Coming out to seriously homophobic parents - my story
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- Опубліковано 9 лис 2012
- I had a pretty horrific time when I came out, hopefully this video might help some of you who are or have gone through coming out to either homophobic or super religious parents. I originally uploaded this back in 2009, but took it down a few weeks after a 'friend' threatened to spread the video around. Anyway, spooked me enough that I made it private at the time. Anyway, it's back again :)
Back then it certainly wasn't an easy time and it was pretty rough for the following year. Now that some time has passed, me and my mum are closer than ever.
It just takes time...
Not accepting parents should be told: "Oh, Mom, Dad, I accept you are not accepting me for the time being, it is hard for you, I know, but don't forget: This is probably JUST A PHASE you are going through now. Sooner or later you will have to accept me as I am. There is no other way out. But... take your time..." ;-)
jürg der Grosse : brilliant!
5 years later, your advice is still perfect.
years ago, a friend, who was the first person i knew to come out to his parents, used that advice.
He was in his last year at university. He came home for the weekend. His dad took him aside to tell them the "bad" news. His older brother who just finished grad school, had just come out to him!
my friend got excited and forgot who he was talking to and said "WOW, SO AM I"
His parents, were devastated and offered to send him to get help from professionals, who knew how to cure him. He told them , "I know who i am, it's you who need to get help, to except my brother and me!"
That is such a fabulous response. YES, turn things on it's head.
This is such a great way to get the perspective on just about every thing. Where you want to see the proportion from the landscape, judge the truth from everything you can know, but of reality and therefore relevance, with anything you have to deal with, make a decision or to form an informed acceptance.
Eh?
PS. A little extra. We should put the Coming Out question into a certain perspective, literally, as it has to do with the future of our parents, and I would add: "...take your time. And never forget, once you are old, I mean real old, you certainly want me to visit you, at home or at a retirement home, care for you, tell you about my life. I'm sure you don't wanna miss that part..."
PSPS: My parents, both, were mildly accepting. No big drama, no big cheers. In our mid twenties, I could bring my at-the-time boyfriend home, which also applied to his family reciprocally. Father *1920 died in 2017, Mom *1926 died in January this year.
I really like this reply.
I'm a 45 year old divorced father of 1 son who is a loyal follower/subscriber/viewer of your page.
As you are well aware of by now, your video's are very educational and entertaining to everyone who views.
Please keep up the good work and do not give up on the video's. Your hard work has is enjoyed by many.
I am now a loyal follower/subscriber/viewer of your page thanks to my son and his friends.
When my wife and I divorced, my son chose to live with me so that he could stay at the same high school.
After graduation he chose to join the Marines for some reason - WHY??? - I found out why a year later.
One day while we were eating dinner he nervously told me that he was gay and loved me very much.
He told me that he has known for awhile about this feelings and was afraid to tell me. Didn't want to hurt me.
He said that he he had joined the Marines so I would be proud of him.
He thought it would make it easier on me when found out that he was gay.
I really did not even suspect nor did I care but was glad he told me.
TOLD HIM THAT I LOVED HIM AND JUST WANT HIM TO BE HAPPY HIMSELF AND LIFE.
We now talk more than ever about what is happening in life, even about who he is seeing.
RECENT QUICK STORY ABOUT MY SON,
From time to time my home becomes a crash pad for my Marine son and his friends on leave from base.
The latest 4 day leave my son had was a lot different from all others I've witnessed.
My son invited 15 of his Marine buddies over for their 4 day Labor Day weekend leave.
I found out the whole group of guys were in various stages of lets say "finding themselves" surprised me.
Their leave developed into a 4 day marathon session of viewing UA-cam coming out videos.
PLUS they also viewed every episode of a Portuguese Soap Opera about Paulo & Miguel.
They were really hooked on all the story lines. I have to look up the soap opera soon.
Only time they ever left the house was to play in the pool.
Each guy purchased a case of beer for the weekend and planned on doing nothing but to relax for 4 days.
Sad to say that all the beer was gone the first night. I made 7 trips for beer & food during their stay.
Also had to turn into a maid for them (someone had to collect 100's of beer bottles) I WAS HAPPY TO DO SO.
The biggest surprise came for me the last day when they were leaving to go back to base.
Each one gave me a hug and thanked me for being so understanding of them. I proudly hugged them back.
Told them that "I was very proud them all and glad I got to know each one of them".
Seeing them all walking to their cars joking, laughing and smiling with each other made me tear up.
The best Labor Day weekend I ever had.
THANK YOU,
I found out your videos were viewed by all the guys during their stay.
Your video's made 16 Marines very happy over their past Labor Day leave.
