lately - I listened to her podcast when it released because I've kind of kept up with her the past few years but have been absolutely entranced by her since the book release.
@@Raya-ir4tm lol if she's middle age you are the gatecreeper 😂
She truly has showed the world with strength and courage you can do anything ♥️ She is so fearless and shines so bright !!
Her mother really hurt her. You can see the pain in her eyes.🙏♥️
I've started my Jennette McCurdy marathon for days now. Wow. I really am glad that Jennette is able to get her life back together again. And I love the way that she answers the second lady saying that the title was too harsh.
I LOVE how she answers that haha
the “Im nothing without my mom” feeling hits hard when ur mom manipulates u and emotionally abuses u cus same and it’s hard learning to be okay without them even tho I know they’re in the wrong
My dad use to say that to me as well. He would say, “Your are nothing without me! You will never survive a day outside of my home without me!” I stayed with my parents until I turned 25 because I believed that I would not make it on my own. They kept saying that to make me stay with them so I could be their slave.
She has so much love and strength behind her eyes, so much stronger for what she suffered and has made it into an amazing book. Love her so much!
You go girl! I’m in my early 20s and i also have an abusive family. I’m getting ready to go no-contact and jennette’s story has been such an inspiration to me.
Do it darling I promise it will be worth it in the end 💛
Good luck take good care & stay away from ppl who are familiar it may not be healthy
You got it~ good luck, i'm wishing you all the best in the entire world!
I love Jennette. It takes so much strength to go through such horrors and come out such a wonderful person.
I find it rude how the initial interviewer went about this. She was very blunt about an extremely sensitive subject. You can see the tears in Jeanette’s eyes as she spoke to her like this.
Yeah, I'm not sure why she went into such graphic detail right then. 😐
Yeah don't just list people's abuse at them like that 😬 she could induce flashbacks, so hectic.
Yeah I agree that was so overwhelming
It honestly scares me, both how EASY it is to have children AND how encouraged childrearing is in society.....SCARY when you pair it with the fact that (1) some people are so naturally cruel and (2) most people are dumb.
And yet here we are......
This is so true, honestly. Straight up truth.
You summed it up perfectly. There are so many children living in such detrimental conditions simply because our society pushes people over a certain age to reproduce no matter what. Children should be wanted and expected, not shoved to people. Also, o strongly believe there are so many people who want kids that are not good parents because they simply don't know how to raise one. We as a society need to have expecting parents take mandatory child development classes. So many people would be less fucked up if that was the case.
Exactly! And I'm SHAMED for admitting i don't want children. But i have emotional instabilities, i shouldn't even have children
@@elle_l808l Most people have "emotional instabilities"... Just own that you don't want kids because you are selfish, and stop making up excuses.
@@TheSwauzz "Making up an excuse" implies its a requirement ...a "should have to"...a "duty" being abandoned......
WHICH is the exact problem I'm highlighting in my main comment.
Even if her problem is that she is incredibly selfish, and not that she's emotionally unstable, WHY would you want a selfish person to have children?
I just think it's the most ironic thing to call someone you're admonishing as "selfish"..... Because it's the exact quality you don't want someone potentially raising children to have.
I wish her nothing but the best. I hope she will find the healing that she neess and the love that has eluded her for so long.
She is a few years younger than me but I really look up to her and her story is similar to mine. It took me till I was 30 and after an abusive marriage to realize from my therapist that I was abused by my mom once I told her about my ex husband and my mom she looked at me and said listen connect the dots use your experiences and I ended up realizing why I end up with abusive partners is bc my mom would verbally mentally emotionally and physically abuse me and I was an only child and my dad never would protect me from her he would make me apologize to my mom for her abusing me. I stopped talking to them and it’s the best decision I’ve ever done.
❤
I love this young lady to know what she suffered and what she gave to us everyday on tv. heartbreaking but wow she survived
I am glad that she tactfully dodged the negative “…where would you be if your mom was still alive?” question…. What the heck was that mess?
This book is excellent. A must read. I got it as a parenting book. It’s valuable to learn lessons in what not to do and to be reminded how children internalize so much from their parents. I hope Jennette continues therapy and healing from her trauma.
