Coming Out | I'm Gay and This is My Story
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- Опубліковано 1 жов 2024
- I am gay and this is my coming out story.
(important update below)
I hope that this message reaches anyone who may need a message of hope. I am open about my story so please feel free to share this video.
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IMPORTANT UPDATE 10 Years Later
I came out as gay 10 years ago today-and it’s a day that shattered me and forever changed my life. It’s also the moment that saved my life. 🏳️🌈❤️🩹
The night I posted my coming out video, I went to Gasworks park to look at the skyline. I’ve seen the skyline a thousand times before but this was the first time looking at the lights that I finally felt the world was actually open to me. I could see the world, and for the first time in my life the world could see me.
I can’t describe the self-hatred and loneliness I felt leading up to April 30th, 2013. It felt like I was the only person in the world who was so flawed, so wretched, so undeserving of love that there was no hope for me. Before I moved to accept myself, there were moments I didn’t think I could continue-that I felt being alive would be more painful than not…
Today I AM celebrating 10 years of LIFE that I’ve been able to experience because I came out. 10 years of growth, 10 years of healing, and 10 years I didn’t think I’d have.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. You are a beautiful person, Matt; never doubt that.
I’m 76; grew up in a time when gay was defined as lighthearted and cheerful. Homosexuality was sinful, and as a Christian I felt that I would be condemned to hell for all eternity. It took me a very long time to come to grips with my homosexuality. But there was always something deep inside of me that gave me hope. It’s over twenty-five years ago now that I wrote this poem. I hope that it will help others who are struggling, for the inner voice that spoke to me is the same gentle voice that speaks to each of us, if only we listen. It is Love; and it simply desires to set us free.
Peace,
Richard
I Have Already Set You Free
When I was born so long ago
I did not know what life would be.
And as I grew my world grew too
So many people here with me.
But I was different, so I thought
No one to tell what I did feel.
Though close at hand, a world away
My hopes and dreams were far from real.
I did not understand my life
Or why I had to live with fear.
It wasn’t ‘til much later yet
I realized that I was queer.
A prisoner within my mind
No one to tell my troubles to.
No one but God, within my heart
Did tell me then what I must do.
“Be still, my son, for all is well
Your life is what it’s meant to be.
The babe you were, the man you are
Was destined from eternity.
“Do not regret what you’ve become
I love you now in every way.
Receive my love, then pass it on
It matters not that you are gay.
“My gift of life has honored you
And what I ask is that you be
A caring, giving, loving man
I have already set you free.”
I feel for you. I was openly gay as a elementary school student in the 1980's, during the heights of the AIDS crisis, when primarily gay men were dying. The bullying and discrimination from teachers and my community was intense, and continues today. But, as a little kid, I knew they were full of s***, and that has always helped me cope. Keep the great videos coming!
You can say it here. The teachers were full of shit.
I just found your video, and I HAVE to tell you that you made me so happy and proud.I'm a 69 year old Bi/gay guy. I came up in the 1970,s. I get how you were feeling. Now that you've come out life will get better and better for you. If you ever need to talk, I'm right here. Cheers
We have come a long way since my teen struggles in the late 1960's. I don't usually watch coming out videos, but I watched this one. My husband and I have been together for 30 years. We are radicals because we lived our life as no different than anyone else. Accepting oneself is the first step to loving yourself.
This rough heavy metal guy supports you fully. Be yourself by all means and be happy and find a companion, because compaionship is what we need as living souls. Love ya, mate! ♥♥♥
Well said! Thank you ❤️
@@itsmichaelandmatt greetings from Italy I am Italian
What a great gift this video is for those struggling with self-acceptance! You are saving lives and giving hope and what more could anyone want? Thank you for your honesty and courage. So much good will come from this!
Wow. I’m so glad your parents were so kind and did what parents should do. I’m 55yo and gay. I’ve had a partner for 23 years. You are strong. You are loved and you are so brave and special for being so open about your life. By making a video like this you will save lives and you will help countless others. I’m just a guy on the other side of the world who you’ll never know know or meet but I just want you to know that to is video is so special. Thank you for being so open and so willing to help others. Craig - Australia
You are a beautiful, normal person who happens to be gay. You are worthy of all life has to give. You are fortunate to have loving supportive parents. All LGBTQ+ people are God’s children. Good lives all of you. God is Love. Not hate. Don’t let anyone convinced you otherwise. Thanks for sharing your story.