A QUICK NOTE FROM ME TO OTHERS,
Knowing my son is gay, BUT OUT TO Me and few others has me very very concerned for his safety at times.
He has started to see another Marine which makes me very happy for him. Hard for them to go out on dates.
Asked my son him if I could meet him and I did on one of their leave. Nice guy by the way!
I love my son so much; don't ever want to loose him or his friends to senseless violence.
Make peace with your self, then with others.
Thanks,
ERIC
+Eric Hickman Good for you. Things will turn out fine if he has you as a father.
Thank you.
Your a great father... I'm VERY sure your son loves you! GOOD LUCK YOU TWO! \(-ㅂ-)/ ♥ ♥ ♥
@Gary Lee EXCUSE ME?
@Gary Lee you're an idiot
You're 7 years older now, and I hope you've gotten through the family cloud and other obstacles encountered on your way into adulthood. So much has happened in your internal and external life, I expect you've had the courage and perspective to find some happiness. Go with God.
James Robiscoe Yeah, me too. I hope he’s safe, healthy and happy...
It's your life and your story to tell. Have a happy life!
Anyone who rejects you because of Religion has FAILED at that Religion. Jesus mandated a life of Love, Compassion, Non-Judgement, and Charity.
Religion is a lie. It's only about power. This is achieved through fear. "Do this or else." It's the "or else" factor which nullifies any good that religion might achieve. Fear. Power through fear.
Especially a religion with a history of molesting children.
@@juanvelez8564 Greetings Juan. Many thanks for those excellent links. I have read the first, and find it extremely insightful and enlightened. I look forward to reading the second, and expect it to be equally enlightened, Best wishes to you and your loved ones. Damien
The one called Jesus was not exclusive, he spent time with prostitutes, tax collectors and Roman soldiers. He was a friend to everyone. The Old testament is about the history of the Jewish people. Some anti-gay Christians cherry pick bible verses to suit their belief. This is one of them.
From the book Leviticus:
20:13 “If a man lies with a male as he lies with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.”
The problem for these anti-gay Christians is that they ignore the other Leviticus verses.
20:9 He who curses his mother or father shall be put to death.
20:10 Adulterer and adulteress shall be put to death.
20:14 If a man takes a wife and mother… they shall be burned with fire.
Chapters 1 - 9 are all about animal sacrifice with a priesthood making sin and burnt offerings for atonement.
Chapter 15 is about male seminal discharges (venereal disease). If the man touches an earthen vessel it shall be broken. A sin offering and a burnt offering shall make the atonement.
Long ago humanity evolved to the point where they realized there was a higher power. Some thought they needed to appease/appeal to this power by throwing blood on the alter, animal sacrifice, human sacrifice, burnt offerings for atonement, breaking a dish if a man has a venereal disease and opposing same sex relationships. They were all wrong ideas. God never wrote one word in the bible, nor selected which books were included and which weren’t, people did.
There have always been people and animals which were born with a strong attraction to the same sex. Whether a relationship is same sex or opposite sex the same truths apply. Relationships that begin with sex never last, love and caring take time to develop. Be selective in who you choose as a partner.
My own coming out story was hard. My father said, "You disgust me," but he eventually accepted my relationship with my partner somewhat. My mother accepted my relationship, but she never accepted my family as real. But I accept the limitations of parents. I knew a child, however, whose father began to beat him up when he found out he was gay. He ended up in foster care. Now he has landed on his feet. Things turned out for him _in the long run_, but there were dark days.
I am gay too and my parents are homophobic and I decided to not have contact with them, because family is where you are accepted for who you are.
I made it private shortly after I uploaded it. Thought I may as well put it back on the other month. Hope that clears that up. : )
You are a great lad. No need to apologize for anything. This was a great video. Your mother will come along -- just give her time. She is a victim as you suggest of the things she has been fed in her religion, etc. She must think you choose to be gay. Ask her two things: 1) when did she decide to be straight? and 2) does she not understand that this is how you were born and if it's wrong why did God make you this way? Get her to a P FLAG meeting. Best Wishes.
It'll be 5 years (my god) this june since I told her and we've definitely come a long way from that day in june 2009. She will even go to a gay bar and always say the gays have a better taste in music, LOL!
Thanks for the nice message x
To Howie mont, your spot on, a great post mate!
devonguy02 I know
cassettiespagetie That is such joyous news. You should update on this site or add another YT video to tell ppl this good news.