While I did not grow up in an abusive home, I was abused by a family member. My parents knew, they witnessed it and I told them. They did their best to stop the abuse but I put an end to it. My abuser said did not realize what they were doing, they were in a "bad" place grieving after their spouse died. Long story short, my retaliation woke them up. The abuse stopped, but admitting it in therapy is hard. I felt like the therapist was judging me. I learned and realized pretty quickly that they were not, it was a natural reaction and feeling to feel judged. It didn't make sense to me that I would feel judged. I was the victim and yet I felt judged?
While the memories of the abuse resurface from time to time (normal), I just do my best to shove the memory aside.
I am so sorry to those who have been the victim of abuse.
I hope that family member got help. Losing a spouse is tough. Especially if young kids are involved
@@samg873 after my retaliation, they sought counseling. So yes, they got help.
@KiNG the therapist did not confuse me. She was very honest and very helpful. She said nothing to make me feel how I felt. She just let me know my feelings are a common response to being a victim of abuse. But she was an awesome therapist and helped me through a lot.
@@helpfulreviewer8321 that's sometimes what needs to happen. He was probably grieving so bad he shut off to outside world
@@samg873 To this day my relative feels awful they did this. While the memories pop up in my head at times, which is natural, my therapist taught me techniques to work through it. I am on good terms with my relative now, which is great. I am positive it is something they will regret the rest of their life.
They are a totally different person now and in a good way than back then. Doing much better.
Thank you for your reply.
I’m so sorry she went through what she did.
i could sit and listen to Jennette talk like FOREVER and never be tired of it, i want to hear everything she wants to say always
I love how she says mmm after every question its so cute ❤
It's okay to be honest. Like I can honestly say the world is a better place now that my Father is dead. Does it suck to say? Sure. Is it the truth? Yes. He was a bad man. Period.
Yes. People are allowed to feel what they feel. I've wished many times my ex would die. Most people would if they got hurt enough.
Yes, yes, yes. Be as open as you need, as you want. Both of you. In fact, I encourage everyone to be open, who has suffered abuse, or similarly. I understand totally. I am an abuse survivor myself.
Telling her to her face that the title was harsh has to be the most arrogantly insensitive sht I've seen on The View in a long time.
I agree I was so taken aback that she actually said that… if her mom was still alive I don’t know if Jennette would even be alive !! The path she was going down because of her mom was NOT going to be sustainable.
Actually it's not. Lot's of people are taken aback by the title and that's sort of the point!
@@elle_l808l taken aback is not the same as saying it is harsh. You can say how it made you feel, you cannot tell her YOU thought it was too harsh.
@@celifacejones i guess , but i disagree
@@celifacejones I totally understand your point
Can't say I am a fan of the view but I did read Jennette's book and all I can say is it is more than worth the time to read it. She has a gift with the way she portrays her story and I cannot recommend it enough. Well done.
Jeanette is incredible. What she has overcome is incomprehensible, and she is brave for being so candid.
Yep. When a doctor told me that what I was trying to explain was describing PTSD, I backed off. It took me a long time to realise the truth of what I experienced.
I try to explain this to my bf. I told him not to raise his voice or bang things or touch me a certain way because I will start getting really bothered by it. He doesn’t understand why some days I just don’t want to get out of bed at all.