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NOBODY CARES! That you are GAY! Good grief. What a self-absorbed narcissistic teenager…..typical. Quit acting as if coming out as gay is a big deal! It’s not…anymore! Ok? So…get over your IMMATURE self…..AND GROW UP!
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Easy to think how much better it is now than twenty years ago (when I came out) AND then it was easy to say it was easier than 20 years before when I was too scared to come out...reality is, coming out is always frightening, liberating, and takes courage! I am proud of you.
Thank you!! It’s amazing how much better it is now than just a short while ago. I know that’s not the case many places around the world. I hope my story resonates with someone ❤️
@@ajitadonismanilal9105 I am so sorry--the trauma you experiencced will live with you for a long time...at 58, I am still not fully aware of how much damage was done from the fear of coming out. But you keep working at it and IT DOES GET BETTER!!!
@@itsmichaelandmatt you are good to share your story and we are all bound together in a brotherhood forged from the experience of coming out as gay men. We need to hear each others' stories so we can remember we are not alone.
@@ajitadonismanilal9105 I ate away my anxiety too and carry an extra 150 lbs. I get it. I really do. I still have anxiety when I have to "out" myself. I teach at a university and I always slide in that I am gay just because I don't want to build relationships and then be "discovered." I get nervous every time--and nothing has ever gone awry in my life when I came out. It still makes me jittery.
ua-cam.com/video/5QqMQNPy2LU/v-deo.htmlsi=h8A5G_2lzhS_T2m9
G'day it's Steven from Down Under
I'm not sure how I stumbled across your video today but I'm glad I did.
As a father and uncle I love our kids no matter what they are.
I think you're a brave young man and I wish you well.
Stay strong and help others that need your guidance.
All the best to you son.
This was beautiful and raw. You are so powerful and will help so many/have helped so many with these words. We are not a mistake; we make the world a brighter, more colorful place. Thank you for sharing your story.
Thank you for listening. I’ve been learning a ton as I’ve lived my life more openly. Grateful to be here
As a follow up to my first reaction. You are not alone. I or We here are always ready to listen... Welcome to the gayclub. Let us stay in touch ❤👍😃
I’m so happy you are here!
Tnx for reply. The Canal Pride was so impressive. More than 60 boats. Also a nice slogan this Year. # You Are Included. Have you ever been to gaypride in Amsterdam. In case you have not you should go. On you tube there will be a report so you can see for yourself. Btw where do you life. I see that you have a boyfriend that is chil and a cat. In case you want I can tell something more about myself and my boyfriend. Have a nice gay day 😊🐱
Made me cry 10 years ago and made me cry again today. Wishing you all the best.
❤️ feeling this just as much today as yesterday. It’s been a crazy ride
Your life sounds a lot like mine was. I prayed many times a day but it didn’t change anything so I’m glad I am a gay man and have had a great life you will to sweetie ❤️
I am so pleased for you that you were able to do this. I have only been out of the closet myself for the past five years. The difference for me is that I am 63 years old, and I have lived with this all my life because when I was young, this was just not doable. Coming out of the closet in those days would have had catastrophic effects on my life. Since I told the truth and came clean about my sexuality, I have had immense support both from my family (some of whom were already in on my secret) and more meaningful for me, every single one of my old school friends. They have been amazing and out supported everything I do. Just over a week ago many of them joined me on my first ever pride March. Things have so moved on from where I was at your age and I must admit that I am a little jealous that I could not have had that, but I am also eternally grateful that your generation are so much freer than my generation were. The struggle has been long and hard, but it has also been worth it just to see young people like you being able to have a life as a free and open individual.
bro you look like every grindr pfp I ever saw
Thank you for sharing your story. Hooray for you! And for everyone who needs to hear what you are saying.