If you have problems for religious/cultural reasons, this will set you free: “On Human Suffering and the Concept of God” - the psychological origin of religious beliefs
neomodernistpoetry.blogspot.com/2018/11/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html
or homoeroticpoems.blogspot.com/2018/06/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html
I know this was three years ago, but this is an amazing video. I just came out, and my parents were not to happy. but this video helped me, thank you
+brent mims I actually put this up in 2009 I think, not sure why is says 2012. Cheers man, means allot. Wish all the best for you.
brent mims did you really hate your parents
Fast forward to 2015. This is the type of video that starts the change.
Well done. Good luck in the future.
You did a great job of explaining the extreme nervousness that people experience when first coming out.
I love your accent, your beautiful way of expressing yourself, so sweetly, so gently, almost reading from a script, yet the authenticity of your words coming from your entire self, all absolutely charming....
you're right, it takes time. people can be so mean to their parents. you seem very understanding and sensitive.
Your video is great, no coming out video is easy or "perfect", they are not meant to be, you are sharing something difficult to share, and you did it well, so, THANK YOU for sharing. I'm gay, but if I was you parent I would love you and accept you unconditionally. I am proud to be a member of a community of people that includes you. The more people in our "tribe" the more proud I am to be a member of it. Take care, be proud and be yourself. :)
I paused after your mates reaction... I had that non dramatic reaction from Everyone! My parents included. Good for you man.
your very brave, and obviously very strong :) sadly both my parents are extreemly homophobic and I fear for my safety :/ Thankfully i have a friend who's mom said she would take me in if they find out and kick me out.
Nate Miller did you really hate your parents
Nate Miller did you really hate your parents so much if they didn’t accept you
Gary, that is a cruel thing to say. What do you wish upon yourself?
@Gary Lee So what? How does that affect you?
@Gary Lee Gary. What do you think you are doing here. Leave with your bullshit and let him be.
You wouldn't want this done to you, would you?
As a 14 year old girl who's contemplating coming out, I thank you. You're soooo brave. Also, you remind me of Andrew Scott (huge compliment).
Wow. That is profound. And strong. Riveted by your story of courage and determination. It not only applies to coming out. It applies to anyone struggling to find themselves and build a sense of self. You stood up for yourself and faced adversity. Thank you for sharing your story.
I give you a lot of credit for being brave enough to come out at all you have my respect for what it's worth!
You said important things that guys struggling with coming out needed to hear. I am impressed with your courage to face the issue with your mum. I wish you all the peace and happiness in the world. You're a good guy. You deserve nothing but the best.
Your mum was my dad. He passed before I could find the courage to tell him. I feared him tremendously. When I was 13, we were forbidden to attend one of my older brother's wedding because that brother was marrying a non-Catholic woman in a Lutheran service. If my dad reacted that way to a heterosexual marriage, imagine how he might have reacted to a gay son. It scared the crap out of me. And I wasn't strong enough to handle that kind of rejection.
My mom wasnt ready to hear it until she was almost 70, and since she had a hard life raising 11 children, I decided not to burden her with the information in her last years. She would have somehow (??) blamed herself, and no aging woman should be subject to that kind of guilt, stress or seld-doubt.
So I shared it with neither of them. Just as I haven't shared it with any of my 10 brothers or sisters.
The best way I know to explain it is that it is a generational thing. I grew up in a generation where being gay was not acceptable - ever. Ever. Under any circumstances.
So I live my life alone. I'm okay with it because that's the healthiest thing for me to do - being okay with it, I can live my best life possible, as happy as I choose to be.
Yes, I am lonely. But I live with it. And it's OK. It's my normal.
I hope you are able to find someone to love in your life. You deserve it. Anyone with your courage deserves all things good and upbeat.
Take care of yourself. Choose to be happy. Choose a life of love.
I'm glad you shared this video. I rated it 5 stars for you. Congratulations on coming out, it is an awesome thing!
Erik
Your video is 5 years old now, but I still will say "Good for you." The video is engrossing and informative. I came out to fundamentalist parents decades ago. (Actually my brother "outed" me during a heated argument with them - but that's another story.) Coming out is hard when your parents are like that. Really hard. I had to leave home. I wish you well, and I can tell you this: Leaving home turned out to be the best alternative for me. My parents lost a son, but I gained my self-esteem away from negative input. I'm 74 now and have no regrets. I've had a good life filled with wonderful people and unpredictable adventures. I would love to hear that you are having a good life, too.
I never understood how any parent could disown his child. I was fortunate that mine did accept me when I came out at age 30, I'm 60 now. I am so glad you ultimately had a very good life. Best wishes my friend.
I loved the part about your telling your best friend; that was great. The rest of what you had to say was very powerful, and I am sure that it has made an impression on those who have heard it. Kudos to your dad! 'Tis terrific to see someone from Ireland in one of these videos, and I am putting it on my "Coming Out As Gay" UA-cam Playlist.