First counsellor I saw, i was telling him about my mum and her own abuse as a child by her parents, and how I would cry in private so she didn't see and prepare myself to be strong for her because she needed someone there for her, i told this very protective of my fragile mother as though this was a beautiful bond we shared. He simply said 'that must've been hard for you'. I broke. Tears absolutely burst and sobbing out of nowhere. It was the first time someone had considered my emotional journey in being essentially a private therapist and confidante to my mum through childhood. I couldn't accept or tolerate that. 1 week later I was convinced I was trans and that solved my problems don't need any help thank you and goodbye... few weeks later i realised that didn't explain my absolutely lostness in the world and myself. That phrase 'that must've been hard for you' replayed in my mind for years before it finally clicked. I thank that therapist everyday, he doesn't know, but he did help me, he gave me the key and years later I stumbled into the lock. To acknowledge and accept a parent was abusive, especially when it's a complex relationship and covert as opposed to overt physical abuse, is monumental and as Jennette said requires the entire dismantling of that relationship your view of them and who you yourself are. Thank you Jennette for your book and your honesty
I'm really really happy for jennette and for this book it's a history that NEEDS to be told and I'm sure that's helping alot
She’s been everywhere lately and I love it
This book is one best books I've read in a long time. It's really stuck with me I grew up in an abusive home. I'm so proud Jennette it's hard to admit when your abused by a parent . She has a lovely reading voice
I recommend reading Mommie Dearest by Christina Crawford, daughter of Joan Crawford
The way her eyes lit up at the end🥺 I love her sm
I experienced this and my sister as a child.. I understand what it is.. and I realized it's something that can take many years to recover.. it's hard to break free from a mother who is supposed to protect you and love you.. it's sad but I'm glad that she is healing
I love how she can tell who read the book
I loved the title of the book! I grew up with a mother similar to hers so when I found out about the book, I immediately knew what it was about.
What an interesting person and listen to her speak is a joy. She speaks so clearly and articulate that it captivates my attention.
Jeannette is very brave to share this!! It reminds me of Joyce Meyer’s story. They actually have similar personalities. I hope that they can meet one day!!
I prayed for my father to die fervently throughout my childhood. I left home as soon as I was able. When my father finally died of cancer at the age of 70, I felt nothing but relief.
Wise and well spoken. What a fantastic young lady.
She is so wise and well spoken and I'm very happy she is self conscious now and on a healthy journey
Wishing her all the best moving forward 🙏🏻
I’ve been seeing her everywhere, I’m glad she’s getting her story out there.
What a wonderful energy she has. ❤❤
Wow. She is so brave for this. She will hopefully help a lot of other people.
Everyone who says the title of the book is "harsh" don't know what abuse is or have great relationship with their birth giver.
I absolutely loved her book! Highly recommend. It was so insightful and interesting
Thank you! ❤
I didn’t realize my mom was toxic to me until after my son’s funeral. My life wasn’t like Jennette’s but I completely understand the gaslighting she lived under and defending her mom being something that was ingrained. The first time I sought therapy, after I was attacked (22 years before my son’s death), my PTSD therapist mentioned something about me possibly being from a home of abuse. I completely bristled at that and shut it down. After I could no longer worry about my mom’s feelings first (cuz I was grieving my son’s death), I realized she was toxic because she said “obviously you don’t want me as your mom anymore” when I just wanted to be alone in my grief for a while.
I hope Jennette’s book helps people get out of such relationships and realize their own self worth.
I love when people like her talented smart and who actually have a real story that we can learn from
My mother is a narcissistic and I’m 45. I am fairly sure she will die soon (she is 76) and that will be very sad, but I was abused by her, and the lifelong effects will always be with me. I’m having therapy though, and working on it….
I am so sorry you had to experience that. I too, am an abuse survivor. But I can tell you this. You don't have to deal with it alone.
I read the book, it's great. I have so much trouble focusing on reading due to chronic pain and mental illness. I flew through this book in one day. I havent been able to read a full book in years. I recommend it
Wow, so impressed by her admission about why she initially left therapy
DANG i wish i was in that audience, i bought my book and am so excited for it to come
Fabulous book, much needed read
I love her honesty ❤
I totally get the not grasping you were being abused. It wasn’t until I got old enough to see how my friends Mom’s treated them and that’s when it hit me.
Yes! I never thought of my own dad as a bully until I was in my late 20’s.
"Jennette, where do you think you'd be today if your mom didn't die?"
Jennette: "puppies are cute"
I cracked up🤣 she is amazing and I'm over the moon she's finding her strength and self freedom. cheers to her writing her book!