Very interesting Mike. Re-posting your coming out story is a great idea that I wish many others would do. Constantly, UA-cam are suggesting coming out videos from 10 years ago. And I’m often asking myself that I wish I knew how they are currently. I know where you are, married to Matt and preparing to grow your family with children. It’s wonderful and I’m wishing you both the success of children while on this journey to make it happen. I’m still watching and send you both much love. Three hearts, one for each of you > ❤❤❤ ;)
Thank you so much Calvin. I really wanted to re-share this video as it’s how our relationship began (Michael and I), so I think it’s been quite cathartic to see it again 10 years later
i totally agree with you about re posting of 'coming out" storys and catching up with people who only posted the one video. i've often come across old coming out stories and attempted to google the person 5 or 10 years after the origional and found nothing or found a dozen unrelateed people with the same name.
Fine coming-out video, thoughtful and direct. You're very articulate, clearly explaining your feelings and your story. Well done!
Nobody saw it coming 😂 No buddy. Welcome to the happiest family in the world! The world wouldn't shine without our gifted capabilities. Praying is a waste of time anyway. God doesn't exist. Such an American thing.
It’s a part of who you are after accepting it you’ll be able to move on with your life.
So says a married (20 years)gay man.
Dealing with the religion imposed issues will take years if you can get professional help do it!
Hi, you are really brave to tell. Hats off to you.
Love You so much! Thanks for that great video and expressing yourself.
Congratulations on learning to love and accept yourself! It's SO easy for me to say how coming out in recent years is so much easier than it was 33 years ago when I started coming out, but the fact is even now it is a massive deal for some of us. One thing you said that made me smirk... "It's a huge part of who I am" One thing I've found is the longer I've been out the more I realize being gay is just a small part of what makes me who I am. Be careful of letting the gay tag define everything about yourself. I was like this for a while, denying interests that I was told didn't fit the community. Be yourself and don't limit interests and experiences in the name of being gay. I did this for a while and was TOTALLY miserable. I recently came out to anyone and everyone in my life which includes a very large antique car community, some snowmobiling friends and just varied acquaintances. I'm very proud of all of them for being supportive. There is no way this would have happened 30 years ago. Things are getting better! Good luck, life's journey is a blast and sometimes as scary as a roller coaster. My husband and I just celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary... To this day I can't believe I can say that! Never thought it would become legal when I was young!!
Lots of thanks for sharing. :) Life is great after acceptance of who you truly are. Or, more truly, life becomes how it should be. With all the issues we all face, despite our sexuality, religion or other backgrounds, All the best xxx
A lot of courage and honesty ❤❤❤ enjoy your life proudly.
Good on you for having the courage in being authentic and owning yourself. ❤
Well done, a brilliant video full of hope and love. take care of yourself.
I'm so glad you found supportive people to help you through the ruff times. You are a beautiful person inside and out. I'm an older gay guy and how difficult it was being different from everyone else. Stay strong and I hope you find love and supportive relationship. I will follow your channel and look forward to seeing you happy from this day forward.
So proud of you! I wish I had your strength when I was your age. We are not mistakes. ❤
This had me in tears! You are an amazing person never ever ever ever stop being that amazing person! I for one am glad your parents saved you! You deserve to be here and to be a Happy Gay Man! 😀😀😀😀
Good for you, create the world of friends you deserve. Thank you you your parents ❤🙏
you are a superhero for sharing. glad your parents were there for you. Sorry you had to struggle for so long. much love to you
Excellent use of words. I believe the best part of all of your words is "you're born gay". It is not a choice. I am so proud you chose to stay with the world. I am a retired middle school teacher who knew students who knew they were gay but closeted, students who were out and proud but mostly to kids trying to figure it out. I ate lunch in my classroom and as the school year progressed I found I had a "lunch bunch" eating their meals in my room with me, either from home or purchased in the cafeteria. One group of a specific year were proud to call themselves The Outcasts. About ten boys and girls and not all were there for being gay. Lunch became an open safe place. I am so proud you are here. I am so proud you love yourself. I am so proud you want to help. God Loves ALL of us though some say otherwise. I am in my mid sixties bit admire what you have already done and well as what you want to do. God Bless YOU, your family, your partner.👍🤟🥰👏
I also had a lunch bunch in my classroom, when I was a high school teacher, that became so popular that it became nearly unmanageable. I was a piranha with the other bigoted faculty who labeled me as a "fag lover". I told them to eat shit and ignored them. I know that the sessions were useful by the years later thank yous from some of the participants.