Hopefully your comfort level is better, you mentioned you and your Mom have gotten closer, what of your Dad, hope he's still ok with it. It had to have been difficult, but your survival skill got you thru and may have helped another find similar results. You've shared a difficult experience with hopes it helps another, if only just one.
The irony is, his mother could evidently get past thousands of priests molesting children, and remain Catholic, but freaked out at her son being gay. It's so sad that so many young people have to be afraid of being who they are, and live in fear of people finding out about something they have no control over. Society has a long way to go in terms of acceptance even after all these years. Shame on us.
I hope, not only for your sake, but for whoever you meet one day that changes your life and makes you feel complete. You seem like the type of person that has someone out there that will make all this frustration and all of these insecurities fade. Someone you can be completely free and open with and love. I truely wish for you to have that peace in your heart to know that feeling.
I thoroughly enjoyed your coming-out video. You obviously have a great personality, and I think you will do well in life, gay or not. Just live each day as it comes, to the fullest! I am a gay man 78 years old, and I never for a minute had a physical attraction to the opposite sex. My parents found out about me by accident when I was in my 20's, so I moved to a larger town 25 miles away. I enjoyed my life as a gay man and now I enjoy it as a retired gay man. Good advice you gave in your video. I wish you well in whatever you do in life! Cheers!
You seem like a good kid and you've made it through a difficult time and need to be proud and confident that you've done something that's extremely hard for even adults to do ! Always be your own biggest cheerleader in life and most importantly be " safe and careful " and true to yourself ! Good Luck and Congratulations ...
rc5chi I hope, hasn’t returned.
Hey, I'm glad you told your story. Your life is important and so is your story. Of course, I watched the whole thing. Lately, I have been looking for and watching coming out stories that don't go so well. Your story was exactly what I wanted to see.
I told my parents over 30 years ago and it was terrible and unlike everyone else, it never got any better. My relationship with my parent has been terrible ever since. I grew up in New Mexico in the US. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I told them and I could not have gone on and not told them. I'm much happier being honest. I can't imagine how bad my life would be if I had never told them. I'm guessing that I would probably be in jail or something like that.
I'm glad you came out and decided to be true to yourself. That is all any of can do and if some people don't want to hear it, that is their problem. When I get to see someone like you being honest about your like, it gives me great joy. And I can guarantee that you will encourage someone to do the same.
Thanks for your video. Keep making health choices. You are contributing to your future.
Ted
Ted Williamson did you hate your parents
Ted Williamson Awe Ted, it’s so sad and scary, back then and still now. Am straight and hurt for everyone who goes through this coming out of the closet transition into being whole and fulfilled in ones life. This young man did not return to YT, makes one worry. The gay community is so vulnerable.
"Gotten off quite lightly.." How sad is it that we have to feel that way? If someone says I'm not a morning person, or I like the color red. We don't put them down for it or judge them. But if we're gay or bi or trans, etc. We allow judgement and opinions in??? So backwards!! Times have changed a lot. I know they have. We have a ways to go still.
I hope that you’re mum has/will except you and I also am sooo happy that you finally got the courage to come out as it is a very hard thing
I can't even begin to know how alone one must feel when thinking of coming out. Other things like having a baby, being left by a girlfriend, etc. you have lots of other people to guide you through things. But coming out is so lonely because you don't have a lot of family and friends to guide you through it. It usually is something that you must do by yourself.
I did not come out until I was 35, I wasted half of my life, I'm glad you did not wait.
Brilliant video. I know it's a while ago now, but I'm just as impressed with this as if you published it yesterday.
You're really cute and I hope to see more from you soon. :-)
Cute? Off the charts!!!!
I came out 12 years ago, but still don't feel comfortable at the idea of going out for dates yet. It's so strange.. Everyone knows I'm gay and I even have rainbow flags on some profile pics, but still something is holding me back. So.. I've just started watching videos like this, hoping to overcome that barrier. Well, thx for your story and honest words. I hope a lot your mother has been able to accept your full self in the meantime.
You would do well in an acting career... your coming out story was so entertaining as well as heartfelt. I wish you nothing but the best. Thank you for sharing your story!
@Gary Lee You are a total cutie Gary!
when I came out at 22, I told my parents, I don't care if u like it or not!!!!! This is my life, u can deal with it, or I will NEVER speak to either of you again!!! I do not need anybody!!! GUESS WHAT, they dealt with it real quick!!!!!!!
You should tell your Mr. Mum: "you are just confused! You don't like Jesus! You are just confused!"
@48car19 I love the way you think! She would absolutely go ballistic, I love it!
I love these videos when they get right to the point. Well done.