Yeah that question was pretty fucked up considering the book etc
My mum was psychologically abusive to me growing up. I figured she wasn’t treating me right but to have someone validate and explain the abuse was liberating. My mum and I have a better relationship now but it’s still hard sometimes having that past hanging over us. This book was mind blowing loved it so much
I have not cantacted my mom in decades. I don't want her to die, but I never want to see her again. I'm going to read this book as difficult as it will be for me to read it and relive the horror and abuse. God Bless her for writing it.
Good for her keep shining your light in this dark world ...stay strong 💪
The Dems created the dark world, Trump 2024, cancel the view, FAKE news 📰📰
I've got the same thing happening in my family
Man, everything she said at the beginning hit me really hard.
I cut my narcissistic parents out of my life almost 6 years ago and I had also just gotten out of a toxic marriage to a narcissist during that time.
I flew from Texas to Florida to revaluate my life and go back to a job I had done during the holidays and long weekends and it took opening up to a few of my coworkers and managers after they noticed my workaholic behavior and seeing that I was not the same person that they knew and I confided in a few of them about what both parties had put me through. They all said the same thing, "what you described to me, that isn't 'normal,' that's abuse."
Especially the things that my parents did to me as a child...especially grinding my self esteem and confidence down to nothing while implying that I am nothing without them and I would never make it alone. The minute I maybe had some belief in myself or confidence that I could be independent, they'd immediately go back to the verbal abuse to bring me back down to the lowest feeling ever. Also, they showered/bathed naked with me until I was 12, too. It wasn't until I cut all this toxicity out of my life that forced me to revaluate and reflect on my life, which meant that I needed to quit blaming myself for everything bad that happened in my life...I was the scapegoat/punching bag not just for my parents, but for my entire family. Again, their narcissism and emotional abuse/manipulation always made me feel like I was the problem and I was to blame for every bad thing within the family. It's taken a lot of reflecting, journaling, as well as a lot of time to learn and accept that I was "just a kid" and that none of that was deserved nor was it my fault.
The resolution and silver lining for me on a daily basis is that, ever since I remarried and started this reflective/healing journey, my motivation now is definitely to break the cycle. If my wife and I are ever fortunate to have children, I'm more motivated than ever to give them everything I was not given and be a way better parent to them than mine ever were. So in a way, I guess maybe I should be thanking my parents for showing me WHAT NOT TO DO & HOW NOT TO ACT/HOW NOT TO RAISE THEM
You are so brave i really admire you !
I've never watched The View before and when Whoopi popped up I was so surprised 😂
I’m 41 and my mother was very abusive. I’m glad people are coming out and talking about parental abuse. Its pretty much the biggest stigma as far as abuse.
From one abuse survivor to another...you are not alone.
For 20 years, I had lived in a village that had no child protection services, and no bother in helping teenagers from abuse. The only way I was saved was when the school picked up on mental health symptoms and realized that my father was not mentally safe at all. I was at age 20 when I was finally away from my father's abuse. I had been hit, I had been touched, and all I could do was save myself at age 20 and go to therapy. I then later on realized all the wrong things my parents taught me, had learning curves to go through, and ended up having to make boundaries for myself as well.
My heart goes out to all the young adults out there now that are still living through it or have lived with not only parents being abusive but also having two parents being dysfunctional where there is one parent completely codependent while the other one is emotional unavailable…
I like how she says "Hmmmm" after the questions😅
So much love for her!
I'm so glad more of these toxic mother stories are being exposed e.g. Brooke Sheilds. It's time for the mommy martyrdom syndrome to end and start seeing mothers as just human. A lot of people are kept in silence because no one wants to believe how dysfunctional their parents are. Then there is the disassociation that has helped to cope with the abuse that also blocks you from seeing how truly abusive they are. People will sooner believe that YOU are the problem rather than the victim. Having children doesn't give you a pass at being evil and the culture of labelling childfree people as selfish because they refuse to continue generational patters of abuse and trauma etc just shows how narrow minded people could be.
I hope she writes more in the future, perhaps fiction if she is interested in it. She mentions in the book that she always liked writing more than acting and she’s really talented!
Loving her book, absolutely highly recommend.
Well done Jenette, I feel alot of what you said, thank you
How far along are you? I loved it too.