Thank you for your courage, and especially for your faith in yourself. May you be that light of inspiration so many young people need to see and hear; may that One Whose Voice is whispered in the Winds continue with you.
Thank you so much 🙏🏼 I really appreciate this ❤️
One day, a couple of years ago, one of my children told me and my wife he had something important to tell us. We used to be evangelicals; I was an evangelical pastor. When my son came out to us, I had long left the church. Glad I did it. I saw my son’s pain when coming out. We embraced him and I said that what is important is love others as you want to be loved, do good, be far, and fight for those who have no voice. Jesus said in heaven we will not have gender, so if for Jesus gender is not transcendent, what is going to be important for us.
You are Beautiful how you are.Enjoy Live now.
Hope you will stay Strong.❤
You are a wonderful special person because God doesn't make mistakes, your honesty and love will save so many from the dark places we have experienced. Enjoy life to the full my Bro✌🏳️🌈🇬🇧
m
Don't let this "social media" thing overtake you!! We are NOT your real friends, don't be fooled and don't be in crisis because you're an homosexual! So are we all and imagine the stress of becoming openly gay at 16 when you were one of a biker gang in 1966!!! You have no problem in this day and age and you couldn't be more lovely than you are because you are NOT a screaming fairy! You are a personable young man!! As for being a sinner?? Religion is merely a prop when needed! NOT a judge, jury and executioner! Leave the new testament out of it! God made you and he loves all his makings. He made no mistake with you and you have nothing to be ashamed of!!! Good luck young man and beware of your belief in this awful world of "social media": it will NOT resolve all or any of your issues. Bless you my young friend.
First, that was a great video. I just wanted to hug you. I am really proud of you and your journey. You don't know how many young boys you are helping...drawing back from that cliff of self-destruction. You seem beautiful to me--inside and out. Embrace your sexual truth and contribute. Love is such a power. Use your powers for good. Finish college, find your love and maybe you can be a loving father to your boy in the future. Good on you, kid.
Can’t believe we still need videos like yours in 2023. can’t believe you in todays times had to how up feeling unacceptable. Feeling ashamed and insecure. Your feelings should be just accepted as part of the spectrum of human life. Life in general actually. With about 20 years of more life experience let me say: chances your life will be good and happy did just increase with you standing to yourself. I wish you all the best you deserve happiness and love.
I’m wondering why in 2023 anyone needs to feel this way. But it is what it is.
I can connect with this video.
Which me makes me even more frustrated with why our younger generation need to go through this ordeal. Should we in 2023 not be free to decide who we want to be?
All I’ve got to say is
Don’t waste your fking time on what everyone needs to say.
Get up and out.
Stand up tor you believe in.
Stand up for what you want.
You might hold back now as you feel you’ll be able to still live a status quo life. But you need eventually need to make a decision.
Get out there and work on how you can make you life better.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I felt like so many times you were speaking the words that my younger self so despirately wanted to say. Our experienced might have been separated by 20 years, but this touched me in a way no other youtube video has ever touched me. You're a beautiful person, Matt. And you deserve to be loved and accepted for exactly who you are.
Major love to you my friend. People don't understand the struggle is REAL. I lost my 2 best friends a short time apart to their demons, part of which I suspect are the same ones you've overcome. We need allot less hatred & more understanding in this world.
A beautiful and important video that should be shown in every social studies high school class in the nation. Your message is right on the button. You are a totally worthwhile person who deserves absolute happiness. Also, you are very attractive!!!! Jim in Thailand.
Proud of you, man!
It's ok buddy. I went through the same situation like u did. Just remember God loves u and he doesn't make mistakes. He made u fir a reason because he has a special plan for u. Don't ever give up! We need u and God needs u! We all love u!!
You are a rescource and a sweet soul and a handsome! Your message found its way through to an 83 year old and her son. Please live and live and live as life should live! ♥♥♥ ♥♥♥ ♥♥♥
Just be what you wanna be! I'm gay, too. Kind regards from Germany!