This why it is important that we Gay men have our own spaces to talk about affairs that affect us and connect with other Gay men; in the same way that straight men and women have their own spaces, and straight men and women must respect Gay spaces and respect our differences 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️
I'm watching this 11 years after you posted it. I loved it. You are, in the video, delightfully gay! :) On a serious not, I'm sorry that you had that initial reaction from your mom. I'm super glad that she is adjusting to it now though. I hope you are healthy and happy in 2023!
I feel for your story, which was excellent, moving and touching. I decided to tell the my own story after hearing some of the heartbreaking stories that, to this day, are told by young people in 2014. My story is extremely honest, revealing and frank.
Coming Out Story by Jim in 1970s
WELL DONE LAD..YOU REMIND ME SO MUCH OF MYSELF WHEN I TOLD MY MOTHER IM GAY .AND IT SOUNDS LIKE YOUR MOTHER IS VERY SIMILAR IN THAT SHE IS A CATHOLIC..THOUGH MY MOTHER WAS A JEHOVAHS WITNESS & WHEN I TOLD HER IM GAY,,IT WAS A MIXTURE OF ANGER & UPSET..SHE WASNT HAPPY & SHE NEARLY THROUGH ME OUT OF HER HOUSE. BECAUSE I.WAS COMING OUT AS GAY..BOTH MY PARENTS & MY BROTHER WAS IN DENIAL & THEY REFUSED TO ACCEPT THE FACT THAT IM GAY & THAT MY MOTHER HAD GIVEN.BIRTH TO HER GAY SON & ACCEPT THAT I WAS BORN TO. BE GAY..YOU PUT YOUR SPEACH TOGETHER WELL.AND YOU WAS VERY BRAVE TO TELL YOUR RELIGEOUS MOTHER WHEN YOU WAS ONLY 16..I WAITED ANOTHER 4 YEARS & I TOLD MY MUM IM GAY WHEN I WAS 19 COS MY MUM WAS A LOT STRICTER & SHE WAS MORE HOMOPHOBIC THAN YOUR MOTHER WAS WITH YOU I GUESS COMPARED WITH YOUR. STOREY..BUT I THINK A STRICT RELIGEOUS UPBRINGING IS SADLY PARENTS DO TEND TO BE HOMOPHOBIC..IN SOME CASES THE PARENT MIGHT. BE GAY THEMSELFS &. CANT ACCEPT THEIR OWN GAY TENDANCEYS..BEST WISHES TO YOU LAD..YOURS TRUELY,,& LOADS OF LOVE LAD--XFACTOR PAUL BLACKPOOL.. ON UA-cam..
Hey Cassettie, just found your video. I'm an American high school teacher and just want to give you a lot of support and encouragement. Hope things are going better now with your parents. Give them time, they are Catholic and Irish, as am I. It takes a lot of time and effort to get past some of that brainwashing and to start to think for yourself. It's not their fault and they are probably very good people. Let me know how you are doing and if I can help.........all the best to you..........Ray
If you have problems for religious/cultural reasons, this will set you free: “On Human Suffering and the Concept of God” - the psychological origin of religious beliefs
neomodernistpoetry.blogspot.com/2018/11/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html
or homoeroticpoems.blogspot.com/2018/06/on-human-suffering-and-concept-of-god.html
I would have no problem if I had a kid who was gay. It wouldn't change who you were 5 minutes ago. Same person. I would say no problem and go about my day.
I had an inbox message from you ages ago and came across this and I must say good on you! Must have took some effort telling your mom i'm sure. I do remember you mentioning how homophobic she was...
Love your accent! Irish mixed with a bit of northern English. I’d be gutted if my Mum had rejected me, luckily she didn’t. I’ll never understand why your Mum who made you, carried you, feed you, cradled you would be so cruel and not give you unconditional love. You a smart, intelligent, caring and extremely likeable lad. Good Luck to ya 🍀
DUDE GOD BLESS YOU!
it is what it is.
and your mother is a product of her upbringing.
don't hold anything against her please!
01:45 - I love his gay test! "Do you fancy guys? Do you like them? Are they hot?... Yes, yes, and yes!".....Brilliant!
If parents would just realize, that we are still the same person they raised. We still have the same beliefs, same dreams, hopes, and goals. Our souls are still the ones given to us. The only difference is our sexual preference is different. Any parent who can't accept that, disowns, or bans their child from from their life and home doesn't deserve that child. It's not as if they are being asked to understand, just accept, LOVE, and support our choice.
Even with exception, remains our families. I'm glad I decided to watch some videos tonite. Usually I find that the moms are ok with their sons being gay. I'm glad you shared this so some other kids can learn and gain support. Your a very good speaker and I hope to learn as much as I can from kids today. You see, I have always been there for my friends and tho my grandson is almost 4, I hope to have some good advise for him should the issue of bi/gay arise. I look forward to hearing more from you
JUST CAME ACROSS YOUR VID! U R SO COOL!