@@jpx8793 I finished it within 24 hours lol couldn't put it down!
@@jaime-leeferguson5839 Awesome. I'm with ya there. Liked it more than I thought I would...a LOT.
@@jaime-leeferguson5839 I liked what she said in this one paragraph: "As an actor, you can't control which agents want to represent you, what roles your agent submits you for, which auditions you get, what callbacks you get, what roles you get, what lines are for your performance, how you look for your role, how the director directs your performance, how the editor edits your performance, whether the show gets picked up or the movie does well, whether critics like your performance, whether you get famous, how the media portrays you, and so on. God bless those souls who can tolerate that much up-in-the-airness in their lives, but I can't anymore." That is absolutely true. One shouldn't take up acting unless one is willing to endure all that, and unless one likes the work entailed. The same goes for a play, or a book. Her book itself is an example of that statement. I remember her saying when she went to her therapist, she wasn't planning on writing a book, much less have it get the attention it has been getting, become a best-seller, and even less, so, be on the New York Times bestseller list for over 40 weeks. She has had no control over any of that. All she did was the work on the book. The rest happened on its own.
It was really brave to admit that she couldn’t accept the idea of her mom was abusive at first: it must be so heartbreaking to have your entire life’s view just shattered and thrown upside down, but in the end I’m glad she managed to confront it instead of running away
God bless her. 🙏
❤️
i didn't realise that i was mentally abused until i had my own children, i knew that i was physically but i didnt see that as abuse i thought it was my own fault because after they did what they would do, they would always appologise or say 'its your fault' 'you made me do this' so i kind of accepted it
That is horrible. You did NOT deserve that, and it was NEVER your fault. They made themselves do it. You don't have to accept it ever again (if you still are). And you don't have to deal with it alone.
I absolutely love her
Too many on the panel. Strong chemistry, but the shows too short for all those opinions
I agree tbh. Too often they are rushing and squeezing in opinions.
Haven't they had 5 hosts for years?
No. It's an hour too long.
I disagree with the lady in the brown jacket, I don't think the title or picture was harsh. The mother was not a good person, that's like saying if you're happy that a convicted pedophile is not in your life anymore, then it's harsh feeling so because you're related. Jennette is speaking up and finding herself and the cover is very appropriate for who her mother is and the abuse she endured for TOO long.
I loved the book SO much!! But I feel the people who say it was funny idk they either didn’t read it or don’t understand how it feels to be in this type of situation.. bc even though she may throw some jokes about her abuse in there it is really deeply sad and does not feel good it’s just a defense mechanism so for me it was like taking me through her journey as she felt certain ways and the feeling was not a light funny feeling for me.. but the book was amazing! It really moved me
I like how you said that. :) I agree with every word you said. I loved the book too. One of the finest I've read in a long time.
She is so articulate!
People really are mad that the façade or veil of mothers being nice and gentle is being peeled back.... RELAX, it's HER truth.
I can't be the only person that saw she was writing a tell all and think she was finally going to expose Nickelodeon( if the abuse happened) but I was actually surprised that it was about her mom/upbringing.
While it’s not the focus, she exposes some stuff that went on with Nickelodeon too. 👍
@@cruWITHaU and others backed her up on that too
Bless her heart 🥹
There obviously was something wrong with her Mother My mother was abusive also Touching someone inappropriately is totally unacceptable She could have bought her Mom up on charges
Exactly sad
@@eavymuturuh3717 it's sad mental health is frowned on
Well, I can tell you this. You don't have to deal with it alone.
I don't like the gaslighting that the interviewer said the name was a bit harsh. Nope.. Read the book.
When people say the book title is harsh, I just think can you just for one second not think about your own mother - and actually realise that this woman’s mother must have treated her so terribly that she’s glad she is dead, like why isn’t that easy to understand?!
Reading her book right now and it's excellent. I grew up with two toxic parents who were abusive. My dad has gotten help and is better but my mother remains mentally and verbally abusive towards me and my brother.
From one abuse survivor to another...you are not alone.
So happy someone was brave enough to say it, I'm glad my abusive mom is gone, too!
Hello how are you doing?