Much love to you man! Im 25 and just came out to my parents. All the things you talked about struggling with I went through too. Growing up in the south really made it hard trying to accept being gay. But slowly things are improving. Thank you for sharing your story ❤
It's amazing how many of our stories are so similar. I've recently gotten there myself. But it's been hard! Thanks for sharing your story.
You are a truly awesome human being that deserves tremendous respect. Anyone with an ounce of intellectual moral honesty should be proud to call you their friend and consider themselves fortunate to have you in their life. I look forward to seeing more of your videos.
I am so great full that you are doing this video and are able to tell your story. This will help so many people! I wish you the very best. David
We are born gay and you can not pray the gay away. I am sooo... happy that you didn't take your life. I am glad you are in a good place now on the road to self love!
I’m so sorry you had to go through this I’m straight but my family get mad at me because I believe being gay isn’t a sin love is love and nobody is mistake
You are brave and finally on the road to self respect and happiness.
Matt, you are courageous!
Relating a story requires reliving the context around the story and the environment of the moment. I could see that in your excellent, kind, empathetic, and RAW video. Reliving the self-hatred. I know precisely how you felt. I once had a rifle barrel in my mouth- and was slowly squeezing the trigger - until I stopped. Not learning to think about not having a tomorrow, I rethought my disastrous decision to kill myself. I was twenty-two years old. I treasure the intervening forty-seven years, having lived those years as positively as I could. I met the man who would become my husband thirty-two years ago, in 1991. I don't deserve him, but I'm not giving him back! My family loves him - sometimes I think more than they do me. He's smarter, funnier, and more empathetic than I. Deciding to NOT put a hollow-point slug through my brain was the best decision of my life. No friend rejected me when I came out - in 1990.
I hope you received love and affirmation from your family and friends when you came out. You seem like you would have been a good friend of mine; I hope your family believed you are the same loving man you were before you came out to them. And I hope your future encompasses your dreams and you can fulfill them. Best wishes to you - and thank you for sharing your story with us.
I am so sorry that you had to go through so much pain before you arrived to where you are today! I applaud your bravery. And thank you for sharing your struggle ❤️🫶🏼 I really appreciate you watching my coming out story and reflecting on. I feel seen!
It's because of guys like this that I'm so happy to be gay too.
You come across as a smart, beautiful and courageous young man encumbered by the societal expectation of heterosexuality as most gay men are and have been for decades. The psychological suffering that this costs is horrendous. I recently came across some neurological studies that have found specific modifications of the hypothalamus before birth can switch sexual orientation from hetero to homo. This needs more research, but there seem to be biological determinants to being gay, as we have been telling people for a long time.
I think that’s a pretty fascinating area of study. I really hope we learn more about that soon! I haven’t heard of the hypothalamus theory until now, so I feel pretty excited by that! Thank you
I remember seeing this in the early days of UA-cam when coming out online was a bold move. Congrats on your 10 year anniversary and I’m glad we’ve crossed paths a few times! Wishing you and Michael continued success in life!
It’s been quite the journey! Very very happy we’ve crossed paths ❤️ such a positive impact you’ve had on me!
You are very sincere, caring, and compassionate. You would make a great counselor! Think about it! Thanks for sharing.
Glad you developed the courage to come out x
Loved your story. That is exactly correct to accept being gay is a wonderful thing to embrace. It makes you special since you are not part of the majority and there is absolutely nothing wrong with it or yourself. You explained everything very well. You are doing good in the world for expressing your true feelings and making this video for others who are depressed about their situation.
Thank you so much 🫶🏼 really means a lot to hear!
By coming out, it encourages others to come out.
Thank You for putting out your story. If it helps just
One person, then to have been a help in this world.
Thank you ❤️
Proud of you young man!
Hello mike, new to your channel, I support you all the way dude, excepting my sexuality as a teenager was so hard for me too.
Thanks for sharing!
❤ be proud u are free❤
Warm hugs!💞
You don't have to be like everybody else, just be yourself, accept who or what you are. There is nothing wrong for being different in my opinion this is what is making you a unique person. Be happy and have a long prosperous life handsome. You got my vote.