I AM VERY PROUD OF U
MANY OTHER'S WILL SEE THIS AND HAVE HOPE!! MUCH LOVE*
It is about time that priests of the RC church give sermons or hold meetings and explain to the parishioners that some of the kids in the parish will turn out to be homosexual AND THEY BETTER GET USED TO THAT IDEA and support them. All children need the loving support of their family. From what I know of the POPE he would agree with that.
Don't apologize; you told us a lot and thank you. You are a courageous young man. It is your Mum who lacks the smarts. Hope you don't take after her. I am not gay. I am a Protestant and I guess that makes the difference. Well maybe.
Dude. I loved this video, openly bi guy here and this video gives so much courage. Thanks
I think people are confused who say that people are not gay, but just confused. I'm sorry for you, dude, that your mom was not supportive when you came out to her. Stay strong, keep your chin up and don't let anybody tell you that there's something wrong with you!
Really glad there is you-tube so these stories can be told. It allows those who haven't come out, to get the positive side of this issue.
adorable face. cute accent. very smooth velvety voice
that's kinda creepy tbh
Aspen - Well, he is kinda cute and does have a cool accent. I’m assuming they meant it like I do, a simple compliment.
Cute guy can't figure out the accent
The world is better now in many ways, I think, but coming out can still be very hard for many people. Videos like this are important.
Hope you're doing well now. From the video description, it sounds like things improved.
Your so brave to have made this video! I hope your Mom by now has come around? If not pray for her. She has a very brave and smart son!! The Lord made you this way and some day when you leave this world HE WILL tell you why he did!!! I wish you only the best!!!!!
I realized that this is a process that takes patience. This is a process that takes patience on both sides. You have you be patience with yourself. You have to be patient with other people. This is a process that’s a two-way street. Both sides have to be ready if they’re ever ready at all to form a new kind of relationship.
10 years and I'm just seeing this.I hope you sre happy and well.
aw i love this and your personality . im going through a hard time like this also. did things get better for you ?
Yes, thankfully!
@@cassettiespagetie thank you, i continue to wish you the best
...from the first 8 minutes I feel your angst and am maybe going to see what has happened since by going thru the comments. Also see if your still active on YT.
HIV was very new when I came out, already living away from home, maybe 22 years old.
Due to HIV being mis understood and the homophobia from my mum I was told I was still welcome to come to my parents home for visits but I was also told I couldn't bring a significant other over with me.
So I wrote a note to my parents and told them if they ever thought they'd want to visit that my dad was welcome but not his wife, my mum.
Sophmoric but it made me feel good to throw it back.
Being gay doesn’t make you any less of a person infected and small variety to your life and what I love the people might not expect to hear this from you it’s good for you do identify yourself and what you want if they don’t except you you can choose a family and get a society who will love you and care about you. I’m a Catholic and I resolve that God loves me and anyone who hates me hates God’s creation the church preaches against it but they should also preach against divorce and adultery and incest and all the other things that go on in the church including pedophilia. I want to say how much I admire you for doing what you did.
You’ve said a lot, you were a brave young man. Hope life is getting better my young friend!
Great vid dude :)
I know its hard to come out but you did agood job keep posting
When I finally came out (to myself first of all) I felt for the first time that I WASN’T confused. Everything in my life finally made sense.
I think it's much easier for people to be able to come out to themselves today, because "gay stereotypes" are being smashed. I was more of a jock and in my early teens, no sports jocks" had come out. No role models, for me to take the clue from!.
I dated girls and fooled around sexually with some of my buddies. I just thought i was part of some unspoken about secret society for privileged boys that i could do both.
It wasn't until i was older, that i figured out, that i got off, having sex with a girl, but the need to be affectionate with them wasn't there. Screwing girls was one thing, but spending the night, wasn't on my mind.
when i began to think about it, i remembered from the time my (boy) buddies and i had sleep overs, we slept like spoons. I realized, that i'd rather spend the night with an affectionate boy (sex or no sex) then have sex with a girl and totally turned off by the idea of sleeping next to them.
Ronnie Caron That’s very brave and honest of you to share. Still need role models, the gay community is evolving.
@@luguy8347 Hi Lu Guy, Thanks. what you said, really means a lot. But it was far easier to type that out, then to actually come out to myself. I guess i was subliminally brain washed!
My parents had gay friends, who were invited to parties, because they were successful men in the theatre or design or authors. i knew they were gay, but i didn't know that gay was anything but that stereotype.
To add to what i originally posted .As i said, i had a girlfriend and so did my best friend (best buddy since the playpen) I had fooled around with other boys on our teams, but not him. Nothing serious happened, with the other boys, just 'fooling around' and helping each other get off. ZERO GUILT or a thought that what we were doing was remotely gay or bi.
My best bud was spending the weekend. His family was out of town. Without warning, he looked at my and kissed me. I didn't resist! Fireworks went off in my head, my toes curled and i started to sweat and it was the middle of winter. We were at it for hours and did just about everything. I all seemed so fucking natural, not at all like screwing a girl.
Our girlfriends just faded away. We spent all of our free time together and always had girls on our arms for parties and dances.
At the time, i never thought about it being gay. Athletes and jocks, weren't gay. NO ROLE MODELS and things haven't changed much.
Yes, they're gay characters on TV, but none of them are me. Recently, thair was a Disany show, called Andi Mack. I started to watch because they announced (groundbreaking) they would have their first gay character in one of the leading roles. He came out subliminally, to to friends who were girls and kept him in the closet for the next 30 episodes.
Although, a boy joined the cast, who was a jock and it was obvious to the audience that he would become a love interest. Disany kissed the asses of the Homophobic Evangelicals and rewrote scripts and edited epos to get rid of anything that showed real proof, that the boys had fallen in love. It wasn't until the last 5 min of the last show, that they showed the boys, secretly holding hands and looking into each others eyes.
it took me years to get the point that i wasn't going to get married and have a secret boyfriend, posing as my best buddy, on the side.
Sorry for ranting, but i'm very passionate about normalizing the gay community, to the point that it isn't a big deal, if a boy is gay or bi or a girl is transitioning into a boy.
Ronnie Caron I think growing up is a process, it takes time, stages and we are also a product of our times. You were encouraging this young man and that is something more special then you think. I wish you so much happiness, healthy and safe life. 💜 plus your very generous to share your truth. You know you too are a role model, leading by example, by making mistakes and learning from them, too. I hope you find one true partner and build a family. Kids or no kids, just together you can appreciate, respect and value one another. But, I think loneliness is an epidemic in both straight and gay. Build your community with straight and gay, black or white, old or young, network for old age.
I want you to know even if you want people don’t like your video there in a virtual either like or dislike or disagree with your video that does not mean that you will get a rating either way. Just stay strong and just be yourself and if you except yourself and a lot of good will fallow on that
At least your mom except you for who you are only on her own terms trust in that
I hope your mom wakes up and realizes she has a wonderful son who is perfect and authentic. She need counseling to help her overcome her internalized prejudice because it is robbing her of a wonderful relationship with her courageous son!
Well done. Your mother doesn't realise how lucky she is to have such a grounded son as you
There are some famous Irish gay folk including Graham Norton
DR Mc the world loves Norton.
I expected this to bring me right down,I WANTED A SAD STORY DAMN YOU LOL
Good for you. I know it’s been years. I hope your life has gone splendidly!
Brave you are, thanks for sharing your story,
Hope you're doing better now and hope you're relationship with mother has improved in time
Howdy from Texas !
I enjoyed your video and you. A very dear Irish friend recently died. Your accent reminds me of him, Brinsley --- God rest him. I had planned to visit him in Ireland this year. Come to Texas !
So nervous to tell my own mom, thanks for the video.
Dude we accept you no matter what, whether or not your parents do. It gets better.
You are so sweet & adorable..I am sure things will work out for you...sorry to hear about your family members thou..take care, god blessed and hope everything works out for you..:)
I never understood the whole unbridled and completely unnecessary hatred directed at the lgbt community.
Like seriously people being gay/les/pan/bi it's just two human beings that love each other and want to fuck hard.
"Love is about hearts, not parts."
Like seriously that's all it is. Two people loving each other, like how the hell is that so deserving of hatred? It's beyond me.
As for trans/agender people: What's so bad about breaking off from what society wants us to be Or makes us out to be? If a boy says he's a girl then whatever. If a little boy wants to run around in a pink frilly dress calling himself a girl or if a little girl wants to dress up in pants and t-shirts and call herself a boy....then who am I to tell them they can't be themselves?
Sexuality and gender are a part of someone and who they are and for people to deny core parts of themselves would to be denying and suppressing themselves which is not healthy for anyone.
Homosexuals had been recorded through history to have existed just as much as heterosexuals have existed, so no it's not some new mind bobbling evil as so many claim. Nor is transgenderism.
Remember
Gender: Is between your ears
Sex: Is between your legs
Heterosexuality and Homosexuality: Have existed alongside each other for as far back as I can find.