I LOVE YOU !
The same as James. I am 69 next week. I was in a relationship for 23 years, he passed away suddenly. I have been with my current husband for almost 15 years. Love yourself. I think the US is more difficult than the UK to find acceptance, but it sounds like you are on the way.
Matt, thank you so much for your story. I am an 83 year old gay man. I did not come out to anyone except a very few close friends until I was 60 years old. Shortly after I came out my friend took me to Provincetown on Cape Cod a very gay friendly town. We were walking down Market Street in the morning holding hands and this most wonderful feeling came over me that I will never forget. I CAN BE ME! I don't have to hide any more or feel ashamed. I wish your video could be seen by all young people (and their parents). I feel so badly for the young gay person who doesn't have understanding parents and friends.
I ❤ur parents bro!! Ur there little boy. You will always be their michevious young kid.
They have to be applauded. The Pope himself said about Gay people.." who am I to judge' We should all react that way. Ur a strong individual who have helped so so many more by this video !!!!
I love this ❤️ thank you so much
No.....I thank you!!!!
I’m a bit older but wanted to say WELCOME TO THE FAMILY!! Great parents 🫶.. as we grow older and start to believe in ourselves or just get to a place where one just doesn’t care anymore life goes on .. thank you for sharing your story ❤❤❤❤❤
It took GREAT COURAGE to make and post this video, THANK YOU. THANK GOD you didn't end your life. The world is a much better place for YOU being in it.
YOU are good and valid person I hope you meet some one to LOVE and who will LOVE YOU for who you are. Take care and have a long and happy life. 💘💘💘💘💘💘
Thinking of my own coming out, 43 years ago, your video makes me feel a bit sad, but the overpowering feeling is: PLEASE love yourself! Just like your parents love and support you! You're 'exposure' here deserves nothing but deep respect! And finally I feel glad to hear you say your own discovered conclusion. Because that's simply the truth.
LOTS of LOVE, that's what I wish you with all my heart! ❤
Wow ….you just took the first step now enjoy each day you have till it’s over be proud be careful be yourself …..
YOU ARE NOT ALONE 😱😱
💞 🫂 !!!
... we live perhaps one of the most emotionally difficult lives imaginable. It's impossible for a mere linear string of words to describe our mind and heart's reality. We're fine. Absolutely fine. God really does exist... and He LOVES us ALL completely fully incomprehensibly! That's The Truth. And by the way... you're CUTE as ____ (fill in the blank 🥰). And your heart is just as beautiful. I'd sit and talk with you all day! Blessings, brother ❤
Never be ashamed at being gay, why do you think the month of June is all about LGBTQ+ Pride? It has nothing to do with pride in the biblical sense but instead celebrating that which used to be looked down upon. It’s about being visible, love, community, and compassion. 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 yes, it gets better may be "meme-ish" now but when the entire message debuted, it was like I was finally struck by lightning and was validated. Being gay just means you’re attracted to those of the same sex. It shouldn’t (in an ideal world) have an impact on any other piece of your life.
Check your engagement metrics @1:27 it's just too much - talk, go on talk, but don't talk ABOUT what you're going to talk about for more than 1.5 min - it's also emotionally offputting
Hey that's for me... bye.
_not like I'd 👎nor will I consider a new SUB - it was just painfully awkward to watch_
I'm truly impressed. You seem to have given this amazing speedy in a single take out anyway I couldn't spot interruptions. Not even a consumed lawyer like me can do so!
(IF) Only my Time Machine wasn't on the fritz. I would go back in time & wrap my arms around you... Matt; I've been 'OUT' for over 50 Years. Good to see this video pop up in my feed.
Prayers have helped me Except Me for Me. Thank u for sharing such a personal part of your life. Your still young and Your still have ups and Downs regarding your Our Sexuality. One-Day at a Time Gay is OK. Keep safe out there it's a Big Bad And Good World God Bless
I'm so sorry that you went through all of that. I figured out that a God of love couldn't have made me gay,as punishment. Glad you seem to be happy. Hugs to your parents!