How anyone can harbor so much hatred towards someone who doesn't conform to the normal ways of society that has been presented to us, is a concept I cannot comprehend.
In all honest hating someone because of their sexuality is redundant and despicable.
Like you don't see homosexuals going around hating and bashing on someone because they are straight do you? So why is it that some straight people think it's okay to do so? Like what's up with that?
Let's take a very odd analogy here and say: Vanilla represents heterosexuality and all the other flavors of ice cream represent homosexuality.
What if I said this: "Any other flavor of ice cream is immoral and wrong and only vanilla was the natural flavor of ice cream and if you ate other flavors of ice cream you were a horrible, nasty person."
But then you'd say: They are only different from vanilla ice cream but that doesn't make them bad! Any other ice cream with another name, color and flavor would be just as sweet as vanilla!
Then I'd say: BINGO! You get it~
Nothing is wrong or immoral about homosexuals, they just have a different sexuality than you do, just as everyone else is different.
This whole world is full of diversity instead of disowning it we should embrace it. Just because it's different doesn't mean it's horrible or wrong. It just means that no two people will ever be exactly alike and can you imagine how damn awfully boring it would be here on Earth if everyone was the same, had the same eye colors, had the same hair, same skin color, same sexuality, same old anything really.
That's right we'd all be snoozing all day long because without diversity all day everyday would be the same.
So to all you homosexuals, heterosexuals, Christians, Catholics, Jews, African Americans, bisexuals, pansexuals, asexuals, and what have you:
Know that you're amazing, I think you're bloody brilliant, brave because you dare to be different and I love you! I celebrate diversity, not condemn it!
Be who you are, do what you want to do, go where you want to go, love who you love, and don't let anyone in this world bring you down because you are you and that's that and if people don't like it tough! You don't need them!
Also one last thing: Everyone out there, be careful who you hate, you never know it might just be someone you love.
Your my hero.... I'm bisexual and I want some rainbow ice-cream please,
I couldn't put it better myself...love is not a sin ..and love has no gender!
God honestly doesnt care if I have a boyfriend rather than a girlfriend .its the motive in our heart that counts...and we will be judged on how much we have loved or not loved others..
Are you really only sixteen!! So bright, so handsome, so together>
Hey Gary babes, got a little secret you're hiding? I mean, your profile pic and channel would suggest so xoxo
Hey guy, sorry, I didn't catch your name. I'm just now seeing this, funny how UA-cam recommends things many years later. But anyway, are you still gay? Hey, just kidding, of course you are. It's not a personal choice, it's the way you were created. I hope that things are much better for you now. I can tell that you were a bit uncomfortable when you made this video. I'm sure you are more comfortable now. I wish you the best and stay healthy. This pandemic seems to be affecting the whole world. Love ya!
How are you doing now??? I hope you're happy and well.
i love the ending of the video!!
Hi I know your probably like 25 now but I’m now in your situation. I’m 16 and have homophobic parents, sibling including my homophobic twin and all my friends at school are homophobic. I really want to come out but I literally feel like if I do, I will lose everybody. I’m just in a really shitty situation.
Matthew Byrne did you really hate your parents and your brother and sister
The description of homosexuality as a lifestyle is a blatent oversimplification of human sexuality in general and homosexuality in particular. Such indoctrination of the collective societal psyche is paramount to the self validating delusion of heterosexuality possessing moral validity. The reason that we never hear the term " heterosexual lifestyle " is because there is no need to catogorize heterosexuality with such descriptively inherent connotative oversimplification in order to subconciously justify contempt and hatred through the stone of subjective comparison.
Just don't throw it on them... They'll come round one day even if the first few days/weeks/months/years are pretty tough.
They way you'll feel after vastly outweighs their reaction : )
Stop apologizing. You did wonderful. You're a lovely young man and I hope your mother has come to realize just how lucky she is to have such a brave and beautiful son. Carry on.
I hope you're going to make another vid soon :)
Heyy are u still alive? It would be cool if u upload more videos about this and hows ur life now after all these years :)
Your a wonderful young man. Be proud of yourself, you have nothing to be embarrassed about or ashamed of. Hold your head high and walk tall. Be safe and be true to yourself, love you, your beautiful ❤️ 🏳️🌈
all mums say this ! , my mum said this too , I am a lot older than you BUT your story could have been mine ! , good luck to you !
A beautiful testimony by an honest teen and step to wholeness
You said ALOT!!! Ur amazing!!!
This made me smile
Man is he ever adorable! If your mum "chucks" you, you can come stay with me.
I hope you and gay people every where are safe, healthy and happy. There is nothing of you on YT, after this.
Would be great if you could give an update. Wishing you the best.
Dannhy Mir Yeah, sad and scary.