In the Netherlands is Saturday gay pride. Do you know what the moto is: Proud to be out... Think about that! I have subscribed on your channel.😃❤👍
I’d like to wish you a Happy Pride!! I hope the weekend is fantastic. Thank you so much for the well wishes and for subscribing! ❤️
Cool Video. I am coming up on my 15th year anniversary of coming out at 52. I grew up in Church Culture; 20 years Catholic, 35 years Evangelical. I was very into all things Christian; I even went to the Mission Field twice. I joined the Gay Christian Network. Things were good. Then something happened. I had a shift in my thinking. I de-converted. I went back into the closet as an atheist. Coming out as atheist seems more frightening than coming out as gay.
Amen! Perhaps the best message I've ever ♥ heard delivered from the heart and soul. Like so many who've commented, I'm old and can absolutely relate to your story. You and young people of your generation please keep advocating for understanding and kindness. Diversity should be supported and celebrated, not stigmatized and persecuted. Like a little plaque I saw years ago said, "I know I'm someone special, 'cause God don't make any junk!"
Just a minor note: Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is actually one of the most effective psychological tools that therapists have to help people with their mental health issues.
However, it can be abused and misapplied (as apparently, it was for Matt) and used to harm. Being gay isn't a mental health problem. It's not a deficiency. It's a natural variation in the human condition the same way that being red-headed is or being left-handed. It's not common but it's natural and healthy.
(You're describing "aversion therapy" which is horrible)
I congratulate your courage in putting yourself out there on the internet. As a 64-year-old pan-sexual/homoromantic, I struggled with my acceptance of myself until I was 40 years old. I attempted suicide a few times in my teens. My grandfather even told me that it would be better if I took the lesson of Judas and hung myself than to contaminate anyone else. I am going to therapy now, and it is helping to get rid of my internalized homophobia and self-hatred. I, too, was a people pleaser, hoping that I could make everyone like me while I kept my sexuality a secret. You, young man, are leaps and bounds ahead of me. I wish you all the happiness and joy in the world. May peace be with you.
I noticed Thor's Hammer around your neck; if you are following a Norse path, know that same-sex attraction was not frowned upon as long as you married and mated, increasing the population. Even Woden had sex with Thor, it is buried in the Havermal, but it is there.
Blessed Be.
Everybody's coming out story is different and a lot of us, like you, have a hard time, in part because of societal expectations. It's ludicrous that people place so much emphasis on one's sexuality, even though homosexuality has been with mankind ever since we existed. It's a natural part of who we are, contrary to what evangelical Christians will tell us. I finally came out in the 1980s, after more than 10 years of hating myself for it. Now, at 62, I'm proud of who I am and proud of my more than 20 years relationship with my partner. I'm glad that your parents were there to support you. My parents died when I was 17, before I was able to tell them, but, I was disowned by my wider family for a long time when I did come out. Now, I'm strong enough to not care what they say, so they are mostly ignored. Continue to love yourself, love your man and love your family.
Such a moving video. You're a great guy and it's fortunate that you're now happy and have found yourself. Best wishes and may you leave the negative thoughts behind you forever.❤
I am just amazed that young people have such angst in 'coming out'. I came out at 15 (50 years ago). Not been a problem for me. Just an fYI :anyone could figure out your are gay. My partner (of 23 years ) and I have three sucessful businesses and are highly respected in the community, no one cares whe are gay (its a relatively small town too), but then we are just people, who act like normal people, and have nothing to prove. Never felt the need to be screaming it from the rooftops. If someone asks, we tell them , but it not an every minute of the day conversation. Being gay does not "define" you as a person , its how you live your life as productive citizen.
I’m 68. I WISH I came out at your age. But it was a very different time back in the 70’s and not safe to come out. However I’m now happily married to a wonderful man I met about 20 years ago. We’ve been married for 8. Go out and have a great life my friend. Gay life can be great. Hugs.
You are such an amazing young man. This world would’ve lost a beautiful soul if you had taken your life. I know exactly how you felt at your age, and how hard it is. We are not alone. You are a lucky one however. I’m in my 60’s, and if you think you had to put on a straight act when you were going through school, etc., imagine going through that in the 60’s and 70’s. I had no friends in school, no one to tell. I tried starting a conversation with my mom when I was 16, and it didn’t get very far. I found out really quick that if the conversation had finished as I wanted it to, I would have been disowned. So I kept it all inside my entire life, even working macho, manly jobs, where it wouldn’t have been tolerated being gay, to help live a fake life. I never found anyone to come out to, until I was like 39 years old, when I finally met someone like me. Even though he was like 17 years younger than me, over the years we became vary close. Almost inseparable. He was the only one I had in my entire life, and I lost him to a stroke in 2017, when he was only 42. That defiantly hurt. So I’m back living in the closet, where it’s very dark most of the time, but I stay busy. You are so lucky to be able to come out at your age, and have accepting parents and friends. I know, in my heart, videos like you just posted, do help others your age, get through this so they, their family and friends, can love and accept them for who they are, the way they were created by God. Not someone they are supposed to be, because of what is the “social norm”.
Please stay strong, live your life and be happy
Congratulations on your positive growth! It sounds like you have some wonderful parents and it’s clear they have a very special son who is packed full of love. Please know you have a LGBTQ+ family of choice all around this world that love and support you. It fantastic that you have decided to make yourself available to other young people who may be experiencing the very same issues you have worked through. You are a valuable and important person. 🌹
I'm in high school I keep it in.why struggling for.. it's your life stop being a Drama queen..dude. you are you.
It is so sad that people are not aware that if you are born gay, you will be gay forever no matter what you do!
As an 88 year old gay man who attempted to submerge my gayness by marrying a woman for 18 years (4 children), of course, it broke up!
Thank goodness that young people are now expressing themselves as gay unapologetically!
Of course, acceptance is affected by parental acceptance and there are parents out there who would "kick their child out of the house" rather than support them as gay!
I have always wondered why God's gift of gayness is a curse to so many people!!!
What confuses me more is that you prayed about it, but nothing happened. There's difference between just praying and praying and doing. Did you look at pornography? Especially with the internet and porn being easily available, did you stay away from it? Did you watch gay films? Or was it simply attraction and you thought guys were just more sexier than woman, especially since men are built stronger? Or was it just the face?
What also anazes me is thzt you got married in two months. Maybe you were seeing someone fir years way before you made thus coming out video.
Even with us straight people -- and i will even say LGBTIQ people -- it seems a bit rash to settle down after 3 months. In fact, many people won't tie the knot just after 3 months. And statisticaly, marriafe among gay people is low since many don't marry or confine themselves. Marriage is actually a good thing. It helps you to stay committed.
This is not a hate message or message about conversion or whatever. Im not going to try to convert you to a life of straight orientation, because even i myself can relate to thinking men or twinks are good looking. But i dont entertain the idea. And for my own salvation-- not yours but mine -- i need to give up the sinful nature. I know it is there and i acknowledge it. And im proud of who i am. Sbd ive been a 44 year old virgin. So i definitely know if you desire something, you can go after it. I have seen gay people get nsrried to women and even have children.
But now that you have married a man, its going to be impossible. And the ladt thing you want to do is piss off your husband. So stay true to him. You can love him just like you would love a woman. And since you are soulmates, i bet it would be devastating for both of you to file for a divorce. And i don't want anyone to feel depressed or devastated.
Jusr do me a favor. Love your husband. Love him as you lobe yourself. But remember, if you are ever curious if a gay man can be straight, continue your curiosity. But know at the same time, if you were ever to turn straight, it would be devastating to you because your husband and your parents are the only ones who have truly loved you on this earth. So just give up this lifestyle --like me-- you would have to find someone who as sacrificed more for you than even your mother or father.
I felt exactly as you did! Today I have zero support from my family, they do not even speak to me. I feel terribly! I totally understand you. I wish we could speak and share stories and just vent, 😢! You are lucky to have great parents
You are strong and brave. You will back and laugh some day...that will be great. I'm 67 and have 3 hetro brothers and being the youngest it was cruel. But here I am
I can't do anything with my thoughts, I'm 26 and still can't get out of my shell 🙂 I have someone but everything is hidden that part of my life. I'm in a country where it's illegal to be me 🙂 I don't know what I will do, I am scared of anything and everything. pray for me 🙏